//------------------------------//
// Liber Secundus: Conloquii 
// Story: Cave Inanilogistam 
// by Betless 
//------------------------------//


"Non audet! Sui videre non adprobat! Phantasum obsecro, aliquis paenitebis non audet..."

"Non scio, quod est? Quare me scit? Meum respondere!"

"Tempum polum habo.... Si non aliquis tenes, me tenere. Nomen mei...Morpheme est."










I jerk awake when I hear an enormous crashing noise and the sound of metal grinding and buckling. Immediately running through a number of emergency contingency plans, I light up my horn and prepare to teleport outside the train with the rest of the car's occupants...only to groan and let my magic fade down when I see Discord's mismatched arms holding a set of cymbals inches away from my muzzle. 

"Discord, you almost gave me a heart attack!" I growl, "I thought the train was crashing!"

"I know, don't you like them?" Discord says, waving his cymbals around. "They're enchanted to make any sound the user wants! See here," he claps them together and a soft rushing of water like a wave on the beach emanates from them. "Isn't that incredible? And about the heart attack," he continues, smiling good-naturedly. "Your long years of panic-induced hyperventilation and adrenaline rushes have left you with the strongest heart I've seen in years! Your circulatory system is in no danger whatsoever." He winks. "Good job keeping it so healthy. What's your secret? ...Getting hot and bothered by anything outside your rigid organization systems?"

I scowl. "No, actually, I take Tai Chi. And, you, Discord, I am sorely tempted to not allow you to come with me."

"Good choice, although I do like Zui Quan better. Did you even allow me in the first place?" he counters, playing his cymbals to a woodpecker's rattling. "And what makes you think you could stop me coming with you?"

Shoot, that's a good point, uh... "By boring you to death with technical details!" I say, in a flash of inspiration. "Did you know the wheel chassis underneath the train is called a bogie? Bogies are usually placed on a swivel to facilitate turning the train car, but on cargo trucks they are most often fixed. While most bogies have two axles to simplify design, bogies with up to five axles--" 

"Are made for cars designed for heavier loads," Discord finishes, a small slab of what looks like onyx in his claw. It's giving off a faint blue light, which shines into his face. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were just reading off of the Wikipedia page."

I raise my eyebrows. "What kind of reference is that?"

He ignores me. "Twilight," he says, putting the slab into his pocket, "I think as a friend I can speak honestly. I absolutely hate when you call yourself boring. It is a lie, clean and simple." Placing his paw over his heart, he nods sagely. "You are one of the least boring ponies I have ever had the pleasure to meet."

I blink. "Wow, uh...thanks, Discord, that's really--"

"For you, at least in the academic side of things, a more appropriate adjective would be...say, obsessed, or perhaps...overenthusiastic..." He waves his claw. "Single-minded?"

"...that's really kind of almost nice of you," I mutter, but I'm saved from having to deal with his list lengthening any more by the conductor shouting for Canterlot station.

Before we get to the station however, Discord suddenly jumps. "Ah, drat," he mutters, and starts snapping his fingers rapidly, summoning all sorts of random objects and stuffing them in a backpack. "Can't use my powers inside the city walls."

Oh yeah, he said something about that earlier...I don't know how else to ask, but...

I scratch a hoof on the floor. "Discord?"

"Hmm?" He pauses in the middle of stuffing an entire double bass into his backpack. "You say something, Twilight? What is on your mind now? I'm sure even I couldn't predict that half the time!" He chuckles, leaning on a claw. "Do you have something to ask?"

"I was just, um, wondering, by..." I grimace, "by what you meant by a 'glimpse of the future.'"

Discord's eyebrows go up slightly. "Exactly that, young Twilight. I was granted a glimpse of the future. But of course," he abandons the half-subsumed bass for a minute to snap his fingers, "one can't just look at the future and be certain of the path it will take. It's more of a Heisenberg principle. You can measure the future's magnitude, but not its direction," he says, spinning a ball on his talon and poking it with a paw, causing it to roll onto the floor, "or its direction, but not its magnitude. And of course, observing it causes it to change. I could have seen one of quintillions of different probable futures, all equally likely, and all just as predictable as the others."

I frown, thinking to myself. "Well, what good does that do? Sounds like you got a bad deal." 

