Outside Canterlot Castle, Twilight Sparkle glumly kicks one of the rocks in her path. Abandoned by her friends, all alone, and nothing to look forward to except a thousand years of Discord’s reign. If they even know how to keep track of time, given how the sun and moon are flipping through the sky like Rainbow Dash trying to break her cloudbusting record. Well, if there’s one thing to be thankful for, it’s that she isn’t currently getting-
Twilight Sparkle sighs heavily as a pink blob forms above her.
Rained on.
Her and her big mouth. Figures. Her mane is instantly drenched by chocolate milk, her bangs flopping in front of her eyes. A hard blow from her mouth isn’t quite enough to push it away, a sopping wet hoof doing the trick as puddles forming around her hooves. At least she can still-
Twilight’s eyes go wide as the liquid turns to ice. Each leg tries to go a different direction, her barrel painfully complaining as she lands hard.
Walk.
Twilight sighs, not even feeling up to messing with her horn. At least nopony is laughing at her, though in the back of her mind she can hear Fluttershy cackling. Not the quiet chuckle of the mare, tittering when she sees something humorous but doesn’t want to make that pony feel back. But a mean, snarling-
“Ha. Ha. Ha.”
Yeah. Just like that.
Twilight turns, but it isn’t her yellow pegasus Friend laughing at her. Or even her former Friend, since Twilight doesn’t really know what’s going to happen to their herd after this. Maybe Doug would be able to hold them all together. Or they would each see him individually, since she doubts they can stand to see each other again. Except to point and laugh, that is.
Would Doug even want to be with them? Applejack seems totally changed - she had never known the earth pony to lie before; Rainbow would be off doing Wonderbolts stuff; Rarity would be off in Canterlot with Blueblood and those high society snobs; or maybe that would be the new Pinkie Pie, going to various parties that aren’t really parties; or Fluttershy being all mean and nasty. Or herself for not being a good friend, and failing everypony because of it.
“You know,” a droll voice darkly intones from above her, “it’s not as fun when you ponies get all dull about things.” A hornless Discord drops down, elbowing Twilight’s dull purple coat. “Get it? Dull?” He pokes her in the head. “It even works on multiple levels, because you’d have to be particularly dull to try to go up against me.”
Twilight merely sighs, her head hanging low, the chocolate rain that follows her around washing away her tears.
“Oh, come now. You can’t be sad about this! How does the phrase go?” Discord snaps his claws a few times. “I’m going to give it my all?”
“I thought we did. We gave it our best.” Twilight glumly looks down at the ground.
Discord’s head rocks back and forth slowly as he dryly sings, “And I guess your best wasn’t good enough!”
Twilight shrugs, uncaring. “Why don’t you go to Fluttershy if you just want to share a laugh? It seems like that’s her thing now.”
“I tried. Where do you think I got the laugh from?” Discord snaps his claws, multiples of himself appear around and saying together, “I admit, I originally thought it would have sounded better in stereo-” all but one pop away “-but she thought I was laughing at her instead of with her! Can you believe that?”
Twilight nods, her eyes not leaving the puddle.
Discord sighs, rolling his eyes at Twilight’s lack of appreciation for his theatrics. “Fine. I did have a reason to see you besides trying to cheer you up, after all. What message did Celestia send you?”
Twilight barely looks up to meet Discord’s eyes with the briefest flicker of wrath. “You were there, remember? When you banished her?”
“Oh, right, that.” Discord pauses, holding a paw up to his ear. “Wait just a second.” He rips open a hole in space, sticking his head through and shouting, “You only asked what the rules are! You didn’t ask what the rules will be! It’s not cheating, or my fault, just because you didn’t know!”
Discord’s head, now with both horns attached, returns with either a frustrated growl or a string of profanities following behind him. “Sorry about that, Celestia was calling me a cheater. And a whole bunch of other names she really shouldn’t be using around foals.” He drops down, staring Twilight in the eyes. “But I digress. You really didn’t get a message from Celestia?”
