Tonya poked at her corn flakes with the spoon she had strapped on. She didn't have much energy this morning. It wasn't for lack of sleep since she went to bed early last night, nor was it any sort of physical weariness or drowsiness. It was just a complete lack of enthusiasm for the day. She knew a lot of others had a nervous excitement for today, but she couldn't bring herself to feel it.
Across the kitchen table from her Sunset had her spoon held in her magic to one side as she levitated a piece of buttered toast to her mouth and had a paper report levitated in front of her to read. Without even looking at what she was doing the unicorn opened the refrigerator door and pulled the milk from it with her magic before shutting the door again, opening the gallon, and then pouring herself a fresh glass of milk.
It always bewildered her that Sunset complained she was weak. Sunset might not cast powerful spells, but she was no magical lightweight. Tonya felt pride in how skilled a mage her wife actually was. All the more impressive since Sunset had to learn magic from the ground up as a middle aged adult. If Tonya was half as adept at learning pegasi magic as Sunset was unicorn magic she'd probably be captain of the weather team instead of a counselor. It wasn't even completely natural talent; Sunset was just that dedicated to her craft and working to understand it. There were many who had more natural talent than Sunset, but there were few that had her commitment to improving their abilities to their limits and willing to put the time and effort to do so. Tonya sometimes wished she had a quarter of that dedication.
Maybe after everything was done with these temporary transformations she should try to improve her own weather abilities more. She needed to start taking more after her wife's example. Thinking about how much Sunset worked to get better at magic made Tonya feel a bit lazy in comparison.
"You've been really quiet and look down this morning. What's wrong?" Sunset asked as she set each of the things she was levitating down and looked at Tonya.
Tonya frowned. "I'm thinking about my visit to Velvet last night."
Sunset nodded. "I've been waiting for you to say something about it. I was letting you broach the subject though. I take it that she's not doing well."
Tonya nodded. "That's one way of putting it. It wasn't her previous depression, at least, her depression alone wasn't enough to push her over the edge. What she went through was really traumatic for her. It was horrifying to see how she conceptualized it."
"Being human is a horrifying thing in my humble opinion," Sunset said slowly. "I admit that I didn't expect anyone's reaction to be that bad."
"I don't feel like it's safe at all to use the same version of the spell on Amanda and Tom. It's just not right or ethical," she replied in a firm tone.
Sunset grimaced. "I share your concerns, but if we keep the time frame limited that might work out still. You know we already alerted them of the possible dangers and they insisted on using this version. We need test subjects and have to do some compromises to get them. You can try to talk sense into them again before we conduct the test. I have already designed a modified version of the spell if they agree."
"You could just refuse to have the experiment conducted with this version. We know it's not safe," she said in a firmer tone as she banged a hoof against the table. The hoof was the one that had her spoon strapped on it and the utensil went flying out of the strap and onto the floor.
"Tonya, the public demonstration is tomorrow. I can't afford to do that," Sunset said as she slumped back in her seat. "We can push for better versions after that, but we need something to show tomorrow. If I can get ponies interested with a good showing I can get more ponies who might be willing to do an improved version-- and bad as it is to say it this way-- show Amanda and Tom to the door."
Tonya laid her ears back. "Sunset... that's just cruel. It sounds like you're just using them and tossing them aside."
"If they aren't going to let me do a better version of the spell that's exactly what I'm doing," Sunset said then took a sip of milk as Tonya stared wide-eyed at what she was hearing. Sunset looked back at her when she finished her milk. "It's for their own good. If they're going to subject themselves to a spell that might have the effect that you describe Velvet experiencing I can't use them long term. I'm not being cruel, I'm being merciful. They can hate me for it if they like."
Tonya narrowed her eyes. "Are you at least going to tell them that you intend to do the spell as is today and tomorrow before banning them from its further use, or are you just going to use them and drop them without a word?"
"Do you think I should be up front with them about it?" Sunset asked as she set her glass down. "I'm being sincere in asking you what you think I should do. I value your input."
"Yes, make it clear that you have no intention of using them further after tomorrow if they aren't going to go for a safer version of spell," Tonya said with a little more bite than she intended. "It's the right thing to do. I still don't think this version of the spell should be used at all. It isn't worth it to possibly hurt someone like that just to get this approved tomorrow. You should refuse to let them do it and tell them why."
Sunset tapped her hoof on the table slowly as she considered. "I'll make clearer the risks based on what you observed, and let them talk to you. I'm leaving the choice in their hooves. Maybe you can convince them to go with the safer version, and if not make it clear this isn't going past tomorrow."
"You could use the safer version without telling them," Tonya countered.
Sunset raised an eyebrow. "You know better than most how bad that idea is, especially since we'll have Phobia watching the whole thing. That's mind magic without consent. We can't make those kinds of mistakes."
Tonya sat back in her chair. She was really not thinking straight if she almost pushed for something like that. That was one mistake she definitely knew better than to make. She looked back at her wife. "So, what are you going to do if they refuse to go through with it?"
Sunset pulled her hoof from the table and rubbed her forelegs nervously. "I've already got a backup plan that's going to happen one way or another with the pony to human version of the spell. I'm not going to be left hanging out to dry tomorrow. It'd be better with them, but it can be managed."
"What backup plan? You haven't discussed this with me. Who do you have lined up?" Tonya asked with suspicion.
Sunset shook her head. "That's going to be private for now. Believe me when I say the pony involved fully understands the risks and what is going to happen, and has given their consent."
"Who is it, Sunset?" Tonya demanded. "It must be someone I wouldn't approve of or you'd be telling me. Is it another night pony?"
"They know everything involved and have given consent; that's all you need know till tomorrow," Sunset said in a low voice. "Please, just trust me that it will be alright."
Tonya shook her head in frustration. "I love you, Sunset, but you're worrying me with your drive to see this approved tomorrow. We could delay this till more testing and volunteers are gathered. It might make a big stink after bringing in the delegates, but it's more important we do the right thing "
"I'll see to it that the right thing is done, just trust me."
Tonya wished she could, but something felt seriously wrong.
