//------------------------------// // Sorcery? // Story: All Hail Prince Rumble! // by Stratocaster //------------------------------// Chapter 4: Sorcery? "So then that's when I said to the baron, 'That's no giraffe, that's my caddy'!" said Fancy Pants with a snooty chuckle. The rest of the rich denizens of Canterlot relayed a wave of laughter as they sat at the royal dining table. The smell of haute cuisine and merlot-inebriated breath the air above the elaborate banquet prepared for them and the royal sisters. This frequent get-together once again included the presence of Prince Rumble, who tossed around the bits of sauteed tofu around his fine china plate. Stories about too much haze on the golf course often bemused young ponies, at least hardworking ones. The chatter was enough to give Rumble the feeling of wandering through the San Palimeno Desert, so he began to feel parched. Unfortunately his glass was already empty. He turned aside to speak to a servant. "Excuse me, can I have some more fruit punch?" he requested. "I apologize, my prince," the servant replied. "But our reserves seem to dried up, after his highness's royal gaming marathon. We'll have to order some more." Rumble huffed. He hadn't drunk an actual glass of water since Thunderlane introduced him to punch years ago. He looked to his right at his fellow monarch's plate set. "Princess Luna?" he whispered. "Can I have some of your-" "WHY CERTAINLY, DEAR PRINCE RUMBLE!" bellowed Luna. "Every prince must acquire a taste for wine!" "Absolutely not!" scorned Celestia from Luna's right. "Royal or not, I do not allow children to have a drop of alcohol. Really, Luna, these are not medieval times." "Tia, there is a saying they have in the land of Hoofington:" Luna rebutted with a sip from her chalice. "You're no fun anymore." Desperation set in. Rumble badly needed a splash of refreshment, particularly with fruity notes. He stared at the half full glass of merlot sloshing in Fancy Pants' hoof across the table, which by now would make a total of four glasses. "That's when I realized how hilarious it is to confuse cabana boys." Fancy Pants chortled. "You give them a towel that's red and blue, and a towel that's blue and red, and then they try to remember which one is yours!" "Hm, once again," said Celestia. "You and I have very different ideas of humor, Mr. Pants." The conversation and thirst was excruciating. Rumble could do nothing but stare at the debonair's wine glass with a dry tongue. Before long, the glass appeared to be growing larger, too big for Fancy Pants to hold in his hoof. The glass grew and grew until it was nearly three times its size, which is what happens when one levitates an object closer to themselves. The next thing Rumble knew was that the wine glass was in front of his face supported by nothing. "I say!" exclaimed Fancy Pants, half out of offence and half out of surprise. The entire dinner party gasped as Rumble stared in awe, less now at the glass of wine, and more at the glowing purple aura surrounding it. He looked to his right, thinking that Princess Luna was trying to offer him a sneaky taste. But she was aghast as well, along with her sister. This only confirmed for Rumble that the aura was not coming from any of the guests, or the servants, but from himself. At that moment, he noticed a tingling warmth in the center of his forehead. "HUZZAH!" cheered Luna. "THE PRINCE HAS MAGIC AFTER ALL!" "Well well well," Celestia grinned as she levitated the merlot bottle and topped Rumble off. "Looks like we have some new business to attend to." Rumble felt a bad twist in his gut at the thought of what was to come. Though it was not as bad as tasting the wine five seconds later. The effort was not worth it. ... The next day, after a very restless sleep, Rumble found himself in the royal gilded carriage which rolled in tow down the lavish shopping district of Canterlot. He was partially relieved that this day trip was not meant for another public address or journey to a foreign land. But he was primarily concerned knowing that he was bound upon a different kind of journey: one of knowledge and mastery of the arcane arts. "Princess, I'm not so sure I would be any good with magic." Rumble said, sheepishly. "I mean, sure, I'm a level five pyromancer in Swords and Stallions, but I'm no Twilight Sparkle." "Magic users do not pride themselves on their level of skill, Rumble." Celestia replied, sitting across from him on the carriage. "By learning to control your new powers, you will ensure a greater quality of life." "Soooo by making stuff float without picking them up?" discerned Rumble. "I assure you, my friend," said Celestia. "Magic goes far beyond trivial needs. You will see once we arrive." "Where are we going again?" asked