//------------------------------// // Chillin with the Girls // Story: So What If I Can't Attack as a Hero // by GreenMage //------------------------------// “The modern world can be such a pain.” The annoyed red haired woman staring at a flip phone was sighing loud enough for those next to her to hear. She was on a bus heading to work when a text from her coworker told her how that she needs a new phone to get the company app . It’s not like she wants to have an ancient phone. With all her student debt and family begging her for money she can’t afford a new phone despite her corporate office job. The most modern tech she has is a company laptop and an old kindle. Meanwhile it seems like everyone around her is from an advanced civilization. She let out one last sigh before it happened. She saw a man randomly dance on the bus and laughed. This laugh would normally be fine, but she was drinking a soda at the same time. The drink some how caused her to choke and she died from the traumatic experience. People were to busy watching or ignoring the dancer. The death was as painful as embarrassing. After that, she awoke in an empty white space with blue lights in the shape of smoke appearing and vanishing. She looked around in front of her and then turned around to see… “Hello human. I’m sure you have lots of questions right now.” An anime looking cat girl was standing in front of her. Kitty ears where human ones should be and pure white hair. She also had a long tail with short fur. Her skin was a dark tan that looked almost golden. After seeing this impossible being she just had to ask. “Did I really just die chocking on soda?” The cat girl began laughing so hard she fell over. Instead of a graceful fall it was a heavy fall on her back. “Seriously?! You look at a Goddess and that’s your first question?” She then dead pan replied,” Ok, what is your name?” The Goddess smiled, “ Not gonna say until you say your name. It’s rude to ask otherwise.” The red head finally revealed her name. “My name is Nikki….” Nikki stared down the supposed Goddess waiting for her to reveal her name. After an awkward pause the answer was, “ My name is Slim Shady.” Another pause with no sign of laughter. “ Fine, my name is Kalitay. You sure have a stick up your ass.” “ I just died so I’m not exactly in a laughing mood. So what does a cat girl claiming to be a Goddess want with me?” “What indeed. I want you to serve as my representative as a Summoned Hero. You better listen up, because this is vital information. The world you are being sent to has a tradition where Heroes are sent from another world to kill the Demon King. Different Deities choose who will be sent and will guide the Hero. Four Heroes are summoned and are given to different countries after they show off their powers. This time you will be the first ever Fifth. This world thinks I’m dead so it’s best not to admit I chose you. Each Hero gets a job class like an RPG character and can level up faster than anyone from that world. I’ll go into detail of your job class later. Right now you need to get ready for the ceremony. When you see the royals kneel and be a total kiss ass. I’ll guide you as long as I can. Once my time is up you can talk to me by imagining a full moon that smells like lavender. Bye for now!” I am left alone and see a light quickly come toward me. As the light gets closer I notice it looks like a throne room. As soon as I realize that I am inside the throne room. I am standing in the center between 4 other people. They seem less confused than me and look familiar. Before I can recognize the people next to me the King on the throne stands with a surprised look on his face. He looks like a stereotypical corrupt king with a keg belly and white hair. There are other royals near him that look like rulers of different lands. One group is made of people with animal features. To the right of them are stereotypical fantasy setting dwarves except they all look young. To the right of the king is what seem to be Lord of the Rings elves except they don’t have that smug look on their faces. To the right of them are anthro versions of Celestia and the Main 6. I think I got their interest with my gaping mouth and wide eyes staring at them. I realize I have just been Isekaied and possibly displaced. The people next to me seem not bothered by this and I start to realize where I recognize them from. They are characters from fiction. I see Weiss Schnee from RWBY, Zidane Tribal from Final Fantasy IX, Izuku Midoriya from My Hero Academia, and Naruto Uzumaki from Naruto. I am the only nonfiction person summoned, at least I think so. I notice they begin to kneel and I follow suit. The jelly belly king speaks, “This is a welcome surprise. An extra hero to smite the Evil Demon Lord”. I would