Smooth Criminal

by dudenotactive


Roman's New Tricks

"How about we wear moustaches?" Suggested Brie.

Both Roman and the pizza pony were currently in the hideout, which was the nightclub's basement. Torchwick had invited Brie to figure out how to sneak out of the city, with all the heat on him right now, it was not going well since Roman was paranoid after Ozpin's reveal. The thief was on edge, but thankfully there was a silver lining in the clouds, Perry is at Ponyville. So he and Brie needed a way out ASAP.

While this was happening, back at top with Scarlet, the mare was currently interviewing two ponies for security, it was going well-ish.

"You two used to work at an art museum?" Scarlet looks towards the two with a single brow raised.

The stallion nodded. "Yeah, but because somepony wanted to see a movie, which was meh, they got us both fired."

"Oh would you shut up with that!?" The mare snaps at him. "First of all, that was you who wanted to see the movie, not me!"

"Hey!" Scarlet slams her hoof against the bar top. "I'm looking for security guards, not two couples nagging each other's ears off!"

The two quickly looks away, embarrassed by their action.

"Back to the wages. Does 5k a week sound good to you?" Both ponies nearly snapped their neck at the speed they turned their head to just stare at her, dumbfounded by her offer, quickly they both nodded rapidly, the two of them could not form any words, too shock by the pay the bar pony had offered. "Good. But I don't really care for names, so I'm just gonna call you grunt A and B, is that okay?"

The stallion now known as A nods faster. "You can call me Celestia's donkey for all I care!"

Grunt B at least had much more dignity than her partner, she straighten her back to show a bit of professional picture. "It's fine. When do we start?"

"Tomorrow night, be here at six." Scarlet said as she took out two iconic uniforms from under her bar top, a black suit jacket with a black shirt, the next thing was a black fedora and red tie, right at the top of it was a pair of crimson red shades. Scarlet hands it over to them, they quickly took their uniforms with glee. "These were suggested by my business advisor, always wear these when you're about to come in for work. Got it?"

"Sure thing boss!" A saluted to her.

B quickly shoved her elbow into his ribs. "Yes boss."

Scarlet shook her head. "None of this 'boss' stuff, call me Scarlet... No, you two call me Junior. Now get lost!"

A and B stood up from their seats before heading towards the exit, Scarlet heard B mutter something but the stallion slaps the back of her head, this caused them to start arguing as they leave the nightclub. The unicorn let out a deep sigh as she leans against her bar top, the reason why those two were getting a large pay was because they were the only ones who had answered her ad, she looks towards the door where she keeps her drinks. She could faintly hear Roman and Brie giving out ideas on how to get out of the city, Scarlet smirks as she thought out an idea where she just ties the thief on a ballista, then shoot it directly at Ponyville. Before she could even go down to tell Roman her joke plan, the front doors suddenly swung open as a blue mare burst in, fireworks popping as she entered.

"It is I, the great and powerful Trixie!" The unicorn loudly introduced herself to the only occupant of the room, Scarlet.

"Trixie, what are you doing here? I'm not open yet." Scarlet plants her elbow on the bar top as she leans her head against her hoof, her face shifted from bored to much more bored. "Or are you finally gonna pay your tab? I really hope its the latter, it's racking up quite a bit."

Trixie walks over to the mare, head held high. "Nay, Trixie is here for this!" She presented an ad for a DJ, which was from Scarlet herself. "The great and powerful Trixie wishes to apply for this, she is very talented for this role, Trixie was even in that one event, you know, the one with that famous singer!"

"And that is?"

"Songbird Serenade! Trixie is one of her good friends you know?"

"You don't have friends." Scarlet said flatly.

Trixie stutters back. "W-wha!? Who says that Trixie does not have friends!? Trixie has plenty of friends, famous and amazing such as her, but not more amazing than Trixie!"

"Trixie," Scarlet began speaking with her trottingham accent as she started walling around her bar to face the other unicorn. "you drink here, like a lot. And every time you come here, you always drunkenly complain about Twilight, you always talk about how you are superior in every way, that you could easily defeat her in magic duels. You always start the same rant when you drink, and it always ends the same as well, you crying."