Rumble. "The first stop for all fledgling unicorns." Celestia looked out the window as the carriage slowed to a halt. The two stepped off the carriage as their escort held open the door and onto the sidewalk. Rumble peered upward at possibly the oldest place of business he had every visited or will have visited. Golden Glossary's Guides and Grimoires was the central repository for magical texts and tomes in the city of Canterlot, particularly for students of magic upon every first day of school. Luckily for Rumble, it was their spring break and there was no crowd to block his path to higher learning. He had heard Twilight mentioning the shop in stories of her academy days. He hoped that he could experience the same kind of ecstasy that she felt as a foal. As the door opened itself, Rumble came face first with an entire universe of knowledge; but mostly with the immediate scent of mothballs. The compact shop was void of any decoration as all of the walls were completely lined with neatly alphabetized magical guides, from AAAAAHH!! I Turned My Auntie into an Aardvark, to Zzzzzzz: Zero-Skill Sleeping Spells. Only the daylight through the windows illuminated the dim atmosphere, which was choked with a haze of dust. Rumble gave a slight cough in the doorway. "Yeesh, are you sure this place is still in business?" he asked. "They say that some of the tomes in Golden Glossary's collection are even older than me." Celestia said. "Now that I just don't believe." Rumble said absent-mindedly before being shoved further inside by a bemused Celestia's aura. He slid across the floor down one of the aisles of bookshelves and bumped into a rolling ladder. A withered voice yelled out as a pony fell from the ladder's rungs. He was an elderly gray unicorn with a curly beard and muttonchops, wearing a tweed coat and a pair of bifocals. The gentlecolt shook off the daze from the fall and instantly eyed the two visitors with delight. "Princess Celestia!" he greeted, adjusting his glasses. "Another pupil thirsting for knowledge I see?" "You can say that, Golden Glossary," smiled Celestia. "Prince Rumble here has finally tapped into his magical ability, and he will be under my private tutelage." "Splendid!" Golden Glossary shook Rumble's hoof. "It is an honor, my young prince. As you know, books can take you to a whole different world. Well in my shop, these books can bring that world to you!" "You mean like this one?" "Not that one!" Rumble immediately opened a book leaning against the ladder and unleashed an array of spiked tentacles that lashed at him from the pages, backed by a horrific screech. Golden Glossary clamped the book shut. "Sorry, that's the Demonic Codex of Unspeakable Horrors. I was going to put that one on reserve." "...For who?" Rumble quivered in shock. "Anyway, let's find you the right book, shall we?" Golden Glossary led the bewildered boy down the aisle. "Now, what area of magic are you most interested in studying? Potions? Enchantment? Transformation? Elementalism?" "Oh, uh, I never really thought about it." Rumble said. "I kinda just thought I would get some kind of general reference book. You know, something to just give me a crash course?" "Oh ho, my dear boy," chuckled the bookkeeper. "One does not 'crash' through magical study! Each different subject takes years of careful understanding and equal attention. There's an entire curriculum, you see." "I'm not walking out of here with just one book, am I?" Rumble winced. "My customers never do!" Golden Glossary then rolled away on a ladder, climbing up to reach a higher shelf. "Now let's see, for enchantment, normally I would recommend a beginner's guide such as My First Hex. But since you're starting your training a bit later in your youth, I would suggest this one- So You're A Late-Blooming Wizard Who Knows Nothing About Enchantment." He levitated the book down to Rumble. It even featured a picture of a troubled teenager on the cover. "That's oddly specific." Rumble took it with some strain. This intro book was already over five-hundred pages long with large pages and a thick leather binding. It would be typical of the titles to follow. "Whether or not enchanting will be your area of expertise, Prince Rumble," said Golden Glossary, riding his ladder elsewhere. "It is vital that you diversify your magical knowledge, in order to prepare yourself for the worst." "Like what?" asked Rumble, hurrying to catch up with him. "Like embarrassing yourself with a clothes-changing elixir that goes terribly wrong!" he grabbed another tome from on high. "Take this!" "101 Do-It-Yourself Potions." Rumble read the front cover, then the back. "'Warning: Do not attempt potions 35-101 by yourself.'" "You'll also need Conjuring Through the Ages," Golden Glossary began