Fairlight - To the Edge of Midnight

by Bluespectre

Chapter Sixteen - Deus Vult

“He sleeps.”

“And for that I am relieved beyond words. However, I still cannot believe you brought him back here. You know what these things are capable of.”

“You think he could challenge one of us?”

“Of course not. He would not dare.”

“Truly? I wonder at that. I understand your reservations, love of my life, but this one could prove to be of particular use in the coming change of ages. History will soon be turning the page of a new era and we must be ready for it when it comes. Besides, I confess to being somewhat fascinated with this one. I would like to see more of what Fate has in store for our wayward child.”

“Your wayward child. You know how I feel about these kinds of creature.”

“My child? How quickly you forget, my love. Was he not made in your image?”

“He was. Before he became corrupted.”

“And that corruption has proven itself to be most… ‘entertaining’. Would you not agree?”

“Humph!”

“Shh! He is stirring. Come, let us leave and allow our child to take the first step on his new journey.”

“Must you always be so dramatic?”

“It is why you love me so much, peach of my orchard...”

I awoke to absolute silence, alone in my cell. If you could call it that. To my surprise I hadn’t been tortured, beaten, abused, nor mistreated in any form. They had in fact treated me with a level of decency that I never would have expected in the mortal realm. Even the magnanimous Princess Celestia’s cells beneath the palace in Canterlot, as clean as they had been, were unmistakably the kind of place a criminal would expect to be dumped prior to sentencing. Here, alone in this room of purest white, I sat on a bed of clean white linen with the smell of fresh lemons wafting in through the open window while the breeze played with the delicately embroidered curtains. In some respects this was harder on me than the rougher alternatives of filthy straw, rats, and stench. I lifted my head and stared around myself in amazement. It was so clean! If there was a word to describe it, it would be… ‘purity’. I nodded to myself, satisfied with my decision. Yes, ‘purity’ indeed. And yet here I was, the veritable dark stain on the otherwise flawless perfection of the artists blank canvas that visually ruined the piece completely. I couldn’t remember how I’d got here, other than the feeling of an impact, hard and heavy against my entire body. No pain though. No… no pain at all. Interesting. I reached up and felt my head, looking for any signs of trauma. Ah… a horn lock. What a surprise.

“You’re awake.”

I rubbed my head and flopped back on the bed, “Apparently.”

“You are unharmed?” the voice asked. It was a male by the sounds of it.

Tentatively I ran my hooves over my body. No evidence of lesions, breaks, burns, or any of the usual injuries I’d become used to when I was alive. Unfortunately being dead hadn’t been much of an improvement over my ability to experience unpleasant situations, as I’d discovered virtually from day one.

“Apparently,” I replied.

“You’re not feeling talkative I see,” the voice observed. “I should leave you.”

I rubbed my eyes and tried to focus on the stallion sitting across from me on the large wooden chair. He was bathed in the bright light from window, but I was just about able to make out the stallion’s red coat and relatively short stature. He had a pair of the most intensely piercing green eyes I had ever seen, and a short silver mane shot through with streaks of grey. His cutie mark was hidden beneath his navy blue cloak which was held in place with a simple silvered fibula. Upon his head he wore a tricorn hat trimmed in silver braid, and his overcoat was a heavy looking garment of blues and silvers, making him look like he’d dropped straight out of the pages of a history book. But if he left, if I let him walk away, then the silence would be absolute. The loneliness and emptiness waiting to swallow me whole would snatch me away into the dark pit of despair once again, and I had promised myself I would fight. Gods know how, but I had to. As hard as it was, and as much as I wanted to surrender to the helplessness of my plight… I didn’t want to be alone.

“Wait. Please.” I held out a hoof to him, “I’m sorry, I… I’m a little… Oh, gods, what the hell is going on? What is this place?”

“I can answer one of those questions, Sir,” the stallion replied pleasantly. “You are in the royal palace, in a room kept for guests who have… problems. Like you.”

“Ah.” I flopped back on the pillow with a sarcastic laugh. “Oh, I’m a problem alright. Every ponies bloody problem apparently.”

The stallion smiled, “A young lady once told me that a problem is only a solution waiting to be deciphered.”

“Very profound,” I groaned. “A hopeless optimist your young lady by the sounds of it.”

“Perhaps, Sir.” The stallion cocked his head on one side, watching me with those peculiar eyes of his, “Although I have always been of the belief that as much as a lady may feel inclined to proffer her opinions as factually correct, a stallion is under no obligation to either agree with nor act upon said opinion. Naturally, one would balance this belief by keeping ones own opinion on the subject to oneself.”

“If you value your knackers,” I smiled.

“Naturally, Sir.”

There was something about this stallion that niggled at the back of my mind, “You remind me of somepony.” I pushed myself upright once more and rubbed my eyes. Why the hell couldn’t I concentrate on anything? “Forgive me,” I apologised to my cell mate, “my mind is a little unfocussed at the minute.”

“The effects of the hornlock I’m afraid,” the stallion observed. “Perhaps a drink will help perk sir’s spirits?” The stallion reached into the cupboard beside him. A cupboard that hadn’t been there a moment before. Was I imagining things? “A gin and tonic should be just the ticket. Ice and a slice, Sir?”

“Ice…? Oh, er, yes please.” I squeezed my eyes shut and ran my hoof over the hornlock. “Damned thing...”

“I understand the hornlock is there because of your spirit derived magics, Master Fairlight, sir.” The stallion floated the glass over to me and clucked his tongue when I fumbled for it with my hooves. “Ah, forgive me. It’s easy to overlook the way the lock removes a unicorn’s telekinetic powers as well as any more complex spell craft.”

“All my magic...” I sighed, “Bloody marvellous.” Carefully I tried again, taking the drink up in my hooves and trying not to crack the delicate glass. “I’m a bit out of practice. More used to swords and spears than glassware these days.”

“Being a little rough around the edges is a stallion’s prerogative, Sir.” The stallion smiled thinly, “Any gem can be polished until it shines as brightly as the sun.”

“Or as keenly as a blade,” I observed.

The red stallion sat and watched me quietly as I took another sip of my gin and tonic. His green eyes were certainly familiar, and it was driving me mad what his-

“Jelly Bean, Sir.”

“What?” I nearly dropped the glass, “Good grief, of course! How the hell could I forget that?” I felt a wave of relief flush through me from nose to tail. A familiar face was just what I needed. But what in Equestria was he doing here? I leaned towards him, “Gods, J.B, what are you in for?”

“In for?” He looked confused for a second before lifting a hoof up to dispel my misunderstanding. “Oh! You misunderstand, Sir. I am here at the palace’s behest to perform my barbering duties. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“And you’re in a criminal’s cell with scissors and all the other tools your trade, yes?” I lifted an eyebrow quizzically, “Doesn’t that concern you in any way, my friend?”

“That all depends on you, Sir,” Jelly Bean replied pleasantly. “Do you intend to use me as a means to escape? Perhaps as a hostage as you fight your way through the palace?”

“It’s a possibility,” I replied a little more sarcastically than I intended. I shrugged it off, “If I ruminate on the possibilities, it’s certainly one of the options I have open to me.”

“And what would you do then?” the red stallion asked.

I finished my drink with a final sip, savouring the tangy taste of the gin, tonic, and fresh lime. “I have no idea.” Letting out a long sigh, I flopped back on the bed and held my hoof up to the sunlight. “Maybe I’ll just wait here and see what happens next.”

“They may take away your freedom,” Jelly Bean noted unnecessarily. He seemed confused by relaxed demeanour so I decided to oblige him.

“Nah, freedom’s overrated as far as I’m concerned, J.B,” I said with a sardonic grin. “With it comes the freedom to make the wrong choices, the freedom to hurt those you love, and the freedom to destroy your own life. Or give others the means to do it for you. Nope,” I examined my hoof, turning it this way and that, noting how the sunlight emphasised the faint variations in the hoof wall. “Sometimes it’s better to have somepony do all of that for you so you can just plod along for the rest of your days doing as you’re told without having to worry about whether you made the right choices in your life.”

“A pragmatic solution, Sir,” Jelly Bean nodded. “However, and forgive me for questioning your position, would this not remove an individual’s ability to plan, and thusly alter the course of their life to one that was more conducive to a productive and worthwhile existence? One would become little more than a slave in all but name, bound by their own subservience to another and devoid of all passion, self determination, and motivation.”

“It’s called being married,” I snorted.

“Married?” Jelly Bean frowned and then abruptly erupted in a deep throaty laugh that was so deep and resonant it made the ice tinkle in my glass. “I believe I can relate, Sir. I believe I can.”

“You’re married?” I asked.

The red stallion nodded, “I am, and I have two beautiful daughters as a result.”

I snorted, feeling a smile tugging at my lips, “Sheesh, three females! A bit out numbered there, J.B.”

“True. True.” He peered up at me from under his hat as he rummaged in his bag, “And you sir?”

“Two youngsters. A colt and a filly.” I laughed mirthlessly, “One’s here in the herd with her mum and my boy’s in the mortal realm with his mother and...” I sighed, “My other mare.”

