I remember my first time. The first time I fought on HER side. Back then, I thought I was living in a nightmare. We were inside a large room, and I was kneeling down on the floor. SHE was standing next to me, and was viciously attacking the enemies that surrounded us. I didn't need to look at her to know who she was; a dark and deadly mare by the name of Nightmare Moon. A shimmering magical field flowed around us, which protected us from harm great and small. I glanced up at the mare, and her maniacal expression made me shiver in fear. Her fury was relentless as she fired magical blast after blast from her horn. Each blast hit an enemy near us, each enemy a uniformed police officer. Every officer she hit twitched and thrashed uncontrollably on the floor, while electricity arced across their bodies.
When I think back to that night, it was so strange that it felt like it happened to someone else. I remember feeling so scared that I wanted to run away screaming and never look back. But something inside kept me calm, while it softly reassured me I was safe in the presence of my Mistress. Part of me didn't know if what I saw was real, or if I was stuck in some sort of deranged fantasy dream.
Since then, so much has changed.
My wild adventures didn't begin with that memory, but with another one about a week earlier. That day, I got fired from my job. I recall being pissed at my boss for firing me, but I can see now that it was all my fault. The day before had been my friend’s birthday, and I drank and partied with him and our friends all night. On a weeknight no less, and I had work in the morning. Looking back, it was such a stupid thing to do. But the person that I was could never pass on an excuse to party. Boozing it up was how you had fun with your friends, right?
I acted like such a brat when I was fired. There was a lot of shouting and yelling, then I stormed out of the building and into the West Los Angeles sunlight.
I can't believe they fired me! It's not fair! It was my buddy's birthday last night, and I hadn't seen him in two weeks! So what if I had a few beers, it wasn't on the clock!
Fuck, it’s bright out here!
I pulled my sunglasses out of my pants pocket and slipped them over my eyes. With my vision stylishly covered, my thoughts went towards getting home.
I really, REALLY wish I had my car, so I could burn some rubber in the parking lot and get the hell out of here. But no, the stupid city towed it ‘cause I wouldn’t pay their stupid parking tickets! So now I gotta take the stupid bus until I can pay their stupid fines.
I ignored the ‘KEEP OFF THE GRASS’ sign and cut across the large lawn that surrounded the tall building. The freshly-watered grass was slippery under my leather-soled dress shoes, but I tramped my way across the treacherous ground anyway. On the other side, I made a beeline for the crosswalk nearby and forged across without waiting for the light to change. Car horns blared, but several middle fingers took care of that. Once across, I turned right and stomped towards the bus stop a half a block away. My short crusade ended when I plopped my ass down on the bus stop bench. I sat there and seethed with anger over losing yet ANOTHER job.
Why can’t they see how smart I am? I DESERVED that job! Everything will fall apart now that I’m gone! They’ll be BEGGING me to come back!
After waiting for what felt like hours (but was probably only a few minutes), I flew off of the bench and screamed out my curses at the late bus for the whole world to hear. In hindsight, I must have sounded like a crazy homeless person. Next, I stomped off to my left and away from the bus stop, then jammed my hands in my pockets and resigned myself to a long walk home. One block later, the bus I was waiting for drove past me. I turned to see it stopping at the same bus stop I just left. In a flash, I turned around and ran back to the bus stop while waving my hands in the air. I screamed at the bus driver to wait, but he didn’t hear me (or didn’t care) and the bus drove off without me. My anger boiled over again as I reached the bus stop, and I kicked the side of the bench as hard as I could. The METAL bus stop bench.
I writhed around on the ground in pain for a long time, while I clutched my broken foot in my hands. The pavement felt warm on my back as I rolled around and rubbed dirt into my nice clothes. Time passed; and to my surprise, so did the pain. When I felt brave enough, I slowly pulled the cheap dress shoe and sock off my broken foot and gingerly checked out the damage. My big toe looked purple and unhappy, and the ball joint under the toe was tender to the touch. But wonder of wonders, nothing felt broken.
My next thought was if I could walk on my hurt foot. So I carefully slipped my sock and shoe back on, then used the bus bench to help me stand up. Once I was upright, I gently put some weight on the injured foot. It felt sore and swollen, but there was no pain. After taking a couple of cautious steps, I felt sure I could walk on the foot for a while. And walk I would have to do, since I remembered that the bus that I missed only came by once an hour. I really didn’t want to wait for it, so I trudged back down the street again with only the ache in my foot and my pissy thoughts to keep me company.
It was just dumb luck I overslept the day of an important meeting at work. A really, REALLY important meeting. Good thing I fell asleep in yesterday’s clothes, ‘cause I didn’t have time to shower or change. I barely made the bus as it was. Besides, the dress shirt and slacks were still clean! Wish I knew where my tie went to, though.
Well okay, I can smell the spilled beer and sweat now. I probably should have soaked myself in Febreeze before I left, but I didn’t have time. It wasn’t my fault!
