Early to rise the next morning, I head for the shower and mentally map out today’s plan. With Lockie, my brother-in-law, coming in to town for this evening’s Bears-Saints game, it only makes sense for the three of us to go together. Unfortunately, for obvious reasons, Lockie has one extra ticket.
“Howdy, Sugarcube!” Applejack greets after I enter the kitchen. “What would you like for breakfast?”
“Looks like pancakes. Thanks for offering!” I respond as I take in the scent of fresh batter.
“Think nothing of it!” Apple Bloom responds. “What would you like with them?“
“Caramel Syrup?” Applejack suggests.
“Praline?” Granny Smith adds.
“Pear Jam?” Apple Bloom finishes, to the apparent disdain of her kinfolk, who immediately all start laughing, AB herself included. Must be an inside joke.
“Take ‘yer pick, Cap’n Max.” Big Mac asks just as the first few hit the griddle.
“Eh, surprise me. Is that a bad idea?”
“Eeyup.”
“Eh? Well… I’ll just grin and Bear it.”
Lockie doesn’t arrive for another couple hours, so the joke came a little earlier than it should’ve. Unfortunately though, that joke is over their heads. Not that it was an easy grab anyway.
Chuckling at my own joke, I then pop some DayQuil for my sinuses and Advil for muscle soreness, having fallen asleep in a funky position last night. A swift shot of whiskey to wash them down is immediately met with a hostile reaction from the kitchen.
“You’re gonna get yourself killed one of these days.” Applejack says disdainfully.
“I’d say something back, but you’ve been through a lot worse than me.” I snap back under the buzz of my first drink.
“You said so yourself: grin and bear it.”
“And I am. Like so.” I say as I down some more pills with another shot, further enraging the middle Apple.
As I pour another shot to finish off the bottle, Rosalina emerges from the bedroom ready for the day. I quickly down the glass before Applejack goes redder than her family name and strips the the glass from my hand, downing the rest of it angrily. Unfortunately for her, it’s Fireball. As soon as she downs it, she audibly objects, slamming the glass back on the countertop, to which I respond with a smirk as I get the text that Lockie has landed.
“I’m here, I’m waiting.”
“Checked bags?”
“No, just a large carry-on.”
“Awesome! We’ve got some new friends with us, so be prepared for an adventure.”
When I send the text, I grab the keys to EVRFREE and head for Stevenson.
At Midway, plenty of luxury limos and rideshare providers are picking up passengers, but there’s no sign of Lockie.
“Upper level now. Arrivals is at a standstill.” He texts.
“I’m stuck down here, but stay where you are.”
10 minutes later, I pull up curbside, he tosses his bag into the back seat, and hops in.
“Lockie, my man! What’s up?!”
“Not much, just the game later this evening.”
“What’d‘ya think? NFC Championship preview?”
“Eh, not really? I’ve got good eyes on a Bears-Eagles NFC championship game.”
“Are you kidding, I really don’t think the Bears are gonna qualify this year. 9-7 will miss the playoffs easily.”
“Oh please. 7-9 can clinch a division.”
“In the AFC! Detroit’s out at 7-5. Doubt Minnesota will leave second.”
“Could be worse. You could be Green Bay.”
“We do not speak ill of the dead.”
We reach Spire in about 90 minutes. With the whole morning ahead, Lockie and his sister head up to their condo to catch up. I return to my condo and dig out another bottle of fireball from my bag, filling a glass next to the flapjacks touting a dab of butter, some caramel syrup, a healthy dose of pear jam, and a heapin’ helpin’ of praline.
“Those are yours, sugar cube, and for the love of your life, please put the drink away!”
“Why do you protest so?” I say sounding like Rarity. “You’ve already got me for mental instability, the least I can do is enjoy a few drinks.” I say as I take a shot.
“I don’t know what’s going on in your life, and I know you don’t want to hear this right now, but the honest truth is, it’s the holiday. You’re in great company, as are we. A drink or two is fine, but 1. Not this early in the day. And 2. Not when you have a fun day planned for us.”
“I do?”
“Yeah, I heard you talking to yourself.”
“Great, more of a mental case for you.”
“Aw, lighten up, sugarcube. I know you’re eager to impress. This is your hometown!”
My face changes slightly as Applejack knows she found what it took to brighten up my day.
“Thanks for the support.” I reply stoically.
“Yer’ welcome, sugar cube. Though normally, I’d expect Pinkie Pie to be the one to cheer you up.”
Just then, a voice calls from across the room.
“Cheering up?! Who’s sad??!”
“Not me, I’m dead inside.” I reply monotonously.
“Hahaha, you’re not a robot, silly!”
“What?”
“Where’s the nearest sweet shop?”
“Two blocks north.”
“Want anything?”
“Uh,” Applejack mentions, “I made flapjacks for us already.”
