//------------------------------// // ch6: first morning in horseland // Story: the gods known as "humans"? // by A lost anonymous //------------------------------// 1st pov: Vann I sip my mug of sweet chamomile tea as i lie on a mat under a Nipa gazebo on a beach resort. As i enjoy the beautiful scene of the white sand beach, gentle rolling waves, and the smooth swinging of the coconut trees in front of me, my four sarong-wearing waitresses came with a plate of the biggest five tier pink cake with purple and cyan frosting I've ever seen and laid it down on the table beside me. "thank you" i said while i kiss each of their left hand before they take their positions at the four corners of the mat With gentle hands, i slowly pulled the cake close to me and lifted a slice up to my face. and gave it a slow, long, tentative on the icing it taste like Lychee jelly: sweet, with a pinch of saltiness.. in short: just right for my tastes. i feel my maids poking their fingers at my face while i kissed and licked the entire lower tier of the cake. "hahah!! please don't!! it kinda tickles, and i'm trying to enjoy my meal here!" I told the maids but they wouldn't listen. not like i could care when my food tastes this good. as my food starts to secrete its sweet smelling creamy white filling between the tiers, the maid's poking intensify to the point it's starts to get annoying. i swatted a few fingers off, but they kept on going... to the point they began poking my whole body.. with my patience wearing thin, i decided to ignore it for the last time and took a slow, intimate bite on the lowest tier of the baked goodness the cake's screaming and sudden thrashing caught me off guard. ............... "LET ME GO YOU ANIMAL!!!!!!!!" a female voice screamed at my ear as my brain rebooted itself back into the waking world. "huh? Whu?? Whe-" my brain deleted my dream from its hard drive when a pair of hooves hit each of my eyes with lethal accuracy. While i felt no force being exerted to those limbs, the sharp edges of those two solid ends are more than enough to give my eyes a sting "OUCH!! WHAT'S BIG IDEA HUH??" i shouted as i rub my eyes in pain while the offender scrambled off my bed. Turns out, it was Starlight. With a visible bite mark on her rump, completely encasing her butt brand with teeth markings. "FIEND!!!!!! CARNIVORE!!!!!! PREDATOR!!!!!! PERVERT!!!!!! HENTAI!!!!!!!" she screamed while glaring at me with a beet red face at the far corner of the room while covering her self with her hooves like she's been stripped of clothing. I don't get it. She's already strutting around in public in her birthday suit. "may i ask? What are you doing in my room" i inquire my visitor as i continue to rub my stinging eyes. And right on cue, the pony priest: Father Sigil opens the door and enters the room "Starlight? What's taking you so long? I know you are not in good terms with Sir Vann but we need him to-.... Oh......" Sigil said as he stared down at me and Starlight. "HE TRIED TO EAT ME!!" "WHY WOULD I EVEN PUT ANY PART OF YOU IN MY MOUTH???" "YOU JUST DID YOU APE!!!" "Before you two start bickering, could we please get to the main issue?" Sigil asked as he broke me and Starlight off. "what issue" i asked as i looked out the window. Still dark out. "no thanks to you, Luna can't lower the moon right now. And since you're the only other option available, you'll have to do." starlight said in her usual annoyed tone. One of these days, i'm gonna bitchslap this mare. "as much as i would like to help you two, but a bit of a reminder: I don't know how to do that, Nor I know how to use magic, And what do you mean 'lower the Moon'? Isn't it supposed to do that on its own? I mean, it should right?" i asked the two mini-horses. "it may be in your world Sir Vann but here? The two diarchs of Equestria namely: Princess Celestia and princess Luna, controls the sun and moon respectively. And since we're yet to inform Celestia about your existence, we made a decision to use your abilites as a divine being to lower the Moon for today. Since we've seen you manipulate it with ease" Father Sigil explained to me. while the logic engine of my brain's trying to process the complete bullshittery it just heard from the mini-horse in front of me, my dumb side decided to go 'fuck it! thinking sucks!!' and convinced me to just roll with it. "okay then, what should i do?" i said. ................................. .................................. ............................................ "hello?" i asked as Father Sigil looked away with a hum and Starlight with a 'like i give a fuck' face. "you guys have any ideas how to lower the moon" "there were no books or tomes regarding of how to lower the celestial bodies. eventhough before the time of the alicorn sisters, it was said to be done by the unicorn's lodge but, their records have been lost to time" Sigil explained. "aww come on... Just swing those lanky arms of yours downwards like you're shoving down a blanket in a washing machine" Starlight butted in. As annoying as she is, she maybe on to something. Following her instructions, and remembering the stunt i pulled, i went back to my ancient Jedi training and gripped the moon with my hands. And slowly, pushed it down into the horizon. And quickly gave way to the rising sun. "hey... Ape... You still in there?" i heard Starlight behind me. "huh? Oh.. Yeah..." "there we go, the sun has risen. Why don't we head out for breakfast? I'm sure we are all famished after not eating dinner last night." Father Sigil suggested. "yeah... I could use some coffee right now.." i answered while holding my head. As we walked along the chapel's corridors my mind began to roll in data along with some questions as i scan both my surroundings, and the ponies in front of me. so this ain't a dream.... Or is it still is? Sheesh.... This is still a hard reality to cope with... somehow i'm in a world where humans are the same as the world i was from: apex predators... the only catch here is that there are more sentient creatures here than on earth... Father Sigil said that there are many more talking creatures here other than horses, And they all worship humans.... if these mini-horse greeted me in such a way when they first saw me, i wonder how would the other human worshiping creatures react if they saw me? adoration, fear, hell.... i could only imagine.... "something in your mind sir Vann?" Sigil asked in front of me. "Kind of... Pardon me but, what's with the brands on your ass cheeks?" "ass cheeks? Stable side has no donkeys staying or living here..." 'huh? Ohh right... These guys are horses' "i mean those marks on your rear ends" "Ohh you mean the Cutie mark. These symbols define the special talent a pony has. It appears when a pony has found their calling in life. Mine symbolises my affinity over summoning magic, while Starlight's about her skill in controlling raw mana." Father Sigil explained as he pointed at his butt mark. 'Wow dude... That's one hell of a tattoo' "Ohhhhhh... So it's like a résumé but, magical." "Per se" accounted the pony priest. "any explanation as to how we humans were discovered and looked upon as gods here in your world?" "unfortunately None. The existence of humans are known by all creatures in Equis. As to how? The only clue we have were the Quran of the Zebra tribes, the Bible of the griffons, the Elder Scrolls of the dragons, and the iron tablets of the diamond dogs. As to who authored them, no one knows" "And to you ponies? What made you acknowledge us?" "It was the book of Das Kampf. An old tome held by our kind even before the unification of the tribes. Each race had their own interpretation of it but, all define you humans as a godly species. There's even a legend where you humans were the ones who made the three tribes after our alicorn ancestors betrayed humankind but that's being debated till now." "Betrayed us?" "it's better you read it yourself. You can read right?" Starlight butted in as we walked along. "not your alphabet though" "Huh?" "Tried to read one book in the room I stayed in last night.... It's still the same weird text like the one the green pony showed me when i landed here" "Interesting..." Father sigil commented. "Well.. That was a bummer" starlight spoke. "And why is that" I looked at starlight "Your translation spell sir... It is rather.... Innovative. To say the least" Sigil said. "How so?" "You just said that you don't know magic Ape... You wouldn't understand" "And what's the connection between my translator and my inability to read your alphabet, lady?" "Geez ya primate... You're a privy one" "You guys said last night that I'm an OP boi here in your planet.. Knowing that I could whip up something new, that could potentially upset the balance of this world, political or otherwise, I have every right to know whether or not it'll be used for any nefarious reasons" "............huh......... So you have more than half a brain in that head of yours... That's a relief to hear." "Just what is your problem huh Missy? I've done nothing to you." "Please forgive my friend here good sir... Her relationship with the princess of the night is a little complicated" father Sigil said as he stood between me and the lilac brat as I closed the distance between us. "What? She's Luna's self-proclaimed lover or something?" "IT'S 'PRINCESS' LUNA TO YOU YOU DISRESPECTFUL