Anon II: The Second Part

by 23 KM To Nerdiness


Chapter 15: "Friendly" Training

"Ughhhh, I'm not sure if I can do this, Anon-"

"Less talky, more strutty!" you bark.

You and Spirit are chilling on the cushy couch observing a clumsy Wallflower flipping and flopping across the floor. The little colt is having the time of his life as you bark at the slightest mistake made, making the mare do move after move like it's a mashup of Just Prance, playing different songs that throw off what little rhythm she had.

Soon, a humming Starlight trots in, catching you and Wally's attention. "Starlight, HELP!" the mare squeals.

"Quiet, you! Now cha cha real smooth! And continue reciting the Dancer's Pledge of Allegiance!"

"O-One nation under a groove, getting down just for the f-funk of it. One nation and we're on the m-move, nothing can stop us now!"

The unicorn winces and looks at the twisted up Wally. "You said you weren't a dancer, didn't you?"

The pony pretzel falls on her side groaning.

"Don't worry, I made the same mistake."

[Hey, just be glad I didn't make you floss. That's the ultimate punishment!]

"Whatever, Star. What's the sitch?"

"So, Fang said he'll let us go on our way-"

"Oh, good news."

"If we.......bring in the crowds." she winces.

"WHAT?!" you and Wally exclaim.

"We worked out a deal: he'll let some of the children enroll into the school if we 'fill those seats' and all that."

"W-Why US though?"

"Apparently, we're very popular at the moment." Star claims, holding a wrinkly newspaper in her magic.

"Crap, my eyes were closed!"

"But I dunno, he sure must has a thing for HORNS, though. Kept staring at mine for a........slightly alarming amount of time." the unicorn ponders. "Anyways, no red flags there."

Suddenly, a short, grey-coated dog with adorkable glasses stumbles into the room. "H-Hi there, assistant toadie Kibbles, at your service!" she salutes proudly with a cute little lisp. "Fang requests that you two report to the training grounds."

"Seriously?" you groan. "My BACK is still recovering from me being used as a projectile. I need some time to chillax for a bi- OW!!!" You slap at the sharp pain in your spine as you turn to a sly Wally, who's carrying a skinny thorn in her teeth. "Lazy 'hyewmuns' need lazy lavender." she states smugly. "Got two more of these."

Before you could protest, that warm, numbing feeling spreads throughout your entire body. "N-No! I don't WANNA go!"

"Come on, Anon." Starlight sighs, magically dragging you out of the room. "Stop acting like a foal."

"Gah dah!"

"Oop, no offense, Spirit."


"That'll be it. Welcome to the Killiseum." Kibbles says warmly, letting Starlight through the gates before turning to you. "Name?"

"Anonymous Unknown." you state.

"Okay, sex?"

[Yes, please.]

"Male."

The dog scribbles down in her notepad. "Alrighty then, race?"

['Merica!]

"Human."

"Occupation?"

"Dance Master."

"ANON!!!" Starlight barks.

"Fine, fine. Janitor." you groan.

"Any special abilities?"

"Kar-ah-tay and music mojo!"

The little pup mutters, continuing her enthusiastic scribbling. "Okay, that'll be it, thank you. Welcome to the Killiseum."

You follow your unicorn pal into the crowdless arena where a few guard dogs are sparring and roughhousing with one another. There, you two find a large array of badass weaponry from axes to maces to clubs to swords and shields, none of which were covered in blood, surprisingly.

And yet, there was no oversized key...

Suddenly, you're alerted by a dog's yelp.

"Oh, dog." Kibbles scurries over towards an unconscious guard, who has a wooden club against his noggin, with a tiny first aid kit.

"Oof, thought their heads were a little........HARDER, if you know what I mean." Star winces.

"Yeah, I tried to have some protective helmets issued here but Mr. Fang turned it down." the li'l pup sighs. "Says it 'weakens the suspense' or something like that."

"I always keep someone in suspense." you state proudly.

"How, Anon?" your pal scoffs.

"..."

"H-How, Anon?"

"..."

"ANON?" the unicorn pauses and smacks her forehead.

"My point exactly."

A salty Star bats you in the head with a silver shield. "Just hush up and knuckle down, because that's where you're going!"

"Pfft, what, is that supposed to be, your trash tal-"

Soon, you duck behind the shield as the unicorn chucks an axe at it, slamming you down on your ass.

"Ugh, what was that for, you could've gave me a heart attack!" you gasp.

