I believe that, over the last few little yarns that I’ve spun for you, I’ve made my disdain for one Starlight Glimmer abundantly clear. Am I against the idea of reformation? No. Do I think Starlight can’t change and become a benefit to Equestria? No, of course not. What I do think though, is that when a pony commits the most violent assault possible against a pony, with the exception of having their magic drained, and then forces them to live under her rules and philosophies, that pony ought to be punished for her actions. Yes, Starlight may have turned over a new leaf, but even in Equestria, you don’t just get to wipe the slate clean. The goal of any punishment may be reformation, with prisoners only being imprisoned if this is impossible, with good conditions too, but there must still be a punishment. Starlight not only committed unspeakable acts of mental and physical cruelty against vulnerable ponies who trusted her, but then also went on a rampage using dangerous, forbidden magic that caused irreparable damage to the space time continuum. You don’t just get to walk away from that.
Initially, after Starlight surrendered to Twilight and became her student, a good many ponies shared my view. After all, this mare had proved herself to be quite dangerous, and quite possibly psychotic at times. A good many were unhappy about Twilight taking her under her wing. However, as I’ve mentioned before, I’m an advisor; I can make recommendations, but once the princesses have made their decision, the discussion is over.
So, despite my objections, Starlight had been pardoned for her crimes. At the time, I’d spoken to Starlight in my office and made my opinion of her quite clear. In particular, I’d warned her that, while she might have been pardoned for these crimes, I had no doubt that Twilight would not be so forgiving if her trust was betrayed. I assured Starlight that if she stepped out of line, I would come down on her like a tonne of bricks.
At the time, that had been all I’d been able to do. With some coaxing from Discord, I realised that it was pointless to continuously hound her, and I adopted a policy of wait and watch. I met her again when Pinkie Pie threw her a Welcome to Ponyville party. I’d been a little kinder then. As I said to Celestia at the time, I hoped I was wrong, but I didn’t fancy being caught napping by somepony who had the potential to be extremely dangerous. After all, one on one, this mare had been Twilight’s equal.
After the dust settled however, it became clear that Starlight’s integration into Ponyville was not going to be easy. It wasn’t exactly a national secret what she had done, and between her somewhat poor social skills and her alarming habit of using magic to solve every problem, she became something of a pariah. Well, as much as you can be in Ponyville. Most folks just kept out of her way, with Starlight mainly confining herself to the castle. It wasn’t until she met and befriended Trixie that things began to improve.
I’ll admit, at that point, I was close to admitting that Starlight had finally turned a corner. She was becoming more social, and ponies were slowly beginning to accept her. It didn’t hurt that she and Trixie had been able to bond over their none too glorious pasts. However, after that step forward, her progress stalled somewhat. She didn’t make any other friends besides Twilight, Spike, and Trixie, and while no longer a pariah, she was hardly learning about the magic of friendship as she was supposed to.
So, as I understand it, Twilight pushed her to make some new friends. It could hardly go worse than her first. I remember Bones telling me how she used her magic to make Big Mac talk non-stop when she found out how reticent her was.
Now, that’s a perfect example. Any unicorn would say that using your magic to make somepony talk against their will is wrong. Not just because of the law, but because of morals and common sense. Starlight didn’t have those morals, and that was what always made me uneasy around her.
However, I figured that, given time, Twilight would set her straight, and my warnings of possible imprisonment or confinement in a mental institution would be enough to get her to toe the line. After all, like I said, since coming to Ponyville, she’d shown no signs of betraying Twilight’s trust and seemed genuinely committed to learning about friendship.
Unfortunately, it was at this point, that Starlight had you might want to call a major relapse.
It all started when Twilight confronted her pupil about her progress in her studies. While her magical ability and knowledge was extremely impressive, and while she’d begun to make some friends, namely Trixie, she hadn’t really made much significant progress since. To try and help, Twilight had set her up with her own friends, suggesting that spending time with them might help her get back on track. Unfortunately, Starlight had been putting these engagements off for some time, in favour of continued study of magic.
Twilight was now getting a tad impatient with her pupil, and as she was now going off to Canterlot for the day to meet with Celestia, she wanted to be sure that Starlight wouldn’t keep procrastinating. I sometimes wonder if, had it not been for the time pressure, the whole mess could have been avoided. But who knows? All I can tell you is what happened next, and the consequences that followed.
