//------------------------------// // Chapter 13 How not to marry a Prince, part five // Story: How To Train Your Batpony // by peter //------------------------------// How to Train Your Batpony, ch13 Or: How not to marry a prince, part six Hasty explanations were made on the fly as Rarity and Sweetie Belle trotted down the main street. “It just had to be those two,” Rarity said in exasperation. Normally, Rarity welcomed the arrival of native Manehattanites to her store. They had bits, of course, and were much more likely to appreciate the quality and style of her work. The ponies in Ponyville had a habit of taking both for granted and not thinking that there was anything special about them. In the case of the Tower Twins, she had more than a suspicion that they had never purchased their own clothing but instead had it chosen for them by some other pony, either their mother or a fashion consultant/personal buyer. That hadn’t stopped them from having very firm views on what constituted high fashion, which were complete nonsense. They had walked out of her store with ensembles that were a terrible match for their colors and body style. And they had paid ten times as much for them as Rarity had been asking.⁽¹⁾ ⁽¹⁾Rarity had tried to discourage the twins from their selections by way of eloquent reasoning and price inflation. Reasoning failed abjectly, and Rarity was forced to abandon her pricing ploy when she realized how it was just making the twins more determined. Admittedly, she had been tempted to keep going... It didn’t take very long to determine where the Twins were. Apparently, Sheriff Sweets had been entertaining Prince Jake and his friend, Pipsqueak, all afternoon. And trailing behind them as obvious as a greedy dragon in a jewelry store had been the twins. The gossip floating around town in their wake was that they had their eyes on Sweets, who was one hunka, hunka, Pegasus. Rarity could understand the attraction but doubted that the older stallion was their true target. After all he worked for a living. There had been many references to the prince during the twin’s time in her store. Not to her personally, but between themselves, as if Rarity were merely one of the dressmaker dummies scattered around the boutique. It had quickly become clear they were obsessed with catching Jake’s eye. After the debacle of trying to explain proper fashion sense to the twins, Rarity was not even going to try and explain how they were wasting their time pursuing a colt who was currently more interested in how heavy a load he could pull. She would leave that to Applejack, who didn’t have a bottom line that could be affected by their displeasure, and the personality and motivation to take a switch to their shiny posteriors if reason did not work. As it turned out, Rarity and Sweetie Belle were just a little too late. The last reported sighting of the twins had them following Sweets and the colts out of town in the direction of Fluttershy’s home. That was a relief. Rarity would be able to confront them away from prying eyes and ears, as she retrieved Twilight’s well-traveled parcel. *** Tourmaline stumbled and frantically shook her left hind leg as she hobbled in the wake of her sister. “Oh, ewww. I think I stepped in something.” Pearl was less than sympathetic. “Hurry up. We’re going to lose them.” Tourmaline was not finished. Her next whine was, “My hooves hurt.” “You think mine don’t? It can’t be much longer.” “It’s been hours already!” “Exactly. One way or another, it can’t be much longer. If we give up now we’ll still be hoof sore, but we won’t have anything to show for it. Just keep reminding yourself that we’ll never have to lift a hoof for ourselves again once we marry the prince.” *** Sweets hadn’t even bothered to hide the fact they were being followed from the two young colts. In fact, it had been impossible to keep them from noticing the two mares trailing in their wake. Their tailing skills were pathetic. It had been Pipsqueak who had first picked up on the fact they were being shadowed. It helped that he was able to sit on Jake’s back and watch their backtrail. Sweets hadn’t even had to offer an explanation since the colts had assumed that the teens, like, Sneak Peek, enjoyed a rousing game of mobile hide and seek. Sweets supposed in a way it was a game. It was just a game that neither one of the colts was ready to play yet, or the twins in his opinion as a freshly minted married stallion of all of a few weeks. Jake giggled and asked, “Are they still back there, Pipsqueak?” In the broad Trotenham accent he favored for games involving skullduggery and piracy, Pip replied, “Arrhhh, they still be back thar sure enough, huffin' an' puffin' an' limpin' t'beat th' ban'” Pipsqueak had been tutoring Jake in proper language usage for flights