//------------------------------// // Session 93 // Story: Ponies and Dragons (Just Have Fun) // by Alex Warlorn //------------------------------// Session 93.0 Unown3 "Friends. Friends. Friends. Friends. Friends. Friends." Chanted the zombie army of rainbow colored changelings, mindless marching forth, their ugly garish clashing colors a contract to the peaceful and beautiful black and green landscape. "Wise Mentor!" Cried Loyal Mentor. "Save yourself Loyal Drone, avenge me! AVENGE ME!" Said the older black hive changeling just before he was enveloped in the horde. Then arose as another of the abominations. "Friends, Friends, Friends, Friends." "WISE MENTOR!" Screamed Loyal Drone, tears coming from his compound eyes. "I'll avenge you!" Loyal Drone vowed. Then the perception shifted to Loyal Drone's points of view, ending the cut scene, and a cross-hair appeared to zap them. And the army of rainbow colored zombie changelings were gunned down en mass, a contrasting cheerful voice, "GET BONUS!" chirping for chain kills. Surprisingly well animated green blood splattered everywhere in absurd amounts of pieces of rainbow changelings scattered everywhere with no loss of frame rate. Then once enough combos had been reached, a flashing bar showed at the bottom saying 'TRANSFORM!' and Loyal Drone transformed into a tower changeling behemoth, and switched to a shift person view again, showing off the badassitude of the mighty Loyal Drone in his transformed state, and tore the zombies left and right. The first boss was Phalanx, followed by Thorax, the 'final' boss was Starlight Glimmer, with the REAL final boss that only appeared to hatchlings who got the high scores, being a marathon boss against the Princesses (except Flurry Heart in the 'good' ending who was turned into a changeling queen). Hatchlings gathered around the game machines, both to look over the players' shoulders and to cheer them on. The hard rock techno sound track wasn't so bad either. There weren't enough game machines of course for the entire swarm of hatchlings Chrysalis had spawned... but once they'd made the hand held edition, it would really help, plus the hand-held would come with a co-op or competitive option for most abomination changelings killed. "Those game designers should be proud," Cozy Glow said, reluctant to admit she'd gotten addicted to the gameplay herself a little. Tirek asked, "How's Tirek Ball Festival coming along?" "Where you start out with a tiny ball of magic and slowly absorb all magic in Equestria?... Still in beta testing." Session 93.1 Ardashir "Hey!" Pharynx barged in to the Friendship Palace. He looked furious, fangs bared and eyes aglow. He held up a hoof-held computer game. "I thought you ponies stopped making these racist games about other species." "But we did!" Twilight took the game from him and looked at it. "I don't know what you're talking about -- Gah!" She flung it away. "We didn't make that game! We're at peace with you now, remember?" "Then who did?" Pharynx snarled as he showed her a magazine. "They're being advertised in here." Twilight read the cover. "Huh? 'Evil Unbound -- the magazine for Equestria's next conqueror'? What the hay?" She flipped through the pages, her eyes widening as she scanned the articles. "'Why do the Princesses job out to every two-but tyrant'? 'Twilight's Friendship School, just another name for cultural imperialism against predators'? 'Remember when Dragons and Changelings used to be scary instead of cutesy-wootsie losers'?" She wadded it up and hurled it into a trash can. "None of that's true! Who writes this swill anyway?" Far away in Grogar's Lair, Chrysalis nodded as her Changelings worked a press. One of them held the next issue of 'Evil Unbound' up for her perusal. It had a full-cover picture of Queen Chrysalis biting out the hearts of Ocellus and That Traitor Thorax. "Hah! Deer aren't the only ones who can make samizdat!" Session 93.2 Unown3 "Welcome to Equestria's first formal gaming night... I know my nephew has held card tournaments with some of you in the past couple of years, and he has performed admirably, but I wanted to get to know all of you on a more personal level," Princess Celestia said. Philomena perched on her shoulder. Ember, Thorax, and Rutherford in attendance. "Live phoenix? I heard you were supposed to have snacks at these things," Ember said reaching for the startled domesticated pet who'd never been raised to fear the presence of dragons (the closest experience she had was with Spike), and her head inside Ember's closing jaws, which Celestia's magic pulled out just as they slammed shut. Celestia did her absolute best to keep her self control. "Dragon Lord Ember! Philomena is my beloved pet, NOT an appetizer." "Oh? Really? Sure. Okay." Ember said like it was a trivial misunderstanding. "So when do you serve the phoenix eggs? I prefer mine scrambled with ruby dust sprinkled in." Session 93.3 Ardashir "Ember!" Thorax got between her and Philomena. The phoenix glared around him at the dragon, ruffling her feathers up in annoyance at almost having become dinner. "Ponies don't eat anything from phoenixes. Not their eggs, not them, nothing." "What?" Ember blinked. "Okay, then how do they keep them from overrunning Equestria? Phoenixes are immortal." "We don't have very many of them here," Celestia nuzzled Philomena, who preened under the attention. "And Philomena has never laid any eggs." "Fine." Ember rolled her eyes and reached into a pouch hanging at her waist. "I figured something like this might happen, so I brought snacks." Her claw came back out, holding a massive black scorpion. Its claws snapped at the air and it stung at her scaly arm uselessly, stinger-tail lashing like a whip. Ember smiled and breathed a light puff of fire onto it. It squealed once and hung limp, cooked. Before the horrified eyes of Thorax, Rutherford, and Celestia she flung it into her muzzle and crunched down once or twice before swallowing. Ember noticed their attention. "Oh, sorry. Want some?" Her hand went back into the pouch and came out with three more scorpions as big and vicious as the first. They waved their claws and arched their stingers menacingly. Their legs worked frantically to escape Ember's grasp. "Be careful, though, they can be fatal to non dragons, but only if they sting you. Of course they have to get free to do that -- whoops!" Session 93.4 Ardashir sonicandmario826 "Good thing we’re all immortal. Right Rutherford?...... Rutherford?....... Oh dear...." Rutherford was sick but he’d make it. "Yak SMASH PUNY VENOM!!!...But first, Yak take tiny little nap." He Passed out on the spot. Session 93.5 Kendell2 Applejack decided to go for a bit of a challenge in Manecraft...and noticed the Buffet World Type option. You could use it to make all kinds of stuff...so she decided to make a Jungle biome spawn in the Cave World type (which basically amounted to the world being formed like the Nether except with that biome instead). She loaded in...and found herself on top of the bedrock. "What the..." After some searching, she found some Jungle Temples emerging from the bedrock (though unfortunately the first few's loot was just okay at best)...and then realized she'd need to dig down underneath it. "Okay, shouldn't be too hard..." She managed to make it down into the caves...and came out on an island floating in the middle of the cave...and covered in Creepers. "HORSEAPPLES!" Several explosions later (and the island being nearly blown clean in half), she had the island lit up enough to look around. "Wonder if peaceful mobs can even spawn here..." she said, then blinked as she looked at a nearby lava pit...and saw cows spawning around it deep underground. "...Well...that answers that question." She decided to build over to look closer...and instantly was chased by Creepers and cornered near another lava pit...and