//------------------------------//
// Chapter Fourteen - Lamplight 
// Story: Fairlight - To the Edge of Midnight 
// by Bluespectre 
//------------------------------//


CHAPTER FOURTEEN 

LAMPLIGHT


Morning came with the now expected lack of anything other than the ever present stars. The darkness was slightly lighter I suppose, but it was a bit like the difference between light cream and magnolia paint. In other words, bugger all. I yawned expansively and attacked an itch on my neck with a good scratch. Sand fell away like rain, which unfortunately didn’t include any of the distinctively pungent odour I’d acquired during all my exertions recently. I was desperate for a bath, and frankly I was surprised the girls hadn’t commented on it. Hang on, didn’t I have my cleaning kit on me? Yes! The stream would furnish a good makeshift bath, and although it might be as cold as the devil’s buttocks, it would do the job well enough for my purposes. Best make sure the girls weren’t watching first though, I didn’t fancy an audience while I washed the ol’ particulars. I threw off my blanket and pulled myself out of the sleeping bag. A cup of tea first off, maybe some warmed up pastries too. The fire was still banked and wouldn’t take long to get going again, but that could wait whilst I- 

“Girls?” I groaned and flopped back onto my bedding roll. But of the three females, there was no sign other than some disturbance in the sand which ended abruptly at the edge of the road. I should have seen this coming a mile off. “Damn it all...” At least they’d left a note, which was sitting atop a rock and weighted down with a smaller one. It read,

Dearest Nephew,

Briar, Shade and I are heading back to Maroc’s tribe. I’m sorry for not telling you last night or staying to say goodbye, but believe me when I say that doing it this way is going to be a lot easier on both you and Shade. Your offer of allowing us to stay with your family meant a great deal to us, and I think it shows how much you have matured since I saw you last. However, as much as I would love to see Meadow and Sparrow again, until this business with Vela is concluded, Briar and I both agreed that our proximity to you would endanger us all, including Meadow and Sparrow. So, my dear nephew, I shall bid you farewell for now and hope to see you again soon.

Love,

Aunt Pewter. 

P.S/ If you find yourself back in Equestria, check in on Madame Pot-pourri at the Whistling Ferret in Lillypond would you? She took in my cats when I was on my last legs, but I think she’s feeding them mackerel when I distinctly told her they only like river trout. Also, what did you do with the books I left you? If you had bothered to read them, you may have actually remembered who Herath was!

Well that was bloody marvellous, wasn’t it? Shade, Briar, and Pewter bugger off and leave me here high and dry! I’d barely had five minutes with them too. With a heartfelt groan I flipped the note over. There was more:

Don’t keep hold of this note.

“Eh?” Suddenly the piece of paper burst into yellow flame and I leaped back in alarm, “OW! Celestia’s ears, that crazy old lunatic!” 

The hot flames engulfed the note turning it into ash in the blink of an eye, along with a goodly number of my leg hairs which left me with the delicious aroma of burnt hair in my nostrils. Lovely… The stupid old fart. I suppose she did have a point about the books though. Tingles and I had kept them at the agency barracks, but I’d been so busy I hadn’t spent more than a few minutes reading the damned things. The ever diligent Tingles on the other hoof, had, and to my embarrassment I’d relied on her to point out the more salient points. Not that there was much there past folklore, poems and a load of dreary old bollocks that meant bugger all to me anyway. Of course the part about Herath had been the very first thing I’d learned about Vela and the massacre of the wendigo in the mountains. It too was where I’d found out about the destruction of their fortress and the borderline genocide committed by everyponies favourite white alicorn. But, as usual, I hadn’t remembered any of it until it was too late. Far, far too late. 

“Fairlight, you’re an idiot,” I groaned aloud. 

Gods, I didn’t even know what had happened to the blasted things since I’d left to go to Shining Borders. With everything else that had been going on, lugging around some musty old books of wendigo fairy stories hadn’t exactly been at the top of my priority list. At the time Lumin had been foal-napped by changelings, and after that… well, if I’m being completely honest I just kinda forgot about them. Oh, and being dead ‘may’ have had something to do with it too of course. 

Considering the current state of affairs I don’t think anypony would blame me if I simply walked off into the mountains and disappeared like the rest of the wendigo. But what would that achieve? Shade and Briar were still in danger, as was Lumin, although the whole ‘Vela threat’ thing still felt a little ‘woolly’ truth be told. One egg wasn’t going to remove all the barriers preventing the wendigo using their magic here was it? But then, look at me; I hadn’t had any of the Roc’s egg and my wendigo power was back. Unfortunately it had taken being poisoned and the occasional life or death situation, but for better or worse my magic had returned and I felt on top of the world. It’s possible I was a one off of course, or worse, Vela’s manipulation of my situation had shown him exactly what he needed - the way to achieve his goals. There was also the matter of my being a ‘half breed’ rather than a ‘true’ wendigo, which may have had something to do with it I suppose. As much as I hated thinking about Vela’s reference to my being a ‘mongrel’, the results spoke for themselves. Speaking of which, I was starving! Now if there’s one thing I can do right, it’s make a decent camp fire, and in short order I had the banked coals stirred up and I was back in business. Soon enough the smell of bacon and mushrooms began to waft around my makeshift camp site. It was something I’d missed since my days in Equestria: camping beneath the open sky, the feel of the cool air on your fur, the smell of the outdoors, and the crackle of the campfire. I loved it. And good food, especially at breakfast time, can really set you up for the day ahead. A cup of good quality tea would also hit the spot, and that was precisely what it did. Briar had thought of everything: tea, pastries, travellers biscuits, and even some sticky honeyed treats wrapped in a type of paper that stopped their sweet contents from leaking out and spoiling the rest of the food. Remarkable! I was going to miss her, and Shade, and even Pewter to a degree. I stifled a chuckle. She may be a miserable old sod and mad as a box of frogs, but her heart was in the right place.

Stomach full and my clothes laid out, it was time for that wash I’d been promising myself. The water was strange here in the Darklands, yet as much as it tended to look like black quill ink, for all intents and purposes it was exactly the same as water anywhere in the herd, or Equestria for that matter. It even tasted pretty good, and made an excellent cup of tea. Best not to look too closely at it of course, but I didn’t mind my tea black. I sluiced myself off with a few bowlfuls of water, lathered, and then scrubbed myself thoroughly before rinsing off once again. It was probably freezing, but that was one of the advantages of being a wendigo, wasn’t it? Cold meant nothing to me now. I could still tell it was cold of course, but instead of the bone chilling shock of the frigid water, instead it felt pleasantly refreshing. And infinitely invigorating too. Gods, I hadn’t realised just how filthy I was and how good it felt to be clean once more. Now, towelled off and feeling altogether more like the stallion I should be, I finished dressing and fixed my packs on my back. The barding I strapped up and covered with my bedding roll. It was a little uncomfortable, but I didn’t have far to go thank Luna. Once I was back my first course of action was to get myself back to work and grovel to Zip Line. Hopefully I’d have to time to think of some plausible excuse on the way. Then, it was the hard part - going home to Meadow. With any luck she wouldn’t batter me to death with her rolling pin or plant a hoof in my mouth. Not that I didn’t deserve it of course, but we’d been through a lot worse than a few marital tiffs. Besides, I felt fantastic! No more of those damnable therapy sessions with the other misfits. No more weird puking or dizziness. Fairlight, the ex-watch stallion and last lord of the four winds, was back. Vela could wait. I’d deal with him when I was sure my family were safely out of his reach. Then, and only then, would all my accounts be paid in full. Right now, it was time to go home. 

I picked up the road with my head held high. Strangely I felt quite upbeat considering everything that had happened. Glimmer was safe, Maul and I were on good terms, and Shade, Aunt Pewter and Briar were on their way to Maroc’s tribe for safety. All in all the outcome was quite positive really. Sure, I could have escorted them to Maroc, but if those girls could take out twenty or so warrior then I doubted I had much to worry about. Goddess above, and that was just one mare! Imagine what the two of them could do with their magic combined? I shivered; it was terrifying. 

I was still grinning when I turned off the road and came face to face with the gorilla guarding the portal to the herd. His equestrian assistant was sat on a bench in front of the small guardhouse filing his hooves. 

“Halt! State your business!”

I smiled broadly, “Going home is my business, my good stallion.” 

I moved to walk past him but the thestral mountain of muscle sidestepped to block my path with a surprising degree of nimbleness. “Any contraband?” he asked in his gravelly voice.

“Bit of a lack of gift shops in the Darklands, I’m afraid,” I retorted cheekily. “So the answer’s ‘no’ today.”

“And that weapon?”

“Weapon? What-” I looked down to where he was staring and swore under my breath. “A wall hanger,” I explained with what I hoped would come across as an honest tone of voice. “I picked it up at a stall in the town.”

“Thought you said there was no gift shops, mate?” the pony called over from his perch. “Sounds like you’re trying to get one over on us.”

“It’s a present to myself,” I laughed. “I like quirky stuff, and this would look lovely over the mantelpiece. Honestly I’d forgotten it was there.” Which was true, unfortunately.

Quick as a flash the thestral guard flipped the keeper off the scabbard and drew out the scythe in one fluid motion. “A present to yourself… Yes?” He clicked the release and the black blade flicked out with a swish of air. “A very nice present, Equestrian.”

“Cor, look at that!” The pony jumped down from his bench and trotted over. “That’s some bit of kit you’ve got there!”

“It’ll come in handy for the lawn,” I said lightly. “My old one’s on its last legs and you know how fast the grass grows in the herd.”

“You’re pulling my plonker!” the stallion exclaimed loudly. “That things as sharp as my old girls tongue after a few jars! Fetlocks and buttocks, you could take a bloody hydra out with this!”

“There aren’t any hydras in the herd, are there?” I asked in genuine surprise.

The guard paused to scratch his neck, “Well… no. But it’s still bloody dangerous, innit?” He turned to his friend, “I don’t know about this, Char. You think it comes under section seventeen?”

“Illegal weaponry?” the big thestral replied.

“I think so.”

“Oh, for the goddess’s sake!” I exclaimed. “It’s a bloody garden tool!”

“What are you growing, deciduous dragons?” The stallion eyed the blade warily but somehow managed to maintain that infuriating look of disinterest that wasn’t quite what it seemed. Our boy here was a little more on the ball than I’d given him credit for it seems. “I think you’d best leave that here, mate,” he concluded.

“Like bollocks I am!” I took a step towards him and bumped straight into the immovable Char.

“Make another move, Equestrian,” he warned, “and I’ll put you in irons.”