"Ah, well lucky for me that wasn't the case," Discord says, putting a paw on the neck of the bass and shoving it gently into the bag. "I said I could have, not that I did." He gestures broadly. "Instead of one of the seemingly infinite possible futures, I saw one that not only was improbable, but impossible. How delightful for me, how delightful indeed..." He trails off, his eyes glazed. 

I'm about to say something when he shakes his head. "Anyway, the mere existence of an impossible future is enough to make my wager worth it. I will abide by Celestia and Luna's demands, regardless of how much I loathe restrictions, because although I may be Chaos, I will at least be fair when I make a deal. I'm not Tirek, for crying out loud."

He shrugs, winks at me, and sits down to finish his backpack preparations, leaving me to ponder that for a few minutes.

Once he's finished packing up everything--including the kitchen sink--that he could possibly need, he slips the backpack on.

"Well, Twilight?" he asks as the train pulls up to the platform. "You ready to solve a dream magic mystery?"

"I guess," I reply, picking up my gear. "As ready as I'll ever be."


It takes us a quarter of an hour to get up to the Canterlot Gardens, fortunately, that's not particularly late for the 6:00 schedule. Discord, of course, sings his heart out the entire way, something about a tree and a valley or something. Everypony gives us a wide berth and some dirty looks, and I finally get annoyed enough to ask, "Discord? Can you quiet down a little?"

"...and the tree in the bog and the bog down--hm? Oh, of course, Twilight! All you had to do was ask!" he chuckles.  "Sorry if I was bothering you. Although," he scratches his goatee, "given another hour, I could probably make it up the the legendary ten elephants. I've only ever gotten to three."

"Three is quite enough, thank you," I grimace.

Discord ignores my comment. "I always find that when I am forced to walk, singing helps pass the time a little faster. And what do you know--it did! Hello Luna! You're looking well today!" The last part Discord addresses towards the addressed alicorn at the gate to the gardens, who gives a strained smile. "Ah...Discord! A pleasure to see you again...so soon."

Discord grimaces, but raises all three of his hands, his wings, his ears, his horn, and his snaggletooth, saying, "As you and your sister desired, I shall not use my chaos magic within the boundaries of Canterlot for the affectation of anything or anycreature in any manner save on myself to facilitate my continued existence on this plane. And don't worry," he adds patiently when he sees Luna's expression is still suspicious. "I've memorized the fine print, as well. If I may, you've done a wonderful job eliminating any theoretical loopholes in the wording of the contract." He nods his head in honest admiration. "Celestia has a lot of experience drawing up contracts, I presume."

Luna blinks, clearly taken aback at Discord's...well, for lack of a better word, maturity at the moment. "I suppose so."

Discord smiles, then grins, winking. "And though you may have about a thousand years less practice, you're no slouch in the way of lexical language either."

Both Luna and I really don't know how to react to this. It's so...weird seeing Discord act with something akin to respect... 

Finally, Luna clears her throat, saying, "Oh, well, I.... Thank you...? I suppose?" She gives Discord a confused but somewhat genuine smile, to which he thanks her.

She then turns to me, and smiles more warmly. "Ah, Twilight! I'm delighted to see you joining the Astronomy Party! We've been planning yonder event for a long--" she coughs. "Excuse me, it resurfaces every once in a while. It's nice to see you again, Twilight, regardless."

I bow. "Thank you, Luna! I'm looking forward to seeing Hayley's Comet with the first pony to research it!"

Luna blushes softly. "Er, thank you. I'm glad you share my enthusiasm for the night sky. Actually, come to speak of it, more ponies have already arrived than I had originally expected." She gestures around the gardens to the sea of blankets and picnic tables set up on the flagstones and grass between the statues. Ponies mill around, walking between telescopes, holding binoculars to their eyes, or pore over charts and point upwards. There must be at least two hundred fifty ponies in total around the garden.

I was hoping a lot of ponies came by, but this is even better! Canterlot, although big, only has so many astronomers. It's nice to see so many ordinary ponies taking an interest in something they've never done before. Well, I suppose it so happens they get to spend the night stargazing with a Princess, but even so...Luna never had the same support that Celestia does, it's just a common logistic of change that most ponies want to stick with the established routine. With the amount of ponies here, though, I think that gap in support is definitely getting smaller.

