Celestia walked through the hallway, her face expressionless; hiding the whirlwind of emotions that she felt inside her. Decades upon decades of political and diplomatic trade had thought her to keep a neutral expression no matter what she felt, and right now, she was glad she had mastered it. There was just too much pain inside her right now, pain that she wanted to keep away from the others. She was a Princess, the ruler of a nation, they mustn’t see her broken.
Left unharmed after the attack, Celestia was still nonetheless hurt by it. Celestia had rushed towards Sunflower once Golden Shield was subdued, but all she could do was stand there and watch, as she looked down on the mare.
She just stood there as she died, watched as her beloved and loyal friends and secretary drew her last breaths. The sight of her on the stage, lying there in pain, the sight of her crying and panicking, the sight of her crying for her daughter, they were all still fresh in her mind.
The poor sight, the terrible cry, the fresh memory just hurt so much.
She was helpless to do anything, unable to help her friend. Despite all her power and might, even she could not stop death. It was beyond her control, yet she wish it wasn’t.
She felt so helpless and she hated the feeling.
Sunflower had been her personal secretary, had been her confidant, and her friend, for so long. The mare had dedicated her life to her service and had done such a good job too. Sunflower deserved a lot of things for her duty. And yet, all she got was an early death.
Celestia had seen friends die before; she had seen such things many times before. But never had she ever witnessed the death of a friend through such a gruesome way.
To lose her, to such a tragic event, it hurt too much. Even now, it felt so unreal, as if it didn’t happen. But her mind and her heart knew that it was. It was as if a part of her just disappeared, stolen and taken away.
Remembering that terrible moment made her feel torn, but it also reminded her of a duty she must do. An important task that she must fulfill for her friend.
There was no promise made, but for her friendship she will do it. She must do it.
Mind lost in deep thought, she unconsciously made her way through the castle, her steps keeping a steady pace, as she gazed forward and kept quiet. In these empty halls of marble, only the sound of hooves echoed, as the world around her seemed dark and void.
Trotting beside her and taking no notice of the Princess’ silence, Lieutenant Silver Arrow spoke in a clear calm voice, giving off his report to the alicorn.
“I have all the Guards securing every entrance to the castle, the entire place is in a complete lockdown. Every floor, every open balcony and every door has a detachment of Guards standing ready. We’ve also had Magical Warfare Division casts mind control blocks on my Guards, so that there won’t be any more ponies falling under mind spells. I can assure you, Princess, whomever attacked us may have gotten lucky earlier, but they sure won’t now. As for Captain Golden Shield…well…he is currently unconscious after being seized and is now detained and locked up in his quarters.” Pausing, Silver Arrow gave the Princess a sad mournful look, breaking his stern expression. “Princess, I don’t know what got to him, but once he wakes up I promise you that I will do what I can to find out.”
Snapping from her thought for a moment and turning her head to look at the officer before her, she gave him a slow nod.
“Yes, very good, Lieutenant, you have done your duty well. Thank you.” She said, surprised to hear that her voiced seemed lonelier than it should have been. Looking at Silver Arrow, she could see and feel the sincerity with in him. Just like her, and many others, he too was shocked and devastated by today’s events.
It was sudden and out of nowhere and it seemed to bring their lives to standstill. She personally felt lost, and she could tell that many others were just as lost as her.
But they had a job and duty to do and during this moment she knew that she had a task to fulfill, a pledge she had promised. To think about it made her a drop in her heart and she had to use all her willpower in order to suppress a tear from sliding down her face.
Quickly turning her attention forward once more, she decided speak no more, not wanting her escort to catch on to her sadness.
Making their way through the castle and going up the Royal tower, Celestia and Silver Arrow soon found themselves in front of the Princess’ Royal quarter, where two Guards stood still as silent sentinels. Saluting the Princess as they approached, Celestia gave them both a gentle nod. With the castle in full alert, she knew that she’ll have a permanent guard by her door until it was lifted.
Turning towards Silver Arrow, she quietly dismissed the officer so that he can go back to his duties of managing the security of the Royal castle.
“I’ll update you as soon as possible regarding any other happenings, Princess.” He told her. “Rest assured, your Majesty, the Royal Guard will protect you tonight.”
