//------------------------------// // On The Couch // Story: Tales Of Friendship // by Bluecatcinema //------------------------------// Starlight Glimmer was in her office, carrying out her job of guidance counselor. She was just finishing a session with one of the School of Friendship students, a blue coated, dark blue maned Unicorn stallion teen with yellow eyes and a Cutie Mark of a raincloud. "Thanks for the help, guidance counselor Starlight." The student smiled. "I feel so much better now." "It's what I'm here for." Starlight said humbly. "And I'm sure our next session will show even more progess-" Suddenly, the student found himself hovering above the floor. Before he or Starlight could react, he was suddenly flung across the room and out through the open door. As his hooves returned to the floor, the door slammed shut in the bewildered student's face. Starlight only had a moment to look nonplussed before the next unexpected thing happened: Discord appeared, in the exact spot the student had been standing moments before. "Oh good, you're not busy." Discord said nonchalantly. "Must be my lucky day..." "You want to see me about something?" Starlight asked. "That I do." Discord nodded. "Is that so surprising?" "Actually, it is." Starlight said bluntly. "You should know by now that I'm full of surprises." Discord boasted. "How about we move the conversation from 'surprises' to 'specifics'?" Starlight suggested. "Like what exactly you're here for." "I was hoping to take advantage of your vaunted guidance counselor skills." Discord announced. "Really?" Starlight raised an eyebrow. "No offense, but I never really took you for the 'self-improvement' type." "I seem to recall somepony once telling me that if I wanted something, I should ask for it." Discord said airily. "Who was that, again?" "Me." Starlight sighed. "Okay, Discord, let's begin." "Excellent." Discord grinned. Two flashes of light later, and he was lying on the couch. "So... What's on your mind?" Starlight asked. "Now there's an open question." Discord unscrewed the top of his head, revealing a plethora of random objects inside. "A lot of random thoughts can accumulate in a mind over the course of a few thousand years. Especially when a lot of time is spent as a stone statue, with nothing to do but think." He briefly scowled, then recomposed himself. "But I'm not here to talk about the past. No, it's current events that I wish to discuss." "Like what?" Starlight inquired. "For starters, all that business with the Princesses retiring, and passing on the reigns of power to Twilight and her friends." Discord clarified. "Even I couldn't have imagined something so random." "I was surprised to hear that too." Starlight admitted. "But I can't think of any better candidates to take over the Princess's duties than Twilight and the others." "Neither can I." Discord agreed. "Mathematically speaking, six ponies can easily handle the jobs of two, so they have that on their side at least." "And saving Equestria all those times didn't hurt their chances." Starlight said wryly. "Something else they've got over the Princesses." Discord smirked. "Celestia and Luna have saved Equestria, what? Three or four times between them?" He counted on his lion paw. "While Twilight and the others have got to be at the dozen mark by now." He opened his eagle talon, revealing eight additional digits. "Any way you slice it, their credentials are far more impressive than that of the old guard." He waved his talon, and the extra digits vanished. "Makes you wonder why Celestia and Luna didn't retire sooner..." "I'm not touching that one." Starlight declared. "Speaking of saving Equestria, the so-called King Sombra certainly chose the wrong time to stage a comeback." Discord continued. "I wouldn't know much about that." Starlight declared. "You know, the whole brainwashing thing..." "Ah, yes." Discord shrugged. "Too bad you got taken out of play like that. If that sequence of events was some kind of story, I'd say the writers deliberately pushed you aside in order to focus on Twilight and the others.." "Not my proudest moment, that's for sure..." Starlight pouted. "I heard about what happened up in Canterlot, though. How you pretended to be hurt, so Twilight and the others could beat Sombra themselves. Not exactly the kind of pep talk I'd give, but I guess you can't argue with results..." "One of my finest performances." Discord smirked. "I really should've gotten an award for that." A golden statue formed in Discord's own image appeared in his claws. "I meant every word, though. And I was right. Twilight and the others didn't need no stinkin' Elements to defend Equestria." He chuckled smugly. "I do so love being right..." His expression suddenly turned. "But then it all went sour. Celestia and Luna suddenly decided to postpone their retirement, even though Twilight had already all but proven she was ready. What a waste of a perfectly good motivational speech..." "From what I understand, Twilight's still going to be taking Celestia and Luna's place eventually." Starlight pointed. "So what's the problem?" "The problem is that I put a lot of effort into making my point, and nopony took the hint." Discord pouted. "I mean, really. What is the point of a perfectly crafted manipulation for the greater good if it doesn't get immediate results?" "I'm guessing being patient isn't your strong suit?" Starlight offered. "What, you think just because I'm immortal, I can afford to stand and wait?" Discord scowled. "Well, you'd be wrong. I waited a thousand years to be free of that insufferable stone prison, remember?" "Well, it's not like you had a choice in the matter, was it?" Starlight countered. "...Touche." Discord admitted grudgingly. "But my point still stands. I'm used to getting more immediate results regarding my efforts with Twilight." "That's something I've been wondering about." Starlight declared. "I've heard a lot of stories about how you 'helped' Twilight learn lessons in the past." "And?" Discord said shiftily. "Well, from what I've heard, you