Jessie blinked and rolled over in her bed as she realized it was so early the sun wasn't even up yet. Why was she awake this early? Did she need to use the toilet? A few seconds considering this made her decide that was not the case. There must be a reason she was awake, but it wasn't coming to her right away. What was coming to her was that it was too early.
She turned over in her bed to face the wall. Even in the dark she could make out it's blue color. Her room had a theme. Her carpet was green like grass, her walls were blue like the sky, and her ceiling with it's stars and planets was painted black like the night sky. It was her own private world, and looking at her room made her feel loved as she thought of all the time and effort her dad had put into it for her. She had to have one of the best dads in the world. Her brother calling it a cavern was completely unfair, especially since his room with the dark curtains and low light was the more cavern-like of their rooms.
She let off a low groan. She was thinking when she was trying to get back to sleep. That never worked out. All it did was make her more awake. What time was it anyway? She rolled over again to look at her smiling sun clock and saw that it was a little before six in the morning. That was one of those horrible times when it was too early to get up but too late to really get back to sleep. Going to bed early no doubt led to this. Just laying in bed might be the best option. Maybe she could grab one of her books and do some reading in bed.
Her ears twitched as she heard low voices out in the living room. Was that what had woken her up? It might just be the television, but she was pretty sure she could hear her mom speaking and someone replying. Whoever was out there was trying to be quiet. Who'd be here at this time of the morning?
She carefully climbed out of her blankets and to the floor. Her dad said that he and her mom kept conversations about Robby private from her. If that was the case they might have private conversations about her as well. If she was quiet enough sneaking down the hall she might be able to listen in and not get caught.
She kept her breathing low and quiet as she sneaked out her door. The carpet would hopefully muffle her hoof steps. The air conditioner was going as well and might help muffle sound some. Her parents couldn't hear as well as she and Robby could, but she didn't know who else was out there for sure, and if it was a pony they might hear her if she wasn't careful. Maybe the demons could give her some pointers on how to sneak better, because she afraid she wasn’t doing it right.
The other voice was now identifiable; it was her Grandmare Nocte. Her grandmare must have just gotten back into town not long ago. Thankfully, it didn't seem like Nocte had taken notice of her sneaking in the hallway yet.
Her grandmare was talking. "It's a shame they haven't opened up the testing for healthy humans yet. Did Paul get any indication from his sister when they might be doing that?"
"No," her mom answered. "I'm not really in a position to volunteer anyway. Not with Dusk due any day now. Rosetta's mother needs this much more urgently than me or Paul. I don't feel bad she is getting to try it early while the rest of us wait."
"I know," her grandmare said with a sigh. "I'm just eager to see you as..." There was a sudden pause and the sound of sniffing. "You can't hide from my nose, little filly. I have the best nose on the police force, you haven't had a bath yet today, and the air conditioner in the hall spreads your scent really well. Come on out, Jessica."
Jessie came out from the cover of the hallway and saw her mom and grandmare sitting on the couch. Her mom smiled down at her as she walked over to them.
"I hope we didn't wake you up. We were trying to be quiet," her mom said apologetically.
Jessie shook her head. "I think I went to bed too early." Her ears perked up. "What kind of testing were you talking about?"
"Oh." Her mom put a hand up to her mouth and then back down again. "It's not something we can talk about right now. Don't worry; it isn't anything bad."
"Oh," Jessie said as her ears dropped. Why did everyone always have to keep things from her? It wasn't fair. She might be a filly but she was smart enough to understand anything they told her.
"Devon, do you mind if I use the computer in your bedroom?" Grandmare Nocte asked. "I wanted to send a photo down to my marefriend to let her know I got back here alright."
Her mom blinked then nodded. "Yeah, go right ahead, Mom--and thanks."
Jessie flicked an ear at that. What was she thanking Grandmare Nocte for? It also occurred to her that her dad must not be here if Grandmare Nocte was going in her parents' bedroom.
"Where's Dad at?" She asked her mom as Grandmare Nocte walked past.
Her mom patted the seat next to her. "He is going to the Dreamwarden's house. Phobia, Rosetta, and Tempest are all going to be out for a few hours and the demons needed a foalsitter. Your grandmare agreed to stay here in case anything happened and I needed to get to the hospital quick."
Jessie hopped up on the couch next to her mom and looked up at her. "Um, Grandmare Nocte can't drive you to the hospital."
"She can call the hospital and they can come get me if they need to," her mom explained. "It probably won't happen, but it's good to have her here, just in case." Her mom ran a hand gently over her mane. "Want to feel your little brother? He's awake too, and kicking."
Jessie's ears picked back up as she smiled and nodded. Her mom lifted her shirt up exposing her belly and reached down and guided Jessie's hoof to it. Her mom's belly was warm and it felt even warmer having her hand over Jessie's hoof. For a few seconds there was nothing, then there was a thump.
"I felt him!" Jessie said excitedly as she looked up at her mom's face. Another thump quickly followed.
"He certainly is active this morning," her mom said with a giggle. "I never really got to do this with Robby when I was carrying you, it's nice."
Jessie's ears twitched as she continued to feel and look at her mom's belly. "Why not? Was I not active?"
Her mom didn't answer her. After a few seconds of quiet Jessie looked up at her mom and her ears fell as she noticed that her mom was crying.
She sat up and put both her forehooves on her mom's arm. "Mom? What's wrong? Did I say something bad?"
Her mom wiped her eyes and gave Jessie a forced smile. "No, you didn't say anything bad. I'm just a little emotional. Moms get this way sometimes when their carrying a baby." Her mom wiped her eyes again then put a hand back on Jessie's hooves. "I've never really talked to you about your birth much. I think you're capable of understanding though. Do you want to hear about it?"
"Okay," Jessie replied uncertainty.
"No, you weren't very active," her mom said as she brushed Jessie's mane her hand. "You were born really early--too early. When babies are born too early they aren't ready for being outside their mothers. Your father and I were so afraid we were going to lose you."
Jessie flattened her ears. "I almost died?"
Her mom nodded. "You were so small and you couldn't breathe right, couldn't eat, and you had no immune system to speak of. Your hands and feet were so tiny and barely moved--but you caught ETS, and that was a miracle that saved you."