Scarlet leans forward to Trixie's face with a frown on her own, while Trixie glared at the bar mare. "T-Trixie does not cry! She is too emotionally strong to do such things!"

"Keep telling yourself that! The only reason why I even let you come here is because I had pity for you, but I'm tired, tired of your constant complaining and breakdowns! Right now, I'm trying to get this place and myself to the top, so I don't want you around here being a lonely nobody anymore!"

Scarlet breaths heavily as she glared at the blue unicorn, as for Trixie, she just stared at Scarlet, tears threatening to fall. "I-if you don't want me around, then maybe I should go." She took a few steps, but turns around to face Scarlet. "Trixie is leaving, but not because you told her so, it's because Trixie doesn't like this place anyways!"

"Then get lost you useless excuse for an insect!"

Before Trixie could shout back an insult, the two unicorns were interrupted by the sound of hooves clapping, both turn towards the door leading down below, there stood on two hooves was Roman Torchwick, a smirk on his face.

"Bravo, bravo!" He ceased his clapping and walked over to Trixie's side, the unicorn stared in disbelief. "What a fantastic performance! How spectacular, truly has me blown away with the emotion you both give out, it was enough to even bring me to tears!"

"Roman Torchwick!?" The show pony said, too shocked by the turn of events to say anything else.

"Roman!" Scarlet said through her clenched teeth. "What are you doing here!?"

Roman wraps an arm or leg around Trixie, who was still stunned by his sudden presence. "Well, I heard shouting from up here, so I was curious as to what was happening, and here I find you telling this random pony to get lost, that won't do at all." He turns towards Trixie. "I'm very sorry for what she did, though I feel like I've seen you before, could you perhaps introduce yourself?"

The mare could not believe her eyes, the thief of Canterlot was currently speaking with her, she wanted to run and inform the guards, but something was stopping her, and it wasn't the leg around her.

"I-I am the great and powerful Trixie Lulamoon, and Trixie d-demands that you let her go this instance!"

He gave out a chuckle as he motion Scarlet to the front doors, she reluctantly followed his request. "I'm sorry to say this Trixie, but your title is already taken." Roman lets her go as he took a seat on one of the stools. "Sit, let's have a nice long chat." He didn't wait for an answer as he uses his cane to hook and pull Trixie into the stool next to him. "Let us start, with you."

"W-what do you want?"

"To know your side of the story." She looks at him with confusion. "You see Trixie, I have heard a lot about you from a certain pink blabbermouth, and it wasn't nice, and that's why I wanted to know what had happened through your perspective."

Trixie's anger rose from the mentioning of a certain pink party pony, it was bad enough she was getting banned from the only place in Canterlot that serves her a drink, now she had to find out that Pinkie was insulting the mare behind her back, well that was actually what the unicorn understood from Roman.

"Those fools! It was their fault for Trixie's humiliation, if it weren't for them, then Trixie could have dealt with the beast!"

"But you didn't, care to explain why?" He rhetorically asked the mare. "The way I see it, Pinkie was right. You truly are as useless as they say, the fact that some random unicorn had bested you in something you claimed to have easily done, yet have been shown a fool to all, really embarrassing. That's my perspective, anything to add?"

"H-how dare you! Trixie will not take this from some lowlife criminal!"

"Well this lowlife is on every newspaper in the city, my name is known by almost everyone, and that took only a few days! Better than what Trixie had done."

"Trixie will not be insulted by you, she is far too great to even speak with a pony like you, Trixie shall now leave!" When she attempted to stand, Roman pressed the muzzle of his cane on her throat.

"Hold on now, it would be rude to leave when we just started our friendly chat, so stay in your seat." He nodded with satisfaction when the mare did not move an inch, frozen in fear by the weapon she had heard about. "Good. Now Trixie, I can't really let you go since you know about me and this nightclub, you could very much run straight to the royal guards and tell them my location."

"What are going to do to Trixie then?" She said as started sweating bullets.

"Well..." He leans uncomfortably close, a devilish smile on his face. "I was thinking about hiring help, and the job tends to be a hassle working alone."

Trixie could easily understand his plan, he is offering her a job opportunity as help, but since he would not let her leave, she was left with no other choice, so it was useless to think about it.