Turning to her, I smile. "Wow! That's great, Princess!" I say, before remembering I have wings now. "Er, Luna!"

"Did you just forget you're royalty as well?" Discord asks, eyebrow raised. "Really, Twilight, it's been years, and I am still amazed by the juxtaposition of your immense intelligence and your often crippling absent-mindedness. But that's besides the point," he says, ignoring my dirty look. "We have another reason why we're here, remember?"

"Oh, yeah." I look around. "Pr--Luna. You aren't, ah...terribly busy at the moment, are you?"

She shakes her head. "Not to my knowledge, no. Ponies have already been thanking me for organizing the event, and although I'm sure some of them may have questions or boons to ask of me, I should be able to temporarily abscond without much issue. Is something terribly the matter?"

"Well..." I roll my hoof a little. "I don't know? I don't think so, but, uh...is there someplace more secluded we could go to talk about this?"

Luna nods, looking serious. "Of course. The garden maze will suffice perfectly."

A short teleportation later, and the three of us are in the center of the hedge maze. Luna wastes no time in looking at me expectantly. "Now," she begins, "since you desire this to be a private matter and what is more, you have none other than Discord of all abominations against nature with you," to which Discord smiles and thanks her, "this must be a matter of grave and/or strange consequences." A serious expression spreads across her muzzle. "But I am ready. Hit me. Not literally, of course," she clarifies, "it is a figure of speech. I think. Modern slang is something I still have not wrapped my head around."

I glance at Discord, who shrugs. How do I begin? "Well...have you noticed anything...unusual happening in the Dream Realm recently?"

Luna nods, an eyebrow raised. "As a matter of fact, yes, I have. I have been occupied these last few nights tracking a particularly elusive magic signature...one that has led me to believe only one thing can possibly explain its existence."

"What's that?" Discord prompts, pulling a notepad and a cliche reporter's fedora out of his pack.

Luna pauses for effect. She always had a flair. "Something has happened that has not happened in all my years, so unprecedented it may pose a deep risk to the Dream Realm." She fixes us with a gaze of steel. "There is another pony who has developed the ability to harness and use dream magic."


Discord and I stare at her blankly. "Really?" Discord says, drawing out the word in disbelief, then slowly shifting his gaze to me. "Isn't that just the strangest thing you've ever heard?

Luna narrows her eyes at him, but turns back to me. "It is a terrible portent of what may begin to occur. But how did you know of this newfound fluctuation in the natural order of dreams? Do you, perchance, have any information about this pony? Any tips, say, or any clues? Any...tea to spill?" She frowns. "Personally I find that quite wasteful. Especially if it is that delicious Pu-erh tea my sister imports and serves in those small teapots. Or jasmine scented. Or dragon pearls. Speaking of which," she turns to us, "could I interest you in a cup of tea? I'm sure Celestia would be delighted if I took the opportunity to share some of her favorites with her...her dear friends," she says, shooting Discord a short glance before looking a little bit guilty.

"Oh, yes please," I say, always willing to have a cup of tea, and Discord shrugs, nodding. "If you'd be so kind?"

Luna smiles and with a flash, a teaset has materialized between the three of us. "I don't suppose you're familiar with Pu-erh?"

"Actually, I am, at least," I rub my muzzle sheepishly, "at least in the academic sense. I've never actually tried it."

Discord lifts up his slightly steaming cup, which looks minuscule in his talons. "Brings a whole new meaning to teacakes, doesn't it?"

Luna raises an eyebrow, but then gets the reference, and giggles a little. Giggles. A little. I absently take a sip of my tea.

Immediately I find myself standing in a well-raked Zen garden, a grove of orange trees around me, leaves floating down in the slight breeze in almost slow motion. In front of me, at the edge of the sand, is a small, ornately carved wooden shrine, a few lit candles scattered across its flat altar surface. Incense wafts through the air, swirling around the simplistic but exquisite beauty of the garden, each rock and ridge of sand perfectly in tune with its surroundings.

I blink rapidly to find both Discord and Luna staring at me. Discord with an expression of interest, and Luna with one of concern. "Huh? Oh." I shake my head, putting my cup down for now. "Luna, you were saying something about somepony and dream magic, right?"

