//------------------------------//
// Twilight And The Wet Eight 
// Story: Twilight's Bookless Week (Celestia Help Us!!) 
// by ThePinkedWonder 
//------------------------------//

Well, this was becoming an...interesting week. I bet Twilight that she couldn't go a week without reading any books and she actually took the bet, which to be honest surprised me. If I win, she'll buy Spike and me each "The L-a-a-a-z-y Colt Five-Thousand" bed that we've wanted, but she says isn't worth the bits and thus refuses to buy for us. 

But if Twi wins, I'll have to reorganize the books in her library, every other week, for two months, which would be a nightmare because she has so many! But, of course, she'd have to last the full week, which wouldn't be easy. As the first five days of our bet went on, she fell more and more apart, and one of the world-famous (for bronies) Twilight Sparkle breakdowns seemed to be imminent.



 Now in the early afternoon of day six of Twilight's bookless week, after I got done having some fun at Applejack's farm with Apple Bloom, when she showed off her potions to me, I returned to Twilight's castle, along with Applejack. As soon as we went through its front doors, our noses picked up a sweet aroma of what smelled like lemons, stopping us in our tracks and we both gasped. The floor had little spots of water on it. Water ran off the walls and windows and it dripped from the tables and the ceiling in the room. There was even water on the stairs. Heh, I wonder who wanted to clean everything, with lemon-smelling soap?

Spike, with water dripping off him too, was lying on the floor panting, but stood up once he saw us walk in and yelled, "Eric, Applejack! Twilight keeps cleaning everything in the castle! You better get out of here!"

"Spike? What happened in here, and why in tarnation are ya so wet?"

"And why do we need to get out of here if Twi's cleaning everything in the castle? Sure, she can be a bit OCD about that, especially now, but..."

"No, it's not that she's just cleaning everything, but she keeps cleaning everything, and I mean everything she sees!" Spike tried to take some steps towards Applejack and me, but he slipped and fell on his back. "Oh, no, no, no!"

Before Applejack or I could ask Spike if he was okay and why he yelled "oh, no, no, no!" Twilight teleported herself in front of us, along with a bathtub full of water and bubbles, too small for a full-grown pony or me, but big enough for something the size of Spike, as well as three white rags. Twi suddenly teleporting in the room made me yelp and jump backward, and man did she not look good! Her mane and tail were even more of a mess than before, her mane looked "spiky", both her eyelids were wider than normal and they twitched almost non-stop. She now had bloodshot eyes, her pupils moved independently in random directions, and her head turned just as randomly in one direction after another. Twi had a creepy as buck smile, a crazed giggle even came out of her mouth, and was flapping her wings to keep herself airborne by about a foot.

Yep, Twilight Sparkle has finally lost it, and is in full-blown "Lesson Zero" mode.

But it was at this moment I realized that it's less funny, and a lot scarier, when you're in the sight of the pony, in range of her magic, and not safely watching her on your TV. I gulped and Twilight, after about five seconds, slowly turned her head to Spike, grabbed and pulled him to her with her magic with him yelling at her to let him go and, with a splash, dumped Spike into the bathtub she bought with her! With a creepy, manic laugh that made chills go down my back, Twilight proceeded to wipe Spike all over with one of the rags she still held with her magic to "clean" him, while dunking him completely in the water a few times in-between wipes, with drops of water splashing on the floor around the tub.

"Twilight! I'm *cough* clean already, so quit it!"

"But you have a speck of dirt on you, Spike, and it just needs to be cleaned!"

After ten seconds of dunking, flipping, and wiping Spike in that tub, Twilight lifted him up, released her magical grip while he was still in the air, and he fell to the floor on his stomach with a wet thud. With Spike coughing and gasping for air, Twi's twitching eyes locked in on Applejack and me, and that creepy smile on her face grew bigger. Oh, this could end badly.

"Uh, Twi...what's goin' on in that head of yours...?"

"And, big sis, why are you staring at us like that...?"

Twilight's horn glowed, making my heart skip a beat, and she fired a purple beam in front of her at the floor. A much bigger bathtub, about two feet high, five feet long, and about a foot wide, appeared in that spot on the floor and like the small one, it was full of water and bubbles. Twi asked in a crazed voice, "You two were at the farm and it has a lot of messy, messy dirt, right?"

"Uh, yeah, we were, but--"

As Applejack was saying that, I was busy turning around to the door behind me that Applejack and I just walked through, and was about to run for it! But Twilight's an Alicorn, and if an Alicorn doesn't want you to go anywhere, unless a pony like Starlight Glimmer's around to teleport you out of here, you're going nowhere. 

