//------------------------------// // Chapter 10: Blind Date Danger // Story: Tales from the Second Age of Magic // by VeganSpyro97 //------------------------------// The sun was shining in the clear skies of late Spring, and the township of Ponyville was worried. Normally this would be the fault of any number of their wacky citizens and important individuals with terrible senses of normality. There was the resident Princess, who was prone to overthinking and over complicating things when the mood struck her, her group of friends, each just as capable at causing mayhem as they were at stopping said mayhem, a literal Chaos god, a humanoid with still mostly unknown and developing magical abilities, three headstrong fillies who had become, in the space of a few weeks in their foalhood, household names for the chaos they caused. Thankfully, the reason for their worry was actually because NOTHING had happened, which was so rare and altogether unheard of these days that it was usually taken as a sign that something was ABOUT to happen. Rarity didn’t care one bit either way. She was too busy walking through town in a very un-ladylike manner that suggested that perhaps SHE was the thing that was ABOUT to happen. Her ears were drooping and her normally pleasant smile had been replaced with frown, her mascara was running, and her gorgeous mane was unkempt and more resembled a bird’s nest than her usual, swirling coiffe. She passed by numerous places in her sorrowful wanderings, passing by the train station, where she saw a young looking mare with a delightful pink mane and a pale, creamy white coat head off in the direction of Sugacube Corner with a giddy smile. She later saw that pony again, laughing and chatting with Pinke as they headed back to the station, probably for some party they had both been invited to, no doubt. Rarity wasn’t much interested. “Whoa there, Sugarcube!” The familiar voice of Applejack sounded just beside her, startling her out of her reverie. “Y’all look like somepony slapped ya in the face on the way outta bed. Y’all okay?” Rarity was sorely tempted to ignore ‘Jack and trot on by, but her mouth opened before she could stop herself. “Spike and I decided to try going on a date.” Applejack frowned, stepping in front of Rarity and squarely into the fashion pony’s field of view, her right eyebrow shooting up in that way it always did when she was confused, incredulous or otherwise annoyed and unconvinced of something. “But y’all look ‘bout as happy as a fish in a drought, so I’m guessin’ it didn’t go well?” Rarity shook her head. “It….did go well?” “We had a positively wonderful evening, darling. We went out to dinner, we talked and laughed...he was an absolute gentlecolt.” “This story don’t make a lick o’ sense with that face ya got.” Applejack returned, taking a moment to push her hat and bangs back out of her eyes. “Where’d it all go south?” Rarity sighed, sitting down heavily- in the middle of the road, no less- and looked up at her strong friend. “He...he was actually quite mature. He realized that while he finds me attractive, he…..well, he doesn’t believe that a relationship between us could work, what with there being the matter of our age-” “WHAT?!” Applejack cried, eyes first widening, then narrowing again like a pair of out of control curtains. “But- but- He’s loved you forever!” “Yes, and I’ve been quite nasty to him over those years.” “Nasty?! How have y’all ever been nasty?!” Rarity grimaced, using the back of her fetlock to wipe away some of her running mascara, leaving a dark grey trail on it. She wrinkled her nose in disgust at the blemish in her appearance, before she gave her friend a response. “You know all those favours he does me?” Applejack narrowed her eyes. “Yeeah?” “I may have…..manipulated him into doing some of those for me.” “You did what?” Applejack stared at her, aghast. “You used his feelings- like-.....Honestly, I don’t know what that’s like, but that’s bad, Rare! That’s really bad!” “I know.” Rarity hung her head in shame. “And I don’t deserve someone like him because of what I did. He’s growing into a fine young dragon, regardless of my connivances. It’s just…..after all the time I’ve spent chasing after this dream of the ‘perfect stallion’ he’s the closest I’ve ever gotten. And I ruined it before he was even old enough to want me that way.” Applejack grimaced as Rarity’s shoulders started to shake. She knew what was- “I’M A BAD PON-YYYY-YYY-HHYYYYYY!” Rarity wailed, dramatically, for all of Ponyville to hear. Yes, there it was. The traditional Rarity Melodrama. “Alright now, Sugarcube, that’s