//------------------------------//
// Chapter 183: My Shadow and I 
// Story: My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic: Stallion Edition 
// by SuperPinkBrony12 
//------------------------------//

Having mostly settled into her role as a guidance counselor at Twilight's school, Starlight was convinced that she was prepared for anything. After all, she had the Cutie Mark Crusaders to rely on (including their honorary members, one of whom was a former baddy herself though on a smaller scale).

But nothing could've prepared her for the unexpected presence of Tempest Shadow. The hornless, scarred unicorn was still clad in her "Nightmare Knights" armor as she strolled somewhat nervously into Starlight's office. "I was told you were a guidance counselor?"

Starlight nodded and tried to keep a smile on her face. "You heard right. What uh... brings you this way? You looking to apply for a job here? Twilight's more the one to talk to about that sort of thing."

Tempest shook her head, before locking the door with her hooves. "No, it's nothing like that. I came to talk. There's some... things I need to get off my chest. Things I thought I'd put behind me long ago."

"Would you maybe like some empathy coco?" Starlight suggested as she floated over some hot chocolate in a brightly colored mug, smiling somewhat nervously. "Made it myself. I would use tea or cider, but not everypony drinks the former and the latter's not meant for children."

Tempest rejected the beverage, clumsily using her hooves to set it aside. Not having a horn could be quite problematic, and even though she'd mostly gotten used to it the unicorn still had times when she longed to have it back or have something that would at least allow her to use magic again. She moved to sit down on the couch, locking eyes with Starlight. "You and I... we're a lot alike, aren't we?"

Starlight gulped. "I only saw you when you were invading Canterlot during the Friendship Festival. I've only got Shining Armor's word to go on for what you've been up to since the Storm King's defeat. And first impressions can be hard to shake off. Trust me, I know."

"That's kind of what I'm getting at," Tempest unhappily sighed as she kept her gaze directed at Starlight. "It feels like there's a hole inside me. Now that I'm not this horrible monster willing to make others suffer to ease my pain, there's a part of me that's wondering 'Who am I, really? For what purpose do I exist?' Obviously, I can't just throw myself back into the military, the royal guards certainly aren't going to accept a pony who attacked her own country. Never mind the fact that I basically was the reason why the Storm King was defeated."

"And I guess nopony really knows about this whole 'Nightmare Knights' thing you were a part of. Even Trixie says she can't talk much about it. And normally she's pretty talkative." Starlight replied, wishing more than anything that she'd been part of that group of former villains. Alas, she had declined due to having no desire to revisit her past again.

The hornless unicorn appeared to grumble, but her expressions were proving difficult to read. It was clear that Tempest was a tough nut to crack. Like she had her own set of defenses to hide her true feelings. "I guess what I'm saying is, it doesn't feel like I've really changed all that much. Even just patching things up with Glitter Drops and the rest of my old friends hasn't been able to fill that void in my heart. Sometimes, when I look in the mirror, I feel like I'm staring back at a total stranger. I knew it wasn't going to be easy to make the switch to good, I expected it to be difficult and for ponies to not trust me. I never imagined that I'd be the one having trouble," She let out another sigh. "I'm not even sure if you can really help me on this. I just didn't know who else to turn to. I couldn't tell Shining Armor. After he stuck his neck out for me, I don't want to burden him further."

"And what about his sister, Twilight? I think she'd love having you work for her. Even if she seems to have found a student of her own in the form of that mysterious Cozy Glow," Starlight commented. "I swear, there's something off about that filly, but I can't put my hoof on it."

Tempest turned away. "I thought about it, but do you really think I'm the kind of pony who should be trusted to be around children? Especially children of other nations? Queen Novo may trust Shining Armor, but I doubt that trust is enough to let the former second in command of the Storm King be in the same room as her niece. To say nothing of how the yaks might react, considering the Storm King used to terrorize them a lot. And did I mention we roughed up the griffons once? The Storm King lost interest when he found out they weren't as glorious as they used to be, nothing to steal or destroy."