of fancy, and the big colt replied to him with his best attempt to date, “We've sho'nuff led them a merry chase.” Sweets only contribution to the deception was that the colts not let on that they had seen the mares. They didn’t want to hurt their feelings by revealing how bad they were at the game, did they? *** “Do you know why Sneak Peek is laughing his ass off in the living room?” Cloudkicker asked Berry Punch as she strolled into the kitchen, having just gotten off work. “I don’t know. He got a letter from a friend in Canterlot. He said something about getting the scoop on Tower’s current financial situation, but he started laughing when he read it and I haven’t been able to understand anything he’s said since.” *** Twilight Sparkle, with a constellation of books and papers floating around her head, strolled toward Fluttershy’s house. She’d needed something to distract her from the fact that Princess Luna had not messaged her in four days. She was deeply afraid she’d done something to offend the princess but was hoping it was simply a matter of Princess Luna’s duty getting in the way.   Her lessons in friendship helped. Her friends all had their own lives and responsibilities and it was unfair of her to even think their lives should revolve around her. Twilight needed a distraction and the answer was obvious. Research. Each and every piece of paper currently circling her head had something to do with relationships, more specifically the relationship between herd sisters and the responsibilities therein. She didn’t know if Princess Luna had a stallion in mind already. As the senior, by a large margin, it seemed logical it would be her choice. But she was so busy with her duties, and out of place in this time. So maybe Luna expected Twilight to take the lead? Was it her duty to research prospective husbands and present the choices to Luna? Twilight had never really dwelt on the concept of marriage previously. She’d known that at some point she’d get married and have foals. She just hadn’t given much thought to the steps in between her current lifestyle and that one. Now she had to do so for Princess Luna’s sake and she was determined to do a good job.  Fortunately, there were numerous books devoted to the practice of husband hunting. If only they didn’t almost universally disagree with each other. Of course, she had started her own list as practice but had run out of ideas fairly quickly. Honest, generous, kind... the first part practically wrote itself. The second half of the list sounded a little odd, and worthy of some friendly advice to see if she was on the right track. Intelligent had been a given, as well as educated, strong, good with foals, witty, and... furry. Honestly, that was the entry giving her the most trouble, and she had written it in and crossed it off several times. She liked shaggy manes and furry fetlocks. They were cuddleable, although difficult to keep tidy. Fluttershy would know. She was an expert in cuddleablity. One little tidbit in one of the more historical books had been the revelation that buying a mare from her father had been a real thing a thousand and more years ago. So Luna hadn’t just been teasing, but deadly serious when she had mentioned approaching Twilight’s father with a suitable bride price. It might have been a totally inappropriate act in this day and age, but it still gave her a warm case of the fuzzies. For just a moment all the papers around Twilight whirled in a happy dance that mimicked Twilight’s prancing. But only for a moment, then Twilight settled down and got back to the serious job of learning how to hunt, capture, and dress, a husband. *** Fancy Pants had taken Rarity’s advice and had approached Pinkie Pie. He had not, however, asked her for a direct introduction to Fluttershy. He had asked if she’d mind showing him and Wooshter around Ponyville and the surrounding countryside, with a visit to Princess Curry at the end of the day. His reasons had been two-fold. Firstly, Wooshter had been in a state of high agitation and Fancy Pants had honestly feared he would make matters even worse than they already were if they were to go directly to Fluttershy. From his, admittedly limited, contact with Pinkie Pie, he was sure if any pony could relax and distract the pegasus it would be her. His supposition had been correct, and Wooshter was currently laughing and flirting outrageously with the pink party pony, while Fancy Pants trailed along in their wake. Fancy Pants’ second reason had to do with Fluttershy herself. He made it a point to keep himself abreast of the movers and shakers of Equestria, and while the Element holders might not view themselves in that light, to call them shakers of the status far understated their effect. ‘Social earthquakes,’ was a far more accurate term. What