knocked right into lava by a zombie the moment she built out of that situation. OOC: Just happened to me. Session 93.6 Unown3 Tirek asked, "How are you even feeding all of these hatchlings? I thought your hunger was never ending." "Remember those computers the pink pony gave us? There was a 'meet the staff event in character' event, in World of Horsecraft, and I met some very nice friends." Tirek giggled, "Oh right, I'll admit, figuring out how to ruin somepony's day in Crystals and Rainbow Online with no combat mechanics or means to harm the other players was a refreshing challenge for me! But how does that help with feeding your new brood?" "Well, I began talking with three of the developer's hired help, we really hit it off. And they gave me some absolutely wonderful ideas. Of untapped loved, from ponies that no pony in Equestria are going to notice are acting listless, lifeless, and being mindless slaves to a pretty face that they don't even actually know." - "I love you Chrissy-Chan," said Gizmo to the digital pretty school filly on his computer screen. She was an Earth Pony like him (as was adjustable in the options menu) and had black fur, green hair and eyes and a dragonfly cutie mark. "Oh and I love you too Gizmo. And you don't want to spend any time with any other girls but me," said the digital voice on the screen. "Only I understand you, only I value you. Other girls will just make fun of you and judge you. Only I can give you the comfort you want in this cold cruel world." "Yes... yes... buying this dating Sim was the best choice of my life!" "Yes, yes it was. Thank you for purchasing this copy of 'Happy Happy Heart-Pounding Love Hive.' And you should share a copy of me with all your basement dwelling, mouth breathing, Otaku friends, so they can be loved too." "Yes, yes I will Chryssy..." "And don't get sharing this with the wrong creatures, or talking about this, or do anything whatsoever that might endanger our special relationship, you wouldn't want that, would you Gizmo?" "No! No I wouldn't!" Gizmo frantically typed. "Good boy." The eyes on the screen glowed. "Who do you love?" "You Chryssy... only you Chryssy..." He said as his love was sucked out of him and into the screen. As were countless other Otakus around Equestria and Equus (in particular Neighpon), being streamed into storage to be fed to the waiting mouthes of Chrysalis' new brood. - "They also gave lots of tips on making sure programs don't magically gain free will, a conscience, or ambition of their own, apparently this one dating-sim company in the human world learned its lesson about something or other, and will stick to their function of harvesting love from the pathetic stallions of Equus desperate for a relationship and none of the dejection and pain that the learning curve requires to get one." "So no different really from those who usually design those games." "Not really no." Session 93.7 Mtangalion "Just what do you think you're doing?!" Starlight Glimmer tapped a hoof expectantly. Sitting in Rarity's throne at the Cutie Map table, Garble looked at the wingless Spike to his left, and the winged Spike to his right. "Um... playing poker?" "Duh!" chimed in another Garble... a year older or younger, it was hard to tell. "Playing poker!" fumed Starlight. "Having even more cross-temporal interactions with your other selves, potentially creating even more paradoxes! Where's that paper bag..." A considerably larger and more mature Spike, who barely fit in Twilight's throne, grinned handsomely down at her. "Well, yeah, that's the thing, Glimglam. I can't remember any of this stuff happening when I was his age." He pointed at another Spike across the table. "Or his. So obviously, you're going to cast some kind of cool spell that will keep our memories separate until we're out of the time wrinkle. No paradox, no worries!" A wingless baby dragon Garble, sitting in the small throne that had originally been Spike's, looked around the table, pouting. "Huh? I don't get to remember how us dragons are totally gonna be ruling over you stupid weakling ponies in the future? Lame." He tore off part of the jeweled armrest and ate it. Fortunately, the pieces of the Cutie Map were still growing back instantly. "You know that Twilight tends to freak if I so much as mention memory altering spells!" Starlight sighed. "I guess there's no alternative now, though. Wait..." She did another quick count of the beings at the table. Who the heck are you?!" Some kind of pink and purple half-pony, half-dragon creature who looked suspiciously like Diamond Tiara was lounging in a gaudy, jeweled lawn chair topped with a golden apple. "Oh, don't mind me!" said the young Yokai. "Nothing's been happening in my world, and I saw a juicy Chaos Nexus over in this one, so Uncle said I could come visit!" Starlight put her hoof down. "No! Bad! We have more than enough chaos here!" She started firing off powerful spells. "Memory charms! Time wrinkle smoothing! Chaos banishment! Done!" "Oh, you're so gonna regret this later," said an amused Diamond, but she vanished all the same. When the room stopped spinning, only one Garble and one Spike sat at the table, both with wings and about the right age. Spike frowned. "Well, it was fun while it lasted." Garble doubled over meanwhile, clutching his head. "OW! What the heck? I just remembered everything younger me did this whole past week... and mini-me too! Argh, no fair! Why doesn't Spike have a killer headache?" Spike shrugged. "I'm not an expert with this timey-wimey stuff, but you're the oldest Garble that was displaced in time. I'm not... that grownup me is the one getting all his memories back. I wonder if I can remember to have a dragon-sized aspirin ready..." Starlight conjured an ice pack and dropped it onto Garble's head. "Now, what do we say?" "Up yours!" roared Garble, adding a certain claw gesture that dragons and griffons had in common. Spike smirked. "He means 'thank you.'" Session 93.8 Ardashir "Now that I have some were-skunks for my tribe," Fluttershy looked on as her new skunks compared scent control tips, "I wonder how the rest of the girls are doing?" *** "All right, y'all know how yore supposed ta behave from now on?" Applejack stood before her gathered canine pack, their alpha. "Never betray family, family is pack, and pack is everything," two recently-bitten weredogs with red and white coats said in unison. "Also, stop cheating ponies all the time." Applejack sat her flank down, wagging her tail in glee. "Ah finally got some use out o' Flim an' Flam. Well, game-built NPC version o' them, anyhow. This is a great game!" She rubbed her forepaws together. "The rest o' the girls cain't be doin' better than me." *** "Yay! Another recruit to the weremonkey tribe!" Monkey Pie hugged the be-monkied Cranky. He returned the hug and went swinging into the trees to join the party behind Pinkie. Behind her a whole tribe of monkeys was laughing, swinging by their tails, and singing scat under the direction of a potbellied orang-utan. "Swing it for Queen Pinkie, boys!" He sang out, slapping out the tune on his bulging belly. *** "Gee if only I could do this to the real Soarin'," Cheetah Dash whooped for joy as the formerly injured pegasus rose on spindly legs, looking confused to be a feline. The rest of the cheetah pride yowled their support as Dash jumped up on a nearby stump. "Okay, guys, back ta camp!" "Race ya!" They called it as one and charged off for the lair. "Loser has to clean the den!" Dash laughed. "That's the spirit!" *** "Welcome to the flock, Moondancer," Were-owl Twilight looked proud as NPC-Moondancer flew up into the trees with the rest of her owls. They were looking around at everything, but when she spoke they all turned their heads to watch her. Twilight clapped her wings. "I still think that's neat. Okay, my therianthropic strigiform