Jessie held her hoof up and looked at it, trying to imagine it as a tiny human hand. It was easy enough to picture a tiny human hand, but she couldn't imagine what it would feel like to actually have a human hand. Learning that she at one point had them didn't help at all.
Her mom brought her hand to Jessie's hoof like she was greeting her, and spoke in a low voice. "And then in the weeks after that I was so scared that you'd not love me because of this."
Jessie's head shot up. "You're my mom. Why wouldn't I love you?"
Tears kept flowing from her mom's eyes. "I was afraid you'd realize I'm not the same as you, that you were a pony and I wasn't. I felt so guilty that I didn't change too."
"You shouldn't feel that way though. You're a great mom, and I love you," Jessie said with all the firmness she could muster.
Her mom wiped her eyes again and smiled down at her. "I know you love me. You're such a special little filly, and I can't express how proud I am of you. Dusk is going to be very lucky to have you for a big sister."
She looked at her mom's hand again. "I don't think big sister is the right thing to call me. Dusk is going to get much bigger than me."
Her mom bit her lip for a second before continuing on. "Does it make you uncomfortable, knowing you'll have a human for a younger brother?"
Jessie blinked. "Should it?"
Her mom shook her head briskly. "No, it shouldn't. But you should know, human babies need a lot more care and attention for a lot longer than foals do. It's going to be a long time till he can walk on his own or understand what's being said to him. Your father and I are going to have to pay a lot of attention to him. I don't want you to feel neglected or jealous."
"How long before he walks and talks?"
"Um," her mom seemed to consider. "It will almost definitely be after your seventh birthday--maybe even after your eighth."
Her eyes went wide. "That long!? But I was doing those things way before then. I was reading already by then."
"You're also a genius, so you learned extremely fast," her mom reminded her. "And pony foals start walking much earlier. Most foals don't learn how to talk nearly as early as you did. As I said, Dusk is going to need a lot of care and attention. On the plus side, human babies don't surge. That should make things easier in that respect."
She knew about surges from her classes. "Were my surges bad?"
Her mom looked uncomfortable again. "At the time we didn't know what surges were so that made it worse. They were...difficult to deal with--let's leave it at that."
That made her think about how her mom was always trying to get her to socialize more and she hadn't been cooperating much.
She tapped her forehooves together and looked down. "Mom, I'm sorry about not listening when you wanted me to spend time with other foals. I didn't mean to be difficult, and I know you were trying to help me."
An arm pulled her up in a gentle hug and her mom gave her a kiss on the nose. "I just want you to have the best life possible.".
Jessie leaned into her mom's side to nuzzle. "Wild Growth talked to me, and she told me how important it was and why."
Her mom gripped her tighter. "I knew an earth pony you respected would have an easier time getting through to you. I'm glad she did."
Something about what her mom said felt off. As she kept nuzzled against her mother she began to get frustrated because she couldn't figure out what it was that was off. Perhaps she needed to prompt some more conversation.
"She said you wanted her to talk to me," she explained. Hoping it would get her mom to say more. "She talked about how I could ruin all my chances at NASA if I didn't understand how to socialize well, and that I need belonging and might make mistakes trying to get that if I'm too isolated from others all the time."
"Harsher than I would have been, but she seems to have gotten through where I didn't," her mom said quietly. "I noticed you reading with Jordan the other day, and your dad told me you were playing with the demons. I'm proud you're doing more of that."
"Yeah, we're all friends now, I think. It's really early, but I think so anyway," Jessie replied. There was still something off; like her mom was sad about something. "I had a lot more fun than I thought I would with the demons, and Jordan likes to read. Jackie even seemed like she wanted to be friends when we were talking about how Jackie really takes being a big sister seriously and I told her I was going to be a big sister."
That earned another light kiss from her mom. "And I know you'll do all you can to be a great big sister." Her mom paused for a second. "And you're sure that Dusk being human isn't going to bother you?"
"Mom, you asked that already. Why should it matter if Dusk is human?" Jessie asked in confusion.
Her mom bit her lip before answering. "I just worry you won't feel strongly connected to him because he's human. That being human is too different from being a pony for you to want him around. Maybe I get a pass on that because I've always been part of your life, but this is a new human."
The answer struck her by surprise. How could her mom think that? "But, he's my brother, and you're my mom; I don't care that were different."
"I do worry about how different we are though," her mom said in a low voice.
The things her mom had been saying suddenly came into focus. The fact that her mom worried about them not being the same species had never gone away. In a way, learning that hurt somehow -- even if her mom hadn't said anything mean. Anger rose up in her, and she didn't fully understand why. It felt like some sort of betrayal had happened. She was hurt and angry and she wanted to yell at her mom, but she didn't know what to yell at her mom. Plus, if she yelled at her mom her mom would be hurt and...and...this was just unfair.
She pulled away from her mother hopped down from the couch. "I have some reading to do," she said stiffly.
"Jessie, I didn't mean it like that."
You did. Jessie thought with rising anger. Now her mother was lying to her. "I want to be left alone."
"Jessie, let's talk about this," her mother pleaded.
She whirled around and looked at her mother. "Just leave me alone! You're so stupid!"
Jessie froze as she stared at her mom again. Her mom didn't yell back after the insult. Her mom just looked at her with a look of hurt and shame that made Jessie regret the words she had just said. She didn't know what to do and just turned and ran for her room.
"Jessie!" Her mom called after her.
She didn't listen. She ran straight for her room, got into her bed, and buried herself under the covers. She could hear her mom and grandmare out in the hall. She missed the beginning of their conversation, but strained to hear the rest.
"Devon, go back and sit on the couch. You need to calm down or it will upset the baby. I'll deal with your daughter."
"But, I need to fix this. She probably hates me right now."
"Stop being dramatic. She doesn't hate you. She's angry and mouthed off. It's no worse than the things you said to me when you were a child."
"I just screwed that conversation up so badly. I need to apologize."
Her grandmare growled loud enough Jessie heard it. "Yes, you did and yes you do. You may be better off as a pony, but until that day may come your family is perfectly good and loving already. She has a right to be mad at you for even considering she wouldn't accept her brother. Even if you're never a pony we all still love you completely and unconditionally, and the same will be said for the new baby."
"So let me go apologize."