"Trixie... accepts..."

Roman stood up from his seat with a grin on his face, Scarlet who was listening to the whole conversation was glaring daggers at the thief. "Perfect! But before we start on a real project, hit me with this stool."

Trixie thought it was a strange request, but before she could do as he says, the one who did as the thief requested was Scarlet as she used the chance to release the anger inside her on Roman. But the stallion was barely fazed by her action as the stool shatters to dozens of pieces, Roman smirks as both unicorns were staring at him as if he had a second head on his shoulder, or because he was glowing orange.

"Not the woman I expected, but good enough. Now, you may be wondering how am I creating this glow, my answer is simple, aura." Roman said as he stops glowing. "What is aura? Well, it is an ability that anyone with a soul could use, and since no one is the same, everyone is unique be it by how they use it, or what their semblance are."

"Wait, w-what's a semblance?" The showmare said as she and Scarlet absorbed the new information.

"Ah, glad you asked, a semblance is a manifestation of one's personality or anything that could relate to your character, though haven't really discovered mine, I always thinked my semblance was luck. Back to the topic, aura could be used for many things such as self healing, to keep yourself from freezing, a ability to on a small radius around you to sense creatures watching you, or for defensive and offensive techniques."

"Excuse me, but why are suddenly telling us all this?" Scarlet demanded an answer from Roman, the stallion just smirked at her direction before facing Trixie.

"Because my good friend, I'm going to unlock Trixie's aura."

"Wait what!?" Both of them said at the same time, especially Trixie, she knows that her unicorn magic skill level is quite terrible, and now Roman is offering her a chance to be stronger than her weak self.

"That's right Trixie, as a job benefit for working under me, you my little pony are gonna be trained in the ways of my people!" He pressed a hoof on her chest causing the mare to yelp in surprise by the sudden action.

"W-what are you doing, you do not simply touch Trixie!"

"Easy there, I'm just gonna do the ritual to unlock your aura, so stay quiet, close your eyes and focus." He cleared his throat and when Trixie began glowing blue, Roman as well had began glowing again. "For it is in passing that we achieve immortality. Through this, we become a paragon of virtue and glory to rise above all, infinite in distance and unbound by death. I release your soul, and by my shoulder protect thee."

He mentally chanted, and the glowing had ceased before Trixie opens her eyes to see a grinning Roman, and a shocked Scarlet. Trixie was about to speak but Roman hits her on the head with his cane, she falls onto her back as she writhed in agony with her hooves clutching the top her head, her hat had came off of her as she fell.

"By Celestia, why!?" Trixie asked the thief, tears that was held back now finally falls.

"Lesson one on aura training: Always be prepared." He said as he pulls her back onto her hooves. "Next lesson, focus your aura on where it hurts and let it ease your pain."

Trixie did as she was instructed, she focused on her soul deep within her and she glows again, the pain slowly dissipates giving her a sense of relief. When she no longer felt the pain, Trixie looks towards Roman, a different feeling inside her, it was the feeling of true success. Not the ones she felt back in the day of her travels, but a real one, she felt as if her failing in unicorn magic was just a simple mistake that aura now corrected.

"I-I did it!" She said with stars in her eyes.

"You did it." Said Roman, with a big smile on his face, he picks up her hat and fixes it on top of her head. "Congrats Trixie, you are on your way to be famous just like me! I'm going to teach you the ways of aura, but we have to get started with your first job today."

"C-can't we train today!? Trixie still has more to learn about this aura! How can I use my semblance!?"

"Easy there Trixie, I will teach you all I know, sadly, I need you to sneak me out of the city and into Ponyville first, I have a meeting there and I don't want to miss it."

"Trixie shall do as you requested, but do you promise to make Trixie a powerful mare?"

"Yes, so let's start. You can go now Brie, I don't need you for today."

The door to the basement slowly swings open and out came a pegasus. "W-well alright then, see you when you need me Roman." Said Brie before he left for the door.

"Alright, back to the subject. How are you going to sneak me out?" Roman said as he sat back down on the stool.

Trixie thought about it for a minute, trying to think of a full proof plan on how she'll get him to Ponyville, her eyes landed on his cutie mark which gave her an idea.

