Bad pony!

by AmanDash

First Contact: success! Well, sorta.

Hi, I'm Dave. 25 years old, recently graduated from the university in the field of Electrical Engineering. I am currently working at a huge international automotive company as SQA engineer. Some of my friends from the university work here too, though in different divisions, which made a great part of my decision where I should apply to. I live alone in a flat in a residential district of an average town. It is not a metropolis, but neither a village in Texas. We have decent stores, movies, two theaters, a concert hall, a sports arena, two libraries and of course a decent amount of pubs and clubs. It was our usual Friday drinking in our favorite pub. Every Friday, I would meet here my friends turned colleagues and talk over some beers. Nothing too radical, just some friendly talking and drinking, some table football or snooker matches, though sometimes we proceeded to one of the music clubs to go partying. This time, we were here just for the beers and the fun.

"So, Dave" said Adam, who worked as a programmer at our company, "have you watched that My Little Pony episode I have linked you already?"

"Dude, I don't watch that. Don't get me wrong, everybody is watching whatever he wants, but you know I am not attracted to this one. The scenery is just too surreal and girly for me. I rather watch some action, like The Walking Dead or Sons of Anarchy. The only thing I remember from this unicorn hype is Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows. Now that's something worth listening to."

"Yeah, dude" interjected Jason, who was a bit older than us and currently worked as an SMT technician, "You are the only one in the group who watches that."

"By the way, Jason, how did your latest date with Caroline turn out?" I asked.

"Meh, nothing special. She is good and all, but we don't have the same pastimes. She is a sports fanatic. I am more of a gamer type. It wouldn't work out, so we agreed to remain friends."

"Maaan, that sucks."

"Yeah, pretty much. But I wouldn't want a girl who couldn't live with me together. Anyway, it's a bit late already. I think I'm heading home."

"Yeah, right. Same time here tomorrow?"

"Yeah, good night guys."

With that, we went our separate ways to our homes. Surprisingly, Jason still lived in the outskirts in a house with his parents, while Adam has moved to downtown, due to him having the best paying job of us, and maybe also because this way he could meet more with his other brony friends. On my way home, I was entertaining myself with recalling some wicked quotes from Deadpool 2, when suddenly a blinding purplish white light appeared somewhat 100 meters to the left in a side street. Call me weird, but my first thought was aliens. Apparently, the light died down just as fast as it emerged, but curiosity got the better of me, so I headed for the side street to check out whatever could have caused the light.

I could already see it. Oh shit. There was something lying on the pavement. It resembled an animal, more precisely, a small horse, or a pony. It had this weird facial structure with HUGE eylids, a head form somewhere between that of a horse and a human, a horn and even two wings. Not to mention its unusual lavender coat and purple-pink-dark blue mane and tail. What the fuck? Well, scratch aliens. Was someone trying to conceal a flash grenade in a unicorn shape and left it behind as a prank? Though, upon reaching nearer, I could see it was a living animal, though clearly not of Earth origin. It was breathing, and probably asleep. I was at about five meters from it when it suddenly opened her eyes, which had, I shit you not, very big purple irises. A look of utter confusion and pure horror appeared on its face, and it fainted on the spot. Just great. What should I do? Call the police, a vet, my friend Adam? After all, it resembled one of those pony figures from My Little Pony, which I have already ran into via various Internet forums and thanks to me being friends with Adam. Or should I just simply walk away? I opted for the last one, when I suddenly heard something that made me freeze from shock.

"Hello? Is anypony here? Where am I? Somepony help!"

What the actual fuck? Did that... creature just speak in English? How? My first thought was to run. Run as fast as I can, and never look back. But after the initial shock of hearing an alien horse-like creature uttering words in a feminine voice in English, the words started to make meaning. Whatever this creature was, she was clearly lost, shocked and frightened. Yes, I assumed it was a she because of her voice. The girlish colors also pointed to this, but you just can't be sure with aliens. They can have 256 genders for all we know, can be genderless, artificial lifeforms or even just virtual projections of an extraterrestrial conscious. The possibilities are literally endless. Though I was almost as frightened as her, I knew I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I just had left her behind. I steeled myself to stop, turn around and face whatever was coming.

"Um, hello! I am David Berger, but you can call me Dave. I am a human. What are you?"

"Uuum. H-Hello Dave, I am Twilight Sparkle from Planet Equis. I am a pony, an alicorn to be more specific. I am the Princess of Friendship. What is this place?"

"This is our planet Earth." To be fair, despite her being an alien, she looked somewhat cute. A purple unicorn with wings and big twinkling eyes? Chances are that the majority of the Internet users would do almost anything to get a picture and/or an artifact looking like her.

"What? I saw it when I first looked around, but I couldn't believe it. Part of me didn't want to. Is this really an other planet? Everything here looks so... chaotic, menacing, different! How far is Planet Equis? Why are clouds so blurry and big? Why I can't see the Moon?"

She is losing it again. She starts hyperventilating, her wings flap out, ready to fly and her horn starts to glow. I don't know what that thing is capable of, so I do the only logical thing that pops into my mind: I'm starting to run. For real now. You just don't fight aliens possessing gods know what kinds of weird powers.

"Heeey! Wait! Don't try to get away! Answer me!"

I feel a slight push hitting me in the back, as if I was shot with a magical beam and the next moment, I'm floating in the air, a purple aura surrounding me. Shit just got real.

"Alright, alright, I give up! Just put me down gently. Please."

"O-Okay. Sorry for that. I am just confused and I don't know what to do!"

"Alright, got it. Just, no more levitations, telekinesis, glowing horns, magic or whatever you call it okay? It freaks me out."

"Eh, hehe heh. Okay. So, can you tell me how far Planet Equis is?"

"Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, I have never even heard of an exoplanet or a solar system named Equis. You must have come from very far away. Which begs the question, how did you even get here? I don't even see any kind of vehicle with you."

"Well, about that..."