//------------------------------// // Chapter 7 - Guys' Night // Story: Further Tales From Day Court // by Blade Star //------------------------------// One of the many things that sets Equestria apart from my old home, apart from the magic, monsters, talking animals, the fact that the sun revolves around the planet by way of magic, and weather and other natural phenomena are controlled artificially, is the gender ratio. Back on Earth, the gender split was pretty even down the middle. In Equestria though, I’d say it’s more like two to one, or maybe even three to one in favour of the ladies. Ponyville in particular seems to be particularly skewed towards mares rather than stallions. Most ponies in authority are female, the princesses for example, as well. Mind you, that’s not to say that this is some sort of matriarchy, far from it in fact. Gender it seems, doesn’t really seem to factor much into the lives of ponies. As in humans, males are larger and stronger as a rule, but they don’t see females as lesser. And at the same time, while the princesses might be female, males do still hold positions of authority, such as myself or Shining Armor. Gender issues and the glass ceiling don’t seem to have been a thing at any time in Equestria’s history. All in all, it makes for a pleasant change from home, with misogynistic tossers on one side, and misandrist feminists on the other, with everyone else stuck in the middle. Still, every now and again, you do have to admit, as a bloke, that ninety nine percent of the time, your rear end gets saved from some evil monster by six girls. That and we often don’t get a crack at the bad guys ourselves. While I’d never say it, it can feel a touch emasculating at times be left out of the fray. Still, as I said, it’s no big deal really. It’s certainly made a lot of interactions in our daily lives easier. For example, I can say to Celestia ‘You look nice today’ without fearing getting fired for harassment. Anyway, back to my point. As a rule, there usually isn’t too much for us gents to do. In particular, in Ponyville, Spike and Big Mac both regularly find themselves on the sidelines while their female friends and relatives go and save the day. And what with the greater female population, it can sometimes be a little bit hard to be a guy in this town. With so few of us around, it’s hard to find things to do together. And that was the situation I found myself in on one Friday night. Margaret had gone off to the school to do her parents’ evening that happens every term. That had left me all by my lonesome with little to do. I was up to date on all my work and was looking forward to a long weekend. The only trouble is that it was going to be rather quiet. Being a little town, not much happens in Ponyville, aside from the odd monster attack or villain passing through on their way to take a rainbow to the face. I’ve tried going out to the local a few times. The trouble is, I’m not exactly what you’d call a bloke’s bloke. I’m not into hoofball, I’m too old to be chasing tail, and I don’t drink to excess. But sometimes though, a guy just wants to spend some time with other guys, away from the women, you know? It was as I was pondering this that there was a knock at the door. I started for a moment; I wasn’t expecting anypony at this hour. And while the concept of home invasion is pretty much foreign to ponies, particularly here where half of them don’t lock their doors, I still have old habits when it comes to security. Carefully getting up out of my chair, I walked over and retrieved the iron fire poker from its stand by the fireplace. Magic, monster, or whatever, most things go down if you smack them between the eyes with an iron bar. Glancing out of the window in the hallway by the door, I could see nopony. With the poker in a classic ready strike position (think of the way a sergeant-major would carry his stick) I unlocked the door. Opening it carefully I found… Nothing, and nopony. Well that was peculiar, wasn’t it? Here I was, on a mid-night dreary, and while I pondered weak and weary over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten Equestrian law. Then suddenly while almost napping ,there comes a tapping; a tapping at my house’s front door. An innocent visitor, I think, only this and nothing more. I fling it open and what do I find? Darkness there, and nothing more. Slightly irritated, but also perplexed, I frowned to myself and looked around. I’d definitely heard something. But the road by the house was deserted, and there was no sign of anypony else abroad. And by the light of the moon, I could see quite a ways as well. Shaking my head, I closed the