So, settle in, because this one, as Pinkie would say, is a doozy. It ended with five ponies requiring some minor medical care, Twilight’s castle had been both flooded and sustained some serious fire damage in the kitchen, and best of all, despite everything, it wasn’t until Twilight sat her down and explained, that Starlight understood that what she had done was not only not right, but as I would point out to her, not bloody legal.
I wasn’t actually in Ponyville when the whole calamity began. It was a weekday, so I was in my office as per usual. I’d just come back from helping Celestia with a rather tricky patent dispute. A company in Equestria’s Neighpon region was accused of copying a wagon design from a company based out of Whinnyapolis. And just like their real world counterpart, the words ‘copyright infringement’ seemed to sail clean over their heads. I’d ended up having to overturn the ruling of the local court and put a hearing on the books for next week. Neighpon had been becoming more and more of a problem for Celestia over the last couple decades as the region industrialised, and she was fast running out of patience.
It sure as hell didn’t help that the locals seemed to have somehow grown up in a world without common decency. I may be a literal alien in this world, but even on my first day here, I knew that you didn’t spit whatever was in your mouth onto the throne room floor while talking with the princess. Not these chinless wonders though. No manners, no understanding of queues, and a terrifying ability to cause incredible disruption wherever they went.
Heck, I still remember that case from Saddle Arabia when that stupid Neighpon student decided it would be a brilliant idea to carve his likeness onto an ancient stone monument. They almost took both his front hooves off until Celestia managed to get them to calm down.
Anyway, I’m digressing again. I was just writing up the preliminary report to Celestia, and Luna as well. She’s recently asked that I prepare a sort of nightly briefing for her. Usually, I’m not in the office after sundown, but I have on occasion laboured into the wee hours to advise on a case in her own Night Court. Of late though, she’s asked to be kept in the loop on all matters in Day Court, so every day, I prepare her a quick little briefing summary of the day’s cases.
I’d seen Twilight knocking about earlier, with little Spike riding on her back. She was taking the rare opportunity to spend some time with Celestia after giving her presentation at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. She may no longer be her student, but the two are very close friends. Twilight idolises Celestia, not as a princess, more as her mentor and even a mother figure. However, she also enjoys just spending time with Celestia the pony, reading books, talking of old times and practicing magic. It’s a rare opportunity for the pair to be together, without Equestria being in peril.
And so, I wasn’t about to intrude on their privacy. Twilight however, was more than happy to intrude on mine.
Knocking on my office door, the young alicorn opened it and poked her head through. If it were anypony else, with the exception of Tia or Luna of course, I’d be pretty cheesed off. But Twilight was here as a friend, and I suppose, as she’s a princess, this is partly her castle. Looking up from my work, I smiled at her across my desk.
“Twilight!” I said brightly. “Come in, come in. What brings you here?”
She trotted inside and quite quickly fixated herself on my personal law library. Twilight, I sometimes think, is the literal definition of a bibliophile. For one thing, according to Shining Armor, as a filly she used to sniff books for the fun of it. Luckily, over her years of studying friendship, she’s learnt to overcome her innate nature to gravitate to books rather than ponies. Shaking the cobwebs loose, and blushing slightly, she turned back to me and trotted over to my desk. As it was built for a human, and she didn’t seem interested in taking a chair, she jumped up slightly, putting her front hooves on the edge of the desk, like a dog would.
“I was just wondering if I could borrow a couple of your books,” she said with a hopeful smile.
To be fair, in addition to the various Equestrian legal books, all of which she could find in the Canterlot library, there were also a few books from my own collection back on Earth, old legal texts from my days studying law, as well as when I went back to get my doctorate. Those are books that she hasn’t read, and for Twilight, that means she has to read them.
And possibly sniff them.
Although, now that I think about it, there is something quite pleasant about the smell of old books.
Getting up from my desk, I strolled over to my miniature library, intending to grab a couple for her off the higher shelves if needed. Of course, I forgot about the whole magic thing.
“Sure,” I said, without thinking.
