Fifty Shades of Neigh

by GaPJaxie


A Family Dispute

A request by Dark Pinkie:

Twilight's daughter uses the Starswirls Time Travel spell (the one from season 2) to tell Twilight not to give her a little brother.

A brilliant flash illuminated every part of the library. A thunderous crash reverberated off of every surface. And through it all, a voice could be heard, “Mom!”

Twilight yelped, leaping out of her chair with such force she stumbled and fell to the floor. When she recovered, she found herself facing a unicorn filly, no more than twelve years of age. Her coat was the color of coal, her mane smoke and fire, and her cutie mark depicted a star trapped in a steel ring.

The filly pointed, and with a voice filled with power and authority beyond her years, she commanded: “Do not have a second child!”

“Wait…” Twilight frowned. “What?”

“I said, don’t have a second child,” the filly shouted again. “I know you want a colt but he’s a huge jerk and he steals all my cookies and he borrows my toys and never gives them back and when he does they’re all banged up because he used my dolls to play with his stupid action figures.”

“I… what?” Twilight rubbed her forehead. “I don’t have a first child.”

“Oh.” The filly’s horn glowed, and a clock appeared in the air in front of her. “Oh, dangit. I overshot. Hold on I’ll go forward a few years.”

“Wait wait.” Twilight held up a hoof. “Are you trying to erase your brother from existence because he keeps touching your things?”

“Oh my gosh. Don’t lecture me!” The filly’s tone turned defensive. “I’m twelve and I have my cutie mark and that means I’m a wizard and you can’t keep babying me.”

“A cutie mark doesn’t mean anything on its own. And your magical powers don’t mean a thing if you don’t have the maturity to use them responsibly.” Twilight huffed. “I want you to think about what you’ve done, young mare.”

“Well I think I hate you!” the filly shouted.

“Ooh, when you’re born, you are going to be in so much trouble. I’m going to ground you for so long you’ll forget what the outside looks like!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

With a flash of light, the filly vanished.


Years later, Nurse Redheart stared at the forms in front of her and frowned. They were birth certificates.

One, dated that morning, was for the birth of a filly named Closed Loop. The other, dated two years into the future, was for the birth of a colt named Time Like.

She knew what Ponyville was like and that stranger things had happened, but she wasn't quite prepared to sign a form attesting to events that had yet to occur.

In a white flash, a filly appeared before her: "Do not deliver that colt to..." She paused and looked around the hospital. Then she stomped her hoof. "Dangit!"

Redheart signed the forms.