front door and again and prepared to head back to the living room. Curled up in front of the fire, Charlie, my changeling turned dog, whimpered and growled slightly at the interruption. Sitting down again, I was about to go back to my reading. But then, once again, I heard a tapping, somewhat louder than before. Now half suspecting something was seriously up, I didn’t pause on my way. I figured it was probably those two stupid colts Snips and Snails trying to play a prank. Opening the door, I was caught off guard as a bird flew past my head. Pivoting upwards into a climb, it hovered just above the top of the door frame. And then, in a voice I well recognised it said; “Hey, where’s the bust of Pallas? I’ve got nowhere to perch here!” Looking up in only mild confusion at this latest offering the very left field, I realised that this bird, a crow I might add, had red and yellow eyes. “Discord,” I said with a smile as I tried to avoid laughing. “It’s meant to be a raven, not a crow.” Frowning, which looked most odd on the rigid beak of a bird, Discord snapped one of his talons turned feathers and reappeared in front of me in his usual form. “Well, at least you’re a stallion of culture and got the reference, I suppose,” he said. “Uh-huh,” I replied. “And the reason you felt the need to annoy me and then enter my house using the means described in an Edgar Allen Poe poem is?” “What?” Discord replied. “I can’t drop in to see a friend?” “Well, you usually just appear on my sofa and steal a beer from the fridge,” I countered. “Exactly!” he said. “It’s high time I showed you a good time for a change.” Shutting my front door again, I led discord back into the living room. Charlie growled at him. The pair have never seen eye to eye, but Discord knows better than to do anything to him. I took my seat back in my armchair. “Discord,” I said. “The last time you showed me a good time, I woke on my front lawn, hungover as all hell and barred from the city of Las Pegasus.” “But you had fun though. It’s Friday night for goodness sake. Two guys like us should be out painting the town all sorts of varying colours, not sitting in front of a warm fire reading old law books.” Sighing to myself, I set my book down. I’ve known Discord a few years now, and I know when he wants something. “Alright, I’ll bite,” I said resignedly. “What do you want to do, and how many felonies does it involve?” “Why none, my dear boy,” he replied in an offended tone. “I was just going to invite you to join Spike, Big Mac and me in their weekly Guys’ Night.” “Your what?” I asked. “Oh, it’s just a little get together,” Discord elaborated. “It started as just Spike and Big Mac getting some time away from their sisters and parent figures. But they let me join in a couple of weeks back. And I think you would benefit from some time away from here too.” On paper, it sounded like a perfectly sensible idea. But this was Discord we were talking about. He’s my best friend, but he does have this annoying knack for causing chaos that usually ends with me holding that baby. On the other hand though, I was bored rigid, and I wouldn’t mind saying hello to Spike and Big Mac. “Okay, why not?” I relented. “So where are they, pub, bowling alley?” Discord shook his head. “No, it’s all at Twilight’s castle,” he said. Snapping his talons, the two of us were instantly teleported there. As usual with Discord’s teleportation spells, my stomach did a back flip and my vision swam for a moment. I considered telling him off, but settling for just scowling at him half seriously. I found myself in the map room in the castle, that is, where the round map table and the six thrones are all located. At the moment, the map was deactivated and the only occupants were Spike and Mac, who were sitting in a couple of the chairs. On the table, there seemed to be all sorts of papers, sheets, a few pencils as well as some crude paper figurines and a few dice. After getting my balance back, I walked over to the pair, who seemed to be engaged in some very important discussions. The sheets of paper they had in hand were all charts, with annotations here and there. “So what’s all this then?” I asked, causing the pair to look up from their work. Spike looked surprised for a moment before smiling. “Oh, hey Roger,” he said. “Big Mac and Discord were playing O&O with me.” “O&O?” I asked. “Ogres and Oubliettes,” Big Mac explained in his deep, rumbling baritone. “It’s a role playing game. We each create a character to play as, and then we all make our way through an adventure, fighting monsters along the way.” “Oh, so it’s like Dungeons and Dragons back on Earth?” I asked. Spike chortled. “Dungeons