Gourmet Palate signed in annoyance. The head of the Royal Dessert Squad had stepped away from his station for one minute, and already everything was ruined.
"So, which one of you two wants to explain why my double deluxe fudge was ruined?"
Nick glanced up from the mixing bowl he had been scooping the unfinished confection out of. "Uh… I blame… Larry from the accounting department?"
Luna stopped licking the wooden spoon she had in her magic and glared at Nick with authority. "Do not try to pin this on some fictional human, Nicholas. Clearly, twas the fault of our sister, who left just before thee arrived, Palate. No panthers."
"Don't you mean 'no lyin', Luna? Also Celly's been in day court, so we need a better excuse."
"Oh, is that how the youths are saying it? We thought they were referring to jungle cats. Still, this new manner of speech we found is the explosive tunneling!"
"...really?" Gourmet shook his yellow head sadly, shaking his orange and blue striped mane out of his face. "Even I know the right phrase is 'bomb diggity'. Regardless, now I need to make a new dish before-"
"WHAT is taking so long, servant!? I ordered that fudge twenty minutes ago, and my plate is STILL empty! Some of us have massage appointments to attend to, you know!" Blueblood stormed in, and Gourmet took a worried step back. "Oh. Ape. You always ruin everything in my day, don't you? You know what? Why don't YOU make me a dessert in ten minutes or I'll have you tossed in the dungeons!"
Gourmet stared slack-jawed as Blueblood left. "Uh, Nick, you can't cook, right?"
"One time I thought the confectioner's sugar was the flour and burned a whole batch of cookies. Does that count as being a bad chef?"
"Verily. But with thy human culture, Sir Gourmet's knack of exotic ingredients, and Our cunning wiles, we shall ensnare our nephew in a trap that can only be an evil donkey!"
"Did you mean-"
"About time, ape. My patience was wearing thin." Blueblood watched as Nick strode out of the kitchen with a covered platter. "I hope you brought something acceptable, for your own sake."
"Actually, with Gourmet's help, I made something to boost that ego of yours! Behold!" Nick dramatically lifted off the lid of the platter, revealing the treat.
"I do not have an ego...but I am interested nonetheless!" The prince watched as the lid rose, revealing "...a shish kabob? That's it?" Sure enough, a single shish kabob rested on the platter, a few grilled vegetables drenched in a strange greenish sauce.
"That's it? THAT'S IT!? Your majesty, this is no mere shish kabob. This is an American tradition! I was reminded of it by looking at Gourmet's cutie mark. This, my dear prince, is the King's Kabob! Ancient legends from my country say that whoever can eat the whole thing in one sitting is worthy of being a KING!"
"I thought you said your Amareica was a democracy."
"That's only because no one's ever finished one of these," Nick replied, winking. He held it a little closer to Blueblood. "But if you became the human king, I'd have to do anything you said… you probably don't want that." Before he could finish, the treat was picked up in a flow of magic as Blueblood levitated it closer.
"And all I need to do is eat this whole thing in one go? Foal's play! Watch and learn, ape!" He bit off the top vegetable, and chewed it pridefully. Before long, though, sweat formed on his brow, and he looked ready to scream. His face turned red and he eventually swallowed, coughing up a storm. "SWEET CELESTIA! You filthy ape, what WAS that?"
"Oh, nothing much," Explained Nick. "Just a special blend of hot sauce, wasabi, and mashed habaneros with a hint of lemon juice. Why?" He looked innocently at Blueblood as the prince processed that information.
"Are you insane?! Who could possibly stomach a food that spicy?"
"The king, that's who. If you can handle the heat of politics, you can handle this heat. Give up?"
"N-never. You will bow before me yet, ape…" and with that, Blueblood took his second bite. And then, ten minutes later, he took his third.
It was over an hour by the time not a single morsel was left, with a large crowd having gathered to watch the final bite go down. Exhausted, and covered in sweat, he held the stick out. "Aha! I win, ape!"
"Wow, good work so far. Are you ready to declare yourself done?" Inquired Nick, while Luna and Gourmet snickered in the background. "If there's so much as a single visible crumb left when I take it back, you lose." Blueblood responded by taking the stick back and running his tongue over the whole thing to clean it of anything left before handing it back again. Nick took it and inspected the stick.
"I win, ape! Now, first, I want you to bow. Then you will clean my room, file my paperwork, wear a shirt saying I'm the greatest…"
Nick simply said "Nah." And walked away.
"W-WHAT!? But I am your king now!"
Luna fell over laughing. "He fell for it! He actually fell for it! This is the spider's elbows!"
Nick groaned. "'The bee's knees', Luna! Good grief… regardless. Blueblood, the challenge doesn't exist! And even if it did, you still would have lost! A true ruler needs to be ready to do things no being should have to do… such as finishing eating the kabob, including the stick! You lose, I'll be on the next train to Ponyville to lay low for a bit. See ya!"
"Aaaaaaaaape!"
As Nick ran off, laughing hysterically, with a furious Blueblood in hot pursuit, Luna kept on laughing. "Ahahahaha! Thou hast had one that moves at high speed towed into thee, nephew!"
Gourmet Palate rolled his eyes. "It's called pulling a fast one, Princess. Now if you'll excuse me, I have another batch of fudge to make."