Fancy Pants had concluded was that with the exception of Fluttershy, the other five mares were very simple and straightforward. Like Princess Celestia, it was easy to predict their reactions to any given situation and have a good chance of being correct. This was not the case with Fluttershy. On the surface, she seemed like a pony suffering from near pathological shyness, but time after time she did things that simply did not fit that pigeon-hole. His sources were good, far better than most ponies who did not have Princess in their title. Fluttershy had done things that would have daunted many a legendary hero. Facing down a fully mature dragon, matching a cockatrice eye for eye and destroying the monster, beating a griffon to a pulp and then taking it into her home to nurse back to health, and finally, adopting a strange visitor from another planet with powers far beyond the ken of mortal ponies, Oh, and high fashion model, which really totally flew in the face of her default shyness. No, Fluttershy was not the sort of pony Fancy Pants wanted to startle, and there were few ponies more startling than Wooshter on a first meeting. Far better to allow Pinkie Pie to distract him and send his flighty mind down other paths. By the time they did get to Fluttershy’s home, Fancy Pants would be surprised if Wooshter even remembered the reason for their visit. Or so Fancy Pants had thought. In a very short while, he’d get to find out how well he’d planned. Hopefully, he’d survive. *** “Wait. Hold up. Give me a chance to catch my breath,” Curry begged the herd of her school mates as she stopped in the middle of the trail to her home with her hands resting on her knees as she tried to regain her wind. “Darling, you must learn to pace yourself,” Rarity said as she and Sweetie Belle trotted up. “I assume you too are in pursuit of the Tower Twins. Do let me give you a lift.” Her magic enveloped the exhausted little girl and lifted her up onto her back while shifting Spike onto Apple Bloom’s back. Neither the dragon or the filly looked the least bit happy with this solution, but neither protested. Despite her size, Apple Bloom was more than strong enough to trot the rest of the way to Fluttershy’s with Spike on her back, and Spike wouldn’t say boo to Rarity no matter what the circumstances. Curry gratefully clamped her legs around Rarity’s barrel and leaned forward so she could tangle her fingers in her luxurious mane. Her face slowly lost its reddish appearance as she regained her breath. “Thankee kindly, Miss Rarity.” With the short legged and the tired legged taken care of, the crowd of ponies resumed their trot. Trailing far behind the herd was Babs Seed, who did not look at all like a pony who was about to see her bullies get their comeuppance. Instead, she looked like somepony who had eaten too many green apples and was regretting it greatly. *** Rainbow Dash shook her head in resignation. “Not a good idea, Gilda.” “Shut it, Dashy. If you’re not going to help, then buck you.” Gilda’s voice was muffled by the wads of cotton stuffing her beak as she worked at removing the constricting bandages and supports from her injured wing. “Look. If any pony knows what you’re going through, it’s me. You just have to give it time to heal properly. Take it easy.” “How? By reading a book about what idiots Griffons are?” “Okay, maybe ‘Daring Do in the Griffon’s Aerie,’ was not the best choice. I admit it.” “You think!” Gilda snapped, her sarcasm dial turned all the way to eleven. “There!” the injured griffon said triumphantly as her sharp beak severed a critical winding and the hated bandages fell free of her wing. *** Drill Instructors don't sleep. They wait. Shadow Dash might have admitted to waiting fairly hard on his comfortable branch tucked into the top of a well-fluffed willow tree. An alert observer may have been able to detect the slightest noise, which an uninformed fool might think was actually a snore. Many Royal Guard Cadets knew it was actually an indicator of future tossing about the sparring ring or twenty-mile hikes in full weights. Thirty miles if some poor fool disturbed Shadow's waiting. There was a quiet two-toned noise that Shadow was beginning to loathe, and a gentle tap on his nose. He opened one eye, took a long look at the Celestia-Sprite sitting patiently on his branch, and closed his eye again. Most ponies would have been awestruck over being visited by a manifestation of their ruler. Shadow Dash? Not so much. "G'way," he muttered. "Meditating." The gentle tapping on his nose repeated, and he opened his eye again, only to see the Celestia-Sprite was now holding a sledgehammer nearly as large as the tiny magical creature and was hefting it menacingly. Once she saw Shadow's eye was remaining open, she tucked the hammer impossibly