never really put that kind of effort into helping the others." Starlight pointed out. "Not anywhere near as often as Twilight." "What of it?" Discord said flippantly. "Perhaps Twilight is simply the one who requires my assistance the most. Even after all this time, that pony just can't take pressure well. It's all so passé by now... Then again, if she didn't completely stress out so often, she wouldn't need my help... And I do like to help." "Or maybe you just like messing with Twilight." Starlight suggested. "That is a nice fringe benefit, I will admit." Discord smirked. "But first and foremost, my goal is to assist Twilight in growing as a pony. Which is why the Princesses sabotaging my efforts rankles me so much." "Because Twilight's personal growth is your own ongoing project?" Starlight asked skeptically. "You might say that." Discord shrugged. "With all the lessons I've helped her learn, you'd think she would have asked me to teach at this school. And if I hadn't told her what she needed to hear, she would never have found the will to stand up to Sombra. You'd think I'd be given a little more regard for all my hard work." "I'm sure Twilight appreciates all the... Effort you put into helping her." Starlight assured him. "Well, she could've fooled me." Discord scowled. "I put in all this work, and she seems to get all the glory, all the respect, all the adulation..." "If I didn't know better, I'd say you're actually a little... Jealous of Twilight." Starlight remarked. ".. Could you repeat that, please?" Discord said flatly. "I think I had something crazy in my ear." To emphasize his point, Discord dug into one of his ears, and extracted a winged pig. "I wouldn't blame you if you were." Starlight said fairly. "Twilight is the Princess of Friendship, after all. A hero of Equestria, beloved by many across the country, and even beyond... While you're still learning about friendship, and fitting in-" "Excuse me?!" Discord snarled, his hackles raised. "No offense." Starlight said quickly. "But let's face it, it wasn't that long ago that you were reformed from being a mad tyrant." "Need I remind you that I've been reformed longer than you have?" Discord seethed. "It's not really a contest, you know." Starlight frowned. "Of course you'd say that." Discord scoffed. "You got free room and board at Twilight's castle, a cushy job at this school, and don't think I haven't heard about Twilight's plan to leave both of those to you." "What exactly are you getting at here, Discord?" Starlight frowned. "Oh, nothing." Discord sneered. "Only that you seem to have been given everything ever since you reformed, while I barely got anything at all!" "So you're jealous of me now?!" Starlight growled. "Just calling it as I see it." Discord smirked. "For your information, I earned most of what I have, including my position as guidance counselor!" Starlight countered. "Oh, please." Discord scoffed. "A real guidance counselor would have been much more helpful." "A real guidance counselor has real clients, who really need help." Starlight snarled, her pride sufficiently wounded. "Meaning?" Discord glared. "Did you really want to talk through your problems, or did you just want an audience to listen to you talk on and on about yourself?" Starlight glared back. "Well, I never!" Discord manifested a gentleman's suit and monocle (which fell off as his eyes widened indignantly). "Do you really think I'm that self-centred?" "Just calling it as I see it." Starlight smugly. "Is this official counselor technique?" Discord growled. "Because I'm starting to doubt your credibility." "You're the one who came to me for guidance, remember?" Starlight retorted. "Well now I'm starting to regret it." Discord admitted bluntly. "Hey, I'm not forcing you to stay." Starlight growled, her patience at its limit. "You want out, the door's right there." "That's the first good piece of advice you've given me all day!" Discord huffed. The door to Starlight's office opened, but Discord, rather than walk through, simply vanished. The door then slammed shut, with far more force than it should have. Starlight winced at the noise. Before she could shake off the emotional turmoil of the argument, every item on her desk, table, file cabinet and bookcase suddenly flew off their perches, crashing to the floor. "Urrgh!" Starlight groaned. "Times like these make me want to institute an 'appointments only' policy..." She muttered to herself as she began cleaning up. The next morning, Starlight had less appointments than usual. So she spent the spare time making adjustments to her favorite kite. With some alterations to the spars, she was certain the kite could handle the angle of interference better. And a nice flight would be just the thing to help her forget about the unpleasantness of the previous day. "Okay, I think that'll do the trick." Starlight smiled as she looked over her work. Turning it over with her magic, she found that the symbol of her Cutie Mark on the other side had been replaced with an image of Discord... Which turned to face her. "Things certainly got heated yesterday, wouldn't you agree?" Discord said nonchalantly. "Tempers flared, harsh words were spoken, there were faults on both sides..." "What is it now, Discord?" Starlight growled, not relishing the idea of picking up where they left off yesterday. Discord's image vanished from the kite, and he appeared in front of Starlight. "On reflection, I think I may have overreacted just a tiny bit." He admitted. "Maybe a tiny bit..." Starlight said sarcastically, unwilling to take Discord's words at face level. However, she recognised that Discord had a genuinely regretful look on his face. "...But I wasn't exactly a shining example of level-headedness either." She added, acknowledging her own part in the drama. "Like I said, faults on both sides." Discord shrugged. "For example, I may not have been as cooperative as I could have been." "I did notice you seemed a little... Guarded yesterday." Starlight noted. "Can I help it if being open isn't the easiest