//------------------------------// // Two-Point-Five Essential Vitamins and/or Minerals // Story: Past Conditional: More Speedfics and Drabbles by Present Perfect // by PresentPerfect //------------------------------// Two-Point-Five Essential Vitamins and/or Minerals by Present Perfect Pizzelle's heart hammered in her chest. She had thought the abandoned factory would be a perfect hiding place, but the faint stomping of metallic hooves was growing ever closer. She held her little brother tightly to her chest; he fidgeted, trying desperately to hold back his sobs. "I want mommy," he whined. She shushed him. "Be strong, Pancake," she whispered. "Just a little longer. He can't find us here." The lie stung her lips like acid as it left them. He was going to find them, and when he did, they were finished. She wasn't particularly strong, even for an earth pony. She certainly wasn't brave. Would a brave pony be cowering in the dark, hoping a pile of fallen machinery would provide enough cover that the madpony chasing them down would get frustrated and give up? With each thunk of the thing outside drawing ever nearer, the last vestiges of hope died in her heart. She had just gotten her cutie mark for baking her grandma's special cookies all by herself. Her brother didn't even have his yet. She was just barely old enough to understand the concept of death. They were too young to die! The two little ponies whimpered in the darkness, huddled together, awaiting their dire fate. It was an eternity of waiting before Pancake spoke up. "Pitsie, listen!" She shushed him again, out of reflex. Then she listened. There was no sound. "Is he gone?" asked Pancake. The hope in his voice rekindled that nearly extinguished flame in her chest. "I think he might be..." She dared to smile at her brother. He'd left! They were saved! They'd gotten lucky and-- "Surprise!" The foals screamed as the ceiling caved in overhead, showering them with debris. Pizzelle shielded her brother with her body: a pitiful defense, but all she could offer against their adversary. Said adversary lowered into what moments ago been meager shelter on rockets that slowed its descent. The giant metal pony, as big as the factory shell itself, landed with an earth-shaking thud that rattled their teeth in their skulls. The top of the pony's skull opened in two halves, and an earth pony with dark goggles and a long, black moustache popped his head out. "Muwa-hah-haaaah!" he laughed, stroking his moustache. "My robo-spies were right when they said they saw two little ponies come here! And now I, Doctor Robonoid, am triumphant!" The way he spoke his name suggested just what level of importance he gave himself. "Two more ponies to be droidified into my robot army!" Pancake wailed, unheard over the thunder and lightning that crashed outside as the mad doctor laughed. Tears streamed down Pizzelle's face. They had been so close! Now they would suffer the same fate as their parents, and there was nopony to save them. "Well," said Doctor Robonoid, leering down at them from his pilot's seat, "do you have any last words before my army closes in for the capture?" Pizzelle's throat was dry. There was nothing she could do to save herself. So she did the only thing she could think to do. "Help!" she shouted at the top of her lungs. "Somepony help! Save us!" Pancake took up the cry. "Save us, anypony! Help!" "Nyeh-heh-heh," chortled Doctor Robonoid, climbing back into his chair. "Robo-Droids! Move--" There was a loud crunch and a terrifying screech. Doctor Robonoid flew out of his cockpit and skidded across the ground as a large purple rocket of some kind impacted the side of his Super Robotic Carrier Drone. He came to a tumbling stop on his back, his eyes rolling in their sockets. "Who dares?" he asked, voice slurring. Pizzelle and Pancake stared, hardly believing their eyes. Standing atop the fallen form of the giant robot pony was a purple unicorn mare. Her horn was broken, and she was dressed like a clown, including white face paint, poofy rainbow wig, giant red shoes and a red ball on the end of her nose. Well, "standing" wasn't exactly the right word. She was, in fact, jumping up and down on top of the robot. With every landing crunch, it compacted more and more into a flattened heap of useless scrap parts. "I have no idea what's going on," Pizzelle whispered. "Also, I'm scared of clowns." "Kick his butt, clown lady!" shouted Pancake. "Ugh," groaned Doctor Robonoid, righting himself and holding a hoof to his head. "Robot Army, stop that catastrophic clown this instant!" A horde of droidified ponies rushed into the factory from all sides. All they got for their troubles was a purple hoof to the face. The clown mare was everywhere at once, kicking, punching, sometimes even biting. She was very careful not to hit anything vital, aiming for control antennae and the other fully robot parts that kept the droids in sway to the Doctor's will. One by one, the droids fell, some out cold and others regaining some semblance of their former pony selves. That day, a hundred robots wept. When she was done, the lone unicorn stood over Doctor Robonoid, sweat drawing purple lines through her clown makeup. He scooted away from her on his bum, terror writ large across his moustache. "P-please," he said, voice trembling, "have mercy on me. I can un-droidify them, I promise! I-I'll do anything, just don't kill me!" The mare raised an eyebrow. "Anything?" she asked in a voice like cold iron. "Anything!" the Doctor whimpered, giving her a simpering smile. She leaned her head down, until he could taste the blood on her breath. She hadn't even drawn blood in that fight, she just basically always smelled like it. Doctor Robonoid trembled so hard, his goggles came loose and fell from his brow. In a harsh hiss, she said, "Then perish." The Doctor turned to run, but she nabbed him by the nape of his oversized overcoat. He screamed bloody murder, but, dog-like, she whipped her head from side to side, the Doctor tossed about in her jaws like a rag doll. Then he exploded into two bowls of cereal. "There you go, kids," she called as she trotted out of the factory. Around her, formerly droidified ponies slowly regained their senses. "Happy breakfast." Pizelle and Pancake looked at each other. "Dude, I have no idea what just happened." It didn't matter who said it. A chorus of happy voices sang, "We all know the mare to thank!" In front of a glass of milk, half an orange, and another bowl of cereal stood a cereal box with a picture of yet another bowl, cereal and milk being poured into it. The clown mare leapt into box, posing with her hoof outstretched beneath the words printed across the top of the box and a frown that could have curdled that milk. She squeezed her red nose twice. It honked. "Eat it, or I'll bust your flank," she groused. The chorus responded with a bright and cheerful, "Frosted Fizzle Pops! Aggressively delicious!" And the narrator proclaimed it, "Part of this balanced breakfast." The End