“Ladies and Gentlecolts,” Prince Silverlight announced over the train’s intercom. “We are pulling into our final scheduled stop before returning home. Keep in mind while we have “slack” in the rules and regulations placed upon us at other towns in the NCR, they will not tolerate any deviation from the accords in the capitol.
“I would like to remind you that all melee weapons are to be left aboard, or peace bonded into their scabbards. Your weapon should be loaded with a maximum of ten rounds across all your magazines, and is to be left on safe. Nopony is allowed to be in a group larger than three individuals, and you may not visit any locations other than the market, firing range, Council Chamber, and the market restaurants.
“Furthermore, as I have been told there was another incident regarding so called ‘provocative language’ and a jockstrap on our last delivery to this charming city, nopony is to speak to anypony else save for official business purposes. Should anyone cause trouble, they will answer to me instead of Captain Commissioner. Good luck.”
I shivered in my seat. Well… That bodes well. Also, again with the officer names. Poor colts.
As the train’s brakes squealed and we slowly came to a stop, I mentally braced myself for horribleness of the Tenpony kind.
Wander gently tapped my shoulder. “Hey, it’s not all that bad here. The NCR’s senate just hates the Pegans. Bad blood, old history.”
“Should I know why?” I asked with a worried wince.
Wander pursed her lips then nodded. “Short version: Just after the Herd broke from the NCR they tried to broker a deal for weapons and ammo to clear out the lands to the west the Gardens didn’t clean up. You know, where they had chosen to settle. The NCR thought they wanted those weapons for war, and tried to force Los Pegasus to join the NCR.
“It... didn’t go over well. The Herd sent troops to force the NCR away from the city. The NCR sent more troops. Trenches were dug, fortifications made, someone on one side or the other shot someone, and the first border skirmish between the NCR and Herd hit the fan like a four month old latrine.”
“Oh…” I drew in a long breath and recoiled at my own realization. “As a trade city, that means they couldn’t trade anything for months. They may have a stockpile of stuff, but the fact they trade for anything at all means they have something they need.”
Wander nodded. “That’s right. So, after four months of trench warfare on his lawn, the Prince, unable to negotiate a ceasefire as neither side would talk to the other, announced that both armies had an hour to leave his territory as they were no longer welcome. Neither side budged, and they kept fighting. So the Pegans opened fire from the city’s walltop with heavy weapons, and all the other nasty toys they have laying around, indiscriminately mowing down everypony who didn’t flee… Which wasn’t very many of them, to be honest. Most ponies realized they were being shot at by several hundred snipers using HEAP rounds and legged it real quick, orders be damned.”
“Oh…” I bit my lip. “Sooo, they won't be mad at me for coming into town on their train, will they?”
Wander shook her head. “Nah, they love stuff that arrives by train…” Then she paused. “Well, maybe a little? The ponies here are weird. I think the vestiges of civilization gets into ponies in the wrong way. You know, when you have some, but not all the trappings of civilization. It just… gets ponies acting wrong.”
I looked out the window at Junction town and compared it to the Townships of Lith. It certainly seemed to be a civilized place. There were paved streets, made from what looked like gravel embedded in mortar. I could see dozens, maybe even hundreds of buildings, mostly homes, with a scattering of large four story buildings which might have been some form of communal dwellings. Everything was made from old train cars, new timber, and quarried stone.
It certainly looked like a civilized place. Especially with the dozens of ponies I could see teeming around the train. Presumably lining up for the market that was sure to be set up around the train.
I turned back to Wander. “Uh… How is this not civilization?”
Wander stared deadpan into my eyes. “It’s a democracy governing about ten little settlements which by the standards of my time are too small and too lacking in resources and amenities to be classified as lesser hamlets. Sure they have fancy hats and a flag, but they aren’t a continent spanning empire led by an immortal queen who prefers you call it a kingdom and her a princess because she’s honestly just that humble and ruled by a hoof, backed by thousands of years of history, tradition, and culture, over a nation where the largest city is home to tens of millions, and the average village is home to thousands. And here they are, holding a senate and writing laws, as if they can enforce them when they can’t even deliver the mail half the time.”
Oh… They couldn’t deliver mail? That couldn’t be true!
”Hon? Remember that talisman? You, or any other Lithan courier, would have gotten it there no problem. On time too. You wouldn’t have followed a predictable route, the ambush wouldn’t have occured, and the town would have had it’s water.”
Fair!
My ears slowly drooped down as I gave her a feeble smile. “Heh… S— Sometimes I forget that you were alive back then.”
Wander smirked, then leaned into whisper into my ear. “Like you weren’t? Also, haven’t you been alive in some form since the bronze age? You should know what civilization is too.”
I coughed into my hoof and whispered back. “To be fair, for most of my life I was a windmill. Then I spent a hundred years or so as a beautiful pocket watch. Then I was the ship-component you’re aware of. I uh… I know crushing wheat into flower, the inside of an enchanter’s pockets, the open ocean… And—” I swept a hoof towards the window for emphasis. “This.”
“Ah,” Wander said with a slow nod. “Well… This isn’t civilization. Yet. Give them a few more generations to get things built up. I’m not saying I hold the state of the world against them or anything. It’s just, well, I can’t call this civilized living. They don’t even have indoor toilets! In their capital! I mean, come on!”
I started to nod when Wander leaned in again. “Your zebra half was around, in Equestria… You should seriously try to resolve that whole ‘I can’t be two things’ problem. I’m pretty sure if you did you’d either remember her life, or be able to talk to her. Either or. Not sure…”
I blinked. “Wait, are you still seeing souls?”
Wander sighed and closed her eyes. “Yes… it’s starting to freak me out a bit. I can see this other pony inside everypony else. It’s usually at least a little different from them. It’s like seeing two ponies in the same place.”
“Ooo,” I hissed and did my best to think of any possible antidote. “That’s got to be diff—”
“Then, I look at Speed,” Wander said as she gave Speed a gentle nudge with an elbow.
Speed eeped. “Uh, what about me?” her ears drooped as a look of pure despair took over her face. “Oh no! I look like a monster, don’t I?”
“Nope!” Wander said, shaking her head firmly.
Speed squeaked. “I— I don’t have one?”
“You do. It’s exactly. The bucking. Same. Just her mane is even nicer, like she got to shampoo it. That’s it!” Wander said with a huff. “But everypony else is different… And it’s weirding me out!”
Speed blinked. “I— I’m what with shampoo?”
“You're just a slightly cleaner you who had time to take care of her mane this morning. Everypony else is someone else. It’s weird!” Wander said with a shiver.
Odd… I had no idea what that could mean and it was definitely going to bother me. But not as much as… Well…
I cleared my throat. “What about when you look at yourself?”
Wander closed her eyes tightly and hissed. “D— Do I have to tell you? This is the part that’s freaking me out the most...”
I nodded, realized she couldn't see my nod, and then said, “Yes.”
Wander sighed angrily and opened her eyes. “Fine… I see me, but like, when I was a young mare. So, you know, hot. I’ve got my glasses too, which is kind of weird, but then you’ve got your wheelchair, and Speed’s got all of the guns, so I guess souls can have items?”
“Wait,” I said as my eyes narrowed suspiciously. “You’re our sniper.”
“Kinda?” Wander said with a frown. “I mean, I’m not that good of a marksmare. But I suppose I’ve been doing that for you. Why?”
“You need glasses, and don’t have them… But I have seen you read, so you’re not nearsighted,” I continued, staring into her red eyes as I tried to figure out how exactly they could be miscalibrated.
Wander laughed. “No. No. No. My distance vision is fine. I used to have a medical condition where I needed tinted lenses to prevent migraines. Caused small hallucinations, like text floating around a page. Apparently ghoulification is a... cure for that. Heh.”
Speed blinked. “Ohhhh! So you wore glasses all of the time, and probably loved them since they helped you feel good and stuff, right?”
Wander’s ears perked and pushed her hood up. “Hey! That might be it! If you love something enough that it’s basically a part of y—”
Wander stopped mid sentence as she and I stared at Speed’s mini-armory which she still had lashed to her back.
Her ears drooped back. “They make bad ponies go away forever… Don’t judge me!” Speed said with a trembling lip.