I don’t understand why my boss kept getting madder and madder, I had everything under control! I remembered everything I was supposed to say. I think. I wish he hadn’t yelled at me so much, doesn’t he know it’s not cool to yell at someone who has a hangover? He just got madder when I told him that, though.
Who cares about one stupid client, anyway? We have plenty of them!
My anger finally burnt itself out, and the truth of everything hit me all at once.
Aw, who am I kidding? I fucked up, big time.
AGAIN.
A major cloud of gloom settled over me as I made my way down the street. I let my feet do the walking and time just went by. A long while later, I came up to a big intersection that I had to cross. There were only two lanes of traffic in each direction, but there was a large grassy median in the middle. The crosswalk was already flashing, but I didn’t give a shit and crossed anyway. I plodded across the median, and suddenly horns were blaring at me. I looked up, and saw a line of cars stopped and honking their horns at me. I had better things to worry about, so I just flipped them the double birds and kept on walking.
My route home took me past a quiet business park, so I decided to take a shortcut through it. And that’s when things got weird. I was just moping my way down the empty streets when I heard something strange. This strange thing was a sound, and it was strange because I hadn’t heard anything like it before. I could only describe it like a "clip-clop-clank"; like metal hitting concrete on an off-kilter pattern. The sound was so strange yet unique, that I couldn’t ignore it no matter how hard I tried.
What the hell is that?
Out of curiosity more than anything, I took a look over my shoulder towards the sound.
Perhaps a dozen steps behind me was a large...something. That something was covered in something shiny; so shiny, that it was reflecting the late afternoon sun right into my eyes. I turned around to get a better look, but I still couldn't figure out what the thing was. Despite the glare, I was absolutely sure that the thing wasn't human. It wasn't the right shape to be human. The creature looked to be black or brown or dark blue in color, and about as tall as I was. I was pretty tall, so there weren't many things that were as tall as me and not human that weren't dangerous.
Time to leave, I think.
I wanted to put some distance between me and the creature, but I didn't want to run in case it decided to chase me. So I slowly backed up a few steps. To my dismay it grinned, showing a mouth that was full of sharp, gleaming teeth. The creature was still an indistinct blur, but that grin was unmistakable. A jolt of fear shot through me, and I began to walk backwards.
This time, the creature followed.
It moved with the grace of a cat as it easily matched my pace. At each step forward, the creature's feet made that ‘clip-clop-clank’ sound I heard earlier.
How long has this thing been following me?!
My fear reached a crescendo, and I wondered if running was such a bad idea. Another couple of steps more, and the creature passed into the shadow of a nearby building. Without the glare of the sun, I finally got a good look at it. At that same moment, the creature spoke in what I can only describe as a low, sultry voice.
"Fear. Yessss.....We can taste thy fear. Thou art right to be afraid, for We are the Eternal Night. But, We shall not harm thee. Not today, at least."
That cheshire cat grin of hers would make anyone feel like a morsel on a plate, and I was no exception. Yet, that VOICE. Frozen in place, my body was rigid but not only with fear. No, not fear alone - but with excitement too. Oh, I knew that smokey voice -- from places online and in my dreams.
Her. It's HER. Nightmare Moon! Nightmare FUCKING Moon!
Yes, the same Nightmare Moon who tried to kill her sister and cover Equestria in eternal darkness. The same Nightmare Moon who was defeated in the second episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and was turned back into Princess Luna. So somehow, an evil cartoon horse who no longer exists in her world was standing in front of me on a Southern California sidewalk. To say that the scene was a little weird would be the understatement of the century. Yet Nightmare Moon wasn't just a cartoon walking around, like some bad Who Framed Roger Rabbit? or Cool World rip-off. She sure looked real, moving and breathing and STILL grinning like a maniac. Very creepy.
Well, if she's just gonna stare at me I'll check her out too. Make sure she really IS Nightmare Moon, and not some cheap knock-off or something.
She was essentially horse-shaped and covered in midnight black fur. From what I knew, it was not a common coat color for a horse but not unheard of. But it didn’t take long to see that this was no mere horse. Nightmare Moon was an alicorn, which according to the cartoon show meant she had both pegasus wings and a unicorn horn.
A long, pointed horn with a spiral groove curling up its length? Yeah.
Two very large feathered wings, obviously used for flying? That too.
Her wings were much larger than in the cartoon though, the tips extended past her rump and partly obscured her cutie mark.
Crescent moon cutie mark and purple markings underneath, just like Nightmare Moon? Check.
