//------------------------------// // 4. Daleks Have No Concept of Dentistry // Story: "Daleks Have No Concept of Friendship!" // by RainbowDoubleDash //------------------------------// The answer to Soldier’s query had, regrettably for her, been ‘yes’, although her commander had ordered her a second hay burger and fries, and a refill on her soda…and another refill…and a third hay burger…and something called onion rings…and another refill… Soldier had been somewhat slower to eat all that, wanting to savor the sensation, the taste, as much as possible. She had also been forced to slow down by the simple fact that her stomach could only contain so much matter, in fact she had probably pushed it to its limits, if the somewhat painful sensation down there was any indication. She had also continued to be just as messy, largely thanks to her not yet knowing how to utilize the telekinesis of the unicorn tribe. “That will take practice,” Twilight Sparkle informed Solider as the once-dalek-now-unicorn tried to concentrate on her soda cup and lift it with the power of her mind. It wasn’t working. “Unicorn telekinesis isn’t like eating or walking, it takes time, and you’ll probably want a pony to help you with it.” She smiled. “Maybe Rarity! She’s one of my friends. I think I can lift more than her in terms of mass, but Rarity’s got the most precise telekinesis out of anypony I know, and she’s really good at juggling a lot of stuff at once.” Soldier gave up on lifting the soda cup telekinetically, and instead simply pulled it forward with one front hoof – an appendage that probably shouldn’t have been useful for grabbing given its shape. Soldier wrote it off as prior experience with her suction-arm from the Mark-III travel machine. After taking a long draw of her soda and its SWEETNESS, draining the cup of its contents, she looked at the empty table, then back to Twilight. “I am full,” she stated. “I don’t doubt it,” Twilight responded. “I guess that really was your first time eating…” Soldier attempted to stand, and succeeded after a rel, though she felt the mass of food shifting in her stomach as her barrel went from being basically vertical to evenly horizontal. Even as she did, a thought occurred to her. “The food I consumed would have contained many chemical compounds that this body would not be able to integrate,” she observed. It was one of the problems that the creator, Davros had seen fit to do away with when creating the Daleks; the Mark-III travel machines provided only useful nutrients and matter. Twilight nodded. “Yup. The digestion system is pretty efficient, but it can’t get everything.” “Then there is a mechanism by which the excess matter is expelled?” Twilight Sparkle, quite suddenly, went stock still, her eyes going wide. Very slowly, her eyes drifted to look at Soldier. “You…you said you’ve never eaten before.” “Correct.” The corners of Twilight’s mouth turned up, but somehow the expression did not, to Soldier, seemed to match what she understood a smile to look like. “Oh no…oh no, that means that you’ve…you’ve never…” “I have never seen to the expulsion of excess matter from my body.” Twilight was still for a few rels more, before suddenly bursting into action, wings beating furiously as she leapt from the table, grabbed Soldier by one of her hooves and jerking her away. “Ohhh-kay, we’re going back to the library – ” Soldier felt the food inside her shift at the sudden pull of Twilight dragging her out the door. “Commander!” “ – and I am going to whip up a memory spell or something for that – ” Twilight had risen into the air and was carrying Soldier along outside, but she was an unsteady flier and Soldier was now swaying back and forth and up and down with each wing beat. And the food in her stomach shifted rapidly with each wingbeat. And her new body did not care for that at all. “Commander, I – ” “ – because no way, nuh-uh, I am not going to be teaching you how to do that – ” Soldier felt a spasm starting in her stomach, then her chest and throat as the food all shifted in one direction: up. “Twilight Sp – ” What followed was a rapid series of events that Soldier couldn’t exactly follow, as there were too many new sensations, or at least new ways of experiencing familiar sensations, at once. But essentially, it boiled down to Soldier projectile vomiting onto Twilight, Twilight letting out a shout of fright and disgust and dropping Soldier, and Soldier falling to her hooves, failing to keep her balance, and smacking her mouth against a light post. --- “I am so, so, sooo sorry,” Twilight Sparkle babbled a little later as she and Soldier sat in the waiting room of a dentist’s office. “I just – I mean, you just startled me, and with what you said, and I still don’t want to teach you, uh, that, so I’ll get to work on the spell as soon as we get back, it won’t take too long to whip something up, we’ve got a few hours, just need to make sure that nothing’s too bad and I am soooo sorry…” “Daleksh hagh ho conshept