For the first time in many moons, the citizens of the small, nameless, mining town Lucerne Hammer had terrorized were able to go about their daily lives without fear of violence. Ponies were able to tend to their gardens or visit the general store, foals could be seen chasing each other in the street and a palpable sense of calm hung in the air.
This sense of serenity was shattered as the outer wall of the saloon’s upper floors detonated outward in an explosion of magical energy, sending splintered wood raining down into the streets below.
“THEY’VE CONQUERED CANTERLOT?” Moonwhisper screamed in unbridled rage. Moonwhisper’s horn was still crackling with energy as he stood in the wreckage of his room, the sclera of his eyes having turned crimson red and wisps of smoke trailing off from the corners of his eyes.
“Dear Celestia, Cadance…” a shell-shocked Shining Armor added as he struggled to process what Silver Streak had told him. “Wait, what about Flurry Heart? Please don’t tell me she –”
“Princess Flurry Heart was smuggled out of Canterlot by her crystaller and Starlight Glimmer,” Silver Streak assured Shining Armor. “They’ve since retreated back to Ponyville with some of the other escaped civilians and are taking refuge in Princess Twilight’s castle.”
“Oh thank Celestia,” Shining Armor exclaimed with relief. “Still, we need to do something.”
“For what little it’s worth, any of the other guards who’ve managed to avoid capture have also been regrouping in Ponyville as well, but we don’t have anywhere near the numbers we’d need to try and retake Canterlot,” Silver Streak offered. “What we really need is for the two of you to return and assist us with the assault.”
“I intend to. Specifically, I am going to return to Canterlot, and once I am there I am going to terminate every enemy combatant that comes between me and this Storm King. Once I’ve located said Storm King I’m going to personally tear out all of his internal organs. Then, once that has been accomplished I’m going to track down this Tempest Shadow individual and I will systematically rip out her entire skeleton. One. Bone. At. A. Time.”
As Shining Armor listened to Moonwhisper’s plans for the Storm King’s forces he leaned over to whisper to Silver Streak. “Uh, is that thing with his eyes normal?”
“You mean the scary glowy thing? Sort of, I’ve seen him do that once before, when we found out the Crystal Empire had first come back,” Silver Streak replied.
Shaking his head, Shining Armor turned to Moonwhisper. “Moonwhisper, what you’re talking about isn’t a plan,” Shining Armor protested. “That’s a goal. An extremely violent goal that I’d love to see you try for, but it’s not a plan. You can’t just rush into Canterlot and start killing the Storm King’s soldiers.”
“On the contrary, I am more than capable of doing exactly that,” Moonwhisper snarled through tightly clenched teeth.
“Look, I would like nothing more than to see you paint Canterlot red with the Storm King’s innards, but we need to be smart about this. Remember, these guys managed to take out Princess Celestia and Princess Luna without breaking a sweat. If you try to just rush in and start breaking things then you might end up petrified too. And even if that wasn’t a problem you’d still need to actually get to Canterlot,” Shining Armor quickly added before Moonwhisper had a chance to respond. “We need to figure out how we’re going to get to Canterlot before we start worrying about dealing with the Storm King. That is, unless your plan is to run all the way back to Canterlot.”
“I…will admit that is actually a valid point,” Moonwhisper begrudgingly conceded as he calmed enough for his eyes to return to normal. “Traveling by hoof really isn’t a viable option and the nearest train depot is still unacceptably far. I don’t suppose you have any suggestions?”
“Well, if there are any local pegasi in town I might be able to try jury-rigging a couple of chariots,” Silver Streak suggested. “If you have a couple of reasonably strong fliers you could make it back to Canterlot a lot faster than you could going overland.”
“I appreciate the suggestion, lieutenant, but the local townsponies entirely consist of earth ponies,” Moonwhisper replied. “You’re the only pegasus we have available, and you’re clearly in no condition to haul anypony else all the way back to Canterlot. That said, there is some merit to the idea of flying back. If we can get a message to one of the garrisons in the area, maybe they could spare a few – Shining Armor, where are you going?” Moonwhisper got up and chased after his fellow captain, who had suddenly leapt up and started rushing towards the door.