“I can get you a coffee! Or a tea, or juice, or something else.”
“I’m alright,” I respond, “thanks Pinkie.”
“Applejack?”
“Nah. I’m good.”
“Okie dokie, Loki! Be back soon!” She says as she steps into the lift.
“People that chipper make me nervous.” I think to myself.
“Morning, Twilight.” AJ calls out as I dig into my breakfast.
“Good morning to you two too!”
“Did you want anything from the coffee shop? Pinkie’s on her way, if you want to text her.”
“Eh, do you have coffee here?”
“K-Cups and the coffee maker are next to the toaster and ovens.”
“Cool, but I’m trying to cut back on coffee.”
“Anything you want, sugar cube? We ain’t got much. I was hoping we could go grocery shopping today.”
“What time is it?” I ask checking my watch. “If you want, you can go grocery shopping now, since I imagine most of the others are still asleep. $400 should cover it?”
“Thank you kindly for your generosity.”
“Hey! That’s my bit!” Rarity says as she bursts out of the lift.
“Flapjacks sound good this mornin’, Rarity?”
“Sure. But keep it light on the toppings.”
“On it!” Applejack shouts as she pours more batter onto the griddle.
As I eat, Dash and Scoots roll in with Sunset, leaving Sweetie Belle as the last one out. When Sweetie Belle does join us, the last of the batter goes, and to wash down breakfast, some more fireball. A blow of 0.04% prompts Applejack to exclaim,
“Heavens to Betsy, Max! How much did you drink?”
“Everything you saw, and then some.” I say feeling hot in the face.
“I’m amazed it isn’t higher.”
“Maybe it is. Don’t know how accurate these things are. Besides, at .04%, I’ll likely experience nothing more than glare sensitivity and slower reaction times.”
“You can’t drive then.”
“I know. Now that everyone’s here,” I say redirecting my voice to the crowd, “who wants to drive the big green Mercedes?”
“Why can’t you?” Twilight asks after a short silence.
“Day drunk on fireball.”
“What?!”
“Oh! My.” Fluttershy utters.
“At least I can be fun now.” I say under my breath.
“No you’re not.” Applejack asserts back. “This may come as a shock to you, but you become even more unfunny when you’re drunk. Your decision to get drunk this early in the day forces me to take some steps to make sure you stay safe and out of jail.”
“What else besides not driving then?”
“You are to be accompanied by one of us at all times, and only when you need to use the bathroom can you leave.”
“Fine, fine.”
“Hey, gates open in a few hours. When do you want to go see the museums?” Rosalina texts.
“We can go now.”
“Meet us at ground level then. 20 minutes.”
“Yay.” “Alright everyone,” I then call to the crowd, “leaving in 20 minutes.”
“Where?” Pinkie says as she emerges from the lift with 3 cups of coffee and a bag of donuts.
“Museum Campus. Field Museum, Shedd Aquarium, and Adler Planetarium.”
“Cool! Who ordered coffee?” She says as those who requested orders grab them.
“Pinkie,” Applejack says to her, “Max is drunk and can’t drive. Can you?”
“I should ask first,” I chip in, “how familiar are you with the city?”
“A fair amount. It’s just been a few years.”
“Good enough.”
“Okie dokie, Loki!”
”Wow Max! You wanna party already?!” Rainbow shouts from across the room.
“Hell yeah!” I respond, which further enrages Applejack but makes the others laugh. In response, I say, “see, I DO become funnier when I’m drunk.”
“Ha ha, sugar cube. You’re stayin’ with me.”
“Fine. Fine.”
“Hey, no fair! I wanted him to show me around!” Dash shouts back.
“He’s just gonna take you up in his airplane and expect some “favors” in return.” Applejack retorts.
“I’m sorry.” I respond sorrowfully, obliging to AJ out of spite. “I hope we can still be friends.”
Both Dash and AJ wince at my comment as Apple Bloom and Scootaloo start tittering.
“Don’t you dare egg him on!” The blonde says to her sister.
“Gotta admit though,” Apple Bloom responds defensively, “that was pretty funny.”
I smile innocently as Applejack goes red again.
“Okay, let’s get downstairs.” I say as I acknowledge her fury. “I think the high(-rise) life is starting to get to some of us.”
“Not. Cool.” She snaps back at me as I call the lift.
On the ground, I introduce Lockie to the crowd by his real name, Lachlan. The convenience of living right next to Soldier Field is revealed in the game day parking: $65, add $15 if tailgating,
Nevertheless, as I share a few cheers with fans, Lockie reveals his Saints jersey under his jacket. I smile as we stop in front of Soldier Field on the Museum Campus side to brief the day to everyone.
“Alright, this is Soldier Field, home of the Bears and a Veterans Memorial. There are three museums here that we’ll explore. Field Museum, Adler Planetarium, and Shedd Aquarium, in that order.”