tribe, it's time to plan how to deal with the other werebeast tribes." Owl-Moondancer raised a pen and paper in one sharp talon. "Can we take notes!" "Everyone can take notes!" Twilight called back, and felt her chests swell with pride at the chorus of delighted hoots. Session 93.9 Mtangalion Blueblood, Prince of the werefoxes, was having a delightful time lording it over his new subjects when two foals rushed out of the forest, small but sharp knives in hoof. "Button," said Sweetie Belle worriedly, "are you sure these are the best outfits for monster hunting?" She tugged at her very pink and very short-skirted tunic. "No time to worry about that now!" shouted Button Mash, with a spiky blond mane and an obnoxiously orange jumpsuit. "We’re gonna make sure these monster foxes never attack our secret village again!" They ran at Blueblood, shouting heroically, but the werefox prince snatched the foals up in two of his tails, then casually nipped them both. "Or, you could stop being weak and boring mortal ponies, and join me." The foals thrashed, quickly sprouting fluffy fox fur and shredding their outfits. "Whoa... you’re right!" yipped the newly-minted orange werefox kit. He snarled and swung his paws, sharp little claws flashing. "I feel way stronger!" The white and pink kit swished her tail adorably. "Yeah, what were we thinking?" Blueblood nodded regally. "Now go back to your secret village and nip all your friends. We must bolster our forces... I sense that a new faction has joined the game." Elsewhere, Spike the were-dragon had Rarity in a tight embrace, his fangs sunk into her shoulder, while the last of her fox fur shed away, replaced by ivory scales stronger than steel. "Oh yes, my lord Spike!" moaned Rarity. "Why did I ever imagine I should be anything but yours?" Spike grinned sharply at the new were-dragon. "Why indeed? Now, come on! We have to hoard treasure and grow a lot bigger before the other were-tribes claim all the good territories." Session 93.10 Ardashir and Unown3 In the Game Master room, Dragon Lord Ember was eating jeweled popcorn in a plush chair. She was delighted by what she saw on screen. "I always knew the little guy had it in him! That's it! Bite all the ponies! Dragons forever!" "Well, Rarity's out of the game," Discord said crossing out Rarity's picture. "Her faction is now under the control of an NPC. I figured Applejack or Rainbow Dash would be the first to go. Oh well. Let's see how this goes." Session 93.11 Unown3 Spoilers for Season 9, episode 4. "THEY TOOK MY ANCESTRAL THRONE AND TURNED IT INTO A FENCE?! ... This is just one more thing they'll pay for!" Chrysalis hissed. -- "TWIIIIILIIIIGHT!" Trixie cried. "Why didn't you have Trixie as part of your heist?! Trixie has experience breaking into places... to protect precious treasure from the legendary thief Rough Diamonds... And TRIXIE LIVES FOR DISTRACTIONS! Not some flash in the pan country singer with an over inflated sense of presence!" "Uh, sorry Trixie... I ... didn't think of you?" "MY HOUSE IS LITERALLY PARKED OUT SIDE YOUR CASTLE!" "And seriously Twilight," Starlight said. "I could have thought of five or seven different ways to steal that crown." "How many don't involve mind control?" "And when did your brother say that mind control was forbidden?" "He also didn't say banishing guards to the moon was forbidden, but we can assume it was an unspoken agreement." - "I am surprised Twilight didn't banish some guards to the moon as part of her plan, I had welcome treats and everything," Princess Luna said. "Since when has my sister ever gone for the direct approach first?" Shining Armor said. "It's all check-lists or schedules for her. It's like Fluttershy and her filing cabinet of phobias... right next to Twiley's filing cabinet of phobias... fear for her friends and family is one of the few things that can override it, both ponies and her books... Which actually explains why she acted so reckless when Chrysalis had me brainwashed." Then a scroll appeared. "Huh?... Twiley challenges invited me to host another role playing game with me... girl doesn't know when to quit..." "Didn't you stop Oubliette Overseering with her because she kept derailing your campaigns?" "How did you know?!" "Your subconscious tells all. The dream of the giant purple dragon wrecking your carefully constructed kingdom of cardboard for starters." "Well, time to get back in the saddle." - "Seriously Twiley... you want to Oubliette Overseer a heist adventure?" Shining Armor asked looking over the module. "YOU'LL NEVER SEE IT COOOOOOMING!" Twilight declared as she broke out into a dance. 'You asked for Twiley...' Session 93.12 Unown3 Spoilers for Season 9, episode 4. Discord angrily popped in. "TWILIGHT! YOU DID SOMETHING UNEXPECTED BY DOING THE EXPECTED BEFORE I COULD! SHAME ON YOU!" And Discord popped out again. "That was actually rather satisfying..." Twilight said. Session 93.13 Unown3 Spoilers for Season 9, episode 4. "Why are wearing those pink arm bands with the luv-cat pictures on them?" An innocent unicorn foal asked a royal guard. "We are wearing these bands of shame so all might know of our failure." "What failure is that?" "We are not allowed to say." Princess Luna had in fact gotten the idea from the human world where some guards were indeed made to wear pink arm bands for minor offenses. That the royal guards had fallen for Pinkie Pie and Applejack's distractions, and Applejack had successfully snagged a guard star, was proof to the guards that while they had certainly improved, they were still room for improvement. Also inspired from what she'd learned from the human world, she'd also commissioned a Combine (yes that's what the plural for mimes is) of mimes to mock bad drivers in Manehatten, as long as they didn't lock ponies in invisible boxes. - "And I, Pinkamina Diane Pie, swear to never reveal the deep dark origin of Marshmallows to Ponykind," Pinkie Pie said, swearing on a stack of marshmallows. "Thanks... cousin," Applejack said, "Can ya get these old oinkers to Griffonstone?" "On the double." The griffons would get the meat, the diamond dogs the bones, and equestrian marshmallow makers would get the cartilage. - Apple Bloom asked innocent, "Applejack, where do they come from?" "What? Marshmallows? Why are ya askin'-" "Uh no, Ah know that already. Ah meant why are barns red?" "HUH?! OH! That... Well, early earth ponies thought painting their houses was a sign of vanity, which they associated with the tyrannical unicorn elites, since paint at the time wasn't used for anything but to look pretty. To protect their barns from erosion, instead it was "right wood, right place, needed no paint". Earth ponies dealt out extra to pegasi as 'protection money' to keep the wind, sun, and rain off their barns, and combined with lots of heartwood. "Eventually earth ponies fed up with that, and one clever pony came up with a mix of milk, lime, turpentine, linseed oil , makin' it brunt orange to protect from rain... but it didn't protect from mold and moss, so they added in rust, making it red, and it was literally dirt cheap since rust is everywhere. "By the time paint was mass produced, red was the cheapest again cause rust was dirt cheap... but now red barns are tradition, of which there is no greater thing... Oh, and did ya know? Barn came from the words "bere" and "aern" meaning grain and storage... Twili taught me that one..." "Ah figured..." "Wait... you know about the secret of marshmallows?" "Wait, that was supposed to be a secret?" "Oh-Oh." - "Baby, I know you love me, but ya gotta give me some space." Said a stallion loudly. To the annoyance of everyone in the movie theater. "And now the hero is fighting some bad guy with chains." Said a pony, her horn and quill growing brightly as she wrote down everything that was happening to magic the message to her friend. The light distracting