The Price of Wanting

by Moonriseoversunset


Searching the Stars (updated and edited, to the best of my ability)

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Within a small room with orange painted walls, a slow constant beep signified the fighting victory over death. The drapes were drawn open, allowing the moon to shine through. Underneath the bay window was a couch made of the window seal. Near the window was a door marked bathroom. At the center of the room stood a bed surrounded by all types of machines. It had the standard heart rate machine and IV dripper stationed at the side of the bed closest to the door. To the side of the bed was an oxygen ventilator.

The machines all had one thing in common despite their vastly different purposes, and that was keeping a young girl alive. On her face, she wore a respirator that pumped air into her lungs, while an IV was placed in her forearm. There was a small clip on her right pointer finger connecting her to the heart monitor. Her skin was a pale amber, but the biggest change for those that knew her was her hair. What used to be long flowing hair was now shoulder length and straight, much like Twilight's.

She was silent except for a small whimper here and there. Whether it was from pain or unpleasant dreams, it was known only to her. The group of nine walked in quietly, Twilight needed help as she swore her feet were fused to the floor in shock. An overwhelming amount of guilt and pain bared itself onto her shoulders. The tightness in her chest made her feel like her chest was caving in.

It was only with the help of Applejack and Fluttershy that she managed to cross over the threshold. It seemed as though Sunset had lost that fire the burned within her, even if that fire was destructive. It was better than thinking of her as ash, weak and easily erased. She looked so cold and weak to Twilight that it took all of her will power not to sob where she stood. She was having a hard time believing that she might be the cause of such pain and emptiness.

Twilight allowed her feet to carry her over to the bed and kneel before Sunset's bed. She grasped the pale amber hand and brought it to her face while tears dripped down her face in silent sobs. She whispered apology after apology to the unconscious form on the bed. As Twilight's sobs slowed, she felt a small squeeze on her hands. Looking up she saw a sliver of Sunset's cyan eyes locked onto hers, though it looked like she was fighting just to do that little.

"S-Sunset, Are you... Are you alright?

"...Tired...forgive you." came a reply as quiet as death.

"W-what do you m-mean?"

"Heard apology...not you're fault."

"I'm sorry this happened. If only I had known. I could've found a different way."

"...It's fine...need to hurry...portal...closes...soon."

"I wish there was a way for you to come back to Equestria with me. I never got to ask."

"...it's o-ok...cant...f-face Pr-incess Celestia."

Sunset was once again unconscious, the exchange barely lasting half a minute, and her grip on Twilights hand relaxed enough to allow Twilight to free herself without much struggle. Twilight leaned into Sunset's hand once more and wiped a few more tears before she looked behind her at Applejack. She was leaned back against the wall, her hat held weakly in her left hand uselessly. The others left the room sometime before Twilight and Sunset's conversation. Only Applejack remained solemnly.

"Applejack."

"Yea, Twi," her voice and eyes both holding the same pain.

"Would you be feeling up to driving me back to the portal?"

"Yea. What about the others? Do ya' want them to come with?"

"I-I would like that, but I understand if they want either go home or stay here. I won't force them to do something they don't want to."

"Well, alright. Ah'll head out first, while ya say yur last goodbyes."

With that, Applejack walked out into the hall, while leaving Twilight behind. She squeezed Sunset's hands one last time for what would be the last time in about two and a half years, as far as she knew. She breathed in a shuttering breath before she spoke so softly that even Fluttershy would be impressed.

"I'm sorry, Sunset. I have to go now. I wish I could've got to know the real you. The Sunset that was buried underneath all that anger. I feel like we could' be good friends. I hope you get well soon. Please, don't come to hate me and the girls. None of us thought that this would happen, least of all me. I'm sorry Sunset I've got to go."

Twilight rushed out of the room, overwhelmed by guilt as she raced down the hall to the sign marked stairs. Never did Twilight want magic more than right now. She wished to be able to teleport to the portal so that she might be able to seek comfort and advise from the Princess. If she could be told that everything would be alright from the Princess, then she knew that it'd be alright. The Princess never led her astray before and she wouldn't now.


Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie decided to stay at the hospital for as long as they could; while Twilight, Spike, Applejack, and Rainbow, mostly because she didn't know how to express the feeling she had at the moment, headed back to CHS. The drive had been quiet, all of them being in their own head as they processed the mess that was tonight. Only Spike seemed able to have processed and moved on as he tried, and mostly failed, to keep Twilight optimistic about the future of Sunset.

It was a relief to all when they pulled to the front of the school and parked in front of the statue. They all dismounted from Applejack's truck and made the depressing walk to the base of the Wondercolt Statue. Twilight clutched Spike with a firm grip and avoided looking at the gaping hole that Sunset had dragged herself out of. Before entering the portal, Twilight turned to face Applejack and Rainbow.

"Can I trust you all to look after her for me?"

"Course, Twi me and the girls will help her with anything that we can. Ah know Granny wouldn't mind making meals for her while she's at the hospital."

"Yeah, Twilight you don't have to worry at. After all, you've got one of the awesomest girls in the school watching over her for ya. Anyone wants to mess with Shimmer they haveta go through me first," Rainbow said as she punched her palm.

Twilight jumped forward and wrapped her arms around both of them. " Thank you. You don't know what this means to me."

"Okay okay. Can we stop now? You're squishing me Twilight," Spike complained, as he was at the center of said hug. The three had a brief giggle before they broke apart. Twilight and Spike then walked to the portal and touched the shimmering surface before they stepped through the doorway that'd be closed for the next two and a half years.


(Canterlot, Vice Principal Luna POV)

Vice Principal found a chair away from Sunset, she needed to think. It was overwhelming seeing the once strong girl, albeit manipulative, become so fragile that machines were the only thing that was keeping her alive at the moment. Though it wasn't just her physically that had become weak. It was her spirit, what used to be a firey unyielding spirit of anger and hate had become a meek and anxious one.

She had seen Sunset wake up and comfort Twilight. She could see the small details that Twilight most likely missed. She could see how Sunset brushed off any concern for herself and focused only on Twilight. She seemed unwilling to accept any concern and Luna could see self-loathing the girl held. After all, Luna saw that look every day she woke up and looked in the mirror.

If only she didn't get so jealous, so angry, maybe 'Tia could have had a kid of her own. She never should have gone out like that, drank what she did. She should have never gone back to her car, she should've never turned that key. She should have never ignored her sisters attempt to include her. It was her fault that 'Tia could never have a real family. 'Tia told her she'd never married due to never being able to give what both her and her partner what they wanted most. A child.

"There you are."

"Sister."

"Lu. What's the matter? You have that same look you had all those years ago."

"She has the same look as I do now."

"Who? Twilight? She'll get over it. She seems like a strong person. She won't let it affect her for too long."

"No. Not Miss Sparkle. I was speaking of Sunset. She's been 'purified', but she still holds much hate. Only it's directed at herself now rather than others. Much like I after the accident."

"I've told you Lu, I never hated you. I was too worried about you, I know that you never meant for anything that happened to me. I should have noticed that you felt left out. I should have made others be more accepting towards you. I couldn't sleep at the time that you were jailed. I couldn't help but think that it was my fault."

"No, sister. It was my fault. It was my car that crashed into yours. It was my car that hurt you. It was my fault that my sister can no longer have children. Meaning it was my punishment."

"It was my fault, and you took the consequence. I prayed that those thousand hours passed quickly. I missed you so much. It took me almost losing you to know the importance of family. It taught me that you can never say I love you enough."

"Sister, it wasn't all that bad. It was just community service."

"I know Lulu, but it must have been awful living in jail until those hours were up."

"I'll admit there were times that I missed you, but you came to visit often. So it wasn't as bad as it could have been and I love you as well 'Tia."

The two sisters embraced each other tenderly, while they did Luna began to think of the situation at hand. Luna had been thinking about it since she came to the hospital. If she went along with her plan, not only would it change her life but her sister's as well. It would change both of their lifestyles considerably, considering they lived together.

There were many problems with the plan. The expenses of the plan would be very high, and Luna would most likely have to tap into some of her inheritance. Being that her job was mostly a hobby due to her and 'Tia's parents having a large company, and their grandmother being royalty. She wasn't hurting for money, but the bills would definitely take a bit of her money that was set aside. Along with the changes to the house and school to allow for the plan and its changes to become successful.