away, got out a small notepad and quill, and put on that infuriating peaceful tranquil smile that Celestia did so well. Giving way to the inevitable, Shadow Dash opened his other eye, yawned, and regarded the proxy Celestia with at least the semblance of a respectful posture. "I take it you want to know the sit-rep?" The sprite nodded and lifted a dripping quill to the page. “In regards to Goose? The sprite nodded again and made a get on with it motion with her hoof. "Fine," said Shadow, and put his head back down, although he continued to watch the sprite through narrowed eyelids, and sat back up when the creature got out a huge trumpet. "Awright, you want more.” He sat up, took a breath, and began. “Goose Down's training has been proceeding well. She has nearly every standard move and counter in the Royal Guard training down, and a few nasty little things my relatives have been teaching her also. She's fast, eager, and determined. That's the good news. The bad news is twofold. “She just isn't hitting as hard as she can. That I can train out of her by pairing her with Lumpy for sparring. She's going to have to sweat gallstones to hit him hard enough to make an impact. And secondly, she has difficulties shifting into a combat mindset. She's been around friends and relatives so long that she can't understand what it's like when somepony is really trying to hurt her. That..." Shadow bit his bottom lip and thought. "It will take time and a lot of lumps. My lumps, not hers. Sweet heavens, I was only training with her for a day and I feel like I've been run over by an entire cadet herd out jogging. Then when I said we were done, she pops out the door, fresh as a daisy, to meet with her friends. I may be able to get you a Night Guard out of this one, but it might kill me." The Celestia-Sprite looked up from her notebook and produced a pair of paddles that had the odd crackle of lightning between them, then tucked them away and made a few last notes. Turning into a ball of golden dust, the creature then darted away into the distance and was lost to sight in a few seconds, leaving Shadow to settle back down on his branch. "My mothers are going to kill me," he muttered. Shadow Dash had barely gotten a couple of hours of waiting hard when the sound of approaching hoofbeats caused him to twitch an ear toward the sound, but not to open an eye. Prince Jake had very distinctive hoofsteps, as did the newly minted Sheriff Sweets. No need for him to stop waiting for them. Or so he thought until his well-trained ear made out the noise of dozens of hoofsteps, all headed toward his location. “Oh, for bucks sake!” Shadow Dash cursed under his breath.⁽¹⁾ He opened ‘both’ eyes and sat up on his comfortable branch. ⁽¹⁾A rare thing for the drill instructor who was much more used to screaming his curses at the top of his lungs. But there were delicate ears present, and he did not want a repeat of the school field trip incident. The reason for his curse was the veritable circus traveling down the various paths leading to the clearing under his tree. First were a pair of unicorn fillies that just screamed trouble to his well-honed instincts, and then just coming into view down the path from them were the three foals, and friends, of the apocalypse, as he had named the CMC and their frequent companions. Any hope he had that the coming circus would bypass him ended when Sweets arrived. At first, Shadow thought he was going to be able to just ignore the whole upcoming disaster and watch how Sweets handled it. But the experienced Royal Guard looked up into the tree, saluted and called out,  “Private Sweets, requesting assistance, Sergeant!” “I don’t suppose it would do any good if I said there was no pony of that name here, private? I am retired, you know?” Before Sweets could reply to his former instructor, the cry of a raptor in extreme distress roared from inside of Fluttershy’s house. Sweets ears went flat, as Pipsqueak and Jake acted on hardwired instinct and raced for the shelter of the tree. “Go. Sweets!” snapped Shadow Dash, all traces of levity gone from his voice.  “I’ve got the prince and his friend.” *** It had been a very busy but satisfying day for Fluttershy. It had taken the whole morning and part of the afternoon to get almost all of her little friends settled in for their winter naps. But now she was looking forward to getting home and having some quality time with Curry Comb. The sudden scream of a creature in pain jolted Fluttershy out of her warm and fuzzy thoughts. Even though she had never heard a griffon scream, Fluttershy knew instantly who had cried out. All fear she might hold in regards to Gilda vanished before the imperative of going as quickly as possible to a creature in need. Leaping into the air, the shy pegasus showed that when motivated, she could rival her friend Rainbow Dash in the art of getting from here to there in the least amount of time. *** The scream of something monstrous had the twins on the verge of fleeing in terror until Pearl spotted the hick Sheriff dashing into the ramshackle hovel in the middle of the clearing, leaving the galloping prince all alone except for the insignificant foal. Despite her panic, or maybe because of it, she lept into action. “This is our chance, Tourmaline. It’s now or never.” Tourmaline’s mind had shut down at the sound of an apex predator’s scream, and she defaulted to herd instinct. Follow the one who seemed to know what she was doing. The twins galloped forward into the clearing, their horns lit in preparation of casting the critical spell. *** “Oooooh, this is going to be a doozy!” Pinkie Pie shouted out while vibrating in place. “Come on. We don’t want to miss the big expose,” she told Fancy Pants and Wooshter as she set out for Fluttershy's at speed, making use of her trademarked pronking mode of travel which covered ground deceptively fast. “What Ho! An adventure!,” Wooshter cried out in excitement and raced after the pronking Pinkie. Fancy Pants couldn’t help but notice that Wooshter’s focus was not on the road, or the way they were going, but on Pinkie Pie’s waving tail. Shrugging and giving way to the inevitable, Fancy Pants trotted in a dignified and stately way, after the two younger ponies. As he moved, he used his magic to strip his tie from around his neck and wrapped it around his forehead like a fashionable sweatband, which secured his mane in place for any upcoming action. After all, one always should strive to dress for the occasion.   *** Despite the strong breeze at their attitude, Princess Celestia caught the scroll that puffed into existence in front of her and unrolled it with a brisk snap. “It seems the book has been located. Rarity is on her way to retrieve it.” “Huzzah! That is most excellent!” Luna enthused, doing a hoof pump as she flew alongside her sister. “I believe that is the Lady Rarity below us, Princesses,” a huffing pegasus guard pony panted out, pointing a hoof downward at a crowd of foals and the unicorn in question. “They appear to be headed for Fluttershy’s home. We shall rendezvous with them and discover who absconded with my present.” The glint in Luna’s eyes did not bode well for the parcel purloiners. Every head in their flock suddenly switched focus at the sound of a Griffon in pain. Unlike the other ponies who had heard that cry, the ones in their group knew exactly what the sound was, and how dire it was that they were hearing it. “Change of plan, everypony!” Celestia snapped out as she whirled in place and dove toward the location the cry most likely originated from. *** Curry’s head jerked upward, the ears on top of her hood coming to full attention and swiveling in the direction of her home. “That’s Gilda! Something’s happened to her!” She started to slide off of Rarity’s back in order to dash the last couple of hundred yards to the source of that cry. Rarity’s magic caught the small snipe before she could come close to leaving her back. “Don’t be silly, darling. I can get us there much quicker,” Rarity said as she gritted her teeth and broke into a gallop. To buck with getting all sweaty and disheveled. Rainbow Dash’s friend sounded like she was in agony. It was imperative that she lend whatever aid was possible. *** “What’s the situation!” Sweets demanded as he rushed into Fluttershy’s house, seeing Gilda flopping around on the floor with Rainbow Dash standing off to one side, out of immediate talon and beak range. “The idiot pushed her wing too soon and got a wing-cramp,” Rainbow Dash answered without a great deal of sympathy. “Oh, no, you really shouldn’t have!” Fluttershy cried out, in a quiet whisper, as she flew in through an open window. Displaying none of her usual anxiety toward Gilda, and ignoring the talons that were ripping splinters out of her floor, the shy pony landed beside the griffon and brutally slapped a select group of muscles at the base of the injured wing, causing another screaming squawk of pain, that cut off a second later as Gilda flexed her wing slightly and looked at it in amazement. “It doesn’t hurt,” she exclaimed in surprise and moved to stretch it some more, only to be halted by Fluttershy hitting another group of muscles and causing her outstretched wing to go limp as a noodle. “None of that now!” Fluttershy said in a firm whisper. “You may have already pulled your tendons. You need to let it relax for a little bit, then we can look at doing some physical therapy.” “Not like I have much choice,” Gilda said faintly as she wiggled her shoulders and watched her wing flap like a flag in the breeze. “That was, AWESOME, Fluttershy! Do