“Ah. I was of the understanding you have a small herd, Sir.” Jelly Bean smiled gently, “Am I correct?”

I nodded. I don’t why I always told ponies about my ‘other mares’, but my habit of letting my guard down around those I felt comfortable with had never quite left me. “Don’t ask me how it happened, J.B,” I said, “I’m not even sure myself.”

“Rather like my marriage then.” Jelly Bean’s monotone voice was like the echo of my own heart, and the two of us filled the small room with our laughter.

Despite my resignation at the situation I found myself in, I actually felt myself beginning to relax. I was quite enjoying the company of the enigmatic barber, before he announced, “I believe you’re in need of a trim, Sir.” He nodded to himself as he pulled his pannier open, “Your mane and tails have grown out somewhat since last we met, and your hoof needs attention.”

“My hoof?” I stared at the barely noticeable crack in my fore hoof. “How in Equestria did you see that?!”

“A trained eye can see much more than some may expect, Sir.” The red stallion pulled his chair over and set up a portable hoof stand. Moments later, the filing and sanding began.

“You haven’t asked why I’m in here,” I said conversationally. “Aren’t you curious, or have they already told you?”

Jelly Bean blew the dust from my hoof and inspected it. Carefully, he replaced his file with a finer toothed one and began to work the edges. “I believe sir has been accused of bringing a child of the people into the land of the eternal herd. An act that has caused some consternation amongst the senior council.”

He was tactful, I’ll give him that. “I don’t know about the council,” I said honestly, “but yes… I did bring a thestral foal into the herd.”

“May I ask why, Sir?” Jelly Bean asked. “Such a thing is unusual, is it not?”

“So is murder, J.B.” I watched as the stallion put down his file and brought out a pad wrapped in fine sanding paper. “I spent most of my adult life protecting those who couldn’t protect themselves. It didn’t matter whether they were rich, poor, mares, stallions, colts or fillies. It was a job that I took a pride in, and because… it was the right thing to do.” I took a breath. “I may be many things,” I continued, “but a murderer, I am not.”

“I understand, Sir.”

“Ha! Then you’re a better stallion than I, J.B.”

“Sir?”

“I’m a fool.” I closed my eyes, focussing on the sanding and polishing and the smell of hoof oil, “I always have been. I joined the watch which put my family at risk and they paid the price for that foolishness. And what do I do when I arrive in the herd? I join the royal bloody guard to ‘help’ recover lost souls.”

“A noble aim, Sir,” Jelly Bean offered.

“It is,” I agreed. “But they conveniently omitted to tell me that I would be murdering children as part of my job role.” I huffed bitterly, “I guess it was under the heading of ‘Any other duties as required’. Bastards.”

The stallion continued his work. “Did they not explain their reasons to you, Sir?”

“Oh, the lieutenant gave me some half-arsed explanation alright, but he didn’t really know himself. ‘Orders from the royal family’ or some such crap.” I laughed bitterly, “I’m sure if you asked a thestral why the Legion had invaded Equestria he would have given a similar reason.”

“Soldiers follow orders,” Jelly Bean reasoned. “To refuse is not always an option when one considers the ramifications for refusal.”

“I know that,” I sighed. “But even a soldier would have to question the morality of slaughtering an innocent simply because of a decree from the ivory bloody tower. At least thestrals have a code of honour, even if it is about as understandable as knitting fog.”

Jelly Bean paused, “You seem to know more about thestrals than most ponies. Do they not frighten you?”

“Hardly!” I laughed. “I’ve lived with them. For a while anyway. As warlike as they are they’re not a race of ruthless murderers who go around killing everything in sight as history would have us believe. As I said, they have a strong sense of honour and they’ve pulled my fat out of the fire on more than one occasion.” I lifted my other hoof for Jelly Bean to work on, “They’re strange to look at when you’re not used to them, but they have a particular grace and beauty about them which I’ve learned to appreciate. Now I see them the same way as a I do any other equine. All living things have value, J.B.”

Jelly Bean nodded, “Forgive me for saying, Sir, but would I be right in assuming you have an affinity with these… thestrals?”

“An affinity?” I pondered that for a moment, “I suppose you could call it that, but no more than any other pony who treated them as an equal. I’ll admit there’s a lot of thestrals who look down on ‘Celestians’ as they like to call us, and treat us with suspicion and even distrust, but are we really any better? Thestrals have been all but wiped from our history books, and the few that remain refer to them as these dragon-like monsters that eat babies and burn families alive in their homes.”

Jelly Bean nodded slowly before motioning to me to flip over so he could work on my hind hooves, “The thestrals are aware of the foals being killed are they, Sir?”

“Oh, yes,” I nodded grimly. I could feel my forelegs tensing as the memory of Glimmer’s comment about Shade replayed through my mind. “Some of them, the ones the royal guard haven’t butchered, arrive in the Darklands only to be killed by their own people.”

“But not all?” the barber asked.

“No.” Shadow’s face floated into my memory, her red eyes burning with that intense inner light that warmed my heart every time I saw her. “No. Not all. But the loss of even one child is another nail in the coffin of the thestral people. The irony is that they’re helping bring about their own extinction.”

“Perhaps some believe that it is simply a part of the natural order of the universe,” my cell mate offered. “Thestrals walked the land long before ponies came into being. Maybe their time has merely passed, and what we are seeing is the concluding days of a process begun long ago.”

I sat up, snatching my hoof away and locked eyes with him, “Does that mean they should be treated the way they are?” I could feel my anger smouldering deep down, “Snatched from their home land, dumped into a world of eternal twilight, and then to have their children butchered? Gods in their bucking heaven, J.B, what sort of deities have we got with their obsession with genocide? Celestia massacred the wendigo, and her father, if the thestral legends are true, wiped the very race he created himself from the face of the bloody planet! Oh sure, he made a new home for them. How bloody magnanimous of him! Yeah, shove them into some lethal shithole and let them die out so he doesn’t have to concern himself with them any more. Bugger me, it’s like some foal with a hamster who loses interest, gets fed up feeding the thing, and ends up letting it starve to death. Then the parents come in, chuck the body down the lavvy and it’s ‘That’s okay dear, we’ll go and buy you another one tomorrow. Only this time, it’ll be more like what you ‘really’ want, okay?’” I took a breath and tried to rein my bitterness in. Jelly Bean didn’t want to hear this, and it wasn’t his fault that the world was the bucked up mess it was. “I’m sorry, J.B, I shouldn’t be going on like this to you. You’ve only ever shown me kindness, and now I’m ranting like some drunkard on a Friday night.”

“There’s nothing to apologise for, Sir,” he replied. “The workings of the universe are beyond the comprehension of even the most open minded amongst us.”

“Huh, you got that right.” I got down off the bed and Jelly Bean began to smooth out my coat with a stiff brush. “You know what I can’t understand about all of this, J.B? It’s that the gods allow this. They permit, no… sanction foals to be killed and hide it all away from the public. Oh sure, they want to ‘protect’ ponies from the ‘trauma’ of seeing scary looking thestral foals once in a blue moon, but what about the pain it’s causing the ponies who have to do their dirty work for them? What sort of damage does the killing of a child do to a fellows mind? Bloody hell, it’s no wonder they’re allowed to get roaring drunk in the barracks. It’s to numb them from the horror of what they’re doing!” I rammed my forehooves into the bed. My eyes were stinging, my heart hammering hard in my chest. “We haven’t got gods in charge of our world, J.B, we’ve got monsters. Monsters far worse than any wendigo or thestral.”

The red stallion paused. I could tell from his eyes that I’d gone too far, and doubtless angered the poor fellow. Many ponies worshipped the gods and goddesses both in the herd and the mortal ream, and who could blame them? You couldn’t go five minutes in Equestria without falling over pictures or statues of Celestia or Luna. Their faces were on the currency for bucks sake! It was the same here in the herd, although the representations of the royal sisters parents were probably a bit more, shall we say, loosely defined? I’d only ever seen them at a distance and even then you’d need binoculars to make out anything other than the fact they had four legs, a head, and that was about your lot. Meadow had explained that this was to add to the whole ‘mythos and majesty of the divines’. Personally I thought it was a lot of bunkum. What, the gods are worried in case somepony gazes upon their glorious countenance and turns to stone or something? What a load of bollocks!

“I see.” Jelly Bean hung his head a moment before continuing with his work on my coat. “And yet these ‘monsters’ have gifted their children with a home where they can have everything they want and be able to live in safety for as long as they wish.”

I smiled grimly, hanging my head in shame, “I’ve offended you.”

The red stallion began the long process of snipping away the feathering on my legs, “No, Sir. I merely question how the gods could be considered monsters when they love their children.”

“You’re right, J.B,” I said softly. “The eternal herd truly is the heaven promised to us all, and for that I am as grateful and humble as the next pony. And what parent wouldn’t want their children to have a future of happiness and love, free from suffering and pain?” I closed my eyes, “I only wish they had enough of that love to share with all of their children. Pony, wendigo, or thestral… After all, we’re all the children of the gods.”