I closed my eyes for a moment and did my best to think of something, anything, that might explain exactly what was going on with Wander’s magic. It’s like she’d absorbed the effects of the poison and well… integrated them.
I wasn’t sure if I’d ever heard of anything like that happening.
I reached out and put a hoof on Wander’s shoulder. “I’ll try and figure out why this is happening, okay? And if I can’t, then I’m sure somepony in Lith will be able to help you.”
Wander nodded. “Thanks…”
“Hey, you girls should get out and stretch your hooves,” Vantapink said from the seat in front of us.
My ears perked up. “Eep! I have to deliver the radio!”
“Also that,” the pegan soldier added. “I, uh, I mean all of you though. After this stop it’s a solid to day drive all the way back home. Two whole days of sitting on your plot with too many others around to like, be with your coltfriend since you’re not allowed to stay in the same stupid train car. So, yeah…”
I nodded and stood up as Speed and Wander scooted into the isle and began to trot out of the train. Remembering Prince Silverlight’s instructions about weapons for his troopers, and realizing I was going to the capitol building of the NCR to deliver a letter, I reluctantly removed my battle saddle and set it down on my seat, then frowned.
I turned to look at Vantapink and asked, “Will Feature and my saddle be safe here?”
To my surprise, she saluted. “It will be an honor to guard the Machine’s weapon, ma’am!”
“Oh, err… thanks! I’ll be back for it as soon as I can be. I don’t want to cause you any inconveni—”
She winked at me. “Honestly? I appreciate the excuse to stay on the train. Ponies say I look almost exactly like Miss Pinkie Pie. Last time I was here a lot of the townsponies thought I was her reincarnation and… Well… I’m super not! I don’t want that kinda party this time, so staying on the train? Well, thanks for the excuse!”
I nodded as I gave her an understanding sympathetic look and scooched out into the aisle. “Thank you.”
“No problem!”
As we stepped out of the car, I couldn’t help but notice that Junction Town was surrounded by what seemed like endless fields of wheat. It was nice to see they had their own food supply. Not just for trade purposes, but, well… I could hear foals playing, and smell meals being cooked.
Ponyville had been nice and lively, but it felt like a place in progress. Junction town felt like a home. Not just a home, a city!
They had multi story buildings, security checkpoints, armored soldiers just standing around talking, and a big domed building towering over everything I could see. But more important than that, dotting the skyline were encamped guns on the roofs of various buildings. A few looked like AA guns.
Junction Town lacked a wall, but it was well fortified. It was protected. It was safe here. This was a place ponies lived, and had lived for a long time.
This was somepony’s home. A proper home. Not just a place ponies were eeking out a meager existence together. Not some stuffy remnant of the old world like Tenpony. Not just a farming village like Sire’s hollow. This was a place! A proper place!
I turned to give Wander my best raised eyebrow of incredulity. “Are you sure this isn’t civilization?”
Wander nodded, paused, then shrugged her shoulders. “Well… Maybe by Pre-Classical Era standards. It’ll be fun to watch this develop, but right now? I don’t like it. I do like most of the individual towns on their own, though.”
I smiled and took a few steps away from the train, assuming the giant domed building must be the capitol building.
“Miss Gears!” Prince Silverlight called out to me.
I turned around to see the Prince running for me at a half-galop.
“Is something wrong?” I asked as he stopped a few steps from me.
He shook his head. “Not at all. I only wished to make sure you understood the procedure. We are due to wait here in town for three days, holding a general market and waiting for buyers of specific goods to show up.”
I winced slightly. “I uh… Three days?”
He nodded. “Indeed. I am quite aware of you and your special someponies inability to not have private conversations in the middle of a crowded train car, and take it as given that you are used to a great deal more privacy. As you are my guests, and we are sadly far from my home where I could provide proper accommodations and hospitality, I would like to offer to put the three of you up in the hotel of your choosing until we are ready to depart.”
My ears lay back in horror as I realized just how many times we in fact, had very private conversations on the train...
Wander’s ears perked. “I— I’d like that, actually. Those bus seats are about two hundred times harder than I remember.”
“Well, they are two hundred years old,” Silverlight said with a chuckle. “Replacing useable seats is quite a low priority, I am afraid.”
I looked over to speed. “Would you like to sleep in a hotel? Or uh, I mean... wait in a hotel?”
Speed frowned. “What’s a hotel?”
“A place with short-term rental private quarters,” Wander answered with a smirk.
“Oh! Like a barracks? Sure. There’ll be enough room to clean my guns,” Speed said happily.
I turned back to SIlverlight. “Thank you for the offer. We accept.”
“Excellent!” Silverlight said, a slip of papers emerging from under his cloak in the golden glow of his magic. “Take these.”
I took the papers from his magic’s grip and looked at them, then up at him in surprise. “Blank IOUs?”
“Scripts,” SIlverlight corrected. “We use them for handling transactions with the NCR directly. Everypony in this city will accept them as they can be exchanged for goods or caps at our caravans. We typically use these to pay for goods.”
“Why not use caps?” Wander asked with a frown.
“Simply put, Miss Wander, there are no longer enough physical caps to suit the needs of three growing nations. We each have more resources than the physical currency in our possessions can represent. Therefore, those papers are a fair medium of exchange for larger values. Besides, do you want to actually carry a bag filled with ten thousand caps to pay for a crate of mortar shells?”
Speed giggled. “No… But I want the shells.”
“Precisely! Therefore, scripts,” Silverlight said with a nod.
“Yes,” I said slowly. “But, they are blank.”
“Yes. What of it?” Silverlight asked me, a deep frown somehow audible.
I waved the scripts in his face. “Oh, I don’t know. I could buy millions of caps worth of stuff and empty your vault on, I don’t know, um… A thousand toasters for mom!”
Silverlight threw his head back and laughed. “You could certainly try, Miss Gears! You could certainly try.”
I raised an eyebrow in his direction. “Do you really trust me that much?”
“I do,” SIlverlight said with a nod. “I have heard what you have done for many people and communities.”
He cleared his throat and leaned in towards me to speak more quietly. “Additional, I know you are quite the professional. You and your companions may use one of those to book any room of your choosing for the length of our stay in town. The other two, I would ask you to think of as payment for vendors who have packages I have placed orders for.”
I frowned. “Wait, you want me to pick up orders for you?”
Silverlight shook his head. “Not quite. While the ponies here will trade with me, they will not necessarily give me the best prices, nor access to all of their goods. I would like you, as a pony who isn’t associated with me, to peruse the local market and purchase any books you may happen across for me. Spell books, in particular. The other scripts are to pay for any you may find. Don't worry about the amount. Los Pegasus is good for it.”
“What if we find a spellbook being sold for several million caps?” Wander asked with a roll of her eyes. “Come on, there has to be an actual limit to the amount you’re willing to let us spend for you.”
Silverlight chuckled. “Miss Wander, have you seen my armor?”
Wander frowned and shook her head. “I don’t think so? That cloak is very good at covering you up.”
“Yes, I had it enchanted for that precise purpose,” Silverlight said before drawing back his cloak enough to show the silver plated, gold trimmed armor beneath his cloak… And the massive gold and bronze sun-crest in the center of his breastplate. “This is a normal set of T-50a power armor you will find on any Steel Ranger or Applejack’s Ranger. It was plated in silver and trimmed in gold. Given to me as a gift six years ago. As a birthday present from my court.”
My jaw dropped. So did Wander’s. “E— Excuse me?!” We stammered.
Silverlight let his cloak drop back down. “We have provided the wasteland with ammunition for hundreds of years. Think for a moment on how many shell casings alone we have created and distributed. Think of the hundreds of thousands of tons of brass littering the wasteland, and then remember that most of it came from us. I assure you, depleting our wealth by simply purchasing a few small items here and there is not possible. So please, buy any books you come across. We have things. We have ponies. We lack knowledge. It is worth any price. Indeed, should you find any spellbook valued at ‘millions of caps’, I’d be disappointed if you did not snatch it up!”
I nodded solemnly. “I understand. I was raised in a library… I’ll have to remember to fill out an application for you so you can get a library card when I get home.”
