“I’M SORRY!”
Forever Free ran across the room, tears streaming down her face, and threw her hooves around Feather Fall’s neck. “I’m so sorry for everything! I didn’t want to get foalnapped or miss a letter or get hurt or leave or hurt you and I’m sorry I didn’t make you happy and I’m sorry that I’m not independentandI’msorryI’mcryingandyellingI’msorryabouteverythingIdon’twantyoutobedepressedorhurtanymoreI’msorryIwasn’twhatyouneededmetobeI’mnotstrongenoughandIhurtyouandpleasedon’tbehurtI’llmakeitalluptoyouIpromise!”
As she cried into his shoulder, Feather Fall smiled and started lightly stroking her mane. He noticed the look in Sun Ray’s eyes, one of deep sympathetical pain. She cared completely for the mare lamenting her every action into his ear. He felt his own eyes water a bit; he expected Forever’s homecoming to be emotional, but was caught off guard by just how much.
After two unbroken minutes of straight apologizing his life-long friend slowed to a mumble interspaced with sniffles. Feather Fall quietly shushed her until she finished. “It’s okay Forever, it’s okay, everything is okay. I am proud of you, of everything you’ve done. I’m proud you had a job, and I’m happy you made such amazing friends.”
She looked into his eyes for a moment and saw the smile he had for her, “You’ve done so much to make me happy, and I could never stop being proud of you. It must have been so hard for you to leave home, to leave everything that’s safe and comfortable. You were gone for two full months.” He felt his voice start to waver slightly, “You’ve made such amazing progress which I know you’ve worked hard for.”
Forever whipped the tears rolling down Feather’s face. “You’re an inspiration to everyone in town, they’ve been talking about all the lives in the city you’ve improved. You made so many friends and brought light to them that they can’t help but worry about you. Just look at them,” He said, motioning to Lyra and Sun, “Just them being here is proof enough that you’ve done more than we ever thought possible. You’ve done everything you set out to do and more, and I haven’t stopped smiling since I saw you off.”
Giggling slightly through her tears, Forever returned to holding tightly onto Feather Fall. Across the room, Sun stared deeply at the two of them. She wasn’t sure how she felt at seeing their embrace. On the one hoof she could tell it was a nice moment between two friends, so why did she feel a pang of dissatisfaction? It couldn’t be jealousy, could it? On the second hoof, she came all this way to find Forever Free and bring her back home. On the third hoof, she felt regretful for the majority of the actions she’d taken up until that point. And on the fourth hoof she’d never been so moved by a show of affection before.
She wasn’t sure when, but Sun had also started crying; she almost couldn’t tell, but the slight sting in her eyes and the cool air on her cheeks was tell enough. She couldn’t help it, after all, this level of platonic love was non-existent in the city she grew up.
Everypony Sun had ever known was fake: an imitation smile barely covering up a self-serving nature. No one was genuinely happy to see you, they just liked having you around them. Be it for power, a plan of some kind, or just so they don’t look like they’re as alone on the outside as they are empty on the inside. It was a major contributing factor for wanting to rebuild society in the first place.
Maybe it was just because she was used to pompous stuffed shirts and fancy dresses playing civil with each other to avoid becoming the topic of the latest gossip. After all, small towns would statistically have less of that. And maybe that’s why when Sun first met Forever, with her big genuine smile and positive energy…maybe that’s why Sun was so obsessed with destroying the earth pony…
Sun shook the spiralling negativity out of her mind, it just wouldn’t do to work herself up just then. No, she needed to turn to Lyra and tell her to give Sun a moment alone with Forever; Just a moment to get what’s been on her mind out in the open. Yes, just a moment, no more, no less.
Turning over to the mint unicorn, Sun was a little surprised to see Soothing Care already moving the two of them out of the room. “I…” Sun stammered, having nothing she actually wanted to say anymore. Care smiled and winked at her before the two of them were gone and the room’s door was closed. The sound of the door closing alerted Feather and Forever that two of the ponies in the room had left, leaving Sun standing there.
The first thing Sun noticed was that while Forever was no longer crying, she was still holding onto Feather for comfort; He was still gently stroking her mane. Forever noticed the tears stains under the unicorn’s eyes and worry enveloped her features. “Are you okay?”
Sun panicked at first, a lot of my mind was telling her to hide her tears, suppress her emotions, and avoid the situation entirely; but she knew better. Instead of taking a step back, she took a step forward. She looked directly into Forever’s eyes and felt like the worst pony in the world. “Forever, I want to apologize to you, I’ve been a horrible friend to you, and you deserve better.”
Without a moment’s pause, Forever Free smiled, “It’s okay, Sun, you don’t have to be sorry.”
“It’s not okay though.” She urged, just shy of shouting, “I won’t let you dismiss it because it’ll be easier on me, I need…I need to say this.”