After I grab the tickets, I repeat the MSI spiel. “For exhibits requiring additional admission, request a receipt and I’ll reimburse you. Meet back here in an hour.”
Applejack comes good on her promise and stays with me, as do the rest of her family. As I show them around the fossils in the foyer, I admit that I’m not much of a fan of archaeology. Fortunately, a docent by the name of Petunia picks us up with the small group she’s currently leading.
When the tour ends, we have half our time slot left over, but Apple Bloom spends some extra time with the fossils and Granny Smith trudges back to the precious stones with her elder granddaughter, where we meet Rarity.
No surprise seeing her here, Rarity begs Applejack to take me, and she does. She excitedly takes me by the arm as she takes pictures of many of the stones on display. This activity spares us 15 minutes, so after she does some stone shopping herself at the gift shop, we meet the others and continue on to Adler.
While the others wait at Man Enters the Cosmos, I purchase the tickets, where Twilight decides to stick with me.
Here, we share a few intellectual laughs as she geeks out about the maths of astronomy, since astronomy is the reason she got into math as a kid. Over time, that love became a marriage of career and passion, appropriate for the head of astronomy at Butler, due to become chair of the Physics department, and tenure shortly after that.
As she starts talking about more than simply the exhibits themselves, I can’t help but feel a sense of admiration-based attraction to Twilight for her intelligence, her intellect, slight innocence and relative naïveté, but most of all, her drive for her career, fueled by a passion for what she loves.
After we return to the lobby having exchanged a few more jokes and laughs along the way, the others meet us having been a little unimpressed by this museum, except for Applejack, who displays a sense of renewed hope. Inquiring minds, she was moved by a bit on shooting stars. Gladly, this trip was pretty good for some, but my shining moment is to come, onward to Aquarius!
After I issue the tickets, I give each of them to me, and guess who shows up after a docent brings her to the front? Melody!!!
We share a tight hug and tear-filled reunion as I tell her, “so, putting Marine Bio to good use, huh?”
“Spot got really sick, but we’ve nursed him back to health, and everyone loves him!”
“Fantastic! What are you doing specifically now?”
“I’m Spot’s trainer! He remembers mom, so I guess he really likes me for that reason.”
“I’m so proud to see you here! I thought you would’ve gone into medicine after your residency in Kauai.”
“I was, but when I heard the news about Spot, I just had to come take care of him.”
“I am so proud of you!”
“Thank you dad!”
I then introduce Melody to everyone, including Lockie, who has not met her despite knowing about her for quite some time.
Since Melody does want to show me her workplace, Applejack lets me be. As she gets me up close and personal with Spot, I share a petting, because I was there with Ariel assisting in his marine recovery efforts, and I personally transported him here to Shedd*. Fortunately, he does remember me.
After he and I share a heartfelt reunion of our own, I leave them to prepare for the day’s show, meeting Apple Bloom.
“Max, I have to ask: why did you decide to get drunk this early?”
“Eh?”
“And another thing, why Fireball?”
“It’s virtually the only thing I can drink that doesn’t make me vomit immediately. Surprising as it is, I have a high tolerance, but I’m still as featherweight as you can get. That’s because I get Asian flush.”
“What’s that?”
“Basically, my body lacks the enzyme to digest alcohol.”
“You look fine though.”
“Sometimes it shows, sometimes it doesn’t. I know I have a high tolerance, but I’ve been told I turn red after one hard cider, which is ironic, because those things are like 10 proof.”
“You know, Max, I’m not the best person to tell you this, but if you’re having trouble, why not talk to somebody?”
“I refuse to seek professional help, because I did once, and it actually accelerated my suicidal thoughts.”
“Ouch. I’m sorry.”
“I’m the one who should be sorry. I didn’t ask you to come here to Chicago just so I could bum you out.”
“It’s alright. I wouldn’t‘ve asked if I didn’t expect it.”
“You know, I like you, Apple Bloom, and your sister I deeply admire. Your family has gone through more hardships than I could ever imagine, and you did it all together.”
“I was really young when our parents passed, so I don’t have as strong a connection as AJ or Big Mac.”
“Still valid though.”
“If you want to talk about it, I wouldn’t mind hearing your stories.”
“I appreciate that, thank you. Maybe later, when I’m not showing you my city or eating the greatest pizza in the world.” I respond with a wink and nudge, which she giggles at.
“Apple Bloom! There you are!” Her older sister calls.
“Yeah. I found Max and we started talking.”
“Did he give you his sob story to gain sympathy??”
“No!” She insists. “If you would get over his overreacting to things, you would understand.”
“Ok, fine. What’s on ‘yer mind?”
“Later, when we’re not so, public, or in a place where we should be having fun.”