"After I've given your filly a good talking to and you've had time to collect yourself. Go back in the living room and sit."
Her mom's heavy steps could be heard departing. Jessie cried into her pillow. She didn't know why she said something so mean to her mom. She was angry, but she didn't want to hurt her mom like that.
"Jessica, come out from under those blankets right now and look at me," her grandmare said sternly.
She hesitantly pulled herself from the blankets and turned and faced the scowling face of her grandmare.
"Jessica, that was a very cruel thing to say to your mother. I know you were upset, but that is no excuse to speak to your mother that way."
"I know, but..."
"No buts, " her grandmare said harshly. "If you were my filly I'd be paddling your butt with my wing right now."
Jessie whimpered a little and didn't reply. Hopefully she wasn't going to get in more trouble. She definitely didn't want to get paddled by Grandmare Nocte.
"Do you have any idea what your mother goes through and has gone through for you?" Her grandmare demanded as she pointed a wing out towards the living room. "She loves you with all her heart, and would do anything to see you happy."
"She thinks I don't care about her because I'm a pony," Jessie muttered defiantly. "It's like she looks down on me."
Her grandmare sighed. "Nothing could be farther from the truth. She doesn't look down on you, she looks down on herself because she's not like us. There are many things humans are inferior on, but not when it comes to love and family. Being human is like a...like a disability. You don't look down on those with disabilities, do you? That would be cruel, and you're not a cruel filly."
"My mom isn't disabled because she’s human," Jessie said in defense of her mom.
"If you lack sympathy for the plight of humans perhaps your mother needs to do more than bring you to hear Sunset Blessing’s sermons," her grandmare said coldly. "You clearly don't see how they suffer with their humanity. Perhaps you need a firmer education in that area."
Jessie lowered her ears. She really didn't like church at all, and she knew she didn’t lack sympathy. She also didn't like being told she wasn't learning something properly. But was she being uncaring without realizing it?
Her grandmare's expression softened. "Regardless, she does need to get it out of her head that you might not love her or your little brother as much because they're human. You need to be better at showing her that rather than getting mad at her."
There wasn't much Jessie could do to argue against that. She'd hurt her mom's feelings and she didn't like knowing she'd hurt her mom. "Yes, Grandmare."
Her grandmare walked over to her and touched a tattooed wing to her back. "I'm going to go talk to your mother now. After I come back you can go and apologize. Don't ever treat your mother like that again. She loves you too much to deserve such things said to her."
"Yes, Grandmare."
The night pony left the room quietly and a moment later Jessie could hear voices in the other room and could pick out little bits and pieces of conversation.
"She's a good foal, just emotional..."
"I still feel..."
"...rectify that in a moment...I think you should enroll her in a youth group. She needs to develop proper views while young."
The conversation picked up volume and she could now hear it clearly.
"She’s just not interested in church, she's so bright that she gets bored going at our pace. I've considered letting her stay with her friends on Sunday instead since she still needs to learn how to build friendships more."
"She can build friendships in a youth group with foals who have been raised with the right type of upbringing. Your filly doesn't understand how much better off we all are as a ponies. She has a complete lack of care for human suffering."
"Jessie is a kind and caring foal. I don't think that's needed."
"I don't doubt she's kind and caring. I think she's just ignorant of some important things, and it's your job to see those gaps are filled."
"I'll discuss it with her. I won't force her to do something she doesn't want to do. Not when she's making real progress with making friends ."
"Those foals may not have the proper upbringing and fill her head with nonsense about..."
"Mom, those foals come from friends and family--and that includes Phobia Remedy. They are Jessie's friends and family too. I won't have you saying crap about them."
Her grandmare hesitated. "I overstepped myself perhaps. I wouldn't dream of insulting the Dreamwarden's foals. But I still think she could use a firmer push towards some good Shimmerist friends."
"Paul and I are the only ones who need to be concerned about the fact that we're human. I don't want to burden her with worrying about such things and interfere with her dreams and aspirations. I've been thinking about it lately and realized it might even hurt her chances if she gets too involved with the church... That's my baby girl, Mom, and I won't be a reason she fails to achieve her dreams."
"They can't discriminate against her for that. It's the law."
"I’m not going to risk it."
"As much as I disagree, she’s your daughter. Do what you think is best. I'll go tell her to come back out so she can give her apology."
Jessie hopped down out of her bed to the floor before her grandmare appeared back at the entrance to the room. The night pony looked down at her and nodded silently before walking off back towards the other end of the hall.
She quietly walked out into the hallway and back into the living room. Her mom was sitting on the couch again and watched as she entered the room.
"Jessie" her mom began and then took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have implied you might not accept your little brother. That was old fears of mine talking."
That brought to mind the demons and Phobia Remedy, and all they said about fear. It was okay to be afraid, but you needed to face your fears. Her mom was scared and that was okay, but her mom needed help facing her fears.
She ducked her head down. "I'm sorry I got mad and said something bad. I didn't mean it."
Her mom looked down at the floor and rubbed her tummy absently. "You've never gotten angry at me like that before. I don't think you need to apologize for being angry. I was the one out of line and you don’t need to apologize for being upset with me for that. But I will accept your apology for calling me stupid though."
Jessie scrunched up her nose. "I’m sorry… and you’re not stupid. I get so frustrated when you make me socialize and stuff when I just want to study."
That earned a groan from her mom. "Jessie, we've talked about this and I thought we were making progress. You need--"
"But you were right," Jessie cut her mom off. Her mom paused and gave her a wide-eyed look. "You were right about me needing to make friends. I think I'm learning things because of that. Important stuff I can't learn in books. I'm sorry I got mad all those times."
Her mom smiled and tears went down her mom's face. "Sometimes I forget how smart you are. You really are my little miracle. Your little brother is going to be so lucky that he has you for a big sister." Her mom patted the seat beside her. "Come up here so I can give you a hug. I can't really bend down that easily right now."
She hopped on to the couch next to her mom and leaned into her as her mom wrapped her arms around her. A few of her own tears started to flow as she felt the love of her mom.
"I'm very happy you're making friends and seeing that as important," her mom continued on. "I just want the best for you. You're so talented, and I want you to succeed in everything you set out to do."