dispatching texts from his vast shelves, filling Rumble's stack at a frantic rate. "And of course Weather Magic For Silly Fillies, Transformation: Your Changing Body, A Brief History of Time Manipulation, The Do's and Don'ts of Robe Fashion-" "Come on, man!" Rumble's knees were buckling under the weight of his book stack. "I haven't even learned to levitate stuff on purpose yet!" Golden Glossary then pulled out yet another tome, before immediately regretting it. "Whoopsie, what am I doing? This isn't for you. Alchemy And You. As if I would give this to a student." "What's wrong with alchemy?" asked Rumble under great endurance. "Ugh, the subject of alchemy, my lad, is nothing more than the stoner older brother of potion-making." Golden Glossary scoffed, breaking his whimsical character a bit. "It really just boils down to either fabricating gold or a stone that grants everlasting life. Pretentious nonsense!" "That actually sounds pretty awesome." Rumble said. "No! Don't be an over-powered jerk!" scolded Glossary. "Stick to the basic curriculum!" Celestia approached. "I think this is all we'll need for now, Mr. Glossary." "Very well, Princess!" smiled Glossary as he teleported to the front counter. "I understand you're familiar with the usual rate for beginners' books?" "It's all on the royal account." Celestia said. "I know how expensive textbooks can be from a quality source." She then levitated the book load onto the counter, finally easing Rumble's burden. "Man," he heaved. "At least I'll get good use out of them. It's gonna take me my whole life to read all these books!" "Oh I doubt that, young prince," chuckled Glossary. "These are all rentals." ... A week later, Rumble found himself wandering into the royal hedge gardens of Canterlot Castle. He had strolled through this part of the regal grounds before and had felt unnerved by such lifelike topiary creations as the Chimera, the Manticore, the Hydra, and of course the Discord, which oddly enough had already grown out of the ground in that shape. But Rumble was not here for another gaze at these leafy creatures. It was time to put his first week of magical study to the test. Princess Celestia approached him from behind the Basilisk. "Good morning, Rumble," she greeted. "I hope you have studied up on your new material?" "At least the parts that weren't in a dead language." Rumble shrugged. "Then perhaps you are prepared to demonstrate what you have learned so far." Celestia said. "Now, as you should know, magic is a force based on change. Therefore, transformation is a vital skill for spellcasters. So I want you to try out some simple transforming spells on some of the fresh hedges we have in this garden." "You're saying I'm just using magic to make bush art?" discerned Rumble. "Shouldn't I be using it to make something, ya know, real?" "Topiary is a real as you make it, my dear prince." Celestia retorted. "Besides, you are far from ready to make any transformations into real objects, or living things for that matter. This is an ideal practice method for beginners." She then levitated a formless hedge in a pot in front of Rumble. "Now I want you to take an image, any image, and hold in your head in as much detail as possible. When you are completely focused on that image, make it real in the form of this hedge. Do you think you can do that?" "All I can picture is a hedge." Rumble said, staring at the humble plant. "Anything else, and make it real." Celestia encouraged. Rumble took a deep breath and faced the hedge, but unfocused his vision as he tried to picture anything he could turn it into. An array of different animals crossed his mind's eye, followed by a plethora of food which had been on his mind through pretty much of the day. It did not seem possible to transform a hedge into an entire full course meal. "Just relax your senses, Rumble," said Celestia softly. "Let go of all distractions except for the image that strikes you the most." Suddenly, the power in Rumble's horn was flowing. He could see it. He could visualize the image that he wanted to make real. One that only a young stallion facing the rigors of life could. And just like that, he fired his magic and the bush was transformed. "Rumble! Goodness gracious!" Celestia scorned. "AH! I'm sorry!" Rumble panicked as he tried to wish away a lewd image of Fleur de Lis he once spotted on a magazine cover. "I didn't think it would work!" "For Equestria's sake, change it to something else!" Celestia shielded her eyes. "Hang on, just let me try!" Shaking off his embarrassment, Rumble strained to channel magic back into his horn and visualize and different transformation. But while his mind was scrambling, his eyes were still fixed on the flattering hedge that posed before him. Before he could