“Thank you.” Celestia simply said, too tired to speak any further and too drained to say anything else. Giving a small nod, one that showed the weight she was feeling within, she looked away from the officer and turned towards her door.
What waited her beyond this thin piece of wood?
She knew she shouldn’t be scared, she knew that she needed to be strong for this. But how can anypony ever be ready for something like this?
The fear within her raged like a great fire, as her heart pumped harder and harder. It made the few seconds of her standing in front of her door feel like an eternity. But she knew she had to open it, she couldn’t stay in this moment forever.
The image was still fresh in her mind and the sadness still present in her heart. To look down and stare at the fading soul, to nuzzle the cold lifeless form before her, and to whisper to an unhearing ear.
I’ll watch over her for you. I’ll treat her as if she was my own.
It was still with her. It will forever be with her. She didn’t know if she’ll be able to forget.
Now it was time to do what she said. Despite her hesitation, despite her uncertainty on what was about to happen, she knew that she must do it. She could not pause time, she must go forward.
Slowly opening the door with her magic, Celestia stuck her head in and took a peek inside to see a small gray filly bundled up and sleeping on her bed. Grasping a pillow between her hooves, the little filly gently slept, unaware of the happenings of the world. There truly was nothing more relaxing than the quiet sleeping form of a filly and Celestia felt heartbroken knowing that she’ll have to disturb her.
Quietly entering, slowly closing the door behind her and making sure to lightly move across the room, Celestia soon reached the bed and smoothly plot herself on it. Laying down next to the filly, she looked down at the innocent form and gave a sad weak smile. She could still remember the filly’s mother call out her name.
Silver Wing…
To remember it now seemed haunting, and she couldn’t help but feel a chill run down her spin thinking about it now.
But she quickly brushed it aside as she stared at the small form before her. She needed to be strong for this filly, she mustn’t let her feel that she was broken. She had let the sadness reign long enough, now she needed to be strong to bring comfort.
Placing a hoof on her regalia, she paused for a moment before deciding to take it off.
She was not a Princess here, not now. This was something personal, something that didn’t need her title of Princess.
Lifting her regalia with her magic, she gently placed them on a nearby table as she moved forward and scooted closer towards the filly. For a moment the filly’s ear twitched from the movement around her, but it soon relaxed as the small form returned to its gentle slumber.
She was quite a beautiful site, Celestia thought as she watched the filly. She was sure that Sunflower was more than proud of her. From all she could remember of the little filly, from all her encounters in the office, Silver Wing was one cute bundle of joy, a smart one too. She was just like her mother, albeit a younger more playful version.
Placing a gentle hood on the filly’s back, she slowly began to stroke her soft coat as she slept, feeling the raising and falling of her breathing as she ran her hoof on her. She surely didn’t look like her mother though. Aside from the eyes, she looked nothing like her.
For a moment, Celestia couldn’t help but think of the filly’s father and how he had the nerve to just leave her and her mother behind. Despite Sunflower being a strong mare who always worked hard, she still had her limits. No matter how good she was, she couldn’t raise a filly alone.
Celestia knew that all too well, as she remembered days where Sunflower would bring Silver Wing to work. Days where the little filly would run around the Princess’ office and do whatever she can to entertain herself, as Celestia and Sunflower watched over her and worked. Days where Celestia would offer to have Silver Wing rest in her room, so that the filly could get some rest and be picked up by her mother at the end of the day.
Days that seemed familiar to this, except instead of having her mother waking her up, it would be Celestia.
Gently stroking Silver Wing’s back, Celestia soon noticed that the filly beneath her was shifting now. Moving beneath the alicorn’s hoof, the little filly slowly began to wake up, us her ears twitched, while a hoof moved to rub her face. Then, gaining enough consciousness to feel the hoof on her back, the filly’s eyes shot open as her head looked up expecting to see a familiar face.
What she saw was indeed a familiar face, but it wasn’t exactly what she was expecting.
“Princess Celestia?” Silver Wing said, confused, as she looked up.
Not knowing what to say, Celestia just smiled and gave a small nod. She felt scared and nervous, more nervous than she had been in her life. What was she to say? What was she to do? The fear inside of her was building up, as the scene unfolded before her.
“Where’s mommy?” The filly said, her voice innocent and clueless.
It was like a knife to Celestia’s heart to hear her say that. How was one to tell a young filly like her that her mother was gone forever?