"I've done some pretty bad things in the past myself, but everyone trusts me. I've even committed crimes that could count as treason," Starlight replied to Tempest. "If not for Shining Armor taking me under his wing, I'd probably be in a jail cell in the dungeons right now. I actually tried to rewrite history so I'd come out on top, and stripped ponies of their cutie marks so I could control them."

"But nopony ever actually found out about them. The same isn't true for my crimes," Tempest answered. "They don't have to say it, because I know what they're thinking: 'I shouldn't be free'. So what do you do when you start to believe all the things others say about you? What do you do when no matter how much you may want to believe you've changed and that you're one of the good guys, deep down you don't feel it? Like it's only a matter of time before you regress?"

"Sounds a lot like Princess Luna. I'm surprised you haven't spoken to her about this," Starlight giggled. "I hear that she used to beat herself up a lot over Nightmare Moon, to the point where she actually created this creature in her dreams to punish her. Luckily, she had ponies like her sister to help her snap out of it. And even Shining Armor himself has had doubts, he tends to internalize things often. I suppose it's partially related to his upbringing."

Tempest just gazed up at the ceiling, deep in thought. It was easier for her if she just avoided looking at anything in particular. "I guess maybe I'm just not sure who or what I really am. What I'm supposed to be. I'm done working for someone like the Storm King, letting a monster like him control my life and making me his puppet. That's the only thing I know for sure. Everything else is a mystery. Like my whole life is just beginning anew."

Starlight smiled. "Probably because it is. I even hear that Tempest isn't your real name, it's a name that you gave to yourself after you ran away from home."

"Yet even now, it feels like that name suits me more than my actual name," Tempest admitted. It looked like she was about to blush. "It's probably gonna be a long time still before I start calling myself by that old name again. When I truly know what that name means to me, and what that pony is supposed to be. Maybe it's tied to the Crystal Empire, maybe it's tied to Ponyville or Canterlot, maybe it's not even tied to any of those places or any one place at all."

Starlight stood up and trotted over to her fellow unicorn. "I think it's clear that these are problems you need to sort out for yourself on your own time. My advice: Set off on a journey of self discovery. Spend time doing things you've never done before, and try to find what comes naturally to you. Then, when you find what you're meant to do and where you're meant to be, you'll truly be a new pony. Or in this case, an old pony I suppose. It'll be like you were lost, and now you're found."

Tempest gave a firm nod as she once more looked Starlight in the eyes. "You know what? You're right! Nopony but me can determine what my purpose in life is! And the only way I'm going to figure out the answers to my questions, is to go out into the world like I did once before. This time, it won't be on behalf of someone else. For the first time in my life, I'll truly be on my own."

"But you'll still keep in touch with Shining, right?" Starlight suggested. "Even just a letter every once in a while?"

Tempest finally allowed herself to smile. "Of course, Starlight. I owe him that much."





And the very next day, Tempest set out on her journey to find herself. Before departing she made sure to write a letter, addressing to Shining Armor in the Crystal Empire. And the letter went like this:

Dear Shining Armor,

I'm grateful to you for giving me a second chance when no one else would. I'm glad I could help you calm the rulers when Queen Chrysalis kidnapped the students for her own twisted desires for revenge.

But after speaking with your student, I've come to realize that I must strike out on my own. To determine who I am and what I'm meant to do. So if you come looking for me in either Ponyville or the Crystal Empire, you will not find me.

I don't know where I'll go exactly, what I'll do, or who I'll meet. I'll try my best to stay in contact with you, and I hope you'll write to me often with news about your life. But don't try to stop me, don't send out search parties to look for me, and most of all don't tell Glitter Drops to wait around for me to come back. I suspect that, baring an emergency call from Princess Luna, I may not even be in Equestria.

One day though, I'm confident that I'll be able to come back and tell you what I've learned. That I've found the answers to what I currently seek. Until that day though, this is something I must do by myself.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Tempest "Fizzlepop Berrytwist" Shadow

Shining was saddened slightly by the news, but at the same time he understood. "What worked for Starlight and Sunset won't work for Tempest," He said to himself as he finished reading the letter. "Tempest is much more independent. I just hope that wherever she strays, she knows that there'll always be a home for her to come back to."