//------------------------------// // 15 The Thaumaturgist // Story: Errant Finale // by Doug Graves //------------------------------// Starlight Glimmer barely gets two steps up the stairs before the front door to the library bursts open, three young mares barreling inside. “Stop!” shouts Sweetie Belle, instantly getting the two unicorn’s attention. “This is not the answer!” the three chorus as they bound up to the stairs. “Wait!” yells Apple Bloom, even though the two mares aren’t moving. “‘Cause it’s-” A turquoise bubble surrounds the three, courtesy of Starlight’s horn, cutting off all sound. The three Crusaders silently pound on the translucent walls, probably shouting furiously. Starlight Glimmer glances down at the spell book, then another flash of magic leaves her stroking a thick gray beard. “Wow, for being really old, these spells are actually pretty good!” “Of course they are; it’s a Star Swirl original, after all.” Twilight Sparkle snickers for a moment. “That one is one of Celestia’s favorites, actually; she has it honed to where, if she wants, the bubble is completely transparent. Actually, that’s not quite right. Only the golden glow of her horn doesn’t get through.” After a wry smile she points a hoof at the Crusaders, her expression turning serious. “Now let them out.” “Ugh, fine.” Starlight’s horn winks out, her beard disappearing along with the bubble and sending the Crusaders sprawling. “What’s the point of having magic if you can’t abuse it to get everything you want?” Twilight shakes her head as the three young mares pick themselves off the ground. “That is not why we have magic. It’s a complex tool that we use to solve problems. Now, let’s go magically brute force our way through your problem. I mean, use magic to solve your problem in a way that I’m sure will have no externalities or unintended side effects.” “Listen!” implores Scootaloo, though she shies back slightly at Starlight’s annoyed glare. “Your plan isn’t going to work!” Sweetie Belle nods, “It’s just a bandaid, a stopgap, a distraction!” “Yeah!” continues Apple Bloom. “It doesn’t deal with the root of the issue!” Together, the three shout, “You aren’t working with your cutie marks!” “Not this again,” Starlight groans, her head meeting her hoof. “Look. If it’ll make you happy, and get you off my back, there’s nothing saying that we can’t do both. So, when it’s time for me to return to Our Town, you can come with me.” “Okay!” pipes up Apple Bloom. “Sounds good to me!” Sweetie Belle readily agrees. “Wait, that was way too easy.” Scootaloo frowns. “What’s the catch?” Starlight Glimmer grins. “Oh, nothing much; I bet you’ll barely even notice! You’ll just have to give up your cutie marks!” “Wait, why would we need to give up our cutie marks?” Sweetie Belle glances to her sisters, confused. Apple Bloom returns a look just as quizzical. “Don’t we kind of need those to help everypony?” “It's so you’ll fit in!” Starlight's voice is soft and understanding. “You wouldn’t want to be the only ponies there with your cutie marks, would you?” “No, Ah guess not.” Apple Bloom scuffs at the wooden floor. “What if we stay really close to the village, but not actually in the village.” Scootaloo smirks confidently. “Then can we keep our cutie marks?” “You’ll still be working with everypony.” Starlight’s arguing starts to strain her voice, making keeping it calm and level difficult. “We wouldn’t want any misunderstandings. Besides, your cutie mark doesn’t define you, right? So, you shouldn’t need your cutie mark to help them with their cutie marks, either. And, it's not like ponies need their cutie marks, anyway.” “Hold up.” Sweetie Belle ponders for a moment. “You’re saying that if we don’t need our cutie marks to help ponies discover the benefits of their cutie marks, then that’s proof that you don’t need a cutie mark to find your place in the world. And, thus, ponies should be fine living without a cutie mark.” Starlight nods. “But if we aren’t able to help them, even with our cutie marks, then that means that either our cutie marks aren’t about helping ponies-” “Even though they are,” Apple Bloom adds confidently, Scootaloo nodding along. “-or that these ponies need to have their cutie marks taken away, because there isn’t really any help for them.” Starlight nods again. “Well, that doesn’t seem fair,” Sweetie Belle continues. “It’s like some sort of… um…” “Catch twenty-two,” Twilight supplies. “That.” Starlight shrugs. “And maybe you’ll succeed, and be able to help everypony there. That would certainly be for the best! I'm sure everypony will love for you to work with them to solve their cutie mark problems. Like Double Diamond.” “Who’s Double Diamond?” asks Scootaloo, the three perking up. Starlight Glimmer sighs, stepping down and looking the three young mares in the eyes. “Pony who had a cutie mark for skiing. It was his life, his passion, and he was amazing at it. But, there aren’t a lot of ponies who ski. Or who will pay him for being a great skier, one of the best. So, he found himself working a dead end job. Every paycheck he’d blow it all on supplies so he could spend another week on the slopes, or to travel up north. His employer understood what it was like for him, even though it hurt her business, but what could she do?” Starlight shrugs, the Crusaders almost in tears. “Never herded up, either; no mare wants to shackle themselves to a deadbeat like that, and if it wasn’t for me he’d probably still be whorsing himself to pay rent.” “That’s so sad…” Sweetie Belle says, sniffling. “Ah know…” adds Apple Bloom. Scootaloo nods. “So, how would we help a pony like that?” “Maybe he could give skiing lessons?” Sweetie Belle offers. “But Ah thought not many ponies wanted to ski,” Apple