//------------------------------// // Or, Springtime for Chrysalis // Story: A Canterlot Divorce // by democritus //------------------------------// A Canterlot Divorce or Springtime for Chrysalis: A Story of Emotionally Broken People "Shining Armor, can we talk?" "Uh, yeah, I guess. What's up, Cadance?" "I don't know, it's just that you seem so... distant, lately. You spend a lot of time in the library after work..." "Oh, yeah, that. I'm doing... research." "Oh? On what?" "Something about those Changelings... it's nothing important, alright?" "No, it's not alright. If it's not important then why do you spend so much time on it? I barely see you anymore! Every day you go to that library until you can't stay awake!" "Look, I keep you and your aunts safe and pay the bills. I can spend my time how I want! Anything else, Mi Brontolonea Cadenza?" "...Are you fed up with me?" "What?" "Is there someone else, Shining Armor!? Is my love not good enough for you!? Is the love that saved Equestria not good enough for you!?" "What the hell? Are you serious? I spend a little too much time in the library and you accuse me of that?! Are you out of your mind, Cadance?" "You're my husband and you don't want to spend time with me! I mean, I'm... we're going... What are we even married for?" "That's a good question." "Wait, Shining Armor! Where are you going? Come back here!" Twilight Sparkle had an inexplicable feeling of deja vu. It was the perfect weather for a picnic, she thought. A fine afternoon for relaxing and eating cake and drinking tea with her friends. "It is gorgeous out! Just gorgeous!" Rarity had said. The feeling only got worse as a result. She didn't realize quite what it was until Spike ran up to them, out of breath. Spike tried to speak between breaths. "Twi... light... I-" "A letter? Just hand it over already." Twilight replied. "How did... you know?" Spike handed her the letter. Twilight began reading it despite the confused looks from her friends. "'Princess Celestia cordially invites you to the divorce of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Shining Armor?!' Spike is this kind of some cruel joke?" "I wish it were too, Twilight, but Celestia's dead serious. She has a second letter explaining just that. And here's yet another one." Spike handed a third letter to her. "'Dear Twilight, I am sure you are as excited as I am about the upcoming divorce in Canterlot. I will be presiding over the proceedings, but would very much like you to help make sure everyone is in their Sunday best!'" "What in the hay is this?" Applejack exclaimed. "They seemed so happy together!" Fluttershy said. "The giant heart-shaped aura of love was a fairly good indication of that, I think." "If their love was powerful enough to do that, how did their marriage not last three weeks?! What the hell did I do a Sonic Rainboom for?" Rainbow was practically foaming at the mouth. Twilight sighed. "Look, I don't know any more than you all do. I know something has to be up, and I'll get to the bottom of this. I'll tell you as soon as I know what's going on, okay?" Pinkie Pie seemed unfazed by the gravity of the situation. "Oh! Oh! Bring us some souvenirs! They have some great sweets in Canterlot!" "Do divorces require as fancy dressing as weddings?" Rarity asked. "No, they're like any other court procedure. Fancy suits and all that." Twilight replied. Rarity looked down. "Oh, I'll never beat those fancy Canterlot suit places. Do you know what they do to anypony who tries to muscle into their turf? I'll miss Vented Coat..." Pinkie bounced in front of Twilight. "Oh, court? Then make your souvenir the judge's gavel! I need something to bonk Gummy on the head when he tries to eat my pancakes!" "I... I can't make any promises Pinkie. I think I need to leave as soon as possible. See you girls later!" Twilight ran home to prepare for the trip. Rainbow took an angry bite out of her sandwich. "I can't believe I wasted a whole Sonic Rainboom on a sham marriage!" "Look at the bright side, Rainbow dear! This day is still gorgeous!" Rarity replied. "I hafta agree, Rarity." Applejack said. "I ain't gonna let those silly Canterlot ponies ruin this wonderful day." Fluttershy nodded. "It is wonderful, isn't it? I wonder who fucked a weatherpony this time?" Normally train rides to Canterlot were exciting for Twilight. She got to see her parents, her brother, her mentor and princess, and even her favorite foalsitter. Normally she'd go and have the kind of fun only a big capital city wherein she had personal connections to royalty could provide. Today was not normally. Staring at the majestic Foal Mountain, but not taking in the sights, Twilight's mind began to wonder. Cadance and Shining Armor. The princess of love and her devoted knight. They are perfect for each other, Twilight thought. They were both kind, caring, brave, selfless, ...rich... everything a happy couple should be. They literally repelled an invasion with their love. Twilight just couldn't understand it. What went wrong with her brother and the princess? Princess. The word kept coming back. Twilight hadn't really dwelt on it, but since her brother wed a princess, wasn't she herself a part of royalty now? A niece to Celestia herself? She shook her head to clear the thought. Though it sounds fantastic she really had nothing to gain from it. She was already Celestia's personal student and that was enough for her. She couldn't help but wonder if the rest of her family felt this way. Whatever, she'd find out soon enough, so she pushed the thought aside. But she knew that something had to be up. The announcement came out of nowhere, and it involved the grandest couple in recent history. She shuddered, this cannot just be between her brother and Cadance, could it? Someone just has to politicize... the marriage between the only princess to not be over a millennium old who was actually interested in marrying, and the captain of the Royal Guard and a member of one of Canterlot's most powerful noble houses. Probably the most powerful now. This might mean half of the royal court was in on this, trying to sway ponies one way or the other. She looked at the clock. All this introspection had filled all of 6 minutes. Normally train rides to Canterlot didn't feel like they took so goddamn long. The initial rush of adrenaline from the announcement was wearing, and she felt herself getting sleepy... The jerking motion of the train stopping in the station awoke Twilight from her nap. She got her suitcase and stepped off the train. Canterlot was the same as ever, despite her heavy heart. Ponies on business going to and fro, some with their noses so high it's amazing they didn't tip over. She remembered that when on royal business, usually an official would be waiting for her on the station. Looking over the station for any armored-clad guard that would normally be there, a ratty cardboard sign immediately caught her attention. The owner of the sign was none other than Princess Celestia. "Twilight, my faithful student! So glad you can make it!" Celestia said with great cheer. "Princess, what is the meaning of the letters?" Twilight said. "Simple, my faithful student. For whatever reason my niece and your brother just aren't happy together any more and have asked to be separated. I know, shocked me too when Shining Armor walked in asking for the annulment." Twilight stopped. "Wait, Shining Armor started this?" "I know, shocked me too." "Ugh, Princess, shouldn't you be taking this more seriously? This isn't any old divorce! This is your niece and my brother!" "Equestria's been around for a while, hasn't it?" Celestia started. "I have over 30 generations of family members, and trust me, not all of them were peachy. If I let every marriage dispute they cooked up get to me, I'd have been a wreck a millennium ago! They're always "blah blah blah alimony" and "blah blah blah legally entitled to large portions of the royal treasury" and sometimes "blah blah do I keep my barony?" Just because it's my niece instead of an 8th cousin once removed doesn't make it any different from the ones before, or the countless many that will invariably follow, does it? It's still a relative and some pony mad as hell about something or other in their most likely empty marriage. I know it's hard now, but eventually you get used to people trying to marry in to my family and shit falling apart over something stupid and everything ending in tears because somepony didn't sign a prenup. "Though I have to say, an invasion did make the wedding part a bit more exciting this time than usual, at least." "...I think I'll go talk to them about this," Twilight said, taking the excuse to break from Celestia and run towards the palace. "Have fun with the relatives! Commemorative t-shirts will be in the courthouse lobby! Only eight bits each!"