//------------------------------// // Chapter 49: Disagreement // Story: The Bug In The Basement // by Skijarama //------------------------------// A few weeks later… They’d never made it this far up the trail before, Beebee realized. The trees and shrubbery were gradually starting to thin out around the family of three as they continued their gradual ascent, allowing more sunlight to filter down through the gaps in the path’s corridor to light their way. A few birds sang at each other in the branches before flying from their perch to another one. In the bushes, a squirrel darted along from leaf to leaf, using the greenery as cover to hide its movements. Somewhere far, far away, the sound of an eagle screeching reached Beebee’s ears. Under any other circumstance, on any other day, he might have been able to feel some sense of awe and wonder at the beauty of it all, and excitement at his progress. But, sadly, his mind was far too occupied with other thoughts, thoughts he wished would just pack their bags and leave him alone. Even now, weeks after his visit to Apple Bloom’s house, he was unable to shake the feeling of guilt that had found a nice home in his heart. His best friend valued the truth very highly, and here he was, the little bug who was always pretending to be a human. The little liar… Beebee sighed heavily, slowing down his pace until he came to a total stop. He looked to his left at the forest around him, trying to find something pretty to distract himself with. Maybe a cute animal, or a nest of birds? Heck, he’d take a patch of basic flowers at this point, or just a weird, mangled leaf. He wouldn’t have to wait for long. The distraction he sought came to him in the form of Buddha suddenly shoving her muzzle into his neck, startling him out of his reverie with a barrage of licks. Beebee lifted a hoof and weakly gave Buddha a few pets, trying to assure her that he was fine. Sadly, if anything, his weak gesture only served to intensify her concern to the point of being visible in the air. The taste hit his tongue like a rotting grape and made him recoil in disgust. “Buddha, hey, off,” he protested, finally managing to convince Buddha to take a few steps back with a gentle shove. The dog whimpered at him in concern, her head lowering. She then looked over her shoulder at Eventide. Beebee followed her gaze to look at his father, who had stopped a few paces ahead and was now looking back at the two of them with worry and confusion. “Beebee? Are you okay?” he asked while turning to face his son more directly. “You’ve been really quiet all week.” Beebee opened his mouth to say he was fine, to assure his father to not worry and that he was just tired. The words caught part of the way up his throat, and he stood there with his jaw hanging open. He didn’t want Eventide or Buddha to worry about him, but if Buddha’s sudden barrage of licks was anything to go on, it was a bit too late for that. And besides… he couldn’t bring himself to lie to them. Not to his family... He lowered his head in defeat before shaking it back and forth. “No… not really,” he confessed in resignation, his voice reflecting his low mood perfectly. He regretted saying those words the moment they left his mouth, as the worry radiating off of Eventide completely eclipsed Buddha’s as he drew closer. The taste of rotten grapes was joined by other fruits, making Beebee shudder involuntarily. Eventide knelt down on one knee in front of him, briefly pulling his attention away from the less than pleasant taste. “What’s wrong?” Eventide asked in a quiet voice. Beebee looked at him for several long seconds, wrestling with his thoughts and trying to decide how to approach it. In the end, he let out a quiet sigh before trudging a little closer. “...Do you remember my trip to Apple Bloom’s house a few weeks ago?” Eventide frowned, reaching out a hand to rest on the back of Beebee’s head. “Yeah, I remember. You said you had a good time…” his frown deepened, and he tilted his head to one side. “Did something bad happen that day that you didn’t tell me?” Beebee’s ears stood upright, and he quickly shook his head in denial. “N-no! Nothing bad happened! I just…” he hesitated, then deflated while falling to his haunches. He let his head lean back into Eventide’s hand, taking comfort in the warmth. “...Something my friends said has been making me think, and… It’s got me feeling bad.” There was a brief silence between the two of them before Eventide reached out and gingerly picked Beebee up. He held the little guy close to his chest and began to carry him further up the trail. “What did they say?” he asked in a soothing whisper while slowly rocking Beebee back and forth in his arms. Beebee let his eyes droop, and he buried his muzzle into Eventide’s neck, glad for the embrace. “They… it’s Apple Bloom, specifically. She told me that lies are a bad thing and that her family takes the truth really seriously,” he explained slowly, his ears drooping and his wings twitching on his back. Eventide’s aura shimmered with a sequence of emotions, most noticeably was still concern. “Well… lying is a bad thing, most of the time,” he said before coming to a stop and turning in place. “Why is that bothering you so much?” Beebee looked in the direction Eventide was, curious about why they had stopped. Had his mind not been so absorbed in his own emotions, he may have been awed by the stellar view of the mountains that greeted his eyes. There was a hole in the wall of greenery, framing the sight perfectly. The summer sun shining down from the rich blue sky on the tree-smothered mountainside and surrounding valleys was truly a stunning sight to behold… But at that moment, Beebee was unable to appreciate it. He looked up at Eventide again. “...Dad… I’ve been lying to them since the day I met them…” he admitted in a quiet voice of his own. Eventide’s brow furrowed. “You mean by turning into a human?” he