Epilogue 1:
I approach the balcony slowly. Luna sits in a patch of shade given by a potted tree. I have sometimes brought my desk out here and used that shade myself. It never seemed enough for my purposes but seems to swallow Luna’s tiny body. I don’t remember her being that … small when last we were together.
Then again, the very last time we were together she was tall, obsidian-coated and trying to kill me.
Even so, her diminutive stature is new. Her mane and tail hang limp and lank, composed of mere hair. Her coat does not glisten with starshine. When the Elements of Harmony burned Nightmare Moon out of her with the Light of True Friendship, it seems they left little behind. Luna’s own magic was so entwined with the Nightmare’s that it, too, was burned away, leaving in its wake this doll-like child-princess instead of the once-proud Sovereign Ruler of the Night.
She hears my hoofsteps. Her ears flick in my direction but she does not turn around. She waits for me to come to her. I choose to think it is not an unspoken challenge, as it might once have been. Luna’s stooped shoulders and unwillingness to meet my eye are born of regret and shame, not rebellion.
“Luna, it’s very hot out this afternoon. It’s the middle of summer, after all. Won’t you come inside?”
“Thou dost speaketh as the common folk, dear sister,” Luna says quietly. “Thy meaning remaineth clear to our ears but thy tongue doth wrap itself around thine words with the aplomb of one much lower-born than thee.”
“Equestrian has evolved as a language since you’ve been gone. Speaking like this makes me more approachable to our subjects.”
Her nose wrinkles a little. “Not ours, dear sister. Thine.”
“Ours,” I reply firmly. “And I mean both of us, not the royal ‘our’. They never stopped being yours as well as mine.”
“We … I …. do not deserve to rule over anypony.” Luna gulps audibly but swallows the sudden onset of emotion. Or maybe she simply hates using singulars instead of royal plurals. Nonetheless, I watch her eyes glitter from the corner of my own. “I did squander that right when I did take up the mantle of darkness and the helm of fear.”
“That’s in the past, Luna. I have forgiven you.”
“That is folly!” Her shout echoes off the brickwork. It is a good thing I informed the guards of the castle not to interfere if they heard raised voices. I can more than handle Luna in her weakened state. This is no Nightmare Moon I am facing now.
I had hoped our conversation would remain civil but … I am done pretending I know my own sister as well as I thought I did. A thousand years ago I chose to believe what I wanted about Luna. I chose to think I knew her hopes and dreams, her thought processes and her opinions better than she did. My arrogance left her vulnerable to the insidious darkness that stole her from me for hundreds of lifetimes. I thought I knew best back then. I harbour no such vanity now. This time I will not acknowledge only the parts of her that appeal to me. I will accept her whole, as she is, all her beauty and ugliness, all her strengths and weaknesses, not just as I want her to be.
So I do not raise my voice in return to her. I do not turn and walk away, calling her behaviour unfit for a princess, as I might have done when I was young and foolish. Instead, softly, I ask: “Why do you think that, Luna?”
“I did endeavour to slay thee!” Luna snaps as if I am being particularly stupid. “I did attempt to usurp thine place and add it to mine own. I did wish to douse thy mighty sun and claim its place with my own moon, no matter the cost to our ponies or our country.” Luna bites her lip, still unable to look directly at me. “I am unfit to rule.”
“Do you think you would ever do it again?”
Though turned from me, I can tell that her expression is one of pure horror. “Nay! Never again!”
“Then you are fit to rule, Luna. Nopony is perfect. We all make mistakes. It’s how we deal with them and learn from them that makes us who and what we are.” I stare out at the distant mountains and the undulating green of the Everfree Forest. It is a pretty place from a distance, though its wildness up close is to be respected more than admired. “I have had a thousand years to learn that lesson. Truthfully, I had to learn it a few times. I made many mistakes while you were gone, Luna. I regret a lot of them. Some still hurt to think about - and probably will for the rest of my life - but each one shaped me into the kind of ruler …” I trail off. “No, into the kind of pony I am today. Equestria is prosperous. Its denizens are happy and safe. Each new generation makes it a better place. Yet none of them are perfect and I would not wish for them to be so. Our imperfections, our mistakes, our tragedies and our triumphs all contribute to the tapestry of our lives. And a tapestry made up of only one colour thread would be a very boring thing.”