At that moment, several of my books seemingly came to life and all but flew off the shelves and into Twilight’s saddlebags. Bingham’s ‘The Rule of Law’, Paine’s ‘The Age of Reason’, Machiavelli’s ‘The Prince’, Marcus Aurelius’ ‘Meditations’ and Rousseau’s ‘The Social Contract’ all flew past my head. Luckily for me, Twilight, despite her eagerness, still had her new charges negotiate their way around me. Once she again, she blushed adorkably at her foal like excitement as she recovered herself.
“Whoops. Sorry, Roger,” she said, her ears wilting slightly.
“No worries, Twilight,” I said, only partly lying. “What do you want them for anyway. That lot isn’t exactly Equestria friendly material.”
Equestria by no means has a ban on new ideas, but given their nature, I doubt many ponies would be interested in the works of Machiavelli, with perhaps the exception of a few notable villains who he might actually get along with. Conversely, I let Celestia borrow it a while back, and she merely stated that she found it ‘fascinating’ in that mysterious way of hers. Still, I was little worried about Twilight reading some of those. For goodness sake, when she read Schrodinger, who she claimed ripped off a pony counterpart, she spent about a week experimenting with boxes and cats. Luckily, this time she seemed more easygoing.
“Oh, I just wanted to write a little report on the differences between pony and human societies and how they deal with criminals. I thought it might be something interesting for me and Starlight to work on together when I get back.” I frowned a little.
“Hmm,” I said gruffly. “Maybe you can teach her that taking ponies’ cutie marks is wrong,” I replied. Twilight frowned.
“She knows,” she replied simply. Realising that I was being a little childish, I relented and let out a breath.
“Twilight, can I ask you something?” I asked.
“Sure,” the alicorn replied, sitting down on her rear next to me.
“Why did you just let her get away with it?” I asked. “I get the reformation, and everything else. But I don’t understand why you just let her get away with attacking you, messing up the timelines and doing what she did to all those innocent ponies.”
I’d wanted to ask Twilight this for ages. I guess that, until now, the opportunity hadn’t presented itself. I was never truly cross with her about it. I was confused more than anything. Really, like most people, I just wanted to know why. Seeing that Twilight looked a little uneasy, I went on.
“C’mon, Twilight,” I said reassuringly. “I’m an academic. Present your argument, and I’ll gladly listen.” Now she went off at scratch.
“What would punishing Starlight achieve?” she asked, putting a question to my question. I thought for a moment.
“Well, it would give some satisfaction to the ponies she’d hurt.”
“How?”
“They get to see her suffer the consequences of her actions.”
“And how does that help them overcome what happened to them? Does it undo what Starlight did?”
“It ensures she doesn’t do it again.”
“Really?”
“If nothing else, punishment makes the offender fear it, and thereby avoid the undesired behaviour.”
“You’re implying that Starlight was rational when she did what she did. Yet I remember you arguing to have her put in a mental hospital.”
Damn, Twilight was good at this. Here I was, an advocate for bringing back hanging in Britain, and I was struggling to defend the concept of retributive or restorative justice.
“Punishment for negative behaviour works on lower animals. It works on sentient creatures, whether they’re rational or not.”
“And so after all that,” Twilight replied. “We end up with Starlight, as much a pariah as when she first arrived in Ponyville, just as reformed as she is now. What is the difference?”
“The bloody difference is that she got away with it!” I snapped, now running out of patience. “Nightmare Moon was destroyed, Discord turned to stone, Chrysalis flung into the badlands, Sombra blasted into atoms, and Tirek sent back into Tartarus. They all got what was coming to them.”
“And have any of those ponies been successfully reformed?” Twilight asked with a knowing smile. Damn it.
Relenting a little, Twilight continued.
“Roger, let me tell you what I think. You want Starlight to be punished because you want revenge. It’s a normal reaction, considering all that she did. But revenge doesn’t accomplish anything. It has no point. Starlight knows what she did is wrong, and she’ll carry that with her for the rest of her life. Isn’t that punishment enough?”
You know, I honestly hadn’t considered that. From the mouth of babes, I suppose. Starlight would indeed live with that guilt. She could never undo what she had done. No matter what else she might do, her actions would forever haunt her.