ANIMAL! DO NOT FORGET THAT SHE IS A ROYALTY OF THIS KINGDOM!! AND YOU ARE JUST AN ILLEGAL ALIEN HERE!!!" Starlight yelled behind Sigil 'Huh..... I might have struck a nerve on her. Better struck some more...' I thought. "She's more than just 'the princess' to you isn't it?" i said as i stared down at her as her face turned slightly red before hiding it behind her mane I'm pretty lucky that these horses are barely taller than a golden retriever ".............that's none of your concern human...." she shot back at me. Barely a whisper. "Back to the original topic at hand, we truly wish we could explain to you the details good sir. But it is what starlight said.. You're new to the world of magic so explaining the spell you just accidentally made is too complicated" Sigil suddenly voiced out a little louder than normal in an attempt to defuse my heated argument with starlight. "Alright alright fine... But any chance either of you two would teach me magic?" "I'll be honored to Sir Vann" "Not on your life monkey" "Yeah yeah yeah I know cous for some re-" I failed to finish my sentence when misstep the stairs and fell.. Luckily, one of my companions materialized a tree branch out of the wooden wall beside me to grab onto. Saving me from an embarrassing scene which starlight would most likely laugh at. "Thank you father Sigil" I said as I pulled myself back up the stairs. And see both ponies are looking at me with an expression of mild shock. "Are you sure you don't know how to use magic?" My salty lilac unicorn said as she eyed the tree branch with curiosity. "Neither of us conjured this branch good Sir...." Sigil commented beside me... "Sooooo..... I made this?" In said as I looked back at the branch. I pulled a leaf out and sure enough, it's alive. Trailing back to its base, it's showing that the branch is actually GROWING out of the wooden wall. Like the wall itself is a living tree until recently. "I think we all should get a proper breakfast before we begin some research" Father sigil chimes in as he appraised the branch. "If that research is about what I can do with this 'magic', I'm in." I replied as the the extremist brain cells within the left and right lobes began murdering each other. ..................... A few minutes later, we arrived at a luxurious dining hall somewhere inside the chapel. And I'm starting to wonder how on earth does this all fit in a chapel? And how much money the enclaves are making to be able to afford having such luxuries? Starlight pulling out a chair, and Father sigil sitting on it was a bit strange for me but, I didn't ask about it. Not a few moments later, a group of ponies came pushing trolleys filled with food came in from the two adjacent doors. Eyes still glowing green like from last night. Their eyes were ignored by my brain as it focused my eyes to the food on the trays. Expecting a hearty breakfast filled with bacon, pancakes, maybe a cup of java rice or two (don't blame me!! I'm an Asian so of course I'll crave some rice). And to my utter disappointment, it has nothing but leaves, (even the bacon is clearly, made of tofu.) with a few flowers, and some mashed potatoes. Well at least they got eggs. "Bless us o Faust, and this thy meal, Which we are about to receive, From thy bounty, Through the maker, our lady, Faulshion...." I heard Sigil praying while his front arms are spread, angled downwards like a wedge Of course they would have a prayer here.... "Hey monkey. A quick question: what made do what you did last night?" My ever graceful lilac horned pony asked as she took a seat right of Sigil's. "Which one: the first meeting? Or second meeting?" "Both... In that order" "Huh... Oh right! My first thoughts on meeting you and your crew were that you guys are a group of bandits trying to wreak havoc" I stated. "Of course you have prejudices" she replied with an eyeroll. "Hey don't blame me Lady!! Black armoured, bat winged, and cat eyed ponies suddenly flashbanging you and putting you in a anti-sea bear circle ain't a good way to be introduced to. And in my defense, I took the peaceful approach and it worked in my opinion." I laid it down thick on Starlight. "Excuse me. 