“Just the one you know about.” Twilight blankly looks back at Discord. Then she shrugs.
“Hmm. I didn’t foresee Celestia lying to me. To me! Can you believe that! In all my dealings with her, I’ve been nothing but honest! And this is how she repays me?” Discord scoffs.
“Celestia wouldn’t lie to you,” Twilight says, a little bit of confidence breaking through. “Even to you.”
“You still believe in her?” Discord massages his chin, twisting a claw around his beard. “Fascinating.”
“She didn’t let Equestria down.” Twilight rests a hoof on her coat, adding a little color to the gray. “I did.”
“Yes, yes, you’re such a disappointment.” Discord sighs. “I was going to come in here and help cheer you up. You know, get you into the spirit of things? But I suppose I’m a better Lord of Chaos than I am an entertainer.”
“And here I’d say you are neither.” Twilight and Discord both turn to see an azure unicorn flipping her mane, an ebullient grin smirking at the draconequus. “The Great and Powerful Trixie! knows a pretender when she sees one.” She slyly winks at Twilight before turning to Discord. “You may be the bored of Chaos, but I’d say you’re nothing more than a klutz!”
Discord’s voice echoes darkly. “Irritating your Highlord is bold, but unwise.” Discord frowns at Trixie’s arrogant laugh. “Surely you do not consider yourself my equal!”
Trixie scoffs, saying as darkly as she can, “You cannot hide weakness behind strong words.”
“Hey!” Discord shouts, offended. “That’s my line! You scene stealing hack!”
“Oh yeah? Well, you’re a klutzy draconequus!” Trixie sticks her tongue out at Discord, turning around and swishing her tail and shaking her bare flank. A green and red smoke cloud explodes around her, leaving Discord gawking at nothing.
A furious snort escapes Discord’s nostrils as he bellows, “You have ensured your demise!” He snaps his claws, rocketing into the air and after Trixie.
Twilight watches Discord sail away, torn between being happy that Discord got put in his place, if just for a moment, and the horrible things Discord will do to Trixie in return. She leans more towards the latter, the chocolate mane putting a real damper on things as it dampens her even more thoroughly, until a gurgling burp from behind startles her.
“Twilight!” comes the high pitched voice of her longest friend. Spike groans pitifully as he wrenches himself around a corner, looking every bit as worn out and exhausted as she feels. He drops the dozen scrolls he is carrying in his tiny arms, spilling out onto the ice. “Can’t… move…”
“Spike?” Twilight asks worriedly as Spike belches, a gout of green flame coalescing into a scroll in front of her. “What is going on?”
“It’s… these letters!” Spike winces, holding onto his belly as his entire body shudders. “Ever since Discord came back I’ve been-”
Another letter bursts from his mouth with a jet of flame and smoke. Twilight grabs one with her hoof, barely able to read the first line before the chocolate rain smears the ink to nothing. “Friendship is a great and powerful thing.” She doesn’t need the words in front of her to recall the rest of the letter she wrote to Celestia after Trixie joined the herd. “You should be proud of your talents, even when putting them to use against a Friend in a competition. Because a true Friend always gives their all, no matter what!”
Twilight Sparkle’s horn lights, sizzling against the rain. She merely grits her teeth. The magenta star on her flank glows brightly as power courses through her. She snatches another letter, grinning as her eyes trace over the fading words, eagerly grabbing another, and another.
Lavender surges across Twilight’s coat as she stamps her hoof in victory. The ice shatters under the blow as she exclaims, “I know what I have to do! Come on, Spike!”
Spike groans, belching out another letter as Twilight levitates him to a safe spot inside, not even caring that he is now being subject to the rain. “Any chance you can do… number twenty five again?”
Twilight’s horn flares as she gallops inside the castle, her Best Assistant now encased in a solid barrier of black mustaches.