That made her think of the conversation that she overheard just a moment before. She pulled away gently, careful not to be interpreted as being mad again, and looked up at her mom. "Mom, I don't really want to do that youth group thing you and Grandmare Nocte were talking about."
Her mom bit her lip and ran a hand over Jessie's mane. "So you heard that too? Don't worry, I'm not going to push you to get involved with that if you have no interest in it. You're doing a good job the last few days with starting to open up with other foals on your own."
She laid her ears back. "What did you mean that if I got too involved with church it could mess things up?"
That made her mom look worried for some reason. "Jessie...I really don't know how to explain these kinds of things to you. You understand a lot about academic things, but this gets into more mature subjects that don't follow clear rules."
She pouted. "Tell me like you'd tell a grown-up. You know I'm really smart. I can figure it out. Phobia Remedy talked to me like I was a grown up when I asked her about why she was so interested in my project. It was scary, but I understood it."
Her mom sighed. "I just don't want to have you exposed to certain concepts. Even though you're so smart you haven't been exposed to how mean the world can be."
Jessie kept her ears flat. "Mom, Phobia Remedy told me that Devourers will be here in a few years and showed me what they do. I can understand bad things."
"She said what!?" Her mom screamed.
She flicked her tail and winced at the shouting. "Ow! Mom! Don't yell like that. It hurts. Phobia Remedy said I'd probably be all grown up by the time it happens. Don't worry about it."
"That's not a thing not to fucking worry about!" Her mom said in a frantic voice. She must be really scared if she said the forbidden word and didn't even notice. Maybe she shouldn't've said anything about it to her mom. She had an idea how to distract her mom from thinking about it though.
She took a deep breath and braced herself for getting yelled at. "Fuck," she muttered.
Her mom's eyes snapped to attention on her and her eyebrows narrowed as she suddenly stopped worrying and stared down in anger. "Jessica Ann Middleton! You will not use that word! End of the world or not!"
Jessie smiled up sheepishly. "I just wanted to make you not think about that bad thing."
Her mom just stared at her for a long moment then her mom's composure broke as she started trying to visibly suppress laughter.
"Um, Mom? Why are you laughing? I don't understand."
Her mom shook her head and started giggling and snorting. At this point Jessie was getting really confused and worried she might have accidentally broken her mom somehow. The giggling and laughter continued on for a few seconds before her mom start to look like she was getting it under control.
"Mom? Are you okay?" She asked as she watched her mom with concern. She could see her grandmare watching from the hallway with equal concern on her face.
Her mom nodded. "It's hard to put it into words, but the contrast in what constitutes a bad thing there was so ridiculously different that it was like the punchline of a joke. Please, don't cuss; let me keep the illusion that you haven't lost your innocence."
She cocked her head to the side and bent on ear. "Okay, but I don't understand."
That nearly got her mom giggling again. "Okay, maybe you haven't completely lost it. We need to sit down and talk about your talk with Phobia Remedy though."
Her mom then stared at the ceiling and shook her head. "Oh God, why can't it just be a normal problem for once? Like some colt putting gum in her mane or me worrying about paying the power bill? Oh no, it's all mind control and demigod pony foalsitters. It ranges from the most intelligent kid on the planet to the end of the world...I'm so not cut out for this..."
Jessie wasn't certain what was going on, her mom was acting all weird, but didn't seem so scared now. "Alright, but will you tell me about why the church thing is bad?" She pleaded again.
"I don't know how much you've read about churches, but our church is a little different than a lot of churches. We believe we're all better off as ponies, and that makes a lot of people suspicious of us. I don’t want anyone to be suspicious of you."
"Why?" Jessie blurted out, then felt the need to clarify. "Why do you think you would be better off as ponies?"
Her mom stared at her for a second before Jessie heard the soft sound of hooves on carpet, her mother quickly looked away to the hallway. "Mom, go back to whatever you were doing. This is a private discussion between me and my daughter."
Jessie turned and saw her grandmare turning and could hear her grumbling. Her mom got her attention back by clearing her throat. "You have to understand what it's like to be me or your father. Our entire family are ponies; your grandparents on both sides, your aunt, you and your brother. There are things you all experience that your father and I never will."
"So?" Jessie said with confusion. "Robby can fly and dreamwalk, and I'll never experience that. He also can't understand what's it like to sit in a field of flowers with the sun shining bright because night ponies don't like the sun. What does it matter who can do what?"
Her mom looked her in the eyes. "What do you feel when you're surrounded by those flowers? What do you think your father and I feel? What do you feel when Wild Growth makes all the crops grow?” she paused. “Your father and I feel nothing."
Jessie flattened her ears. "But-- no— that can’t be right, you have to feel something. It feels so strong when Wild Growth does her magic."
"Magic isn’t a part of us though," her mom explained. "We can feel it sometimes, when it is used directly on us, but not in the way a pony does. It's like a blind person trying to understand color or a deaf person being told what music sounds like. We're like that, deaf and blind to magic."
"But I've seen some humans do magic," Jessie protested.
"Humans that were once ponies or partials. Not humans like me or your father. Even human magic has a pony source," her mom said sadly. "If we had been partials who rehumanized maybe we could have that connection, but we weren't touched by ETS."
Jessie sat back on her rump and crossed her forelegs. "Well, I think you're great as you are. I don't think you need to be a pony to be special. I love you and Dad just like you are and I can't imagine you being anything else."
That made her mom look at her with a strange expression. "You don't wish I was more like you? A pony mother who you could cuddle better with or could teach you about magic?"
She shook her head. "You couldn't give me such good head rubs and Dad couldn't lift me up high when we're in a crowd and I can't see and you're warm already. If Dad was an earth pony like me he couldn't have put the planets and stars on my ceiling. Plus if you and Dad weren't human you couldn't spend time with both me and Robby like you do. What if one of you were a night pony and the other wasn't? Aren't they always saying night ponies can't be happy with being married to someone who isn't a night pony?"
Her mom blinked. "Who told you that?"
"Robby," she replied. Her brother was a perfectly valid source about night pony things.
"Oh did he.... and where did he hear that from?" Her mom asked with a creased brow.