“W— Wait? You have a active library?” Silverlight stammered.
I felt a grin spread across my face. Ha! Take that mister money bags! Who’s wealthy now?
I nodded twice. “Mhm! Did you think we kept technical knowledge via oral tradition, or something?”
“Quite frankly, yes,” Silverlight said with a laugh. “I am glad to see otherwise… Now, please. Get to the market before too many ponies see you with me. I know they have hidden arcane knowledge from me before.”
I nodded, tucked the three blank scripts into my saddlebag, and trotted off towards the big dome-like building in the distance.
“Here’s hoping they’ll even see me,” I said as I waved to Silverlight over my shoulder. “Not sure they'll want to see a random zebra mare…”
After all, Bluegrass told me to get letters from every NCR settlement, wait for a week, and so on and so forth. I’d done… Precisely none of that.
He chuckled. “I am certain things are not as dire as they seem. Farewell!”
I smiled and continued to walk away with Speed and Wander flanking me. I wished I had his confidence.
We walked down the paved road, past a few small homes made from one or two train cars welded together, which had actual lawns when Wander suddenly said. “Since those scripts are for our room and stuff for our Pegan friends, we’ll probably want some more caps if we want to get ourselves anything from the largest market this side of the Celestial River.”
“Oh… Are you going to put on a show?” I asked hopefully.
It would be wonderful to hear her play again! It was sort of hard for her to do that while we were on the road.
“I have to do something while you’re fighting the bureaucratic menace,” Wander said with a shudder.
My ears drooped back. “You could go with me for moral support…”
Wander shook her head firmly. “Buck no! You have no idea how angry the ponies in charge here make me. Back when Gawd was president it was different, but now? With Reggie in charge?” She shivered almost violently. “Not everypony can get a group of ponies to behave, and that’s when it’s just friends hanging out. Once you get power and wealth involved? Well… Let’s just say later today you’ll probably understand why I use democracy as a pejorative.”
Speed snorted. “Oh, come, on! We had lots of democratic allies during the war! Like the minotaurs.”
Wander shook her head. “No, Minos was a Tribal Council. Everyone who sat on that council inherited the position from their father. Power was either hereditary, or given to you by someone who already had it thought you were the right person to take over for them. In a democracy literally everyone in the nation squabbles over power like colts fighting over a toy.”
I winced. “That… That is a pretty specific example. What happened?”
“I tried to help a small town get help from the NCR once,” Wander sighed. “Look, Gears, I’m sorry. I really can’t help you. I’d probably do something stupid, like threaten to shoot one of their representatives or whatever they call them. So, I’m going to go to the market, put on a show, get us some caps, and check out the market for anything useful.”
I nodded and flicked my tail. “W— Well okay… I wish you’d go with me though.”
“I promise I’ll go with you to see any other leaders. Just not these... ‘leaders’,” Wander said firmly.
Speed hummed and looked back and forth between us. “Sooo… If Wander is afraid she might threaten their leaders, should I avoid them too?”
Wander snorted and smirked. “As much as I think a lot of ponies would love for those windbags to die horribly, let’s avoid that. You come with me.”
“Concert?” Speed eed hopefully.
I nodded in agreement. “Yeah… That’s probably for the best.”
We walked down the road quietly for a few more minutes. In spite of how nervous Wander had just made me, I still couldn’t help but love Junction Town. Some of the houses had fenced yards! Each block we walked through had a big fountain of fresh water bubbling up from it. Not quite the indoor plumbing we enjoyed in Lith, but still very nice!
Extremely nice… Actually,now that I thought about it, everything here aside from the old train car homes looked nice and new. Crudely made, and definitely all hoof work without power tools. But new.
Buildings were painted in the same shades as Ponyville had been. Some places had glass windows. Buck, there were even storm drains in the street, meaning the town had an actual sewage system!
Thinking back a few weeks, the town of Two Bits had been in essence a junk yard arranged into homes. Two Bits. The place which supplied a critical resource for every ghoul in the NCR. Maybe Wander was right… That reeked of corruption. And neglect.
The street opened up into a huge plaza built on an old railway turntable, the kind used to turn several train cars around at once. The tracks had long since been removed, but there was no mistaking the perfect circular shape, or the fact that suddenly we were standing on ancient wood instead of a paved street, or the way the streets going to and from the turntable corresponded with the old railroads on my map.
The market’s edge was where all of the permanent shops were located. I could see general stores, specialty shops, even a few restaurants! The middle of the turntable was occupied by kiosks and booths. It sort of looked like somepony had taken Two Bit’s market and put it in the middle of a ring of proper shops, so the booths could fight to the death for the honor of receiving a storefront.
The ring was only broken by the streets… and the entrance to the yard of the massive dome-like building which I could now tell was definitely the capitol building.
Now that I was closer I could tell it wasn’t really a dome. It was more like someone took a 20 sided die, cut it in half, and stuck it to the ground. It was definitely post-war too; I couldn’t see anypony pre-war deciding it was a good idea to make a not-quite-dome like that out of wood when steel was available and knew what the phrases “structural integrity” and “maximum sustained load rating” meant.
The entrance to the building was an archway set into a tall wall guarded by a dozen ponies. I could see a nice yard past the guards. It had flowers, and even a hedge.
Why in the world was the entrance directly through the market? Was it like a gift shop to an old museum? Get all the petitioners to buy something on the way out to remember their visit?
Wander cleared her throat and pointed to the entrance. “Good luck. We’ll set up wherever they let us. Come on, Speed… You know my old songs. Can you play anything?”
Speed’s ears perked up. “I am amazing on the keytar! Everypony in the Dream Pod said so!”
Wander halted for a moment and face-hoofed, before continuing. “I think I have one of those in my bag. Let’s do a demo before a performance. It would be cool to have a backup track.”
I gave Wander a quick little hug and a worried look. “I— I really hope it’s not as bad as you said it would be.”
She smiled. “Hey, you survived Tenpony. This should be cake!” her smile melted into a thousand yard stare of hatred. “Horrible. Gross. Hearthswarming fruitcake.”
I shivered. The abomination known as fruitcake had been written of in many a history book as a weapon of mass toilet destruction, and the scourge of all plumbers. It was banned in Lith as a precaution, just in case we ever get fruit… Or cake...
“Thanks. That really gives me confidence and hope,” I said, hoping I sounded sarcastic enough.
Wander blinked in surprise. “Huh. Well… Good! See you later, hon. Come on, Speed. Let’s roll!”
”Wow. That was the worst sarcasm I’ve ever heard. That sounded completely ernest, hon. It takes talent to fail that hard. Good job!”
I flicked my tail in irritation and began to make my way across the market towards the capitol, refusing to dignify imaginary dad with a response.
It felt so weird to be alone. Being stuck on the landtrain with nearly fifty ponies definitely had me back in civilization mode. Even if I ignored that, I’d been with Wander for a week now, and I’d only spent maybe three days alone total before that.
Normally, I was fine being alone. I liked it. It’s why I chose to be a mail pony.
Well, that and walking was just super awesome! I could move my legs, and use that to actually go places! That was another thing which had been bothering me for the last few days. Forget the lack of privacy, not being able to get up and move was just… nearly torture!
Wait a minute… Wander said the mare who became my soul was in a wheelchair.
I frowned and slowed down. Was that part of me and how I felt because of her? That would make sense. Being immobile had never bothered me before I was put into this body…
Put into this body. Along with her.
Was that the right way to say it? Was that what really happened, or had we merged?
I stopped next to a kiosk made from old milk crates which was selling jerky. I wasn't sure how or why I noticed what it was selling. I had a question to answer.
Wander was right. I wanted to be a zebra. A real one. This life was wonderful. I wanted it so hard I’d neglected nearly everything machine-spirity I could do for years. Decades, even.
But… I wasn’t all there was in me, was I?
Celestia that is a weird thought to have, but it’s true. Somewhere in me is the remnants of a zebra mare who apparently really really wanted to be a machine. Probably because she couldn’t walk, or talk, and getting a mechanical body would mean she could do those things. She’d have been happy to give up being organic for a body that worked.
Like mom, come to think of it. Her body did work, but her insanity prevented her from seeing that.