His colleague nodded knowingly, “He means it. Thestral’s don’t do subtlety very well.”

“I know...” I muttered.

A peculiar chiming sound emanating from the hut caught my ears and drew the equestrian guards’ attention. “’Ello, sounds like the hot line,” the guard announced. “Keep him here, Char, and I’ll go see what the boss wants.”

As he walked away the hulking form of Char loomed over me. “Breed them big in your tribe, Char?” I asked.

Char said nothing.

“Strong silent type, eh?” I scratched my mane in thought, “Let me guess, Broken Cliff, right?”

“Scar River,” came the monolithic reply.

I frowned in thought, “Can’t say I’ve ever heard of them. I’ve met the Broken Cliff, Beyond, and Purple Sands tribes, but Scar River is a new one on me.”

“They were conquered by the Purple Sands,” Char replied. His way of talking made a glacier seem nimble in comparison. 

“Oh...” I sensed I’d put a hoof right in it here. “I’m sorry.”

Char stood in silence, his burning eyes locked onto me like glue. After an uncomfortable few seconds he finally spoke, “Why are you sorry?”

“Because I know how important the tribe is,” I said honestly. “I also know how important honour is to you thestrals.”

The big guy’s stone faced expression gave little away, “They were stronger. We were weak. They are now part of a strong tribe. It is the will of the goddess.”

He spoke as if explaining things to an idiot. Or a child. And as for ‘the will of the goddess’, I doubted that somehow. Char’s tribe had been attacked and the survivors amalgamated into the Purple Sands by the sound of it. Now the Purple Sands had been absorbed into the Beyond tribe under the guidance of Shadow’s sister. An alliance through marriage had been arranged with the Broken Cliff, and it was only a matter of time before all three became one in all but name. If they hadn’t already. There was a working relationship between them that was quite amazing considering the warlike nature of thestral society. Now that I thought about it, the whole situation was remarkably simplistic in a sense, and distinctly thestral. You fought for your tribe, you were loyal to the lord, and did your duty. If you lost to another tribe you swore fealty to the new lord, and life went on as it did before. There seemed to be little in the way of subjugation or prejudice towards a conquered foe. Quite the opposite in fact. You simply became one of the new gang, changed the colour on your armour and your banners, and bob’s your uncle. Now when it came to being beaten by the ‘White Witch’ and her minions, now that was a different matter altogether. Thestrals it seemed, had the same degree of memory retention as the proverbial elephant. They didn’t forget, and the didn’t forgive. Although, that might not necessarily be completely fair. My relationship with Shadow and her family was testament to that, if you excluded ‘mum’ of course. Maelstrom was as deranged as they came, and I could only hope to the goddess that it didn’t run in families. The old psychopath had tried to sell her daughter off to a minotaur for goodness sake. Can you imagine what children that pairing would have spawned? Half minotaur, half thestral? Gods what a thought!

“How do you know the tribes?” Char’s unearthly voice rumbled through my ruminations as effectively as a train through a flock of sheep.

“I was in the Withers for a while,” I replied conversationally. “I met the tribes and made friends with many of them.”

“Who?” Char pressed. “Who did you make friends with?”

Oh, great! Now I’d really put my hoof in it. Still, it was too late now to back out. “Star Beard,” I replied. “Thorn, Far Sight, Maelstrom, Ember. I’d give you a more exhaustive list, but you get the idea.”

Char’s tree trunk sized brows drew down and he turned his head away in thought. I took a breath and sighed quietly. I had the impression this was going to take some time. I distracted myself by dealing with an itch under my cloak that turned out to be some sand that must have got stuck there when I’d-

“What is your name, pony?”

“Huh?” I looked up in surprise. “Um… Fairlight. Fairlight Loam.”

“Fairlight...” Char scratched his mane, annihilating half the hair there in the process. “I have heard of a pony who slew the lord of the Purple Sands tribe in single combat.”

“Yeah...” I shrugged it off as of no import. “It seems like a lifetime ago now.” I couldn’t help but chuckle, “I guess it was. Quite literally really.”

“You killed him?” he asked.

Slowly I looked up at the great leathery armoured stallion and smiled as our eyes met, “I did. I gutted him from stem to stern and watched as the steam from his innards rose into the dark sky above the white city of the goddess.” Oh gods, I could see it now: the exhilaration of battle, the sound of clashing weapons, the screams and neighs of warriors fighting for their lives. It was the song of war, the dance with death and the joy of life, all in one glorious moment. This was where the wendigo lived. This place, this place with the taste of your enemy’s life essence on your tongue and the sweet smell of their still warm blood on your fur. It was wrong, and yet so right. The lord had been slain. All hail the new lord…

“Okay, Char! Looks like that leave request came through, buddy. We’ve got two weeks at the water resort in-” The equestrian guard stopped in his tracks to stare at us. “Hey, what’s going on? What have I missed?”

“Nothing.” Char abruptly moved aside, giving me a clear path to the portal. “Here.” The thestral pushed my scythe back into its scabbard. “Do not allow anyone to take your weapon so easily in future.”

“I…” I blinked in surprise, “I won’t, Char. I promise.”

“Eh?” The equestrian stallion began to walk towards us, “Hey, you can’t just-”

“He can go through.” Char shifted himself between myself and his colleague who backed off in surprise.

“But he’s armed!” the pony stallion protested. “The boss’ll go spare if he finds out about this!”

“But the boss won’t find out, will he, Sandal?” Char fixed his friend with a stern gaze. “And besides, we will be at the water park in Fern Hills, correct?”

“Well, um, yeah...”

As usual my curious mind shifted gears on me, “Fern Hills?” The two stallions turned to look at me as I continued, “Doesn’t, you know, having a thestral go there cause a few… erm, raised eyebrows? You know how flighty ponies are.”

Char watched me carefully before abruptly, and to my surprise, bursting out into a deafening roar of laughter, “YES!”

Sandal rolled his eyes and leaned towards me conspiratorially, “That’s why he likes to go.”

You had to love these guys. “I suppose I’d better go then,” I said pleasantly. “Oh, and Char?” I glanced back over my shoulder. “Thanks. It’s been a pleasure to meet you. Both of you.”

He merely nodded, but I did receive a rather overly enthusiastic wave from his friend, “See you again! Oh, and next time you’re passing this way could you bring some elderberry tea bags with you? They’re a sod to get in the Darklands. Aren’t I always saying that, Char? Honestly, one of these days I’ll have to make that trip to...”

Sandal’s words faded away as the world shifted in a burst of the now familiar silvery light. A split second later, blue sky, green grass, white buildings, and brightly coloured ponies slammed into my maladjusted eyes with all the subtlety of a pissed off rhino in a blanket shop. “Celestia’s bucking arse, my eyes…!” I hissed. Gods, I was half blind!

“Just a second!” a familiar voice chimed in my ears. “Let’s get the lights down for you and I’ll get those packs off so you can sit down while your eyes adjust.” I did as I was told and felt the tingle of magic as my equipment was levitated from my back. “Aaaannnd… There! All done.”

Carefully I opened one of my eyes just a crack, “Huh? What the hell…?” The typically brightly coloured equestrian scene before me turned out to be little more than a poster advertising ‘Fun! Frolicks! Dancing!’ and something else I couldn’t focus on right then. Unfortunately the headache was something I definitely could, “Oh, dear gods, my bloody head!” Hooves guided me to a pleasantly comfortable chair which I sank into gratefully. My packs and equipment were floated over to me a few seconds later, held in the glow of unicorn magic. “Funnel Cake?” I asked warily.

“That’s me!” The happy sounding mad scientist from the portal room stared into my eyes from below some weird apparatus, “Hold still while I check your vision.” The odd stallion fiddled with various dials and levers on the machine, nodding to himself whilst muttering under his breath. 

“What’s going on?” I asked. “Am I okay?”

“Of course you are, silly!” The black and white stallion leaned down and picked something up. “Your eyes have adjusted to the light of the Darklands and will take a little time to readjust. Now then, let’s get some drops in there and some sunglasses… here you go… and you’ll be right as rain in two shakes of a goat’s tail.”  

“I think that’s ‘lamb’, actually,” I mumbled, wincing as the cold drops plopped onto my tortured eyeballs.

“Meh. Lamb, goat, what’s the difference? They both bleat,” Funnel Cake said dismissively. “And they’ve all got those weird eyes too, have you noticed?” He shivered, “Woo hoo hoo! Give me the creeps every time I see one.”

Well, whatever the drops were they felt amazing. The cooling effect was just what I needed too. “Thanks,” I offered. “Um, am I okay to go now?”

“Put your sunglasses on and you most certainly can,” Funnel Cake replied happily. “It’ll be about half a day before you can take them off though. Until then you’ll be a tad sensitive to light.”

“I thought the magic of the herd fixed everything!” I groused.

“It does, for the most part” the stallion answered. “Just not always right away.” He placed the sunglasses on my muzzle. “There you go. Looking good, you’ll really wow the ladies now!”

“Er, Funnel Cake?” I asked.

The stallion busied himself with opening the curtains, “Hmm?”

“It might sound strange, but…” I took a breath and tried not to sound concerned. “What colour are my eyes?”

“EH?” The highly strung unicorn trotted over to me bearing an expression of utter incredulity. One that suggested he’d thought I’d completely lost my marbles as well as my sight. “Why, brown, I think,” he said. “Hang on...” Funnel Cake lifted the sunglasses and peered into my eyes as I winced at the intrusion of light. “Yup, brown they are. Both of them too.” Much to my relief he replaced the sunglasses and blessed darkness returned. “Try not to worry, I know they feel a bit strange after your trip to the thestral afterlife,” he explained, “but you’ll be fine. I’ve been there before myself and I had a similar reaction after only one day! I mean, it’s no wonder they’ve got those freaky eyes of theirs living in that darkness all the time. Give me the sun above and the grass below, and I’ll be a happy chappy for the rest of my days thank you very much.”

“Yeah...” I sat back and sighed. So much for being a wendigo again. Damn it! After all this time I’d thought… I thought I’d actually… I squeezed my eyes shut and rolled off the bed. Picking up my gear, which Funnel Cake kindly helped me strap into place, I gave myself a hard shake. I suppose it was time to go and face the music.

