//------------------------------// // Pinkie // Story: Wingmanicide // by shortskirtsandexplosions //------------------------------// “And while she might be predictable—it's a super silly and funny predictable! And the rosiness to her cheeks and the scarlet flourish in her hair—duaaaaaaaah!” Pinkie Pie tilted back in the park bench, gasping deeply. When she was finished, her smile tripled in size and she belched her bombastic exclamations to the treetops. “She's like a beautiful clown! I don't mean to say that she comes across as goofy—but she just looks so dazzling! Oh, sure, she can be goofy too—but it's in a way that makes your heart feel warm and toasty and your cheeks sore from giggling so much! And yet she's also mature and experienced and you want to live up to the legacy that she's made and show the world how much she's taught you about making people smile and happy and—eee hee hee hee...!” Pinkie Pie hugged herself and kicked at the blades of grass before the bench, chortling from horizon to horizon. “Ohhhhhhhhhhh—what can I say, Flashie? I'm in love! There's no question to it! She's been an inspiration to me all my life and not a day goes by when I don't dream of somehow showing her how much she's made me appreciate life... comedy... show biz—the works! I'm tellin' ya, pally, she's the cherry atop my sundae!” “Mmmmmmhmmm...” Flash—tired and more than a little bit lethargic—sat on the bench beside her, shoulders hunched as he rubbed at the bridge of his nose. “I don't suppose...” He looked out across the verdant park full of loitering people. “...you've considered asking this woman out?” “Pffft! Only if I wanted to be thrown in jail for necrophilia, silly!” “... … ...” Flash turned to squint at the party planner. “What?” Pinkie Pie punched his shoulder playfully and stuck a tongue out. “Lucille Ball's been dead for thirty years! Also, she was married twice!” She shook her head. “Pinkamena is many things! But she's certainly not a gravedigging lecher! Nosireebobdoley!” “Ah. I see.” “Heehee! Stilllll...” Pinkie Pie tapped her smiling chin and scanned the heavens with eager eyes. “If somebody smart—somebody whose name rhymes with Highlight Gargle—were to clone Lucille Ball in a test tube... … ...and throw in just a pinch of Betty Crocker's DNA to boot...” “I don't think Betty Crocker was ever actually a real per—” “Then I just might be willing to make a few new matrimonial choices on the ol' Pinkie calendar if you catch my bouquet! Hah!” She jabbed him with an elbow. “Get it?! Cuz it's nuptial!” “Heh...” Flash couldn't help but smile. His eyes wandered towards the sound of giggles, and he once again laid eyes on the rest of their friends gathered around Applejack and Rainbow Dash—both of whom were engaged in a highly-spirited kite-flying contest. “Whatever you say, Pinkie.” Rainbow Dash twirled her kite while licking her lips. Fluttershy cooed something—inaudible from such a long distance—but Flash could see her cupping her hands by her cheek with a loving expression. Applejack matched most every move that Rainbow Dash made. Rarity cheered the farm girl on, leaning in to rest a dainty hand on her best friend's well-toned shoulder more than once... or twice or thrice. The fashionista's powder-white cheeks flushed noticeably in the afternoon air. Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle stood a few feet aside, simply admiring the competition as it carried on and on. They both had tranquil smiles... and their hands were held together. Flash's gaze lingered on the girls' fingers for a bit longer than he expected. He was so absorbed that he scarcely made out Pinkie's words until she repeated them for a third time: “How about you, Flashie?” “Hmmm?” He looked towards her, blinking. “What?” She sat cutely on the bench, swinging her legs up and down against the grass like a child. “A handsome catch like you has gotta be swooning for someone in this life... past, present, or future.” Her eyes sparkled with both mirth and mischief. “Well? Ever gonna spill the beans?” “The beans...?” “It's okay.” A sapphire wink. “You can trust your Auntie Pinkie Pie!” She pointed a finger. “Ah! I know what that expression means! There's a girl in your life, isn't there?” “A girl... in my life...” “Who is it? Hmmm?” Pinkie bounced in place. “Come on! Out with it! Your secret's safe with me! Pinkie promise!” He lingered in place, gazing at her. Then he turned to gaze at the rest of the young women. He observed how the wind kicked at their perfect hair... how the sun shone on their pretty dresses... how the air rang with their collective harmony—a symphony that would never end. His fingers clutched tight to the seat of the bench beneath him, as if he might tip over any second, then everything would be upside down. As if it wasn't already. “There's a girl,” Flash Sentry said, absorbing himself into the distance. “A girl that I have never met. And yet... I've no doubt that I would fall in love with her the moment I saw her.” A deep breath. “Which is precisely why she'll never exist. She's just too perfect. She's everything I want and fear all at once. I would love for you to meet her—all of you—if only so she'd be real to someone. And maybe—just maybe—with her around... everything would make sense. Everything would be as it should be. Even if... even if I can't be there to admire her. I think... I think I would be okay with that. If she was here and I wasn't anymore. It would be just right. Or—at least—it would be way less st-stupid than it's always been. It would be less stupid th-than it is right now...” He was trembling towards the end of this, and a tear fell down his cheek to sanctify the moment. He reached a hand up to rub it away—sniffling. But someone else's hand caught his wrist before he could. Biting his lip, Flash Sentry looked at her. Pinkie Pie simply smiled. “Can't you both be here at the same time?” His eyes darted away like they were dodging a bullet. In a weak voice, he murmured: “I don't think I could even manage, Pinkie—” “Manage what? Love?” She giggled lightly. “You love all of us, don't you, silly?” Her head tilted to the side, entreating. Adoring. “What's one more layer into the mix?” He didn't have a response to that. So he resorted to a tender smile. And—as always—it was good enough. “Come on.” She hopped up and tugged him out of his seat with both hands. “They're having fun. And so should we.” He stumbled after her, a grown man powerless to a bubbly friend's tug. “Sometimes, Pinkie, I'm not sure I can.” “And I'm not sure I can't!” She stuck a tongue out and pulled him anyways. “What say we meet somewhere in the middle, huh?” “Yeah... okay...” “Okie dokie lokie! Heeheehee!” They joined the rest of the girls just as they were starting to take turns. At one point or another, it was Flash's chance to hold the string. He had little control over where the kite went, but after the wind had run its course and the laughter of the group had lifted up and down multiple times, he found that it hardly mattered.