Starlight walked through the cabin hall of the Immortal Dream, switching her shadow cloak on and off. On the one hoof, Glimmer had just plainly told her getting comfortable with the Nightmare Modules would lead her down a path of more power and less satisfaction... something she wasn't entirely sure she understood, but trusted anyway. On the other, she did want to sneak around since Felicity was technically against her right now, and the shadow cloak wasn't even a spell she had gotten from the altar pool. It felt more comfortable, like it was hers, somehow.
She settled for wearing it. Finding Felicity didn't require going far; the older mare was in the library, sitting as professionally as she could and talking with a slightly worried Maple.
"This isn't the first time this has happened to Starlight," Maple was saying, trying to keep a frown off her face. "I know this magic isn't good, and it's not something either of us are comfortable with, but it does happen."
"But there's never been any indication she would misuse a position of power?" Felicity pressed. "No indications of dishonesty, fascinations with goddesses, no-"
Maple's face hardened. "You don't know her like I do. Starlight hates standing out and being treated differently than others, even if it's better than everyone else. But she still tries as hard as she can to be her best self in spite of that because she cares about us and she sees us trying too! Even though power scares her. Starlight would never act for her own gain."
Felicity let out a breath, a new concern written on her face. "Well, that's why I needed to ask someone who knew her better than I did to be sure. I... need to let her go, and hope she forgives me." She got up to leave, then looked over her shoulder. "And Maple? You tried your best to make it sound like a good thing, but never being willing to act for one's own gain is... ahem... usually a bad sign when it comes to being in a healthy state of mind."
Starlight dropped her shadow cloak, standing right in front of Felicity and waiting for her head to turn.
"Yeeep!" The batpony jumped back with all four legs flailing, landing and panting with wide eyes. "Oh my heart... What... How... You surprised..."
Starlight winced. "Sorry!" Ears pressed back, she instantly felt a spike of regret: that was not the best way to make up with a pony who didn't trust her. "I was just listening, and..."
"Starlight?" Maple blinked, glowing with leftover harmonic energy from purging Yanavan.
"How...?" Felicity held a wing to her chest, looking unsteady. "I stunned you. How did you get out?"
"I don't know. It wore off." Starlight swallowed. It was technically true... "Sorry... Are you alright?"
Felicity grimaced. "I really ought to be resting and recovering, darlings. That battle wasn't good for me, and it already takes far longer than usual to get what hoofing I have."
Maple bit her lip, torn between who to address. "Starlight, are you alright?"
"From her?" Starlight glanced at Felicity. "Yes. From everything else, I don't know..."
Maple walked over and held her close. "Can I help?"
Her mother's fur felt almost hot against Starlight's coat, the way room-temperature water felt against frozen hooves after one had adjusted to the cold. Starlight couldn't help herself; she burrowed her face into Maple's chest, knowing she should probably check on Felicity more but badly needing this right now.
"Mmm," Maple agreed, putting a leg around her back. "And Felicity? It takes far longer than usual for you to recover?"
"It's a long story, darling," Felicity apologized. "Suffice to say that my health in general is not the greatest. And... Starlight, however this may have gone down, I am terribly sorry, and tried to act in everyone's best..."
"I forgive you," Starlight mumbled, interrupting. With some effort, she tore herself away from Maple and hugged Felicity's chest instead. "Now go to bed. I don't think I can do whatever I did to help the other batponies again."
"You're alarmingly innocent," Felicity murmured, not moving to return it... until Maple joined too. "Both of you," she corrected. "I... Thank you. It must have been a better world, in the west where you come from."
Maple shook her head. "No," she answered simply. "It's just better where we're going. That's all of our dream, isn't it, Starlight?" She leaned down and breathed in through Starlight's mane. "We might not know where or what it is until we get there, but we're here because staying in Ironridge and Riverfall wasn't good enough."
As much as Starlight appreciated the gesture, Glimmer's words suddenly came back to haunt her. Before Maple left Riverfall and Valey left Ironridge, she left Equestria... Was she inspiring her friends to look for something better? Was she the reason none of them could settle down with their lives?
"Ha. Well, I wish you luck with that." Felicity broke away, finally leaning on the wall and walking down the hall. "But I don't think I have any more avoiding rest in me. Do come visit sometime if I'm not awake in twelve hours or so. Especially you, Starlight. I really am curious about what you can do."
Starlight and Maple watched her leave, Starlight wondering if she should offer a shoulder and knowing Maple was thinking the same. But Felicity had her pride, and soon enough was gone in the dim shadows.
"Hey, you," Maple whispered, coaxing Starlight toward a library chair. "What are you thinking about?"
Starlight hesitated. "Lots," she admitted.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Yes. I think." Starlight swallowed. She knew that was a lie. What she really wanted was to be held forever, to have someone light their horn and make the world a simpler place where she didn't have Nightmare Modules or wing muscles or friends who didn't trust her to worry about and more. She didn't want to talk. Talking would be painful. Talking would start with what she had been about to do with the harmony extractor, force her to dance around Glimmer... Glimmer had released her from Felicity's monk arts. There was no possible way a hallucination could do that. She would have to tell Maple about her doppelganger, who knew far more than she would tell.
She'd have to talk about the Nightmare Modules. About how she had all six, and was much more powerful with them, about how she could use them to keep everyone safe. And then about how she couldn't, because Glimmer said she needed to learn to draw lines and she could end up like Chauncey or Yanavan if she tried to stay moon glassed for too long. And telling all of that would hurt. She didn't even know why it would, just that something like this had to... but the world wasn't a simpler place, and this was the only way to get what she wanted.
"Can we?" she asked again. "I... Not here, but..." She glanced around. Valey was the other pony who was invested in her reaction to moon glass, and she would prefer her to be there too, but... that involved waiting for Valey to get back with Yanavan. And according to Glimmer, by then would be too late. "Our room?"
"Our room," Maple agreed, climbing to her hooves.
Before they could go anywhere, the sliding sound of the deck door greeted them from above, and talons clacked against wooden boards. Gerardo Guillaume peeked around the staircase, crest perking slightly when he saw Maple and Starlight. "We're back," he announced, respectfully keeping his voice down. "Hah. I figured you'd be resting. Would you mind following me to the deck? We have a new prisoner I'd love to get the story on."