unfocus from it, he had already cast a spell half-voluntarily and hit the bush. It was not one of transformation however, as evidenced by the bush suddenly coming to life. "Hey there, big boy." The hedge of Fleur de Lis spoke to Rumble in a sultry tone. Not only had the plant now gained motor skills, stretching into a striking pose, but it also mimicked the real Fleur de Lis's voice exactly. "AAAHH!! That's not right!" shrieked Rumble. "Prince Rumble what do you think you're doing?!" scolded Celestia. "I don't know!" he responded. "You're not supposed to learn animation spells until next lesson!" added Celestia. "I can fix this! I can fix this!" the colt shook with panic. The hedge giggled. "My, aren't you a cute prince. You make my leaves rustle." "Nyehh!" Rumble skipped all rational thought and fired another burst of magic at the seductive plant, hoping to destroy it. Instead, the random spell only made the hedge stronger. "Ooh! That feels nice." Fleur de Lis sighed as her lean, leafy body grew to a hundred hooves tall. "I'm so big! I hope I don't step on my cute little manly prince." "AAAAAHHH!!!" Rumble screamed out of both terror and infatuation. "And now you're skipping ahead to growth spells?!" Celestia blurted at him. "Rumble, for the love of the sun, rectify this! The groundskeepers are watching!" "Woo! Way to go, Prince Rumble!" whooped a stallion with a pair of hedge clippers. "I could never get Fleur de Lis to look just right!" "Oh man!" Rumble hid the shame on his face. But he was not ready to give up. He mustered up all the energy he could manage into his horn and prepared himself for the most powerful spell he could think of in order to destroy the sexy monstrosity. Unfortunately, he was capable of pulling off something even more powerful than destruction. Once again, he fired the wrong spell at Mega Fleur. This time, it was a love charm, which was not ideal for an already flirtatious overgrown hedge. "Oh my dear sweet Prince Rumble!" gasped the pseudo Fleur de Lis. "I cannot hold back my feelings any longer! I must have you! Come into my branches and let me nestle you!" The lovely bush monster knelt down to sweep Rumble into her giant, prickly hooves. "I can't believe this is how I die!" Rumble screamed as he embraced his doom with eyes shut. At the last moment, Celestia charged in front of the hulking beauty and cast her own magic upon it, unleashing a huge and much brighter aura. With a long burst of light, the Fleur de Hedge screamed in fright then vanished from existence, leaving only silence and Rumble still cowering for a few more seconds. "...Is it over?" he quipped, opening his eyes at last. "Am I dead?" He looked around to see the coast was clear. "Wait, did you kill it, Princess?" "Well, not quite, Rumble." Celestia sighed with disdain. "I do not 'kill' living things, so I simply banished it to another part of the world. I do not where, however." "So, uh, turns out I already know four kinds of spells!" smiled Rumble sheepishly. "Not bad for a first-timer, eh?" "Go to your room." Celestia uttered without even looking at him. "Yes, ma'am." Rumble slinked away in shame. ... In the expansive royal kitchen of Canterlot Castle, the team of gourmet chefs were busy cleaning the ranges of dishes and pots to make way for dinner later that day. This was the perfect time for Rumble to settle in and practice another important skill for magic users. He sat on a high stool before one of the preparation counters and poured over a textbook, a small cauldron and rows of plants for ingredients. But much to the disdain of the cooks, the selection of ingredients was less parsley and sage, and more wolfsbane and deadly nightshade. "Ey! You!" shouted Haute Cuisine, the surly Prench head chef, as he approached Rumble wielding a ladle. "You cannot cook in MY kitchen! Prince or not! Sortez! Sortez, garcon petit!" "I'm just trying to practice making potions." Rumble rebutted. "Sacre bleu!" scoffed Haute Cuisine. "No magic on my counters! You poison my food with your witchcraft!" "I'll clean up afterwards, I swear!" replied Rumble. "Je fetche la Princess!" exclaimed the chef. "Chef Haute Cuisine," said Princess Luna upon entering the kitchen. "I assure thou that the scholarly Prince Rumble is under my complete and ever watchful guidance as he pursues his further magical mastery." "Quoi?" Haute Cuisine cocked his head. "She says get lost, snail breath." Rumble taunted. "Tout de leur!" huffed the snooty head chef as he stormed out of the kingdom of his very own. "Pray tell, Prince Rumble," said Luna. "Have you procured your first elixir yet?" "Not really." Rumble sulked. "Potions are harder than I thought! You'd think it would just be about following recipes. But every time I take a swing at this 