“It just hit me, I know where we can find a pegasi to get us to Canterlot,” Shining Armor said as he raced downstairs and out of the saloon.
“That’s certainly good to hear, but it doesn’t answer my question. Where exactly are we going?” Moonwhisper asked.
“You’ll see.” Even as Shining Armor answered, however, it was obvious to Moonwhisper where Shining Armor was leading them, namely the mine where Lucerne Hammer and his gang were being held. “I was thinking back to when we bagged Lucerne Hammer, he said he was running off to Klugetown.”
“Yes, it’s a disgusting slum filled with all manner of criminals and degenerates. Lucerne Hammer would fit right in,” Moonwhisper snorted.
“You left out the fact that its on the far side of a desert on the other end of Equestria. It’s way too far to try and get there on hoof, and if Lucerne was doing business there he’d have needed some way of getting to and from there quickly,” Shining Armor said.
“And you’re suggesting that all we have to is ‘convince’ Lucerne or one of his subordinates to share the details of their transport,” Moonwhisper concluded.
“We’ll probably have better luck questioning some of his goons,” Shining Armor said as they made their way into the mine. “If nothing else I’m pretty sure I broke Lucerne’s jay when I took him down.”
“Two simple fractures in the mandible plus the jaw itself was dislocated,” Moonwhisper confirmed. “Not to mention the concussion he sustained when hit the ground. I can repair the physical damage if necessary, but I imagine Lucerne Hammer would be less than cooperative either way.”
“Agreed. Which is why we’re going to start with his second-in-command.” As the pair reached the door to where the prisoners were being kept Shining Armor motioned for Moonwhisper to pause for a moment. “Before we go in there, we should probably have a plan ready. So, I’m thinking we try the usual ‘good guard / bad guard’ routine to start with, that usually works pretty well.”
“True enough. I presume I’m going to be playing the ‘bad guard’ again?” Moonwhisper said.
“Hey, why play against type?” Shining Armor chuckled as he pushed the door open. The converted storeroom behind the door was filled with the mares and stallions that until recently had terrorized the village, most of whom were tied up and sullenly awaiting their fate. Shining Armor scanned the room as he stepped inside until he finally spotted the pony he was looking for. “There she is, I remember one of the townsponies pointed her out when she was captured.” Moments later, Shining Armor levitated Freezing Rain up off the floor and pulled her out of the room.
“What the hay do you two want?” Freezing Rain irritably asked as she groggily regarded the stallions before her.
“Believe it or not, today’s your lucky day,” Shining Armor replied using the same sort of stern cheerfulness he typically employed when he announced to Flurry Heart that it was bath time. “We’re about to give you an opportunity to help us out with some important guard business and earn yourself some leniency when your sentencing comes up.”
Freezing Rain looked at her captors for a moment before providing her reply. “Pass.”
Without warning, a section of the all behind Freezing Rain promptly exploded, showering her with bits of stone and leaving a hoof-sized hole in the wall. “I would strongly advise you to at least hear Captain Shining Armor out before dismissing his offer.” Moonwhisper said, his horn still glowing with magical power.
“Thank you, Moonwhisper,” Shining Armor said quickly. “Anyway, we know that Lucerne Hammer was doing business with Klugetown. What we want to know is how he was able to travel there and back.”
Freezing Rain let out an annoyed snort. “That’s what all this is about? Fine, we had a wagon fitted to be flown by pegasi stashed at the edge of the ranch that a couple of use would fly out to Klugetown to deliver ore and carry back supplies. Sometimes Lucerne Hammer would ride in back if he needed to meet with a buyer. You seriously dragged me out here just to ask me that?”
Shining Armor shared a glance with Moonwhisper before responding. “This wagon, about how quickly could it reach Canterlot?”
“Depends. If you’ve got a couple of decent flyers pulling it and you’re not hauling anything too heavy you could probably make it there in about half a day or so,” Freezing Rain replied with a shrug. “Why the hay do you care, anyway? It’s not like you needed it to get here or anything.”