everyone around here. Then a mare completely covered in black like a kabuki theater stage hand grabbed the stallion. While a colt similarity disguised (except for his beanie) grabbed the mare. Maternity was reluctant to bring Button Mash to her other job, rather than taking him to the Daycare she usually ran... but today was the day that 'bring you foal to work' day fell on, and her husband was unavailable, as usual. "I'm telling you! That theater has ninjas!" Swore one pony as Lyra and Bon Bon entered the movie theater. (A London theater did hire people to do this.) - "Rainbow Dash. You cost my brother his job. You manipulated him. You will go on one date with him, as long as he doesn't try to get you to lift your tail, you will be polite to him the entire time." "I will... be polite the entire time." Repeated back Rainbow Dash under the might of the Stare. "Princess Luna! You will arrange Zephyr to get a job with Canterlot's best hair dressers. Wether he's fired after that is his own fault." "Thy Stare cannot dominate us... but we shall do as ye request of." "And Rarity, you'll recommend Zephyr to all your friends for mane care unless he gives you a reason not to." "Yes darling... I obey." "OH FLUTTERSHY! I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU!" Discord said popping in and hugging her. "Now I can invite you to the Equestrian Hypnotist/Mind-Controller/Brainwashers Club!" "Oh!" Fluttershy blushed deeply. "I'm just looking out for my little brother, I do think he need to take care of himself, but that does't mean I can't be in his corner." --- "Don't worry Wuv Cats! I've come to rescue you and set you free!" Cozy Glow said, undoing their cages and letting them into a large cave... that lit up with circular torches revealing an arena with young black changelings all around. "Of your need to think or worry about anything." "Feed!" Chrysalis pointed. "And don't forget, first, second, and third place get a nice shiny medal!" A magical score board showing who had drained the most love-cats was illuminated. "YAY!" Cheered the young changelings happily, wishing each other luck, and some giving each other friendly rival grins. "Let the Glutton Bowl begin!" Chrysalis' changelings swarmed. Cozy Glow watched the sport with Tirek and a bag of popcorn. Session 93.14 Ardashir "No no no!" Twilight Owl hooted as she dodged another blast of fire from the white-scaled elegant dragoness. She ducked under a snatching claw. "Nopony, er, owl told me there'd be a kirin faction!" All about her, her were-owl flock -- at least those that were still were-owls -- either tried to attack the chief were-dragon's weak spots or sought to save the notes they'd been keeping. Their enraged hoots filled the air along with the soft rustling of owl wings in flight. At least until the were-dragons took to the air with roars, their wing-membranes snatching at the air like claws as they flew at the were-owls. Claws closed on feathered bodies, holding them helpless as they pecked at impregnable scaly flesh. Gleaming fangs nipped them lightly. The were-owls dropped to the forest floor, writhing as a new and strange transformation twisted their flesh. Feathers became thick scales. Beaks became long reptilian muzzles. Wings turned to membranes. And when they rose? "All hail Kirin-Lord Spike and his consort Lady Rarity!" They roared. They flew after the ever-decreasing flock of owls. "All shall serve him!" "You got that right!" Spike stretched his long neck and preened. As a kirin, he was already in adult form if not adult size, being only slightly larger than Big Mac. He stabbed a claw in Twilight's direction. "Get that last owl, she's their leader!" Eager dragons flew after her, screeching and roaring as they grabbed at her. "Ahhh!" Twilight spell-blasted them back, sending the beasts tumbling away with angry roars. She flew for the edge of the clearing. Once she was among the trees, she could escape. The dragons would have to tear them apart to get through them. She could rest, and recoup her losses from the other tribes, and plan to defeat her treacherous assistant. "Spike! How can you do this? I always treated you great!" "Sorry Twilight," Spike called from where he hovered, surrounded by his kirin and with Rarity beside him. "But whenever we played games you were always out for blood. Your father, your mother, Shiny, me, Princess Celestia, you never 'let' anyone win. Fair's fair!" He waggled one claw in admonishment. He gave a yell as a spell-blast went off in his face. "Laugh that off!" Twilight called back to him as she flew under the trees. Safe at last! Maybe she should track down the other tribe-leaders and warn them about Spike's kirin. And if they weren't wary enough? Well, a single peck from her would recruit them and remove a rival. A smile curved on Twilight's beak at the thought. Like Spike said, nopony ever got an easy win from her. "Twilight." A palomino stood under the trees, her green eyes almost aglow in the darkness. "What are ya doin' here?" "Applejack!" Twilight dropped down in front of her. Spike's kirin were nowhere to be heard. Had she already outdistanced them? She transformed back into her pony form. "Listen, Discord and Spike tricked us. He's leader of a tribe of kirin. They just wiped out my owls..." She yelled as Applejack dove on her, and froze as she transformed into a large golden-scaled dragoness. "Ah know. He came here right after gettin' mah were-dogs." Applejack lowered her scaly muzzle and bit. Moments later a pair of kirin, one golden and one purple, flew back out of the forest to land and bow at Spike's clawed feet. All around him the kirin were digging out and squabbling over whatever treasures Twilight's owls had assembled from the ponies they transformed. "All hail the King of Kirin," they said in unison. "Command us, oh master." "Hah!" Spike hugged Rari-dragon close. He pointed a claw at Twilight. "For once I get to assign the chores." "Yeah," Twilight said, looking up, her eyes aglow with a warning. "But just remember what can happen when the game is over, for your mommy." Spike gulped. "Uh, maybe we can go easy on the chores and just concentrate on winning the game." *** Still watching in the game room, Ember capped her claws and cheered. "Hah! Spike's better at this than I ever would have thought! I'm beginning to wonder why dragons ever feared ponies." Even as she spoke, out the opposite window, a massive dimensional tear appeared over Canterlot. A hideous mass of tentacles began reaching out, glowing darkly with unlight, dripping abyssal slime as it sought to drag all Equestria into its own nameless dimension. That is until a gleaming ray of light came down from the very sun in the sky and reduced it to ashes. Celestia went back inside the Sun Palace and returned to her cake and tea. Ember gulped. "Heh. Oh yeah. That." Session 93.15 Mtangalion On one of Discord’s screens, werefox Prince Blueblood paused, glancing around. "If any creature is listening, I say again, I’m the real Prince Blueblood, and I did not agree to..." Discord hastily waved that screen away. "Goodness," he said to Ember’s raised eyebrow. "I was such a kidder when I made that obvious NPC." Session 93.16 Kendell2 Spike blinked as his Werekirin ran out of the large den dug out. He growled and tried to jump in himself...only to get a face full of Wereskunk spray. His face turned green and he fell on his back grabbing his nose with a gag. While naturally not hurting him (no one could actually get hurt) it wasn't pleasant by any stretch. "No fair! Dragons shouldn't be bothered by something like skunk spray!" Fluttershy came out, not looking particularly happy. "Spike, did you like it when Twilight got sprayed during Winter Wrap Up?" "No..." "Then why would you here?" asked Fluttershy. "The entire point of skunk spray is to protect them from things bigger and stronger