My Little Sly Cooper: Thievery is Magic

by Deyeaz

VIII - Transportation and Transfiguration

"YOU MURDERER!" Murray bellowed as he pick up Carmelita by her hair and brought her to his eye level. "HOW COULD YOU?!?!"

"MURRAY, WAIT! PUT HER DOWN!" Bentley begged the hippo. Carmelita's eyes were as small as dust mites as she whimpered under Murray's fierce gaze. Reluctant to his true intentions, Murray released his vicelike grip on Carmelita's weave. Inspector Fox fell to the floor, massaging her scalp. "What do you want?" Bentley asked.

"I... I want to ap... apologize," Carmelita murmured.

"Oh, sure!" Murray said sarcastically. "Apologize, that'll make everything better!"

"Look, I'm sorry, okay!?"

"Sorry doesn't cut it!" Murray snapped angrily. "If the word 'sorry' made everything better, there'd be no criminals in jail!"

"He's right, Carmelita," Bentley added as he wheeled over. "While I do appreciate you having the guts to come over and apologize... I'm afraid it was all in vain. Sly's dead... and there might not be anything we can do about it." He fired a subtle wink at Murray. the hippo being the only one to catch it.

Carmelita sighed, a downtrodden look glued on her face. "Alright. Have a good evening, you too."

"Thank you, Ms. Fox," Bentley said as Murray walked away. Bentley closed the door and returned to the Multiverse Transporter. Once inside the mechanical marvel, he pressed the still-open tray containing Sly's DNA until the tray clicked closed. A sound of gears whirring and a blinking green light from a small bulb above the tray indicated that the DNA was in the process of being scanned.

After a moment or two of patient waiting, a female Artificial Intelligence's voice from the machine announces, "DNA scanning now complete. Subject name: Sly Cooper. Species: Thievius Raccoonus. Location: Equis, Equestria, a planet located in the heart of the Horsehead Nebula. Prepare for deatomization and multiversal teleportation in T-Minus ten seconds."

"This is it, Murray," Bentley said, a cocky grin on his face.

"Nine..."

"Sly, here we come!" Murray shouted gleefully.

"Eight..."

"Uh, Bentley?"

"Seven..."

"Yeah?"

"Six..."

"What's deatomization like?"

"Five..."

"...Er... You'll find out soon enough."

"Four... three... two..."

*THUD!"

The door to the hideout was burst open, almost swinging off of the hinges. Before Bentley and Murray could react, an orange and brown blur rushed into the Multiverse Transporter, right when the machine had finished its countdown. The inside of the machine began to course with arcs of electricity. After a few seconds, followed by a bright flash of light, the occupants of the machine had all but vanished, a burn spot in the middle of the Transporter's floor being the only evidence that someone had been in there.

That... and a golden police badge resting at the entrance of the hideout, the brown jacket cloth pinned to it fluttering weakly in the breeze.

"Thank goodness that's over with."

Sly shook his head as he walked around Ponyville, trying to kill time before dinner. He had finished with his afternoon tea with Lyra and Bon-Bon three or four hours ago, and he had just now left the farm where he was teaching the Cutie Mark Crusaders, for he was planning on helping them obtain their precious butt-tattoos in the many skills he used to pull off his thieving camaraderie.

However... it wasn't all that effective.

"Are you ready, girls?" The coon-pony asked the trio of fillies, who nodded in earnest at his question. Sly, Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle had gathered at one of the tree-ridden fields of Sweet Apple Acres. Placed upon the grass was a horde of several obstacles and objects, such as pipes, ropes, ladders, narrow platforms, hooks, rings, and other tools of the Cooper thieving trade that littered the earth of the plain. Sly, in his spare time, had created three small canes out of wood for the fillies to use, much like his own tool and weapon.

"Alrighy, girls, let 'er rip!" Sly then said.

"Oh, good God, the pandemonium that ensued..." Sly shivered. How Applebloom managed to break her cane, how Sweetie Belle lost hers, and how Scootaloo used hers incorrectly was completely enigmatic for the raccoon-turned-pony. Even worse was how the entire obstacle course had been demolished like a tornado had touched down right in the middle of the farm. But alas, at least it was over.

However, Applejack and Big Macintosh were going to be out for his blood when they saw the mess they all made: after all, they not only authorized the four of them to use that spot on the orchard, but also provided them with the supplies. After experiencing Applejack's fierce kick, Sly was in no mood whatsoever to get his butt kicked again. So, at that thought, he reluctantly turned around and made his way back to the farm, grumbling at the tedious task ahead of him.

"Stupid wood... gotta be so weak...."

Several minutes had been gobbled up once he had reached the spot at Sweet Apple Acres where he and the Cutie Mark Crusaders had trained, still grumbling spitefully as his misfortune. He tossed off his saddlebags and his cane aside before getting to work almost immediately.

It took several more minutes actually get the ruins of the obstacle course in the disposal bin that rested outside of the farm's fences. As the time wore on, Sly found it incredibly difficult to concentrate on getting his job done, especially with all that tantalizing and delicious plethora of apples that dangled from the trees and in his line of sight. Every time he passed a tree, which was all the time, his nose twitched ferociously, the nostril flaring as they took in that sweet, succulent smell of the farm's fruits of labor.

At long last, the last of the trash had been discarded next to the disposal bin, for the actual bin itself had been so overflowed with junk that Sly thought it was a miracle that the bin didn't break.

As if on cue, the unfortunate bin cracked and burst apart into pieces, the contents far too much for the container's measly capacity.

"Crud!" The thief stomped on the ground with his hoof, kicking up some dust. He took a deep breath. "Eh. Whatever, the trash company might come and collect it." He went back inside the barn to collect his stuff. Once his saddlebags were on his back and his cane was tucked in the straps, Sly made his way to the library. He took a look back at the sky, and saw that the sun was already three-fourths across the horizon. "Darn... I missed dinner." His slow trot soon turned into a fully fledged gallop as Sly raced across the roads of the town back to the Library.

However, a scene right in the middle of the intersection of Mane Street caught the larcenist's eye.

Right in the middle were a trio of ponies, unconscious by the looks of them. One was a male, bald unicorn that was as green as tree leaves. Horn-rimmed glasses were placed upon his face, his tail was short and tortoise-like, and he had a crimson bow tie and white collar at his neck. His Cutie Mark was a small computer processing data, with a large brain filled with information next to it.

The second was a male, large, and tubby Earth Pony that was also bald, yet had a fuchsia hue to his coat unlike the green unicorn. He had a hippo-like tail, wore glasses-like goggles, a white scarf, and a sky-blue T-shirt. His Cutie Mark was a tire in the middle of a burnout.

The third and final was a Pegasus mare that was as orange as the sunset behind Sly. She had a curly indigo mane, her tail was fox-like, and she was wearing a brown jacket. Her Cutie Mark was a police badge, a corner of it shining in some invisible light.

Sly's glance alternated between the three, until-

"Oh, Lord, no...."