“Fine, but we need to tackle this problem at its source.”
“Obligation to say “been fighting this since high school. No end in sight.””
“Suck it up, buttercup and make some lemonade.”**
“Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve heard that.” I respond covering up a flare of anger.
“Good, now smile, It’s a Beautiful Day, and you’re with us. You’re a part of the family.”
“I’m honored.” I say as we group hug.
“Showtime’s at 15:30, meet at the amphitheater entrance 15 minutes before.”
“Cool.”
“Awesome!”
“Yay.”
That gives us about 45 minutes to explore until then, so the three of us continue to walk around.
When showtime rolls around, all 15 of us take a seat in center house, just outside the splash zone. Once we all get seated, Fluttershy sits next to me as Melody introduces herself as Spot’s trainer. I beam with fatherly pride as Fluttershy eagerly waits for the show to begin.
A beautiful show complemented by a compliment from the star of the show splashing me in particular, to the laughter of my company, I shed some liquid pride as the show wraps up. Fluttershy, having been enamored throughout the whole show, begs me to go backstage to meet him.
A few strings, Melody’s approval, and the three of us go back to meet Spot. Immediately, Fluttershy has a bit of a cute attack. I make sure he knows she’s friendly, but to my relief, the two of them get along rather nicely, probably more than us two, but I chalk it up to Fluttershy being Fluttershy.
As Melody and Fluttershy bond with Spot, I get texts asking where everybody is. I ask if everyone can come in, and after Melody checks with her coworkers, she approves. I give them directions, and after we all squeeze in, Melody’s coworkers leave to clean the show tank, as per schedule.
As all of us have some fun, Rosalina pulls me aside. With about an hour until the gates open, Rosalina and her brother are gonna leave now. I give them $200 in $20’s as Lockie gives me some $100’s.
“Thanks for breaking those,” he says, trying to avoid accepting money from me. I give my wife some more, to which she winks at me as they leave for Soldier Field.
After about a half hour with Spot, Melody decides to put him to bed, so once we leave, she asks where we’re going for dinner. No surprises as to what peoples’ sentiments are, I decide to be brave and go for Uno.
Pointless to walk, we pile in and head for the restaurant. I ask Rarity to check on the wait for Due after we park on the roof at the closest garage. I text “45 minutes” for Uno, and two minutes later comes “30 minutes“ for Due. I decide to just wait for the original after asking how hungry everyone is. As all of us wait outside in quickly chilling weather, I gather everyone close and channel my inner docent.
“This is Pizzeria Uno, the birthplace of Chicago-Style Pizza. Due, where Rarity came from, is the second location, but exact same otherwise, opening 12 years after this location in 1943,” I say pointing to Uno, “and 1955.” I finish pointing back down Wabash. “Ironically, the original intention of Pizzeria Uno was not pizza, but rather, Mexican, just for some variety, as they would’ve been one of very few Mexican restaurants in Chicago at the time. If you like deep dish pizza, this is where it all began!”
Pinkie, the Illinois native, then chimes in, “Eh, I prefer Gino’s.”
“I hope we can get to them. If you still would like to do a city tour, I can arrange that. Tour bus or directed by me, it’s up to you.”
“Why would we pay for a city tour when we can get one from you?!” A voice shouts from the back, sounding like either Scootaloo or Rainbow Dash.
“Because sometimes, it’s better for someone whose job it is to point out the best parts of the city do it than someone who is from the city but been far removed for many, many years.”
“No way! You wanted to show us the city, you’re showing us the city!”
“I won’t argue.”
“Max, party of 13!” The host shouts from the front door.
“Wow!” I shout to myself as many a waiting customer give me dirty looks. “That was fast!”
Given the size of the establishment, our tables are no surprise spread out. Nevertheless, after everyone looks over the menu, I move between tables strategizing what pizzas should go to which tables, and as a result, make seating arrangements as appropriate. The final arrangements are as follows:
At one table is Fluttershy, Rarity, Sweetie Belle, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Scootaloo. With me at the other are Twilight, Sunset, and the Apples.
Each table will receive the same set of the following pizzas:
- Cheese and Tomato
- Chicago Classic: sausage, cheese and tomato
- Numero Uno: sausage, pepperoni, onions, bell peppers, and mushrooms.
Two rounds of refills later, the first pizzas roll out. One by one, each of us except for me go beady-eyed as we dig in.
Having dinner this late works to our advantage, as there is only one piece left collectively, which I ultimately eat to avoid leftovers. After the bill, despite insistence for proration from Rarity, we head back to Spire, where I outline tomorrow’s expected itinerary of a city tour, weather dependent, and Oven Grinder for dinner.
All good for the night, Rosalina and Lockie report their return to her condo, a 35-35 tie game, and dinner at Au Cheval “so [Lockie] could have the best burger in America.”