Twilight, Rarity, and Chef Gordon had just arrived at Zesty Gourmand's newest eatery on Canterlot's premiere Restaurant Row where the finest culinary accomplishments in Equestria are supposed to be located. Their first impressions of her restaurant were extremely mixed as they came in to be greeted by the friendly and inviting manager of the restaurant, Miss Lemon Drop. After leaving the three in silence for a few minutes, the group noticed how drab and dull the color scheme of the restaurant was. The owner of the eatery and former high-class Food Critic Zesty Gourmand then came out of the kitchen and Gordon's first impression of her seemed mostly decent, except for the fact of his suspicions of how she treats her manager Lemon Drop.
Lemon Drop then came back out of the kitchen a few minutes later showed the trio to a table while Zesty Gourmand herself retreated into her office while her staff took care of their orders. The booth itself was by the window, allowing them to have plenty of light while they eat their food. Lemon Drop gave a short quick bow to the trio and then moved off to assist the few customers that were still in the restaurant.
Gordon gave the server a strange look and then looked back to the girls and Spike.
"So. What do you three think?" Gordon asked the three. "You have the home advantage as it was being born here and having more knowledge on Equestrian customs and culture.
"All I know about this place is what I heard from Pinkie," Spike replied. "And usually, when it comes to advise about food, I try to listen to Pinkie. And she says this place stinks."
"Zesty Gourmand is just causing all of these problems herself." Rarity snootily replied. "She makes mistakes and throws her toxic attitude at everypony else. She tried to discredit me in front of Canterlot's citizens!"
Spike knew exactly what she was alluding to the moment she said it. Pinkie had told Spike not too long ago of how venomously Zesty had spoken to Rarity while they were assisting Saffron Masala and Coriander Cumin.
"Rarity, we all know your clothes are always beautiful. Don't let what she said to get to you," Spike encouraged. "I'll be sure to give her a piece of my mind if she ever tries to talk to you like that again."
Rarity's scowl turned into a warm smile as she leaned over and pecked the young dragon on the cheek, causing him to turn as red as a ripe tomato.
"I appreciate that very much Spikey Wikey, thank you." she happily replied. "I'm just a little flustered by this whole thing that's all."
"I will say that it seems like Lemon Drop probably has something to say about all of this. You should probably get her side of the story." Twilight observed.
Gordon nodded and looked over to the kitchen door for a moment.
"Oh, believe me, I will," Gordon agreed. "That poor girl seemed to be deathly afraid of her boss. I'm gonna have to see if we can talk to her while Miss Gourmand is not around. Let's just hope we can survive whatever our server brings us to eat."
As if on cue, a young mare with white fur and a short yellow mane and tail came out with a forced smile. Gordon noticed that her large ears were pointed back against her head as if she was stressed out by something. She made her way over to the table in a fast walk. Not running as to be disruptive, but still keeping up a brisk pace.
Rarity put a smile on her face and gasped at the server mare coming around the corner.
"Senko dahling, Is that you?" Rarity asked.
The server mare widened her green eyes and began to smile.
"Miss Rarity! It is very good to see you again." the mare replied cheerfully. "And to serve the newest princess too! What an honor!"
Gordon noticed that she spoke in a clearly Japanese accent as she went into a bow, attempting to respect Twilight, who was clearly uncomfortable with the display.
'Does Equestria have equivalents to all of Earth's ethnicities and cultures?' he thought quizzically. 'Let's hope the English equivalents aren't as cringe-worthy as that Pipsqueak lad Pinkie introduced me to earlier.'
"Please Miss Senko, I'm here as a friend and a fellow purveyor of food alongside Gordon here."
"You two know each other?" Gordon asked Rarity politely.
"Oh very much so, yes. I worked in her Boutique as a cleaner for two years. She was always so kind to me and my family. Unfortunately, my family had to move here for personal reasons."
"I always miss your personal touch, Senko. You were always a delight to have in my shop."
Gordon thought that this might have been as good a time as any to interject and attempt to get a bit more information from the server on Zesty and the state of her restaurant.
"May I ask you a few questions my darling?" Gordon asked kindly and politely.