I frowned sharply as I tried to put myself into the horseshoes of a pony like mom.
“Uh… Can I help you?” A griffon asked.
I jumped, eyes widening as I realized I’d been staring blankly at a poor rust colored griffon. “Ah! What? I um… Sorry, I was thinking about… things.”
The griffon nodded slowly. “Okay… Can you do that while looking at anything other than my soul, please?”
I blushed and nodded shyly and began to trot away. “Sorry!”
Okay… I was thinking about a thing… Where was I?
”You were about to realize that a pony doesn't have to be just one thing. Please realize that already. Your subconscious complains about that way too much.”
Oh. Sorry, dad. I— Wait a minute! You’re imaginary. If it annoys you, that means I can hear her, I just haven't been paying attention!
”Y— Yeah… That’s entirely correct, sweetie.” Imaginary dad said with a weird sadness to his voice.
I closed my eyes to concentrate and thought hard, deciding to push some of my magic towards my mind to try and help things along. Hey! Hey, uh… Zebra me? Can you... hear me?
<About bucking time,> I said— No! I signed to myself. Without thinking or pretending or anything. <I have so many things to complain to us about. Firstly, why do we have a laser on only one of our eyes? I feel two is pretty necessary at their current rate of fire. Also, I prefer “subconscious” as a name not “Zebra me”. We’re a robozeeb! Which is really, really, really cool! Deal with it!>
Wait… If you’re my— Uh, our subconscious, how can we talk consciously?
<Easy! It’s because I’m also you. Just as you are also me. You’re just burning mana to give our subconscious a voice, and that just so happens to be mostly made of her memories. That’s how the metaphysics of this works!. Spirit-Soul fusions are not remotely new things. You know this.>
We're not unique? I said to myself as I stopped mid-step again. B— but I thought—
<We're unique in that we're only like… 90% merged. Fusing a spirit and a zebra makes what the empire called warlocks. You know, the spellcasters the empire fielded?>
I shook my head and continued towards the gate. I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about. The only Zebrican magic users I am aware of are Shamen.
<Shamen are what they mostly used, yes, but at best their magic takes minutes to cast. Warlocks are the zebra equivalent to a wizard, only way, way more rare than unicorns. It takes a… certain kind of person to want to merge with another being like this. We’re lucky Jasmine was one of them. You’d know that if you could consciously access her memories. Which is another thing I would like to complain about, actually. May I?>
I turned to avoid walking into a pole somepony had very rudely placed in just the right place for a slightly more preoccupied me to plow snoot first into.
<Thank you for not hitting that pole.>
That wasn’t you?
<No. Also yes. Look, just think of what you’re doing now as accessing normally locked memories and we’ll both be happier.>
AH HA! I mentally exclaimed while breaking out into a huge grin. We’re both! You are a separate person!
I felt exasperation well up out of nowhere. <Barely. Jasmine’s half makes up our personality, mode of speech, and orientation. Uh… Whatever the spirit’s name was, it makes up our skillset, memories, and derpness.>
I bit my lips and walked around a mare who was standing in the road while she talked to a friend. Well… You are me, and you can’t tell anypony… I raised an eyebrow as a realization hit me. Hold on! You can’t access my old memories?
I felt some embarrassment deep down, like if I had recalled doing something incredibly foolish in full view of others long, long ago. <Heh… heh… Well… No. We’ve got problems with that. It’s mom’s fault. We’re half soul-spirit merge, half shitty soul jar. Frankly, we shouldn’t exist. Uh, in an sane state, at least.>
I nodded to myself and kept moving, trying not to run into anypony as I focused on this moment of literal self discovery. Oh. Well, uh, in that case in Equish the other spirits called me Sleeping Kitten. That’s the rough translation of the town where I used to be a windmill.
<Cute!>
I checked to make sure the path ahead of me was clear before focusing back on, uh… me? What exactly was she? She felt separate from me, but also not.
So… Who were you? I asked carefully.
I felt deeply uncomfortable all of a sudden. Like if mom had materialized in the bus stop Wander and I shared a week ago. <Just a lonely mare who wanted to be anypony else…>
I told you my old name, I pressed. Fair is fair!
<Can we settle on please just calling me our subconscious?>
I shook my head. No. You can have different opinions and clearly know stuff I don’t. You need a name, and you should absolutely tell me if you’d like to do something so I can take your wishes into account and—
I facehooved and groaned into my frog. <I made us do that. If I want something, you want it too.>
But I felt like I did— I moved my hoof away for a moment so I could facehoof once again. Ohhhh… I understand now! I still think you should have a name though. Which means you think you should have a name too.
I was quiet for a long moment, which let me safely navigate around a water barrel which I was pretty sure I’d have run into if she or I had been talking. This was taking a surprising amount of concentration! It was like meditation, but more so.
<Dammit,> She signed at last. <You’re right. We clearly think of me as separate, and as the fragment that I am. Okay. Fine. Call me Jasmine Tea. That was her name.>
I walked around a stall and looked up to try and see how much longer I had before reaching the gate to the capitol. Not much longer. Maybe a minute.
Soooo… Is there anything you’d like for us to do?
<Yes! Walk up to Vinyl Scratch—>
I stopped mid-step and wished I could stare at myself. “Scratch? She never told me her last name! How do you know that?”
<Oh um… Yeah…> I felt an odd sort of embarrassment deep down in the back of my mind. <We used to listen to her music a lot. Old and new!>
I took a deep breath for emphasis, then let it out, startling the mare tending the stall next to me. I offered her an apologetic smile. “Sorry… Working something out in my head.”
She nodded and offered me a little smile. “Colt problems?”
“Mare problems,” I corrected.
She blushed. “Oh! Well, I hope you two resolve things. Have a nice day.”
I smiled back. “Thanks, miss!”
She was nice! I said to Jasmine.
<Yes.>she replied. <She was also cute. We should go back and flirt a little…>
Yeah! We totally— I narrowed my eyes and took advantage of a kinda shiny metal breastplate being sold at a nearby booth to glare at myself. Hey! You’re deflecting the question. How did you know what Wander’s last name was?
<Oh! Fine… Yes, I’ve known who she is this whole time. If you could access her memories, you would have recognized her immediately. Which uh… Would have made her run for sure. So I’m glad we don’t consciously remember being a huge fanfilly of Vinyl’s in highschool. ‘Fun’ fact: Jasmine was coming back from one of her concerts when she died.>
How did she die, exactly? I remember a broken neck…
Deep, writhing, desperate, discomfort flooded my everything with such intensity that I immediately dropped the issue. Sorry…
<J— Just kill Gale Force for Jasmine and Roll… Okay?>
Uh, okay… I wanted to ask why, but I guess I already knew.
I just wasn’t going to remember. Because holy Celestia’s fetlocks, that was a whole new kind of terrified right there…
<Anyways… Yeah. We’ve known this whole time. You started to love her because I’ve been squeeing in the back of your mind since we saw her face back in that horrible wood… Heh!>
I smiled and stepped around a colt who was trying to act older and buy some hard cider. Sounds like there’s lots of things we should be doing with Vinyl that I don’t know we should be doing.
<There so is!> Jasmine squeed. <Most of them are based on her memories. You’ll make us very very happy, subconsciously speaking, if we go up to her, do your best to look emotionless, and say “There are still many equine emotions I do not fully comprehend: anger, revenge, jealousy. But I am not mystified by the desire to be loved, or the need for friendship. These are things I do understand.”>
“Uh….” I said out loud as I tried to search for any reason why that would make sense.
<Oh, well, you see, she mentioned really loving Galaxy Quest and she watched it too. Trust me, she said Beep Boop was the best character in the show. Say that line and she’ll probably glomp us on the spot!> Jasmine said while I felt incredibly eager and hopeful.
Oh, hey! She was definitely me. Good.
Good to know you were just as frustrated with our dry spell as— Wait. Of course you were. You’re me… Wow, this is a weird conversation.
<Yeah… It’s also extremely unnecessary! Um, in theory.>
What do you mean?