Jelly Bean said nothing. I stood and left him to his work, listening to the snip, snip, snip of the scissors. Normally when I went to the barbers the pony cutting my mane or trimming my coat never shut up. When I was a watchstallion they were a veritable mine of information, and one I used regularly during my investigations. To have my coat trimmed by a barber who had gone utterly silent was unsettling to say the least. We all knew about the murders on Saddle Row by the razor wielding lunatic who stuffed ponies into pies. The sick swine used to adorn the top of the pie with a pastry representation of his victim’s cutie mark too. It was only when the wife of a missing stallion happened upon the bakery and bought a pie for her griffin friend that she recognised the cutie mark on the top, and we got the break we needed. After that, the pie shop, and the barbers, went out of business. Permanently. That said, I didn’t seriously think old Jelly Bean here was likely to slit my throat and stuff me into a pie filling any time soon, but upsetting him any more than I already had was not something I should be doing. And so, I did what I probably should have done in the first place; I kept my big mouth shut.

Well, I’ll say one thing, it certainly brought back memories. The first time I’d met J.B had been in the local pub where I’d sat and had a pint or two with a crazy mare, a dimwitted love struck stallion who later tried to kill me, and me with my head stuck down the toilet. My head had been a mess to begin with anyway. All those disjointed memories, the endless misery of doctors poking me while shrinks tried to work out how mad I had become. What I had become in actual fact was quite simple: I was miserable. I was a broken stallion whose home life was crumbling down around his ears and I was so far gone I never even noticed what it was doing to my marriage until it was too late. Oh, I’d known things weren’t going well between us of course, I’d have had to have been blind to have missed those, but I’d always thought that we could fix anything together if we tried hard enough. We’d been through hell together, Meadow and I. But this… This couldn’t be fixed. No magic in the world, nor the power of the gods themselves, could mend a broken heart. Or replace the love that had bloomed so brightly only to wither and die in the land where dreams were made.

“Have you given up?”

I came round to myself with a start, “I’m sorry?”

“I asked if you had given up, Sir.” The red stallion carefully slipped his scissors back into the roll of tools and looked up at me, “You realise what I am asking you, don’t you?”

I blinked in surprise, “I’m… not sure I do.”

The last strap was tightened on the roll and the whole placed back into the large bag as Jelly Bean spoke, “Life is a struggle, Sir. You know this, probably better than most. Ponies strive every day to realise the many desires we all have in our hearts, be it wealth, fame, love, happiness - it doesn’t matter. And yet even though they may accomplish so much in the short time they have in the mortal realm, when their life has run its course all those wondrous things will be left behind as no more than a silent echo of who they once were. It is here, in the light of the eternal herd, where everypony can start anew. A fresh page in a new diary of possibilities.” Jelly Bean hefted his bag onto his back. “You have seen things no pony should ever had witnessed or experienced. And yet despite all odds you have fought back and now stand at the fork in the road. All that remains is to decide which path to take.”

“What path?” I gave myself a shake, dislodging some of the loose hair from my coat trimming. “I don’t have a path, Jelly Bean,” I pointed out to my red coated friend. “I’m in a cell in the royal palace. A very nicely appointed cell, true, but a cell nonetheless. And as you know yourself, I have royally pissed off the very ponies who could snuff out my existence with little more than a thought. I’m grateful for the work you’ve done for me, my friend, but unfortunately all you’ve done is make me look nice for my executioner. Live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse, eh?”

Jelly Bean closed his eyes and nodded knowingly, “Tell me, Sir; if you were to leave here now, what would you choose?”

“Choose?” I guffawed. “I would ‘choose’ to get the buck out of here and try to stop a certain somepony from causing suffering to others because of some grand illusion he has of a utopian future.”

“You would not choose the king’s justice?” J.B asked.

“King’s justice? Is that what they call it here, is it? I think we both know where that would lead!” I remarked sarcastically. “Being reborn with your mind a clean slate may be tempting to some of the old buggers who’ve been here since time began, but I’m not that far gone yet I don’t think.”

The red stallion smiled, “I’m pleased to hear it.” Slowly he adjusted his packs and reached for the door. “Sir? One last thing.”

I flicked my tail, pleased with the way it flowed. “Yes?”

“Shadow.” Jelly Bean’s expression gave me pause. He looked sad… lost even. “Do you love her?”

“Shadow?” I didn’t recall mentioning her to him, but considering the state I’d been in when we’d first met I must have done. “Yes,” I replied honestly, “I love her. More than I could ever express in words.”

“She is a thestral, yes?”

“With the fiery eyes, bony frame, teeth that could bite through steel girders and the whole lightning thing?” I grinned, “What’s not to like in a girl with all those homely attributes?” I waved a hoof dismissively, “It doesn’t matter now anyway. She’s in the mortal realm, I’m dead, and my ‘future’ is looking like it will be coming to a rather abrupt halt all too soon.”

Jelly Bean frowned in what appeared to be genuine surprise, “Why is that?”

I had a double take. He couldn’t be that stupid, could he? “Why-? Hello? I’m in a cell?”

The stallion’s expression became as still as a mill pond. I wasn’t sure what was going on behind those bright green eyes, but I’d always had the impression this former architect of the empire was more than he appeared. “Perhaps the cell is only in your own mind, Sir,” he suggested.

I rubbed my horn a little irritably, catching that damned hornlock in the process, “I’m sorry, J.B, but what the hell are you talking about?”

The red stallion stood to one side and with a flick of his hoof, pushed the door open, revealing the light beyond. “The way ahead was always yours to take, Fairlight. The path you choose now will be the one that determines your fate, and that of those whom you hold most dear. You hold the key to the destiny of far more than you could ever realise.”

“J.B, I’m not into riddles,” I huffed, “can’t you-” I looked up in amazement. At first I thought I was seeing things, but no… no, the door really was open! Hurriedly I stood up and made for the opening to freedom, to escape from this room of bright sunlight, birds singing, and… safety. Safety? Jelly Bean watched me like some large red cat dozing in the summer sunlight on the windowsill. I looked away and stared through the door into a scene that made my blood chill. It was a forest, but not one like any I had ever seen before. Rather than trees of wood as one would find in Equestria, or the crystal trees of the Darklands, here was a dense mass of tall thin green stems that looked more like poles that trunks. Long thin leaves shushed in the breeze high above as strange birds called to one another in the distance. Throughout it all the loud buzzing sound of cicadas permeated the forest, suggestive of a land of heat and humidity. Llamalia? Certainly not Yak Yakistan. I just stood there, my legs frozen.

“You stand on the threshold, Fairlight,” Jelly Bean intoned. “Stay here and accept the judgement of the king, or step into the unknown.” His eyes sparkled like emeralds. “It is time, my son, for you to choose.”

“Choose...” I looked back over my shoulder into those bottomless green eyes. “Who are you?”

“A guide,” Jelly Bean smiled softly. “But I can only take you so far on your journey. It is you alone who can make the choices that will determine your future. Nopony else.”

“The future of a dead pony,” I whispered half to myself.

“Death is not the end, Fairlight,” Jelly Bean said confidently. He raised an eyebrow knowingly, “Nor can it be. Without death there can be no birth, and without birth there can be no hope. Hope is what drives the wheels of existence, and what has sustained you throughout all your trials.”

Hope. Yeah, sure. I was always one step away from teetering into the black pit of depression and utter despair, constantly fighting against that part of me that wanted nothing more than to just give up and go to sleep. I wanted to continue on, I really did. But it was so hard! Gods, all I’d ever wanted was to be left alone to live my life in peace with the ones I loved. And it had been taken away from me. It had all been taken away from me. What was left of all those innocent hopes and dreams now? Nothing. Nothing but emptiness and the bottomless pit of soul destroying despair. I had been left here, standing alone amongst the still warm ashes and dust of what had once been the budding promise of a bright future for my beloved Meadow and I. With a foal on the way and a good career that paid just enough to help pay my way in life, our future together should have been assured. But no… no, it all had to be stopped, taken away, and destroyed. And why? Because I had dared… dared to have a dream. And worse… I’d been happy.

A hoof on my shoulder made me look up into the stallion’s eyes. “You can be again, Fairlight,” Jelly Bean said softly as if reading my mind. “Never give up hope, and never stop believing in your own self worth. You are so much more than you think you are. You only need tap into your potential to let the river flow freely once more.”

“I don’t think I’ll be letting any river flow with this thing on my head,” I huffed, tapping the hornlock. “They need a particular magical key to remove and-”

Jelly Bean’s hoof stopped me mid-sentence, “I’ll show you a trick.” He gave me a wink, “Cover your nose with your hooves, close your mouth...”

With nothing to lose I did as he said. “Mmhmm?”

“And… Blow.”

It was the sort of thing you did when you tried to stifle a sneeze in public. I could feel my ears pop, along with that peculiar hissing sound you get when you have water in your ears. What in Equestria this was supposed to do was beyond me. In fact it struck me as the kind of trick I can imagine a foal- “Oh, my gods!” I gasped aloud as the feeling of pressure abruptly gave way to a sensation of release, followed almost immediately afterwards by the metallic tinkle of the hornlock dropping to the floor. “How did you…?” I shook my head in amazement. “All this time, that’s all I needed to do?!”

