//------------------------------// // Myriad Paths, by GMBlackjack and FoME // Story: Group Precipitation // by FanOfMostEverything //------------------------------// (GMBlackjack) "I don't think the ETSAB likes us very much." Seven different Rarities—including three unicorns, a pegasus, two humans, and some kind of floating crystal automaton—raised eyebrows in the universally understood 'no, really?' expression. Except the crystal automaton. She just... beeped. The eighth, lead Rarity put a hand to the bridge of her nose and sighed. She was a tall woman with shimmering wings coming out of her back and a magical halo hovering above her head. This elegant image was highly contrasted with the absurd number of guns she had strapped to her, including four pistols, some kind of sniper rifle on her back, and what could only be described as 'a machine gun made out of floral arrangements.' All the guns were of the absolute highest quality craftsmanship. She never used the guns. The Rarities of the Infinite Carousel took this as a good sign. Needless to say, the universe Rarity "Magnum" Belle called home was an unusual one. "Live or die by fashion," she'd say. Most Rarities thought she was joking. Hoped she was joking. "Why do I even call these meetings if you all treat everything I say like it's blatantly obvious?" "It usually is," a unicorn said. "Anyone of us could have told you that mission wouldn't go well." "I was on that mission," a human said. "You warned me, dear." "...So I did," Magnum said, sitting back in her chair. "So, business strategies?" "Well, we don't want to be overbearing..." "Why not?" the crystal asked. "It'll be better for them in the long run anyway." "That's how evil corporations are made." "We'll be careful!" "No offense, but how far did 'careful' get us in the Fae Realms?" There was silence at the table. "I hate giants," the pegasus said, suddenly. "I know such a sentiment is unladylike, but I really hate giants." "They are decidedly... brutish." "Only sometimes," the automaton pointed out. "I had a good conversation with my good friend." "He tried to eat you," a human said. "Small price to pay for companionship." One of the unicorns cleared his throat. "Pardon me, but shouldn't be we talking about business rather than dead ends?" Magnum nodded. "Good point." She pulled out a remote and tapped a button, bringing up a light blue hologram. "As you can see profits are rising, though the rate of increase is down two points again." "Again?" the pegasus groaned. "At this rate we'll reach our peak in a few decades!" "Most other businesses wouldn't care about something that far off," a human observed. "Do you have any idea how big the multiverse is!?" Silence. "That's right, nobody knows! If we don't have constant, expanding growth it's going to eat us up!" "I believe it is self-evident that our deep projections are fruitless given our lack of information," Magnum said. "But you are correct, we should seek ever-expanding growth. I personally believe this is just a minor setback. Find a few more worlds that have nothing to do with the ETSAB or... Fey......" She really hoped she was using the right word. "The vast majority of Rarities simply adore collaboration. And those that can't... well, a business card never hurts." "I cut myself on a business card, once," the pegasus offered. Magnum sighed. "Rarity..." "Yes?" All the Rarities in the room asked, save for the sole stallion. Magnum twitched. "You all need to get yourselves codenames or something, this happens FAR too often." "Even me?" the stallion asked. "Elusive, you are in the clear, for now. ...The rest of you, on the other hand, hoof, or crystalline appendage..." "Rarity is such a perfect name!" One of the humans tossed her hair back. "Why would we give it up?" "Because if you don't think of something else we're going to have to start referring to each other by number, and I think we all know enough Twilights to see how that would go wrong." There was a chorus of agreements from the room. (FoME) Sunset never felt entirely comfortable in Agent Heartstrings's office. Standing in a spacial fold she didn't make always made her skin crawl. Plus, it was the very same gym closet she'd had to live in for her first week in this world, which brought back memories she'd have much rather kept buried. Still, the ETSAB agent had made it clear that this was important, and a little discomfort was a small price to pay for keeping the universe safe and stable. "So, what's so bad about the Infinite Carousel?" "I have to echo the question," said Rarity, still holding the business card Ms. Harshwhinny had given her. "I am, if anything, slightly insulted by the idea the idea that grouping a great number of different versions of me somehow yields some sort of menacing syndicate." Agent Heartstrings—it was easier to just think of her that way than constantly trying to say which Lyra one meant—sighed as she pulled a file folder out of hyperspace. Sunset held back a twitch. "You have to understand," the agent said as she paged through the contents, "multiversal societies can be very sensitive to their formative experiences. The Sparkle Census is exactly what it sounds like, and it's exactly what you think it is, a combination research lab, multiversal library, and bureaucratic nightmare. The ETSAB itself is a governmental organization from an Equestria where we basically have to do Sunset's job in maintaining space and time." "What's the story there, anyway?" said Sunset. "Our universe is artificial and fundamentally unstable, created by our then god-level Pinkie Pie as part of a massive stable time loop that would ensure her own birth." Agent Heartstrings shrugged. "It's complicated." "Well, yeah," said Sunset. "It's Pinkie Pie." She discreetly shut Rarity's open mouth with a bit of telekinesis. "Exactly. In any case, the Office of Parallel Timelines may be the branch most people outside of our world see, but we're just one part of a greater organization, one with limited jurisdiction and an even more limited budget outside of our home universe." "And what of the Infinite Carousel?" said Rarity. Agent Heartstrings pulled a few pages out of the folder, photos of a bizarrely proportioned equinoid and logos featuring fireflies. "The Carousel was originally Lampyrid Solutions, LLC, a shell company made by a madmare to help support a twisted social experiment masquerading as a town in her Equestria. That world's Twilight convinced her to turn it into a legitimate trading company between three universes." More photos, very familiar ones. "And then the local Rarities stepped in." Rarity crossed her arms and scowled. "Again, I do not appreciate the implications here in the least." "The point is that the Carousel never entirely lost that predatory aspect. It's since become a case study in a single Element of Harmony left unmoderated by the others and warped into something deeply dangerous. It gives a lot back to its customers, no one can dispute that, but it takes more. And it has some of the most brilliant business minds in our corner of probability space devoted to maximizing its profit margin. It's not evil, but it is a dangerous mindset to have when dealing with the paracosmos." "Ah. Well then." Rarity cleared her throat. "Would now be a bad time to confess that I've been collaborating with my own pony counterpart for some time now?" Agent Heartstrings shrugged. "That happens fairly often. It's when several hundred Rarities band together and start buying out entire planetary economies that we start to worry." "So what do we do about it?" said Sunset. "In my professional opinion, it's safest to not have anything to do with them, but I'm hardly a neutral judge. It's your universe, Sunset. You're a big girl, you can make your own choices. Just keep your own Rarity close at hand when dealing with them, and vice versa. And probably include your other friends as well." Sunset nodded. "Got it. Thanks, Agent Heartstrings. You've given us a lot to think about." Rarity looked back at the business card. "Indeed so."