<Well, if you tried, and I tried, we should be able to fully merge. That’s what I want. Why would I not want to be a sexy android with an immortal marefriend who we happened to have the biggest fanfilly crush on back in the day only to then learn she is actually a huge dork like we are? Uh, by the way, we should get more of those! Marefriends, I mean… And at least one coltfriend too.>
“Agreed,” I said out loud with a tired smile as I reached the gates.
Why was I feeling kind of… Well, sleepy? I don’t sleep. Was I burning magic? On what?
One of the guards raised an eyebrow. I blushed and frowned sheepishly. “S— Sorry! I meant to say hello. I’m having a really weird day… I’m here to deliver a package, can I go in?”
The guard nodded. “Yes, ma’am. The Gallery is open to the public. You don’t have to check your gun, but be warned, there’s a whole company of us in there. Start anything and you won't come out alive. Head straight in, first door on your left.”
“Thank you,” I said as the guards parted to let me through.
I tried to think of why they said my gun, and realized I still had my pistol on my leg. Oops.
<Anyways,> Jasmine mentally signed. <Jasmine wanted a cuddle-pile of lovers since high school, and with our robot powers we can actually properly balance the relationships and time and quality of each thanks to the power of subroutines! Just like Beep Boop. Even though she’s second best pony… Commander Pecan is best pony! Vinyl can fight me over that!>
I groaned and trotted down the path between the hedges. Great. Now even I was in on jokes I wasn’t going to get… Headache… I can feel you coming on and I don’t even have a brain.
Speaking of lovers… What do we think about Speed? I asked, since my subconscious was currently on the radio.
Felt like a good idea...
<She’s more of a sister type bond, if you ask me.>
Yeah, that’s what I thought… But if we don’t include her Wander and I will never get a moment together she won’t ever hear anyways.
<Vi likes her sexually, or at least, I think she does. Just treat Speed like family, cuddle sometimes, let Wander be intimate with her when she wants, and ask Speed for privacy. She won’t get into trouble if you ask her not to.>
Why didn’t I think of that before? I asked as I shook my head slowly. So, are you just going to always talk to me now?
<No! Absolutely not. You’re consciously giving me life… For lack of a better word. Notice how we’re feeling a bit sluggish?>
I nodded. Yes… Wow this is burning way more power than feels reasonable!
<Yeah, well… Do more spirit stuff. Get metaphysically buff again. Then we could run me as a subroutine all the time, if we wanted. Anyways, I only exist separate from you when we make that happen. It’s a conscious effort. Or when we’re close enough to a center of spiritual energy.>
I’m kind of sad you can’t just talk any time you want… It would be nice to have a cute mare in my head pop in and be like “Oh, by the way you actually know how to do the thing. Here’s how to do the thing.”
<Ha! Yeah. It would be kind of like how dad does, only actually helpful.>
”Hey!” Imaginary dad protested.
I smirked and held in a laugh that would have made me look insane to the ponies who were leaving the capitol building… and looking really upset. Oh no...
<OH! Also that “rod” you picked up in Suggervale? That’s a dildo. It’s a sex toy. Show Vinyl, she’ll know what to do. With everything you got from there, actually.>
My ears perked up at the thought of getting to learn more ways to have fun with my mare. Oh! Cool! Thanks, me.
<You’re welcome, me! Me, out.>
I smiled as I stepped off the lawn and onto the capitol’s wooden deck. She was a really nice mare to talk t—
I closed my eyes tightly, sighed, and facehooved.
The stallion next to me nodded. “Yeah… I feel about the same going in here. Good luck, they barely listen to ponies.”
I looked up just in time to see an older yellow furred stallion push his way into the lobby through a thick crowd of ponies.
Well… that doesn’t bode well at all.
Up close I could see a very interesting feature in the building itself. The lobby had no doors, just a single big archway which would let about ten ponies walk in shoulder to shoulder. Through the archway I could see a large room full of ponies, all of whom had split up into groups to argue, debate, or argubate with one another over so many different things that trying to overhear any single conversation proved impossible.
My ears drooped as I imagined waiting for all of them to be heard so I could get inside to deliver the radio. Maybe I could find some palace— Er, council staff and get them to set an appointment for later this evening?
I looked around for anyone who looked like they worked there, and my eyes fell on a sign hanging from the ceiling which read “Public Observation Lounge” and pointed off to a door on the right side of the room. If there was going to be staffers anywhere, it would be in there.
I gently pushed my way into the crowd, stepping past, around, and half-over easily two dozen ponies while constantly offering apologies such as “excuse me”, “pardon me”, and “sorry, I’m heading to the lounge”.
It took me nearly ten minutes to make my way to the doorway. I pushed it open eagerly, praying silently that there wouldn’t be a million ponies and their body odor on the other side. The wooden building was hot. Very hot. Everypony in here was sweating. The only scents in the air were wet fur and salt. I could feel my poor coolant pumps heating up.
How the petitioners outside hadn’t gotten heatstroke was beyond me. This building was an oven!
Thankfully, the lounge was almost entirely empty. It was little more than a big balcony lined with benches with an open wall that faced into the council’s chamber and looked down on the floor from the rear-most wall of the round-ish room.
The only other ponies here were six fully armored NCR troopers armed with shotguns who snapped to attention the second I opened the door. The message was clear. Start anything and I’d die horribly.
Assuming those aren't full of bird shot or salt.
“Good afternoon,” I said to the guards as I trotted into the lounge. “I’m here to deliver a package to the council. Is there anywhere I can make an appointment to see one of them later?”
Three of the guards exchanged looks then nodded their masked heads. One of them pointed to a bench at the front of the lounge and grunted. “Wait here. Yew Tree, go see if you can find Raven.”
“Thank you,” I said with a polite smile as I took the indicated seat.
One of the six troopers trotted out the door, their hoofsteps suggesting they were happy to get to leave. Why was that? What was I in for?
I squirmed in my seat, somewhat unnerved by the happy way that pony left. Since I was going to have to wait no matter what, I decided I might as well watch the council proceedings, and looked down into the room below me.
To my surprise, seated atop a huge dais were more than just a few ponies. I’d expected there to only be one Council Member per NCR settlement, but there were far more than that! According to my map the NCR owned twelve communities, while I counted forty two council members. I could tell which ones were representatives of given communities by their nice clothes, and the convenient labels on their podiums. The other Councillors were representatives of the military itself, a surprising number of independent merchants, a merchant guild’s representative, a couple high ranking Talon mercenaries, and even a Hellhound.
The poor pupper looked absolutely bucking miserable, crammed behind a pony-sized podium in a pony-sized seat in this oven of a building listening to the endless blah, blah, blah.
By Celestia, it was almost literally endless blah blah blah! So much so that I faded in and out of reality as my mind refused to pay attention to the proceedings for the most part and simply began to recall stories in books I had read before.
While conscious and alert, I did make out a few very disturbing things. The case I had walked in on was a merchant from the New Canterlot Craftsponies Guild who was arguing that there should be a “bid tariff” on all public auctions. Meaning anypony who wanted to place a bid at an auction, whether they won or not, would have to pay a small fee to place their bid at all.
They argued that it would help generate more revenue from the many public auctions of estates and lands, all of which could go into funding more auctions or to anywhere the Council deemed in need of emergency funds.
To my surprise, the Council voted on it then and there. It passed thirty three to nine.
I felt pretty sure the ponies I was looking at had just chosen to prevent poorer ponies from buying any kind of land available for auction. I hoped I was wrong. Maybe there was some kind of homesteading package for the poor? It felt a bit stupid to cater to the wealthy when your nation was mostly formed by survivors of an apocalypse.
The next bit of information I gleaned was whether or not the NCR would resettle Magebridge. The answer was yes, since it was a useful place for trade with the Pegans… But only by one vote.
After that a general came up to the stand. This got my attention completely as it was the first time I was seeing an officer and the military had a third of the council seats.
His name was Acetylene Torch. He was middle aged, had a towering but slender build, and was otherwise totally invisible under his uniform billowing long coat aside from a few strands of lavender mane. He came up to the petitioner's podium and managed to present a very rousing speech which he had clearly prepared and rehearsed.