Thus, before either Applejack or I could even take a step, we both found ourselves surrounded by pink magic and pulled through the air towards Twilight. As it happened, Applejack's hat got levitated off her head, the white hat on my head with a design of my friends' Cutie Marks did the same thing, my white shirt was pulled off over my head, my shoes came off my feet, and both Applejack and I were thrown into that bathtub! Barely able to move in Twilight's magical grip, Applejack and I both got flipped around and dumped in and out of the water, with water splashing on the floor, while we coughed and yelled whenever our heads surfaced the water. Twi wiped me with a different rag that she used on Spike, on my head, chest, back, arms, and the lower part of my legs. Applejack got wiped in a similar way with one of the other rags. Like she did during Spike's "bath", Twi laughed in manic fashion that made me think about Midnight Sparkle. 

"Twilight, have *cough* you lost your mind?! Let *cough* us go!"

"Yeah! And we all know you're *cough* the closest I have to *cough* an Equestrian mom, but this is *cough* overdoing it, Twilight!" 

Twilight paid us no mind or, in her current state, the pony simply didn't care, and she just kept on dunking us in that bathtub and wiping us with her rags, while crazily laughing. After about ten seconds, the Princess of forced bathing finally lifted Applejack and me from the tub and, like with Spike, released her magical grip while we were still in the air, making us hit the floor on our stomachs with a wet thud, coughing, gasping for air, and dripping water. Oh, and in case you're wondering, Twilight didn't try to take my pants off. Even in such a freaked-out state, she knows to never do that. And go ahead and get any jokes out of your system about me taking a bath with a mare.

"Now you two are clean!" Twilight crazily declared, then teleported herself, the white rags and both the smaller and larger tubs somewhere.

Spike shook his head and stood up. "I tried to tell you two to get out of here."

"*pant* *pant*...okay, I knew Twilight was startin' to lose it because of that silly bet she has goin' with Eric, but I didn't know she was this bad." 

I got off my stomach and stood up. "And the way Twi is now, we're gonna be getting those beds, Spike, so these 'baths' will be worth it."

Applejack, getting up from her stomach, muttered, "Speak for yourselves."

"Ha, you two should count yourselves lucky. At least you guys haven't gotten three baths, like I got from her. And it's not any easier after the first time."

"Wait, she did that to you three times?!" Thinking about what Spike said about getting three baths, I took a few steps, but I wasn't as careful as I should've been. My left foot slipped on the still-wet floor, and I fell flat on my back.

"Are you okay, Eric?" Spike walked up to check on me, but after three steps he slipped and landed on his back too.

"Whoa, there, be care--" Applejack slipped and joined Spike and me on the floor, but on her stomach.

Twilight suddenly teleported herself in front of us, with the tub she gave Applejack and me a "bath" in, along with the three wet rags she just used, staring at the three of us with that crazy smile again. 

Applejack pointed her hoof at Twilight and ordered, "Twilight, don't you dare!"

Of course, it did nothing. The next thing we knew, Spike, Applejack and I got pulled to Twilight by her magic and she, while laughing crazily, threw all three of us in that tub again. Twi flipped, dunked and wiped us with her rags, with water splashing out of the tub, while we yelled and coughed whenever our heads were above water.

"Twilight, why are you *cough* doing this again?! This is my *cough* fourth time!"

Applejack threatened, "Twilight Sparkle, if you *cough* don't let us go right now--!"

"But you three fell on the floor, so I gotta get that messy, messy dirt off you!"

"What 'dirt'?! You *cough* already have the floor spotless, mom! Leave *cough* us alone!"

"Nope, not till you're niiiiice and clean, but don't worry, it won't take much longer!"

Ten seconds of that bath, Twilight lifted the three of us out of the tub, released her magical grip on us the same way as before, so we hit the floor on our stomachs again with a wet thud, dripping water, coughing and panting. Then, with a giggle, she teleported herself, her tub and rags somewhere again.

I turned my head to Spike and admitted, "Spike, you weren't kidding about it not being any easier after the first time."

"Told you."

"Okay, Spike, Eric, we gotta do somethin' about Twilight before she--"

We heard some knocking on the door to the castle, and as I put my shirt, hat and shoes back on, with Applejack doing the same with her hat, Spike walked to the door, while looking down to not step on a part of the floor that's particularly wet. When he opened it, a smiling Rarity was there.