"I was, wasn't I? Oh yes, before I was so neatly distracted by the tea," she nods to herself. "Yes. I was asking if you two have any information, as you seemed to know about it already. Is that why you needed to talk to me?" Luna takes a sip of her tea. "Do you know anything useful?"

"Uh, no, er, maybe...actually." I say, struggling to get my thoughts back in order. "Well, huh. How do I explain this?" Taking a deep breath, I steel my nerves. "That pony with the ability to harness dream magic? That's, um, that's me."


This time it's Luna's turn to stare blankly. "You...you are joking, correct? This is a joke of Discord's, is it not?" She looks between our two deadpan expressions. "Sweet heavens above, you are serious..." Shocked, she continues. "This cannot possibly be...hmmm." Her eyes light up, she's obviously remembered something. "How do you know?"

"Discord can sense the magic of other creatures," I say, "and he's pretty convinced. Besides, some weird things have been happening to me lately." 

Discord pulls a magnifying glass out of his backpack. "Here. This one's been enchanted so you can see magical signatures." He hands it to her, and she picks it up in her magic. "It would work better if you didn't surround it with magic of your own," he says in exasperation, and in response Luna shifts it to her hoof and peers at me through it.

Giving it back, she asks, "What sort of, as you put it, weird things?" 

"Well, for one, I've been having images pop into my head whenever I eat, each particular flavor, or combination of, I think, affecting how the image looks, and, um, it usually represents an architectural element?" 

To my utmost surprise and astonishment, Luna nods slowly, and mutters, "Yes, yes, how queer indeed. That might be..." She stops suddenly, obviously realizing something, and glances at my cup of tea. "You...did this happen to you with the tea?"

I nod, and she hums softly to herself. "If I could be so forward, what was the...the image you received?" I awkwardly explain the Zen garden to her. She smiles. "It is good tea, is it not?"

Discord looks back from where he's been covertly pouring himself another cup to find us both staring at him, and he nearly drops both the cup and the teapot in surprise. Fumbling to catch them before they fall, he quickly sets the teapot back down and tries much too hard to take a normal sip of his tea. "I...quite agree."

Luna and I can't help but crack a smile at his antics.

Finally, Luna lights up her horn and closes her eyes. After a minute or two, she stops, and speaks up. "I don't want to believe it," she says ponderously, "but the facts all add up. Twilight, it appears you really do have a small amount of dream magic."

Discord looks over at me and smirks. "There, I'm not pulling your leg. Happy now?"

"Hey, I never said I doubted you!" I protest. I was just thinking it.

"No, but you were thinking it," he counters smugly. Drat!

"This is exceedingly strange," Luna continues, oblivious to our bickering. "In all my years, and Celestia's as well, we have never encountered another pony who could use dream magic. This is--this is unprecedented. And that you, of all ponies? I guess, in one sense, I'm not truly surprised...you are the Element of Magic, after all." She waves a hoof. "And I suppose it is better to have this happen to a pony I know rather than a stranger."

"Actually, Luna," I add, "I hate to interrupt, but I was going to ask. How does tasting in architecture point to having dream magic?"

"Well, dream magic is directly associated with emotions and experiences," Luna explains, smiling slightly, "especially those of the more primal senses such as taste and smell. Since these are more closely tied with the subconscious, uncontrolled dream magic more easily finds a way to manifest through these senses." She gazes into thin air. "I remember just after I got my cutie mark, I was always smelling in poetry. I believe you can still find the Violet Sonnets collection in the Canterlot Archives."

"Oh. Well, that would explain it," I say, still flabbergasted even at this logical and reasonable--at least I think--explanation.

Luna turns to me again. "May I ask another question of you?" When I nod, she continues. "When, and how, do you recall obtaining these connections with dream magic?"

I rub the back of my neck. Discord takes the opportunity to speak up from his second refill. "Actually, to my knowledge, she didn't know at all until I had to figure it out for her. I don't blame her, of course," he says, a paw on his chest, "it's a rather obscure and specific branch of magic."

I glare at him, but concede his point. "He's right, Luna, I didn't realize I had it until this afternoon, and I only started having the, well I guess the early symptoms this morning."

"Hmm. No encounters with dream demons?" I shake my head. "No dreams or nightmares of an overly prophetic nature?" I shake my head slowly, and say, "I don't think so. I haven't really been remembering my dreams all that well recently."