ventured carefully, and Beebee nodded in confirmation. “Yeah… I’m not a human, dad. I’m… well…” he lifted up one of his hooves and looked at it, his eyes narrowing with scrutiny. “...I don’t really know what I really am. I’m a bug thing, but I’m not really a human. Every time I see them, though, I look like something I’m not, and… and I… I don’t want to keep lying to them...” “Hey…” Eventide stopped him quietly, his expression turning stern. “I get how you must feel… hiding things from your friends is never easy, especially if you want to tell them. But you know why we can’t let anyone see your real form. It’s too risky. If word got out about you, then who knows what might happen?” “I know that dad,” Beebee nodded his head dejectedly before looking out at the mountains again. “But… can’t I show the people we know we can trust? I mean, Aunt Fluttershy knows...” Eventide’s aura shifted from concern to disapproval and… was that fear Beebee tasted? He resisted the urge to gag before squirming out of Eventide’s arms to land on the ground. He then turned and looked back up at his father, seeing the distinctly disapproving look on his face. Eventide put his hands on his hips and took a deep breath. “Beebee… Look, we’ve talked about this before. The fewer people there are who know about you, the better. Fluttershy only knows because I called her to my house the day you hatched because I thought you were a wild animal. Once we both realized that you’re one of a kind, we decided not to say anything. And we only got more sure of that when you accidentally lit my bed on fire with some stray magic when you were little.” “But dad-” “I’m sorry, Bee, but right now, the Crusaders have to stay in the dark,” Eventide stated with finality. Beebee wasn’t having it. He took a step forward, his eyes pleading. “But dad… They’re my best friends… my only friends. I’ve known them for so long, now. Don’t you think they deserve to know? Even just Apple Bloom?” Eventide’s expression was steadily starting to become more intense, and a few faint wisps of anger began to drift off of him. “No, Beebee, not even her. Maybe you trust her, but I don’t. She’s still in high school, and I can’t be sure that she’ll keep you a secret if someone starts prodding,” he rebuked before looking ahead at the trail. “Now come on - let’s keep going-” “What if I made her promise to keep it a secret before I showed her?” Beebee tried, lifting into the air with his wings and arcing around to hover in front of Eventide’s face. “I know Apple Bloom won’t break a promise to me if being honest is so important to her. Come on, please?” Eventide narrowed his eyes, lifting his arms to cross them over his chest. “You have my answer, Beebee. No means no. Now please, just drop it-” “I can’t keep lying to them, dad!” Beebee suddenly snapped, his ears folding back completely against his head. “Please! You can even be there to supervise if you want! I just want to tell them the truth! I have to!” “What would it accomplish?!” Eventide suddenly barked, making Beebee recoil when there was a sudden flare-up of red in the man’s aura. “Answer me that! What will telling them what you really are accomplish? What if they get scared and run away? What if they get mad at you for lying to them for so long?! What happens if you lose your friends because you showed them?! What if they think you’re a monster?! Answer me that!” “They would never do that!” Beebee barked back, his chest starting to tighten in frustration. “I know they won’t! They care about me too much to throw me away like that!” “How do you know that for sure?” “I can see what they feel, dad!” Beebee pointed out, his wings twitching in irritation on his back. “I know they care about me! They’re my friends, so why can’t you just trust me about them?!” “Because you’re still just a child!” Eventide shot back. “You’re small and young, and there are so many things you don’t understand!” “So help me understand!” Beebee pleaded, his teeth starting to grind together. “Help me understand why I can’t be honest with the only friends I’ve ever had!” Eventide paused and screwed his eyes shut, taking in a long, deep breath. The red in his aura slowly died down, replaced with a dull, simmering orange before he opened his eyes again. “Okay… fine. Let me ask you a question, and I want you to think about it very carefully.” Beebee huffed, a blast of heated air flying out through his nostrils before he took a step back. “Fine… what is it?” Eventide frowned intensely. “Watch your tone, Beebee. Now…” he was silent for a second before looking sideways at the mountains. “You can see your friends emotions, I get that. You’re an empath, so you know what they’re feeling. But you’re not a telepath. You have no way of knowing for sure what they’re thinking, or how they’d take it when presented with your true self.” Eventide turned to look at Beebee again. “So, if you show them your true form, how can you be absolutely sure that their feelings won’t change? How can you be sure that they will still be your friends?” Beebee went to respond but lost his voice when he really began to think about it. Eventide had a point. Beebee could see emotions, not minds or thoughts. He could infer a lot from one's emotions, to be sure, but there were limits to what he could tell from colors in the air. In the end, he licked his lips and met Eventide’s gaze. “...I can’t be sure, but I have to try. They’re my friends, dad. Please… they deserve to know… they’ve earned it.” A heavy silence hung in the air between the two for several seconds. Off to the side, Buddha looked between them with her tail tucked between her legs, and a quiet whimper slipped out of her throat. In the end, Eventide sighed and shook his head. “You don’t know. And there’s the problem. Look… I understand what you’re feeling, and what you’re saying, but… I still don’t think it’s a good idea, Beebee.” Beebee’s posture drooped, his heart