Forever looked unsure, but after a nod from Feather Fall and seeing the heat behind Sun’s eyes, she leaned forward to listen.
“I’ve been an awful pony and an even worse friend; every day I saw you was another day I should have noticed, but I never did.” Sun moved her hooves around as she searched for the perfect words, “I just stuck my nose in my work and took your kindness for granted. I outright hated you at first: you looked like me, had my mane, my coat, my eyes, but you looked happier, friendlier, you were me but better in every way.”
Forever was about to object, but Feather shook his head and motioned for her to stay still and listen.
“I used to think I didn’t need friends, that I was a genius and I was going to fix the problems of the filth of high society. But then I met you and your shining positivity; you and your unrelenting desire to get to know me better. Not once did I try and question it, to look just beneath the surface and learn a thing about you. I was selfish and ignored who you really were because it was nice to have you just be around and brighten up my day. It made me no better than those ponies I’ve despised all my life!
“I should have noticed, noticed that just behind that facsimile of a smile was a scared little filly that was just trying to make everyone around her happy. I call myself a genius, but it’s obvious to me now that I don’t know a single thing about you, I mean, after all, no pony is just an endless beacon of light. Even Prime Minister Solaria has some darkness in her, so why didn’t I assume you did too?”
Sun Ray began to pace on the spot, almost ignoring that she was even talking to anyone anymore.
“You spent weeks after meeting me trying to be my best friend, at the time I didn’t realize it, but it’s so obvious in retrospect. And how did I repay that dedication? Well I took the only course of action that made any sense – I assumed you were sent into my apartment building to replace me so I tried to kill you half a dozen times! Of course! Such brilliance! You’re really making your old professors proud Sun Ray! You find another blue-maned yellow pony that isn’t even the same tribe as you and she immediately wants to replace you!
“And then I had the nerve to assume you were allied with Hard Edge, like you were some cybernetic clone of me or something. No, without question that’s the only possible outcome!”
Sun felt tears well up in her eyes again, “I can’t believe you were so nice to me and I wasted weeks pushing you away, like you were any other pony. I…I tried so hard to do away with you, to hurt you like the super villain I thought I was. In my mind I had you over a vat of acid and was just lowering you while I boasted about how the city was going to be mine…”
Her legs started shaking slightly, “I’ve hurt so many ponies, innocent hard working ponies. They were just cogs being controlled by politicians, acceptable losses on the road to make everything right. I was so wrong though, nothing I used to do or think was okay, nothing about it was good or just. And if I stayed wanted by the Hero Bureau for the rest of my life it wouldn’t be long enough.”
Stealing her resolve, Sun looked straight into Forever’s eyes, “But you never saw me that way, all you wanted was a friend, and even though you could have chosen any pony in the world, you came to me, and, and I’ll never stop being grateful because of that. Because of you I’ve been trying to move on with my life, to not just be another generic pony trying to take over the city. I want to be someone that ponies like being around, someone that doesn’t spend four straight days writing formulas in her sunless workshop.”
Forever suppressed the urge to giggle at the irony.
“With you in my life I’ve had somebody I’ve actually wanted to improve myself for, a friend that I can be excited about seeing the next day. A pony that has no connection to my past and doesn’t care about it, who just wants to be with me because of who I am, not what. And a pony that inspires me to get in touch with myself.
“I’ve…been thinking about who I am recently, and who I want to be…and the pony I want to be isn’t a super villain, she doesn’t see the faults in life and likes to spend time in the park instead of working all the time. I want to limit how much time I spend every day just building different gizmos. There’s so much of the world I know little about, and maybe I’ll get to see more of the glass half full.”
Sun felt her face flush slightly, “And I want…want to get a better sense of my emotions. I’m analytical by nature, but you aren’t, you go with the flow and question little, just wanting things to work out. I admire that about you, among other things, and I’d like to…” Sun took a moment to breathe deeply, “I’d like to learn how to be emotional from you. To…be with you.”
A deep gasp sounded from earth pony by the window. Forever bolted to her hooves, looking more excited than Sun could ever remember seeing her, which was quite the accomplishment. Sun couldn’t help but smile at the energy. “Do…do you-you...are-are you in...DO YOU LOVE ME?!” Forever blurted at the top of her lungs.
Feather Fall laughed as he turned his ears downward. Sun couldn’t help but joining in the laughter, “I don’t really know, I don’t think it’s love, at least not yet. I’m still sort of figuring it out myself...” the unicorn explained, “But that’s one of the things I want to learn with you.”
Before Forever could yell any further, Feather covered her mouth with one of his hooves “And you’re sure about this?” he asked Sun, concern showing on his face, “You don’t think you’re rushing a bit?”