'Everlasting Energy Elixir', I feel like I'd have a better time making Haute Cuisine's tofu Wellington." "Never despair, young pupil!" encouraged Luna. "No great brewer has ever succeeded on their first day. Potions may not be your forte, but all it takes, my dear, is god-like perseverance and determination!" "God-like?" pondered Rumble. "Have another go, sweet prince!" Luna grinned. "Oh alright." Rumble sighed and brought the pot of water to a boil. He then scooped up a combination of herbs, carefully divvying up the correct portions of each. "Let's see, two leaves of valley lily. Two tablespoons of crushed wolfsbane. Ten shavings of mandrake root. Half a cup of morning dew. One teaspoon of vanilla extract for taste. Now to stir." He grabbed a wooden spoon. "Now remember," said Luna, softly. "Brewing is nay much about the portions of ingredients, but about how they are blended. The right mixture and distribution of the ingredients in a potion will decide the potency and power of the-" The pot let erupted with a explosion that scorched both the prince and princess's faces. "...Now you tell me." Rumble muttered and dumped out his botched potion into the sink. "Keep your ambition, my prince," Luna comforted him. "And remember, anypony can brew. Anypony." She then exited with her mane slowly singing like a fuse. Now alone, Rumble let his failure weigh him down. He angrily swept his herbs off of the counter and buried his face in his hooves. "What am I even doing here?" he asked himself, regarding potions and more. About a half hour of sulking later, he heard a faint rustling and skittering coming from across the counter where he laid his head. He did even bother raising his head, thinking the noise was only a cook preparing a meal. Then, he heard a more conspicuous sound. A tiny squeak. At first it sounded like nothing but an old knob on the stove. But the squeaked repeated itself, and suddenly, Rumble's interested was piqued. He slowly raised his head and inch and opened his eye, first a crack, then completely wide. Staring at him from across the counter in the vacant kitchen was a large, matted rat, standing on the brim of the cooking pot and dropping bits of wolfsbane into the steaming water. Rumble jolted up on his stool. "No...bucking...way." His jaw hung open as the rat continued to add drops of vanilla extract. Rumble darted his head around to make sure that he was the only one there, for ponies anyway. "I knew there were rats in this kitchen, but I never would have guessed there'd be one that can cook! Should I...should I warn the chef about this?" The rat surprised Rumble even more by hefting the peeler, which was almost its size, and began peeling fresh stalks of mandrake. It was unclear whether this rodent was inhibited by magic or if it was just highly dexterous. But Rumble only saw this as a blessing in disguise. "This is incredible!" beamed Rumble. "This rat isn't just cooking, it's brewing! It's like it knows exactly what I'm trying to make! I'll be elated if you can make this potion better than me, little guy!...Or really embarrassed for that matter." The rat then hauled the spoon up to the shelf above the pot and began stirring. After a few anxious minutes, it jumped back down to the counter, turned off the heat, and stood on its hind legs as if awaiting for Rumble to sample its creation. Rumble took the spoon. "Are you sure?" he asked the creature. The rat squeaked enthusiastically. With a cautious reach, Rumble took a spoonful of the brew after it had cooled down and slowly slurped a drop of it. In an instant, he felt as if he could run several marathons. Rumble gave a loud whoop and leaped from his stool. He flew beneath the kitchen ceiling, weaving rapidly around the vents and oven stacks. He even grabbed a pair of spoons and drummed on the pots laying on the ranges. Finally taking control of his burst of energy, Rumble flew back to above his counter and grabbed the rat in his hooves as it gave a startled squeak. "Looks like I just found me a new study aid!" he exclaimed and scratched behind the rat's ears. ... After a week of more intensive study, Rumble assembled a small audience to the throne room for a demonstration. Princesses Celestia, Luna and Twilight, who was visiting at the time, sat at their respectful thrones as the young prince stood before them. He opened a small trunk full of many colorful liquid vials, containing the fruits of his labor over the past week. Squatting on his shoulder was his ever faithful assistant. "My, you really have been busy, Prince Rumble." Celestia said. "It was all thanks to just a little perseverance!" replied Rumble. "And totally not a super sentient animal helping me make potions by pulling on my mane to control my body!" "Rumble, I appreciate