enough of that.” Applejack used a single hoof to lift her friend off the floor. The Earth Pony gave her friend an encouraging smile. “Look, you did something’ bad. Big deal. You intend to keep doing it?” “Well…..no.” Rarity admitted. “A lady should never repeat her mistakes, after all.” “Then y’all ain’t a bad pony.” Applejack stated, brushing the road-dirt off of Rarity’s flank. “Y’all just, did a bad thing, learned yer lesson and are gonna make up for it, right?” “Oh, I don’t think I can just brush off what I did-” “Oh, quit bein’ so dramatic for five seconds and move on.” Applejack deadpanned. “I’ve known ya for a good long while now, and the one time y’all went all overboard with bein’ mopey, it was me an’ the girls fault in the first place. Just figure out how to make it up to Spike, and we’ll figure out that stallion problem, together.” Rarity’s mouth fell open in astonishment. “You? Getting involved in romance? My goodness! Who are you and what have you done with the Applejack I know?” “Stuffed her in a barrel.” Jack deadpanned again. “Look, I may not be comfortable with ‘frou frou mushy romance stuff’ like you are, but y’all are my friend, y’all have a problem, and I want to help my friend. Ergo, I’ll step outta my comfort zone in order to help ya out.” “Oh, Applejack.” Rarity swooned- again dramatically. “You really are a good friend.” “Alright, come on now.” Applejack said, leading Rarity away from the scene of her crying fit. “Let’s get y’all home before ya embarrass yerself some more.” ******************************************** “So, I took the liberty of sceduling a buncha blind dates for ya. Searched far and wide for willin’ participants- and by that I mean anyone I could find in and around Ponyville- and told ‘em all to come to this here restaurant to meetcha!” Applejack said proudly, puffing her chest out a bit in pride. “Hope y’all are ready, Rare’s.” “Applejack, darling!” Rarity gave what she hoped looked like a confident smirk. “I was born ready!” The farmpony shook her head as her brain did what it always did, easily spotting the lie- not that she needed to really pay attention, with how badly Rarity had delivered the line in a shaky voice. “Look, sugarcube, if ya don’t wanna do this-” “Not another word, darling!” Rarity cut her country friend off with a mane-flip and a winning smile. “You’ve been so generous, setting this up the last few days. I simply cannot let it all go to waste now!” “Then get out there, gir! Get!” Applejack chimed with a hearty shove, sending Rarity stumbling out of the restaurant’s back-room door and into public view with all the grace of a hay cart with a broken wheel and a drunk driver. Thankfully, no one actually saw the arrival of the mare, so fixated on ordering and delivering meals as they were. Taking a moment to quiet her nerves with a deep breath, Rarity steeled herself and crossed the floor to the table booth by the window that Applejack had managed to rent for the night. Sitting in the seat on the other side of the table than the one she’d selected, was one stallion Rarity had never thought AJ would call on. Big Macintosh. The quiet stallion was dressed in a tuxedo she recognized- she should, since she’d made it for him herself- and looked very presentable, with his mane combed and coat brushed impeccably. No doubt Applejack had badgered her brother into this level of perfection, since she knew how much of an annoyance being in anyway messy could be to Rarity when the mood struck her. It was a bad habit, but it was a hard one to break easily. As she sat down opposite him, he looked up, managing his usual, charmingly relaxed smile. Oddy enough, it helped her to relax as well. “Hello, Big Mac. I hadn’t expected you to come to this date.” Rarity greeted politely. She would be polite to every soul that ended up sitting at this table tonight. Applejack was no doubt telling the other hopefuls to wait their turn right now. “Have you, uh…..dated since you and Fluttershy broke up?” “Nope.” The one word answer she had expected. “Not really.” Ah, slight elaboration, a definite improvement on a single word. “My apologies for being so forward with that question.” Rarity felt her cheeks flush in slight embarrassment. “It’s just that I know the both of you so well….” “It’s not a problem. It was a good break up.” The brevity of his responses certainly reminded her of the story that Applejack had told her about their teenage years, and how much Mac had talked back then, and why he didn’t now. Rarity would have probably heard him talk herself if she had actually visited the farm more. “That’s