Just as my past actions continue to haunt me. It’s been over twenty years, and I’ll never forget what I did in Northern Ireland; things that would make my son ashamed to call me his father. I’ve gone on and led a successful career, and risen to a lofty situation. But I can never truly escape the mistakes of my past, only do my best to make up for them.
Twilight and I chatted for a little while longer before she had to leave. She’d given me a lot to think about. I was genuinely coming around to her point of view. And in all honesty, I probably would have, had Starlight not created the biggest non-world ending threat since that Want it, Need it spell Twilight did so many moons ago.
Needless to say, that kind of put a dent into any sort of revelation I might have had.
A few days later found me, once again in my office. Two royal guards were standing at their ready position on either side of the doorway, and the door itself had been bolted behind me when I walked in. It had been the same situation the last time Starlight came to my office. The young mare was sat in the seat across from and squirmed uncomfortably, doing her utmost to avoid meeting my gaze. She knew she was in deep trouble.
Let me explain for you what happened. After Twilight left, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy all gathered in the castle to spend some time with Starlight. The unbalanced unicorn planned to do all the activities at the same time; Applejack was going to help her with a scrapbook, she was going to do some baking with Pinkie, sewing with Rarity, tending to some animals with Fluttershy, and something called ‘chillaxing’ with Rainbow Dash.
Now, a normal, rational pony, or even Discord would have considered perhaps that these were too many commitments to take on at once and still spend quality time with Twilight’s friends. Not Starlight though, as ever she decided she’d use her magic to fix this problem. And remember, she was sitting in Twilight’s castle, with access to all sorts of important magical texts. A quick canter through Twilight’s personal collection, and she’d found a couple of spells that, properly combined, would help her get things done.
What this nutter created however, was nothing short of a hypnosis spell. After a blast of magic, it left all five ponies in the room hypnotised and deeply suggestible. Again, any normal pony, would at this point back peddle and try to do undo what they’d done. Not Starlight though, she just kept on trucking.
Trying to actually complete all the activities, she found that each of the girls took her commands quite literally. They had absolutely no free will of their own, or even useful consciousness. From what I heard from each of them, they didn’t remember anything from the moment Starlight hit them with her spell, until Twilight reversed it a couple hours later.
Anyway, things quickly got out of hand as Starlight tried to dash from one activity to the next. It ended up with Pinkie accidentally setting the kitchen on fire, and when Starlight asked Rainbow to ‘get some water’, the pegasus brought a rain cloud into the castle and pretty well flooded the place out. Thank goodness the walls and floors are all crystal is all I can say about that, otherwise it would have cost a pretty penny to clear up, magic or no, for Twilight.
Luckily for all concerned, at that moment, Twilight returned, and along with Spike, was utterly horrified at what her student had done in her brief absence. She spent the next few hours undoing all the damage Starlight had caused, including reversing the hodgepodge spell that she used on her friends.
The experience left all five mares experiencing symptoms similar to a bad hangover, which persisted for a good day or so before they were fully back to normal, and even Celestia isn’t sure if it’s possible to fully remove the implanted suggestions from their minds. The only upside to the whole incident was that nopony was seriously injured or worse.
As I said, at the time, I was up in Canterlot, and I didn’t hear what had happened until I ran into Bones on the way back from the train station. He told me how he’d spent some time talking with Starlight, and had managed to make her see the error of her ways. Believe it or not, at that point, she was still insisting that what she had done wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t until Bones pointed out just how serious mind control spells are that it hit home.
Speaking of things hitting, I hit the roof at the news. All afternoon, I’d believed what Twilight had said. Now though, by Celestia, I was going to put that unicorn in a very small box for a very long time. While not as bad as screwing with the space time continuum, or removing cutie marks from ponies, it was pretty up there. Hell, it wasn’t that far off what Chrysalis, flipping Chrysalis, had done to Shining Armor during the incursion several years ago. I didn’t care what Twilight had to say, I was going to make good on my threat. That little sociopath was going down!
Well, that’s what I would have done anyway. I was at my office first thing the next morning to make a start. I going to head in, and before I did anything else, I was going to draw up an indictment against Starlight and have her brought up on charges of assault. But to my surprise, I found Celestia waiting for me. She was just standing patiently in the middle of my office, her mane flowing the an invisible breeze, looking completely calm and serene as ever.