This required her to rat out her brother, but she wanted to maintain her credibility at the same time. She warred with herself on what to say while her mom watched. Finally her ears dropped as she answered. "He heard it from the night pony mares. They told him that all of them who were married before becoming ponies ended up getting divorced because they couldn't make it work out with day ponies."
"He knows he isn't supposed to be talking to those mares," her mom said with frustration.
"They might have been marked," Jessie supplied helpfully. "I think they're the experts though. I don't want you and Dad to not want to be together."
"That's a really mature subject that they shouldn't have been discussing with him anyway," her mom said firmly. "And far too mature a subject for him to be discussing with you."
She gave her mother a sullen look. "Robby doesn't treat me like a little filly."
"You are a little filly, Jessie."
"It doesn't mean I need to be treated like one!" Her eyes went wide as she realized she'd just shouted at her mom again. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to yell. I just get so mad everyone doesn't treat me seriously. Like everything has to be kept from me because a little filly couldn't understand."
"Jessie..." Her mom seemed to carefully consider her next words. "It isn't that we don't think you'll understand. The problem is the opposite of that. We're afraid that you will understand all too much and there are certain things a foal your age shouldn't have to understand or be exposed to."
She almost voiced that she didn't understand again and caught herself before doing that. "I want to know." She demanded instead, unable to keep her frustration from showing.
"Why can't you just be normal?" Her mom asked with a groan. Jessie pouted at the declaration before her mom shook her head. "No, that's unfair. Part of why you're so special is how not normal you are."
"I'm going to just go research it if you don't tell me why I shouldn't know things."
"What other six year old would use that as an ultimatum?" Her mom asked the ceiling. "Teenager maybe, not a six year old." Her mom sighed and looked back at her. "Fine, you win. Can you explain the concept of innocence?"
"Um, not being guilty?" Jessie answered.
"Try again," her mom replied.
She scrunched up her muzzle and hopped off the couch and walked over to a nearby bookshelf to find an old friend, the dictionary. She'd sat reading it many nights when the family was watching television together and she was bored with whatever was on, like the news.
She pulled the worn book that was far older than she was from the shelf and nudged it open with her muzzle and began flipping pages carefully. These old books had pages that were really hard to flip with hooves, and she'd never really tried to get to an entry deep in it before. Normally she just opened it up randomly and started reading it one page at a time.
After a few seconds it became evident that finding the proper page when they were this fragile was going to be too time consuming, and it made her appreciate her newer books with specially designed pages all the more.
"Want me to help?" Her mom asked.
Jessie shook her head then carefully lifted the heavy book with one foreleg and her muzzle on to her back. It was a little awkward with a book this big and heavy, but she managed it. Once it was on her back she carefully walked back to the couch and considered how she was going to get it up there without dropping it. While doing so her mom reached down with some visible effort and grabbed the book.
"Thank you," Jessie said, then grinned. "Picking up big books is easier with hands, don't you think? I wish I had hands."
"My hands are only needed because this book was designed for them," her mom reminded her.
"Still they’d be nice to have," Jessie countered.
Her mom frowned. "Well, you've been a pony your whole life--minus a week. Rehumanization was never an option for you."
"So it'd be more humanization."
"Jessie, drop it, please" her mom said in a pained voice.
She actually legitimately was curious about what it would be like to be human. If she was turned into a human she would likely still have magic since she'd been a pony, and a lot of things would be easier. However, there was also the mare she saw in the mirror in her dream that she wanted to be too. Why were humans and ponies limited to being one or the other? Wouldn’t it be better to be able to go back and forth?
Her mom opened the dictionary and flipped through the pages as Jessie watched. They quickly found the entry and Jessie peaked at the additional definitions beyond what she was familiar with.
"Lack of guile or corruption, and another definition referring to virginity," Jessie listed off.
"Lack of corruption," her mom said in a tight voice. "By that I mean you don't think about subjects that can be disruptive, disturbing, or involving things you should never be involve a child or foal in."
"What kinds of subjects do you feel make me less innocent then?"
"What Phobia showed you for starters," her mom said with a frown. "Other subjects might be politics, sex, some other things."
Jessie frowned. "Why sex? I read all about it in health class. I know all about what Wild Growth does. I even watched some videos."
"It's because--wait, you watched videos?" Her mom asked in a shrill voice.
"Um, they're really easy to find on the internet, and I wanted to see what it actually looked like when I was studying it in class. Everyone else in class seemed to know. It didn't look that interesting to tell the truth. I don't know what all the fuss is about."
Her grandmare could be heard braying laughter somewhere down the hall. Jessie didn't see what was so funny. Her mom was turning bright red though and was cupping her hands over her mouth while looking like she couldn't decide whether to scream or cry.
"What's wrong?" Jessie asked. She could still hear her grandmare laughing elsewhere in the house.
"I'm such an irresponsible mother," her mom breathed. "My six year old has been accessing porn on the computer behind my back."
"Only one time, and I only saw a few videos. I told you it looked boring. You and Dad do it; that's where Dusk is coming from. I heard you two do it lots of times, you're really loud," Jessie clarified defensively. Her grandmare started laughing louder.
"It's not funny, Mom!" Her mom shouted towards the back of the house as she got so red she started looking like Aunt Sunset.
"Whatever you say, sugar plum!" Her grandmare yelled back, still laughing loudly.
"I really don't understand " Jessie said in a small voice. Why was her mom acting like that? Why was her grandmare laughing?
Her mom stood up slowly and then looked down at her. "Ask your father. Tell him I'm deferring this one entirely to him. Let him figure out what to say."
With that said her mom walked out of the room into the hallway with her grandmare still laughing. Clearly her mom and grandmare were suffering from the same grown up craziness that Wild Growth mentioned and her brother was coming into. They really needed to come up with a cure for that. Hopefully they would before she got that old and went crazy too.
Wild watched the monitor as her mama was being briefed by the doctors, mages, and lawyers in the testing room. There were consent forms that had to be signed and with the Parkinson's that was something that Wild's papa had to assist with. They'd already been here for some time, but there was a lot of legalese that had to be waded through. Her mama was already been stripped of every single last article of clothing and those had been carefully folded and put on a table off to the side
It was pretty cramped in the monitoring room. In addition to herself both her sister and Phobia were here, with both Tempest Shadow and Crystal Dreams guarding her. Amanda and Tom were also here, and would be in that testing room themselves later on. Rounding out the group was Sunset, two military guards, and Tonya.