I bid the lab coated pony farewell and strode out into the glaring sunshine of the eternal herd. For want of a better word, it was home. Or as near to one as I was ever likely to get now. From The Wyvern’s Tail in Shining Borders, to mine and Meadow’s first home, I had never had time to set down the kind of roots I really wanted to. It wasn’t for lack of trying either. Every time, every damned time I’d tried, somepony or some thing would come along and destroy everything around me. And there I would stand, knee deep in the ashes of my dreams while my world burned. Gods, this life sucked balls. Who ever though the bloody afterlife would be better, eh? Buck me ragged… My stomach rumbled ominously, distracting my more melancholy thoughts. Maybe some food would help me perk up a bit? The smell tingling my nostrils right then drew me like a moth to a flame.

I walked gingerly up to the vendor, one of many taking advantage of the passing trade today. Still a little disorientated by the oddly dulled image of the world through the sunglasses, I tapped on the edge of the serving area to get his attention. “One bacon bun, a cup of tea - milk with one - and one of those kebabs too, please.”

The griffin blinked, “I am sorry?”

I closed my eyes and groaned. What a bloody day! Taking a deep breath I tried again, “One bacon bun. One cup of tea with milk and one sugar. One kebab.” I raised an eyebrow, “Please?”

The griffin stared at his colleague in the apron who was turning the kebabs over a barbecue. A quick squawking discussion later and the two swapped places, the cook peering at me with those weird avian eyes, “Can I help you?”

I face hoofed, “One bacon bun. One cup of tea with milk and-”

“No.” The griffin shook his head, making his feathers ripple in the faint breeze. “You not understand, pony.” He pointed at the notice hanging up on the end of his cart. “This meat, yes? Not for ponies. You no eat, yes?” He made a circling motion over his chest, “Bad tummies.”

“Bad tummies...” I could have screamed. “Listen friend, will you serve me or not?” I asked him levelly.

“No.” The griffin shook his head vigorously, “I lose my licence!”

“You won’t sell me any food?”

“No. I no sell food.”

I’d had enough. “Then you can take that kebab and shove it right up your bucking arse!” I roared. “I’m going to a real griffin’s shop for some real food and something that resembles decent bucking service too! No wonder Sea Scour keeps a low profile. Blasted, bloody…” 

I was still cursing to myself when a claw grabbed my shoulder. It was the griffin. “You say, Sea Scour, yes?” he asked pointedly. “You know him?”

“Yeah, what about it?” I replied.

The griffin saw my expression and removed his claw quickly. “He sell you food?”

“Yeah, ‘he sell me food’,” I replied sarcastically. “What’s it matter?”

“You wait, pony. Yes?”

“Bugger me...” I muttered. What the hell was going on here? They wouldn’t sell their wares to ponies? And what was that about licenses? Luna’s lugs, even here there was bloody bureaucracy and red tape. I mean seriously, what was the point? Currency had about as much value here as chocolate teapots, and money grubbing was still going on! Gods give me strength, what a thing to come back to. I was beginning to wonder whether I should have stayed longer in the Darklands when the griffin re-appeared.

“You take, yes?” A tray materialised before me covered in greaseproof paper and smelling of that most wonderful of things: bacon, together with the tantalising aroma of hot bread and onions. “Tea is in cup.” Sure enough a cup with a lid was pushed forward which I took in my magic. He wasn’t finished either. “One sugar. One milk.” He leaned towards me, “One kebab. Yes?”

“Yes.” I reached out and took the hot food, slipping it into my pack like some bloody thief on the take. “Thank you. How much do I-”

“No fee.”

I blinked in surprise. Griffins not taking money?! Something wasn’t right. “Why, what’s going on here?” I asked warily.

The griffin exhaled and glanced around in case anypony was listening. They weren’t. “Ponies not eat meat,” he explained squawkily. “Gods not like us doing this, yes? Sea Scour trust, so we trust.”

I hoped his butchery of meat was better than his butchery of my language. Each syllable was clipped and shortened with every clack of his beak, and as for his grammar - I was no scholar by any stretch of the imagination, but this guy made me look like a Celestian University level graduate.   In any case, I was so hungry I could eat a hippo.

“Thanks,” I nodded. “It’s very much appreciated.”

The griffin gave a single bob of his head, glanced around furtively once again, and then shot back to his mobile hot food stand as quick as a flash. Personally I let him go without another word. What was the point? I had my food, it was free, and I was bloody starving irrespective of the peculiarity of the griffin’s behaviour. It was at least quiet around here today and I was able to find a handy place to park myself out of the way of prying eyes to enjoy my prize. And dear gods, was it ever worth it! Normally I didn’t eat much bread, Meadow was always warning me about colic and not being able to digest it properly and so on and so forth. But this… oh, how it melted in your mouth! Meat juice dribbled down my chin and dripped onto my hind leg which I promptly licked off. Onions, bread, meat; what a combination! I finished the last of it with a swig of hot sweet tea and started in on the kebab. It too was sensational. Onions, peppers of various colours, and pieces of meat all seared to perfection, slipped down my throat to join the rest of the meaty party. I’m not sure whether it was eating outdoors that made everything taste better, or being half starved, but whatever the reason it was absolutely delicious and hit the spot with enviable accuracy. 

Sitting there I let out a long yawn and leaned back to enjoy the sun on my face. I was a creature of the sun alright, even if I did love the comfort of the night. And of course the sunlight in the mountains was always spectacular. But the best part? It was all ours once more, and with the blessing of the white witch herself no less. I suppose I could have told Vela to really piss him off, but it suited my purposes to keep the little turd in the dark. I owed him for what he’d done, and sooner or later I’d take him apart like a bucking jigsaw. Piece, after piece, after piece. I chuckled under my breath; yes… yes, I was going to enjoy this. Very much indeed. I closed my eyes and flopped onto the grass under a large sycamore tree. A few minutes wouldn’t hurt...

“And here he is.”

“Yeah...” I rolled my shoulders and sighed. It was so warm and so peaceful here. There were no manticores trying to eat me nor rampaging maniacs trying to turn me into pony sashimi.

“Having a nice snooze, are we?” the mare’s voice asked. “Full tummy too?”

“Mmhmm...”

“You look very and relaxed down there.”

“I am...” 

“Good. That’s very good,” the voice said softly. I had a vague sense of somepony leaning close to my ear and half opened one eye as the foghorn blasted me full force, “WAKE UP!”

I sat up immediately, nearly dislodging my sunglasses and received a jolt of pain through my head for the trouble. Who the hell was that? I recognised the voice and… oh hell. “Zippy.”

“So you remember me. Con-grat-u-bucking-lations.” Zip Line stood before me in all her bristling sarcastic glory. “Where. The. Hell. Have. You. BEEN?!”

Goddesses above, had she been waiting for me or something? How the hell was she here?! My heart sank, but I suppose in one respect it gave me a push in the right direction and made me face up to my responsibilities. I’d left without a word and left her in the lurch with her superiors. She had every right to be furious with me, but as much as I wanted to be honest with Zip Line I wasn’t going to tell her everything. 

“I had some stuff I needed to take care of,” I answered guardedly. Carefully I rose to my hooves and finished off my tea; it was stone cold now, but still good. “I’m sorry, Zip, it was a personal matter.”

“A personal matter...” The pegasus mare’s eyes narrowed as she advanced on me, “Says the pony wearing sunglasses.” She motioned towards the pile of packs, “Enjoy your holiday did you?”

“Give me strength...” I readjusted the sunglasses and turned to face the irate creature, “I’m photosensitive, alright? Bugger me...”

“Photo- ?” Zip Line stared at me as though she was looking at something from another planet. I could almost hear the cogs turning as her mind rumbled into action too. She glanced from me to the direction of the portal office, to the packs, to the piled barding and back again, her eyes widening as she came to a realisation. My heart sank in cold anticipation. She knew. “You’ve been to the Darklands,” Zip stated coldly.

“I went to see a friend, yes,” I replied. “That’s all. You don’t need to start reading things into-”

“You took that foal there, didn’t you.”

I froze, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, buck off!” Zip’s eyes blazed with irritation, “Don’t give me that crappy old line, Captain Fairlight Loam, you know damned well what I’m talking about.”

“Look,” I began. “Zip, let’s just go back to the barracks, eh? We can talk about this later and-”

Zip Line lowered her head threateningly, her voice calm but carrying a gravitas that took me a little off guard. “You took that foal there,” she cut in, “didn’t you.” 

“I-”

“DIDN’T YOU?!”

Something snapped inside me. My temper flared white hot in an instant, and before I knew it I’d snatched Zip Line by the cloak and hauled her towards me. “YES!” I yelled, “Yes, I did! And you know what? I’d do it again too if I had to! You and your mates down at the barracks may enjoy murdering foals, Lieutenant Zip Line, but there’s no way in hell I was going to do something so… so utterly evil. When I swore an oath in Equestria it was to serve and protect the citizens of our home, and it didn’t matter what age, sex, or race they were. Even if the arse bucking gods ordered me themselves, I am not killing children. Is that clear enough for you? WELL, IS IT?” I searched her eyes before releasing my grip on her cloak in a snort of anger.

“You think I enjoy murdering children?” she asked pointedly, her voice dropping back down to near normal levels. “Is that really what you believe?”

“I don’t know what to believe, Zip.” I leaned down and hauled my packs onto my back, “Not any more. I’ve seen things in my life that I wish I hadn’t, and I had thought, hoped, that the eternal herd would have been a place I could put all of that crap behind me. But I guess I was wrong wasn’t I?”

There was a long pause before, “So, what now?” she asked. “Going to walk away again?”

“No.” I paused and glanced back at her, “I’m going to go back to work. If they’ll take me back.”

The pegasus mare shook her head with a look of exasperation crossing her lips. “They will.”

“They will?” I asked in surprise.

Zip Line nodded, “I covered for you.” She began to walk away, “I don’t know why I bothered to be honest, especially the way you just up sticks and left without even a word the way you did.”

“Yeah...” I gave her an apologetic look, which admittedly was lost behind the sunglasses. “Sorry. And… thanks.”

“Don’t mention it,” she replied. “Now, are you going to tell me what’s going on or is it some big mysterious wendigo secret society crap?”

I chuckled. There was something about Zip that always managed to lighten my mood whenever I was near her. As such the last thing I wanted to do was involve her in what was happening in my bucked up life. And yet as much I would have loved to have shared that skip full of woes with her, I wouldn’t have wanted to inflict that on my worst enemy. Well, maybe with the exception of Vela; that would come with a side order of steel applied liberally to the throat area. I decided on telling Zip the truth, just a little edited to avoid too much prying. 

“It was exactly what you guessed,” I admitted. “I took the foal to a friend of mine in the Darklands for adoption. I didn’t think I’d be away for as long as I was.”

“How long do you think you were away for?” Zip asked.

“I’m not sure really,” I replied honestly. “A week? Ten days-ish?”