good to hear, darling. I’d hate for there to be bad blood between you.” “I’m just glad she found somepony. Miss Shy deserves a good pony beside her.” Rarity nodded in agreement, taking a moment to take a sip of the restaurant’s complimentary water. She broke away from the conversation for a moment to scan the menu. She wasn’t familiar with this particular establishment, but that was because it was very new. She could still detect the lingering smell of fresh plastic coming from the laminated menus. It was when she saw the prices that her head whirled. Applejack was paying for all of this!? That was not fair to the poor dear! Not when Rarity had more than enough money to pay for it all! “My sister is a good mare, Miss Rarity.” Big Mac’s voice pulled her eyes back off of the menu. “I know she’s payin’ for all this. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t agree with this plan.” “But you don’t have any sort of feelings towards me, do you?” Rarity asked, her eyes searching his face as he replied. “As a friend, I value you deeply, Miss Rarity. You and your friends mean an awful lot to my family and this town. But I’m not interested in that sense, no. I’m sorry that-” “It’s alright dear.” Rarity quickly held his hoof in hers and gave him a smile. “You’ve certainly helped settle my nerves. And it’s always nice to talk to a friend, especially one you should talk with more often.” Mac smiled back, nodding. “I know I’m pretty quiet, but if you ever want to talk, you know where to find me.” “Thank you, darling.” Rarity beamed at him, then let go of his hoof. “I’ll be sure to drop by more often!” Mac nodded, and then took a moment to finish his water, then, with another, gentle smile, bowed his head, and left. “Well, it may not have been an instant success, but if every stallion to walk through those doors is as well mannered as Big Mac, this should be a good night.” Rarity declared. *********************************************** “I like to think of myself as an honest buisiness partner, Miss Rarity.” Filthy Rich droned. “I need somepony in my life after my divorce from Spoiled.” Rarity bit her lip at the prospect of being involved with the stallion. It wasn’t so much him that was the problem, since he was genuinely a good stallion, but all the baggage he carried with him. A daughter, for one, an angry ex-wife for another, being in a business partnership with Sweet Apple Acres would have her loyalties torn every time there was an argument, and, worst of all: she didn’t fancy him. Another bust. Next! ************************************************* “Think you could use me in your business? A good mane stylist goes well with fashion! Helping you out might help Rainbow loosen up around me.” Rarity ground her teeth at Zephyr’s ridiculous attempt to upstage Applejack’s date night and turn it into a job interview for himself. The ambitious little- NEXT! ********************************************** “..............This is just embarrassing….” Rarity sighed as Bulk Biceps galloped, shrieking, away at the sight of the Restaurant’s butterfly logo on the napkins. How he hadn’t seen the one above the door, she had no idea. ********************************************* “So…...how are you doing today?” Crimson said, woodenly, his eyes never leaving the menu for more than a second at a time, and very infrequently. “I’ve not tried this stuff yet. Is it good?” “Uh, darling? You do know this is supposed to be a date, don’t you?” Rarity asked, taking in his relaxed, loose, informal attire that contrasted horribly with her immaculate green dress. She’d actually found herself more in favour of the colour, after dating Spike. He did pull it off well. The only issue was her blue eyes and cutie mark contrasting poorly with it, which did still irritate her. “A date? Is that what it is when friends go out and eat? That’s what this is, right?” Rarity groaned and slammed her head into the table. ********************************************** Holding the ice pack to her head was just making everything worse, especially since her headache was just made worse by doing magic, meaning she had no choice but to use a hoof. Davenport was nice, but all he wanted to talk about was how every last creature that came into his shop kept asking the same question about why he only sold quills and sofas. Also, his taste in deodorant was akin to a young colt. Ghastly. ************************************************** Rarity’s hopes for the evening pretty much tanked the moment that Time Turner got to his fiftieth minute of waffling on about Derpy’s constant clumsiness, the