tell him that evil and demon are redundant, but my spirit guide pussy reminds me that is a bad idea. “My Court Mage will determine your job classes with her crystal ball. She will announce it and you will go back into your place. Afterwards you will meet my honored peers to help you determine where you shall live”. The ball floats away from the Court Mage and starts with Weiss. She is given the job title Magic Knight of Redemption. I guess that is fitting considering her past and sword skills. Zidane is obviously given the Thief of Hearts job title. I seriously hope he is married to Garnet or else he will be a hassle. Izuku is the Monk of Determination. That sounds like an Undertale reference, but I doubt it has anything to do with that. Naruto is a surprisingly the Black Mage of Bonds. Then again ninja in his world pretty much are magic users, but he doesn’t fit the smart stereotype. His talk-no-jutsu is definitely worthy of the Bonds title. It is my turn and I walk up to find out my job is The Green Mage of Hope. I don’t know what a Green Mage is and Hope is poison to me. I walk back confused, while the royals are shocked. “… What deity has brought you here Green Mage”? Princess Celestia asks with hesitation. “Was it Discord”? “I’m sorry, but I was told not to say who sent me, but I can say it wasn’t called Discord”. “That is a relief, but to be a Hero with the job class Green Mage is… troubling. Green Mages have no offence capabilities”. “… … What!!!!!! Are you saying I can’t protect myself”? The Elf leader quickly speaks up,” No, that is not true. You are able to protect yourself, but you cannot directly attack with skills until you reach a high level. Green Mages are the ultimate support class, but are also the most vulnerable. It is surprising to us that you are one, because there has never been a support class Hero before”. One of the Dwarve men asks,” Celestia would it be possible for you to take in our Green Mage. After all, the demons have not reached your continent and there is plenty of magic material that can be used to train her”. “ Woedyne, you know it is up to the heroes to choose where to go, but if she chooses us then I will see to it that she is powerful enough to protect herself”. The situation I am in has finally gotten to me and I remark with annoyance, “ She is standing right here and has a name”. Everyone has their eyebrows raised. Celestia breaks the silence, “ Were you not told how giving your name is dangerous”? “Sorry, but I was brought her with no helpful information except that I am dead in my world”. “That is concerning. All Guiding Deities must brief Heroes in order to prepare them on their mission. It would seem as though your Deity intends to keep your time among the living short. Who sent you”? “Despite the circumstances I won’t tell you. I kinda made a promise and I don’t break those. Even if that Deity won’t let me break demons. Also why can’t I give my name”? “Names from your world can be used to perform hexes. You will have to create a new one that fits our naming conventions.” Oh great I have to have something ridiculous, like Shimmer or Glimmer. Maybe I can be Doughnut Steel. " As much as I love being in the limelight, there are other Heroes here.” I can here Pinkie say that Lime Light would be a good name. “Yeah! I’m sick of standing here doing nothing. BELIEVE IT”! Oh great he is just as annoying as in the Anime. It seems he is Shipuuden version of Naruto. “Keep it down you dolt! You are giving me a headache”. Weiss looks like her Season 1 version, which means the tsune is strong with this one. “I know some great cures to headaches. My hands are miracle workers when it comes to stress”. Oh shit he is pre-Garnet Zidane. I better keep an eye out for him. I know he isn’t one to rape, but his flirting is not ideal when I know he has a soulmate. “Ummm… I usually take a hot shower when I have a headache”. Oh Izuku, how nice of him to steer the conversation. “What is a shower? Is it tasty?” Zidane’s remark made me literally roll on the floor laughing. The Goku level of stupid that comment was is amazing. Granted I don’t recall seeing showers in FFIX. “ Of course a Faunus world wouldn’t have a shower”. Oh fuck Weiss is still a racist. “You have seen people like me!? Please tell me about them!” Well at least she has a look of shame after that comment. The ponies and demi-humans look pissed. The human king interrupts “Ahem, well you two will have plenty of time to get to know each other this week. Green Mage do you know our names”? “ I am sorry, but I was not told any of your names”. “ Well in that case…” Celestia and the main six introduced themselves while only the main people in charge of the other groups gave a name. The human king is William Margrave VIII, the Queen of the elves