"Oh, um. I don't see why not," she replied. "But I don't know how much help I'm going to be though...."
"Any information will help Miss Senko. We are here to help fix this place in any way we can." Twilight stated.
She seemed to be reluctant for a moment until she looked behind her to make sure that nobody was listening, and leaned forward.
"Miss Gourmand has been having some money problems lately. I am not familiar with all of the details, but I have overheard loud shouting coming from her office late in the evening just before closing," she whispered. "I'm afraid I don't know much more than that."
"That's alright. You may have provided me with a lead to look into." Gordon replied politely. "Now, why don't we all order lunch shall we? And see whether or not this place is up to snuff."
"Yeah, I'm starving." Spike agreed.
"Yes, let's." Twilight and Rarity agreed.
Senko nodded and handed the four of them menus to look at.
Gordon noticed immediately that there was a multitude of dishes that included nothing but various types of plants and flowers. Something that was definitely going to be a problem for a human-like himself.
"Well....everything here looks, interesting. I'll give it that." Twilight said.
"What am I even looking at?" Spike asked confused.
"A typical example of a high-class restaurant with small portions my boy," Gordon replied as matter-of-factly. "These types of restaurants I usually try to leave to others, but I have had a bit of experience with them. I attempt to stay in the range of medium to large portion eateries."
"I'll help you order something fairly simple as far as these kinds of restaurants go." Twilight offered.
She then went over to Spike's side of the table and assisted him.
"I think then I will try your Petit Gold Artichoke with Walnut Sauce. Unfortunately, humans can't process most flowers and grasses without getting seriously sick." Gordon requested.
Rarity seemed to be stumped on deciding her order, so she just went to the next logical conclusion.
"I believe I will have the same as well," she replied candidly. "I am not feeling very strong one way or the other today."
Senko nodded and grabbed their plates as she began to head back into the kitchen to inform the cooks of their orders.
Inside the kitchen, many of Zesty Gourmand's staff were nervous about having to serve food to not only Rarity, one of the single most influential ponies in Canterlot, but also Spike the Saviour of the Crystal Empire and Princess Twilight, the newest Princess of Equestria. To add on top of all of that, they were preparing to serve a dignitary of an unknown race from another dimension.
"Slap Chop! Have those orders out on the double!" the head chef barked.
"I'll have them out when I'm ready!" the sous chef Slap Chop sassed back as she was lazing about on one of the spare tables.
The head chef came up to her and grabbed her by the scruff of the neck.
"Are you ready now?" he growled.
"....yeah, I'm ready," she replied sheepishly.
As Slap Chop slowly got off of the table and began making her way to her station, Flambe Briquette the head chef angrily gave her a solid smack on the plot, causing her to quietly shriek and hurry up.
Fifteen minutes later, the server pony Senko came out with two black trays and multiple plates across her back and supported by her tail as she ignited her horn and deposited all of the food on the table. She then deposited water goblets on the table for each respective customer. Senko then bowed to the group once again and then moved off to somewhere else.
As soon as their food came into sight, various types of reactions on Gordon's table, varying from extreme confusion from Spike and Twilight to disgust and apathy from Rarity and himself. What was placed in front of him looked like a small slab of green mush that had been flattened by a car tire and drizzled in an unknown substance. He tried using his fork to dig around in it, attempting to find something of worth within the dish but was sad to come up with nothing.
"Wow," Gordon exclaimed. "Doesn't that look absolutely hideous?"
"I have to strongly agree with you Gordon. This is beyond subpar," Rarity nodded.
Gordon then tried eating it as he grabbed his fork and knife and carefully sliced off a small piece of his tiny dish.
"My God, that's just mad," he said morosely. "It's chewy, stale, and feels like it's been beaten the crap out of."
He lifted the whole dish with his fork and knife and began to notice how slimy it was.
"That's just super fuckin disgusting. What about the dish you two got?"
Twilight and Spike were still busy chowing down on their food. After a minute, they painfully tried swallowing what they were served as they chugged down their water.
"Eating that Corn Spinach Tarte aux Raisins was like chewing on a piece of rubber," Twilight coughed out.