and Dragons? That sounds like a rip off to me.” I rolled my eyes at the little drake’s antics. I had actually played a little bit many years ago with a few friends I had in the police. Yes, the 6’6 bald headed knuckle dragging thumpers apparently love D&D. I’d only play a couple games with them, and not really gotten the hang of it, but I knew the basics. “C’mon, Spike,” I replied. “You know there’s all sorts of similarities between Earth and Equestria. This is just another one of those odd little similarities. Anyway, who’s running the game anyway?” “I am,” Discord proclaimed. Turning around, I discovered that he’d made himself a new costume. It was a sort of Robin Hood getup, and he now carried a bow and a quiver of arrows. “And boy do I have an adventure for you three tonight. First things first though. Roger, we need to get your character created.” And I so, I found myself in this pony version of Dungeons and Dragons. Discord was the DM, or dungeon master, and controlled all the non player characters, as well as the events of the story. He, Spike and Mac were already a ways through a campaign of adventures, so my character, once created, would be written in to join their party. So I set to work on creating my avatar. First things first, I needed to pick race and a class for the character. Since Spike was already a mage and Mac was a paladin, I decided to go down the rogue route, as a human (which Discord allowed); weak hit points, but fast and good at sneaking and scouting. For the name, I went with my old family name, Rowain. His background was that he was a disgraced soldier turned smuggler, who could be hired by Spike’s party as a mercenary. His moral alignment was neutral evil, meaning that he wasn’t evil for the sake of it, nor was he corrupt, he was just a nasty son of a bitch who would gladly switch sides for the right price. After that, Spike rolled four six sided dice for start calculating my attribute scores. I ended up with modest strength, high dexterity and intelligence, modest charisma and wisdom, and weak constitution, which further added to his backstory of being wounded in battle. After adding the racial stat modifiers for a pony, which helped out the weak constitution, I then went on to select skills. While Spike was helping me with all this, the game was still going on. Discord was overseeing things while Big Mac continued to play. Once I was all set up, Discord would have Spike and Mac’s characters meet him to let me enter the adventure. I went for things that fitted my character, like stealth. I then selected Rowain’s feats, which were mainly combat focused. I then worked out my starting gold and purchased my equipment. Finally, all there remained to do was note down all the armour and combat bonuses on the character sheet. With everything complete, I passed my sheet off to Discord for approval. He took it in his lion paw and ran a practiced eye over it. “Hmm, not too bad for a first attempt,” he said at length. “A little edgy perhaps, but so are most first time players. In any case, I’ll think you’ll fit in nicely, Rowain. Pull up a chair and we’ll work you into the adventure.” So I followed Spike and took my seat in one of the six thrones around the map. Spike was already in his chair next to Twilight’s. Mac was in Applejack’s and Discord was in Fluttershy’s. So to keep closer to each other, I borrowed Rarity seat. Despite being made of crystal, they were surprisingly comfy. Although as they were suited for ponies, I had to sit sort of Indian fashion to be comfortable. Due to the fact that the map table is pretty solid, there wasn’t really anywhere to stretch my legs. Still, the high back was perfectly suited to me. Having settled myself down, Discord, or Captain Wuzz to use his character name, took us to the next encounter. I allowed my mind’s eye to transport me from the castle to this adventure. As such, I’ll address the characters by their names in-game. “Alright,” he said, “Garbunkle, Sir McBiggun, having made your way through the swamps and defeated the hydras within, you now arrive at the small settlement of Kinwick. Inhabited by earth ponies, it serves as a trading post on the road to the great capital of Discordia, there is a merchant here where you may purchase supplies, as well as a blacksmith and a tavern. How do you proceed?” I expected Spike to speak next to tell Discord what move he wanted to make. To my surprise though, before he had a chance to speak, Discord snapped his talons. All of us were engulfed in a bright flash of light. And when it receded we found ourselves far away from the cosy confines of Twilight’s castle. I found myself standing