irregularity of people who bought his clocks, the times when people ignored him, simply because he had, and she was quoting him here; “just had one of those faces that ponies didn’t listen to.” “And then I made them all run away by daring them all to let someone else try first- I mean, they all hated each other as much as they hated me, so why not try, right?” Rarity necked her wine glass with a noncommittal shrug. ***************************************************** “I mean, come on, baby. Every mare likes some o’ Lane’s thunder! You’d enjoy some of this tappin’ that flank!” “GET OUT, PERVERT!” ***************************************************** “The food’s good, but it ain’t no pot of jelly.” “Just pass the wine, darling.” **************************************************** “Hey baby-” “I SAID OUT!” ************************************************* “.........................” “You did realize that I’m not a little school filly, didn’t you? You’re a lovely young colt dear, but you’re a little young for this.” ************************************************ “Is this the interview for the junior chef position?” “Wrong table darling. Would you like some wine while you wait?” *********************************************** “Hey-” “I WILL THROW THIS BOTTLE AT YOUR HEAD! I SWEAR BY CELESTIA’S SWEET FLANKS!” ********************************************** Applejack sat down heavily across from Rarity, a sad frown on her face. They’d gone through every last suitor in Ponyville, and now, at the tail end of the night, the pool was exhausted, leaving two rather melancholy mares, one of whom had already had quite a large amount of wine, leaving her a little unfocused and blurry eyed. The farmer sighed, before she pulled the nearly empty bottle of wine to her and upended it, barely even tasting the fruity beverage before it was gone. “Thanksh…..” Applejack blinked, lowering the bottle and staring at her white-coated friend. “May not have worked Applejacks, but thanksh for trying…” Another sigh left Applejack’s lips, her eyes downcast. “Eh, I just wanted you to have somepony by your side who was willing to do whatever it took to make y’all happy. Y’all deserve it, ya know.” Rarity hiccupped, a giggle squeaking out of her muzzle, along with the smell of grapes and the salad she’d eaten for her proper meal. “Your shush a good friend….” “Shucks, I’m just tryin’ to do what’s right by ya. No need to get all mushy on me.” “Hee hee, shucksh…..” Rarity chuckled. “How…..how much of this bottle did you have, Rare?” “H-*hic!*-how mush wash left?” Applejack looked at the now empty bottle. She’d barely had any of it. “Uh….maybe one glass?” “Then I had all the other glashes.” Rarity tittered, trying to stand up. Applejack was immediately there to stop her from smashing her face into the floor. “Landsakes, Sugar! And here I thought that with all those parties and events you go to in Canterlot, you’d have a higher tolerance for this stuff!” Applejack braced herself against Rarity’s shoulder to keep her upright, and started leading her home. “Everything’s spinning………..” Rarity mumbled, suddenly reversing the direction of her downward plummet. Applejack actually had to dive to the floor to catch her friend and carry her on her back through the Ponyville streets. Rolling her eyes, the farm mare carried the fashionista all the way back to the boutique- only to realize that Rarity had lost her keys at some point, and that Sweetie Belle was currently out of town with their parents. Grumbling, Applejack rolled her eyes and made the decision to go back to the farm instead. At least she could get in there. Misfortune hit them on the way back though, as they happened across a group of ponies with very unsavoury intentions, grinning and holding pocket-knives. “Your friend there looks rich.” The leader said, stepping forward and pointing his knife at Applejack’s throat. Rarity groaned where she lay draped across Applejack’s withers. “Why don’t you just hoof over her valuables, and we’ll let you be on your merry way.” Applejack’s eyes were dangerously narrow slits. “Sure thing, sugarcube.” She snarled through her gritted teeth. “Just lemme put her down over there, and I’ll get ya what y’all are askin’ for.” The unicorn stallion motioned with his knife, towards a fencepost by the side of the road, and Applejack obliged, calmly walking over to it with Rarity, before lowering her down onto the grass before the post, taking a moment to make sure she was in the Equine Recovery Position, before standing back up, and, with a single hoof, straightening her hat. “Alright