The general wanted more troops out on the roads. Much more. Six times more. He argued fervently that the supply chain disruption the Tainted were causing the NCR was crippling its communities’ defences, as they had seen with Fillydelphia. He pleaded with the council, insisting that without immediate resupply even more well organized communities could fall to the Tainted’s control if they chose to attack another community directly rather than continue to engage in their banditry.
To my horror, Tenpony's councilmare stood up mid speech and rebuked him, calling the entire plan stupid as she pointed out the Tainted had access to some form of mass teleportation. Then, to my surprise, she brought up the very valid point that if they put more troops on the roads, the Tainted could simply beam into a settlement and just have it for themselves after killing what few soldiers remained.
The General argued that would happen anyways as most of their troops were down to reserve ammunition and what few scraps of bandages they could buy from the civilian markets.
The Tenpony Councilmare pointed out the military was allowed to simply confiscate civilian goods in an emergency and defending their community was certainly an emergency.
The council voted to table the matter for later discussion… 25 to 17. So they could discuss “More important issues.”
Celestia… Why? This was not an issue to put aside! Not when an army with advanced pre-war tech was running around unchecked. What could possibly be more important than finding a way to shore up crumbling supply lines?
Apparently, the problems of the aging yellow stallion I’d bumped into as I had walked in… How the hay had he gone in so soon? He had to have sent somepony ahead to reserve a spot for him.
The old stallion was the leader of a small village called Rock Farm. His town was having problems with nightly ghoul attacks. The Council listened to him as he described the damage in terms of loss of livestock, equine lives, property, and the expense of ammunition. They seemed sympathetic as he begged for military assistance…
Then, when one of the military's representatives asked what kind of ghouls Troopers would expect to engage, the old pony said, “Nopony’s sure. They’re like glowing ones, but glow yellow. Plants wither and die around them and any pony bit by one has the bite bubble and ooze like the damn thing’s spit is full of Taint. I—”
He didn’t get another word out before the Council descended into a sea of complaints, insisting their time was being wasted on nonsense. To my horror, the same military rep stood up, told the stallion that “We’ve chased those rumors before, they lead nowhere. You will leave the council floor immediately.”
I stared, my jaw hanging loose and low as the old stallion turned and walked away, his head hanging as if he expected his community wouldn’t survive the week.
I had to do something!
But I also had been asked to wait here…
Thinking fast, I pressed down on the MoA communicator on my collar and whispered, “Do Well? Are you there?”
A few moments later, she replied. “Sure am. Lunch break. No new hat yet either… Would you believe Shy didn’t have a spare hat? Also, you're probably right about the Tainted. They have more and more camps as I get closer to the HQ. What’s up?”
“I just saw the NCR Council refuse to help a town called Rock Farm. Apparently they are having problems with glowing yellow ghouls with toxic bites,” I reported.
“Ooooh… Yeah,” Rainbow sighed. “The NCR won't ever help with them. They are trying to cover them up.”
“Why?” I whispered as my face contorted in rage.
“You know how all megaspells make ghouls?” she asked.
“Yeah, wh—” My eyes widened as I realized the Gardens of Equestria were a megaspell. “O— Oh…”
“Yep. They don’t want to admit they transformed thousands of ponies on the edge of the Gardens into monsters… You’re riding with the Pegans, right? Drop a word in with them. They’ve been doing what they can to help with Garden Ghouls… Don't go chasing them yourself. Turns out a Ghoul made by a hazardous waste cleaning megaspell is basically a living ball of hazardous waste.”
I flinched as I thought about my systems getting flooded with a hyper-corrosive fluid and my cooling system just dissolving away to nothing in a few minutes. “Y— Yeah… I’ll let them know.”
“Good. Do Well out.” Rainbow said as the com clicked off.
I looked up. It didn’t look like the guards standing six or so meters from me had heard any of that...
More than a little disheartened, disgusted, and angry, I slumped in my seat and stewed. Wander was right. While individual communities in the NCR were nice, this was just horrible and awful, and maybe more than just a bit evil.
I was barely aware of the Council continuing its daily work. A few ponies from the Battle of FIllydelphia were awarded medals. A small army of lobbyists represented business friendly and consumer hostile ideas to the council. A few passed.
Then, suddenly, just as I realized the council’s primary function seemed to be to promote business, economic growth, and trade (which gave me some hope that we might get food out of them and all this hadn’t been a huge waste of time), the trooper who had left returned.
They trotted up to me and cleared their throat. “Ma’am?”
I looked up and nodded. “Yeah?”
It had only taken him about two hours… What the hay were you even doing? If the answer was “not being here” I totally understood and respected that.
“I’m afraid the Council is presently only a quarter of the way through the scheduled petitioners and votes for today. You won't get to see any of the Councillors for at least five days,” he reported.
“O— Oh…” I said as I closed my eyes slowly and let out a long slow breath.
“You’re trying to deliver mail, right?” the soldier said with a curious inflection.
I nodded. “Yes.”
“I know they get mail all the time,” he said as he nodded towards the door. “Head over to the post office. I’m sure somepony there can help you.”
I narrowed my eyes. “You have a post office?”
He nodded. “Of course!”
“Why didn’t you just tell me this when I got here?” I asked through narrow eyes and clenched teeth.
“So I could not be here for a few hours while I hunted down the Council’s secretary. Obviously,” he answered without any shame or guilt.
I nodded and took a deep breath, nearly choking on the taste of BO floating in this furnace of a room. “Honestly, as much as I want to blame you, I don’t think I can...”
Without another word I got up and trotted out of the lounge back into the still nearly totally packed lobby. A quarter of the ponies who were supposed to have been seen had already left and it was still a madhouse in this oven!
I began to push my way through the crowd again, heading for the archway so I could leave and figure out where the post-office was. Once again an ocean of apologies escaped my lips. This time they weren't just for bumping into ponies or needing them to move, but also because they were here and had to talk to the board of assholes.
“Sorry,” I said as I stepped around a mare with an extremely long tail that dragged on the ground, and was obviously wealthy since she had glass jewelry braided into her tail.
Unfortunately, while trying to avoid the noblemare, I smacked snoot first into a feathery something! I took a half step back to apologize to the pegasus I’d run into wing first, only to realize I’d walked directly into a griffon’s flank.
He turned around as my cheeks went a little pink. I opened my mouth to apologize to the larger griffon, especially since he was wearing Talon armor and had a heavy rifle on his back.
His eyes caught mine and widened. Before the first syllable was out of my mouth he exclaimed. “You’re The Machine!”
“Sowuh?” I said unintelligently as my apology slurred together with surprise.
A few ponies turned to look our way at the sound of my nickname, but the general buzz of a thousand conversations remained unchanged.
The griffon extended his right talon for me to shake and grinned. “Thank you!”
I slowly took his talon and shook it. “You’re welcome… um, but for what?” I asked with a sheepish grin.
“I’m Dimitri Blacktalon. You saved my brother’s life in Fillydelphia!” he exclaimed with an elated tone of voice. “It is an honor to meet you! Are you here to deliver a radio? Do you need any help at all?”
A grin split my muzzle. Thank you, Celestia. I promise to bake you a cake and have it delivered for this lucky break.
“Yes! I tried to deliver to the council just now but they are booked for five days and I only have three days to spend in Junction Town. I was told I might get help at the post office but I don’t know where it is. Could you take me there? Or give me directions?” I asked hopefully.
Dimitri rolled his eyes and waved a tallon at me in dismissal. “Ha! A Blacktalon’s debts are not repaid through such trivial nonsense! Follow me!”
I frowned as he began to push his way through the crowd, moving towards the front of the room.
He turned to look over his shoulder. “Come on! It’s okay, you’re with me!”
I trotted forwards, following the wake he left as ponies moved out of his way. Maybe he was an officer or something?
I squinted to get a look at the stripes on his armor. He had eight of them. Was that an officer’s rank emblem? How exactly did—
Dimitri stopped in front of a desk where two troopers sat, their masks off but otherwise in full armor. He set his talons on the desk, pushing a red furred mare aside with a wing as he looked the two troopers in the eyes.
“Hey, know who this is?” Dimitri said to the trooper on the left as he jerked a talon my way.
The trooper raised an eyebrow, her minty furred face contorting in annoyance. “No? What did I tell you about your so-called VIPs, Di—”
“This,” Dimitri said slowly and firmly. “Is The Machine.”