than them. Besides, do you really think Discord would give you something that could beat me easily?" "...No..." "If the others want to fight you, they can, but I just want to build up my civilization and enjoy the game. I never wanted to be part of the fighting part...though I will defend myself if needed...and in all honesty, you and Discord aren't playing fair," said Fluttershy sternly. "What? We're just playing to win!" Fluttershy looked at him, reminding him that this wasn't the same Fluttershy he'd met that day in Ponyville. She'd gotten much more assertive and willing to put her hoof down. "What are your weaknesses? What can anyone do to stop you from just crushing everyone else?" "...Well...uh...skunk spray?" "Only because I know Discord and he probably wanted me to not be stomped by you," said Fluttershy. "If Twilight were still a Wereowl, my Wereskunks' musk wouldn't have any effect on her at all, and there are ways around it. It's no fun to play a game when the rest of the players don't stand any chance at all against you, is it?" "Well...I guess you've got a bit of a point..." "If you want to keep playing like this, I won't stop you, but I will play the game the way I want to," Fluttershy continued, returning to her den with her group. "Oh, and by the way, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie know what you're up to, they're not going down as easily as Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity did if you decide to pick on them." She left out that both of them had gotten some 'stink bomb ingredients' from her. "Oh..." Applejack coughed, holding her nose. "So, 'King', any clue where to find enough tomato juice to deskunk our entire pack?" "...Oh...Oh boy..." "Country management is part of the game," Twilight, doing the same. "Do you have any resources...AT ALL?" "...Horseapples..." Session 93.17 Jarkes (OOC: Adding something based on what Cathy Weseluck said about Spike's relationship with Twilight on Twitter) "I'm confused," Starlight said. "Is Twilight's Spike's mom or older sister? Feels like sometimes she acts like his mom and other times she acts like a sister." Spike put a claw to his chin. "Well... Twilight hatching my egg probably made me more or less imprint on her, but since Twilight's own parents raised me the most, I... guess it could be both?" "...That'll work," Starlight replied. Session 93.18 Mtangalion At the Friendship Gaming Academy, Rainbow Dash was following Starlight Glimmer through the hallways... actually walking on the ground at an ordinary pace, in an incredible display of patience, for her. "So, a lot of creatures are complaining about my new ‘Learn awesomeness by flying over creatures being awesome course’ ... because they can’t fly. Duh. But if we could zap all of them with that magic wings spell..." Starlight had a thoughtful look. "Mass-casting that spell would be hard, even for me, but perhaps I could..." She opened a door with her magic and stepped out into an open-air courtyard... only to have her hooves slip all over the unexpectedly icy pavement. The unicorn face-planted and lay there twitching. "Ow..." Rainbow zipped outside, hovering over the ice. "I didn’t do it." Starlight smirked. "And yet you’re so quick to deny. Winter Wrap-Up was weeks ago. How..." Her eyes widened, seeing Pavel the Diamond Wolf pup and Scruff the Diamond Dog pup in the center of the little patch of deep winter. "Oh no, they’re fighting again!" Starlight braced herself to rush into the fray, but Rainbow suddenly held up a hoof and shook her head, making a shushing motion. Starlight blinked, then took another look, listening. The pups were sitting back on their haunches facing each other, each pressing his forepaws against the other’s with foreheads adorably furrowed in concentration. "This is kinda fun," Scruff admitted. The storm clouds summoned by their combined ice magic swirled above their heads, dumping more snow. He smirked, showing his fangs a bit. "Even if it’s obviously some kind of wolf trick!" Pavel matched the grin. "Maybe trick, maybe not!" "Back in the mines," mused Scruff, "the other dogs got mad at me every time I showed off my magic. ‘Stop getting snow in tunnels! Bad dog, you clean up this mess!’ You’re trying to get me in trouble!" "No!" barked Pavel. "Not showing off. Using magic just to show off is bad, good wolves don’t do it! But training’s okay!" He nodded vigorously. Scruff arched a brow. "So, you train a *dog*, who used to be an enemy of your pack? Why?" Pavel winced... Scruff had him there! "Pavel’s learning ice magic with Scruff for, um..." His ears perked up. "Game! Yes! Scruff is opponent, not enemy!" Pavel trailed off, as if he couldn’t believe that he’d actually said such a thing about a diamond dog. He shook himself. "No fun when the game’s too easy." He motioned to the beautifully sculpted two-story ice castle behind him, and then at Scruff’s shoddy, half-melted attempt to do the same. Scruff rose up on two legs, looming. "So you think I’m no good at this, huh?" Grinning, he raised his forepaws over his head... and just stood there, posing. Pavel blinked, flicking one ear. "What’s this, what’re you doing?" The wolf pup wiggled his claws, levitating a half-dozen small snowballs. He lobbed them one by one... they smacked Scruff right in the chest, but the dog just stood there, grinning. "You’re hiding something. I’m watching you, your trick won’t work!" But then Pavel realized that a shadow was falling over him. He looked up, and his ears instantly drooped. There was a massive snowball right over his head, getting fed straight from the snow clouds. The wolf pup yiped as the snowball started to fall... he threw his own forepaws in the air, and the giant snowball stopped, hovering between them, shaking faster and faster until it flew apart! Both pups managed to deflect most of the snow away from themselves with their magic, which meant that Rainbow and Starlight got covered from mane to hooves. Scruff froze. "Did we just..." Pavel gulped. "... snowball our teachers?" The pups looked at each other, then turned tail and ran, yip-yip-yipping! "Hey now, what’s your hurry?" said Dash, shaking the snow off. Moving in a lightning blur, she bucked the snow clouds, tapping once, twice, thrice... and they dumped a tall rampart of snow, cutting off the pups’ escape. Starlight grinned and conjured elemental ice, animating two giant snowpony golems. "You want to play, boys? Let’s play." Scruff and Pavel looked to each other again. "Allies?" offered Pavel. "Friends!" countered Scruff. Pavel scoffed, before grinning and high-pawing with Scruff. The pups stood shoulder to shoulder, animating enough snowballs for a small war, and then the battle was on. Headmare Twilight sipped her morning tea, mildly annoyed by the raging blizzard that she could see out her window, on what should have been a fine spring day. "We should investigate!" exclaimed Spike. "It could be Windigos! Or King Charlatan! Or maybe the Windigos AND King Charlatan, teaming up to conquer Equestria!" Twilight tisked. "Don’t be silly, Spike. Villains only manage to cooperate long enough to team up in those comic books of yours. I bet you 10 bits that Rainbow Dash is involved somehow." Spike sighed and tossed his comic book aside. "No bet." Session 93.19 Unown3 "Where's Princess Wave Dancer?" Starlight asked. "I think she missed one of her sessions with me." "Huh? Oh sorry! I meant to tell you, but I was dealing with Equalists handing out free copies of your manifesto just outside school property... " "I can't belive that's still going on!" "Well, to be fair, without you, the philosophy has had a chance to be 'tweaked' to fit ponies' varying levels of devotion-" "да иди ты! ONE IS EITHER AN EQUALIST OR THEY ARE NOT! THERE IS NO IN-BETWEEN! Oh! Sorry! Engrained reaction, but where is Wave Dancer?" "Oh, we converted a section