It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Me and Celestia had a stare down for what felt like years. I can feel my blood boiling just looking at her. I can feel the familiar trigger; similar to that of gripping a lever or putting you finger over a button. Something must have happened, because I can see her flinch and tense up; and in my peripheral I can see the others recoil in fear as well.
Before anything else can happen, Luna’s face takes over the focus of my vision. “Null. Control yourself.” I open my mouth to try and lie, say I wasn’t going to do anything, but she cuts me off. “Your eye is glowing.” My mouth clicks shut. I force my eyes shut and shake my head. The feeling of that trigger that I long for dissipates, and I rub my eyes before opening them. Looking around again, I can see everyone is still staring at me.
Luna grabs my hand with her magic, something that feels odd admittedly, and leads me to the table. I focus on my hand, trying to avoid looking at anyone. Luna takes a seat at the end of the table, opposite of her sister. I take the seat to her right, which happens to be next to Rainbow Dash. I ignore her, and stare at the empty seat across from me. I don’t know how long we sat like that. I could feel all their eyes on me; It was beginning to piss me off.
Eventually, one of them disrupts the silence with a cough. “So… Null, was it?” Twilight Sparkle asks timidly. I simply nod in response, trying to control my temper. She goes quiet, apparently not knowing what else to say.
Someone else speaks up. “U-um… Null? Can I ask you a question?” Too easy.
“You just did” I respond. I hear a small ‘oh’, and I decide not to be mean to her. Besides, she’s not Celestia. “I’m kidding. Go ahead and ask your question.”
“Oh, um. I was just wondering… W-what are you?” she questions.
“Human” I reply without looking from the empty chair. “The only one as far as I know.” I decide to tack on.
It goes quiet again. Until a certain someone opens their mouth. “Null. I want to apologize… I-”
I cut her off. “Shove it. I don’t want to hear it from you.”
Everyone gasps in shock, and she tries again. “Null, I’m trying to-”
I tear my gaze from the chair and glare at her, cutting her off again. “Your words are meaningless. Maybe you do feel bad, maybe you don’t. But why should I accept your apology? Just so you can clear your own guilty conscious and sleep easy at night? Hell no. You want me to forgive you? Kill yourself. Then maybe I’ll consider forgiving you.”
“NULL!” Luna yells at me.
I glare at Celestia for another moment, just long enough to see a tear form in her eyes, before I look away. “What do you want from me Luna?” I ask.
“I want to know why you won’t just accept her apology!” she demands.
I fix her with a glare. “Let me put this into perspective for you Luna. Would you forgive ME if I kill Celestia?”
She doesn’t respond. “Would you forgive Sombra for his assault on the Everfree Castle, and the countless lives he took? Would you forgive Tirek for stealing everyone's magic?”
Again, she doesn’t respond, but this time she looks down in sad realization. “One more, because maybe this one will hit a little closer to home. Would you forgive Nightmare Moon for what she did to you?”
She looks up at me with a look of pure shock, mixed with a little bit of anger. Everyone else gasps, and Celestia speaks up. “Null that’s enou-” I slam my hand on the table to interrupt her. Truth be told, it hurt a little; which is kinda concerning. I’ll have to remember to be careful. “Answer the question!”
Luna continues to look down, and with quiet shaky rage, responds. “N-no… not ever…”
“You see that anger you’re feeling? That’s barely a fraction of what I feel towards your sister. That’s why I won’t forgive her. Not everything can be forgiven.” I finish explaining.
I’m surprised when someone else from the table dares to speak up. Even more so when I see who it is. “Now wait just a minute there! Didn’t you say she was your only friend? How could you treat her like that!” the usually quiet pegasus rants.
Looking back at Luna, I start to see just how deeply my words affected her. She doesn’t deserve this… but she needs to understand where I stand, and that I won’t be swayed.
Glancing around the room, I can tell everyone is upset with me. Do I care? No. But I can’t just leave Luna feeling like crap… Plus, even if I’m right, if I come off this way, it’ll look bad on Luna for vouching for me...
Letting out a sigh, I look back at Celestia. “I’ll make you a deal Celestia. Don’t talk to me, and I’ll do my best to forget you exist. It’s better for everyone.”
Before she can respond, the blue one next to me pipes up as well. “Now you hold on buster! How do you get off talking to the princesses like that?!” she grabs my head and forces me to look at her.
I tear my head away from her grasp, and look away. “First off, because it’ll probably end up saving lives; Yours included. I may hate Celestia but I’ve got no vendetta against the rest of you. I just severely distrust you all. Second, word of warning. Don’t ever force me to look at you. My power is my eye, and I’d hate if my second chance at a life that was stolen from me was spoiled by accident because of some arrogant child who thought she had some sort of moral high ground, and decided to try and start a fight with someone that could end her life in an instant...”
honestly she could probably whoop my ass… I still don’t have a hang of my power… doesn’t mean I can’t accidentally hurt someone with it.
She shrinks back, obviously frightened by my threat. I let out another sigh. “Look. I don’t want you all to fear me. I’m not the next big bad guy for ya’ll to go blast with the elements or whatever it is you do. But I won’t let you all push my buttons like you know how everything should be, like I’M the problem here. Whether you all like it or not, I was wronged. Nothing will change that. You don’t get to decide what fixes it.”
Another survey around the room, and everyone is still mad at me. Jesus christ, what’s it take to appease these ponies… way back when, they were pacified with combat in the dueling circle. Now, words offend them like I had spit on some puppies.
Groaning, I put my head in my hands. “Look. I make no promises to actually forgive her, but Celestia will get a chance to earn forgiveness. When that chance will come along, I don’t know. But will that be enough to satisfy you all?” I look up and look at Celestia specifically. I still want her dead, but I know I can’t do it. Any chance I’d have at a normal life would vanish in flames if I did. Celestia seems to contemplate my offer, and nods solemnly. Everyone else, upon seeing Celestia agree, calms down a bit. Even Luna seems to be looking somewhat happy that I at least made an effort; despite how small it was.
Letting out one final sigh, I raise my hands into the air and take a breath. “NOW CAN SOMEONE PLEASE BRING US SOME FOOD!? I FEEL LIKE I’M BEING EATEN FROM THE INSIDE OUT!”