"Hello there, Spikey-Wikey," Rarity greeted, but frowned when she saw Spike, Applejack and me, and for that matter the whole castle dripping water. "And why are you three wet?"

Spike answered, "It's because of Twilight! She's cleaning everything she sees, and I mean everything she sees!"

"Yeah, so you better get out of here, Rarity!"

Instead of taking my warning, Rarity tilted her head a bit to the side and asked, "She's cleaning 'everything she sees'? Whatever do you three mean by--"

Twilight, along with that tub she used on Applejack, Spike and me, a dry white rag, and with that 'smile', teleported back in the room! But this time Twi stared at Rarity.

"Umm, Twilight? Is there something wrong?"

"You were busy making dresses earlier, and worked up a sweat, right, Rarity?"

"Well, I don't know if I 'worked up a sweat', but--"

Twilight's creepy smile got bigger, and yelled, "That's all I need to hear!"

Now Rarity found herself surrounded by pink magic and was pulled to a "laughing" Twilight, who proceeded to dunk her in the tub! Like she did with Spike, Applejack and me, Twi flipped and dunked Rarity in and out of the water, wiped her head, back, legs, and stomach, and Rarity coughing and yelling when her head was above water.

"T-Twilight! What is *cough* the meaning of this?! Release me right now!"

"Nope, nope! I gotta get that messy, messy sweat off you, Rarity!"

With Rarity screaming and coughing, Twilight continued to dunk, lift, and wipe her with a rag for about ten seconds. Once Twi was done with Rarity, she lifted her out of the tub and dropped her on the floor with a wet thud, with the poor Unicorn coughing, panting, dripping water, and her normally "glorious" mane drooped downwards.

"There you go, Rarity! All that messy, messy sweat is gone now!" Twilight teleported away with the tub and rag again.

Applejack shook her head. "We tried to tell ya to leave."

After her coughing and panting stopped, Rarity asked, "Not that I don't mind being clean, but can somepony please explain what was that about?"

"What's going on is the bet I made with Twilight has made her go nuts!

"You mean about her not reading for a week?"

Spike, Applejack and I all replied, "Yep!"

Rarity stood up, with water still dripping from her drooped mane. "I see. But she can't keep doing things like that, so we need to do something before she--"

We heard another knock on the door. This time, I, walking and looking down the same way Spike did to make sure I wouldn't slip, opened the door, and it was Rainbow Dash on the other side.

"Hey, is Twilight here?" Rainbow looked around to see everything, including everyone in the room dripping water. "And why are you four and everything so wet?"

I explained, "To answer your first question, Rainbow, oh yeah, Twilight's here all right. And second, everything's all wet because of her. She's cleaning everything she sees, and I mean everything she sees!"

"Yeah, so ya better get out of here while ya still can, Rainbow!" Applejack warned.

"But why would I--"

Twi again teleported herself in the room, with her tub, a dry white rag, and stared at Rainbow with that creepy smile.

"Uh...Twilight? What are you thinking?"

"With all the flying you do, Rainbow, you gotta have some messy, messy dust particles on you from the air, right?

"Wait, 'dust particles'? I mean I guess I do, but--"

That was all Twilight needed to hear. She pulled Rainbow to her, threw her in the tub, gave her a bath, with Rainbow yelling and coughing when her head was above water. Again, Twilight was laughing in her crazy, manic voice that I should have her promise to never do again, once she's back to her senses.

"Okay, Twilight, I'm clean! Let me go!"

"But I gotta clean every dust particle off you, Rainbow! It's what a gooood friend does!"

After ten seconds, Twilight got every "dust particle" off Rainbow and dropped her on the floor with a wet thud, with Rainbow coughing, panting and dripping water, then teleported away with her tub and rag.

"We tried to tell you to leave, Rainbow," Rarity said while shaking her head.

"Okay, what is her deal?!"

"The 'deal' is that Twilight's gone out of her mind without her books!" Applejack explained.

But before Rainbow could say that we should do something about Twilight, we heard another knock on the door. This time, Rarity went to it, carefully, and Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy were there, and Pinkie was doing her trademark hopping, complete with the "springing" sound effect it does.

Before they even tried to greet us, Applejack warned, "Guys, I gotta tell ya that Twilight's cleanin' everythin' she sees, and I mean everythin' she sees!"

"So you two need to leave before it's too late!" Rarity said.

"Wait, she's 'cleaning everything'?"

Pinkie rubbed her head. "And why would we need to--"

Twilight teleported herself, with "the smile" the tub and had two dry white rags this time, with her eyes on Pinkie and Fluttershy.