ohh aholohies.” Soldier responded around the wet cloth that was stuffed into her mouth. One end of it was stained with red, but after taking it out of her mouth and inspecting it, she found that she had stopped bleeding. With her tongue, Soldier prodded at one of her front teeth, finding it jagged where it had been chipped...though the sensation was worse with another of her teeth, which had not chipped but would now wiggle painfully in her mouth. “Does it still hurt?” “Yes.” “I’m sorry!” Soldier wished that she had taken the eye-crystal from her Mark-III travel machine with her, she badly wanted to look into it as she might the ocular sensor of another dalek, searching for a second opinion as to the fitness of her commanding officer. “Daleks have no concept of apologies,” she repeated. At least Twilight Sparkle’s magical abilities had included a cleansing spell that had wiped the vomit from herself and Soldier, though some of the smell lingered. She poked at her loose tooth a little more. “The event was instructive. I now know how to expel excess matter from my body. I require no further information.” Twilight once again became very still, as she had at the restaurant. Soldier couldn’t help but flinch at the memory, or rather the memory of what followed, and felt her stomach turn again. Twilight at least noticed the effect she had, and calmed down. “Um…ha…see, that’s, um…actually not how a pony normally, uh…does that. Wrong, uh…orifice. Wrong end.” Soldier paused at that, then looked down at herself. Twilight Sparkle looked up at the ceiling and, pointedly, away from Soldier. Soldier’s confidence in her commanding officer, already running thin, plummeted further. “Explain! Explain! EXPLAIN – ” “Miss Sparkle?” A voice – the attendant for the waiting room – interrupted. “We’re ready for you now.” “Oh thank Celestia,” Twilight mumbled as she stood up from the chair, turning to Soldier while another member of the dentist staff waited to escort them. “Soldier, I promise I’ll…think of something, we’ve probably got a few hours before your body, um…but, yeah, first let’s get your teeth fixed.” Soldier stood, following Twilight, though her head was down in thought. That she would have killed for a proper heads-up display for this body was a given, had it not conflicted with her standing orders from Princess Celestia. After this latest incident, however, Soldier was starting to try and piece together how to do so without violating those orders, since she badly needed to understand her body more than she did. It may have changed, but she was still a dalek in mind, still a genius who, given enough time and sufficient resources, could probably build a singularity bomb to destroy the planet under her hooves even with the available technology. A heads-up display should be easy… “Alright, here we are,” Twilight said as their escort opened a door into a small room containing a chair with a light over it and surrounded by rotating, small tables, as well as rows of cabinets. It looked, to Soldier, like a torture chamber, but Twilight proceeded inside without any concern, and Soldier felt compelled to follow. Twilight’s wings ruffled a little. “I’m always a little nervous at the dentist’s,” she said to Soldier, smiling. “Foalhood memories always come up…I mean, now I know that dentists are just trying to help, but at the same time I don’t think anypony likes their mouth being poked and prodded…” “Daleks do not like anything.” Twilight laughed, though Soldier couldn’t guess why. After a few rels of waiting, a blue-coated unicorn mare with a cutie mark of an hourglass on her flank came in, a clipboard hovering in front of her with her telekinesis. Soldier felt a pang of another new emotion, jealousy, at the sight. That heads-up display into her body would probably aid with the acquisition of magic, too… “Right,” the unicorn said, glancing up. “Nice to see you again, Twilight, and good to meet you…Soldier? Yes, hello. I’m the doctor.” Soldier’s mind and body froze, and she felt an unpleasant sensation travel all the way down her spine. “Doctor?” She asked. “Yes, the doctor,” the unicorn continued without concern, looking back down at her clipboard. “Doctor Minuette. I’ll be your dentist…we’re having quite a bit of trouble getting your records from Canterlot, Soldier…” Soldier found her body involuntarily letting out a great exhalation of air as she fell back onto her haunches. “A doctor,” she said, realizing her error…which, given how recently she’d encountered the Oncoming Storm, would have been understandable even if she had still been pure dalek. “You are not the Doctor.” Minuette glanced back up to Soldier, frowning. “Now what’s that supposed to mean? I’ll have you know…” she pointed to the wall, on which hung a piece of paper in a frame, “that that says I graduated from the Canterlot School of Dentistry, I’m perfectly – ” Twilight stepped up. “Doctor Minuette, Soldier probably didn’t mean anything, she’s just…she’s been having a rough