in what seemed to be a small village, populated by two dimensional paper figurines that flittered to and fro. It was a lot like Ponyville, only with a much darker vibe to it, and the fact that everything seemed to have a hand drawn quality to it. I had changed as well, my clothes were gone, replaced by the outfit I’d selected for my character; a little something based off one of those Assassin’s Creed games my son used to love. I looked around in surprise, and saw and equally changed Spike and Big Mac across the square, with an unchanged Discord beside them. “Discord!” I snapped. “What the hell?!” “It’s okay, Roger,” Spike called out. “Discord’s been doing this for us ever since he joined the group. Instead of just role playing ,we actually play out our adventure.” “Don’t worry,” Discord added with a smile. “I’ve added a few safety features. You can’t be hurt or feel too much pain. This is just me using my magic for a bit of good, clean fun.” I was dumbstruck. “So, what,” I asked. “You three take part in real adventures in this fantasy world?” The trio nodded. “Cool!” Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t mind an RPG tabletop game, but this was something else. I guess it also showed how far Discord had come in his reformation. It certainly made my evening a lot more interesting all of a sudden, I can tell you! Having quickly chatted together for a moment, Discord had me head back over to the tavern across the square, leaving himself, Spike and Big Mac to begin the next part of their adventure. Spike, or rather Garbunkle, turned to Sir McBiggun. “Well, your spear took a real pounding in the hydra’s maw Sir McBiggun,” Garbunkle said, gesturing to the warping of the metal. “We found a fair bit of gold on that spider creature back in Darkhaven. Why don’t we spend it to get you something a bit more powerful like a halberd? “Eeyup,” Sir McBiggun agreed, taking a sad look at his damaged weapon. “Then we go to the blacksmith’s to forge a new weapon for Sir McBiggun,” Garbunkle said as the pair crossed the small town square. “As you cross the square,” Discord went on. “You hear a commotion coming from the tavern. It sounds like there’s a fight going on inside. Do you want to see what is going on?” “Eeyup,” Sir McBiggun said, quickly crossing back and heading for the source of the noise. Bursting in through the door, the noise suddenly stopped as all eyes turned to the newcomers. Discord explained the situation. “As you enter the now quiet tavern, you see two deer fighting over the favour of a pretty doe. They are clashing horns again and again as the patrons cheer them on and money changes hooves. In the far corner of the room though, you see two creatures seemingly uninterested in the bout. One is a large, intimidating looking changeling, dressed in an ostentatious outfit. The other is a human, he is a little larger than his counterpart, and dressed in worn clothes, although you notice a short sword resting against his side that is in beautiful condition. It does him little use though, since the changeling has a flintlock pistol, cocked and ready, resting on the wooden table.” “Going somewhere, Rowain?” the changeling asked as I went to get up to join Garbunkle and Sir McBiggun. “Yes, Amaz,” I replied, sitting back down again. “I was just going to see your boss. Tell Phase that I’ve got the money.” The big bug rasped at me. “It’s too late. You should have paid him when you had the chance. Phase put a price on your head so large, every bounty hunter for miles will be looking for you. I’m lucky I found you first.” “Yeah, but this time, I’ve got the money,” I replied, feigning nonchalance. “If you give it to me, I might forget I found you,” Amaz said with a twisted grin. “I don’t have it with me!” I replied crossly. “Tell Phase...” “Phase is through with you!” Amaz snapped back. I slowly went to reach for the throwing dagger that I kept on my belt, close to the small of my back. “He has no time for smugglers who drop their shipment at the first sign of a guard patrol.” I rolled my eyes. “Even I get caught sometimes,” I replied, still carefully reaching for the weapon. “Do you think I had a choice?” “You can tell that to Phase. He may only take your wagon.” Now I scowled at the audacious bug. “Over my dead body,” I replied coldly, keeping a close eye on the pistol that still rested on the table, pointing at me. “That’s the idea,” Amaz replied, tensing the trigger on the pistol in his green magic. “I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time, Rowain.” He smiled, and I smiled back. Now or never. “Yes, I’ll bet you have.” With one fluid movement, I hurled the throwing dagger