it again,” added Rainbow Dash, earning herself a dirty look from Gilda. There was a sudden scream of an outraged stallion from outside, causing all heads to whip around and stare at the door. Well, almost all heads. Gilda suddenly found a trembling pony huddled under her good wing, Fluttershy’s rapidly beating heart thundering against the griffon’s side. Without thinking, Gilda folded her wing protectively around the pony who a couple of weeks previously had made a good go at breaking every bone in her body. *** How had it gone so wrong so quickly, Pearl thought to herself as she looked around herself in horror. She and Tourmaline had each thrown the spell, perfectly executed, at the prince, and missed. A huge bat-pony had popped up out of nowhere and slid in front of their target an instant before the spell would have hit the alicorn. The nocturne’s entire body had been enveloped in light as he reared up and extended his wings to make sure not a single trace of their spell reached either of the two ponies cowering behind him. Then, as if their spell had summoned them, ponies trampled into the yard from all directions. The unicorn from the pretentious clothing store accompanied by a hoard of rug-rats had been the first, but far from the last. Down yet another trail came a unicorn orbited by an entire planetary system of books and papers. The next to arrive from the other side of the clearing had been the pink pony who had thrown that ridiculous excuse for a party, with the delicious muffins. Trailing her was some gangly stallion they had never seen before. Beyond all belief, the party pony had been accompanied by Fancy Pants. Pearl and her sister had never personally met the pony who stood at the top of Canterlot’s social structure, but any pony who was any pony knew who he was. What she didn’t know was what in Equestria he was doing in this place, at the worst possible of all times. Normally his presence would have overshadowed all other considerations, but he was only the aperitif for what was coming.   The final straw, an image that momentarily convinced her it was all a bad dream, was Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, accompanied by a whole phalanx of royal guards, who set down beside Fancy Pants. And each and every pony in the clearing, who had appeared as if by magic, was staring at her and her sister. Well, not every pony. The paper pushing unicorn who had wandered into the clearing as if she were out for a morning stroll only had eyes for the papers circling around her head. Strangely, Princess Luna also was not paying them any mind. She could not seem to take her eyes off of of the nerd. Maybe she was outraged that the unicorn had not acknowledged, or even noticed, her or Princess Celestia? Not that the twins were of a mind to wonder about that. Not with the realization that they had just cast a borderline, potentially, illegal spell, on one of the Princess Luna’s personal guard ponies. Because he could be nothing else. It was then that the bat-pony their spell had hit let out a scream of pure unadulterated lust as his glowing golden eyes fixed on her and Tourmaline with an expression of raw hunger.   *** A startled Twilight looked up from her research to find herself surrounded by ponies. She only had eyes for one, however. “Princess Luna! When did you get here?” A moment later her eyes went wider than they already were as she remembered just what she had been researching. There was a backward explosion as all the paper constellation around Twilight was sucked into her saddlebags with a noticeable slurping sound. “Fancy meeting you here of all places,” Twilight said with a weak laugh as she tried, and failed, to act nonchalant. “Greetings, Twilight Sparkle. We are most gratified that happy happenstance has caused our paths to cross this day. Though the circumstances are not currently conducive to conversation I hope you can bide a while. There are serious matters my sister and I must address.” “Oh, certainly. I understand. Umm, what matters?” Any reply Luna might have made was interrupted by a loud shout from Curry Comb. *** “Stop, stop, stop!” Curry screamed. She dug her heels into Rarity’s side while hauling back on her horn with all her might, causing Rarity to rear upward on her rear hooves in a most undignified posture. Curry slid off the rearing Unicorn and stumbled in front of her as she waved her arms in the air in front of the herd of foals. “Back, back!” She shouted as she tried to make herself bigger than her scant seventy-five pounds while glancing over her shoulder at Shadow Dash in fear. “Horny Stallion alert!” Glaring over at the twins, she included them in her arm waving as she stamped her feet on the ground in the direction of the wide-eyed fillies. “Shoo, shoo. Git out of here yu