day.” Minuette – Soldier refused to append the pony’s title to her name, even in her mind – sniffed a little in derision. “It took quite a bit of effort to get that,” she said, nodding. “Years of work.” “And I’m sure Soldier’s sorry,” Twilight said, turning around to look at Soldier. “Right?” “Daleks have no concept of – ” “Soldier,” Twilight interrupted. “Apologize, now.” Reflexively, Soldier found herself on her four hooves at the tone, the commanding tone, of Twilight’s voice. “I am sorry!” She exclaimed to Minuette. Inwardly, Soldier felt her fear at the Oncoming Storm brushed aside momentarily, replaced with…elation? Yes, that was the right word for the feeling. A command! A proper command! Finally! Yes, for something that no dalek would ever, ever, ever do under its own volition, but… Minuette seemed taken aback at the force of the apology, but recovered quickly. “Yes, right…a rough day. I can see that.” She took in a breath and let it out, before indicating the chair. “Right then, miss Soldier Dalek, was that your name? Please take a seat so that we can get a look at the damage.” “I obey!” Soldier exclaimed, and immediately went over to the chair and settled down into it, lying on her back with her front hooves tucked against her chest and hind ones stretched out. Minuette did not immediately come over, instead going to a sink in the room to wash her hooves before slipping some form of protective covering over them, then carefully making her way over to Solider on her hind legs only so as to not spoil the sanitation of her front hooves. She settled into a chair of her own next to the one Soldier was in, and got to work. “Ooh, this must have hurt…” Minuette said after a dozen or so rels, hoof gently poking at Soldier’s injured teeth. She started on the chipped one, poking at where some of it had gone missing. “Does this hurt?” “Ho,” Soldier intoned, meaning to say no. Her meaning came across, at least. “Didn’t think so, looks like it didn’t go to the root. I could file it down a little to smooth it out, but that’ll happen naturally over time. Or I could repair it, but that is quite costly…” “I’ll pay it,” Twilight said instantly. “It’s my fault, it’s all my fault, it’s the least I can do.” “Oh, that’s nice of you, but that’s not the one I’m concerned about…” Minuette warned. “Now, as for the other…” her hoof moved slightly, and wiggled the other tooth. Soldier couldn’t stop herself from wincing…compared to what Soldier had felt in her life, the pain was essentially nothing, but it was also still new, having teeth that hurt. Minuette tsked. “That’s no good at all. I’d normally want to x-ray to be sure, but I’m certain it’s cracked somewhere under the gum. Most likely it would have to come out.” Twilight put her two front hooves to her mouth for some reason. “Oh no…Soldier, I am so sorry, but I’ll pay for a replacement tooth, a fake tooth, they make really realistic looking ones these days, or maybe…” “Ah, not to worry,” Minuette said as she leaned back, pulling off the coverings on her hoof and stepping back to the cabinets, opening them up and rooting around through them. “I did say normally, didn’t I? Fortunately I have something here, gift from a friend. For a friend, more like. He did give it to me but it was sort of implied that he’d probably be the most likely benefactor of it…ah, here we go.” She came back over with a small vial filled with clear liquid. “Right, Soldier, give us a smile, and don’t lick…” Soldier complied, exposing her teeth, and Minuette tipped the vial over, carefully pouring out just a couple drops onto Soldier’s teeth. She waited, but nothing seemed to happen. She poked at the loose tooth with her tongue, and found it still wiggling slightly. “Your attempt has failed,” Soldier stated. Minuette frowned, looking at the vial, then sniffing it. “Huh, odd. It’s worked like a charm in the past...must be expired, or was there something else I was supposed to…? Well, nevermind.” She put the vial back. “Replacement tooth it is, then, though I can’t do much until we get your dental records from Canterlot. Until then I recommend at least removing the tooth. Don’t want it to get infected, after all! Might not leave you with a very good smile for the moment, but…” Twilight shifted from where she sat nearby, fluttering her wings a little. “Um…will that, uh…take long? We’re sort of…under a time limit today, have to get back to the library soon.” Minuette tsked again. “I’m worried about infection, or that other teeth could have been damaged, but as long as you have good mouthwash at home and Soldier doesn’t eat anything too hard or cold, she should be fine for a day and there won’t be too much pain. I wouldn’t wait much longer, however, that tooth has got to come out.” She looked to Soldier. Soldier looked back to Twilight, who shuffled from hoof to hoof. “Um, well…Soldier, you decide. Do you think, um…think you can hold it for a few hours?” She waved at her abdomen, and Soldier knew what it she was referring