at him with my left hand. Before he even had a chance to react, the little dagger had impaled him neatly between the eyes. Out of reflex, he pulled the trigger, but the shot went wild, missing me by miles. The smoke from the powder hung in the air as he pivoted forward, dead. The whole place went quiet, the two newcomers looking on in shock Sighing to myself, I got up and collected my things. Pausing at Amaz’s side I took the handle of the dagger in my hand and gave a firm tug to pull it back out of his skull. It was stained with green blood and brain matter, which now oozed onto the wooden table. Pocketing the weapon, I turned to go, pausing only to speak to the bartender. “Sorry about the mess,” I said awkwardly as I walked out. Garbunkle and Sir McBiggun stared on dumbstruck at the sudden display as I made my way outside into the damp air of the swamplands. “Wow,” Garbunkle said, turning to his unicorn companion. “Did you see that?” “Eeyup,” Sir McBiggun said in earnest agreement. “That guy killed that changeling without even blinking. And from what it sounds like, he knows this area really well too.” Discord agreed. “The human is a resident smuggler,” he explained. “Running contraband across the border for the local crime lords. But a lost shipment has drawn their ire, and now he needs to escape to pastures new. You could ask him to join your party as a mercenary.” “He certainly would help us getting through Sharpdale Woods,” Garbunkle said. “If the two of us go in alone, we’re probably going to get caught out by one of the mimics or any other number of traps, never mind the guard patrols that are on the lookout for wizards like me. What do you, Sir McBiggun, should we try to hire him?” “Eeyup.” And so we all played along in the little scene. I won’t bore you with too much of the details. Long story short, I, or rather, Rowain, agreed to join the party for twenty gold; a pretty modest sum, but still a decent boost considering how much of my starting gold I spend on kit. I agreed to help the pair through the treacherous woodlands that my character knew so well. After that, the adventure really kicked off. It would have been fun enough playing it on the tabletop. But as it was, it was even more incredible to actually live the adventure, minus the disadvantages that come with being perilously close to sixty. In Discord’s game world, it was like I was a young man again, and of course, I had the skills of my game character. I might have a few tricks up my sleeve, but I’ve no experience in sword fighting or knife throwing like I did in the game. Then again, the same could be said for Spike and Big Mac. Aside from breathing fire, which actually wasn’t a skill Spike’s character possessed in the game, Spike had little experience in magic aside from what he learned from Twilight. Nor did Big Mac have any experience in what it was like to be a unicorn. But that was the point, wasn’t it? It was all a fantasy, an escape from our mundane (well, sort of, if you count playing D&D with a dragon, a talking pony and a chaos spirit mundane) lives. And it let us enjoy our own adventures for a change, particularly with Spike having the ultimate goal of saving a princess who was quite clearly not Rarity, and no way resembled her in any way, shape or form, and any supposed similarity, of which there was none, was entirely coincidental and not to brought up in game. Yes, I know about the little drake’s crush. Together, the three of battled our way through the woods, encountering all sorts of monsters and foes, from mimics, basilisks and manticores, along with more mundane foes like roving groups of bandits and religious zealots. I probably had more fun that evening with the lads than I had in quite a long time. In the past, I’d always been quite the introvert, and while not quite a shut in, after getting married, I’d lived a pretty quiet life, with not too many friends. It’s not that I was anti-social or anything, I just didn’t feel the need for company as often, and I had little interest in your typical male interests. To this day I still have no idea what the offside rule is in football. However, with Spike, Mac and Discord, I’d found a surprising amount of common ground. We all bonded over our shared love of O&O, amongst other things. And as I said at the start, it was nice just to be around my own gender for a change. While I’ve nothing against mares or women, you do sometimes need a break from them. Nopony, or human or chaos spirit for that matter, can put up with the colour pink and love hearts on everything for more than a few weeks at a time. After the game wound down, we thought of a few other things