“Good morning, Roger,” she said, before adding. “We need to talk.”
“What about?” I asked, attempting to politely step around her, but she easily blocked me with her larger form.
“You know what,” she replied calmly. I paused to look her in the face.
“I’m having her brought in, Tia,” I said. “I know this is Twilight’s pet project, but I can’t see a pony get away with five counts of assault involving the use of forbidden magic. She has to face the consequences of her actions.”
“And she has,” Celestia replied. “Twilight has dealt with the matter, with the help of your son as I understand.”
“No, don’t try that, Tia,” I said, pointing a finger at her. “Starlight has had her second chance, and she’s done something almost as bad as her previous two crimes. I’m having her arrested and brought to trial. I’ll meet you halfway and aim for a lighter sentence, but this time there has to be a consequence.”
“And if I say no?” Celestia asked, a harder tone now evident in her voice, although her expression remained unchanged. I walked around behind my desk.
“C’mon, Tia,” I said pleadingly. “I don’t want to fight you on this. I respect what you’re trying to do, I understand where you and Twilight are coming from. But there comes a point where you can’t just let it slide. This is that point.”
“So what do you propose to do?” Celestia asked, now standing opposite me on the other side of my desk.
“Like I said,” I replied. “Bring her in, try her, and get a conviction. A modest sentence and then she can be released back to Ponyville.”
“And that accomplished what exactly?”
“Then she doesn’t do it again,” I answered.
“And if it doesn’t work, and she makes another mistake?”
“Then she goes back inside.”
“Again and again? Come now, Roger. You need only look at your own world to know that that is a recipe for disaster. ‘Prison is just a school for criminals’, I believe that’s what you once said.” I threw up my arms in annoyance.
“What do want me to do? Throw open the door of every cell in Equestria. What, it’s okay, you didn’t mean it, back on the street you go?”
“You know that’s not what I mean, my advisor,” she replied, a hint of anger in her voice now. “Nothing can be gained by throwing Starlight Glimmer into a dungeon. She has seen that what she did was wrong. Nopony was hurt, and they have all forgiven her. If nothing else, the matter is a case of no contest as far as prosecution goes.”
“Tia, don’t be stupid...” Now she jumped down my throat.
“Enough!” she princess barked in a sharp tone, her wings flaring out. I instantly felt like a scolded schoolboy. “You will leave Starlight Glimmer alone. Is that clear?” Once again, I was reminded that I was just an advisor, the buck stops with Tia.
“As a bell, princess,” I replied firmly. I hated this. The last thing I wanted first thing today was to exchange cross words with my boss and good friend.
With that, Celestia left, leaving me feeling like a jackass. She was right, you know. My argument didn’t hold much water. Starlight had faced consequences for her actions. I might not see them as sufficiently proportionate, but Celestia did, Twilight did, and everypony else did.
I spent the rest of the morning brooding irritably. My thoughts turned to my past university career. I’d gotten my doctorate in law a couple years before we wound up here. My thesis was on the effects of the justice system on young offenders, or in layman's turns, what happens when a twelve year old boy goes to jail. Needless to say, nine times out of ten, sending them to jail didn’t exactly stop repeat offending.
I stayed in my office, working at my desk, until lunch, to let any residual anger cool off. Celestia had had a point earlier. I had had pretty much a knee jerk reaction to Starlight’s actions. Back home, if you committed a crime, you were caught, arrested, sentenced and punished for it. But now, what was the point? Imprisonment is supposed to encourage the offender not to repeat their actions. Well, that had already been done for Starlight. And it would hardly give any satisfaction to her victims, since all of them had now recovered and had quite readily forgiven her in the manner of ponies. The only thing imprisoning her at this point would do would be foster a sense of resentment against those who put her there. If anything, it would make another serious faux pas even more likely, since Starlight would undoubtedly withdraw again, as she had when she’d gotten into her equality cult.
So, after much soul searching, I once again found myself clear headed and coming around to Celestia’s point of view, just as I had with Twilight. There was no point in throwing Starlight in jail at taxpayers’ expense. However, I did still believe that something needed to be done; something to put a shot across her bows. I know Twilight had given her a proper telling off, and Bones had done his best to show her the dangers of dark magic, but I felt I needed to add my two bits.