Zip Line laughed, “Try two!”

“Two?!” I nickered in surprise before realisation dawned on me. “Ah, of course, the time difference.”

“Lesson number one, my dear captain,” Zip Line announced expansively. “Dimensional thaumaturgical fluctuation between the planes creates a distortion in temporal alignment leading to..?”

“A non-linear association in temporal perception and translative effects,” I quoted. “What the hell does ‘translative effects’ mean anyway?”

The pegasus shrugged, “Buggered if I know. All I can say for sure is that you can go on your jollies for a week and come back the next day.” She poked me in the chest, “As I think somepony knows quite well already wouldn’t you say?”

“It wasn’t a holiday.” I rolled my eyes but managed to catch the cheeky mares smirk. She was enjoying this far too much. “So, if I’ve only been away for a couple of days,” I pondered, “what did you tell them that would excuse my absence?”

“Oh, that was easy,” she replied with a grin. “I told them you and your wife went off for a dirty weekend together.”

“YOU WHAT?!” I nearly fell over in surprise.

“What’s wrong with that?” Zip Line asked, feigning innocence behind her large eyes. “I only did it to protect my dearest partner you know. Honestly, I thought… I thought that...”

“Oh, knock it off!” I gave her a shove and was rewarded with a bout of rip roaring laughter and a blast of air as the cheeky pegasus shot up into the air only to float back down a moment later. “You going back now then?” I asked.

Zip Line grinned, rolling through the air inches over my head with lazy strokes of her wings, “We are. You owe me a pint or two by my reckoning.” She frowned in thought and clucked her tongue, “Make that four. One for each day you were missing, an extra for upsetting me, and the last one because I deserve it. Personally I think you should be grateful I don’t charge you on Darklands time.”

“You’re an expensive date, Zippy,” I retorted.

“Cheapskate.”  

We ambled along enjoying the sunshine, or in my case the feel of it rather than the brightness. My eyes were still sore, but after a little experimentation were definitely better than they had been. I tossed my mane and sighed. It was good to be back. As beautiful as the alien beauty of the thestral afterlife was, it couldn’t hold a candle to the magnificence of the herd. This was home, and as soon as I’d signed back in to work and grovelled appropriately, that was where I was going. Hopefully to find Meadow and Sparrow waiting for me. Then, my grovelling skills would really need to come to the fore. 

A question popped into my mind, “Zippy?”

“Yeah?”

“How did you find me so quickly?” I asked.

“I hadn’t been sat there waiting for you, if that’s what you’re implying,” she replied testily. I ignored her barbed remark and let her continue, “If you must know, I was going shopping for some meat for Agrippa. The griffin merchants sell the real stuff and it’s better than the dry food and substitute gunk they sell in the market place. He had a urine problem that wouldn’t clear up, but the new diet has really done the trick.”

I scrubbed my forelock, trying to work out who she was talking about. “Did you say ‘Agrippa’?”  

Zip Line turned a perfect pirouette in the air, “He’s my dog.”

“And you called him Agrippa?”

She nodded, “I did. Why, what’s wrong with his name?”

“Nothing,” I replied quickly. “I just wondered why you’d named him after one of the old senators from the empire.”

Zip Line floated above me silently, her large eyes watching me with a lot more scrutiny than my question seemed to merit. “What?” I asked.

The pegasus mare narrowed her eyes, “You surprise me sometimes, you know that?”

“I do?”

“Yeah...” Zip Line tapped her chin in thought, “I thought you said you hadn’t been to school much?”

“Of course I went to school!” I snapped. “I might not have been the brightest student there, but I’m not stupid, Zip.”

She shrugged, “But you know about the senators from the empire?”

“Only a few,” I confessed, “and that’s mainly from reading books at my aunt’s house when she was foalsitting. Anyway, it was either that or books on medicines, and these had pictures of soldiers and battles that as a young colt I found really interesting. Some of what I read just… stuck.”

“Well, Mister ‘swallowed a history book’,” Zip jibed. “For your information I didn’t name him after a senator at all.”

“You didn’t?”

“Nope,” she smirked down at me. “I named him after his habit of grabbing legs.”

“Huh?” I stared back at my winged colleague in befuddlement, “His habit of… Oh!” I closed my eyes as what she was implying planted itself front and centre in my already over active imagination. “He gets ‘a-grip-a’ your leg. Very witty.”

“It’s not all he does,” she sighed. “He’s an absolute nightmare around visitors.”

“Remind me never to go round to your house!” I laughed. “Honestly Zippy, couldn’t you get a normal pet?”

“He is normal, you cheeky sod!” Zip Line retorted. “He’s just a bit frisky, that’s all.” She sighed loudly, “Oh, who am I kidding. He’s a right bloody pest! I got him from my gran when he was a puppy, and he’s always been like this.”

“Can’t you take him to somepony?” I asked.

“I have,” she replied. “Behavioural specialists, dog trainers, you name it. But you know, as much as a pain as he can be, he’s still a part of my family.”

“Well, we all have our faults,” I smiled broadly. “Even me.”

“And there was me thinking you were the very embodiment of the word ‘perfection’,” Zip Line joked. “Anyway, we’re here now.”

And we were too. I hadn’t realised how close to the barracks we were and my hooves had pretty much brought me here of their own accord. Now, with the white washed walls looming over me, my heart sank in my chest. Zip may have done her best to cover for me, but I had still walked off without leaving so much as a word to anypony here, let alone cleared it with my superiors first. A nudge from behind brought me round to my senses with a start. Zip Line’s grinning face said it all. She knew damned well I was nervous, and I had a right to be. What was really irritating was that she didn’t need to be so damned smug about it. I took a deep breath. Well, here we go…


*********************


The barracks was exactly the same as when I’d left for my unplanned jaunt to the Darklands, which was hardly surprising considering in ‘herd time’ I’d only been away for two days. I don’t know what I’d been expecting really, but I was damned glad of it. Guards ponies trotted here and there off on their various errands, staff pottered around cleaning and tidying, while over it all the sound of somepony shouting wafted over us with the kind of dulcet tones only a drill sergeant could muster. I shared a look with Zip and we picked up our pace, eager to reach the barrack rooms before-

“Zip Line! Lieutenant Zip Line!”

“Oh… damn it all!” Zip Line froze. “Captain, get yourself inside before he sees-”

“Hey! You there!”

Zip face-hoofed, “Too late...”

The white stallion in the burnished silver and gold armour trotted up to us with all the self assurance that this particularly confident officer made look all too easy. “Lieutenant?” he began. “I thought you were supposed to be on leave?”

“I was, Sir,” Zip Line said quickly, snapping off a surprisingly smart salute. “I met the captain here in town and decided to spend the rest of the day bringing him up to speed.”

Argo nodded vigorously, “Good! Good! Very diligent of you, Lieutenant.” He turned to me, “And did you, erm, ‘fix’ things with your good lady, Captain?”

I swallowed, “I… Yes, sir. I believe so.”

“Excellent!” Argo patted me firmly on the shoulder, “All’s well that ends well, eh?” That was when I noticed the clip board being carried by his assistant. “Have you met my adjutant, Index, Captain?”

“No, Sir.” I leaned forward and shook the newcomers extended hoof, “Captain Fairlight. A pleasure.”

“Fairlight?” The bespectacled clerk stared down at the chart floating in the glow of his magic. “I’ve no Captain Fairlight on the roll.”

Argo clucked his tongue, “Try under ‘Corn Bread’.”

“Corn Bread… Corn Bread… Ah! Here it is.” Index scratched his mane, nodding to himself, “Are you one and the same?”

“I think we can drop the pretence now, Argo,” I opined. “Everypony in the barracks knows who I am, and honestly I can’t bloody well stand being called ‘Corn Bread’ anyway.” I raised an eyebrow in Zip Line’s direction, “Or ‘Corny’ for that matter.”

“Fair enough.” Argo motioned to his assistant, “Make the necessary changes if you would please, Corporal.

“Yes, sir.”

Argo turned back to face us, “Now that that’s out of the way, you can both help me with a problem I need sorting out.”

“We can?” I exchanged glances with Zip who shrugged helplessly. Apparently she didn’t know what it was about either. 

“I want you and the Lieutenant to recover a soul from the Ponyville General Hospital,” Argo explained. He took the clipboard from Index and read it, nodding to himself several times before passing it back. “It’s a simple collection job: In and out, no fuss. Can you be ready by, say, eighteen hundred?”

“But that’s only half an hour from now!” Zip Line blurted suddenly. “I’m supposed to be on leave until-”

“-But you’re at work now, Lieutenant,” Argo replied levelly. “Besides, I’ve been short hoofed the last couple of days, and I know you wouldn’t mind providing cover for your comrades. Would you?”

There was what you could conservatively call a ‘pregnant pause’ before Zip Line answered simply, “No, Sir.”

“Good girl.” Argo turned to me and raised an eyebrow, “That’s non regulation equipment, Captain.”

“I know, Sir,” I replied smartly. “I’ll be taking it home when I’m off duty next.”

“Which won’t be for a while yet I’m afraid.” The white stallion glanced at his watch, “You now have twenty eight minutes until your jump. I wouldn’t hang around if I were you.”

“No, Sir!” Both of us saluted smartly and hurried away from the courtyard to the relative sanctuary of the changing rooms.

Sunlight swapped placed for brightly painted plaster walls. Despite the usually unimaginative layout of such buildings, a variety of paintings and banners hung here and there with typical military precision. Even the pot plants were perfectly maintained. Generations of officers, heroes of old, and innumerable battle scenes reminded the viewer of past acts of valour or events that in reality probably bore little if any resemblance to what the artist had portrayed. Mind you, who would want to be reminded of crushing defeats or the sight of a battlefield covered in the dead and dying? Mind you, considering everything I knew about the herd it was quite likely the subjects of some of the paintings were still around too. Maybe even here! My inner fan-colt stirred at the possibility of meeting some of the more famous ones I’d read about in Aunt Pewter’s history books during my many interminably boring stays with her. On the subject of mares, somepony had told me once that the equestrian military was one of the few in the world that had what he had called ‘female influence’. I’m not sure I understood that comment in exactly the same context as was intended though. After all, the equestrian army, royal guard, the watch, and every other organisation across the land had always been a mix of mares and stallions. If, as I suspected, there was some form of prejudice being referred to, it would have been between the three tribes: the pegasi, the unicorns, and the earth ponies. Now that was the real issue in equestrian society, and it always had been. A thousand years and more of ‘getting along but not being happy about it’ had eventually led us to the modern age where such considerations were considered unimportant. By most anyway. Pegasi still thought they were superior to everypony else, unicorns thought anypony who wasn’t a unicorn was dumb as a bag of hammers, and earth ponies… well, earth ponies just got on with it like they always had done. What the hell the gods had been playing at my making three distinct tribes was beyond me. It was obviously going to cause conflict right from the off, and by Celestia it had too. And speaking of Celestia, where had she been when the three tribes had been trying to annihilate one another? History says she came along later, although exactly when is debatable. And in any case, what had she actually managed to achieve when she did? If you can believe the old stories, the three tribes had come together more out of desperation than anything else and had united against the wendigo. It was after that that they then went on to create the Equestria we know today, and without any alicorn pseudo-goddess help. This part of the story sounded distinctly plausible, although exactly how it had all ended was definitely in question. Celestia hadn’t been around to commit mass murder of course, otherwise I probably wouldn’t be here now, so some sort of accord must have been reached. What I did know about Celestia was that she had been involved in the conflict with the changelings in what some called the ‘War of Tears’ or the ‘Existence War’; names which meant little to me. Then along comes Sombra, and war once again. Gods, was there a time when we weren’t at war? The Legion, Yak-Yakistan, the Llamalian Empire… the list goes on. 