to. “I currently feel no need to expel – ” “Okay!” Twilight interrupted. “No need to go into detail. Um…how about this. I’ll leave you here, go home, get to work on a memory spell that’ll…” Her cheeks started turning a different color, a vibrant shade of red. “That’ll use every one of my memories of…of doing that…to teach you how to do it. It shouldn’t take long. And meanwhile doctor Minuette can remove your tooth.” “I obey!” “I am just made of questions right now,” Minuette said. “Well, not literally, I suppose. But in any event, you’ve made the right choice, Soldier Dalek. Is that your name? Just a sec, let’s just get you x-rayed so we can see what the damage is...” she lifted her clipboard again and took a pen into her mouth, scribbling on it, “...thaying.” She frowned, one hoof to her mouth as she regarded Soldier, then removed the pen. “Could be worse, could have landed on a rusty nail.” “Correct. That would have been worse.” “Right then, off we go...” --- Twilight Sparkle left, and Minuette guided Soldier from the office and down the hall, to another room containing a large x-ray device, on which Soldier would lay her head and the device would create an image of her skull. There was a partition for Minuette to stand behind while using it, but she didn’t. “Only low-level x-rays, the danger is overstated,” she explained as she worked the device. There was a whirring from the machine as it charged up. “What is the maximum output of this device?” Soldier asked, curious as to its potential as a weapon, or torture device. “Oh, very low,” Minuette said. “Very low, and we won’t even be turning it up all the way. If you’re worried about cancer, it only makes your risk of developing it go up by an infinitesimal fraction of a percent.” Soldier balked. “I…was not. Daleks do not develop diseases, but…” That was a definite downside to her new body. Before, barring violence her lifespan had been essentially infinite. What was it now? Something else to work on. “And you’re a dalek?” Minuette asked idly as she brought the machine around, framing Soldier’s head. The whirring sound increased now that Soldier was so close to it. “What is a dalek, anyway?” Soldier shifted. “The superior form of life. But no. I am not a dalek. I am a pony…now. It was...the only way to survive.” She couldn’t rotate her head at the moment, but she turned her eyes to look at Minuette, who had a pen in her mouth as she wrote something on a clipboard. “I do not wish to continue this discussion. It will cease!” Minuette glanced up at her, removing the pen from her mouth. “Oh, fine. I don’t know what’s going on, which is very unusual, I normally consider myself to be quite well informed and experienced. But you seem harmless enough. And it’s always something with Twilight and her friends. After a while you learn to just shrug and say, ‘that’s Ponyville for you’.” The whirring of the machine stopped, and Minuette removed it from around Soldier’s head. “Right, just a few minutes to print-out the x-ray, then we’ll get to work. If you behave you may even get a sweet after this. Lolli, gumdrops, jelly fillies…” She grinned at Soldier. “Call it insurance to make sure you keep coming back.” Soldier didn’t understand why she should do that, instead electing to wait in silence while Minuette produced the x-rays and examined them. Inwardly, having been starkly faced with the limitations and downsides to her new body, she found herself designing a new system that her body could inhabit. A suit with gravitic induction locomotors, it would be easier than walking. Integrated cybernetics into her body that would give her a superior understanding of what was happening to her, what it was doing, at any given moment. A weapon for self-defense, of course (it could only be self-defense, sadly, given her standing orders). A travel machine, she realized as Minuette took her back to the office, lay her down on the chair, applied a numbing anesthetic to her mouth, and got to work. She was designing a pony-shaped travel machine, in essence. Although it would have to be extremely primitive given the available level of technology, more along the lines of a Mark I than a Mark III, but it could certainly be done with what she had observed, and once it was complete she could perhaps start figuring out how to upgrade to Mark III levels. And then she would be safe. She would survive. And yet, at the same time, Soldier found herself shivering at the thought of locking herself in a travel machine again. Never to taste, to touch, to smell, to feel... ...well, she could always include access ports. And...exit ports. She could feel a slight pressure building up towards her hind region. Very slight, but it did not take the genius of a dalek to realize what it was heralding. She actually found herself hopeful that Twilight Sparkle would return soon, despite her commander’s earlier failures that had damaged Soldier’s body. Everything about inferior life forms was disgusting, of course, but Soldier