“There’s a trick to everything, my son,” Jelly Bean chuckled throatily. “Now, come along, you have to choose.”

“Stay or go, huh?” I stared at the room, the door, and the peculiar forest beyond. Like I had a choice, eh? Ha! I’d made my mind up as soon as the door opened. Carefully I took a step forward as a strange sense of weight on my back pulled me up short. I looked round. “My stuff!” I exclaimed. Dear gods, it was all there! My barding, my packs, even my scythe, crossbow and dagger! “How the hell did you do that?” I gasped.

“Oh, just a little magic is all,” Jelly Bean winked cheekily.

I smiled as I turned once more for the door and paused, “Can I ask one last thing before I go?”

“Of course.”

I took a deep breath. It was worth a try… “Will the killing of foals stop?” I asked.

The red stallion stood as still as a statue, his voice taking on a harder tone than I’d heard from him before. He only said one word, “Yes.”

I closed my eyes and smiled, “Thank you.” A flush of relief tingled through body from my hooves to my ears. Hope… Maybe it really did exist after all. I gave myself a hard shake and tossed my mane. “Take care, J.B.”

“Take care, Sir.” The strange stallion watched me quietly, the sparkling light from the forest reflected in his fathomless eyes. “The blessings of the gods go with you.”

Somehow, I felt he actually meant it too. And lets face it, a little divine assistance never hurt anypony.

*

Bamboo. Interesting stuff, and hard too. I hadn’t recognised it at first as it doesn’t grow anywhere in Equestria so far as I knew. And in any case the bamboo I had seen was yellow, not green. Maybe it turned yellow when harvested, who could say? I’d seen it made into furniture such as chairs and fancy shelves and so forth a few times. One of the shops on twenty fifth avenue sold exotic furniture, and bamboo featured prominently. As did the prices! Bloody hell, I’d fancied buying a few pieces for home until I found out that the ‘stock code’ on the label was actually the selling price. A museum I visited years ago when I’d first moved to Manehattan had spears that had been made in bamboo too, and one of the old veterans who worked there had told me that it was the best material for making them. It was strong yet flexible, and it didn’t shatter on impact like wood was prone to do. Gods, I can still remember the way the mare who was stood beside us at the time turned pale as the old fellow talked about fighting monsters on the northern border. Her colts on the other hoof were absolutely fascinated and hung on the old soldier’s every word, until mum ushered them away like some protective mother hen. I got the distinct impression that the old veteran didn’t have many opportunities to tell his tale, and I wasn’t surprised either. Stories of war, fighting and death were not exactly prevalent in equestrian society, and I felt honoured to have spoken to him when I did. As fate would have it, the next time I called in to the museum one of the staff recognised me and said the veteran had been taken ill and had to be rushed to the general hospital. That night after work I’d made a point of stopping by to see him, but I was too late. Meadow had been on duty that night and told me the old fellow had passed away shortly after arriving. But the saddest part for me was the sheer loneliness of the whole scene. I will never forget the peculiar silence of that hospital room with the unmoving shape under the covers that I’d only been speaking to a scant few days before. It felt unnaturally cold. Empty. And that never really left me. There were no visitors to mourn him either. No family. Nopony at all to say goodbye. Meadow told me that he had died with no known relatives, and the only ones who knew he was there other than his co-workers from the museum were his old army buddies. I went to the funeral, as did the staff from his old workplace who’d closed up for the day out of respect. There was a hoofful of veterans there who looked as old as the hills, and watching them and their silent expressions as they watched the cremated remains of their comrade being lowered into the ground, reminded me of the fragility of life more than anything I’d ever experienced previously. Sudden deaths were one thing when you worked in the watch. I didn’t know who they were. I hadn’t met them nor talked to them. They were, for all intents and purposes, just an empty husk that had once been a life. To me it was work, and I kept that as separate from my personal life as I could. But this old soldier, this veteran, was different. We’d talked, joked together, and I had looked forward to going back to hear more of his experiences and stories of life on the frontier. And then, as quickly as I had met him, he’d gone. Ridge Tile was his name. He’d been a roofer, not unsurprisingly, when he’d been younger. But along comes young love, a broken heart, and it’s off to the border to forget. Some might do that for a few years, but not Ridge Tile. He’d stayed, and it was only when he was so old he couldn’t climb ladders any more that they’d pensioned him off to the veterans institute in Manehattan. From there they’d plonked him into the museum with other worn out defenders of the ‘Pax Equestria’, where he would gradually become just another fading relic of a job that nopony cared a damn about.

Poor old sod.

I had to hoof it Jelly Bean though, he’d thought of everything. I had a rain cape, a set of camping utensils, food, water, and even some wine. All of this was in addition to my own bits and pieces that were neatly strapped to my back. It was a bit damp here and there though, despite the general warmth of the forest. The bamboo kept the sun from my head and causing me to become too hot, but it didn’t do much to keep the rain off. I’d been walking for about a day now with the odd snooze to recharge the old Fairlight batteries. Exactly ‘why’ I was here was a mystery that had yet to unfold, although I’m sure it would in the fullness of time. I expect it was probably part of some ‘greater cosmic plan’ or some such bollocks. Personally, I couldn’t care less. All I’d wanted was to get the hell out of that cell, mysterious barbers or no. I huffed under my breath. Barber? Ha! Yeah, right. He wasn’t fooling anypony. I was still chuckling to myself when the sound of running water nearby caught my attention. My water flask was running a little low, and a refill certainly wouldn’t go amiss. The path I was following, or ‘dirt track’ as I should more realistically have called it, lead me along to where I could just make out the telltale sparkling of a river through the edge of the bamboo forest. I picked up my pace. I’d find a handy rock to sit on, and maybe indulge in a little fishing too. I had some stuff I could use to make a rudimentary-

Somepony was there.

I quickly ducked down and stayed absolutely still. Friend or foe, I had no intention of barging into them to find out. Keeping quiet was the order of the day. Plus, I could have a cheeky nose into their conversation…

“… and do you know what they called me?” It was a mare’s voice, and one that sounded oddly familiar too. “Stoic! Bloody stoic!” The voice sounded angry, and was accompanied by a huffing that spoke volumes about the speaker’s temper right then. “Can you believe that?” she continued. “How could somepony write such a thing?!”

A male voice now, “I believe it refers to someone who does not openly express emotion in adverse conditions.”

“I know that! You don’t have to quote the dictionary definition at me. Gods!” The mare snorted loudly, “It makes me sound like some old mare who’s so stiff you could use her as a bloody ironing board.”

“It’s only an article in the paper, love,” the male reasoned calmly. “Ponies will forget about it in a day or two. You’ll see.”

“Ho, yes, I’m sure they will!” the mare snorted. “Luna nearly wet herself when she read that article, and I can hear the staff talking about it behind their hooves when they think I’m out of earshot. They must think I’m deaf as well as batty! Maybe even senile!”

There was a rustle of paper, “Here, let me read it.” I waited patiently as the male read before finally speaking, “It says that following the attack on the palace and upon your royal personage, you have shown yourself to be stoic and resolute in the face of true adversity.”

“And let’s not forget weak too!” the mare rumbled. “I know what they’re all thinking; that I’m past it, that I’m weak and a pushover for any would be bully who fancies a shot at the throne!”

“You’re reading too much into it,” the stallion replied.

“Am I now?” The mare nickered. “I think I’ve done more than enough ‘reading’ lately thank you very much, so I know damned well how much I ‘read into things’. Damn it, Rush, can’t you take my side for once?!”

There was a long pause before the male, ‘Rush’ apparently, replied, “I am on your side, Tia. I never left it.”

“But you did!” the mare retorted suddenly. “You did leave my side!” There was a crunch of twigs and leaves, “You… you left me… all alone.”

I tried to see through the bushes and I could just about make out the male, a brown earth stallion, leaning down to the white mare.

“I know, love. But all the magic in the world couldn’t turn back time.”

The mare closed her eyes, her voice quavering. “Father offered you-”

“I know what he offered me,” the male cut in gently but firmly, “but I’d already spent a lifetime in a body that wasn’t my own. I’m not going to change that now.” He shook his head, “Not now.”

“You could come home with me!” the white mare replied. “You don’t have to-”

“Tia, please...” The stallion let out a long sigh, “Please, you know why. We’ve talked about this time and time again. Here we can be together in peace, far away from all the politicking and intrigues of the court. We can be together whenever we want.”

“Whenever we want...” The white mare’s voice faded. She sounded utterly defeated, like the very weight of the world was on her pristine white shoulders. “Do I ask for too much? To want you with me by my side to support me? To be there to hold when I need your love? If you’d been there when those changelings attacked, I… I might have...”

“I know.” The brown stallion reached out a hoof to her, “I’m sorry love.” Gently, lovingly, he took her in his embrace and pulled the snow white mare with the purple eyes to his chest. “One day, when they are ready for me, I’ll come to you.”