Luna looks puzzled. "A circumstance worth considering, I suppose...As for me, I can tell you that I first noticed the magical signature three nights ago as of tonight."

"Regardless of the circumstances of your obtaining dream magic," she narrows her eyes, more in puzzlement than in suspicion, "which I will be investigating, I think," she says with a pause, "I think this could be considered a blessing." Her eyes suddenly go wide and she smiles wider than I've ever seen her smile before. "Yes! A blessing. Think about it, Twilight. You have dream magic."

I'm puzzled. "Yeah, what about...it..."

OH.

I have dream magic. Doesn't that mean I can do dream stuff? Visit ponies in dreams? Fight nightmares?

Wait! I don't know how to do any of that, though. How would I--wait...

I look over at Luna, who's still smiling like a madmare. Confronted with what Luna seems to be implying, my brain has to simplify the information as much as possible to avoid overload.


Twilight + dream magic + not knowing how + Luna knowing = Luna teaching Twilight how.


"W--WHAT? What! W-w-wait, what?" I say, still unable to process. "Are you saying...?"

Luna practically prances in place. "Yes! I can teach you how to use dream magic! Oh, this will be so much fun!"

"Oh...my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh oh my goshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!" This is so amazing! Not only do I get to learn a type of magic literally NONPONY except for Luna knows, but I get to learn it DIRECTLY from her, and, and...and I just can't believe it! This is so great! ...I think I might be hyperventilating. How do I stop?

After breathing heavily into the paper bag Discord provided, I think I've calmed down enough to speak intelligently. "Buh, wha? Y--You, really, wha?" Apparently, I was wrong.

Luna grins. "I think this will be an excellent choice for growth for both of us. You, for doing what you do best, and me, for following in my sister's hoofsteps and becoming a teacher and mentor."

Reclining in a folding beach chair he'd unpacked, Discord speaks up. "And me, as well. I can already see the delicious chaos that will inevitably arise from putting Twilight in charge of others' dreams. Just try not to alphabetize their subconsciousnesses while you're at it!" he chuckles, before taking another sip out of his cup. "Good lord, this is good tea."

Rolling her eyes at him, Luna continues the train of the conversation. "What do you say, Twilight, would you like me to teach you how to use your newly acquired dream magic for the betterment of and protection of our subjects?"

I sputter for a few seconds, before I finally work up the fine motor control to say "Would I? Of course, Luna!"

"Then it is settled!" Luna says with another grin. "Although tonight will be too busy, perhaps we could..." but she trails off with a frown. "Hmm. You are needed in Ponyville, are you not?" I nod sadly, and she sighs. "Well, that does put a damper in our plans..."

Discord makes strong eye contact with her, and starts gesticulating, trying to convey a point.

She seems to debate with herself in her head for a while, before her eyes finally fall on Discord. Tilting her head slightly, she stares at him in bewilderment. 

Sleep? Distance? I don't know? I don't care! Uh... 

Luna gets it at the same time I do. She groans and slowly puts a hoof to her face. "Ah yes. Thank you Discord. Twilight, I had forgotten. Dream magic happens in dreams." Her hoof slowly slides off her face in her exasperation. "Therefore, it does not matter if I am in Canterlot and you are in Ponyville, as long as we are both asleep."

Chuckling, Discord says, "Keep this up, Luna, and you'll be more absent-minded than little Miss Purple Smart here."

I take offense to that."Hey! Discord..."

He shrugs. "What? Everyone calls you that!"

I mean, I was offended by the claim of absent-mindedness, but I guess I can complain about that too. Scowling, I counter: "I have literally never heard anypony call me that before."

"I didn't say everypony..." he mutters.

"Enough!" Luna says. "Thank you for accepting my tutelage, Twilight. But I think for tonight?" she smiles. "We should enjoy the party, and worry about what comes tomorrow tomorrow."

"Great idea, Luna." I glance upwards, where Hayley's Comet can be seen bright against the night sky. "I wouldn't want to miss the comet tonight."

"And you've barely touched your tea," Luna says, looking down into my cup, before her eyes widen. Turning to Discord, she finds him sipping at his tea...which come to think of it, he seems to have had a lot of... "Discord."

Discord coughs mid-sip, and guiltily pours me another cup out of the second teapot Luna brought. 