She didn’t feel her lips pen to answer, and yet words soon came out of her mouth as she looked down at the innocent filly before her.
“She had to go.” She said, and immediately winced when she heard it. That was the worst and most stupid thing she or anypony could say in a situation like this and she felt so much regret in having said it. With all the sadness and whirlwind of emotion in her, she felt like she was breaking down inside as she tried to tell the young pegasus the faith of her mother.
“Go?” Silver Wing said, eyes looking at her with curiosity and a hint of panic? “Go where? Did mommy leave me behind?”
Already the weight was becoming too much for Celestia’s heart to handle and the innocence in her words were making it hurt more and more. There were no more walls now, all the emotion was overflowing and as every drop of it spread through her, a small stream of tears ran down her cheeks.
Biting her lip before sighing, Celestia knew that she mustn’t completely break down. This was such a simple task, yet it was too hard for her.
Moving her head down to be level with the grey coated filly, Celestia tried to smile but felt it falter many times in those long minutes inside that room.
“Silver Wing, little one…” She said, gaining the courage to go through this without pausing any longer. “…do you know what angels are?”
“Yes!” The filly replied, her young mind having been distracted by a seemingly unrelated topic. “Mommy says that they are these beautiful ponies who live up in the sky, higher than any pegasus can go, and watch over all the ponies below and keep them safe.”
“Very good, little one, that’s a good sharp mind you have there.” Celestia said with a sad smile. “Well, the reason I’m saying this now to you is to tell you…to tell you that your mother is an angel...”
“She is?” Silver Wing said, eyes wide.
“Yes, little one, she is, and the most beautiful one out of them all.”
“Wow!” The filly said in awe. “My mommy is an angel!”
“She is…she is…” Celestia said with a wavering voice, more teal constantly streaming down the white fur of her cheeks. “But sadly, all angels must return home, high above the clouds, and your mother…your mother was called today and she had to go back to her home high above the sky.”
Now all the excitement in the filly’s face was gone, as it was drained out and replaced by something else, sadness.
“Mommy had to go back home?” She said, her voice emitting the pain she felt from what she heard. “She left without me… So, mommy did leave me behind?”
“What? Oh, no, no, no.” Celestia said, as she began to wipe the forming tears from the filly’s eyes. “She didn’t leave you behind; she is still here with you and always will be, even when you don’t see her.”
“She is?” Silver Wing asked, teary eyes looking up at a heartbroken Celestia.
“Yes, little one, she is.” Celestia said with a smile. “And she’s right here.”
With a gentle movement, she placed the tip of her hoof right on the filly’s chest.
“She will be right there in your heart, and she will always be there no matter what. Whether it’s during the happy moments or the sad moments, she will be there with you.”
Looking down and placing her own hoof on her chest, Silver Wing paused for a moment before looking up again.
“But…” The filly said, her eyes now wet with tears as she started to cry. “…will…will I get to see her again?”
At that moment Celestia was lost for words. Before her was a shattered filly, one who could not comprehend what was happening, and one who was worried sick to have her mother with her. But she wasn’t there, and she never will be again. But how can she understand that?
Starting out as a gentle trickle, Celestia could feel more tears roll down her eyes as the simple question brought thousands of stabs to her heart. She didn’t know the answer, and she didn’t know how to reply.
Looking back at Silver Wing, Celestia could see the affect her uncertainty had brought on the filly.
Crying hard now and shaking from the rush of emotion, Silver Wing was left curled up, lost and confused at the news she received. Inside, Celestia cursed herself for not handling things better, but new that there was nothing that can be done now, what has happened has happened and all this filly needed was some love and comfort.
Without hesitation, Celestia quickly wrapped her hooves around the crying filly and pulled her close towards her, holding her tight and letting her face bury on her chest. As she held her, she also let her own tears roll down as they both let out the sadness of their lost.
Trying to soothe Silver Wing with gently coos, as she sniffled and cried her own tears, Celestia kept up the long hug on the young bundle of fur and feathers. Nuzzling her and trying to calm herself down to help the filly, Celestia knew that it was a difficult time for her.
Now or never, Celestia knew that Silver Wing needed her mother, but she was not here, not anymore.
Sunflower, for you and your daughter, I will step up to be her mother.