"Yeah, and feels just as rough on the way down," Spike coughed out.
Spike and Twilight only coughed more violently and violently, causing him to become more and more worried.
"Oh Lord, hold on you two. Senko my darling! Can we please get some more water over here? I'm afraid the Princess and her son are having a hard time with the food." Gordon called out with a small amount of urgency in his voice.
"Right away Chef Ramsay!" she replied fearfully.
It was only a few seconds as she dashed in and back out of the kitchen with a large tray of ice-cold glasses of water which she deposited onto the table, allowing Twilight and Spike to chug them down one by one.
Gordon looked at them with concern.
"You guys alright now?" he asked kindly.
"Yeah," they replied in unison.
"Shit weasels, that fuckin food almost killed you!" he cried.
Lemon Drop overlooking the situation from the entrance to the kitchen began smashing her head against a wall from a blatant mistake that nearly gravelly injured two of their royals. She angrily marched back into the kitchen, trying to figure out who made the mistake.
"Who the buck sent those out!?" she snapped. "The Petit Gold Artichoke with Walnut Sauce was slimy as a newt and the Petit Corn Spinach Tarte aux Raisins was tough as leather! Our newest Princess and Prince nearly choked to death on that!"
"I flipped it really quickly in a couple of seconds, but it looked ready!" one of the sous chefs replied defensively.
"Well, It obviously wasn't numb skull! Did you tenderize it and soak it for five minutes?"
"Yes I did," he replied.
"Did you overcook it?"
"No, I did not overcook it Lemon!"
Back in the dining room, after Gordon and Rarity made sure Twilight and Spike had properly recovered from their culinary mishap, Gordon tried his best to continue through eating the meal as Lemon Drop came back out to apologize for the sous chef's painful mistake.
"I'm back again," she greeted in a disappointed tone. "Are you alright now your Highness? I am so sorry for the asinine actions of my kitchen staff. Please forgive me."
"The crisis was averted, so I suppose there's no harm done," Twilight calmly replied.
"Even though it was their freaking fault that we nearly choked to death," Spike snidely remarked to Gordon.
Gordon cut a small piece of his dish and handed it to Lemon Drop.
"Here, just try a piece of that. It is so damn undercooked." he insisted.
After a moment of reluctance, Lemon did as he asked. The moment the food went on to her tongue, she tasted a multitude of bland and overcooked flavors just as he said.
"It's just smothered in that fucking sauce!"
"Yeah, I see what you mean," she agreed. "That is absolutely unacceptable."
"And just look at this," he said in an unbelieving manner as he used his fork to sweep dozens of little black clumps to the corner of the plate.
"Is that charcoal?"
"Yeah, your twat headed cooks nearly fed Rarity and I charcoal," he replied angrily.
"I agree! How is that even physically possible?" Rarity added.
"Being around Pinkie for as long as I have, you learn to be more accepting of bucking insane things happening in your life,"
Spike replied.
She rubbed the bridge of her snout with one of her hooves and began picking their plates up.
"I'll just take those away for you and see if I can't get you something better." Lemon Drop said tiredly.
Back in the kitchen, Lemon Drop deposited the plates on the preparing line for the cooks to see.
"He found clumps of what looks like charcoal in his food. CHARCOAL!" Lemon Drop angrily said to the cooks. "It made the food all grungy and nasty!"
A few of the sous chefs there tasted the food and nearly puked from what they tasted.
Zesty Gourmand who had just stepped into the kitchen to check on progress a few minutes ago was taken aback by this. She rushed over to where the plates were and examined them. After a few seconds, a furious glare adorned her face.
"Charcoal?!? I give you all positions at my prestigious restaurant and this is how you repay my kindness?!? By causing accidents that nearly poisons my most prestigious customers?!?" Zesty snapped. "Get their next dishes out on the double and do it right this time!!!"
"I am not usually willing to speak candidly like this, but since Her Majesty Princess Luna commanded that we speak with you, I suppose there is no hiding anything Monsieur interviewer," Zesty said to the cameramen interviewing her. "However, if I see another bungle like that from them, I will make it my life's work to ruin their lives."