“For a race of prey animals we sure love killing...”

“Huh?” Zip glanced over her shoulder at me, “What are wittering on about now?” She flung her forelegs up in exasperation. “Goddesses buck me sideways, as if things weren’t bad enough, now my partner’s started talking to himself!”

I clucked my tongue, rolling my eyes at her antics. I decided to change the subject before my mental state became questioned any further. “Any idea what this mission is?” I asked.

“How the hell should I know?” The black and white mare snorted angrily, flinging her locker door open and roughly shoved her packs inside, “I’m supposed to be on leave until tomorrow for bucks sake! But no, I had to bump into the ‘bad luck boy’ in town and then it’s ‘back to work Zippy’! Lucky old me, eh? DAMN IT!” She slammed the locker shut with a deafening clang.

“It was your choice to come back here with me,” I replied levelly, “so don’t go blaming me!”

“I know that! Gods!” Zip snapped. She roughly grabbed her equipment, cloak and dagger, nearly whacking me in the face with the damned thing as she did so. “Come on, let’s get to…” She paused, staring at my pile of equipment on the floor as I tried to fit it all into my locker. “What. The. Hell. Is. THAT?!”

“What?” I followed her gaze to the scabbard containing the scythe, “Oh, that? It’s for the garden. I picked it up at a market in the Darklands.”

“A scythe?!” Zip Line stared at me with wide eyes, “You bought a scythe?”

I sighed, pulling on my cloak. “Yes, I bought a scythe.”

“Pfff!” Zip covered her mouth with a hoof, “You do know we invented lawn mowers, right?”

“Yes...” I rolled my eyes and tried to ignore the jibe. “I know we invented lawn mowers.”

Zip tapped her chin, “Sooo…”

“What?”

“Do you still use oil lamps?”

I shoved the locker door closed, avoiding eye contact. “I’m not answering that, Zip Line. We’ve got a-”

“You do! Oh my goddesses, you still use oil lamps!” Zip Line burst out laughing, her earlier foul mood evaporating in an instant. “Hang on, I think I’ve got a wax tablet and abacus you can borrow, granddad. Whoops! Sorry, I forgot, they’re in… wait for it… a museum!”

“I have magic lamps too, thank you very much,” I retorted sharply. I was starting to find Zip’s comments more than a little irritating at this point. “I just happen to like the light oil lamps give off.”

“And the smell!” she snorted merrily.

“And the smell,” I agreed. “I happen to like it.”

“Damn. And I thought I was old!” Zip Line huffed and returned to clipping on her cloak. “You’re not seriously going to use that thing, are you? You could chop your leg off.”

“It’s going over the fireplace,” I said brushing her remark aside. “It’ll look very nice in the cottage. Very rustic.”

“Very rust-y, more like.” Zip’s cheeky grin brought a secret smile to my face. For such a highly strung creature she was fun to be around and had a way of effortlessly lightening the mood. As for myself, I was just relieved to get back to work and find things hadn’t changed. Part of me wished I’d gone home first of course, but the cowardly part of me wanted to avoid it for as long as possible. That said, I didn’t even know if Meadow had come back from her parents house yet. Pop had gone, so there was no help there, and it wasn’t like I could drop everything and fly off to the other side of the eternal herd to call in on them, especially not after being missing for two days already. I don’t know what the punishment for desertion was here, but I didn’t fancy finding out the hard way. I decided to take my mind off it all by busying myself with the task at hoof. And so, dutifully armoured up, geared up, and bright eyed if not necessarily bushy tailed, we ended up in the briefing room. As usual the rest were already out on missions and our briefing was, as Argo had said, as simple as they came. We walked in, were given a mission pack, and then promptly left to sort ourselves out. Being the new starter it didn’t surprise me particularly, but it still rankled my pride.

“So who’s our boy today then?” I asked.

Zip Line dragged up a bench seat next to mine and pulled out the paperwork, “Chap called Melted Cheese would you believe,” she read. “Won’t leave the hospital ward apparently.”

“Gods help us...” I face hoofed in dismay. “Melted Cheese? Who names these ponies?”

“Parents who like melted cheese?” Zip Line offered.

“Yeah, but that’s not even a real thing is it?” I reasoned. “I mean it’s like calling your child Fart Cloud, Skid Mark, or something stupid like that.”

“Melted cheese is a real thing,” Zip Line replied, “Just not a very… you know, sensible thing to call your child.”

“Like Colander, Wooden Spoon or Pepper Pot?” I enquired.

Zip shrugged, “I knew a mare called Spatula once.”

“I can imagine,” I sighed. “Back when they had that bloody awful trend for naming foals after kitchen utensils wasn’t it?”

“Goddesses, I know!” Zip shook her head, “We had some poor soul called Baking Tray. Poor kid was tortured during home economics. Still, I thought always Colander was quite cute a name.” She stretched her wings out and moaned under her breath, “Anyway, be careful with those ‘Spoon’ references.”

“Why’s that?” I asked.

“The Major’s mother was called Wooden Spoon.”

“Oh, for f-”

Zip Line clucked her tongue and waved a chastising forehoof at me, “Now, now, language.”   

She passed me the briefing pack. The job looked perfectly straight forwards like Argo had said. Melted Cheese was a late middle aged stallion who had died from complications following what should have been a routine operation. Poor sod, he’d had a rare but massive allergic reaction to the anaesthetic and never came round. Accountant by trade, he’d left a marefriend and one son behind. Under normal circumstances he should have passed over after his heart stopped, but something had anchored him there in the hospital. I could probably guess what I was, but we’d have to get there and find out for sure.

“All set?” Zip asked.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I nodded. “Let’s go.” 

The sooner we got this over with the faster I could get home and try to patch things up with Meadow. If she was home of course. I hoped she was. I hated going back to an empty house, and for that matter, an empty bed. As much as I liked my own company I missed the understanding and companionship of my beloved wife. And Sparrow of course. A pest she may be at the best of times, but the laughter and joy she had brought us had been immeasurable. So much so that it frightened me to think of her growing up, leaving home, and going her own way in life. But such is the cycle of the world. Well, the herd anyway. Gods, it was hard to stop thinking in terms of being dead. The herd was so much like Equestria that it was easy to forget that we weren’t alive any more. In many respects it was like we’d simply finished one story to begin another. Only this time, it was the last book. A very big book, true, but there was no afterlife after this one. A shiver ran through me; I most certainly did not fancy the idea of reincarnation one little bit! 

I was still lost in my thoughts when we arrived in the portal room and I received a bop on the head from Zip Line.

“Hoy! Stop daydreaming!”

I gave myself a shake and gave her an apologetic look, “Sorry. Lack of sleep I guess.”

“Well you can get some sleep after we get this job sorted, okay?” Zip Line sighed, “Look, I don’t need you dropping off over there, right?”

“Yes ma’am,” I grinned.

“Cheeky sod.”

Zip Line trotted over to one of the lab coated unicorns and hoofed over our pass. Typically the mare in the white coat seemed far more interested in the machinery than the ponies in front of her, but this lot had always been a breed apart. They lived in their own world of numbers, formulae and weird flashing things that went right over my head. So when she actually spoke, it took me completely by surprise. 

“Zippy?” The unicorn peered over her spectacles at my partner, “What are you doing here? Weren’t you supposed to be on leave?”

“‘Supposed to be’, being the operative words, Bell,” Zip Line replied bitterly. “I was shopping for pet food in town when I bumped into his lordship here. I walked back with him and Argo nabbed me.”

So much for ‘us’ then, I thought sarcastically.

“Should have gone straight home,” Bell cast a glance in my direction, “He’s the new guy, right?”

“Yeah.” My partner rolled her eyes, obviously more than happy to talk about me when I was in the same room. Gods, how I hated that! “Hey,” Zip Line continued, “where is everypony anyway? Why are we being pulled in on a routine job at the last minute?”

“No spare bods,” Bell shrugged in a matter-of-fact tone. “That job over at the palace has got everypony running around like a kicked over ant-hill. What’s worse is there’s some sort of bug in the system.”

“Bug?” Zip asked cocking her head on one side. “What, like some sort of matrix glitch?”

“Apparently.” Bell indicated the console behind her, “Lindy’s team got sent to the Llamalian palace yesterday when they were supposed to go to Las Pegasus. Butterscotch and her team were scheduled to go on a recovery in Yak Yakistan and ended up in the Marshal’s office when she was in the middle of a meeting with the board.”

Zip Line’s hoof flew to her mouth. “What, they just popped up in there?!”

Bell shrugged again, “Several feet in the air over the coffee table apparently.” She raised an eyebrow, “We heard the crash from here.”

“Oh, my goddesses!”

“You said it,” Bell said putting our chitty into the large blinking machine. “Apparently it was an expensive tea service too. The Marshal went on the rampage and kept screaming at the director something about ‘spoiled cakes’?” 

“What did you do?” Zip asked.

“Me?” Bell sniffed, “I decided to make myself scarce. I locked myself in the loo and said I had the runs.”

“Bloody hell...” Zip lifted her head and eyed the portal warily., “Did they find out what the problem was?”

“Nope.” Bell shrugged, “You should be alright though, we ran a diagnostic this morning and so far so good.”

“Hang on,” I chipped in. “What do you mean, ‘should be’? I don’t fancy materialising in some bloody Ursan’s cave or a dragon’s den or something because your stupid machine’s knackered!”