'Peaceful' approach? You nearly killed on of our princesses monkey." "Do I look like I know that was gonna happen? Missy I never had any superpowers till I came into your world!!" A hard object hitting a solid flat plane broke our bickering. Me and Starlight simultaneously looked at the source of the interruption and saw the pony priest: clearly pissed off with organs pulsing around his face and yet, giving us a gentle smile. "Could we just enjoy our breakfast? Please? And Starlight, could you be a dear and take a tray to princess Luna? I'm sure she'll be glad to see a meal ready for her when she wakes up. Oh and take a tea set with you" Sigil calmly suggested with a smile (with a psychotic smile ready to wring up mine and Starlight's neck) Faster than a bullet, the lilac mare jumped off her seat, levitate a tray and quickly egressed the dining room. Leaving me with an angry male horse with a stepford smile. "Sorry Father" I spoke with a barely contained fear. "You better be" Sigil replied. As they distribute the plates among e two us on the table, my mind replayed my fall, and subsequent salvation by the tree branch. All while staring at the vegan bacon in front of me. With the scene from a certain movie playing on loop in my head, I gazed upon the bacon. The pathetic imitation of a glorious meal. And slowly clasped my hands below my chin.... I closed my eyes, aimed my palms at the abomination, and imagine the true bacon in all of it's fried, red, and greasy glory. I felt the winds pick up around me as I encase the bacon within an imaginary cylinder, lifted it off the porcelain plate, and with all of my focus into it, ran a ring throug the bacon's length. Slowly turning it from an object of heresy to all meat lovers, to the divine meal only eaten by kings and victors I could faintly hear Father Sigil's awed voice, and the windows being forcibly opened by the wind swirling around the vegan bacon as it is brought to salvation from the corruption its makers brought upon it When I opened my eyes to see my handiwork, I saw not just a real pork bacon, but the fact that there ere two magic circles on both ends as it is levitated a foot off the table and being shined on by a golden ray of light coming out of the ceiling. As if the gods of this world themselves has bestowed upon me this meat. "Impossible.... A new type of hex.. Not even the Element of magic has ever achieved such a thing.. No.... Even the diarchs could not make one......." Father Sigil murmured as he stared at the floating piece of meat in front of me. Honestly, my mind was once again... Ceased all functions as my logic engine showed the blue screen of death due to the braking of the laws of physics and common sense. Thus putting my crazy side to just say 'forget it.... You did that for the bacon yes?' And just ate the aformentioned meat in mid air. After the blessed breakfast, I decided to try again the magic I just learned, and start experimenting on the utensils near me. And at the corner of my vision, I see Sigil conjuring up a book and pen and began scribbling on in while looking at me. At this point, the left part of my brain is pretty much shot up to even ask any questions and group my collected spoons and forks together. And just like before, I aimed my palms to the objects, not closing my eyes this time, and use my Jedi training to order the atoms to do some cardio without using heat. And surprise surprise!! It worked. The silver utensils melted like butter on a hot pan. As I looked on, I put my palms up and lo and behold! The mercury like metals floated on mid-air and balled itself up like water in zero-G. "Damn..... I wish I had this back at the office" I said to myself as I converted the ball of metal to a piston, spanner, and a knife. Which surprisingly, took little to no effort to do. Which is too good to be true for me as the remnants of my left lobe began reminding me of all of my engine designs that never took off due to the manufacturing team saying: this is too simple!!, this is too complicated!!, make it smaller!!!, it cannot be built!!. Well news flash Mr. Putri with a-fuckin-D!!!!!! I'll prove to YOU and your bandwagon of smelly vegans that IT COULD BE DONE!!!! AS SOON AS I GET USED TO THIS POWER!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! I monologued as I stared down at my work... Till a cough knocked me out of my daydreaming of vengeance Do you know that feeling when you were a kid? When you know you have done something so bad, you know your mom is gonna go apeshit for it? Or that one time you messed up a company project so hard, you now have a 90% chance of getting fired? Yes... That feeling.... When I looked a the peon who dare disturb my internal speech, I came face to face with a dark blue big horse with both a horn, and wings attached to it.... Then it all came back to me.... The horn touch, the attempted murder, and Starlight's warning... My inner wage slave took over my whole conscience and smashed my head to the floor in front of the Princess of pony land.. "I AM TERRIBLY SORRY YOU MAJESTY!!!!!! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE A PRINCESS!!!!! I SWEAR I NEVER KNEW I COULD DO SUCH A THING BEFORE I CAME TO YOUR WORLD!!!"