***
"But if you don't mind, I'd like to expand your function."
Rarity's hooves covered Spike's eyes. "What's going on? I can't see! Rarity, what--"
Fluttershy put a hoof over Spike's mouth. Nopony dared to get up. There was something paralytic about this. Like watching a drunk at a karaoke night. Or slowing down for a car accident.
"Are you sure you're up to this? This is," Celestia's purr made Applejack fight to hold down her apple fritters, "an advanced technique, and it may require some proper use of angles. Perhaps I should demonstrate first."
Twilight scoffed. She stretched her wings and other regions that would haunt the ancestral dreams of Rarity's family for generations to come. "I aced trig at twelve. I think I can handle some unfamiliar geometries."
Fluttershy gave a whimper of horror. Her wings flew over her face. Although a few feathers parted to allow for a peek.
"What the hay were you thinkin puttin' this on for movie night, Dash?!" Applejack hissed, glad to have an excuse to turn away from Twilight's display of, err, femininity.
"I was thinkin' Twilight wouldn't keep this hidden underneath her Daring Do collection! I thought 'Angle of Attack' was an action movie!" Rainbow wailed at the sight of Celestia's wings going rigid.
"Do you think you have everything you need?" Twilight rattled off a list of items that set dread deep into the feeble mortal hearts of all attending.
"So long as you have the correct, mha, measurements in order." Celestia beckoned with a wing, rubbing the side of one leg.
"Thank you, your majesties," Rarity chimed in at the screen, "I shall now think of the horrors of this moment every time I need my tape measure."
"I assure you that I have every intention of helping you reach your absolute maximum."
"So long as you can derive something from the exchange as well."
Rainbow Dash had hated math before viewing this video. Now, she was pleased to report she did not. Rainbow Dash was terrified of math after viewing this video.
"I assure you that my variables have been accounted for."
"Make it stop!" Rarity screamed.
On the screen, Twilight levitated a ruler, an eraser and, to the horror of all still watching, a french curve towards Celestia. Celestia raised an eyebrow and purred again.
"Okay, that's it!" Dash erupted from her position with the explosive fury of a very emotionally traumatized typhoon. She dove towards the screen just as the camera began to focus on a part of Princess Celestia that she had no desire to see in close detail at any point in her existence upon the planet.
The television shut off before her hoof could reach it and before the offending region could come into clear resolution. A lavdender aura was surrounding the "off" button. The room was silent. All heads turned to see Twilight Sparkle, her eyes as wide as dinnerplates and her entire body limp, standing numbly in the doorway.
"Never speak of this again?" She submitted meekly.
"Never speak of this again." Four voices spoke in unison.