The next would be the possible backlash of the plan. The backlash would come from both parents and students alike if they ever found out about it. Many things would have to be kept under wraps, and only a select few would know as a means to help if it was needed. Her family would need to be given a heads up, so they could give her their permission to be able to attend this Thanksgiving family reunion.

The last flaw in this plan would be being accepted by the one that its most directly involving. If they didn't accept, then this plan would all be for naught. Though the first obstacle to this would be getting 'Tia to accept her proposal. She didn't have a strong argument if it came to it, all she had was her empathy toward the person she was going to fight for.

"I have something to ask sister."

Luna and Celestia looked at each other in the eyes. They blinked surprise after saying the same as the other.

"You go first, Lulu. Mine can wait."

"Y-Yes, sister, you probably won't like what I'm about to ask. However, I must digress that I won't allow you to say no, I'll move out if that is what it takes. I don't wish for that, but I will if I must. So you have to take what I'm about to say at face value and must think about this serious sister."

"Of course, Luna. What is it that you need?"

"I wish-no I want to adopt Sunset Shimmer into our family. I wish to become her legal mother. If you could help me, I'd greatly appreciate it."

Celestia looked extremely uncomfortable, with what Luna had just asked for. It was definitely surprising to say the least, as Luna had made it abundantly clear that she didn't want children. Always stating that she got enough kid memories from her job. That and she wasn't exactly a role model for any future kids as she preferred playing online video games and being a recluse in her spare time.

"Luna- I... don't know what to say."

"Please, 'Tia it would be my only wish. It probably has something to do with what happened before she came here. Sunset has for the past three years, if she ever had a problem, a real problem, she'd come to me. Me, one of the most feared authority figure in the school, out of all the other teachers or even you, she came to me. It's something that has baffled me for the past three years, and now, now I have found that reason. In some way or form, we're connected to each other. She'll have the same problems that I had with my redemption.

"I'll be able to help her through all that pain because I'll be one of the only people that'll understand her. So please, Tia give me a chance to save a child's life. It's not much, but maybe then you'll forgive me for taking your children's life."

"Look, Luna, the only reason I don't know what to say is, I wanted to ask you the same thing. It would seem we have much to speak about."


Twilight Sparkle walked through the portal on two hooves. She stumbled slightly before she plopped down on four hooves. In the room were the princesses and her friends. The crown was placed in her satchel, she shuffled forward as her friends rushed towards her.

"Twilight," Fluttershy exclaimed quietly.

"You're back," Rainbow Dash said flying up to her face.

"Where's your crown?" asked Rarity.

"It's in my satchel," Twilight explained, barely stopping herself from crying in anguish.

"I knew you could do it," Pinkie Pie said suddenly hugging her.

"Oh we were so worried," Applejack had tears in her eyes.

"Sunset Shimmer is she alright?" Princess Celestia asked.

Twilight flinched away slightly at the question. She backed up until she bumped the mirror slightly. Just as Spike came shooting out of the mirror and pushed Twilight a step forward. She was shaking like a leaf, and her bangs covered her eyes from the rest of the group. Twilight was biting her lip trying to find the words to reply to her mentor's question.

She wrapped her hoof around her leg, she felt as though she was falling apart. She thought she could do this, but she didn't account the amount of guilt she felt into her explanation. Twilight was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't notice tears running down her cheeks, nor did she notice when Spike walked forward and placed a clawed hand on her leg.

"I've left her in good hooves..." Twilight managed to tell.

"Oh, that's wonderful. You had me worried when you didn't answer my question immediately."

"There's more... while she's safe with the ones I trusted. She's far from alright."

"Wha-what do you mean, my faithful student?"

"I'm sorry, Princess Celestia. Due to the circumstances, the magic from the Element ended up corrupting Sunset when she wore the crown. After some struggle me and the girls ended up getting magic from the element. We used it on the transformed Sunset. While we saved her, she was hurt, bad. From the exams that the doctors could do, they...they...they believe that Sunset will n-never be able to walk again."

After the confession, Twilight broke into tears as she fell to the tiled floors in a sobbing mess. Her friends and Cadence, who had been silent up until now, were shocked to hear what had happened to Princess Celestia's former student. They rushed to comfort Twilight as Princess Celestia stood unmoving from her spot. Princess Luna wrapped a wing around her sister's body.