dang idjits.” Turning back to her primary concern, she found all the foals, and Rarity looking at her with bemused expressions. Except for Silver Spoon. Her expression was one of disgust. Curry realized she’d done it again. She’d fallen into old habits and treated the ponies as if they were animals and not people. Her face turned red and she found it impossible to look her friends in the eye. That is until Diamond Tiara gave an unladylike snort of laughter. “Horny Stallion? I can’t believe you said that out loud,” Di snickered, and was quickly joined by the rest of the foals. Even Rarity smiled behind a raised hoof. *** There was only so much a pony could take, and the twins had already exceeded their quota by a wide margin. Being laughed at was the last straw and broke any slight inclination they might have had to brazen it out. Letting out shrill whinnies of fear, they charged away from the crowd of ponies in the only direction that was free of obstruction, the lane leading to Sweet Apple Acres. Shadow Dash sprang after the fleeing fillies, only to pull up short just before running into a magical restraint field cast by Princess Luna. He looked over at his princess, and the half-crazed expression on his face turned sly, though his wings were still well extended. He gave the princess a wink. “Permission to teach two foolish fillies a life lesson they will never forget, my Princess?” The worry in Luna’s expression turned to match the look on Shadow’s Dash’s face, but before she could answer him, her sister touched her lightly on the shoulder with a wing tip in a, if I may interject gesture. Luna gave Celestia a nod and the senior sister turned to face Shadow Dash. “Are you in control, Drill Instructor Shadow? Truthfully, please.” Shadow Dash paused in the middle of formulating a flippant reply, and after a moment of introspection, answered. “Mostly, Princess. My grounding runes handled the bulk of the spell. I won’t say I’m not feeling a bit…itchy, but I’ve coped with worse. I am in control.” “Very well then. Luna. I believe you were about to give your guard instructions?” “Indeed I was sister. Drill Instructor Shadow Dash, are you ready for your orders? “Always, my princess.” “Very well, Drill Instructor. Good hunting.” Shadow Dash seemed to turn into his namesake as he flowed across the ground and into the forest paralleling the trail the twins had galloped down. “Grounding Runes, sister?” Luna asked with a questioning tilt of an eyebrow. But it was not her sister who answered but Twilight Sparkle who had nervously sidled up to the two princesses. “Oh yes. Shining Armor told me all about those. It’s very common for Drill Instructors —especially those who are not unicorns— to have runes tattooed directly onto their skin. They have to shave their hair to have it done, and when it grows back they are invisible. It helps ground any magic designed to influence their mental state. It seems that in times past, there were incidents of Unicorn trainees using spells to influence their instructors to go easier on them, or in revenge. It’s very interesting. I have some books back at the library if you’re interested?” “They sound most interesting, Twilight Sparkle. Do they have before and after images?” Luna asked. You could almost see her imagining Shadow Dash looking like some rich mare’s pet poodle. “Ain’t nopony worried about Shadow Dash, or what he might do to those fillies if he catches them?” Curry demanded as she shoved her way between Twilight and Luna. “Shadow Dash is fine. He won’t hurt the fillies. Only scare them, a little bit.” Luna said with a laugh way too evil for a good princess, matched by a distant feral screech somewhere out in the forest. “Are your fears over this coming from some incidents on your old world, Curry? Did you have a bad experience?” Twilight had a blank scroll and quill held in her magic as she waited for Curry’s answer. Curry didn’t really want to answer Twilight’s question. The truth was that she had no terrible experience with stallions, other than hearing them scream and thrash in their stalls when they got like that. But there had been no shortage of horror stories from the adult grooms who had delighted in filling her head with a wide variety. According to those stories, horny stallions would trample anything between them and the mare they wanted. ‘Leaving nothing but a smear on the ground,’ was a popular finishing line to many of those stories. “Has anyone seen my cousin, Babs?” Apple Bloom shouted out, drawing Curry’s attention away from Twilight’s embarrassing question and saving her from having to answer it and reveal that she had for a moment forgotten that ponies were not animals, again. “I think she went thataway.” Pipsqueak pointed toward Pinkie Pie, who was holding up a sign shaped like a finger