“Thanks, Twi,” Spike says, angling himself so the incoming scrolls are coughed out to the side. “You always were the best.”
“Thanks, Spike, but I need to focus!” Twilight grins as they enter the main ballroom, the band playing another waltz, and spots Applejack. The mare looks decidedly out of place next to Fancy Pants, Jet Stream and Upper Crust.
“And then,” comes Upper Crust’s arrogant tone, “she said she had to leave for her job! Oh, I can’t imagine what it must be like to be beholden to somepony else’s timetable, can you?”
Applejack’s stuttered laugh is cut short by Twilight roughly yanking her away. "This isn't you, Applejack!"
“No, don’t ya see, Twilight?" Applejack shakes her head. "Ah belong here, not working on some silly farm! Who needs apples, anyway?”
“The Applejack that I know would never put down her family like that! Or her farm, or hard work! This isn’t you!”
With the final word the first white star of Twilight’s cutie mark glows. All the Honesty that Applejack has ever shown Twilight comes forth, zipping across the earth pony’s eyes in a wild blur.
Applejack’s orange hue returns as she cries out, “Twilight! Ah’m so sorry! Ah don’t know what came over me! Ah thought Ah was helping out the family by overcharging these gentlecolts, but Ah was wrong!” She turns to Fancy Pants, “Please-”
“There’s no time!” Twilight interrupts, dragging Applejack away. “We can apologize later! Let’s go!”
The two mares don’t have to gallop far as they almost immediately run into Rarity. She is waiting impatiently, tapping her hoof against the marble floor. “Oh, you two! You wouldn’t believe how frustrating it is to wait for somepony to get you your drinks!”
“Rarity, snap out of it!” Rarity is taken aback by Twilight’s loud yell, almost taking a full step backwards. “The Rarity I know is generous, and kind, and always willing to help, even if it means sacrificing her own comfort!”
The second white star on Twilight’s flank glows.
“Well, not that much comfort, I really do like-”
All the Generosity that Rarity has ever shown Twilight hits her, stunning her into actually taking that step backwards. The white of her coat loses the gray tint, shining brightly.
Rarity cries out, grief stricken, “Oh, dear! I’ve just been using-”
“No time! Go!” Twilight interrupts. She, Applejack, and Rarity race to the other side of the ballroom; behind them, Prince Blueblood returns with two glasses, a confused expression as he looks around.
Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie are having a heated argument.
“No I’m not!”
“Yes, you are!”
“No! I’m not!”
“Yes! You are! Ha. Ha! HA!”
“Hey, Twilight!” Pinkie Pie yells, spinning around as the three skid to a stop. “Make her stop!”
“No! Ha, ha, ha!” Fluttershy turns to Twilight, grinning as Pinkie Pie fumes. “See? She can’t keep playing waltzes! She doesn’t actually like them!”
“Don’t you see? It’s my new, identity!” Pinkie Pie says to the music, each syllable on a different beat.
“Enough!” Twilight shouts, loud enough for the music to come to a stop. The third and fourth stars on her cutie mark gleam. “Fluttershy! You are a kind, loving mare who would never want to see her friend hurt!” She turns to Pinkie Pie as Fluttershy reels in the Kindness. “And Pinkie Pie! There isn’t a method of enjoying oneself that you don’t enjoy! And you love spreading that laughter, no matter the medium, even if it isn’t your favorite!”
“That’s right!” both mares exclaim, Fluttershy turning yellow as Pinkie Pie turns pink.
As the five mares swiftly exit the ballroom the band breaks out into the Hokey Pokey; Pinkie Pie returns, just to glare at them, then zips back to join her Friends. They find Rainbow Dash outside, soaring with Soarin in the sky while Spitfire looks on from below, her permanently bored expression etched on her face.
“Rainbow!” Twilight calls loudly. “Rainbow Dash!”