is Entra Fairsight, the leader of the Dwarves is a man named Woedyne Malachite, the Empress of the demi-humans is a golden fur Kitsune named Makoto no Kitsune. Makoto created a sliding door on the wall behind them and we were ordered to follow the royals into the magic doorway. Inside the doorway was a Japanese Tatami mat room with a view of a mountain range. We were told that this a pocket dimension spell that contains an onsen hotel. The purpose of this to help us build trust with everyone with shared nudity. This raised red flags with me and Weiss, but we were immediately comforted with the fact there are not just mixed onsen here. Zidane did not share the sentiment. I am invited by the ponies to share an onsen and I accept. Weiss looked like she wanted to join me, but was disturbed by the appearance of the not human bath mates. Instead she is invited and joins the elven women. Izuku is with the dwarves, Naruto goes with the humans, and Zidane flirts his way into a mixed bath with the demi-humans. The Mane Six are laughing and seem excited to get to know me. Especially Pinkie Pie. “ So what is your favorite flavor cupcake”? “Actually I don’t really care for cupcakes. I prefer savory over sweet treats”. This was apparently a terrible answer since she stares at me as if I just killed a puppy. “Who doesn’t like cupcakes!? Who hurt you to make you this way!? Was it a cavity? I swear to all that is fun I will save your sweet tooth Green Mage”! Applejack whispers in my ear, “ Sorry bout that hun. She is really passionate about her work. She is a party planner and baker. If you need any apples to clean your taste buds to let me know. I run an apple orchard”. Rarity get close to my other ear and whispers, “ If you need new clothes after all the sweets and apples come to me. I am a dress designer and seamstress”. I thanked them both for their Pinkie solutions and noticed that Twilight and Fluttershy put on towels while we weren’t looking. I guess they have body image issues or are just shy. I wish Rainbow Dash had some of their modesty since she keeps standing in front of me with her hands on her hips in a Hero pose. I’m not sure if she is coming onto me or is just bragging about her physique. Knowing her it is probably both. Celestia is behind all of us clearly wanting to put on a towel, but she knows we have to wash before getting in. I can tell she wants to let Twilight and Fluttershy know that, but doesn’t want to embarrass them. I take it upon myself to help them out. “ I wish they had a magic onsen that doesn’t require thoroughly washing to get in. I hate having to get back clean”. Celestia has a bright smile after realizing what I just did. Twilight and Fluttershy look at each other and place their towels on a bench. Celestia repaid my kindness with using her magic to clean me in an instant. I could see Twilight trying to convince Fluttershy to not wear a towel since I don’t seem to care about their bodies. She refuses and we all get in the onsen. I feel bad for Fluttershy, mainly because her back must be in constant pain from her boobs. Pinkie, Rarity, and Celestia share my pity for their onsen islands. Rainbow looks angry at me for comparing boob sizes. Her boobs match her washboard abs which must help with her flying speed. Wind whacking my knockers doesn’t sound fun to me. Twilight and Applejack are members of the perfect size for me club. I am also a member of this elite club. Enough of the borderline fap material. Time for chatting. “ So Pinkie bakes, Applejack grows apples, Rarity is in fashion, and Celestia is a Princess. What about Fluttershy and Twilight”? “Uuumm… I… Uh… take care of animals. If they get hurt or if somepony is looking for a pet I help them”.-Fluttershy “I am the apprentice of Princess Celestia and Librarian of the Ponyville Library”.-Twilight “Wow that is an interesting job combo. How did that happen”? Twilight and co tell me about the first two episodes and what Cutie Marks are. They act as a way to show the skill a pony has. So a Cutie Mark is more than a talent here, but also gives a special power. Celestia’s allows her to control the Sun and to some extent the Moon. Twilight has 2x exp learning magic. Rarity can locate material she can use for fashion and increase in telekinetic control when creating clothes. Rainbow Dash can increase her flying speed at the price of her focus on surroundings. Applejack can fine tune her strength to perfect precision to knock down apples from trees as well as other uses. Pinkie can do to many things to list ,but her ability to know someone’s sense of humor upon sight was interesting to know. Fluttershy can communicate with animals and feel what others feel. I can’t wait to be a part of their crazy adventures. As long as I don’t die like an idiot again.