“My ‘machine’ as you so politely put it, is not stupid!” Bell’s mane bristled as she locked eyes with me. “This is a delicate precision instrument designed around quantum thaumaturgical theorum and excited particle physics.”

The whispered words were out of my mouth before I could apply the verbal brakes, “It’s not the only one that’s excitable...” 

“What was that?!”

“I said we needed to get going,” I answered quickly. “Zippy? You all set?”

The mare raised an eyebrow and shot me a look which threatened bloody retribution if I said another word, “Ready here. Your ‘lordship’.”

“Don’t worry,” Bell shouted over to us as the portal began to coalesce, “I’m sure it’s perfectly safe. I’ll do my best to make sure you don’t materialise inside a suitcase.”

“EH?!” I stumbled forward, turning to look back over my shoulder. “You-” I didn’t get a chance to finish my sentence as a quick shove from Zip Line pitched me into the silver light, and the horrible feeling of having your insides scooped out and the dumped back inside again, reasserted itself once more. A heartbeat later I landed on the hard stone flagstones of… somewhere.

“Zippy?” I breathed, “Am I… alright?”

“You’re upside down, you idiot!” Zip Line reached down and grabbed my hoof, pulling me upright. “Gods, are you sure you’re a wendigo?”

“Last time I looked,” I grumbled. 

I brushed the dust off my coat, cloak and armour. The least I could do was attempt to look at least reasonably presentable. Judging by our surroundings, ‘smart’ was definitely the order of the day too. Whoever ran this place sure kept a tight ship by the looks of things, and everything from the neatly cut lawns and elegant gardens to the fountain and the manicured trees and bushes, was absolutely pristine. On the driveway sat an ambulance, painted white with a large red cross on the side. The driver who was wearing a matching white tunic looked to have just dropped off his patient and was sat on the rear step with the doors open smoking a pipe. I wish I’d been able to join him for one; I hadn’t had a smoke since I’d been in the mountains. By the gods, what an experience that had been. Gods Hooves? More like the Arse of Tartarus. So Maroc lived beyond the mountains did he? There had to be an easier way to get there, and what with that roc flying around and dragons I hoped the girls would be alright finding their way there.

“Coming?” Zip Line held the door open for me and I gave myself a shake, following her in to the lobby.

Inside was a tilers nightmare. Acres of white tiles covered everything in sight, making the white coated staff nearly invisible against the brilliant background. At least the reception desk was wood. The mare sitting behind it looked up as the doors shut behind us and shrugged it off as a trick of the wind. Being invisible to other ponies was a decidedly strange experience, and one that promised all sorts of possibilities if one had the mind for it. The younger Fairlight would have been tempted by all sorts of youthful wickedness, wickedness including shower rooms no doubt, but nowadays my interest in practical jokes and leering at mares were a thing of the past. Mostly. Besides, when you had the perfect wife at home who loved you no matter what idiotic stunts you pulled, what was the need to eye up other mares? That didn’t mean I didn’t still appreciate their form of course, that was only natural for a stallion, but looking and touching were two very different things. Unfortunately my libido had a mind of its own and had got me into trouble more than once over the years. One time had been with Meadow at her work when she’d been working in Manehattan General Hospital, a place not dissimilar to this one in some respects, but at least double the size. There, with her in her nurses uniform and me in my watch uniform, we found a whole new use for the cleaners store room. Ah, happy memories! This place though was the kind of location where happy memories were rare, if not non-existent. It might have looked like a hospital, what with the doctors and nurses going about their business, but there was a strange atmosphere here, and one which had the hairs on my back standing to attention. And then there was the smell. Don’t get me wrong, it was as clean as a whistle, cleaner even, but it just felt… ‘wrong’ somehow. Rather than the hustle and bustle of Manehattan General, by comparison this hospital was near silent. Outside of the lobby the corridors were all carpeted. The stairs were carpeted too. There were pot plants and bouquets, all fresh, dotted throughout the hospital in abundance. Tending to them, watering and replacing the fading ones, must have been a full time job in itself. It was a peculiar place alright, and with a correspondingly peculiar atmosphere. Everypony here was quiet and spoke in hushed tones. In some respects it was more like a monastery than a hospital, with the doctors and nurses hurrying along the carpeted hallways in whispers whilst patients and loved ones talked in equally hushed tones. And of the families and friends of the patients here, there were a lot. I sidestepped to avoid one family walking down the stairs, the husband with one foreleg around wife whilst their two children walked on ahead, both of them bearing the same expression of confusion and emptiness. I’d heard of these places, but never had cause to go into one. I prayed, I never would again.

“Fairlight? He’s in here.”

I focussed on the note stuck over the glass panel in the door:

Please do not enter. 

If you need to gain entry, please ask the reception staff or Doctor Fallon.

There was no need, the door was unlocked, and following Zip Line’s lead I slipped inside, closing it behind us. The staff didn’t bat an eyelid, but then they never did, did they? But gods, what was this feeling? A shiver ran down my spine making my legs twitch. It wasn’t cold, the room was quite warm really, but there was a tension in the air that felt like something monumental was about to happen. Or perhaps… already had. The well appointed private room itself was in near darkness, the blinds having been closed to stop anypony wanting to see in from the rear garden. Not that anypony would want to. This place, this room, had been the last view the still form under the bed sheets had seen of this world. Such as it was. Like the rest of the hospital, the heavy feeling of utter emptiness was all pervasive. I hated it. Every part of my being screamed at me to get out of there, to leave this place before I became part of it, before it began to drain my life away as it had with so many others.

“He’s not here.” Zip Line lay her hoof on my shoulder, “Hey, are you okay?”

“Huh?” I started in surprise at her touch, “Um… yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.”

“You sure? You look a little peaky.”

I swallowed, but my throat was so dry I nearly gagged. “Zip, look, can we just find him and get out of here please?” I tried to take a ragged breath and regain my composure, “Sorry, it’s just… you know.”

“I do,” she nodded, smiling at me gently. “It’s just the way it is with these places. But they do a good job here. A job that needs doing, even if we don’t want to admit it.” She smiled faintly, “I thought about working in one of these myself once, but I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t just… watch somepony… fade away.” Zip gave herself a shake, her old self re-emerging like the sun from behind a cloud. “Right then, where the hell’s our Melted Cheese gotten to then?” 

I looked around the room, but of our missing pony there was no sign at all. “Have you got your soul compass thingy with you?”

“Never leave the afterlife without it.” The black and white mare reached into her pack and pulled the familiar object out. “Make with the magic mister unicorn.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

Blue magical light enveloped the compass and floated it out of Zip’s grasp to hover in the air between us. The small dial span for a moment before coming to halt, pointing confidently out of the door and off down the corridor in the opposite direction. With no other option we obediently followed its lead. Staff walked past us as easily as water passes by a ship’s hull as it cuts through the waves. Occasionally one of them would look back with a look a puzzlement on their face, baffled by why they had suddenly swerved to avoid us. Then, as I had come to expect, they would merely shrug it off as ‘one of those things’ and continue on with their day without giving it a second thought. I wonder how many times that had happened to me throughout my life? I had certainly had many instances of ‘deja vu’, whereby I would feel as though I had been somewhere before in similar circumstances, but was that the same thing? A strange feeling, a sensation of somepony being there and turning around only to see nothing at all? I don’t know. To Zip Line, this was a perfectly every day occurrence, but to me it still felt more than a little strange. Meanwhile the black and white pegasus walked ahead of me, following our compass bearing and occasionally sticking her head into one of the many private rooms. 

“I don’t understand,” Zip said under her breath. “The compass says he’s here but-”

Right on cue a peel of laughter rolled out from the last room in the corridor. Typical! Well, at least we’d found him and would be on our way back again soon. Goddesses, I wanted to go home so much! A hot shower… no, a bath. Yes! A hot bath, some hot food, and a good nights sleep in a bed instead of that bloody black sand would be just what I needed. As for our boy Melted Cheese, he’d be on his way to the herd if I had to put a hoof up his arse to do it. 

I spotted him straight away. For once he looked exactly like he did in the briefing photograph too. He was a bright yellow coated fellow with soft topaz eyes; a unicorn too. He was sat on the end of the bed playing some sort of board game I wasn’t familiar with. It seemed to be made up of large squares and lines with counters of red and blue. Cheese was blue it seemed, and judging by the number of red counters beside him, he was doing well.

“Got you!”

Okay, make that ‘winning’. 

“Better luck next time my dear fellow. Fancy another round?” Cheese waggled his eyebrows at the stallion sat in the chair beside him.

The black earth stallion with the white muzzle and socks didn’t look so sure. “I don’t know, Cheese, I can’t get my head round the rules.”

“Oh, don’t be so defeatist!” Cheese joked, “Navakankari is a bit hard to understand when you start out, but I assure you, my friend, it is well worth it in the end.”

“If you say so.” The earth pony took a deep breath and rolled his shoulders. “What about our guests?” He jerked a hoof in our direction, “Can’t you ask one of them to take a turn and let me watch?”

Zip Line was staring at the two males, “How…?” She gave herself a shake and lifted a hoof, “You can see us? Both of you?”

“What, did you think you were invisible or something?” Cheese asked a little sarcastically. “You’re standing right there in front of us.”

“You have to admit,” the black and white stallion added, “wearing armour in hospital is a little unorthodox to say the least. Royal guard, right?”

“Um...” Zip blinked and quickly took out our briefing instructions. “Fairlight,” she whispered, “There’s only supposed to be one to collect! Why are there two?” The puzzled mare looked up from her paperwork. “Fairlight? What’s wrong? Why are you-”

I stepped forward, cutting her off. My eyes were on the stallion sat in the chair. He was so… thin. 

“Fairlight?” Zip Line touched my shoulder but I ignored her. All my attention was on the earth pony staring back at me with that familiar look of vague disinterest I had always associated with him. And hated.

I nearly choked on the word. “Dad?”

“Come to visit, have you?” the stallion huffed noisily. “Better late than never I suppose.” He looked me up and down, his eyes lingering on the helmet crest. “I see you made the guard then, so that’s good news at least. Softer than the watch too I bet.”

“Dad...”

Cheese glanced at his friend and then back to me, “Are you two related? Father and son?” His eyes went wide in surprise, “Well slap me senseless!”

“Maybe later...” Zip muttered. She checked her document case again and turned to me, “Fairlight, is he really your father?”

“Lamplight,” I breathed. “Lamplight Loam.”

“Always hated the surname,” my father nodded to Zip. “Never used it myself. Neither did he either from all accounts.”