that said, She went thataway. Apple Bloom looked incredulous. “She followed them! What was she thinking?” “That she wanted to see her bullies humiliated?” Scootaloo suggested. Apple Bloom protested. “That ain’t right. She’s better than that. We got to catch up to her.” “Heck yeah. I want to be there when Shadow Dash catches them,” Scootaloo enthused, totally missing Apple Bloom’s point. “Come on, Curry. Let’s go.” “I can’t.” Curry looked toward the door of her home. “That was Gilda earlier. I got to make sure she’s alright. She’s my friend.” “Do I look like a weak pathetic pony?” Gilda’s asked in her usual acerbic manner. She was standing just outside of the door, with Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy on either side of her looking worried. She used her bad wing to ruffle Fluttershy’s mane, leaving it looking windblown. “See. didn’t I tell you the chick would be alright? Now, how about you fix me something to eat? I’ve still got a lot of healing to do.” Standing inside the doorway, a respectful distance back, Sweets gave Curry a nod, and made a gesture that indicated he’d keep an eye on Jake and Pipsqueak. Giving Gilda a, doubtful, backward look Curry hurried after her friends who were heading down the lane to Sweet Apple Acres, The most obvious exception to the general stamped was the two Princesses and their guards, and Twilight Sparkle. But, Fancy Pants and his companion stayed as well. Though the magical glow around the Pegasus indicated that his staying put was not his own idea. The reason why the Princesses had not joined the stampede was revealed as the bobbing forms of their individual sprites, looking unbearably smug, approached while carrying an old tattered book between themselves. “Yes!” Luna hoof-pumped before relieving the sprites of the burden they really weren’t designed to carry. They both wiped hooves across their foreheads, removing imaginary sweat, and then dissolved into glitter that was drawn into their corresponding creator’s horns. Luna floated the book toward Twilight, looking suddenly bashful. “For you, Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight had been looking at the sprites in awe. The level of magic and skill required to craft them blew her mind just thinking of the equations. But then Princess Luna waved a ‘shiny’ object in front of her and all else was forgotten. “A book? For me?” Twilight’s magic took hold of the old thing with the utmost delicacy. Carefully opening it she examined the first page. “This, this,” she said in a wheezing voice. “This is Starswirl’s journal. His very first student journal. I’ve heard of it. I mean, what pony hasn’t. It’s legendary. But it was lost. You found it? You found it and you’re giving it to me? I can’t. It should be in a Starswirl’s museum where every pony can see it…” Twilight trailed off to breathe heavily into the paper bag that Princess Celestia floated into her face. “I think she likes it, Luna,” Celestia remarked to her sister as Twilight dealt with her hyperventilation. “I knew she would, sister,” Luna gave the impression that if it were not for their audience she’d have been pronking like a foal, or Pinkie Pie. “Are you recovered, Twilight Sparkle?” Twilight gave a couple of more deep breaths into her paper bag before removing it from her muzzle. “Yes, thank you, Princess. Is this really for me?” “Indeed it is, my faithful student. More importantly, we’d like you to examine this spell,” Celestia answered Twilight while using her magic to shuffle the pages in the journal to the pages containing the spell cast by the twins. “I trust you can trot and study at the same time.” “Of course. Just watch me.” Twilight replied with complete confidence, her nose already buried in the journal. With that, the princesses and their train followed in the wake of the rest of the stampede. *** The rumble of hooves on the ground faded into the distance. “Ow, ow, ow. Stupid, stupid,” Gilda groaned in pain as she threatened to collapse where she stood. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash quickly moved in and extended a wing under her chest taking her weight off her legs. “That was very foolish, but kind,” Fluttershy whispered. “Curry was very worried about you.” “You think I did it for the chick? Noway. I did it for me. If she’d thought I was hurting, she’d have been all over me. ‘Can I fluff your pillow, Gilda? Can I brush out your fur, Gilda? Can I help you preen your feathers, Gilda?’  She is so annoying.” “Hey. If any pony is going to preen your feathers it’s going to me.” Rainbow Dash said as she helped turn Gilda so she and Fluttershy could get the stubborn bird back to her sick bed. “Say what!” “And I still think you were kind,” Fluttershy remarked as she gave Gilda a peck on the cheek, silencing the brash Griffon.