had a feeling that the expulsion of excess food matter from her lower orifices was going to be especially so. “There, all done,” Minuette said, bringing Soldier back to the here and now. She held up a small vial, in which sat the two shattered pieces of Soldier’s tooth. “I had to cut your gum open to get at this, then stitch it back shut, nothing much, and the stitches will dissolve on their own in a few days. I’m prescribing some pain killers for when the anesthesia wears off. Stick to softer foods like mashed potatoes and bread for the next week or so. Rose?” Soldier started, looking up. Minuette was holding forth a purple-colored box, in which were a collection of tiny objects wrapped in foil. “Chocolate, chew with your back teeth only,” Minuette said. “The caramel barrel is my favorite.” She picked out a gold-foil object and unwrapped it, revealing something small and brown. The unicorn pony grinned. “Ordinarily I wouldn’t offer something like caramel, but aside from the front two your teeth are in better condition than any I’ve ever seen before. Good behavior should be rewarded.” Without waiting for Soldier to respond, she popped the small object into the once-dalek’s mouth. She might have objected, but the rel the chocolate hit her tongue she found herself instead letting out a low groan. Instinctively she bit down, and the chocolate barrel cracked open, releasing its contents...a deluge of sweetness, a sticky, cloying, gooey goodness that causes Soldier to just slump from her sitting position, melting like the chocolate and caramel in her mouth. Perhaps the expulsion of excess food matter from her lower orifices would be worth it. The intake was certainly showing no downsides as of yet, at least as long as she refrained from violently shaking about and vomiting. Minuette’s smile continued. “Ah-ha, I knew you’d like roses. Take the box with you. But don’t overeat! Don’t want to ruin the perfect teeth.” “I obey...” Soldier intoned, squirming a little as she swallowed the chocolate and caramel. It glided down her throat smoothly. “Very good. Let’s get you checked out then, miss Soldier Pony née Dalek. And welcome to Ponyville.” --- Soldier had mostly obeyed. Minuette had not defined what “overeating” meant with the rose chocolates, so Soldier decided to define it herself. She would consume a rose only once every hour. Except the first four. Those she ate immediately, and discovered new flavors in the process, vanilla and fudge and orange. Yes, her Equiform Travel Machine Mark-I was definitely going to include access ports. Chocolate was a superior form of food. Unfortunately without any records from Canterlot - Princess Celestia must still have been in the process of fabricating them - and so Soldier was left with nothing to do but wait in the waiting room once more for Twilight Sparkle to sort things out. She had an orange chocolate rose in her mouth - and was getting looked at somewhat coldly by Minuette, perhaps she was in fact “overeating” - when the door to the dentist’s office opened. Instead of Twilight, however, a brown-coated earth pony stallion came trotting in, saddlebags over his back. Soldier noted that the cutie mark on his flank, a golden hourglass, was identical to Minuette’s, and wondered at the significance. “I’m back,” the stallion said as he came up to the desk that Minuette sat behind. “Really strange time down in southern Equestria, made a nuisance of myself for a bloke named Ahuizotl. I brought you back...this!” From his saddlebags, he produced a mask of some variety. “Good thing I found it, too, it does this thing when there’s stuff and the stars are right. Spoke to Luna about it, she’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.” Minuette seemed to take the pony’s mannerisms in stride, though she did glance at Soldier. “Of course, love. Maybe drop it off at the house?” “Oh, I will of course, just wanted to show you. Hello, who’s this?” He had turned to look at Soldier. “New pony in town? I didn’t miss the Pinkie Party, did I?” “I do not know,” Soldier responded. “No,” Minuette added. “Pinkie is out of town right now. No doubt there’ll be an extra large party to make up for it. And you should really wait ‘til then to introduce your - “ “I don’t see why,” the stallion said, holding out a hoof to Soldier. “I’m the Doctor, by the way. What’s your name?” Soldier stared at the hoof. Her mind instantly went to her earlier mistake. “Doctor what?” She asked. “Just the Doctor.” “The Doctor?!” The stallion’s brow furrowed a rel. Then his eyes widened. “It can’t be...” he mumbled. The recognition was enough. This was him. This was the Oncoming Storm...here. In Equestria. Part of Soldier wanted to blast the Doctor with her energy weapon dialed up to its maximum setting...but she didn’t have it anymore. Part of Soldier wanted to throw herself bodily at the Doctor and start beating him, for being the one responsible for her being here...but she didn’t do that either. Instead, she ran for her life.