“Dad...” I gave myself a shake, making my father wince at the sound of the clattering armour. “What… What are you doing here? How can you see me? I don’t-”

“You never were the brightest, were you, Fairlight?” Lamplight shook his head with that disappointed expression I knew all too well from my youth. “You were a watchstallion, weren’t you? Can’t you work it out for yourself?” He sighed loudly and face-hoofed, “In answer to your first question, the answer is lying in the bed behind me. As for the second, since I’ve never been in a situation like this before, I suspect you know more about it than I do. So, ‘Captain’, captain your way to an answer using the evidence in front of your muzzle before asking stupid questions.”

My father had a way of getting under my skin that was second to none, and this time was no different from all the others. Part of me wanted to scream at him, whilst another wanted to smack him square in the mouth. Thankfully the part that won was the calm part that had noticed the lump under the bed sheets, the tubes running up to bags of fluid that slowly dripped… dripped… dripped. I closed my eyes and tried to push the ice cold feeling of dread away from the forefront of my consciousness and concentrated on breathing as normally as I could. 

“That’s you in the bed, isn’t it,” I said quietly.

“An excellent deduction,” father announced in his typically monotone voice. “I can see how you made captain with those sterling investigative powers.”

That damned sarcastic tone. That bored sounding voice and the infuriatingly dismissive attitude. It was all there. All of it! “And I did it on my own,” I said coolly, “without any help from my absent father.”

“Did you need help?” Lamplight asked testily.

“I didn’t exactly have the opportunity to ask!” A flush of hot anger sizzled through me from muzzle to tail. “You sodded off and left mum and I when we needed you the most!”

My father snorted, “And yet somehow you still managed to make it to captain all the same. Tell me, Fairlight, what help do you think I could have given you that couldn’t be given at the academy, hmm?”

“That’s not the point, Dad, and you know it,” I answered quickly. “You’re trying to twist what I’m saying.”

Father sneered at me coldly, “In your imagination, perhaps.”

“Oh, buck off!” I snapped. “Gods, you’re always like this! Can’t you for once in your life stop acting like a self-righteous prick and be straight with me? For once, Dad, please.”

He rolled his eyes and clucked his tongue noisily, “Don’t plead, Fairlight, it’s embarrassing. Act like a stallion and pull yourself together, will you?”  

“Um…” Zip Line tried to interject. “Would you two excuse me for a minute? I need to have Cheese on his way.”

“On my way?” Cheese asked curiously. “Why, whatever do you mean?”

“She means they’ve come to take you to the eternal herd.” My father lay a hoof on his friend’s shoulder. “You should go with them now, it’s better than hanging around this shit-hole.”

“Eternal herd?” Cheese frowned, apparently confused by the notion. “Are you saying I’m… I’m dead?”

“It’s why your body’s in another room, yes.” And then Lamplight did something I don’t remember him ever doing for me in all my years growing up with him. He smiled. “Come on old stallion, I’ll be along shortly, and then we can play another round of this game with the bloody silly name.”

“I… I don’t know.” The yellow stallion scrubbed his mane furiously, “I just came in for a small op’. They said I’d be going home the next day! What am I going to do? All my stuff’s there, my memories… who I am...”

“In the herd you start again.” Zip’s calm voice pulled the worried fellow’s attention fully. “You can have the home you always dreamed of in a world where the grass is lush, the sky as blue as the most perfect summer sky, and the trees hang low with every kind of delicious fruit.” She smiled gently, “It’s home, Cheese. For all of us.”

“Trust me, you don’t want to stay here,” Lamplight added. “Personally I can’t wait to be away. Now come on,” he patted his friend on the shoulder, “you get off and get the tea on. I’ll be there in two shakes.”    

“Navakankari?” Cheese asked hopefully.

“Do we have to?” Lamplight shook his head, “Why can’t we play something simpler to start with? All these exotic games are giving me a headache.”

Cheese grinned, “Of course. But you know I’ll still win.”

“Oh, bugger off!” Lamplight chuckled. “Go on, away with you! Get the bloody tea on, and one sugar this time.”

Zip turned to me and whispered in my ear, “I’ll leave you two alone for a bit. You’ve got your own return tag, so take all the time you need.”

I barely noticed the silver light of the portal, nor the two ponies as they disappeared into the shimmering pool of magic. Like Cheese, I was lost in my own world of confusion, memory, and the overwhelming sense of not knowing what to do. Cheese hadn’t realised he was dead, common enough for those who died in unexpected circumstances I suppose, but why was my father here? And how was it he knew who I was?

“You can take that stupid lid off your head now,” father stated. His old self reasserted itself just the way it always had. “You look ridiculous.”

I pulled the magically infused helmet from my head, and with it the magic that made me as white as snow. Back came the old Fairlight, complete with grey coat, black and white mane, and my father’s eyes. “I’m surprised you knew it was me,” I said plainly. “We haven’t seen each other since I left for the academy.”

“No. No, we haven’t.” My father’s sardonic grin flashed across his face before the more recognisably deadpan expression reasserted itself. He always look at me this way; as if I was an annoyance to him, or worse… a disappointment.

“Dad...” I took a breath, “Why are you here? Are you…?”

“Dying?” He snorted ironically, “The body in the bed, the tubes, bags and machinery not enough of a clue for you?” In a flash he pulled back the covers and I nearly yelled in surprise. “Look at me!” he shouted suddenly. “Look at that… that thing in there!”

I couldn’t look away, despite how much I wanted to. My father, dad, was almost unrecognisable. He  was… he was so thin, so horribly thin. His emaciated body was more akin to a thestral than a pony. Every bone was visible from his neck to his ribs, his skin hanging like sheets of wet pastry where once muscle and sinew had filled out this faded shadow of a stallion.

“What happened to you?” I breathed.

“Cancer,” dad said dismissively, “Came out of the blue one day. Before I knew it, I was in here.” He sniffed bitterly, “Not that I actually knew much about it. I was so bloody delirious I could have been on the moon for all I knew of what was going on.”

“I didn’t know...”

“Of course you didn’t,” dad replied. Mercifully he replaced the bed covers, but the image of my father’s emaciated body, the way his chest rose and fell with such agonising slowness, and the constant drip, drip, drip of the fluid in the bags… I would never forget that for as long as I… yeah. Right. “I could say the same,” he continued, “but where would that get us?” 

I hung my head, “Nowhere.”

“Nowhere,” dad echoed. “Now then, are you going to get me out of this shit-hole or what?”

“Get you out of here?” I looked up in surprise.

Dad sighed, “I presume you do work for the herd, yes?” He pointed to the armour, “Your friend took Cheese and so I naturally assumed you could pick me up while you were at it. Or do you have to make a separate trip?”

“Dad...” I blinked, “You’re not dead.”

“Near enough!” He jerked a hoof towards the body, “For Luna’s sake, Fairlight, look at the state of me. I don’t deserve to fade away like this! Nopony does. This isn’t living, it’s dying by inches. Inches!” He locked eyes with me and I felt my blood run cold. “I want to die, Fairlight. I want to die now. Do you understand?”

“Dad, I can’t do anything,” I whispered.

“Ha! You mean you won’t.” Lamplight slumped back in his chair, “You always were spineless.”

My mane bristled. “How can you say that?!” I snapped back at him. “I worked my hooves to the bone to get into the academy and I made it to captain with my own dedication, sweat and blood.”

“And look where that got you,” my father observed sarcastically. “You turned on your own people, became a cold hearted assassin and ended up with your soul tainted by the spirit of a monster from ancient history.” He levelled a hoof at me, “You lost your wife and daughter because of your impulsiveness, and your own idiotic selfish stupidity!”

My hooves twitched in a rising fury as the icy ball of anger within me stirred, “I did everything I could to save my family, Dad,” I hissed. “Do you honestly think I wanted things to work out the way they did? Do you?” Dad shook his head as I continued, “Yes… yes, you do, don’t you? Celestia’s arse, dad, it’s no wonder you and mum broke up.”

“You leave her out of this!” he snapped suddenly. “Your mother had nothing to do with your failings, Fairlight. Nothing at all! Everything you did was because of your own bad decisions and lack of foresight.”

“Gods...” I shook my head in dismay, “Here I am, standing before you after all these years, and you don’t give a bucking damn do you? You never gave a toss about me when I was growing up, and it hasn’t even registered with you that I’m dead, has it? Or… or maybe it has. You just don’t give a shit, do you?”

“What do you expect me to say, Fairlight?” my father replied levelly. “Sorry you’re dead, Son? Hope you didn’t suffer too much?” He nickered quietly, “What good would that do? It’s a bit late for a ‘get well soon’ card.”

“It might demonstrate that you cared,” I offered ignoring the sarcasm. “It might show that I meant at least something to you.”

“Oh… shut up, Fairlight.” Lamplight sank back into the chair and looked away. “If you’re not going to collect my soul, then just… just piss off would you?”

I sat down on my haunches and stared at my father. He looked as young as I remembered him: fit, strong, and as uncaring as the northern wastes. “Dad?”

“What?” he snapped.

I took a breath, “Why did you and mum break up?”

Lamplight sighed, “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Wouldn’t I?” 

“No!” My father’s eyes flicked towards me and then away once more. “We… We grew apart, that was all.”

“But you-”

“There’s no ‘buts’ about it, Fairlight,” my father cut in. “Unlike your world, there’s no mystery, no magical forces at work, or gods, or monsters, or anything from another bloody dimension trying buck things up for everypony just because they can.” He huffed noisily, “Your mother and I… we just… stopped loving each other.” Dad closed his eyes, “That was all. We just… stopped.”

“And you left as soon as I was able to support myself.” I didn’t want to believe it, but here it was as clear as day. “Mum never told me.”

“No, she wouldn’t have,” Lamplight said quietly. “Your mother and I didn’t want to hurt you, Fairlight. We already knew, the two of us, when you were very small that it was over between us. We were just biding our time until we were satisfied you didn’t need our support any more. And when that day came, I packed my bags and left.”

“And never looked back, eh?” I added.

Dad clucked his tongue, “Why would I? I sent money home each month until you graduated from the academy, and every year I would send a cheque to your mother towards the upkeep of her home. Even though I never heard anything from her, the cheques always got cashed. Always.”

I closed my eyes. “I didn’t know...”

“And why would you need to?” dad asked. “That was between your mother and I.”

“But you never turned up at the funeral!” I said suddenly. Memories of that awful day in the rain surged back from the pit of my soul. The pain, the unending emptiness and hopelessness of my world falling in on itself as I watched my mother being lowered into a hole in the ground. “Why, Dad? Why didn’t you come?”