There was a loud sniff, “You’d better.” The mare closed her eyes and wiped away a tear, “I hate the way the people keep calling me the ‘virgin princess’ all the time, Rush. They seem to think I’m this untouchable object of worship who can never so much as even look at another living soul for fear of shattering into a million pieces and plunging the land into darkness. Gods, even the staff treat me like I’m some fragile old maid made of glass!”

“You’re not.” Rush shook his head, a glint in his big eyes, “You’re made of the land and the strength of the mountains, the cold beauty of the sky, the gentleness and power of the sea, and the raw energy of the universe itself. But most of all you’re the mare I love, Tia, and to me that is more important than all the gods and goddesses in the heavens.”

There was a throaty chuckle, “You still think like a human sometimes, don’t you.”

“Old habits die hard I was always told.” Rush lightly brushed his muzzle against the mare’s, “And I have some other bad habits too.” His voice dropped to a whisper, “Very bad habits.”

“Mmhmm!” the mare giggled coquettishly. “Well then, Mister Rush, we’d better see what we can do about them then, hadn’t we...”

I couldn’t watch any more, and really I shouldn’t have been watching in the first place. Unfortunately I was now in the distinctly unenviable position whereby if I moved I would attract unwanted attention, and worse still, I could hear every single blasted sound coming from the couple as they went at each other like rutting warthogs. Dear gods, the noise from them! Whooping and laughing quickly turned into gasping, shrieking, neighing, and… and other noises too! Horribly I could feel the impacts through the ground, the vibrations causing even the leaves to shake in the bushes. I covered my eyes and ears the best I could, but it wasn’t enough. It was nowhere near enough! I don’t know how long it lasted, but eventually the couple flopped on the ground beside each other utterly exhausted.

“Must you go so soon?” Rush asked wearily.

‘Tia’ blew her mane from her eyes, “I have to, love. I have another court to hold for the Marquis de Salisbury and a representative from the Yakistan consulate.” The mare leaned forward and kissed him with such tenderness it made my heart ache. “I’ll be back tonight, so make sure you have the bed made up this time, lazy!”

The brown stallion huffed, “Yes, Dearest.”

A quick nip on the rump made him squeak in surprise, and in a flurry of wings and legs the white mare was up on her hooves. “See you later, love. I’ll pick up some of the lemon drizzle seed cake from the bakers on the way.” I kept my head down as the tall creature trotted past me onto the road. And stopped. My heart felt like it was going to burst of my chest as she spoke...

“Did you like what you saw?”

I said nothing, keeping as still and quiet as a mouse.

“I don’t mind really,” she whispered, “but do try to keep this to yourself. I would absolutely hate for anything to spoil all the work we’ve put into mending our relationship. Yes?”

I nodded.

She patted me on the head, “Good boy.”

“Tia?” Rush called. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes, love!” The white mare shouted happily and waved a hoof at her lover, “Better get the kettle on, you have a guest. I’ll send him over. The poor fellow looks a bit lost!” She leaned down and gave me a pat on the rump, “Ta-ta!” A flash of magic, an intensely itching horn, and she was gone.

“Dear goddesses,” I murmured. “That was-”

“Celestia?” I nearly shot out of my hide as the brown earth stallion appeared beside me extending a hoof in greeting, “Rush,” he said pleasantly. “And you are?”

“Um… Fairlight. Pleased to meet you,” I replied as he helped me out of the bushes.

“You look like a fellow on a serious journey,” the stallion noted taking in my armour and packs. “Do you have time to stop for a cup of tea?”

“Always,” I smiled brushing off the lead litter from my cloak. Before I knew it I was trotting after my new acquaintance up the hard earth track and deeper into the bamboo forest.

Rush’s home was a surprisingly plain affair for a pony who was quite obviously intimately involved with the ruler of Equestria. It sat nestled in a cleared area of bamboo, with what appeared to be a workshop, storage sheds, and various other features of what I would have normally classed as a farm house or craftspony’s home. Yet as rustic as it looked, the owner had clearly still taken the time to create a garden the likes of which I never would have expected to see outside of the royal botanical gardens. It was, to put it mildly, stunningly beautiful. There was no other word to describe it. Rocks sat like tiny islands amongst a shall pond which was fed from a small waterfall. Large colourful fish glided beneath the water lilies that looked like they had been placed there by nature itself rather than mortal hooves. Moss grew everywhere like a carpet of purest green below perfectly manicured trees. And if there was one thing, one sensation that I could say in all honesty that it evoked, it would be… ‘peace’. Beside it the house-cum-cottage oddly seemed at home here, rather than standing out as a crude structure beside such natural magnificence. Rough cut logs and planks formed the walls, and the roof was comprised of a surprisingly thick thatch that had been neatly cut and formed into an equally unusually steep pitch, at least by equestrian standards. A smart layer of plaster had been sparingly applied over the outside walls, but left unpainted, allowing it to blend softly into the surrounding wood and thatch. Instead of glass in the windows there were heavy looking shutters – a stark contrast to the quaint ideals of your more typical equestrian abode. Especially in the herd.

Rush lead me into the porch area, motioning to a set of slippers, a bucket, and a selection of brushes. I looked at him in puzzlement.

“Ah, forgive me,” Rush bowed apologetically. “Where I am from people clean their feet when entering a house. It’s part tradition,” he shrugged, “but it helps keep the tatami mats from being soiled.” He pointed to the slippers. “There’s a set there which should be your size.”

I nodded, emulating his bow a little shakily, “Um… sure.” I followed Rush’s lead and cleaned my hooves, drying them off with the provided towel and slipped on the comfortable hoof ware. “You have a beautiful home here, Rush,” I offered.

“Thank you,” he said with another bob of his head. “You’re too kind.”

I felt a touch embarrassed and felt myself emulating his bowing almost instinctively. “I’m not familiar with this style of architecture.” I peered up at the solid rafters. “Is it Equestrian?”

Rush shook his head, leading me further into the large, spacious home. “No. It’s more typical of the homes from where I was born and raised. I built my own home there, but here I had more time and more than a little help from friends and family.” He tapped his head, “Magic would be a real help of course, but I’m more used to working with my hooves and mouth.” He chuckled, “I’ve had a long time to get used to it, and I still sometimes fall into my old ways even now.” The brown stallion waved me to a cushion on the floor beside a large open fire range whilst he collected a tea pot, a small wooden box, and two cups. Everything he produced was plain, simple in it’s own rustic charm, and absolutely in keeping with the theme of our surroundings. He hadn’t asked me anything, and yet was treating me as though I were an old friend come to visit. I suddenly felt horribly embarrassed, and cleared my throat.

“Rush,” I began, “I have a confession to make.”

“Oh?”

I took a breath and hung my head, “Forgive me, but… I stumbled across you and the princess in the woods, and didn’t make myself known to you both before you, um… became close.”

Rush paused and looked up at me, “Did we offend you?”

“No!” I quickly held up a hoof, “Good goddesses, no. I just feel that...” I took a breath and sighed, “It was wrong of me. It was not my intention to spy on you.”

“Then no harm was done,” Rush replied simply. He slid a cup of steaming tea over to me, “No sugar or milk I’m afraid. Is this alright for you?”

“Oh! Yes… yes, it is.” I gave him what I hoped came across as a genuine smile of gratitude and took a sip of the tea. Normally I took tea with milk and sugar, but this… this was... amazing! “This is delicious!” I exclaimed. “I’ve never had anything like it before.”

“It’s called Cacklewood,” the brown stallion explained pleasantly. “It grows in some of the more remote areas of Equestria, and we were able to cultivate some here for our own use.”

“Celestia and yourself?” I asked.

Rush nodded, “When she’s here. Celestia spends a great deal of her time in Equestria, as you no doubt know.”

I nodded, feeling my body relaxing by the second with the wonderful tea. “It must be difficult for you,” I offered. “For both of you.”

“Not really,” Rush replied with a dismissive shrug. “Tia can read the time fluctuations between the mortal realm and here. What may seem like an hour there can be a week here, or more. Of course it can work the other way around too, so you need someone who is a lot more in tune with magic than, say, myself.”

And boy, did I know all about that! Still, the house had an empty feel to it that as much as it looked cosy, it made me feel as though something was missing. “Are there any other settlements around here?” I asked.

“Not many.” Rush took a sip of his tea, “The nearest village is a days walk from here along the road on the outskirts of the forest. I visit it from time to time, but mostly I stay here.”

“It’s very quiet here though,” I observed. “Don’t you miss the company of other ponies?”

Rush shrugged, “I enjoy my own space, and the herd kindly gave it to me when I arrived.” He took a sip of his tea. “I have what I need. When I passed over I found myself here along with all my tools, building equipment, and everything I needed to start afresh.” The brown stallion smiled absently, “It took a long time, but every nail, every board and reed in this building, I put there myself.”

“So in the literal sense, you built your own home here?” I shook my head in amazement, “That’s incredible...”

Rush smiled and bowed, “You’re too kind.”