Luna shifts her shoulders, her head still drooping but her ears pricked. “Thou art … so much older than I now, dear sister. So much the wiser than I. For thee … a thousand years did pass … but for me ‘twas was but the blink of an eye since last we ill-met by moonlight.” She winces at her own words. “Thy will hath endured the tests of time and softened to forgiveness but … mine own wounds do remain fresh. I do see myself with eyes clear as morning dew where before they were clouded as … a stormy night. I do behold mine own failures, my own frailties and … and I do not possess strength enough to forgive myself for what I have done to thee and to thy … our ponies.”
“It will come in time, Luna.”
“I wouldst pray that thou art correct, dear sister, but there remaineth a part of me that doth wish for naught but censure and continued punishment for crimes committed by mine own hoof.”
“A millennia away from Equestria is punishment enough, I think, and though I wish you wouldn’t, I think you’ve lavishing enough censure on yourself that nopony else need add to it.” I want so badly to nuzzle her and give her the physical comfort that should go along with my words. That short embrace in the ruins of our old home was not nearly enough. “Self-flagellation may seem like a good idea but it won’t help you to become a better pony. Though it might seem like a good idea, heaping punishment upon yourself won’t change the past and will only change your future for the worse.”
Luna hunches. “We shall see, dear sister.”
“Luna, would you please answer me one question?”
She stiffens, clearly expecting the worst. “O-of course.”
“Why won’t you use my name?”
Tension hangs thick in the air. “I … know not of which thou doth speak.”
“Yes you do. Ever since Twilight and her friends brought me back to you, and you to me, you’ve called me ‘dear sister’ and nothing else. Why?”
Luna swallows audibly. “I … have missed thee. I wish to … re-establish our sisterly bond …”
She can tell I’m not buying it.
“Tell me the truth, Luna. Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear. I refused to listen to you a thousand years ago. I will not do so again - not ever. Not even if what you have to say to me is something you think will anger or hurt me.”
“I … it is difficult to … be so familiar with thee now.” Luna pauses. I don’t press her to go on but eventually she does anyway. “Thou hath grown, both in body and mind. Thou doth possess such wisdom and thou art so much more majestic and regal than the pony I knew before my … translation unto darkness. When I do look upon thee I do not see Celestia, the pony who did tease me as a filly and carry me upon her back as a mewling foal. I do address thee as sister to remind myself that this … be what you are to me.”
My heart clenches. “Oh Luna...”
“Mine heart did house such envy for thee a thousand years hence. I could not bear for it to do so again. Thou art my dear sister. I do not ever wish to forget that in favour of the dark thoughts that did once plague me.” She sniffs. “They were not all the Nightmare’s. They did begin as my own. My own jealousy and … petty hatred that did grow to become its full-fledged cousin.” She gulps wetly and pauses before continuing. “I am … afraid. I am afraid that the soil within this heart and mind of mine is still nourishing to such terrible thoughts. That I shall begin to see thee once again as my superior … not as family.”
“That will not happen.” I clomp my hoof down sternly, making her jump. “You say I’m so much wiser now but so are you, Luna! Listen to yourself! Would the old Luna from a thousand years ago be second-guessing herself like this? Would she be examining her own thoughts and feelings with this level of maturity? No, she would not. But you are because you’ve grown Luna. You’ve been changed by your experiences and you’re changing still. You’re not the pony you once were. None of us are. You won’t slide backwards into old habits or old grievances because we’ve both matured and learned from what happened last time. Neither of us will let the other slip.”
“Thou wouldst be mine guardian?”
“If you’ll be mine. I treated you terribly, Luna. I didn’t act like your sister. I acted like an an arrogant fool and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t see how you were feeling or help you deal with your insecurities. But this is not that time anymore, Luna. Things will be different this time.”
“Thou doth speak with such conviction.”
“Warranted conviction. We’ll look after each other, Luna.” I extend a wing, letting it hover over her shrunken back. “I … I need you, Luna. I can’t do this alone. What kept me going these past thousand years was the thought of seeing you again. I need you … dear sister.”
With something like a sigh, she leans back into my wing’s embrace. I close it around her, holding her close to me. She is stiff at first, but softens and finally melts against my side in a hug I have waited a millennia to enjoy.
“I missed you, Luna.”
“I did miss thee also, Celestia.”
My smile is so bright, it could be mistaken for the sun itself.