of the school, and now she's having an underwater polo battle... of MIXED TEAMS of Seaponies and merponies!" "This I have GOT to see!" Session 93.20 Mtangalion "NO!" shouted Spike. "Don't open that door!" Gallus looked over his shoulder. "Huh?" But his claw was already on the door handle, and... BWOOSH! A wall of water poured out, instantly sweeping the young griffon away. "Aw, not again," said Princess Wavedancer, as the torrent carried her and another dozen merpony and seapony students out of their special underwater classroom and into the hall. Spike hovered, giving the minor disaster a flat stare. "Maybe we should clear out the basement and make *that* the underwater zone." He made notes on his clipboard. Gallus surfaced, cringing and yowling. "Yeah, yeah, laugh all you want, but I HATE GETTING WET!" A grinning Silverstream swam over and dropped a transformation pearl necklace around his neck. "There you go! Now you're a catfish bird!" Gallus groaned at his new scales and fins. "This is so not helping." Session 93.21 Ardashir "Yeesh!" Smolder lapped around the corner and looked down on the disaster below. "What happened here?" "Hey!" Silverstream held up another magical pearl necklace. "We have one more spare! Smolder, maybe you want to --" She stopped as Smolder held her muzzle shut with one clawed hand. "I heard what happened ta Spike," Spike looked mortally embarrassed. Smolder folded her arms over her chest. "Anyone tries ta turn ME into some goofy pufferfish an' I'll poison everyone I see." The students and faculty all immediately backed away from the triumphantly smiling little dragon Session 93.22.1 Mtangalion Unown3 Princess Wave Dancer, crawling to her said with a smile, "You know... aquatic adaption magic used for visiting Aquastria is VERY different... you could become a real sea-dragon instead of a puffer fish if you want to give it a try..." Meanwhile, Gallus angrily slapped what water remained with his tailfin. "This doesn't even make sense. I'm a griffon! I can't be a fish. Griffons EAT fish!" Silverstream's eyes widened, and she backed up a bit. "Um, you're not a fish... hehe! Not exactly!" "Define... not exactly." One of the merpony students helpfully conjured a magic mirror, so Gallus could see his beak-like maw full of sharp pointy teeth, and how finely scaled and rough his hide was... and also the large, distinctive fin on his back. "Oh... OH!" He grinned slyly with that maw full of shark teeth, a terrifying sight. "Okay, I feel better now, but could somecreature..." He frowned, thrashing a bit. "... who still has opposable digits... get this necklace off me?!" A certain young yak, also caught in the flood, raised her hoof energetically. "Ooh! Yona wants to try next!" She paused, seeming to reconsider. "But yak still can't swim..." Session 93.23 Ardashir Unown3 Before Smolder could say anything, Sludge waddled in. "Hey, no, try that thing on me!" He grabbed for the pearl. "What? No!" Wave Dancer tried to pull it away from the greedy obese dragon. "That's not for you -- ah!" The pearl of transformation flared as its magic enveloped Sludge. "Hah! All right!" Sludge wriggled in the water. As the horrified students and faculty backed away, he blinked in confusion. "Yeesh, what's wrong?" "Uh, actually?" Smolder gulped at the sight of a four foot long lamprey in Sludge's colors on the floor. "You probably don't wanna know." "What this written here? Storm Empire imitation magic pearl, for display use only, do not use." "Okay, now I can show you how aquatic adaption for merponies would ACTUALLY work!" - "Hey guys, how do I look?" asked a towering orange sea serpent grinning. - Pinkie Pie opened the door to reveal a literal wall of water. "Ooooh, I didn't know water could stand up on it's side." "It can't Pinkie." "It can't? BLAGH!" Rainbow Dash thrashed her mane to get the water out as they were carried along. "TWILIGHT! Next time Pinkie Pie asks you, 'can water stand on its side' YOU SAY YES!" Session 93.24 Kendell2 Twilight was quite fond of the Manecraft castle she'd built around a village, with all the time and effort involved, and using actual historical fortifications. Putting machicolations into all the walls had taken forever, but both looked nice and was practical. The gate house was also designed to let her attack from inside the village walls through one block holes so no one could get in. And as fate would have it, the new update with enhanced villages and hostile pillagers had also been introduced, which included a raid style event that could be triggered. Twilight decided to try it out, and while there were three villages on her way back from the nearest outpost, it was both less practical to do...and she didn't feel right not preparing them for a raid ahead of time like she had her own highly fortified one. So she entered her village and began the raid, with the armed hostile raiders coming...And Twilight smirked when she realized indeed, they had spawned outside the castle walls and thus her villagers were safe. "I think I can do this...wait, what's that noise?" she asked, hearing something in her headset. A Phantom swooped down, leaving her fighting the airborne monsters AND the invading pillagers at the same time. Thankfully having a fortified castle meant she could simply fall back inside and recover, and the natural mote around it bogged down the Pillagers. Their massive war beasts where a serious problem...until she remembered the gate house and lured them in where she could attack them without being knocked back. "I wish I'd had buckets of lava ready..." she admitted, knowing if she had she could've dumped it on their heads through the machicolations. Still, she was thankful for the battlements protecting her from their crossbows. After a long battle, she eventually slayed the last pillager and jumped as fireworks went off and she was declared Hero of the Village. Twilight gave a smile. "And Rainbow Dash said all that historical accuracy was a waste of time. Though next time I'll keep some lava and maybe divide up the inside area in case they do get in." She then gave a happy cry as the first gift a villager gave her was, fittingly enough, a book. OOC: My first pillager raid. Making your village protected by a castle turns out to be very useful. Session 93.25 Unown3 "You want us to WHAT?!" Princess Twilight exclaimed. Prince Shining Armor explained. "I want Starlight Glimmer, along with a hoof full of brainwashed creatures of her own choosing (though I'd prefer if they volunteered to be brainwashed for this exercise) minus myself, to try and sneak in and mind zap Celestia... After what Sombra did, we really need to test out the security system against all the villains who use mind control, and with Starlight the winner of Equestria's Most Powerful Hypnotist, she seems like the logical choice." "So Starlight uses her mind magic on a hoof-full of ponies, minus you, and with them, try to mind zap Celestia just to test to see if it's possible?!" "Yeah, pretty much, we need to test out these new anti-mind-control security somehow, and Starlight's the one expert we have that's on our side. Well, there's you, but having you take a crack at it after you already tested one part of the security system feels like it'll taint the results. There's one major condition. It can't reach mine, Celestia, or Luna that somepony has been mentally compromised, or Starlight loses." "I know I should feel ashamed and/or horrified... but there's a little Starlight in me that's jumping for joy!" Starlight resisted so hard the excitement building up inside her. "And Twiley, don't help or hinder me or Starlight," Shining Armor added. "Alright," Twilight nodded. Hoping that Starlight didn't think to brain-zap her to get around that condition. Or go back in time, and brain zap her before they even made this agreement and implanted a mental