“And that's the whole story of what happened with Applejack this week!” finished Pinkie Pie.
Gummy managed to hide his reaction from Pinkie quite well.
The reason that he hid his reaction from her at all was because it was one of panic.
Oh no! he thought. Oh no no no! Just when I had finally managed to move on from the topic of selfishness and onto wondering why the sky is blue, you brought it back!
Was Applejack selfish in what she did? Or was it selflessness that ultimately drove her?
She turned down offers from others to help, seeking to be the sole pony credited with the harvest of her family's farm. That appears selfish.
But if we look at this another way, the task which she was doing benefits the entire town. That appears selfless.
It is possible that she turned down help because she wanted to spare her friends from hard work. I don't know for sure. But if so, selfless.
But it is also true that the fastest way to make the apples available to the town is to get as many ponies picking them as possible. Applejack initially and knowingly chose to do it alone, resulting in the slowest harvest time, with the goal of making herself appear dependable. That appears to be... selfish and selfless at the same time, strangely. She was doing something to make herself look good, but she was also trying to make herself look like a strong benefit to her society. How odd.
This line of thought leaves me so weary! I don't even know if there is a definite answer here, and it is making me wonder whether I am selfish or selfless again too, and when I think about the possible answer, I only find myself reasoning in circles and getting nowhere! Oh, how happy I would be if I could find some way to resolve this issue once and for all!
“Yeah, you're right Gummy,” said Pinkie, unaware of the gator's true state of mind at the moment. “Good thing Applejack has such good friends to help her! You always know just what to say to make me happy!”
Perhaps there is a way to resolve the issue. Whether I am selfish or selfless, I still wish to act as though I am selfless, as that will achieve either goal. But only a selfish gator would worry about this because only a selfish gator would feel the need to ensure that he likes his choice! So, does that make me selfish?
But if I decide that I am selfish, I shall forever feel guilty about deciding to pretend to act selfless in order to fulfill my own selfish goals! But do selfish gators feel guilt? I don't know! But I do know that if I was a selfless gator, I would be able to rest easy with my decision, and therefore I want to be a selfless gator.
But if I want to be selfless in order to put myself at ease, does that not make me selfish?
But surely my own desire must have some effect on my true character! After all, the ability to choose is what sets thinking creatures apart from non-thinking creatures! Selfishness is in a gator's nature, but it is ultimately the gator's choice whether or not he chooses to allow himself to become a slave to his nature, or whether to rise above the nature which he had no say in and to choose how he wishes himself to be, even if it contradicts his nature! So if it is my desire to be selfless, does that not make me a more selfless gator?
I do not know! I simply do not know, and it frustrates me even further to admit it! I am frustrated, and all I do know is that the more I think about it, the more and more desperately I wish that I could be a selfless gator!
I am reasoning in circles again! How I despair! Others do not drive themselves mad by asking themselves questions that they cannot answer, so why must I do it? I must hope that one day I shall finally find the answers to the questions.
It is obvious that I will not be finding the answers today, however, and I cannot think effectively in this state of mind. I think the best thing to do is to set these thoughts aside for now and share in whatever enjoyment Pinkie Pie is up to next. She is very good at that, and for that I am most thankful.