how far you've come as a student of magic," said Twilight. "But I think you shouldn't get carried away. Making too many potions can be disastrous to a novice. And it looks like you might be overachieving." "Nonsense, Princess Twilight," boasted Rumble. "I shall show you all that my brews are foolproof. And I will demonstrate with the most powerful concoction I have yet...concocked!" "Huzzah!" cheered Luna. "I do so love a mage with showmanship!" Rumble unfastened one of the vials from his case. "My ladies, I give you the Equine Elixir! The potion that will turn any animal into a pony instantly!" "Are you mad?!" blurted Twilight. "That potion is way beyond your ability! Even Zecora says that morphing elixirs can be highly risky." "Relax, Princess," scoffed Rumble. "I'm only going to demonstrate it on my lab rat here. Soon he shall be born anew into the civilized world on ponykind! His name is Lester!" "I must insist, Rumble," said Celestia. "Perhaps this is not such a good idea if Twilight here says it's dangerous." "Pshaw, sister!" replied Luna. "We shall give our fair prince and Sir Lester the benefit of the doubt!" "I'm just glad Fluttershy is not here to see this." Twilight sighed anxiously. Without further adieu, Rumble popped off the cork from the vial with one hoof and grabbed Lester in the other. "Now this might taste pretty nasty, Lester, but for the good of science! Er...magic...for me." He poured the vial into the rat's mouth as it drank down the potion willingly. Immediately the effects took hold. Lester's body began to convulse and spasm, squeaking loudly with panic. Rumble placed him on the marble floor as an unusual magical aura overcame the control test rodent. Suddenly, Lester's body was transformed into an amorphous shape that grew in size more and more rapidly. Princesses Celestia and Twilight watched in horror, while Luna and Rumble gazed with anticipation, as the rat attained the size and shape of an adult pony. The aura dissipated and Lester's final form was revealed. "Golden Glossary?!" exclaimed Celestia. "Ha ha HA, Princess Celestia!" cackled the old bookstore proprietor, as his teeth shrank and his worm tail turned to hair. "Bet you weren't expecting to see ME in your castle!" "...And why wouldn't I?" asked Celestia suspiciously. "Tia!" gasped Luna. "You let this twisted sorcerer within our defenses?!" "What are you talking about, Luna?" replied Celestia, baffled. "Whoa whoa whoa, hold up," stammered Rumble. "So you've been the rat helping me with my potions?" "Say what?!" came Celestia, evermore confused. "Correct, my little dupe!" Glossary grinned. "For you see, I have been attempting to gain access to the Canterlot Castle for decades. But Princess Luna had instructed the guards to always keep me out no matter how hard I tried. But now I finally found my way in!" "Why would Princess Luna ban you from the castle?" asked Twilight. "Because he is not the real Golden Glossary!" said Luna. "Luna this is insane!" protested Celestia. "Oh but it's true, Princess!" the pony once known as Golden Glossary chuckled. "You see, Prince Rumble, all I had to do was trick a novice user like you! Not only did you have access to the castle, but you were the perfect pawn for me to use to confront my enemy!" "So...you had me learn a potion that turns you back into a pony from a rat?" Rumble cocked his head. "Nnnno, dear boy," he slimed. "I transformed myself. The potion I taught you, that you made me drink, was a magic enhancement potion! And now, my true form shall be revealed!" With that, the old pony's eyes turned up as his head slowly began to swivel one-hundred-eighty degrees, with a sickening fleshy noise. "Oh sweet mother of- blrgh..." Rumble fought the urge to wretch. As soon as the old mage's head turned all the way around, a new face appeared on the back, what was now the front. The face was hideous and decrepit, and almost bore a likeness to a equine-like snake. The horrifying figure stared at Rumble with yellowed eyes and a pointy-toothed smile. Rumble was on the verge of soiling himself. "Just as I had thought!" exclaimed Luna. "It is the dark warlock Cranjek!" "How astute of you, Princess!" hissed the cloaked warlock. With a single zap from his crooked horn, he instantly incapacitated the approaching royal guards behind him with a powerful stun spell. "And now you and your sister shall bow before the new supreme power of all Equestria!" "Not if we have anything to say about it!" Celestia stood her ground and charged her magic. "We'll make short work of you, fiend!" added Twilight. "I may be outnumbered," chuckled Cranjek. "But you are severely outmatched! In case you've forgotten, I've had plenty of time to brush up on my spell books!" Before the trio of princesses could conjure