“Ugh!” comes the groan, audible even from so far away. Yet, the rainbow maned pegasus flies down anyway, more than a little annoyed. “What?!”
Twilight pleads, “We need you to help stop Discord! We can’t do it without you!”
“Sorry, can’t. Wonderbolts stuff. You know how it is.” Rainbow turns, about to take off, as Spitfire walks up.
“Rainbow Dash, I should have done this long ago.” Spitfire takes a deep breath, steeling herself. “I should have realized how far you were willing to go to achieve your dreams. And we need ponies like that, both in our everyday lives, and in the Wonderbolts. So, as Captain of the Wonderbolts, I order you to put being an Element of Harmony first, a member of your herd second, and a Wonderbolt third.”
“Does this mean…” Rainbow Dash excitedly exclaims, eyes brimming with tears, almost refusing to acknowledge the reality. “Does this mean that I’m a Wonderbolt?”
“Well, we’ll still make you apply, and go through being a recruit and all, but I’d say you’re already wearing the colors.” Spitfire grins, even if the hoof she taps Rainbow with is a darker shade of blue than the cerulean of the mare.
Rainbow Dash looks at the hoof, then up at Spitfire, still refusing to acknowledge it. “So, if I happen to get pregnant, then…”
Spitfire shrugs. “Temporarily medically disqualified. Happens to anypony.”
A grin crosses Rainbow’s face. “And when I’m recovering? And training back up?”
Spitfire matches it with a slight smirk. “We’ll make you be a reservist.”
“This is so awesome!” Rainbow’s voice raises to unheard heights as she pushes the sides of her cheeks together, her mouth opening in an adorable smile.
"That's right, Rainbow Dash!" Twilight grins. "Your loyalty is admirable, especially when it's directed at the right things!" The six embrace, cheering loudly.
“Yeah, well, it’s only good if you actually stop Discord! So hop to it, cadet!” Spitfire’s tail snaps like a whip, the six mares charging away. As they disappear around a corner Spitfire’s smile fades. She mutters to herself, “Celestia help me, I hope they win.”
The six mares return to the entry hallway at just around the same time Discord does. Celestia is still laying on her side with Lemon, and Lunaris peeks in from around the corner. Nopony else is visible, except for an azure unicorn trapped in a dull brown bubble.
“So much for Great and Powerful! I’ve-” Discord stops as he spots the six. “Oh. It’s you. Still, failing, I see?” He shakes the bubble Trixie is in, leaving her sputtering.
“Trixie… stalled him as long as she could,” Trixie coughs out before slumping over.
Twilight shouts, “Discord, we’re here to stop you!”
Discord conjures up a pair of sunglasses, putting them on only to pull them down and stare at Twilight. “For reals this time?”
“For reals!” Twilight Sparkle glances at her Friends. “Are you ready?”
“Ready!” they call in unison. Each takes up their battle position, even Fluttershy.
“But you’re missing your Elements!” Discord sneers, readying his claws to snap. “Surely you need to go lose them again?”
“Here!” shouts Lunaris as he chucks his long bag. It sails through the air, then disappears in a golden blink, leaving five necklaces and a crown soaring towards each of the mares. The amulets clasp around their necks, Twilight donning her crown, as they each stand resolute.
“Huh.” Discord casts aside the glasses. “You know, they’d probably want to see this.” He snaps his claws; Celestia, Luna, Lemon, and Meringue all appear at his side. They look up from their board game as the six mares rise into the air.
“There we go.” Discord motions to himself. “Fire when ready!”
Flashes of light stream in every direction as each of the Elements of Harmony gather their power. “Alright, ladies!” Twilight calls confidently. “Let’s show him what Friendship can do!”
Discord yawns.
Beams of power radiate from each of the six and their amulets, spiraling together into a rainbow of color. It arcs into the air, like a rainbow, slamming down on the draconequus. His cry of anguish is cut short as stone covers his body, leaving a solid statue.