"Fluttershy, you gotta have a lot of messy, messy dirt from cleaning your animals, and Pinkie, I bet you worked up a sweat from all the hopping you do, right?

"Uh, after cleaning Angel, I guess I have a bit of--"

Yep, here we go again. Twilight didn't even give Pinkie a chance to say anything; while giving "the laugh" she simply grabbed both her and Fluttershy, threw them in the tub, and gave them "the royal treatment" that I hoped she wouldn't give me again!

"Twiiiilight! I already *cough* took a bath!"

"Not that I don't appreciate this, Twilight *cough* but I can take my own bath!"

"But you can never be too careful, Pinkie! And helping others is something a gooood friend does, Fluttershy, so I'll do it for you!"

Ten seconds of that bath, the Princess of Gooood Friendship lifted and dropped both Pinkie and Fluttershy to the floor with a wet thud, then teleported the tub, two rags, and herself out of the room. Like the rest of us were when Twi got done with us, Pinkie and Fluttershy lay on the floor, coughing, panting, and dripping water from their drooped manes.

Rainbow shook her head. "We tried to tell you two to leave."

Pinkie shook herself off, sending drops of water in every direction, making the rest of us have to raise a hoof or arm up to try to cover ourselves. "Okay, what just happened?"

"Twilight's lost her mind is what happened!" Rarity replied.

Spike bought up, "You know, if Discord were here, he'd probably enjoy all this...chaos."

Seemingly on cue, Discord teleported himself in the room, and asked, "Did somepony say 'chaos'?" Discord looked around, saw everything and everyone dripping water, though Pinkie wasn't dripping as much. "Ooh, what happened here? It looked like" -- Discord snapped his fingers and with a poof, a cloud appeared over all of us except himself -- "you had a shower in here." Discord snapped his fingers again and the clouds vanished with another poof.

"Discord, Twilight is cleaning everything in the castle that she sees, and I mean everything she sees!"

"Yeah, what Rarity said, so you better get out of here!" Rainbow warned.

"Well, as long as she doesn't try to bug me" -- Discord snapped his fingers and what looked like a roach appeared beside him for a second -- "like she kept doing the last three days, then I don't care what little miss cleaning--"

"Little miss cleaning" teleported herself, her tub and a dry rag, and by now you can probably guess who she was staring at, with her biggest, craziest looking smile yet. Oh, boy, this could be interesting!

"Hi there, Discord. That chaos realm of yours gotta be messy, messy, right?"

"Wait, 'messy'? What, you think I don't--"

In what should make every "Top Ten Moments of MLP:FIM" list ever if this is on TV, Twilight grabbed Discord with her magic, pulled him to her, and threw him in the tub! With Discord coughing any time his head was above water, Twilight wiped him all over with the rag, dunked him in and out of the water, with water splashing everywhere. Yep, Princess Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship, gave Discord, The Lord of Chaos, a bath, and for some reason, Twilight's laugh was even more creepy and crazed than before.

This was just too good. We couldn't believe what we were seeing, and our eyes were wide open!

"Twilight Sparkle! Have *cough* you gone crazy?!"

"We don't spend much time together, Discord, so I need to make it up to you by cleaning you up!"

Ten seconds of that bath, Twilight lifted and dropped Discord to the floor, with a wet thud, with him panting and coughing. Twi, once again, teleported her tub, rag, and herself away.

Pinkie shook her head. "We tried to tell you to get out of here."

Seeing Discord lying on the floor, dripping water, coughing and panting, knowing it was because Twilight gave him a bath, I couldn't help but laugh and said, "You know, Discord? With all the times you tried to get under Twilight's skin, you deserved that."

Discord coughed a few more times, tilted his head to the left, and water poured out of his left ear. "And you say the 'people' in your world call me a 'troll', Eric." Discord stood up. "All right, what is her deal?!"

"Twilight's 'deal' is that she lost her mind!" Rainbow answered.

Spike suggested, "Guys? We better get out of here before she comes back and gets more ideas."

We all agreed, and took a step at nearly the same time. Because of the...chaos just now, we forgot to walk carefully, and we all slipped and fell on the wet floor with a wet thud. Spike, Discord, and I fell on our backs, and the five mares fell on their stomachs. 

Knowing what's about to happen to us, and we'll be powerless to stop it, I groaned and smacked the floor with my right hand. "Buck!"