“Not at all.” I bobbed my head to him in response and began staring around in wonder at the incredible place Rush had built for himself and the princess. You certainly couldn’t get any further removed from the luxuries of the palace with its fantastical architecture, marble, and exquisite works of art everywhere you looked. Here the work of a true craftspony showed in every beam, every joint, and even the mats we were sat on. And the smell! It was incredible! Everything was permeated with a soft and gentle scent of freshness that added a vibrancy and life to the interior that I absolutely adored. “Rush, forgive me for asking, but what’s that smell?” I asked. “It’s wonderful.”

“The flooring,” Rush said, motioning towards the large interlocking mats we were sat on. “They’re made from river reeds which I collect and use for furniture, bedding, the roof - all sort of things.”

“Is that something you did when you were alive?” I asked.

Rush nodded, motioning towards to his cutie mark, “I was blessed by the gods with a gift for working with natural materials.”

I looked around the room at the various examples of home made furniture, including the bunches of reeds woven expertly into the ceiling and walls. Everywhere I looked were examples of the fellow’s craft. “Extraordinary,” I breathed.

Rush bobbed his head again and turned the conversation back to me. “So, may I ask what brings you to my home today, Fairlight?” He put down his cup and shifted his weight into a more comfortable position.

Damn it, I could see this coming a mile off. I mean, what was I supposed to say? A magical barber let me escape from prison and sent me into… wherever the bloody hell this was supposed to be! But Rush seemed an honest sort of fellow, and one I had immediately felt comfortable to be around. Celestia obviously trusted him, but I wasn’t exactly on the very best terms with the white witch despite of our recent accord. Mind you, it may pay dividends to, shall we say, grease the wheels with the coltfriend? I’d have to box clever though. The last thing I wanted was her nibs hearing all my dirty little secrets. Speaking of which, who knew she had a coltfriend in the first place? I’d never heard anything on the usually all pervasive grapevine, and I’m damned sure the magazines and papers would have been brim full of it if it had it been common knowledge. That said, Rush was in the herd, and was quite evidently a mortal who’d ended up here exactly the same way as all mortals do. I wonder what his story was?

“To be honest I stumbled across you and the princess completely by accident,” I said holding up a hoof apologetically. “I’m just…” I paused, “I don’t know really. Truth be told I haven’t got a clue where I am or where I’m going.” I chuckled helplessly, “I’m just a wanderer, I guess.”

“Itchy hooves?” Rush asked with a wry smile.

“Not by choice,” I lamented quietly. “Things at home didn’t quite work out the way I’d hoped. I suppose I’ll just let Fate take me where she will. She always gets her way in the end.”

“Fate,” Rush snorted under his breath. “A mare who has more power than the gods in some ways.”

“I can’t say I’ve ever had the pleasure,” I grumbled. “Although I’d probably have more than a few words to say to her if I did bump into her one day.”

Rush leaned back and smiled, “Aye… Me too, Fairlight. Me too.”

We sat quietly for a time, enjoying the peace and quiet with only the pop and crackle of the fire as accompaniment to disturb the near perfect silence. I could see now why Rush like it here so much. I could feel my mind slowly opening to the world around me, my senses spreading their ethereal wings and taking in the fragrant air and life of this curious land. Perhaps… Perhaps this truly was the heaven I had hoped for all these years. Peace, quiet, the lazy river outside beyond the whispering leaves of the bamboo forest. It was all so perfect. So, so perfect... I could feel my head drooping and my eyes closing as, for the first time in I don’t know how long, I started to relax.

“Fairlight?”

“Hmm? Oh!” I looked up with a start, “Gods… Sorry, Rush,” I said rubbing my eyes, “I was nodding off there for a minute.”

“You were.” The stallion helped me to my hooves. “Come. I always keep the spare room made up for unexpected guests. Take the weight off your back and be my guest for the evening.”

I wasn’t in a fit state to argue. Tiredness flooded my body as Rush helped me with my barding, packs, and other assorted gear. Between the two of us we soon had it stacked and ready for the morning with the kind of military precision my father would have been proud of. As anypony who was used to wearing armour could tell you, taking all that weight off was like flying without wings, and I all but floated over to the bed with a combined sense of gratitude and relief that was almost tangible.

“Thanks,” I breathed. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.” Rush plucked several blankets off the shelf and placed them on the foot of the bed, “You can use these if you get a little chilly. I’ll be down by the river if you need me, but otherwise help yourself to food and drink.” He plucked a neat silver pocket watch out of his tunic pocket and examined it. “You get some sleep, Fairlight. Come and join me later if you like.”

I closed my eyes, dropping onto the pillow that gave just enough to take my weary head into the world of dreams. “Thanks, Rush,” I murmured. “You’re a good one.”

“So she tells me.”

I didn’t hear the door close behind him. My mind was already drifting away in the gentle wash of sleep almost immediately, and I fell into a well needed slumber.

My consciousness drifted away on clouds as light as the softest eiderdown. With the absence of sound and only the blessed peace of this simple charming home remaining to balm my soul… Oh gods, how I had longed for this. There was no fear here, no pain, no blood, no screaming and the terror of innocence fleeing the horror of brutality and violence. There was only… love. My soul slipped between the worlds with a carefree abandon that was as joyous as it was liberating. I was free, free to laugh and dance, to fly and soar above the clouds. I was who I was, and nothing could change that now. Nothing at all. The mountains below, as grey as my coat, white capped with snow as white as the stripes in my tail and mane. I was a pony, an equestrian stallion. I was a wendigo, a spirit of the mountains. I was a soul of Equestria and a spirit of the netherworld. I was… I am… Free.

Waking up was almost a disappointment after such a relaxing snooze. A huge yawn and a stretch lead to another snuggle into the warm blankets. Safe beneath my woollen armour, a cool breeze tickled my ear from the open shutter which had been set to allow the perfect amount of ventilation into the room for a refreshing sleep. It was dark outside now, and the night time sounds of the forest drifted in, lulling me off into another delicious doze. It was a fairytale home in a fairytale land of such beauty that I-

Voices?

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. It was a mare and a stallion talking… My ears twitched and I began to strain to listen, and I- NO! Gods, no! What was I thinking?! Was I so bloody paranoid that I would keep listening in on my host like some kind of damned spy? I know I had the right to be wary about ponies after what had happened to me, but Rush? No. I was better than that. I had to be better than that! I shook myself and walked over to the wash stand, giving myself a rub down with the fresh water. A cursory inspection of my packs revealed my wash kit, and I gave my teeth a generous scrub for good measure. Determined to make a good impression, I strode to the door, opened it, and bowed low,

“Your Majesty...”

“Slice of cake, Lord Fairlight?”

I nearly tripped over my own hooves, “I… I’m sorry?”

Celestia rolled her eyes, “Would you like a slice of cake?”

Rush poured out a cup of tea and placed it next to the empty cushion beside the fire. “You’re welcome to join us,” he smiled. “Did you sleep well?”

“Um, yes. Yes, I did, thank you.” I bobbed my head towards Celestia, “And yes, Your Majesty, a slice of cake would be lovely, thanks.”

“Are you alright with lemon?” she asked. “I know some ponies can find it a little tart for their palate.”

I shook my head, “No, I’m fine with it really. I actually find the taste quite refreshing.”

The princess nodded, lifting up a small knife in her magic. “These come from Winsome’s Bakery in Los Pegasus, the only shop I know that can get the recipe just right. Goodness knows I’ve tried all the ones in Canterlot, but they just don’t seem to have the knack of getting the balance of sweet and sharp right for some reason.” Celestia floated a plate over to me with a generous slice of the sweet treat. “It goes well with coffee, but Rush’s tea is the best for bringing out the true flavour.”

Rush blushed slightly. It was only a little, but I still caught the look he exchanged with Celestia. It was only for the briefest second, but in those eyes I saw something that made my heart ache with loneliness. I gritted my teeth and stared down at the cake, praying silently that the jealousy that had flared within me wouldn’t taint the evening with these two. Gods, had I always been such an emotional wreck? Ha! Probably!

“Is something amusing?” Celestia asked bluntly. She waved off the silent protest from Rush and watched me intently.

I shook my head. “Not ‘amusing’, Your Majesty,” I said honestly, “Endearing. I confess I have rarely seen a couple so in love, and it’s truly wonderful to see.” I bowed politely. “I wish you both eternal happiness together.”

“Oh!” Celestia flushed a remarkable shade of pink which stood out in stark contrast to her white coat. “Thank you, Lord Fairlight. I’m so sorry, I thought we were being so discreet too.”

“A little late for that...” Rush muttered.

Celestia shot him a look, but it would appear my erstwhile stallion friend was immune to the white goddess’s infamous stares. I nearly laughed when Rush waggled his eyebrows at me comically. Thankfully the great Celestia missed it or I could see a piece of cake flying at him for his cheek. I tactfully diverted the conversation by taking a mouthful of the cake and remarking, “Delicious!” It was too. The moist, lemony cake with the crunchy sugar topping was extraordinarily good. “It has a slight maltiness to it that’s uncommonly good,” I observed, “And it’s so moist!”