The mare’s eyes widened slightly and she took a real look my way. “Oh, shit really?!”
“Really,” Dimitri said with an ironclad nod. “Look at those flanks, seen any zeeb else with girls like those?”
“... Fair point,” the trooper admitted while blushing for some reason. “What’s she need?”
“She’s got a package for the Prez. Pretty important, it’s about a trade deal. Lotta guns, power generation, big deal shit. It’s all over the radio. She can’t wait for the Council’s dick-n-clit measuring contest to be over. Got it?”
Wait, that’s a thing you can compete in? Huh… I’ll have to ask Wander about the rules later.
“Gotcha. We’ll see if she’s able to make time… Wait in the guardpost,” she said before turning to the other trooper. “Prism, see if the President can spare a few minutes.”
“Right away, captain,” the other trooper said as she got up from her seat and jogged away.
Dimitri nodded in satisfaction and returned his talons to the floor before grinning at me. “Come on. You’re gold now. It won't take long.”
I rocked from hoof to hoof and gestured to the crowd of ponies around me. “Thank you but, um… This seems a little unfair.”
Dimitri rolled his eyes and chuckled. “It’s no more unfair than bribing their way into the council rather than booking an appointment three weeks in advance,” he said nodding towards a plum colored stallion in a white vest. “Like he did ten minutes ago.”
“Oh…” I said, my face contorting angrily as I sighed.
Dimitri walked over to my side and gave me a friendly side-hug. “Ah, but this is politics, kotyonok!” he squeaked. “Uh, sorry, I mean, Machina. Politics is unfair. Is synonym! Come, the guardpost awaits!”
Dimitry lead me through the crowd to a door on the opposite side of the still oven-hot building as the lounge. The sign next to it read “Guard Post, Authorized Personnel Only.” Dimitri pushed it open like he owned the palace. Since he seemingly was outranked by that Captain, but still got her to do what he wanted, maybe he did.
The room on the other side was fairly large. Big enough for eight bunk beds, two tables, a few lockers, a bookshelf, and a scattering of chairs. In spite of all the salvage-crafted furniture there was still enough room for nearly 30 troopers to be standing around just hanging out in uniform, but clearly off duty.
I felt comfortable saying clearly off duty because there was no way on-duty troopers would be playing checkers, reading books, drinking, or playing the knife game at one of the tables with a griffon.
I have no idea why a griffon thought they could beat a pony at the knife game, but they were playing it anyways. Maybe the griffon was drunk and didn’t realize that a pony can’t actually bleed from their hoof, and also only had one thing to accidentally hit rather than three… So ponies can’t lose the knife game...
Dimitri walked into the room and waited for the door to swing shut behind me. For a moment I thought he was going to take me to the small bar and pour me a drink. Instead he walked over to it, cleared his throat, unleashed “Ei! Suki!”
Every single trooper turned towards him at once forming a wall of glare configurations. Some of them directed at me.
I squirmed awkwardly. Dimitri stepped out the side and made a sweeping gesture to me with both wings and one talon.
“This, is The Machine!” He announced. “Give her vodka, and you’ll have a great time!”
Never before had I seen a crowd shift from annoyed to party in 10 seconds flat.
Before I knew it, I had a bottle of salted vodka in my hoof, some traditional griffon music was playing from an old record player, and entire plates of snacks had appeared as if by magic. The snacks were the most concerning part. There is no way they could have just had little plates of artistically stacked pickle slices, potato salad, smoked cheese bits, some kind of meat-jelly-cube-things, and little round, puffy, muffin things, all just laying around for snack-related-emergencies.
And yet, there were suddenly entire platters of them. Everywhere. Like islands of food in the sea of cheering griffons and ponies, all of whom were asking me to tell my best war stories.
It was at this moment I decided those Machine stories had probably gone a little too far.
Of course, it would be rude to not accept the drink and not tell them one of my stories. Preferably one they wouldn’t have heard before. Besides, that would let me show them I wasn’t all that special.
Raising the bottle to my lips, I tipped it back and dumped it into my throat in one smooth motion, just like how dad told me a real mare drinks her drinks. Then, setting the bottle down on the floor, I cleared my throat and got ready to tell one of the stories I had from my centuries as a mail mare.
“So this one time, I was taking a package of medicine from my hometown up to the furthest village in the icy north. The town was suffering from a diphtheria epidemic and without what little medicine we could scrounge from the ruins around the other villages, every foal up there was going to die,” I began.
Someone pressed another bottle into my hoof. I held it, deciding to drink it in a few minutes. After all, I’d just started the story. “I was making my way up a glacier, not by choice, the blizzard going on made every other path completely impassable, when all of a sudden, out of the flying ice and snow comes a giant, mutant, radioactive polar bear. He was pissed. And hungry. And on me before I could even think to dodge. You wouldn’t think something five time’s a pony’s size could be stealthy, but let me tell you, those things will ambush you better than most cats!
“So, now I am wrestling with this bear while making sure it can’t smash my left saddlebag so the medicine is safe while we’re sliding down the glacier towards the supercooled water below…”
☢★★◯★★☢
“... Thanks to dad’s training, and the convenient tree trunk, I managed to get the second bear to hit the third one with its claws, and colt did that rip a nasty wound into the poor thing’s gut! Then the first—”
“HEY!” A mare’s voice called, snapping me out of storytelling mode.
Prism, the trooper who the Captain had sent to ask the President for an appointment, was standing in the doorway, looking more than a little ticked off. Not as ticked off as the troopers I had been telling about the time I got three bears to fight each other so I could slip away and finish my route, but still pretty ticked off.
“President Grimfeathers will see you now,” Prism said with an irritated huff. “You’d better hope you’re not drunk!”
I smiled. “Thank you. I’ve only had two bottles, I’m completely sober,” I said as I stood up and looked to the assembled troops.
I had to finish the story… Right?
“To make a long story short, I managed to trick the bears into fighting each other and slipped away. The delivery was made, most of the foals got better, and the five that died weren’t even my fault and the five vials that broke didn’t matter in the end, since those five died before I left… Anyways, I’m sure all of you would have handled it much better. I’m just the mailmare, after all. Thanks for the drinks!”
Prism turned and trotted away with a “follow me” wave of her hoof. As I left the room, the Guardhouse broke out into cheers with many troopers telling me to do things like “Go get-em, hero!”
I frowned as I followed Prism to a hallway on the same side of the building as the guard room.
I mean, I guess you could call delivering medicine heroic? It’s just a job though. A thing needed to be moved from one point to another, so I moved it. There was an obstacle interfering with delivery, so I overcame it. I didn’t do anything special or amazing. I had an overnight delivery, and all I did was make sure it was delivered on time. As requested. Because I’m a mailmare.
Prism led me down a short hallway, with no less than six posted guards per side, two of whom even had power armor, to a large door made from a piece of traincar. Fortunately, I had enough time as we trotted down the hallway to quickly fish out my courtier's robes and put them on.
Albeit put them on a little messily, but I still had to be in uniform to deliver something to a president!
She knocked on it several times before a deep yet feminine girffon’s voice called, “Come in.”
Prism opened the door for me. I frowned and nodded towards my pistol, “Shouldn’t I take this off and leave it with you?”
Prism smirked. “Madam President is the fastest draw in the NCR. I am sure she would love to see someone try to kill her with a pistol. It would make her day.”
“It would,” the president chuckled from inside the room. “Come on in.”
I trotted into the office, and Prism closed the door behind me. I immediately regretted my decision to come here. The room was an irregular, motherbucking, trapezoid!
All of the angels were just weird! As if the architect had decided “I’m going to make this room so uncomfortable to be in, that no one will ever want to use it for anything ever, except maybe punishing small foals without hurting them. Physically, anyway.”
On the other hoof, the design did serve to make the President look much bigger than she could have really been. She sat behind a small but new and well crafted desk with the NCR’s seal carved into the front. She was framed by a pair of NCR flags hung on poles behind her, with a third larger one hung flat against the wall like a tapestry so both she and her chair were framed by the flag’s device.