First things first though, I needed to apologise to Celestia for being an ass. If memory serves, the list of petitioners was fairly short today. It was getting on for lunch, so she ought to be free to see me.
Getting up from my desk, and locking the office door behind me, I made my way through the sunlit marble hallways to the throne room. On my way, I passed the large doors that held the new one. It was still nowhere near finished yet, but it was coming along nicely. It was high time Luna had a throne of her own. The new throne room was larger, and more open, with a beautiful circular stained glass window behind the two thrones, and a balcony that overlooked the city. I was looking forward to seeing it brought into use. I didn’t know it at the time, but its opening would also be the day Equestria faced one of its toughest tests.
Anyway, coming to the large doors of the old throne room, which was still in use, I passed the two sentries stationed outside and walked along the plush red carpet that led to the dais. The room was empty of petitioners for the moment. Celestia was sitting on her throne, two guards at the foot of it. A scroll and quill floated in her magic as she jotted down some final notes on some document or other. As I walked in, it promptly rolled itself up, and vanished in a teleportation spell.
Walking up to the throne, I offered a brief bow to the princess. I usually didn’t come in this way, but entered by a door off to the right used by Tia and her other advisors.
“I came to apologise,” I said simply. “You were right. There’s no point in throwing a silly girl in prison. I’m not going to activate the writ. And I’ve been a jackass to you.” Celestia beamed at me and stepped down off the throne to stand by me. Leaning down slightly, she embraced me in a friendly hug.
“You are forgiven, my friend,” she said gently, before withdrawing again.
“There was one thing I’d like to suggest though,” I added as she began to walk up the steps of the dais.
“Oh?” she asked, turning back to look over her shoulder.
“A spot of community service,” I said. “Nothing too drastic, just helping Twilight’s friends out with a few odd jobs to make up for the mess she caused.” Celestia chuckled.
“A wise course of action,” she admitted. “A punishment for Starlight’s actions, but still serving a purpose. I approve.”
Using her magic, she brought out a scroll and wrote a short note on it, before sending it away in her magic. The scroll turned into a mist like vapour and vanished out of the window.
“There,” she said. “Spike should receive that any second. I will leave the matter of the ‘community service’ in your hands.”
And so, offering another brief bow, I withdrew, feeling all the better for it.
A couple of days later, and Starlight had finally managed to get caught up on the work Twilight had given her in the first place. She’d spent some time with and gotten to know all of Twilight’s friends a little better. The whole accidental mind control thing was a case of water under the bridge as far as they were concerned.
In all honesty, I was of the same mind. I have no problem with forgiveness, but I don’t forget. I’d gone to visit Twilight not long after I got home from Canterlot. By then she’d received Celestia’s letter and agreed it was a sensible course of action, and would hopefully prevent Starlight from having to put up with any more stares out in public. Officially, the matter didn’t appear on her record. It was a more of a gentlecolt’s agreement as Celestia put it.
Starlight ended up doing various odd jobs for the next two weeks. Be that helping Spike reorganise the library for Twilight, help Applejack on her farm, which also gave her a chance to talk magic with my son, she helped Rarity by modelling a few dresses for her, Fluttershy by looking after her cottage while she and Discord spent some quality time together, Pinkie she helped fulfill a couple major baking orders at Sugarcube Corner, and Rainbow Dash had her watch her latest stunt routine. It was hardly terrible punishment; akin to making that annoying brat that used to live down the street from me clean off the graffiti he’d sprayed on the side of the house.
It certainly seemed to serve its purpose. A slap on the wrist to make sure she didn’t do anything like that again. Well, that was the plan at least.
As it turned out, Starlight would once again crop up on my radar before too long, but this time, it would be for a good reason. I would soon see both Celestia and Twilight vindicated on their views on friendship. In all honesty, I have to admit, that I owe that crazy mare a lot.
After all, if it wasn’t for her, I quite possibly wouldn’t be sitting here writing this, and you may very well not be here to read it either.
Equestria was once again to face a tough test from an old nemesis. And I was about to find myself determined to deal with somepony far more dangerous than a slightly off kilter unicorn.