“Look, why we need the wagon isn’t your concern. What is your concern is that if you agree to get us back to Canterlot then I’ll recommend to Princess Celestia that she go easy on you for what you did to this town. You don’t really want to spend the rest of your natural life locked in some prison cell, do you?”
Freezing Rain let out a derisive snicker. “Yeah, no. You’re gong to need to de much better than some half-baked promises if you want me to haul your lazy rumps all the way to Canterlot,” Freezing Rain sneered. “At the very least give me something in writing that you won’t be able to back out of once we get to Canterlot. Otherwise you two can just hoof it back to Canterlot on your own. And, for what it’s worth, you’re gonna need to get a second pegasi anyway, that clunker is too much for one flyer to haul quickly.” As Freezing Rain watched Shining Armor and Moonwhisper’s uncertain expressions she broke out into a wide grin. “You know, now that I think about it I think I should be getting paid for this little job, too. After all, you two must be in a pretty big hurry if –”
Freezing Rain was abruptly cut off as she was suddenly enveloped by Moonwhisper’s aura and slammed against the wall. “You miserable, worthless parasite! Equestria is being invaded, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna and even Princess Cadance have been captured and you’re sitting there grubbing for bits?” Moonwhisper snarled with barely contained fury.
“Wait, hold on, you didn’t say anything about Princess Celestia being captured. You’re kidding right? That’s…you’re just making up some stupid crisis so I’ll go along with whatever it is you need me for,” Freezing Rain said, trying and failing to sound confident.
“Some lunatic calling himself the Storm King attacked Canterlot with an army and completely took it over,” Shining Armor replied solemnly. “Like Moonwhisper said, all of the princess except Twilight have been captured somehow and the guards there are completely overrun. Right now, barring Twilight and her friends pulling off some kind of miracle, Moonwhisper and I are Equestria’s best hope to stop all of this, but we need to actually get to Canterlot before we can do anything.”
“You – you’re not kidding around, are you?” Freezing Rain asked. As Shining Armor and Moonwhisper shook their heads, Freezing Rain’s expression became serious. “Why in rutting Tartarus didn’t the two of you say that to begin with? Like I said, we’ll need another pegasi if we want to get to Canterlot without stopping. I’d probably recommend grabbing Squall Line, she’s a whiner, but she was also one of my best strongest fliers and she’ll probably take just about any offer you wave in front of her.”
“Well, aren’t you suddenly the cooperative one,” Moonwhisper said, suspicious clearly audible in his voice.
“Being asked to play taxi for the unicorns who arrested me is one thing, being asked to freaking help save Equestria is another,” Freezing Rain snapped back. “I may be a criminal, sure, but I’m an Equestrian criminal and I’m sure as hay not going to sit around on my rump while Princess Celestia is in trouble!”
“Well alright then,” Shining Armor replied after taking a moment to process this sudden revelation of Freezing Rain’s apparent patriotism. “We need to get moving as soon as possible. Moonwhisper, you grab this Squall Line and get up her up to speed on what’s going on. While you’re doing that, I’ll take Freezing Rain back to the ranch to locate that wagon and get it ready to go, you can meet us there. If any of the townsponies asks what’s going on just tell them we’ve conscripted Freezing Rain and Squall Line to provide transportation as part of their sentence.” Shining Armor paused for a moment. “Actually, I’ll tell them that, you just give them one of your angry glares until they decide not to ask questions.”
“I don’t anticipate that being an issue,” Moonwhisper replied. “I’ll also instruct Silver Streak to head to Ponyville once she’s able to fly. There’s a distinct possibility that I’ll still be in the process of engaging in regicide at that time and it would be best if somepony were able to organize any forces that avoided capture during the initial assault.”
“You honestly think it will take you that long to deal with the Storm King?” Shining Armor asked.