now, get us our bits, and we’ll leave you two ladies alone.” Applejack snorted, muscles tensing. “Ya know, if me and my friend’s situations were reversed, you might have had a chance of that line workin’.” “Wha-” There was a sudden crunching sound as Applejack’s back hooves met his chin, and his head snapped back, carrying the rest of his body with him as he soared high in the air, to land in a puddle left over from the rain two nights past. His knife clattered down in front of Applejack’s hooves, which, in a flash of magic, were suddenly covered in metal greaves, the summoning stone she’d retrieved from the brim of her hat when she adjusted it pulsing twice as it activated. “Now.” Applejack growled, glad that Twilight had continued modifying ad refining her friend’s armour and weapons from Vancouver. “Y’all can try what he did, or, you can pick him up and get outta here while I’m feelin’ generous.” The remaining, would-be-muggers chose wisely, turning tail and galloping away down the road, not even bothering to help their friend. Applejack watched them go, before she went and checked on the stallion, making sure his mouth and nose was clear of the water, before dismissing her gauntlets and hauling Rarity back up and continuing on homeward. “You’re my hero…..” Rarity slurred, as they reached the farmhouse. **************************************** Applejack woke up warm and comfortable, wrapped up warm in her blankets as the roosters crowed outside, spurred on by the dawn. She twisted her head to look at the familiar view out of her bedroom window, smiling at the prospect of starting a new day. As she went to get up however, she realized that something rather warm, and very much alive, was in the bed with her, draped across her body. “Aww, for the love of- Winona! I told ya a thousand times that ya ain’t allowed on my-” Applejack stopped as she saw what her bed covers had pulled back to reveal. Her face went scarlet red. It only got worse when Big Mac and Apple Bloom appeared at the door, took one look inside, and started laughing. ***************************************** “I am so sorry, darling!” Rarity apologized for the hundredth time in a row as Applejack walked her home, having finally managed to track down the spare key to the boutique that she had given Applejack during her trip out to Manehatten when she had gone with Pinkie and Maud to look for a location for her next store. For some reason, neither one had gotten around to returning it or asking about it. “That was so embarrassing! Your siblings won’t stop talking about this for weeks, and then everypony else we know will be sniggering behind our backs!” “Calm down, Rare.” Applejack admonished her friend with a shoulder bump. “Both Bloom and Mac know that there are some things you keep to yerself. I dare say they know it better’n you do.” Rarity looked a little guilty at that. Her reputation as one of the town’s gossips was well known, to the point that newcomers were given warning ahead of time. “Well, I guess this is the end of our little adventure.” Rarity concluded as she reached the door to the huge Carousel that housed her and her business. “Thank you, Applejack, dear. For everything.” “Aww, shucks. Tweren't nothin’.” Applejack said, rubbing her left foreleg with her right. “Well….despite the lack of success, I dare say you deserve a bit of a reward for all your efforts.” Rarity said, not meeting AJ in the eye, and twirling her mane through her hooves. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she wanted so badly to just….to just…. Oh screw it. Applejack, who had paused halfway through turning around to head home, quite suddenly found a pair of lips pressed against hers. She stood, frozen, for quite some time, long after Rarity had sped inside with her cheeks on fire, and slammed the door behind her. The farm-pony raised a hoof up to feel her cheek, and found it flushed and warm. She bolted. *************************************** Applejack tried to distract herself the entirety of the next week, but Applebuck season was winding down, and winter was on it’s way once again, leaving the farm devoid of much of it’s usual work. Sitting on the porch, she thought she had found a solution. Her guitar, an old one passed down to her from her ma, was clutched in her hooves. She twanged a single string once…..and the effect was immediate. Magic bubbled away in her heart and head. She had to sing. *************************************** Rarity stared at the keyboard before her. A relic of her short lived, but greatly enjoyed disco phase, it had gathered dust for years