thing for a trickster and master of manipulation?" Discord countered. "Being straight with others isn't exactly my forte, even now..." "Believe it or not, I can relate." Starlight sympathised. "It took me a while not to resort to using magic for every problem. Breaking the habit of a lifetime is tough enough, but for you, it's more like the habit of several lifetimes..." "Well, I'm glad we're on the same page here." Discord smiled. "Look, I can't force you to do this." Starlight admitted. "I can only help you if you want me to help you. That's how guidance counseling works." She looked him in the eye. "So... Do you want me to help you?" "...Yes." Discord said earnestly. "Good." Starlight smiled. "Then let's get to work." Discord teleported himself back on the couch. "Ready whenever you are." He declared. "Good." Starlight nodded. "Maybe we can start with the root of the matter." "I didn't know guidance counseling involved gardening." Discord joked. "Ha, ha, ha." Starlight said sarcastically. "I'm talking about the real reason you're here. The reason you came to me for guidance. It must've been something important for you to actually come back after our little... Disagreement yesterday." "Must it?" Discord tried to play it cool. "If you want me to help, then you have to help me understand what's wrong." Starlight pointed out. "What's really eating you, Discord?" "Well..." Discord said awkwardly. "What I'm about to say isn't going to leave this room, right?" "Whatever you're going to say will stay between us." Starlight pledged. "I promise." "Okay then." Discord took a moment to compose himself. "The reason I brought up current events first yesterday is because... That's exactly what's worrying me." "Current events?" Starlight raised her eyebrow. "Exactly." Discord nodded. "Even if it was delayed, Twilight and her friends will be taking over for Celestia and Luna. They'll be spending most of their time running the entire country. I was all for Twilight becoming the great leader I know she can be, but after thinking about it, I realized that it would mean she and our other friends would be too busy keeping Equestria running smoothly to really hang out much anymore. No carefully-crafted lessons for Twilight, no tea parties with Fluttershy... And knowing how devoted Spike is to Twilight, it's all but certain that he'll be so focused on being her number one royal assistant to spare much time for future guys' nights... So where does that leave me? With nothing to do, that's what." "So there's the problem." Starlight summarized. "Things are changing, and you feel uncomfortable about it." "Pretty much, yeah." Discord sighed. "It's ironic, when you think about it. Being the master of chaos, I should be well used to change. But instead, I feel like everything should stay the same." "That's nothing to be ashamed of." Starlight told him. "I know better than most what that's like. For years, I felt like Sunburst getting his Cutie Mark was the worst change ever. But now I know better. Change is good. Without it, I'd still be a misguided dictator." "But what if this particular change places a wedge between me and our friends?" Discord worried. "That will never happen." Starlight assured him. "Twilight, Fluttershy, Spike... All of our friends value friendship more than anything. Them taking charge of Equestria won't change that. They'll still be able to find time for you, me, and all the important creatures in their lives." "Are you sure about that?" Discord asked. "I'm sure." Starlight smiled. "And if they are busy, you can always hang out with me." "Even with your own little promotion?" Discord mused. "Becoming full-time headmare of this school may mean more work, but I'll always find time for my friends." Starlight promised. "That's a relief." Discord smiled. "...Say, have you ever gone kite-flying before?" Starlight asked. "Hmm, can't say that I have." Discord admitted. "It's a great way to relax." Starlight smiled. "I was planning to go on a quick flight myself, if you'd like to join me?" "...Sure, why not?" Discord grinned, conjuring up a kite with his face on it. "These guidance counseling sessions are so intense. I'd say I've earned some downtime." "You and me both." Starlight nodded. "But if you ever need more guidance, my door is always open... Even after I become headmare." "Now that's a real guidance counselor." Discord grinned. "That's why I came to you. I was going by past experience." "Experience?" Starlight frowned. "Oh, yes." Discord nodded. "During my little, shall we say, 'hissy fit' over not being included in the school, you managed to deduce the real reason for my transgressions. Very impressive, it must be said. As close we are, even Fluttershy can't always see my true motives." "Guess I've just got a knack for reading others." Starlight shrugged. "That's probably why Twilight made me a guidance counselor in the first place." "An excellent decision on her part." Discord declared. "When that pony has her head straight, she can be quite insightful." "You don't have to tell me that." Starlight declared. "I probably wouldn't be where I am now if she weren't." "Speaking of where you are, I believe you invited me to join you in the oh-so-exciting pursuit of kite flying." Discord waved his kite invitingly. "And where do we partake in such a thrilling endeavour, might I ask?" "Judging by today's weather? I'd say the hills just outside Ponyville should do just fine." Starlight declared. "You're the expert." Discord shrugged. "Speaking of which, I hope I can count on you to give a lowly first-timer a few pointers in the finer points of flying one of these?" "It would be my pleasure." Starlight smiled. "In that case, I think I'll go on ahead, snag us a good spot." Discord offered. "Don't keep me waiting too long, teach!" Discord vanished in his usual flash of light. "I wouldn't dream of it." Starlight smiled. Carrying her kite in her magic, she walked out of her office, closing the door behind her. "I still have plenty of guidance to give. All you have to do is ask for it..."