Bloom counters. Scootaloo taps her hoof against her chin. “Hmm. Park ranger?” “I think we need more information.” Sweetie Belle looks up at Starlight. “We’ll have to wait until we meet this Double Diamond at your village.” “But how do we know that’s what we’re supposed to do?” asks Apple Bloom. Scootaloo nods, “Yeah, you’d think our cutie marks would be glowing like that.” She points a hoof at Twilight’s cutie mark, the six glowing stars still faintly twinkling. “Does that ever stop?” “No, and it gets annoying when I’m trying to sleep.” Twilight shrugs. “Anyway, it’s getting late. Did you three need Starlight for anything else?” The Crusaders shake their heads. “We’ll just stay down here and plan some more.” “You do that,” Twilight mutters to herself. “Come on, Starlight. Let’s get this over with.” She sighs, looking at the magic swirl on Starlight’s flank as the unicorn joins her. “I’m impressed, actually, that you were able to pick up those spells from Star Swirl’s spell book so easily. I can’t believe you want to give all that up.” She lays a hoof on Starlight as she catches up to her. “I know you think it’s for friendship, but there are so many better ways.” “I’m not doing it just for me.” Starlight pokes Twilight in the belly. “Now, I believe you were going to ravage me, right?” “That’s… not at all what I’d call it,” Twilight replies with a roll of her eyes. The two enter her bedroom. It’s fairly bare, just a few bookshelves filled with books, a lamp, and a writing desk filled with parchment. The only thing out of place is the ornate chest sitting at the base of the bed next to Starlight’s saddlebags. A chest that immediately draws Starlight’s attention. She practically throws Star Swirl’s spell book, Twilight catching it in midair and scowling, in order to rush forwards. “These are the Elements of Harmony!” Starlight exclaims, pulling out the Element of Magic. “Huh. Funny. I’d expect there to be, like, power coursing through it or something.” “...Weird.” Twilight pulls the Element out of Starlight’s grasp, replacing it in the chest. "It must be because they aren't yours." “Why do you even have those?” Starlight goes to her saddlebags, pulling out a crystal bottle. “It seems… I don’t know, risky having such a valuable item laying out and about.” “Celestia entrusted them to me in case Discord manages to get free again. She placed what she hopes is a spell that won’t let him mess with them like he did before. Even if it was just turning them invisible until we reached for them. I don’t think he’ll try a similar trick, so we want them to be close at hoof.” “I guess. But, couldn’t anypony just walk in here and take them?” Starlight looks at her own hoof, quickly hiding it behind her. “Not that I’d think of taking something that wasn’t mine.” “Yeah, that’s just going to be me.” Twilight hops on her bed, looking between the crystal bottle and the pink unicorn’s swirling cutie mark. “Let me know if this hurts or something. I’ve never done it before.” “Yeah, sure.” Starlight looks over at Star Swirl’s spell book, her horn glowing turquoise as she levitates the book over. “So, what do you think that last spell did? From one to another, another to one. A mark of one’s destiny singled out, fulfilled. It seems… I don’t know, a little ambiguous. Not very direct. Not at all what the rest of the spells are like.” “You’re making it awfully hard to concentrate,” Twilight says through gritted teeth. Her horn begins glowing raspberry, focusing on the spell to rip a pony’s cutie mark. “Hey,” Starlight says quickly, interrupting Twilight’s spell. The purple unicorn audibly grinds her teeth while Starlight explains, “You look like you’re only charging the first half. Remember to add the mark of equality as well.” “Oh, right.” Twilight pauses for a few seconds before her eyes fling open. “Oh! I almost forgot! I wanted to get a few baseline readings from you!” She rushes to her desk, sifting through the parchment on top. “I know I made a list around here somewhere… Oh, it’s so hard when you don’t have your assistant writing everything down for you!” “Must be nice,” remarks Starlight dryly as she drops the spell book. “From one to another, another to one. A mark of one’s destiny singled out alone, fulfilled.” “Will you cut that out?” Twilight demands, though her stern expression doesn’t last long. She levitates a piece of parchment and quill while examining Starlight through glowing white eyes. Quill scratches echo around as she records every magical quality and quantity she can think of. “Ugh, it would be nice to have Rarity here. Her specialty lets her perform these scanning spells so much easier. Well, more like it lets me focus on the results and not have to cast the spell at the same time.” “Yeah, that would be nice,” Starlight agrees. “You about done?” Twilight checks her checklist, checking the check mare at the bottom with a black check. “Check!” “Okay, let’s do this.” Starlight readies herself, quickly growing bored as Twilight charges the two spells. “From one to another, another to one. A mark of one’s destiny singled out alone, fulfilled.” “Stop saying that!” Twilight nearly shouts as her horn shines, twisting the whole room a deep red. “I do not think it means, what you think it means!” Starlight merely rolls her eyes. Twilight blasts Starlight with a burst of raspberry magic. Starlight merely watches in greedy anticipation as her turquoise and purple cutie mark slips off her flank like a piece of paper, wafting over to the bottle. The cork drops after the cutie mark, sealing it in with a quiet burp. Two thick gray lines cover both of Starlight’s flanks. Starlight inspects the bottle as Twilight wipes the sweat off her brow. “See? Everything turned out just fine!”