“Aha! A connoisseur at last!” The princess sniffed animatedly at Rush, “You see, is said cake’s more than just ‘a sweet accompaniment to beverages.’”

“You’re not a fan of sweet things?” I asked Rush.

The stallion shook his head. “I do enjoy them,” he replied, raising an eyebrow. “But I wasn’t brought up on them so I don’t have quite the same affinity with them as a lot of ponies do. In my village the diet was mostly vegetables, rice, fish, and on occasion, venison. Sweet things were mostly for children and were sold by a travelling salesman.”

“Venison?” I blinked in surprise. “Isn’t that-?”

“He didn’t eat venison,” Celestia cut in quickly. “Ponies don’t eat meat. Do they, Rush?”

Rush remained silent.

And what was that other word he’d used? Sales… man? ‘Man’… I’d heard that word before somewhere but couldn’t quite put my hoof on it. Unfortunately I had the impression I was walking right into some very dangerous territory here and decided to bite back my next remark about wendigo eating meat. Celestia knew perfectly well what I was, and I suspected that, by association, Rush would too. I decided to avoid any further questions and play the consummate guest.

“Well, I can honestly say that you have both been extremely gracious with me, and if I may add, that this is some of the best tea and cake I have ever had.” I bobbed my head to Rush, “Thank you for your kindness in allowing me to stay the night, Rush.”

Rush smiled broadly, “Not at all. Any friend of Tia’s is a friend of mine.”

Friend?! I glanced at the princess whose blank expression said it all. She had clearly spoken to Rush about me, but in what capacity was something I didn’t know. “Thank you, Your Majesty,” I said, and bowed respectfully.

“Oh, for the gods’ sake can we please stop being so bloody formal?” The white mare rolled her eyes and rustled her wings, “I’m not ‘your majesty’ here, Fairlight, and I’d prefer it if we could speak together as equals for once instead of dancing about matters like blasted politicians. We all know that you and I haven’t exactly seen eye to eye before, and that’s putting it mildly. So I suggest we enjoy the evening together, have some tea and cake, and leave all the bowing and scraping where it belongs: in the palace. Are we agreed?”

I didn’t know what to say! I gave myself a shake, “Yes, your- um… Celestia?”

“Celestia is my name,” the princess said levelly. “Unless you would prefer that I keep calling you Lord Fairlight Loam all night?”

“No,” I shook my head briskly. “Fairlight is perfectly fine.”

“And you may call me Rush,” Rush smirked.

Celestia clucked her tongue at him but still snuck in a surreptitious wink. I couldn’t help but smile; love was a strange thing indeed.

The evening passed by with the three of us chatting about such mundane topics as baking, dancing, styles of dress, and even some historical characters that Celestia had met during her lifetime. Star Swirl, I noted, hadn’t been mentioned once despite his prominence in Equestrian history. I doubted it was unintentional either. If there was one thing I knew about the princess it was that she was not only remarkably intuitive, but that she always seemed to be one step ahead of the game. In all things. Topics surrounding children were also avoided, although I suspected this may have something to do with the princess not having any of her own. Or did she? She’d certainly kept Rush well hidden, so there was every possibility she did. Now my interest really was piqued! Still, as much I’d like to satisfy that nosy part of my inquisitive nature, I would have to keep my questions pleasant and non-inflammatory out of respect for my kindly hosts.

“May I ask how you two met?” I asked pleasantly.

Celestia sipped her tea thoughtfully. “It was during the war with Nightmare Moon and the Legion.” She glanced at Rush and smiled, “I was wounded in the fighting at the first battle of River Valley and ended up behind the enemy lines. My own fault of course. I was young, inexperienced, and far too damned idealistic for my own good.” She put down her tea. “Some said I was ‘cocky’, and as much as it pains me to admit it, I was. Leaders of state, Fairlight, should leave the pursuance of war to those who have dedicated themselves to such matters. History is replete with tales of the rise and fall of nations where politicians played generals with the lives of their people. The Llamalian Empire was brought to its knees by warring states, right to the point where their people went from being a technologically advanced civilisation to a near stone age existence which they have barely clawed their way out of. All of it was brought about through the ambitions, and the occasional madness, of politicians.”

“We have politicians in our system though, don’t we?” I asked.

Celestia huffed, “Pah! I’ve seen more animated stiffs in a cemetery.” She waved a hoof, “Rush, you take over will you?”

The brown stallion reached across and touched her hoof tenderly. In response, Celestia closed her eyes and sighed, letting her rising ire out in a long slow breath as Rush continued the tale, “Tia was hunted down by a group of warriors and gravely wounded in the fighting near my home. Although alicorns can heal quickly, they’re not indestructible.” He gave her a gentle smile. “I found Tia unconscious in the forest and brought her to my home where I helped nurse her back to health. I had some training in the healers arts and did what I could. By the grace of the gods, and her own strength, she began to recover. I didn’t know who she was at the time, but as we grew to know one another I began to realise she meant more to me than some stray woodland creature I’d found in the snow.”

“Woodland creature?!” I nearly choked on my cake and was rewarded with a withering glare from the princess. I held up a hoof placatingly, “I’m sorry! I… I thought everypony knew who the princess was, and-”

Rush came to the rescue, “Ah… I’m afraid it’s me who should apologise, Fairlight. You see, I wasn’t born as you see me now. My mother was Equestrian. She was pregnant with me when she travelled through a portal to another world without any means of returning home. Part of the magic of the portal meant that I was born as a completely different being to what I am, and it was only when I met Tia that I was able to come home, to my real home, in Equestria.”

Celestia’s face was a picture. She quite clearly didn’t like Rush talking about this part of his life, and she turned to stare into the fire in angry silence. As for myself, I’d thought there was something unusual about Rush. Nothing physical of course. It was more in his mannerism and his speech, not to mention the design of the house that spoke of an ‘otherness’ to him that was distinctly ‘un-equestrian’. And then it struck me. ‘Man’. Hu-‘man’.

“You were born on a world of humans?” I asked.

“You know about them?” Rush asked in surprise. “How? Have you been there?”

“You could say that.” I glanced at the princess and then back to Rush, “I was only there briefly, but I didn’t like what I saw.” I closed my eyes, “I’m sorry, Rush. I don’t mean to offend you, but what I saw there was… grim.”

“Oh, they’re not all bad,” Rush said pleasantly. He topped up my tea and put another pot on to boil. “Like anywhere there are good and bad, even amongst the thestrals. Thorn helped us despite being ordered by Nightmare Moon to bring back-”

“Rush, please!” Celestia wrapped her wings about herself and shivered visibly. “Don’t… Don’t talk about that. Luna’s changed now, and I don’t like to be reminded of things that… that tore us apart.”

Rush leaned towards her and stroked her back tenderly, “I’m sorry, love.”

She looked back at him with a pained smile and kissed him.

“Did you say ‘Thorn’, Rush?” I asked. “That wouldn’t happen to be Storm Major Thorn of the Beyond tribe would it?”

“You know him?” Rush sat up quickly, his ears pricked up. “How on earth do you know him?”

“He helped me escape from a lunatic who wanted to chop my head off,” I said simply. “Thorn risked everything that day, and he lost his own son doing it.” I looked down at my tea, at the steam swirling up around my muzzle, the same way the water had swirled around the bridge supports near the crucified body of my friend’s boy. “I owe him more than I could ever repay,” I finished quietly. “Thestral he may be, but he has a heart and soul greater than most I have met in my lifetime.”

“It was an honour to know him,” Rush added nodding his head. “He was a soldier, and a stallion with a strong sense of honour, duty, and one I would be glad to call my friend.”

Celestia, I noted, looked away and said nothing. Some things never left you, and as much as Thorn may have helped them, he would forever be one of ‘them’ to her: an invader, and an enemy. I knew myself that there were some memories you could acquire in your life that would never fade no matter how much you wished them to. Oh, they may dull in time, you may even forget them, but they were always there, hiding in the dark recesses of your consciousness, wiling their time and spreading their influence. Unseen. Uncompromising. Memories like that left scars that were invisible to the eye, but dig deep enough, and they were there all right.

“So what was it like balancing on two legs all the time?” I asked, changing the subject.

“I didn’t know any better,” Rush replied. He helped himself to another slice of cake and topped up all three cups of tea. “I’d always had a sense of ‘otherness’ which I put down to simply being less inclined to be around others. I was a loner in a society that prided itself on having a strong community spirit, and so I built a home for myself in the forest where I could live and work in peace. But that feeling of not belonging, of my body being… ‘wrong’, never left me.” He leaned across and placed a hoof beside his mare’s, and their eyes met. “It was only when I found Tia that my dreams began to make sense and to take form. It was then that I realised who, and what, I truly was.”

It sounded like a bloody nightmare to me. “How did you change back to being a pony?” I asked curiously.

“The portal magic,” Rush explained. “Tia can explain it better than me, but from what I can tell, when mum arrived in the human world your body changes to emulate the local fauna. When I travelled back with Tia, I changed into what I should have been all along.” He tapped his chest, “One earth pony stallion. Complete, and un-gelded.”