a single spell, Cranjek unleashed a streak of magical lightning in their direction. The streak split into three and enveloped the alicorns in their blinding energy. Immediately the princesses were shackled to the floor by energy bindings and their horns were dormant of any magical aura. "It is a magic inhibitor curse!" said Luna. "One that has not been in practice for centuries!" "Why do I feel like this happens to us way too often?" Celestia sulked. "Maybe to you." Twilight muttered. Rumble watched in horror as his mentors were easily overpowered by the menacing shapeshifter. He could not even find the will to move his body as Cranjek loomed over him. "Now my young, unwitting prince," hissed the warlock. "You have a choice to make. Either be eradicated with the rest of the heretics who call themselves royalty...or join me, and be an apprentice to a real master of the arcane arts! Come, Prince Rumble. With more practice and study, you may even surpass me one day. If you sear your allegiance, that is." "You...you...you..." Rumble quivered as he barely managed to regain his courage. "You made me read books. And you would have me read more?! I'll never join you! I'd rather die right here, right now!" "Hmph, so be it." Cranjek charged his horn once again and prepared to strike the defenseless colt down. Suddenly, an entire stained glass window from across the throne room shattered into a hail of shards. Something was breaking into the hallowed halls of Canterlot Castle; something big, monstrous and relentless. Cranjek became distracted by the commotion. Rumble gawked with mouth agape as the mighty creature towered over them. "Rumble my love!" bellowed the giant hedge amalgam of an infatuated Fleur de Lis. "I have found you at last!" "Hummah hafma...famanphlamm..." was all Rumble could manage as a response. "Oh come on!" blurted Celestia. "I thought I banished you, you thumping, caterpillar-ridden hussy!" "Yes, I was banished to the San Palimeno Desert." Fleur de Bush said. "But not even the harshest sand and heat can stop the power of love! I sensed that my sweet prince was in peril, and I have come to rescue him from the evil that would keep us apart!" "What is this madness?!" demanded Cranjek. "I am trying to take over the world here!" "You!" roared Fleur. "You cold, heartless snake! I will show you the true fury of my love and devotion! Have no fear, my darling prince!" "Back off, you incredibly desperate weed!" barked Cranjek. With a booming, tree-like roar, Fleur de Lis's leafy likeness extended her branched arm and swiped Cranjeck away like a pesky leafcutter ant. The withered old warlock slammed high up into the far wall, leaving a sizable indentation in the stone. Cranjek glowered and tried to recover, but was quickly bombarded with a hail of wooden projectiles. Fleur de Tree fired sharpened twigs from her hoof, pinning her beloved's assailant into the wall by his clothes. Unable to move, Cranjek resorted to a teleportation spell, using up a good amount of his energy, and reappeared alongside the subdued princesses. "I have no time for groundskeeping!" he sneered and levitated the three mares. "Just try and stop me from dethroning the former most magical beings in all of Eue-" Without hesitation, Fleur de Leaf unraveled a coiling vine that stretched out and wrapped around Cranjek like a hungry kraken's tentacle. She hoisted the trapped sorcerer into the air and dangled him in front of her enraged face. "I will not even let you hurt my little Rumble's friends!" she boomed. "That's it!" growled Cranjek. "There's only one way to deal with overgrowth!" He took in a long inhale while charging his magic. With his hooves tied, Cranjek unleashed a plume of fire from his lungs, enveloping his adversary's face in blinding magical flames. But when the blaze fizzled out, not a single stick on her was singed. "What?!" exclaimed Cranjek. "How is this possible?! That was ancient pyromancey!" "My love burns hotter!" rebutted the plant elemental. "Thou go, girl!" cheered Luna, still immobile. Fleur de Bush finally dropped Cranjek onto the floor, but was not through yet. She opened her dark maw and unleashed a swarm of bees that immediately began stinging the dark wizard left and right. "Not the bees!" he screamed as he struggled to shoo the insects away. In desperation, Cranjek tried to revamp his fire spell. But he could only let out a single small flame before a kamikaze bee flew straight down his throat. As the crumbling warlock rolled on the floor, choking and reeling in pain, the flame spread across his dusty robe. The once-menacing deceiver was now incapacitated by both nature and his own hubris. "Happy place. Happy place. Happy place." Rumble repeated frantically, avoiding his eyes from the grizzly