"I don't care what the governor wants in this case. You're going to wait until enough medallions arrive from Equestria before you let that mare into a full courtroom," Phobia snapped as she talked on the phone in a corner. "She shouldn't even be allowed in there. You should be using a video feed to question her. It's ridiculous that she’s physically taking the stand, but if that's what they want they are going to wait on enough medallions to block her powers on every person in the courtroom. I don't care if she's already got one on; I won't have chances taken."
"Phobia seems a bit perturbed," Wild whispered to her sister. "I'm not used to seeing her get like that. She's usually so calm when speaking to others."
Rosetta grimaced from beside Wild. "She's been arguing with them about this for days. It's taking forever for Equestria to get enough mind magic blocking medallions that are strong enough together. There are going to be a lot of people in that courtroom and those things aren't easy to make."
"I don't know why they're even questioning her on the stand. What that mare did was an atrocity that they should just throw the book at her and be done with it," Wild grumbled. The mare in question had made her own demented form of protest by unleashing lots of mind magic during a major gun show where most the people were armed or had quick access to getting armed. Over four hundred-fifty people were shot by those she impacted and of those over three hundred dead-- three hundred and nine to be exact. The mare ended up getting shot as well, but had survived.
"It's a mess," her sister said with a sigh. "The governor and judge in this case are both posturing and trying to make this into a spectacle. The Dreamwardens by law have to do what they can to try to accommodate the local authorities' requests as far as they can while keeping the public safe. Phobia thinks this entire thing is stupid-- a lot of people do, but she's done as much as she can to figure out how to make this stupidity work. She's not going to back down any further on her requirements for safety restrictions though. At a certain point the judge will have to just agree to wait for all the medallions, not let as much of the public in so he can go with less medallions, or keep that terrorist out of the physical courtroom and question her by video feed-- like it would make the most sense to do."
"I'm just impressed that she's showing she can get angry. I'd thought she'd somehow cut that emotion out. At some point someone might mistake her for having regular emotions," Wild said with a smirk.
Rosetta gave her a slap with a wing. "Phobia gets just as emotional as anyone else, she's just very reserved in showing it."
"Whatever you say," Wild replied skeptically, but then remembered getting yelled at yesterday and felt a bit less skeptical. It would be nice if she could get a laugh out of the Dreamwarden though. "What do you think is going to happen with this trial?"
Rosetta shrugged. "There will likely be stronger clamp downs on mind magic after this than there were already. There's talk of just having medallions locked on the necks of every mind magic user permanently as soon as they show signs they can use it."
"That's a little extreme," Wild replied.
"I don't think the families of the victims would think so, nor do the Dreamwardens for that matter," Rosetta observed darkly.
Wild looked at her sister in surprise. "Phobia would be willing to have a permanent collar clamped around her neck?"
Rosetta looked over at Phobia--who was still arguing hotly on the phone. "If that's what it took she would."
Wild turned her eyes back to the monitors to watch her mama continue to sign forms with her Papa's assistance. "Still seems a violation of civil liberties. There are good things mind magic is used for."
"Considering how hard it is to get proper medallions made it probably isn't workable anyway," Rosetta said with resignation. "Something needs to be done though. This is the fifth major incident like this in the last five years. That might not seem like a lot, but each one of those cost many lives. Even if they are brought to justice right away they can do far too much harm in one initial attack. Having the Dreamwardens more pervasively monitor mind magic users is probably what's going to happen; active monitoring of their dreams every time they sleep whether they want it or not, Sha'am can do it."
"That's an exceedingly invasive breach of privacy, and a slippery slope towards thought policing everyone," Wild protested.
"The Dreamwardens are only concerned with whether the person intends to do harm with mind magic, nothing else," Rosetta replied dismissively. "They wouldn't reveal anything else to anyone not related to crimes of mind magic or dreamwalking, it's one of the things in the treaty . The matter is for lawmakers to decide anyway; the Dreamwardens just help enforce what is legislated as long as it is within treaty guidelines."
She decided not to push the matter further. Rosetta's fervor for curtailing mind magic abuses was not far behind the Dreamwardens, and her faith in the Dreamwardens doing the right thing matched that. Due to that fervor it was highly unlikely that anything Wild said would make her sister see how dangerous this line of thought might be. It might even be easier talking to Phobia about it than Rosetta. Whether she ended up agreeing or not Phobia at least really listened and considered it when you voiced concerns. This wasn't the priority for today anyway, today was all about their mama.
The lawyers signaled to the camera that everything was in order with the paperwork, and they exited out of the testing room. Her papa was made to exit as well. The only ones who would be allowed in the room with her mama during the spell cast were the mages, the human doctors, and a pair of crystal ponies. The monitor was deliberately low resolution so no chance could be had of making out the details of how the spell was constructed. There really wasn't much chance anyone currently viewing would be trying to duplicate it themselves, but precautions had to be taken all the same for security purposes. After the spell was finished and her mama was confirmed alright was when visitors would be allowed into the room with her.
The door for the monitoring room opened and her papa entered in. Phobia seemed to note it and promptly told whoever she was speaking with that she would call back later as everyone started directing their attention to the monitor in anticipation.
"I hope this works. Trying to get those papers signed just reminded me all the more how much she's suffering," her papa said with his eyes glued to the monitor.
"I still have concerns about this entire thing, but I hope so too," Rosetta said quietly.
Wild and everyone else didn't express their opinions out loud, but there was a sense of agreement as the world seemed to slow down waiting for the moment the spell began. Each second felt like minutes as the final preparations were made.The four unicorn mages made a circle around her mama and the human doctors and crystal ponies retreated back to the corners of the room. Her mama was laying naked on a cot in the center of the room without so much as a blanket.
One of the unicorn mages lit his horn and there was a brief flash that didn't seem to have any effect at first, but on closer observation it looked like her mama had been put under a sleep spell. One of the doctors went over and checked her and a moment later nodded to the mages that she was properly asleep before returning to his corner. Once he was back in place the the four mages lit their horns together and her mama started to glow.