“Because...” My father reached up and rubbed his eyes. “Because she didn’t want me there.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “What are talking about?” I asked. “Of course she-”

“SHE DIDN’T WANT ME THERE!” Lamplight span in his chair and roared at me, taking me completely off guard. “Don’t you get it, boy? Your mother wrote to me and said she was dying and didn’t want me at the funeral! How the hell do you think that made me feel? I knew our marriage was over, I knew I could never relight the fire that had once blazed so bright it illuminated all the heavens, but to have it there in front of me in black and white… I knew she didn’t love me any more, but to tell me she didn’t want me there was too much to bear. Far too much. Goddesses help me, Fairlight, she… I…” He grimaced as the memories gripped him in their merciless embrace, “I couldn’t even say goodbye! I had to sneak into the cemetery when everypony had gone like a damned thief in the night and beg her to forgive me. Forgive me! That damned mare broke me, Fairlight. She broke me as easily as breaking an egg, and she didn’t give a damn about it either.”

Silence fell in the room like a shroud of death. All that could be heard was the bleeping of the machines and the beating of my heart. I didn’t know what to say. What could I say? I’d always believed mum had loved dad unconditionally and that she’d died of a broken heart when he’d abandoned us both. But this? This didn’t make any sense! I had to know more. 

“Dad? Why didn’t you keep in touch with me?” I asked. “When mum passed away, you could have.”

“You wouldn’t have wanted me to.” The old stallion shook his head sadly, “I wasn’t much of a father when you were growing up. And inside… I don’t think I ever should have been one. I only really ever thought about what I wanted in life, and everything else was… secondary to that. I saw you as an anchor, tying me to a place where I was neither welcome nor happy. And that bred something inside me that should never have been there: resentment, resentment so far down inside my heart it slowly ate away at me, day after day after day.” He leaned back and sighed softly, “I only wish it could have been different, Son. As Celestia is my witness, I do. But I am who I am, as your mother was who she was, and you are who you are. I’m sorry, Fairlight. I really, truly, am.” 

My world cracked. Parts of my past, of my memories of childhood, showered down around me like hard rain. “Did you ever love us, Dad?” I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “Did we ever mean anything to you?”

“Of course you did.” Dad let out an ironic laugh. “How do you think you came into the world? You may not believe it but your mother and I were young once too you know, and we were hopelessly in love. To me she was the most beautiful mare I’d ever seen. Her figure was that of a goddess, her mane long and flowing like a river of liquid midnight. But it was her eyes that really gripped my heart, and they drew me in like a moth to a flame. I honestly thought we’d be together forever, but somewhere along the way… we got lost. Love… got lost. Whether it was because of my hours at work, something I’d done or not done… I don’t know. I’ve spent many restless nights asking myself that very question, but whatever the reason, our love faded away like the memory of a summer’s dream.” He sat up, “But don’t think that means I never loved you. I did. Of course I did. I was just never any good at expressing it, or breaking past that selfishness within myself.” He chuckled quietly, “I was proud of you though. I kept tabs on your progress through some of my contacts at work, and I knew what you were up to. Even now.”

“Even now...” I hung my head as a flood of emotion took me. “How did you know so much about me?” I asked. “About… you know.”

“The whole wendigo thing?” Dad shrugged, “Your mother was one. Did you know? Oh, the wendigo as a people didn’t really exist any more of course, but the bloodline is still there; grey coated unicorns, yellow eyes, black mane and tail. You know about that.” He raised an eyebrow, “Personally I didn’t until I joined the agency.”

“You joined the agency?!” My head flew up as his words sank in. “Why the hell wasn’t I told?!”

“Why would you be?” he asked curiously. “I worked on undercover work, and contact with a family member would have left you, your mother and me, open to being compromised. Warlock kept his word and didn’t tell you. And for that at least, I’m grateful.”

“Warlock?” My mane bristled. He was the bastard who tortured his own sister, Tingles. She’d never fully recovered from what that monster had done, and even worse, as far as I knew he was still working for the agency even now. “You keep bad company, Dad,” I rumbled.

“I did,” he admitted. “Warlock was a good agent, but his methods were… ‘questionable’ at times.” Dad fixed me with a look, “As were yours too, I believe.”

“I got the job done.”

He smiled with a nod, “You did.”

Silence fell once again, the two of us lost in our own worlds of reflection and memory. I didn’t know what else to say to him. What else was there, really, when you got right down to it? I’d always known mum and dad’s relationship had been on the rocks when I was younger, but I’d just blanked it out. After all, if I didn’t think about it, if I ignored it, then it couldn’t be real, right? Yeah…

A click behind me, and the sound of the door opening. I instinctively moved to allow the nurse to come into the room unhindered. She would have walked round me, but politeness, even when you were dead, cost nothing. Dad and I watched her as she quietly changed one of the drips and tucked his pathetic body back in under the covers.

“She’s a good one,” dad observed pleasantly. “Looks after her patients diligently, always professional and respectful, but above all that, she cares. I mean, really cares.”

I nodded, smiling as the nurse went about her duties completely oblivious to the two of us. “I’m not sure about the way she warms the thermometer in her mouth though,” I observed quietly. I knew what Meadow would have said about that!

Dad shrugged, “It’s not the only thing she’s had in her mouth.”

“Eh?” What he’d said suddenly slammed into my consciousness with all the subtlety of a derailed freight train, “Bloody hell, dad!”

“What?” he chuckled. “I wasn’t always like this you know.” He jerked a hoof towards the lump in the bed. “Love Heart and I had something going when I was younger. Long after I’d broken up with your mother of course.” He shrugged, “It never lasted. Her career and mine just kept getting in the way of one another. It never would have worked out, we were both far too stubborn for our own good.” Dad chuckled, “But by the gods, it was worth it!”

I stared at the nurse. She was late middle aged I would say, white coated with pink hair that was just starting to go grey here and there. I’d seen a near mirror image of her before. Ponyville?

“Her sister works in Ponyville,” Dad answered as though reading my mind. “Red Heart.”

“Figures.” I felt a laugh starting to well within me, “Anypony in your life now, Dad?”

“Now?” dad snorted. “Looking like that? Ha! Gods, no.” He shook his head, “Had plenty of mares over the years, but it was only ever superficial. A bit like your old father, eh?”

I shook my head slowly, “I never thought-”

“What? That I didn’t like mares?” Dad asked. “Not like you then! Goddesses in their heaven, how many is it now? Two? Three?”

“Three,” I replied. I’d ceased being surprised by how much he knew about my life. If he’d been in the agency he probably knew my inside leg measurements too.

“Bloody hell, Fairlight, I’ve heard of ‘a bit on the side’, but that’s ridiculous.” Dad’s laughter echoed around the room totally unheard by the nurse. “You do know what you’ve let yourself in for, don’t you?”

My shoulders slumped, “I know...”

“And that bony one, the thestral...” Dad shivered, “Now that’s just weird! That’s like banging a corpse. Luna’s lugs, Fairlight, how could you ever-”

“Dad! For the goddess’s sake, please!”

“Ah, you’re no fun.” He sat back in his chair and I watched his eyes following the nurse out. The door closed behind her with a loud click. “Guess that’s that then,” he observed. “I suppose I’ll have to just hang on here until I pop off ‘au naturale’, eh?”

I cleared my throat. “Do you… do you have any idea how long?”

“I thought you’d know that!” Dad remarked. “What with you being the grim reaper now.”

“Oh, for…” I rolled my eyes, “I’m not the grim bloody reaper!”

“I know that, you idiot.” Dad chuckled quietly, “We know all about the herd and the guard. The agency is run by the princesses after all.” He raised an eyebrow at me, “Soul hunters, right?” I nodded in replied. “Good choice,” Dad said approvingly. “Pop put you up to it, did he?”

“How did-?” I shook my head, “No, don’t tell me. I already know!”

Dad’s smile was infectious, “Of course you do.” He shuddered, “Bugger me, I feel like somepony’s walked over my grave. Pardon the expression.” Dad blinked at me, “Did you do something?”

“Me?” I asked in surprise. “Like what?”

“I saw your magic glowing there for a minute.”

“Just having a scratch, see?” My magic glowed again.

“There it is again!” Dad got up and peered under the bed, “I definitely heard something click.”

“Did you?” I answered innocently.

The door to the room opened suddenly and a small troop of nurses and a doctor hurried in.

Dad stood up and looked me in the eyes, his own brown ones a mirror of my own. “You know patricide used to be a capital offence, right?”

“Was it?” I shrugged innocently. “Fancy that.” I lifted the portal device in my hoof and gently moved dad out of the way as the silver light began to build.

Lamplight glanced over his shoulder, “Fairlight, I don’t want her to be blamed. You didn’t-?”

“I plugged it back in, Dad,” I assured him. “Come on, let’s get the hell out of here. It’s time you came home.”

My father’s hoof on my shoulder stopped me. A pair of brown eyes looked into mine and I saw, I think for first time in my life, something I never thought I would see from father. Fear.

“What…” He swallowed, “What happens next?”

“I thought you knew?” I answered honestly. “You know who the soul hunters are, right?” 

“I know, it’s just…” Lamplight closed his eyes and shuddered, “What if I… hadn’t been good?” He looked away and I caught a glimpse of a shining droplet falling from his cheek. “I haven’t done right by you, or your mother. I was a bad father, an even worse parent. I was selfish, thoughtless, and-”

“Dad?”

Lamplight closed his eyes, “Yes?”

“None of that matters now,” I gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “If you weren’t going to the herd you’d already know, trust me. We’re going home now. It’s a whole new start for you, as it was for me.” He looked back at me, but the hesitation was still there. “Dad,” I said gently, “you and mum brought me into the world, and that’s pretty damned special in my book. And I may not have said it very often, but… I love you. Both of you. Now, your whole life can start afresh in the herd and you can do or be anything you want to be. Anything at all.”

His ears pricked up. “Is it as good as they say?” Dad asked.

I winked at him, “You’ll look as young as you were in your prime. And trust me, there are mares aplenty there. You know, I may even introduce you to a few I know.”

Dad’s expression of concern melted like butter, his smile adding to my own. “Son, if I can do it in the mortal world, I can sure as hell do it in the afterlife.” He suddenly grabbed my head and scrubbed my mane, “Come on you, get that silly lid back on your bonce and let’s get the herd out of here. This place stinks.”

Without another word nor backward glance, the two of us, father and son, confidently entered the silver light of the portal. For me it was another day at the office, but for my dad, the stallion who had helped raise me to be the stallion I am today, it was a fresh start in a new world full of infinite possibilities.