I couldn’t help but notice her chair appeared to be the captain’s chair from a Thunderhead-class airship. That's pretty neat.
Almost as neat as the little brass plaque which sat in front of the massive griffon hen behind the desk, letting the world know they were standing in front of “President Regina Grimfeathers, Warrior, Mother, Friend of Pip”.
I’d gotten to know a few griffons over the last few weeks, including Sviatoslav. I was used to how much bigger than a pony they were. President Grimfeathers towered over them all. She made the huge chair she sat in look small, but not in a comical way. Her golden eyes burned brightly, radiating power and intelligence.
Power in the physical sense, not the mere air of authority any true leader has. This was a griffon who looked like if you ticked her off she could headbutt you into a wall, and through it.
That made me feel rather small…
“So…” the President began. “I hear you are The Machine.”
I closed my eyes for a moment. Yep. The stories had gone too far!
“Yes, Madam President,” I said with an apologetic smile. “However, the stories are all somewhat exaggerated and I do not believe I should be treated as anything special for what I have done.”
President Grimfeathers smiled and shook her head. “Irrelevant. You saved one of my towns,” she said with a respectful dip of her head. “Sire’s Hollow is a breadbasket which supplies nearly forty percent of my citizens with food.”
“Oh. Well, yes. I did help with that,” I agreed with a short nod. “But—”
“I have Bluegrass’s letter right here,” she said as she lifted a few pieces of paper off her desk for me to see, then set them back down. “A full account of the story from his own two eyes. A glowing recommendation for me to hear you out, and transcripts of his first radio call to your Queen. I know what you did for my nation that night.”
“W— Well, yes,” I admitted. “I did stop an Ultra-Sentinel, but that was mostly luck and having the right tool for the job.”
“Irrelevant. You still did it,” President Grimfeathers said with a chuckle. “You remind me of an old friend of mine. Always so humble… It’s more than that one incident which makes you a pony worth speaking with, Miss Gears.”
“I know!” I said with a smile. “I have your radio right here.”
I began to rummage in my saddlebags for the radio case.
“No. Not that. Forget it for a moment,” President Grimfeathers ordered with a sigh. “You came to the assistance of one of my battalions as well as a squadron of Applejack’s Rangers without anything compelling you to. At extreme personal risk, I might add. You went hoof to hoof with an extremely dangerous opponent who nearly destroyed the entire attacking force single hoofed. A battle in which you proved to be a deciding factor in my Talons’ survival and the reclamation of one of our settlements from the Tainted. That, no matter how much luck was involved, no matter how tall the tales have become, is true. Correct?”
“W— Well, yes,” I stammered shyly. “B— But I was just doing what anypony would have done in my place.”
The President shook her head firmly. “Very few would have done what you did had they been given the chance, Miss Gears. Your actions are more than enough for me to treat you with respect and take you seriously. Thank you for your service, Miss Gears,” she said with a half-bow. “Now then, to business. I hear you have a package for me?”
I felt my cheeks flush brightly. Nopony other than Queen Katydid had ever told me I did something good and special like that before, and she was my godmother so she was supposed to say stuff like that even for the little things, because that’s what family does.
“I— I— Uh, yes!” I said with a happy smile as I removed one of the radios from the case and fetched a letter from my bag.
I set them both on her desk then looked into her eyes and asked. “Do you need me to explain everything, or did Mister Bluegrass’s letter tell you everything you’d like to know?”
“I know almost everything I need to know,” she confirmed with a nod. “I do however, have one question… Was your nation founded by the MAS Researchers who were in the Crystal City’s laboratories on the Last Day?”
I nodded. “Yes, Ma’am. Them, the surviving civilians and nobility, and the changelings.”
“I see… Your Queen, does she hold the title due to being a leader of Changelings, or is there more to it?” President Grimfeathers asked with a very serious look in her eyes.
“Well, yes. She is the rightful heir to the Crystal Empire,” I replied. “Um, I wouldn't think of her like your usual noble, assuming Tenpony is how all of your nobles here are. She’s very nice and just wants her ponies to have food and safety.”
“In my experience, anyone who claims a title such as King or Queen tend to be… conquerors,” the President said in a way which made me think she thought of such people positively. “Does she have any intentions towards my nation other than trade?”
I shook my head. “Not that I know of, ma’am. I’m her godfilly, and I really don’t think she’d do anything like that. Her Majesty tries her best to be like her aunt.”
“And who would that be?” the President asked curiously.
“Oh, well, Princess Celestia,” I replied.
“Then she is for certain an alicorn?” she asked. “One who knew Celestia herself?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“And, for absolutely certain, your culture is collectivist and non-violent towards one another?” she asked with an odd sort of hopeful tone to her voice.
“Well, Madam President, when nature itself seems to want you dead, it doesn’t make sense to add more people to your list of enemies,” I said matter of factly. “You’ll gain much more for yourself if you cooperate with them instead. They’ll get more too! Long term survival for us has always been about forming close-knit groups of as many ponies as possible… Uh, not to say we never had, or don’t currently have bandit problems. It’s just they are rare, and our bandits tend to form large groups of their own… Twice in our history gangs have decided to join us once they were town-sized. There’s simply too many non-pony threats to ignore basic herding instincts.”
President Grimfeathers grinned. “Good! Then, we have a deal. I will pull my weight and make the council do as they are told. For once. They may not want to deal with your nation, but I do. I will place a call to Her Highness as soon as I have time for it. Thank you for coming, Miss Gears.”
“I am happy to have been helpful, Madam President,” I said as I bowed politely and turned to leave.
President Grimfeathers cleared her throat, making me turn back around as she said. “Before you go…”
“Yes, Ma’am?” I asked with a curious tilt of my head.
“I heard you lost a weapon at Sire’s Hollow,” she said as she looked me up and down.
I nodded. “Yes, ma’am. That tends to happen when you’re punched by a robot five times your size.”
“I’d give you something to replace it as a thank you for your service, but I hear you’re heading to all of the major settlements and that means Los Pegasus is on your list.”
“Yes ma’am. I have a ride there.” I informed with a polite smile. “Thank you for thinking of me, but—”
The President opened a drawer in her desk and removed a stack of papers along with a quill and inkpot. “A moment.”
I frowned, wondering if she thought she should pay to replace the LAER I lost since it was broken defending her town. “Um, are you writing me a caps voucher, Ma’am?”
The President cackled for a moment then shook her head. “No.”
I blinked, unsure of what, if anything, she could be doing now.
After a few moments of writing, she passed a whole stack of papers over to me with a smile. “Here you are,” she said as she pointed to the papers on top of the stack with a talon. “These are the papers you’ll need to enter Los Pegasus, in case you don’t have any or your guide isn't allowed to bring guests inside the walls. There’s also a paper from me verifying you as a foreign diplomat, it should be useful even in the Herd. They hate us, but they’ll trust the Talon name. I’ve also included a script for three thousand caps. It’s not from the NCR, it’s from the Talons. That makes the bond good as gold. Cash it at a bank in Los Pegasus, spend it all at one shop. Replace your gun, or test your apparent immunity to getting drunk. Have a good time on me. You’ve earned it!”
“Thank you, Madam President,” I said as I bowed low to hide the shocked look on my face. “I’ll be sure to tell Her Majesty you helped me on my mission as soon as I can.”
The President shook her head. “Please don’t. This isn’t a matter of politics, it’s a matter of honor. You saved Talon lives. We owed you a debt, it’s been payed. Simple as that.”
Ah. A Warrior’s debt. Now that I understood. It was in all the history books which mentioned Equestria’s deals with griffons.
“I understand,” I said as I turned around once more. “Goodbye, and thank you again.”
“Don’t mention it… Good luck out there, Machina,” President Grimfeathers said with a smile as I opened the door and stepped outside.
To my surprise, Prism was still standing there. As soon as I left she stood at attention. “Do you remember the way out, Miss?”
I nodded. “Yes, thank you for helping me.”
She smiled faintly. “No, thank you. I’m getting tired of the brownouts…”
I nodded to pretend I knew what that meant and began to walk down the hall towards the open non-oven-hot air of the market.
While this certainly had ended well, I hoped Wander and Speed had a better time over the last few hours than I had…