twisting painfully in his chest. “So… that’s a ‘no’ then?” Eventide nodded. “Yeah… that’s a no.” Beebee looked down at the ground, unable to meet his father’s gaze any longer. For several moments, he just stood there, looking at the dirt beneath his hooves and trying to calm his turbulent mind. His body was shaking with frustration and anger… two emotions he had very little experience with feeling for himself. It made him sick. It made him feel like he was on fire on the inside. His wings twitched involuntarily sporadically on his back, and his forked tongue snaked out to flick at the air a few times. Eventide shifted on his feet. “Come on, Bee… let’s keep going, okay?” he offered in a soft and gentle whisper. Beebee looked up at Eventide. There must have been something in his eyes that Eventide didn’t like, because the man suddenly took a step back with a wave of shock and fear flooding his aura. But in that moment, as frustrated as he was, Beebee couldn’t find the will to really care. With a quiet hiss, he spun around and began to trot up the trail again, his hooves coming down with enough force to leave noticeable tracks in the dirt. As he went, Beebee’s mind wandered, becoming completely oblivious to his own fast pace or the steadily growing burn in his muscles. He was really just trying to focus on not lashing out. Anger was a foreign feeling to him, but he was familiar enough with it to know that it would be best to try and keep it in, or at least hold it until he could vent safely. That didn’t stop the thoughts in his mind from raging like a wild forest fire, though. He was so consumed in them that he lost track of the dog and man he was leaving behind until a voice called after him. “Beebee, slow down!” Eventide shouted, sounding farther away shorter of breath than Beebee had expected. Confused, he glanced over his shoulder, and only then did he realize just how hard and fast he’d been trotting. Eventide and Buddha were almost jogging to catch up, both of them short of breath. Beebee paused for a second, his mind trying to catch up with this development. And now that he stopped, and his anger began to dissipate, the weakness decided to remind him of its presence. All at once, Beebee’s chest painfully tightened, and it felt as if all the air in his lungs just disappeared. With a breathless gasp, he crumpled to the ground with a heavy thud. He was heaving and twitching uncontrollably as he fell into one of his fits, and he began to cough and hack violently when dirt from the path was pulled into his lungs from his frantic gasping. The burning in his legs was much worse than he was used to this time... “Beebee!” he could just hear Eventide shouting over the sound of blood madly rushing through his ears. His eyes lazily turned to look up, catching sight of Eventide sliding to a stop next to him with a horrified look on his face. Eventide hesitated for a moment, then reached out to lift Beebee in his arms. “Bee, are you okay?” Beebee just kept coughing before gasping again, his lungs burning in desperation. Yet no matter how much he breathed, no matter how much air he sucked down, it was never enough to satisfy. With a grimace, Eventide turned and began to carry Beebee back the way they had come, moving at a brisk power walk. “I think we need to go home, now…” he said in a somber voice. Beebee didn’t bother to offer up a response, just gasping and heaving in Eventide’s arms for the next several minutes before, finally, his episode ended, and he fell into a light, restless sleep. When Beebee woke up, it was to the sound of the inside of the car. He slowly opened up his eyes and looked around, realizing that they must have been driving back to the house. Eventide was in the driver’s seat, of course, and Buddha was sharing the passenger’s seat with Beebee. She was laying on her side and held Beebee close against her tummy with her paws wrapped protectively around him. Now that he was stirring, her tongue began to slide across the back of his head in a series of light, affectionate licks. He could taste her relief and concern and took a moment to drink in what he could from the conflicting feelings. Eventide looked over at Beebee out of the corner of his eye, noticing that he had woken up. “You okay?” he asked quietly before his eyes returned to the road. Beebee hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to respond. He set his head back down against Buddha’s belly and nodded his head. “...Yes.” “Good. You had a pretty bad fit this time,” Eventide said before falling quiet, letting his emotions speak for him. Beebee hummed softly and lifted his eyes to look at the world through the window. They’d probably be back home in another five minutes or so, if he remembered the way right. He then looked at Eventide again. More specifically, he examined his aura. Eventide was tense, that much was obvious. But more than that, he seemed… conflicted. His aura was flickering back and forth between scared, angry, neutral, anxious, and a wide spectrum of other emotions that flashed by so quick that Beebee had no time to identify them. “He must be upset about what happened on the trail… how I got mad at him...” Beebee thought regretfully to himself before closing his eyes. That was another thing to feel guilty about, he supposed… he’d made his own father angry at him. Of course, he was still a little angry with Eventide, too, but that was no excuse. ...At least he could do something about this guilt right now. He opened his eyes and looked over at Eventide again. “Dad?” he called, his voice weak and timid. Eventide didn’t even look in his direction. “Hm?” Beebee hesitated for a second before finding his voice again. “...I’m sorry.” Eventide’s eyes lowered for a moment, and his aura shifted to a deep, dark blue. He slowly nodded his head but said nothing. Beebee sighed and closed his eyes again, electing to keep sleeping the rest of the way home.