scene. But in one last effort for survival, Cranjek reached into his pocket and procured a random vial of potion. He uncorked it and doused his body with the dubious liquid, the smell of which was enough to drive the bees away. Finally able to stand, Cranjek rasped in fury as he tried to stomp out his flaming robe. "ENOUGH!" he hissed from his swollen lips. "I will have complete control over the realm of magic! All of Equestria will bow down to the awesome might of Golden Gloss- I mean CRANJEK!" "You fool!" cried out Luna. "Do you realized what you have showered yourself in?! I know that pungent odor! That is the dreaded Balm of Boom! An explosive potion that will react with any source of heat! In mere moments, this entire castle will be reduced to smolders!" Cranjek gave a dumbfounded glance downward, realizing that the flames eating away his robe were now rejoining themselves with his body, now dripping in highly combustible potion. He then shook his hoof at the sky. "With my last breath, I curse every stupid foal who doodled in my returned books!" "I'll save you, my love!" came Fleur de Lis. She quickly reformed her body into a huge grassy sphere that enveloped the doomed Cranjek, shrinking down to close off any open space in her state. "What are you doing?!" exclaimed Rumble. "The only thing I can to save you and everything you care about, my sweet." Fleur said with a tearful smile. "Do not cry for me, Prince Rumble. For you are too beautiful for a monster like me. I sacrifice myself in the name of our love!" In a split second, the throne room became awash in a white flash, followed by a thundering blast. Rumble, the princesses, and the unconscious guards were swept away by the immense force. Windows were shattered and furniture was toppled. But miraculously, the structure of the building remain intact, despite the violent shaking. In the end, the blast faded away and the survivors arose slowly and blearily. All around him, Rumble could see scorch marks, ruined pieces of rug and drapery and even fragments of Cranjek's robes. What was most striking was the vast amount of broken branches and petrified leaves that now littered the chamber. Luna picked up a barren twig as an ember fizzled out upon it. "'Twas bush that killed the beast." She said somberly. Now unrestrained, Celestia summoned her magic and revived her personal guard, immediately ordering them to fetch a cleanup crew. She then turned to her horrified protoge. "Well, Rumble, I hope you learned something from all of this." She said sternly. "This is what happens when you not only neglect to control your magic, but use it irresponsibly. I suggest you restart your studies!" "Now hold on, Princess," interjected Twilight. "Rumble may have indirectly gotten us nearly killed by a maniacal dark wizard. But he also very indirectly saved all of Canterlot from destruction with his topiary marefirend. No harm, no foul as I see it." "Besides, dear sister," discerned Luna. "Were you not the one who took Prince Rumble into that sham of a bookshop in the first place?" Celestia glowered for a moment. "Alright, so I have a hard time telling a kindly old bookkeeper from a power-hungry warlock. I'd like to see you get better with age, Lulu. And, Rumble, I suppose you do deserve some commendation for standing up to Cranjek and refusing to join him. You get a gold star." "Really?" he perked up. "Where is it?" "Where is what?" asked Celestia. "The gold star!" "It's a metaphor." "Ah beans." Twilight approached the prince and smiled. "Rumble, I think you have learned much in the magical arts. I suggest you continue your studies during your princehood." "No...*bleep*...way!" snapped Rumble. "It'll be a looooong time before I start reading any of that dangerous voodoo again! Besides, all this studying has severely cut into my tabletop game time! So if you'll excuse me, ladies, I have some dark wizards to kill!" He stormed out through the doorway, but not before turning back once more. "Unrelated!" ... Meanwhile, in her lavish estate by the castle, Fleur de Lis attended to a flower bed in her luscious backyard garden. She tended to her flowers with a watering can filled with a special magical growth formula that made her beauties vibrant and strong. But as she watered, a withered branch landed upon the soil end up. Within moments, the top end of the stick began sprouting small leaves that bunched together as they grew in numbers. Fleur de Lis watched in awe as the leaves then took shape, and soon enough, she was staring into her own miniature, green face which gazed up to her and spoke. "Ugh! Who is this ugly tramp?!" scoffed the plant. "AAAAAHH!!" the real Fleur de Lis screamed. "Fancy Pants, come quick! Those creepy groundskeepers have been thinking about me again!"