we could do on our Guys’ Night. To Discord’s credit, and my unending surprise, he actually had quite a few good ideas for a night on the town. He and my son would get along over their love of swing, jazz, big band music, as well an an appreciation for fine cigars and good liquor. Now if only Discord could stop messing with him for fun. Of course, we couldn’t exactly do all that. While Discord could quite happily poof us all off to a great little bar he knew in Hocklyn in Manehattan, it seemed a bit unfair to Spike, since he’d be a bit excluded. “Oh, c’mon,” Discord complained, pouting. “We can just give him a soda or something. Drinking with your buddies doesn’t require alcohol.” “We’re not taking Spike to a jazz bar, Discord,” I replied firmly. “If nothing else it’s against licensing regulation for them to let minors in.” “Oh, that’s easily fixed,” the draconequus replied. He was about to snap his talons when Spike stopped him. “Dude, hoarding instinct, hoarding instinct!” he warned in a fearful tone. “Oh, right,” Discord realised, staying his magic. As a young dragon, Spike was not too dissimilar to a pony. But as we’d seen previously, as a dragon aged, their desire to hoard things grew, and had previously caused him problems, resulting in a brief rampage through Ponyville, something he’s still deeply ashamed and embarrassed about. “Well what can we do?” Big Mac asked, still sitting at the map table, working on one of the game models. I thought for a moment before an idea came to me. Snapping my fingers, I turned to my three companions. “Tell you what,” I said. “It’s a warm enough night tonight. How about we head outside near Mac’s farm, get a good fire going, and cook some smores like we’re in the scouts? We can relax, talk, have a beer or three. We can even grab a couple ciders for Spike.” We all agreed, so we left the confines of the castle and headed out into the night air. Discord was kind enough to use his magic to conjure up some supplies and kit. Personally, while I had no qualms about building a fire, I didn’t fancy chopping down one of Mac’s apple trees to do it. Heading out of Ponyville, we hopped over the white fence that marked the border of Sweet Apple Acres and picked out a spot in a nice little clearing, not too far from the lake. Here, on the open grasslands, we settled down. Discord laid out a couple of logs for us to sit on, and we all set to work making a nice little fire pit. A few matches and a couple gallons of petrol later, and we had a good fire going to keep away the slightly chilly night breeze. It was still pretty warm out though, and the light of the fire brought the fireflies around us, something I’d never really come across in my youth. The best you could hope for was midges that had the annoying habit of flying into your mouth. Between the light of the fire, and the silver moon that hung in the sky, we had plenty of light that cast beautiful shadows. The sky above was clear, and I have no doubt that Bones would be out stargazing right about now, maybe with Apple Bloom alongside him. As for Mac, Spike, Discord and me, we quickly broke out the elevenses. We had marshmallows, smores, and Discord even conjured up some sausages, although the smell of the sizzling meat made Mac turn green in disgust. Discord however, had a very different idea of sustenance. Aside from the barrel of cider he’d ‘borrowed’ from the Apples’ cellar, he also had snapped into existence a strange looking contraption. It was a strange thing, looking at least somewhat like a floor lamp, standing about two to three feet tall, the cylindrical object bulged slightly at the top, with a much larger glass bowl at the bottom, this was filled partly with water. Extending from the top, there was a long rubber tube that ended in a mouthpiece that made it seem like some odd musical instrument. But this was no musical instrument. “Discord,” I said, pausing in my own cider. “Is that a hookah?” The draconequus took a long, philosophical drag from the contraption, before blowing out a good lungful of slightly flavoured tobacco smoke. “Seems that way,” he commented. I was actually surprised by him for once. Normally, at this point, I’d expect the hookah to come alive like some sort of messed up snake. But instead, he just continued to puff away softly, staring off into the middle distance. “Where did you even get that, anyway?” I asked. Smoking isn’t really a thing in Equestria, aside from a couple of references to pipes, I’ve not seen a single pony smoking. There certainly don’t seem to be any cigarettes. “Saddle Arabia,” Discord answered, taking another drag. “Mind if I...” I asked. Discord shrugged his