Yep, Momlight returned, and her creepy as buck smile looked even creepier, but this time she didn't have the tub. She only had eight wet white rags with her. She must've already known the bathtub she used before would be way too small and, with a beam of purple magic, Twi made a much bigger one as soon as she teleported into the room. This one was about fifteen feet long, two feet wide, but as tall as the other one she was using: two feet.

With Twilight staring at us, as Discord said, "Uh, no. I'm out!" he snapped his fingers and teleported himself out of the castle. It's almost too bad that half the beings in Equestria didn't disappear with that snap, as long as I was one of them, just so I could get away from that crazy but powerful pony!

Speaking of whom, Twi didn't give us a chance to even say anything, let alone try to escape. She grabbed Spike, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and me with magic, took Applejack's and my hat off again as well as my shirt and shoes, threw us into that tub and gave us all a ten-second bath again, with us coughing and yelling at her to let us go. Obviously, Twilight wasn't going to let us go till she wanted to. After she finished our bath, Twilight dropped all seven of us on the floor with a wet thud, teleported herself away, along with that huge tub and eight rags, leaving us to once again cough and pant to catch our breaths.

"Spike, just in case she does that again, is it any easier the fourth time?"

"Nope, and it's not after the fifth time either, Eric."

Rainbow rubbed her head. "And she could at least not drop us on the floor."

Applejack stood up. "Okay, Twilight is out-of-control, so we gotta get her to--"

Screaming and insane laughing, that seemed to come from Starlight's room, echoed throughout the whole castle. The Mane Five, Spike, and I, who might've well been "The Wet Seven" right now, had a feeling of what was going on. After Applejack and I put our hats back on and I put on my shirt and shoes again, we walked slowly through the hallways of the castle to Starlight's room to see if we were right, though the screaming and laughing stopped around twenty seconds before we got there. We would've run, but we didn't want to risk slipping on the floor again and get another bath from our "mom", whether we like it or not.

Once we got to the doorway of Starlight's room, inside it, we saw a wet white rag and the "mid-sized" white tub in the room, in front of the "no equal" sign Starlight still have hanging on the wall near the door, half-filled with water and bubbles, with the part of the floor around it wet. Starlight, with her mane drooped down and dripping water, lay in front of us, on her stomach beside the tub, still coughing, but not panting much. Twilight was nowhere in sight, and seemed to not need the tub anymore since she left it in Starlight's room...not that I was complaining about it!

"Starlight, are you all right?" Fluttershy asked.

"You got a bath from 'mom' didn't you, Starie?"

"First, yeah I'm all right, Fluttershy. And second, you think, Eric?!"

"Ouch, grumpy, weren't we?" You know, no matter how nice Starlight is and how close we are, it's not smart to tease that Unicorn when she's in bad mood, and she glared at me and growled.

Before Starlight could get too mad, Rainbow suggested, "We better ask Twilight if she wants to give in to that bet she has going with Eric and give her a book, so she'll calm down."

But Twilight teleported herself behind us and yelled, "Nope, I'm not giving in, Rainbow! Spike and Eric aren't getting those beds!" Twilight ran through the hallways of the castle, flew out an open window, with an insane laugh, while the rest of us watched. If the window weren't already open, she might've flown through the glass!

"Twi's not gonna make it, Spike. I can hardly wait for my first night on the 'L-a-a-a-z-y Colt Five Thousand'."

"Uh, Eric? I hate to interrupt yer fantasies of that bed ya and Spike want so bad, but were ya even watchin' Twilight just now?! She's gone crazier than somepony tryin' to cut down apple trees!"

"Applejack's right, Eric. She's lost it!" Pinkie agreed.

"Yes, let us forget that bet! We need to stop Twilight before she does something serious!" Rarity scolded.

Yeah...I was so busy thinking about that bed, I almost forgot about just how bad Twilight was freaking-out, till Applejack, Pinkie, and Rarity talked some sense into me, and I facepalmed. "I'm sorry, guys. I don't know what the buck was wrong with me. With the magic Twilight has and the state she's in, who knows what she'll do to Ponyville?"

"Yeah, so let's go after her!" Spike ordered.

So we wouldn't have to be "The Wet Eight", Starlight used her magic to dry all of us off, and we sped out of the castle to find and somehow stop Twilight. But with Twilight Sparkle going "Lesson Zero" level crazy, and with the incredible magical power that Alicorn has, even with Starlight Glimmer's help, this might not end well.

But at least Twilight's not a "villain", so it's not like she'd blow up Ponyville or something with her magic...would she?