in her attic-loft. Now it stood, a little worn, but as pristine as the day she had first gotten it. She pressed one key, and the effect was immediate. She had to sing. ************************************** Somewhere in Canterlot, a pair of ears pricked up, one whose owner had not felt the stirring in her chest in so long. “Kibitz, Raven, is my schedule clear at the moment?” ************************************** “SONG TIME!!” Pinkie bellowed in her room. Good thing she had her drum-kit out already! ************************************* Applejack started strumming, a quick, light collection of notes, at about the same time as Rarity started to press the keys on her board, a small smattering of notes that complimented the strings in a calm, yet energetic collaboration. Pinkie’s drums started up not much later. Unknown to them all, their voices rose together in tandem as the words came to them, three instruments and four voices rising together, apart. The first voice to start belonged to Rarity:    “Here I am, face to face, With a situation, I never thought I'd ever see, Strange, how a dress, can take a mess, And make her nothing less than, beautiful to me It seems like my eyes have been transfigured Something deep inside has changed They've been opened wide but hold that trigger This could mean…... Daaaaaangeeeeeeer………. I'm falling in love, Falling in love, Falling in love, I think I'm, Falling in love, Falling in love, Falling in love, With an Apple Farmer…..” Celestia, sat in her chambers, her eyes fixed on a small town in the valley beyond her window, took up the next chorus. “What? What the hell is this? You expect me to sing about her? Don't care about her It's just a little make-up, Cellie, wake up I'm mistaken-” Applejack felt the words suddenly burst from her mouth as she took over from someone else, a giddy grin on her face at the thought of Rarity. “She is the hottest mare I've ever seen! Now, because she's like a mare I've never seen! Don't know how I couldn’t have forseeen….. This could mean…….. Daaaaaaaangeeeeeeer……” Celestia jumped back into the song with her voice raised to the heavens, her thousand year old mask lying in shattered pieces around her as she sang the words her heart yearned to sing, her voice matching Applejack word for word, until they reached the last line. “I'm falling in love, Falling in love, Falling in love, I could be, Falling in love, Falling in love, Falling in love, With a pink maned baker……./a dressmaker……” Pinkie and Rarity sang the next part, a single line identical between the both of them. “I wanna let her know/oooooooooowwwww.” They sang together. “I feel so queasy….” Pinkie chimed. “But I can't let it show/ooooooooowwwww….” Celestia and Applejack rang out, voices quivering. “She'd laugh, "Poor Filly!”.” AJ cried. “Come on,” They all called in perfect unison. “Rare!/Pinkie!, Jackie!/Cellie!, You gotta let it gooo!!! You gotta let it gooo-ooooooo!!!” Rarity and Celestia started up their reprised choruses only a moment later, all the instruments still beating out the melodies rhythm for them all. “Here I am, face to face, With a situation, I never thought I'd ever see, Strange, how a dress, can take a mess, And make her nothing less than, beautiful to me.” Pinkie joined in for the second half of Rarity’s chorus at the same time Applejack jumped onto Celestia’s. “It seems like my eyes have been transfigured, Something deep inside has changed! They’ve been opened wide, but hold that trigger, This could mean….. “WHAT? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!” Celestia yelled, her surprise directed at the feeling of euporia that sprang from within, the most genuine, goofy, romantic smile on her face the whole time. “I want to sing about her, sing about her! I want to make-up, Pinkie, wake-up, I’ve been mistaken….. Halfway through that chorus, Applejack joined Celestia again, strumming her heart out on her guitar, not content to sit anymore, but instead standing on her hind legs and playing for the world from the platform of her on front porch. “Sheeee, is the hottest girl I’ve ever seen, Now, because she’s like a girl I’ve never seen, Don’t know why, I couldn’t have forseeeeeen…. This could mean……” Once more, four voices rose together in the morning air, joined together, but separated over so many miles. “Daaaaaaaaangeeeeeeerrrr! I’m falling in love, Falling in love, Falling in love, I think I’m falling in love, Falling in love, Falling in love,” “With Princess Celestiaaa……” “With an Apple farmeeeeer…..” “With a pink bakeeeeer…..” “With a fashionistaaaa……” “Daaaaaaaangeeeeeeeerrrr!”