Actually, you should've been dead years ago, but your heart was WAY too lazy to attack you. Starlight aims the long weapon at your chest, a cocky grin on her face. "Ha ha, you are no match for me!"

But you weren't gonna just sit there and get beaten like eggs at IHOP.

Catching the mare off guard, you knock the sword aside and backflip into a karate stance, Captain America style. "Bring. It."

"Oh, I will."

The powerful equine soon surrounds herself with every weapon on the shelf, aiming every single one your way, all with the most devious smile that'll rival the Grinch.

[Time to nut up or shut up.]

There, you expose both of your special abilities in one epic combo. Using your music's rhythm and kung fu expertise, you spin kick a long sword out of Starlight's magic grasp, grab the weapon's handle and parry an incoming spear down. Despite your alert awesomeness, your pal wasn't giving up so easily. Her horn shines brightly as she flings sword after mace after axe after spear, each you narrowly deflect away. As far as you were concerned, this was better than 'Into the Dragon'.

"Heh, i-is that all you got, Glimmy? Afraid you can't take me head on?"

"Ha, it's your hospital bill, Anon."

Your pal drops all but a thick, shiny sword and charges in with an aggressive attack. Every strike she deals stings your hands and nearly grazes your chest as she begins to push you back toward the edge of the platform. Before you could react, Glimmy disarms you and holds you from both sides with both weapons, fire in her eyes. "W-Whoa, STAR! Aren't you getting just a LITTLE bit carried away here?"

"What? Afraid you're gonna lose?" she laughs maniacally. "Afraid that you're no match for me?"

"Sure, you may be more powerful than me, but-" You leap over the pony as she slashes at where you stood, land on her back and lightly scratch behind her ears. "Nopony is immune to THESE!"

Starlight was immediately putty in your hands, dropping everything in her grip, falling to the ground and sighing in delight as you work your own magic. "You feelin' alright, Star?" you ask, rubbing up and down the mare's back.

"Y-Yeah......I-I feel a little funny." she moans. "Why do you ask?"

"W-What do........but you........j-just tried to..............never mind." you sigh.

"Ugh, feel dirty too."

[GOOD.]

"BISCUIT BREAK!!!" Kibbles exclaims cheerfully. The other dogs roar in excitement as they shove their way towards the small pup, who's carrying a tray of dusty, bone-shaped biscuits. The quirky canine ducks through all the chaos towards you both. "Care for some?"

[Dude, you can't deny puppy eyes!]

You both figure 'what the hay' and take one. However, the crust dust that slides off the treat as you lift it to your mouth did deter you. It's made even worse, however, when you feel your teeth being filed down with every bite.

"What do you think?"

You shield your face and gag for a few seconds before composing yourself. "It's a'ight." you state nonchalantly.

"Word of advice: add baking powder." Star gags.

"Baking powder?"

You feel the rocky treat hit your gut like a bomb. "Yup, LOTS of baking powder." you groan.

The chipper puppy writes down a few notes as she escorts you, Star and the other rowdy mutts out of the arena and through the maze-like hallways. Amidst all the crowding dogs, Kibbles directs you both towards a dark, stony, unfamiliar hallway.

"Ugh, what is that SMELL?!" the unicorn coughs.
"Smells like a fish died and all the other fish sent flowers." you add.

"Kibbles must've- COUGH pointed in the wrong direction."

"Y-Yeah, we should-"

Something shiny catches your eye.

[SHINAYYY!!!]

"I know THAT look!" your pal barks, magically restraining you. "We are NOT staying here, it literally stinks."

"Least it isn't Discord's cheese wheels. Now, let's get through this quickly.......and quietly."

"Now, remind me WHY we are just mindlessly searching a dark and spooky cave? This isn't-"

"SHH!" you cut her off. "Star, it's the rugged adventurer way. You wouldn't understand."

"But that doesn't add-"

"SHH!"

"It's-"

"SHH!"

"I-"

"SHH!"

"Would-"

"SHH! Knock knock..."

"Who's there-"

"SHH!"

"Look-"

"Let me sing you a little song about a mare named- SHH! SHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"Fine." she groans.

"..."

"..."

"SHH!"

"I didn't say anything!"

"Had to be sure."

"It's not like we're gonna get in TROUBLE, or anything!"

[You just HAD to say that...]

Soon, you're both surrounded by tons of glowing red eyes lurking in the darkness, followed by low, beastly growls.

".......oops." Star gulps.