"I hope you don't take offense to me not drinking this too much," I say, ears drooping. "I'd rather see the night sky when I'm trying to stargaze than a Zen garden."

"That would be strange, wouldn't it," Luna agrees. "Besides, it will be all the more for Discord."

Discord rolls his eyes, but raises the cup to his lips again. "I've really got to tell Fluttershy about this stuff."


After the party finishes at approximately 2 AM, me and Discord head back to the train to Ponyville. Luna walks over to the two of us and smiles. "I'll be seeing you tomorrow night, Twilight," she says, "I'm looking forward to discussing the fundamentals of dream magic with you this coming evening." 

"I'm just excited I get to spend the night with you!" I say, prancin--no, not prancing. Not at all. "Although, I'm not sure I'll be getting any sleep..." I'll be too excited about dream magic that I won't be able to sleep, and then I won't dream, and...

"...Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask Discord, who's looking incredulously at me over a pair of sunglasses. He just points at Luna. What's wrong? Oh, she looks a little warm. Must be the...no, it's cool out. Does she have a fever? 

"Twilight, ah, that phrasing," she coughs, "I know what you...well, you, you do know..."

I'm confused. What's going on? Why is Luna suddenly having a hard time speaking? Is she having a stroke? She looks feverish, her words are coming out stutteringly. One side of her face is twitching! But it's twitching up, not drooping...

I raise my eyebrows. "Luna, are you alright? Can you feel your left forehoof?"

She coughs again, and after looking at me and my confused expression, she smiles, and a glint comes into her eye. "Don't worry on my behalf, Twilight. I'm quite well." She gives Discord a side glance, and he grimaces, waving a paw. "I for one am happy you enjoy my presence so much. I do hope our session will leave you...satisfied." Luna smiles again. 

Discord just puts his hand to his forehead and stares blankly ahead.

Regardless of Discord's strange reaction, I nod excitedly. "There's so much to learn! Thank you again for agreeing to teach me!"

Discord doesn't change his expression at all, he just turns to face Luna, whose face is still red, but this time, it looks like she's holding her breath. Finally, she lets out a breath, and chuckles softly, shaking her head. "You're very welcome, Twilight. See you then." 

"You too!" I say, waving, and Discord and I hop on the train to take our seats.

I look apprehensively at Discord, who's taken a long coat out of his backpack and shoved his hands in the pockets, walking stiffly towards the nearest unoccupied bench.

I sit down across from him, quizzing him with a glance.

Discord  merely takes his sunglasses off and places his face in his palm. "Every single time. Every Single Time. It's like it's a running gag or something."

He seems to know something about what just happened that I seemed to miss... "Hey Discord?"

"Yeessss?" he says, not bothering to raise his head.

"Does Luna have a fever or something? Because she was acting pretty strange at the end there."

He deigns to separate face and hand, and stares at me, completely deadpan. "No. She was desperately and not entirely successfully holding back laughter."

"What? Why would she be laughing at me?" I wonder. "Was it something I said?" As Discord sighs, I go over the conversation in...my...

OH.

"You get it now, don't you?" Discord asks, leaning back in the seat. 

I just nod once and bury my now equally red face in my hooves.

"What was that I said earlier about the absent-mindedness?"

I don't even dignify that with a response.

He chuckles. "When I said I'd follow along with you on your mystery magic adventure, I never thought I'd get this much of a chaos payload. It's like watching a very purple firecracker be thrown into the middle of crowd of parasprite tamers."

"Discord, do me a favor and never mention this again."

"We'll see," he says, taking a sip from his teacup. "Have I mentioned that I really like this tea?"

I blanch. "Discord, is that Celestia's Pre-Equestrian Unification china that you have there? You know how Celestia is with her teasets."

Discord goes white as well. "Oh. Oh dear me. I...I can't believe I didn't think of that." 

We look at each other, eyes wide, before each of us gives a small chuckle. "Well," I say. "I think both of us made mistakes tonight."

"I don't disagree, Twilight, but I think I can break my contract just this once...after all," he winks, "it is for my continued animation." He snaps, and the cup disappears. "I even left a nice little note for her explaining my honest mistake. Oh," he says, crossing his arms. "Drat."

I raise an eyebrow. "What's wrong?"

"I forgot to finish the tea."