"It's unfortunate what has happened to my sister's former student. Though it makes sense as to why this happened," Princess Luna spoke in an attempt to comfort her sister.

"What...*sniffle... what do you mean, Princess Luna."

"Well, you see the Elements of Harmony are relics that store great magic. Together they perform awe-inspiring feats, for instance, the lord of chaos, Discord was put in stone, the darkness in my heart was pushed out. However, if alone they have far worse consequences. For you see while the six together are strong, they act as a dampener. They more or less weaken the magic fired at its target."

"Weaken the magic? Then why do we use them together? If they are stronger on their own it makes sense to use them separate than together?" Rainbow questioned.

"Simple, it's in the name. The elements individually are just pillars, but together they create a palace as they fill in everything else."

"Right."

"The elements of kindness and honesty allow ponies to see their past mistakes and to learn from them. Generosity and loyalty show the possible ways to fix and become an ally with the elements. While laughter shows the pony the good memories that it experienced. Magic makes it all possible, however, you didn't have the others making your element strongest of them all. It's most likely what happened to that of Sunset Shimmer. It had nothing holding it back, magic is a tool it isn't inherently evil or good. It is here to be used."

The news shocked all that listened, Twilight and Princess Celestia were still stuck within their own grief. Princess Celestia walked out of Princess Luna's embrace and made her way out to the hallway. She allowed her hooves to take her where they wanted, all while Twilight's words echoed in her head. She soon found herself at the balcony overlooking the crystal city. She looked upon the stars that her sister helped to create. As she watched the stars twinkle, she spotted a shooting star. She was enraptured by the star streaking across the sky. She remembered the time before she started to be hard on Sunset.

It was a night much like this one, but there was going to be a shower of lucky stars. As they enjoyed watching the nighttime spectacle she couldn't help but remember when she told Luna to look for them. She wondered if Luna was looking for lucky stars like she taught her to all those years ago. It was that train of thought that caused Celestia to fold in on herself. It was her fear of losing those close to her that caused her to realise that she'd become too close to Sunset. If Sunset was to betray her she'd be destroyed. She had to remember that she was the teacher and the princess, she couldn't allow herself to become too attached with Sunset. She lost her patience that night with Sunset, which resulted in losing a part of herself.

It was after Sunset ran to the mirror when Celestia realised that it was her thoughts that caused her to lose both Sunset and her patience. She was overwhelmed with guilt much like when she banished Luna, she was the cause of losing both of the people that were the closest to her heart. She lost her sister because of her blindness and the one she considered her daughter was lost from her fear. When she lost Sunset she swore she wouldn't make the same mistake again, especially when she found one of Sunset's journals. When she read the journal she couldn't hold back the tears and wished for a second chance so that she could adopt Sunset officially and not just in her heart. It was two months later that she took Twilight as her personal student, the hurt of not having someone almost unbearable.

There were two reasons she took Twilight as her student, three if she was being honest with herself. The first being Twilight's cutie mark, the element of magic as a cutie mark was surely a sign of her potential. The second being her uncontrollable amounts of raw magic. The last and most selfish of reasons was Twilight reminded her of Sunset. Celestia thought she could have a second chance, but this time she'd be more involved and patient with her newest student. She hoped and that Sunset would return to her and Celestia could have a chance at reconciling with the pony that she came to think of as her daughter.

She gazed upon the sky above her, silently hoping for anything to give her advice. She felt numb even more so than when Luna was sent to the moon. She searched the stars looking at each one as if trying to gain the knowledge from their long existence. She barely registered another Pony''s presence, a small glance towards the pony revealed the newly crowned Twilight. She looked up at the sky, looking for what Celestia suspected she was doing. Together they both looked at the sky, looking for answers to their toughest questions. Celestia reached out with her wing and pulled Twilight closer to her side, Celestia's sister and Twilight's friends found them sitting on the balcony staring at the sky with wings wrapped around each other. Their cheeks were wet from the constant tears that leaked from their eye not that any of the two noticed. None of them spoke any words of comfort. They knew that nothing could make this situation alright, despite desperately wanting it to be.