“It would be a bit more accurate to say that that’s how long that I intend to take when dealing with the Storm King,” Moonwhisper replied darkly. “Now, let’s get moving, I want us to reach Canterlot by nightfall.”
*********
“That is the most awesome name ever!” Pinkie Pie squealed as Tempest Shadow, or apparently Fizzlepop Berrytwist, revealed her real name. As the rest of Pinkie Pie’s friends rolled their eyes and left Pinkie Pie to her Pinkie-ness, a dark speck descended down from the clouds along the horizon. Even if they had been looking there, it was unlikely that anypony would have noticed as the speck as it rapidly approached the city form the south, even as it drew close enough to be made out to be a wagon being pulled by a pair of pegasi. Even if they had, it would have been even more unlikely that anypony would have noticed the dark figure leaping out of the chariot until it suddenly launched itself towards Canterlot while mid-air, rocketing itself at the city like a missile. As it was, it wasn’t until the figure impacted the ground a few yards from where Twilight and her friends were sitting.
“WHERE IS THE…Storm…King?” Moonwhisper roared, the fury in his voice dissipating before he could even finish his sentence.
“Oh, he’s over there. And there. And there,” Spike replied helpfully as Twilight got up to welcome her special somepony back.
“Moonwhisper! I take it you heard about the whole invasion thing,” Twilight said awkwardly as Moonwhisper dispelled his armor.
“Lieutenant Silver Streak reported on the instance, yes. And it would appear that you’ve resolved the issue already. Because of course you have,” Moonwhisper said as he took a deep breath.
“You’re not upset, are you?” Twilight asked.
“No, not upset. I just need a moment to process the sudden transition from blind, murderous rage to relief.” As Moonwhisper spoke a pink sphere plummeted down from the sky and crashed into the ground nearby, revealing Shining Armor in a three-point landing pose. “At ease, Captain. Twilight and her companions have already dealt with the Storm King situation,” Moonwhisper said before Shining Armor could say a word.
“Oh. Good,” Shining Armor replied before collapsing forward onto the ground. “Dear Celestia, that really is hard on your knees.” An audible smack could be heard as Moonwhisper promptly facehoofed in response.
“Why don’t I fill you both in on what happened while you two were gone,” Twilight offered as she helped her brother back to his hooves.
“That would be appreciated,” Moonwhisper admitted as he seemed to finally relax a little. “I get the impression that it should be quite the story.”
*********
“-and then we used the magic in the Staff of Sacanas to free the princesses and restore Canterlot. After that, we got the Friendship Festival back up and running again and here we are,” Twilight said as she finished recounting the story of what had happened over the last several days.
“Geez, Twily, that’s one hay of a story,” Shining Armor said as he allowed Flurry Heart to crawl over him. “And here I thought Moonwhisper and I were going to be the ones with an adventure story to tell.”
“Oh, that’s right!” Twilight exclaimed. “In all the excitement I had completely forgotten why you two weren’t here. What sort of friendship problem did the map send you to solve?”
Shining Armor let out a nervous chuckle. “It was, uh, something to do with some old business going back to our early days in the guard. I’m sure Moonwhisper can fill you in on the details.”
Moonwhisper, meanwhile, was sitting off to the side with the serenity of somepony who dearly wanted to say ‘I told you so’. As Moonwhisper sat there, Tempest Shadow cautiously sidled up to him. “So…you’re Twilight’s what exactly? Bodyguard? Coltfriend?” Tempest asked.
“Miss Storm, I recognize that Twilight affirms that you are reformed and you actions preventing Twilight from being petrified does support that conclusion. That being said, up until a few minutes ago I fully intended to tear out you spinal column and beat you to death with it. As such, it may be best if you were to keep your distance for the time being.” As an alarmed Tempest Shadow quickly scuttled away Moonwhisper took another deep breath, quietly looking forward to being able to put the past several days behind him.
It was at that moment that Discord suddenly popped into view above the group dressed in a strange-looking red and black shirt. “Well, that was certainly a fun little vacation. So,” Discord asked as he peered down at the assembled ponies with a knowing grin. “What did I miss?”