shoulders and, snapping his talons, conjured up another one for me. Picking up the pipe, I took a drag of the scented tobacco. It actually wasn’t half bad. I haven’t smoked since before I met Margaret, and it was nice to do something like this with just a few friends. While Discord and I slowly worked through our bowls, Mac and Spike stuck to nursing a cider, as well as toasting the marshmallows over the warm fire. Obviously, there was no way we were going to let Spike anywhere near the hard cider, never mind tobacco. Mac too declined the offer of a bowl for himself, saying that he never cared for it, and continued to stare into the fire, as we all did in quiet contemplation. A pleasant silence settled over our little group. The evening was pretty much winding down. We’d had plenty of fun playing O&O; both real and imaginary and now we were all able to just relax and enjoy the peace and tranquillity of the evening. Eventually, what with Spike and Mac feeling a little left out, Discord used his magic to remove the pair of hookahs, We went back to just enjoying ciders and a few snacks cooked over the fire. The four of us chatted about odds and ends, the three of them certainly liked the idea of me joining in on their little Guys Night. We ended up talking about what we could do next week. “Tell you what,” Spike suggested. “Why don’t we head down to the bowling alley. Tonight’s open lane night anyway. We could have our own mini tournament. And that place has great pizza too.” “I’m down for that,” I agreed. “Eeyup,” Mac added. All eyes turned to Discord. “Well, I suppose I could go easy on you,” he admitted. “But I get to chose what we do next week.” “There’s an idea,” I suggested. “Why don’t we have a rotating schedule or something. Each week, one of us arranges all the activities for the evening.” “Yeah,” Spike agreed with a nod. “I love playing O&O, but it would be nice to get out of the castle once in a while. I certainly wouldn’t mind seeing what Discord’s idea of a fun night is.” “Hell, we could even make a weekend of it,” I said. “Maybe we could all head out to Manehattan or Luna Bay for a fishing weekend.” “Ah sure wouldn’t mind visitin’ Las Pegasus,” Mac added. Ah, now we hit a little bump in the road. “You might have some trouble there my monosyllabic friend,” Discord replied. “Roger and I are both decidedly persona non grata up there.” “Really,” Spike asked. “Why?” Discord grinned as he looked at me. I could already feel the blush creeping up. “Well, you see,” he said, “It all started when Roger and I got ourselves absolutely...” I decided to cut him off there. Grabbing his muzzle, I pinned his mouth shut. “Okay, nopony needs to hear that story, old man,” I said to Discord, forcing a smile. Of course, that only egged Spike and Big Mac on. And so, the pair ended up hearing about how Discord and I went to Las Pegasus, went gambling, got very drunk on comped drinks, and how I got briefly married to Discord (which Margaret quickly got annulled the next morning), before getting in fight with a really uncool pit boss (who started the whole thing anyway by calling me an ape) and wound up briefly in jail, before my wife bailed me out, and I woke up on my sofa at home with a terrible hangover. They both thought it was funny as hell. And, well, in hindsight, it was. I mean, Margaret gave me hell for it, and in the manner of women, filed my offence away to be brought up in a later arguments. But looking back, it was just so utterly ridiculous. Even Celestia, who has her ways of finding these sorts of things out, found it quite amusing. And so I traded in a bit banter with the guys. While I’d never bring up Spike’s crush on Rarity, I do know from Bones about how he once got jealous of Twilight’s pet owl, and as for Big Mac, there’s that whole Smartypants thing. Discord though, is by far the easiest to poke fun at, assuming you’ve made peace with whatever deity you pray to. Luckily, as the closest thing he has to a best friend besides Fluttershy (who he’s crushing on hard) and Celestia (who I honestly think might actually be into him a bit), I have a bit of leeway. I mean, let’s face it, he’s an immortal, near omnipotent chaos being, and he got beaten by six girls and a rainbow. It’s not hard to mock. And so, we all traded barbs for a bit, until eventually, our little gathering broke up to head home. By now it was getting seriously late. Much longer, and I expected a panicking Twilight to teleport in looking for Spike. Margaret would be back from her PTA meeting, or whatever it was, by now as well. We all agreed to meet up next week to try out a bowling night. And for once, it wasn’t a cover story.