suggestion to be activated at Starlight's command, or age regress her into a filly and tell Twilight that Starlight was her babysitter and do what Starlight says... and Twilight REALLY hoped Starlight hadn't found a mind reading spell! Session 93.26 Mtangalion A door burst open into the flooded corridor with all the still aquatically transformed students, and the new mini-waterfall brought Discord to them, lounging on a transparent plastic pool float, and wearing shades and a striped one-piece upper and lower body swimsuit that probably would have given Rarity an aneurysm. Discord flipped up his shades. "Well? Isn't somecreature going to say it? That's how the game is played, after all." Silverstream cleared her throat theatrically. "Discord! So you're responsible for all this chaos!" She dove and surfaced next to Discord, stage whispering, "How was that?" Discord nodded, stroking his goatee, "Not bad... you're no Princess Celestia, but you definitely get points for enthusiasm. Also... Wrong! You splendid, splendid pupils made this chaos all on your own! Though, I won't deny... I am taking full advantage." He pushed back the fur on his lion paw's wrist, exposing a meter with the needle pointing towards Full and beeping loudly. "You children have done such an excellent job of topping up my chaos reserves, I'm inclined to grant a few freebies." Discord snapped his fingers, and Yona transformed into a manatee. She spoke excitedly underwater. Princess Wavedancer ducked her head under the water to listen, then splashed back to the surface. "She said she likes it!" Discord grinned up at Smolder. "And what would you like, my dear?" Smolder craned her serpentine neck to look at Discord nose to nose. "Make me a lot bigger. Duh." "Oh ho!" said Discord. "We're going to need the ocean for that. Field trip!" Session 93.27 Mtangalion Gilda sprawled in the beat-up old living room recliner, dug around in her jeans pocket, and pulled out her phone to fire up one of her guilty pleasures... Last Fantasy Mystic Scribe. Playing World of Horsecraft with Dash was cool and all, but too much of playing the same game for fun that she debugged at work could drive a girl batty. Speaking of which... Gabby bounced right into her field of view, still wearing her postal service uniform. "Tell me how to griffon-up!" "No," said Gilda, leaning to one side so she could see her game and keep playing. Gabby immediately leaned in from the other side of the recliner. "Please, Gilda?" "Nope." They went back and forth and back and forth. "Please... please please..." "Nuh uh!" Gabby pointed a finger at Gilda’s phone. "You should take Excalibur off Bartz and equip the Mana Shard instead. It has bonus fire damage." "Shut up," snapped Gilda. "If that was better, I would have done it already..." She did a double-take, blinking at her phone. "Son of a..." She tapped in the change that Gabby had suggested, hoping she wouldn’t see. "Why are you over here again? Don’t you have your own place?" Gabby flopped on the couch nearby, pulling Ember into her lap. "But this is where most of the cute and cuddly talking dogs are!" "Hey, who are you calling cute!?" snarled Garble... until Gabby started scritching his ears, and then the scruffy red and gold dog got a goofy expression with tongue lolling. "Ugh... more please!" Gabby beamed and started scritching Ember’s belly fur too. "I bet you could tell me how to griffon-up, couldn’t you, Ember? You’re a good girl, aren’t you? Yes, you are!" Ember licked Gabby’s hand, similarly blissed out. "I think you have to go to..." "Don’t tell her that!" shouted Gilda. Right about then, Gallus came downstairs, with Smolder the puppy running in circles around his sneakers and threatening to trip him up. "Play time!" yipped Smolder happily. "Is it play time yet? Is it, is it?" Gallus rolled his eyes and patted her. "In a minute. Um... sis?" He was standing in front of Gilda’s recliner. "Sorry to bother you, but could you help me with some homework?" Gilda frowned, still tapping away at her game. "Unless it’s shop class homework, you’re probably gonna be disappointed. And don’t call me sis." In the rocking chair across the room, Grampa Gruff lowered his newspaper, giving them an evil cackle. "Gilda, don’t talk to your brother that way." Garble jerked a thumb-claw towards Smolder. "I’m starting to agree with newbie there. Come on, why isn’t it playtime yet!?" Gilda gritted her teeth. "You know... since you dogs are smart now, you could open that door and let yourselves into the backyard. Heck, you could toss the ball to each other!" Garble, Smolder, and Ember all stared at her, muzzles hanging open. Gilda smirked. "Whoops, I broke their tiny doggy brains again." "Hey!" barked Garble. "Our brains are NOT..." "Squirrel." "Where!? Where, where’s the squirrel!?" "I rest my case," said Gilda, nose in her mobile phone game again. Session 93.28 Unown3 Rainbow Dash asked awkwardly, "Twilight... why is the adventure map a mess... why do your notes look like my high school history final, and ... uh, your face... kinda reminds me off... " "The Smarty Pants Incident?" Rarity finished, feeling her fur stand on edge from looking at the chaotic and sloppy state their Ogres and Oubliettes game was in. "Well... after Dusty Pages got me to let go of perfection... I decided to do exactly what Starlight Glimmer did and instead of finding a more mature and balanced view of doing my best... I went for the totally opposite direction and embrace imperfection!" Session 93.29 Unown3 "Also as part of my new philosophy of imperfection, I've placed the new lava pool for dragon students and water pool for seapony and mere pony student right next to each other." Twilight said with a demented imperfect smile with an imperfect mane cut. The entire castle rumbled. A wall of fog came crashing through, carrying along griffins, pegasi, and other winged creatures for whom clouds were like solid matter. "RUN FOR IT!" Rainbow shouted. The Mane Six and Spike fled the castle as the mass of fog engulfed the castle. - "Hey Fluttershy!" Zephyr Breeze boasted. "Guesss what?" "You got a clue?" Rainbow injected. "Remember my investment in Cloud Bricks?" Rainbow sniggered. "Right, that idiotic idea for square clouds..." "Well they perfect technology! Cloud brick houses are being used in all the new cloud constructions now!" 'Oh right, I remember painfully running into one,' Rainbow thought. "And as their sole major share holder, that means I'm rich!" Zephyr cheered. 'Great, what Equestria needs, another rich idiot,' Rainbow thought. "OH!... I'm very happy for you little brother," Fluttershy said. "And I even found an investment firm to help me handle my cash so I don't go blowing it! F&F Inc! They say somepony like me with that much money, it would be a crime for me to not work with them!" "... " Rainbow and Fluttershy looked at each other. "Uh, is this firm based in Los Pegasus?" "How did you know?!" "Uh, Zephyr, you haven't signed anything yet have you?" Rainbow Dash asked. Fluttershy meanwhile called. "Discord? Could you come pretty please?" Discord appeared. "Just because you said please, and because it's you Fluttershy! Oh! It's him!" Discord said seeing Zephyr and thinking of what creative ways he could ahem, 'not' hurt. "Can you please turn me into Fluttercruel for 12 hours and leave me alone with Flim and Flam please?" "... Well this is unusual." Session 93.30 Ardashir "You!" Twilight stormed through the crowds waiting outside the sports auditorium in Flim and Flam's casino. "You're the cause of all this! So you're going to help fix it!" Zephyr fought to escape her telekinetic grip as the not-very-friendly-at-the-moment Princess of Friendship dragged him along behind her. A smiling Rainbow Dash followed at a distance, scarfing popcorn. Before them a pair of doors were open wide under banners reading EQUESTRIAN CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING. Special One Night Event Only! Triple Threat Tag Team Event featuring the return of Diamante Elegante! Mystery Mare! And for the first time anywhere, Flutterrage, third member of the Elements of Destruction! Versus the Stable of Savagery, the Herd of Horror, the Dark Princesses Sunset Stomp, Night Terror, and Heartbreaker! Twilight scowled to see on one side, three very familiar looking ponies -- Cheerilee, Rarity, and Fluttershy, all dressed in full body suits like they had for that wrestling event years ago. On the other side to her disgust were three mares -- a flaming unicorn, a dark purple pegasus, and a lovely if wicked-looking pink Earth pony. All three wore gear designed to make them resemble alicorns. "Huh," Dash scratched her chin at the sight of the posters. "How th' hay did Flim and Flam get this all set up and promoted in less than a day? It's amazing how things can move at the speed of plot sometimes." "Speaking of plots, Dash honey," Zephyr smiled and began saying as an angry Twilight bought their tickets. Dash stuck her hoof in his mouth. "One more word and I hurt you," she said in perfect calmness. Zephyr gulped and shut up. Tickets in hoof the three made their way to ringside through a crowd of ponies from all three tribes -- as well as cheering teenage dragons, snorting minotaurs tossing their horns, yelping Diamond Dogs with their fur dyed in unnatural (for them) shades, and shrieking griffins with a banner that bore the legend DARK PRINCESSES 4 EVER. Twilight snorted, lowered her head like she wanted to gore someone, and forced her way to ringside where Discord stood. "Oh, Twilight! Fancy seeing you here!" Discord waved at her. He wore a plaid jacket so loud Twilight wondered how it was legal along with wraparound shades and a Griffonstone fez. "Oh, and you brought Fluttershy's little brother." He looked sour. "What a pleasure." "Discord," Twilight snapped. Rarity and Cheerilee at least tried to look abashed as Twilight gave them dirty looks before turning to -- was that Fluttershy? The yellow pegasus was snorting and tossing her mane, wings flared out, and glaring at the other side of the ring which stood empty and awaiting the arrival of the Dark Princesses. "Flutters?" Ignoring Discord's sudden warning hand waves, Twilight approached the savage mare. "Is that you? Look, I know about your brother," she frowned at Zephyr, "and the business with Flim and Flam. We can get the money back legally without stooping to this savagery." She reached out and touched Fluttershy's near wither. The next thing Twilight knew she hurled screaming into the middle of the ring. Fluttershy took to the air, eyes ablaze. "SO! YOU WANT SOME FLUTTERRAGE TOO, MISS PRISSY PRINCESS? I'VE GOT PLENTY TO GO AROUND!" With a berserk whinny she dove on Twilight and a dustball of Y7-rated violence filled the ring. "Okay," Dash hovered beside Discord. "So, uh, I thought you were gonna turn Fluttercruel loose on those swindlers." She winced as something in the ring brought howls of bloodthirsty glee from the audience. "Okay, that looks painful." "Well, I did," Discord said, waving his hand and making a bullhorn appear (a nearby minotaur suddenly found himself less a horn). "But when Flim and Flam suggested to Fluttershy that she could solve all her foolish brother's debts and earn enough to keep the animal sanctuary going for a year with just one little wrestling match, Fluttershy was delighted." He shrugged, ignoring Twilight's pleas for mercy, Flutterrage's howls of fury, and the crowd's hideous glee. "Turns out she likes pro wrestling. Who knew?" Twilight slammed down near them, gripping the ring mat with both forehooves. "For Celestia's sake get me out of here!" Yellow hooves dragged her back in. "Ahhhh!" "Okay, much as I enjoy stuff like this, I feel like we should be adults and get Twi and Flutter out of this mess." Dash nodded at the ring. "Okay, but then," Discord grinned and pointed his thumb at Zephyr, who was making eyes at Dash. "You won't get to see me toss him into the ring with the three Dark Princesses. And they're in such a bad mood." "Really?" Dash stretched and leaned back. "Be a shame to waste the tickets." She smiled innocently at Zephyr as she thought of what was to come. And that fool Zephyr smiled right back. Session 93.31 Mtangalion "I’m having second thoughts about this," muttered Gilda, surveying the tower before them. Like every structure in Griffonstone that was more than a year old, it was looking worse for wear. On the other claw, it was the only building still standing in this part of the former royal court, and at three stories high, it might have been one of the tallest intact buildings in the whole city. "Gabby should be the one doing this. Knocking on doors and talking to strange griffs is her thing." Gabby tapped her talons together, blushing. "Well, he kind of already slammed the door in my face when I said I didn’t have a package for him." Gerold chuckled, leaning close and draping a wing over Gilda’s back. "You’re the one who’s supposed to be our guiding light of friendship stuff, Gil. Don’t tell me you’re afraid." Gilda smirked and nuzzled Gerold’s cheek, then shoved him away playfully. "As if. Well, here goes..." Gilda sucked in a deep breath, and knocked on the tower door authoritatively. Immediately, there was a great clatter from within the tower, as if some startled griffon had bumped into a precariously balanced pile of junk and brought it tumbling down. Boreas knows, they’d all heard plenty of that around Griffonstone! "Go away!" squawked a voice, in a heavy Old Griffish accent. "I mean... who dares intrude!?" A small panel in the door slid open, and the griffon inside glared at them. The eyes blinked slowly. "Well, this is a strange assemblage to find on my doorstep. I don’t see any torches or pitchforks, and you hardly look an adventuring party, or a gaggle of grifflets knocking on the door of the ‘big bad wizard’ on a dare..." The eyes narrowed. "I warn you! If you mean me harm, I’m more than capable of raining fire and ruin down on you from here to..." "Yeah, yeah, we don’t need any of that," interrupted Gilda. "You’re Giles, right? Can you lift a buckball basket with magic?" "What... what did you say!?" They heard several locks being unlocked, and what sounded like a ward being dispelled, before the tower door flew open and the wizard popped out. He was small and scruffy, for a griffon... ponies would have said that he resembled a great horned owl crossed with a cougar, wearing a vest and slightly-cracked spectacles. "Well, of course!" he said, feathers a bit ruffled. "That’s the least of what Giles, mightiest griffon wizard of the age, can do! But why..." "For buckball!" squealed Gabby happily, leaning definitely too far into Giles’ personal space. "It’s a game where..." Giles drew back, glaring at her suspiciously. "Yes, yes, I know perfectly well what buckball is... for with my mystic arts, I have gazed far and wide..." "So you already know the rules!" exclaimed Gabby. "That’s great!" Gerold cleared his throat, trying not to intimidate the smaller griff. "So, it’s like this... There’s a big buckball tournament coming up, and we want to field a Griffonstone team for an exhibition match! I can do the kicking stuff on the ground, and nobody can dodge and weave in the air like Gabs... but ponies will say we’re not a real team unless we’ve got the magic part covered too." He grinned. "And that’s where you come in! If, you know, you want to and stuff..." Giles blinked at them owlishly. "Nogriffon has ever knocked on my door just to ask me to play a friendly game with them..." He lifted a foreleg and casually beckoned with glowing talons, causing four chairs and a table to come flying through the air and neatly arrange themselves on the lawn. "Come, sit. Tell me more..."