Sun narrowed her eyes in thought, “If I’m being honest, I don’t fully know. In none of my past relationships have I ever…felt this much before. I had a coltfriend for a few months and I only really did that because I was lonely at the time. For most of my life I thought I was just incapable of experiencing strong feelings of affection for anything. It’s...all sort of new to me.”
Tossing her words back and forth in his mind a bit, Feather smiled reassuringly. “Well for what it’s worth, you have my blessing, clearly Forever has had a deep impact on your life.” He removed his hoof from her mouth, setting her free, “Not that you really needed it, but you know.”
“AAAAAAAAAAA!” Forever jumped at Sun Ray, wrapping her legs around the unicorn’s neck. The two collapsed into a heap on the floor. “I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M GOING TO HAVE MY VERY FIRST MAREFRIEND!”
Sun Ray was a bit conflicted about what had happened. The nervousness that was eating at her went away, but it was swiftly replaced by a crushing feeling. While she was happy to have it, pony contact wasn’t something she was specifically familiar with, it’d take at least some getting used to. But hey, good news, she didn’t get turned down.
She hugged back, which felt kind of awkward to do, but the overwhelming feeling she was getting from her emotions was nice. Was having another pony lay on top of you supposed to hurt your leg from the weight? Surely it was supposed to be more pleasant, right? But Sun shook the thought out of her head, displeased with herself for analyzing a hug. She was about to get up before she realized something. “Your…first?”
Collecting herself long enough to answer, Forever nodded, “Uh huh, I’ve never dated anyone before. I used to be so shy growing up, and even when I asked anyone out, they always turned me down. I think everyone in town pities me.” Sun looked up at Feather who gave a bit of a sad nod. “But that doesn’t have to matter anymore! I have you now!”
Forever hugged harder before she stopped and stood back up on her hooves. Worry enveloped her expression as she turned to look at Feather Fall, “Are…are you okay?”
He motioned with his hoof for Forever to embrace him, she obliged without a second thought. “How many times do I have to tell you,” Feather Fall whispered into her ear, “Nothing you could do would ever hurt me. Wherever your happiness takes you, I’ll support you one-hundred percent of the way.”
Forever squeezed harder for a moment, trying not to cry even more, but a moment later she pulled away, a deeply emotional smile spread across her face. “Thank you,” she whispered.
Sun Ray felt the warmth radiate from the two of them, and was thankful she didn’t feel jealousy this time. Forever turned to her, the brightest aura coming off of her. “So…” She asked, taking a step over to Sun, unusually bashful, “How do relationships work?”
“I’m afraid my experience is kind of meaningless in this regard.”
“Is nuzzling you okay?”
Sun laughed, “If I told you no, would that stop you?” Feather chuckled as well, but Forever looked a bit nervous, no doubt her mind was racing at the new context of how they should talk to each other. Sun was unsure if she should be the one to initiate a nuzzle, after all, she wasn’t normally physically affectionate - that was sort of the point.
She could say all she wanted that this or that was okay, but she had a feeling Forever didn’t learn from directly being told what was right and wrong. It made sense that she was probably the type that did things and learned right from wrong by the way others reacted. Not the best way to learn, sort of a trial by fire situation.
But clearly that wouldn’t apply as much the older she got, where situations she was completely unfamiliar with were few and far between, so something like a romantic relationship would make her nervous and afraid to try doing anything. Sun needed to make the first move in her stead, but what would be okay? If it were just a stress-relief fling, they’d make out, go crazy, and then it’d be over and she could get back to her work. But that lacked any emotion, it was purely physical.
Shaking her head, Sun realized she was about to start the process of bullet pointing different theories and courses of action for how to be romantic. She smiled and went over to nuzzle Forever, taking the earth ponies own suggestion. Sun reflected that when she was the one initiating contact, it was significantly nicer. Forever leaned into the contact, and Sun counted it as a success.
A bright flash of light came from the front of the room, drawing everyponies attention. Standing there with a digital camera was Lyra and nurse Soothing Care.
“Aww,” Lyra declared, “You’re both adorable!”
“Hey!” Sun yelled, lighting her horn and trying to grab the floating camera in her magic, Lyra was too quick though and ran out of the room.
“No way, Hard Edge is totally gonna hear about this!”
Sun’s face blushed a bright red, “Give me that camera!” She chased after Lyra, sounding flustered but the smile betrayed any anger. Forever couldn’t stop giggling and chased after the both of them.
As the hooves running got too far away to hear, Care walked over to the bed and sat down. She shared a good natured smile before looking at Feather.
“‘Dear Feather Fall,” the nurse began, getting a hearty chuckle out of the pegasus by the window. “Today I took a step toward my future; I started dating this mad scientist mare that looks like me. She was pissy at first, but she’s good company. I’m friends with half the city, and I’m glad you pushed me to move out on my own.”
She noticed a tear run down Feather’s cheek, his smile never brighter, “I’m glad too.”