“Un-?” I held up a hoof, “No, I don’t want to know!”

Rush chuckled mischievously, “What about you, Fairlight? How did you end up dealing with humans?”

“Ah, well...” I glanced over at Celestia who said nothing. “I worked for the Watch, and later on, the Agency.” I took a sip of my tea. “A while ago a criminal element in Equestria had somehow managed to recreate portal technology and were trading with the humans in weapons, drugs, and slaves.”

“Slaves?” Rush stared at me before looking to Celestia. The princess never spoke, but her expression told Rush all he needed to know. He looked sick.

“I’m afraid so,” I nodded sadly. “But we got them back home safely in the end. Unfortunately, to infiltrate the human world, myself and my team ended up morphing into those bald pink monkey things and had to learn to use those… what were they? Hams? No… Hands?” Rush nodded. “Useful things to have I suppose,” I continued, “but gods was I glad to get back on solid ground with proper solid hooves instead of those pink squidgy tentacles on the end of my legs.”

“It was a bit different for me.” Rush snorted and stretched out his hind leg for a scratch, which I was surprised to see Celestia obliged without even a single word passing between them. Was it really possible to know somepony so intimately, so intuitively, that they knew what you wanted or were thinking without any verbal communication? Incredible... I looked up as Rush continued, “The shock of changing nearly killed me, and it’s really only thanks to Tia and Star Swirl I survived at all. My recovery took some time, but as you can see I got there in the end.” He gazed into Celestia’s eyes and smiled distantly as though remembering those traumatic days of his past. “I’d lived as a human for a whole lifetime, Fairlight, and perhaps being born on a planet where magic doesn’t exist simply overwhelmed my body. I don’t know, but I wouldn’t wish going through that transformation on anyone.” He grinned, “Or any pony.”

“Don’t you miss being a human though?” I asked, intrigued. “After all, you were one for a long time, right?”

“I was,” Rush agreed. “But do I miss it?” He shrugged, “Sometimes. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss the ease of using tools and things, especially when I’m doing something intricate. But overall? No. I am who the gods intended me to be, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“But you still live here on your own,” I pointed out. “Don’t you miss the company of other ponies, Rush? I know you said you liked your solitude, but ponies have a herding instinct which is hard to ignore.”

He nodded, “True, but I also enjoy my own company. Much of my time here is spent collecting reeds, chopping fire wood, or working in the workshop on various projects for the market. Tia spends as much time with me as she can, and my mother and father visit occasionally too, which is why I built the guest room.”

It went without saying where Celestia was sleeping. I wondered if any of the staff at the palace noticed she’d been missing, but from what Rush was saying it was clear they’d been together for what must have been around a thousand years, and they still acted like love struck teenagers. Even then Celestia must have been ancient by pony standards. Maybe Rush liked older mares?

“If I may ask, Fairlight, where are you planning to go when you leave?” Rush asked. “The forest is a very large place, and if you don’t know your way around you could easily get lost. And trust me when I say this is not the place one wants to get lost.”

My ears pricked up. “It’s that dangerous?” I asked in surprise. “We are still in the eternal herd’s realm, aren’t we?”

“We are,” Celestia answered. “However, due our rather unique circumstances, Rush’s home is far away from the rest of the herd so that we are not, er… disturbed?” She glanced at Rush before turning back to me. “I’m sure you understand why, Fairlight.”

“Forgive me for saying so, but I’m not sure I do.” I cast them both a sincere smile. “Surely ponies would rejoice for their princess to find love? A royal wedding would-”

The princess closed her eyes and her frozen expression killed off the rest of my words before they left my mouth. A chill shivered down my spine. I’d really put my hoof right in it this time. Thank the gods Rush quickly came to the rescue.

“Ponies knew about me when I was alive, Fairlight,” Rush explained. “After I came home to Equestria and was able to walk about without falling flat on my face all the time I was introduced to the people as the Royal Consort. Most ponies accepted me readily enough, but as much as I would have wished it otherwise there were all too many who resented our relationship, including some high ranking members of society both in Equestria and abroad.”

“Rush was seen as… ‘unwelcome competition’,” Celestia added. She took a shaking breath as she continued, “To many of the nobility he was merely a ‘common earth pony’ who had no right being by my side. Our relationship caused fractures along old tribal lines which I’d thought had been put to rest when the war of the tribes came to a close. Apparently, I was wrong.”

“But that was more than a thousand years ago,” I reasoned. “Society has moved on since then and a lot of those old prejudices have been consigned to the history books where they belong. I don’t doubt you’ll still find the odd racist lurking in the shadows, but nopony nowadays would want to be caught airing those kinds of views, especially public figures.”

“Ah, Fairlight...” Celestia shook her head, “Even if that were true, like you, Rush’s mortal body is no more. Do you seriously think that the ponies of Equestria would accept their princess being in love with a soul from the eternal herd?”

“I… I don’t know...” I hung my head. What a fool I was! As always my bloody big mouth was in gear before my brain...

Rush leaned over and clopped me on the hind leg, “Don’t worry, Fairlight, I make that mistake all the time. Living here in the forest is so much like my old home that it’s easy to forget I’m in the afterlife.”

“Your Majesty, I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “That was ignorant of me. I didn’t mean to-”

“Fairlight, please, this isn’t a conversation I haven’t had a thousand times already with Rush,” Celestia said gently. “He’s a stubborn mule sometimes, and he knows that all he needs to do is-”

“Tia?” Rush’s voice carried a note of warning. “That’s not a subject we should be discussing with guests.”

The princess sniffed imperiously at her lover’s words, but they still had the desired effect. She took a deep breath, resettled her wings by her side and lifted the pot from beside the firepit, “More tea anypony?”

There was a tense silence for a while, broken only by the tinkle of cups and the sound of tea pouring into them. The last pieces of cake disappeared and the conversation began once more, only this time on the subject of manes, hoof care, and Rush’s experience in herbology. I was genuinely fascinated to hear about his life in the human realm despite Celestia’s earlier reticence about him talking about it. Was she embarrassed by the way she’d met Rush there? Or was it because, as I suspected, she feared he may be seen as not being a real pony? Both were likely to be true, and knowing how fickle ponies could be I could understand how difficult things must have been for the two of them after the war. To be honest I was quite intrigued as to how Rush had managed to vanish from the histories however, let alone the public consciousness. Nopony had ever mentioned Rush in any of the classes I had attended, and history had been one of the few subjects I’d actually enjoyed. Perhaps it was a deliberate act by Celestia, or of course it could have simply been forgotten. Knowing how little ponies seemed to care about their past it wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest. I think that was one of the reasons I found Briar and her stories so fascinating. She cared about her peoples past. She knew the old songs, the legends and sagas of days long gone. And I’d hung off her every word like a fish on a hook.

“So what do you think, Rush?” Celestia asked. “Up or down?”

“Definitely a pony tail,” Rush replied with a nod. “It suits you.”

“You don’t think it makes me look silly?”

“Of course not.”

“Fairlight?”

“Hmm?” I looked up, suddenly noting I was being included in their conversation. “Oh! Er… the pony tail.”

Celestia’s magic glowed and a red scrunchie floated out of her pannier and over her mane, sliding up along the length of it until it held her magnificent rainbow hair in place. “You’re sure it doesn’t look strange?” she asked.

Rush rolled his eyes, “No, Tia.”

The princess looked to me, “Fairlight?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle, “I have to agree with Rush. It suits you very well, Celestia.”

“Luna made fun of me the last time I had it like this,” the princess lamented. “And when I tried it in pigtails she said I looked like a kinky school foal.”

Rush started to laugh.

“It wasn’t funny!” Celestia protested. “She teased me about it for a whole month! I’ll never live that down...”

Rush leaned towards her and whispered something in her ear which made her cheeks blush furiously.

“No!” she squeaked, “I…” Celestia looked down abashed. “Not when we have guests.”

I kept quiet as the couple whispered sweet nothings to one another. The jealous surge within me from earlier had gone, replaced instead by a warm feeling of happiness for these two. Fate had been cruel to them, but eventually they had found love, here in the forest of bamboo. How the two had kept the magic alive all this time was extraordinary in itself, and something I found oddly invigorating. Jelly Bean had been right; hope was what kept us motivated and striving to move forward. I couldn’t conjure it out of thin air, but seeing the purity of love between Celestia and Rush sparked something within me, and it felt… good. Gradually though the evening drew to a close and it was becoming increasingly obvious that these two wanted to go to bed. There was, however, a question I had which hadn’t been fully answered yet.

“Celestia, Rush, where does the forest path lead?” I asked.

Rush looked at his mare and then back to me. “If you take the path to the south it will lead you to one of the villages further up river,” he answered. “Whereas the other will take you deeper into the forest and past the iron gate. I would advise you to avoid that at all cost though, Fairlight. It isn’t the place for ponies to travel. Not even wendigo.”

“Why?” I asked, genuinely intrigued.

Celestia raised an eyebrow, the dying light from the fire glinting in her eyes, “Because that, Fairlight, is the gateway to Tartarus.”