What followed looked like ETS in extreme fast forward. Her mama's hair shifted color from it's heavily greyed black to a bright pink with a crystalline quality to it and started to lengthen. A tail of a matching color and quality quickly sprouted and lengthened. Next her ears shifted position and at the same time blue fur with a slight glittery look started to sprout on her lower legs and on the ears. From there the fur continued to advance up the legs as her form started to shrink little by little. Wild could not tell if seconds, minutes or hours were going by since she and everyone else were so focused on what was happening.
The fur continued it's takeover of the body and the shape of her mama's lower legs began to shift. Her mama's breasts shrank and retreated lower on her body, shrinking down so far that they were barely noticeable unless looking for them. The fur reached her mama's neck and started down her arms. The shape of her arms began to shift as well and her fingers tightened together and could be seen fusing and forming hooves that matches hooves that had already formed on her legs-- which were now more properly called hind legs. The fur spread to her face and the muzzle sprouted as the eyes enlarged, and in seemingly no time at all where once a human woman lay on the cot there was now a blue crystal pony with a bright pink mane and tail.
The unicorns' horns ceased glowing and the doctors moved in and began checking her. It looked like they were checking her pulse, her breathing, and ensuring that there was nothing physically wrong with her. This continued on for a solid two minutes while everyone watched in rapt silence, waiting for the notification that she was alright. When they retreated and said some things to the unicorn mages everyone breathed a sigh of relief as it seemed they were affirming she was healthy. The unicorn that had cast the sleep spell lit his horn again and her mama started to stir from her sleep.
The first thing her mama did was blink several times and look around with a puzzled look on her face. Then she caught sight of her forelegs and looked straight down at her muzzle. She raised a hoof up and gave herself a boop on the nose and seemed to have done it a tiny bit too hard as she jerked her head back and shook it. She then stared at her hoof for a second or two after before putting it back down. There was no audio feed to the room but one of the doctors stepped forward and seemed to be asking her some questions. Her mama's ears twitched and she turned and looked at the man and answered him with a big grin on her face as she began to try to stand up.
She was a bit unsteady for a second then seemed to find her center of gravity. She continued to give herself a thorough examination; reaching her head around to look at each leg, looking over her body, and swishing her tail about a little while watching it. The doctors asked her a few more questions and she turned and answered each in turn.
"She's healthy, thank God," her papa said with emotion filling his voice, breaking the silence. "I had this fear in the back of my head that the Parkinson's would carry over to this and it was all for nothing."
Wild nodded as she had the same fear, though she'd never confessed to it. She continued watching her mama as her mama adjusted to the pony body. Her mama seemed to now be slightly fascinated at how far away things like the floor, the ceiling, and the walls were. Her mama's changed perspective likely made everything seem bigger and farther away, the differences in pony vision likely made them all appear somewhat different as well. It could be a lot to process, but her mama seemed to be doing alright.
One of the doctors asked her mama another question and she looked down at the floor before answering. The same doctor, along with another, came over to her and together carefully lifted her off the cot and then set her down on the floor. She took a tentative step and almost fell flat on her face before one of the doctors braced her back up. She seemed to thank him and made another attempt, this time it was successful-- if a little shaky. Another unsteady step was taken then another, and with each step she seemed more steady and sure of herself walking. After more than a dozen steps she seemed like she was starting to feel comfortable walking.
"Has full motor control from the looks of it," Sunset said from where she was standing off to the side. "We can confirm that's working as planned with this new iteration of the spell."
"Motor control isn't the primary concern though," Tonya said in a more serious tone.
"We'll find out if this causes any distress soon enough," Sunset replied. "I'm going to go in there and have the mages step out. I'll ask her a few questions and then we can see about just a few visitors. We don't want to overwhelm her with too many at once though; probably just Roger, Wild, and Rosetta to start."
"I'm coming with you," Tonya announced in a surprisingly serious tone for her and just as surprising she was using a tone that seemed to broker no argument. "I want to be perfectly sure everything is alright."
Sunset raised an eyebrow at her wife. "Are you sure it's really that necessary for you to be checking her out right away? She seems perfectly fine from what we've seen here. You'll be getting your chance anyway."
Tonya gave Sunset a firm look back. "I'm sure. This is a big deal, and I want no doubt she has no emotional problems."
"As you wish, love," Sunset said in a resigned voice before leading Tonya out.
The rest of the room turned their full attention back to the monitor. Wild wished that it had sound. Why would this massive budget did Sunset not have a sound feed for the room? Was it some other security concern or was it a privacy concern? Whatever it was it was annoying at the moment.
Her mama was still making small laps around the cot and seemed to have gotten a natural stride going. She paused as her ears turned towards the door and a second later the door opened with Sunset and Tonya entering. Sunset gave some direction and the mages quickly exited out of the room.
The two of them were getting a puzzled look from her mama as they came over to her. Sunset said something and her mama responded back with a smile. The unicorn then could be seen laughing and even Tonya looked amused. Tonya then got a serious expression on her face and began talking while her mama listened and gave occasional answers. At one point her mama laughed and reared up on her hind legs and did a strange two legged dance before settling down to all fours again.
Sunset said something to Tonya and Tonya responded back quickly and seemed to perk back up.
"She looks happier than she's been in a long while," her papa said, and Wild could hear the tears in his voice without looking up. "It's so good to see her moving around without difficulty and enjoying herself. I wish she had gotten ETS when it was happening so she could have been this way the last few years."
"Would it have bothered you if she had turned into a pony and you hadn't?" Tom asked, the first thing he hadn't said in a whisper since he got here.
"That's the love of my life in there. I love her no matter what form she's in. I wish this wasn't just some temporary thing and she could stay like this all the time," her papa said, still emotional.
"I have to admit, this does look like a good thing for her," Rosetta said as she stared at the monitor. She turned to Wild then. "The entire project has things to be concerned about, but in the case of mama this is a great thing. You did good, sis."
Wild didn't respond, but smiled as she watched the monitor. After years of time and effort her mama had a chance to be happy again. There was no more noble a goal than helping others, and knowing she'd helped her mama made her heart sing. Whatever else happened, nothing could ruin this.