"Eyes up here Trixie."

"T-Trixie was not doing anything so crass, she was only getting an idea on how to get you to Ponyville!"

"Alright then, shoot."

"Well, a pony is usually identified by their cutie marks, so my idea is to make a simple disguise that will help you get out of the city!"

"Alright, but a simple disguise won't be good when the guards are looking for a white pegasus with an orange mane. How will we easily pass them?"

The showmare once again thinks about her plan, trying to make it full proof, she looks up and finds her great and powerful hat on top of her head. "What if you were my assistant? We could easily slip pass the guards since I'm a traveling showmare, no pony would bat an eye when they see us pass through."

Roman smirks, to be honest, he had already devised his own plan, it was perfect one too, but the thief wanted to see if Trixie was useful more than an extra pair of hands. With the plan now ready, it was just time to execute it, and it was only eight in the morning.

"Before we do anything else though, we still have something else, Scar', say sorry to Trixie." Roman watches Scarlet scowl at him, and glared with an intent to maim the thief.

"Wait what!? Why do I have to say sorry to her!?"

"Because, she'll be part of this whole thing and I can't let you two have a problem with each other."

"I will not-"

"Shhh, no back talking."

Scarlet groans loudly before facing Trixie, who had a smug look on her face as Roman favored her side instead of Scarlet.

"I. Am. Sorry." She said as she felt a blood vessel pop by her anger.

"Trixie accepts, you are lucky Trixie is as forgiving as she is powerful."

"Happy, you insufferable piece of bird meat!?" She directed her question to Roman who was holding his scroll on his hoof with a smile on his face.

"Very."


An hour had passed, the time was currently ten in the morning, Roman who now in disguised with his mane comb back to reveal his other eye, his cutie mark was concealed by a fake which was a jack o lantern, a single pink streak was also on Roman's mane to make sure no one would identify him, his whole attire and his cane was in Trixie's wagon leaving the man turned pony to feel completely naked, and it was already embarrassing that he had to pull the wagon.

As for Trixie, she was walking close to his side as they both head towards the exit of the city, she kept asking Roman for more information about aura along the way, which started to irritate the stallion, but he can't regret it now, he needed to train her to stand against whatever Ozpin throws at him, and whatever else in this world, who knows what's out there.

Soon they could see a small group of guards by the road, it was an obvious checkpoint to look for him, a few pegusus guards were also patrolling in the far distance. As Roman pulled the wagon, he notices three familiar faces, the guards he spoke to on his second day, he groans silently, hoping that these fools would not remember him.

"Halt!" The same unicorn stood in his way. "Feather Storm sir! We got another one."

"Alright then!" Feather Storm descend from above, a scowl on his face as he inspected the two. "Where you two heading?" He said as the two earth ponies went around to check inside the wagon, Trixie began sweating as they open the doors and peaks inside.

"Ahem." Roman clears his throat, catching the guard's attention. "We sir are traveling entertainers, talented in both magic and more. Isn't that correct boss?"

"Yes, t-that is correct, I am the great and powerful Trixie!" Just as she said her name, she launches a few fireworks into the sky, the two earth ponies looks away from the wagon to watch it fly before exploding and creating the mare's face in the sky above. A few pegasus guards made sure to stay away from the explosion. "We are currently leaving the city to show more lucky ponies of Trixie's magnificent talent, and Trixie cannot wait any longer! How long shall this be? Time is slipping out of Trixie's hooves."

Feather Storm turns towards the two earth ponies. "Anything?"

"Nope." One said before shutting the door.

"Alright, move on now, we got another pony behind you."

The unicorn watches as the traveling pony leaves, he stares mostly at the pegasus, something about him really was familiar, but the guard just shrugs off the feeling as the next wagon came to a stop.

"That was exciting!" Trixie said as they made good enough distance from the guards, they were now on their way to Ponyville.

"Yes it was, but be warned, things are about to get much more exciting." He said as they continue towards the town, Roman looks back to the city and grins at how it was all too easy, for now that is. The thief was preparing himself for what ever Ozpin had in stored for their next meeting, Roman had also hope that he would get an upper hand before the time they meet again.