She had that weird, wavy hair too. Again just like the show, her hair was constantly waving in slow motion like it was caught in a wind - even though there was no wind. And the stars, her mane and tail were filled with stars. I couldn't tell if they were just little lights in her hair, or I was actually seeing a star field through her mane and tail. Her torso and waist were narrower than I expected, which accentuated her flanks and rump. And when she moved, she moved… differently. Quite frankly, she moved like a human would. Well, if the human was bent over and wearing a strange horse costume and....ah, just forget that. PLEASE forget that. Suffice to say, she looked a lot like a horse but moved like a woman. Oh yes, this creature was definitely female. I'm not sure exactly what it was I saw in her, but even if I hadn't recognized her I would still know that this was a mare in front of me.
Then, there was her armor. Not simply made of flat plates, what she wore looked to be heavily ornamental. A Japanese Samurai-style helmet, with a breast plate covered in curves and swirls, and leg armor that covered her legs from her hooves to her knees. Everything was covered in ornate script and markings, making it look like a work of art rather than functional armor. Yet it still left much of her body completely exposed. Perhaps the missing pieces had been lost? Or maybe they interfered with her wings in flight, and mobility was preferred over protection? I had no answers, nor did I care at that time. The armor she wore blended with her midnight fur into one impressive and intimidating appearance. From everything I saw, there was no doubt in my mind that this was Nightmare Moon.
Unfortunately, that same mare had caught me staring. Even worse, she seemed to like it. Her maniacal grin morphed into a cocksure smile, and she purred out a sly comment.
"See something you like?"
A backwards glance and a wiggle of her rump spoke volumes.
I slid my sunglasses off my face and hooked them on my shirt collar out of habit. Then gaped in wonder at the mare in front of me. I never, NEVER expected to meet Nightmare Moon - not even in even my wildest dreams. And yet, she was here. Somehow. Fantasy had incredibly become real, and to my immense surprise, the reality was HOT. Yes, that kind of hot - smoking, sexy hot. I sure didn't expect that!
The scene in front of me was like all those sexy videos, where the woman moves in slow-motion, shaking her long, wavy hair out all over. Then she gives the camera a slow, sultry smile. At the same time, I was also reminded of a meme about a 'ridiculously photogenic horse' meme that fit pretty well too. The ebony mare in front of me stood there, while her magical mane and tail slowly waved in some unseen wind, almost like they were eternally in slow-motion. And that smile of hers! With one smile, she made herself look confident and sexy with just a hint of arrogance. Sure, I thought it would be cool to meet Nightmare Moon someday. But like this? No way.
I could feel my skin get hot and tingly, and I'm sure my face flushed bright red. Oh, there's a reason why it's called being 'turned on'. These feelings were very familiar to me, I'd felt them the last time I crushed real hard on a girl. But crushing on another species, an actual talking horse? I wasn’t so sure about that. My body didn't seem to care what I thought, however. Unsure if I should listen to my body or my mind, I just stood there and stared.
Despite all of this grandiose alliteration, only a handful of seconds had passed. Before I could find my voice, Nightmare Moon chose to speak again.
"Nothing to say? Ah well."
The slump in her shoulders was hard to miss.
"At least thou didnst run, like the others we spoke to."
Her reaction was so unexpected, so out of place for this confident mare, it snapped me out of my stupor.
This...this is crazy! A cartoon horse is actually standing in front of me. And talking to me.
This CAN'T be real. It just CAN'T. Which means something else is going on.
Could I be dreaming? It's the only thing that makes sense. I guess I passed out from heat stroke or something, and this is just a dream.
Which means...
I can do anything I WANT to do in a dream.
Oooooooh.
"Nightmare Moon? You're Nightmare Moon?"
"Thou hast heard of Us? But We have not yet spoken Our name to any of this world. How did--"
If I was dreaming, I was going to make sure I had a little fun. Quickly moving forward, I reached out to Nightmare Moon and cradled the bottom of her muzzle in my hands. Part of me was surprised that the mare didn't just run, or fly away or even attack me. But this was a dream, so she was doing what I wanted her to do. Right? The ebony mare's eyes shot open in alarm and she tried to pull away. But this was MY dream, and I would not be denied.
So I held on tight and kissed her as hard as I could.
While I watched the My Little Pony show, I developed a very...let's say 'strong interest' in the villain Nightmare Moon. She may only have appeared a few times in the show, but she was one of my favorites. Such a classy villain she was, and had such a sultry and -- dare I say it -- sexy voice. However, I didn't care for the whole 'cover the world in eternal darkness' part of her plan, because it would end up killing every living thing on her planet. Plants need sunlight to grow, and without food everything would eventually die. Talk about a villain that didn't think her 'cunning' plan through. But it was a cartoon show and not real, so the plot holes didn't matter much.
My thoughts were dragged back to the Night Mare's lips. Which I was kissing with a passion that surprised even me. Her lips felt cool at first, like the cool night air, but warmed quickly under my touch. Part of me was expecting the kiss to be like one would imagine kissing a smelly horse: icky, drooly and reeking of hay. But no, this kiss was not unlike the kisses I had shared with human women. Instead of hay and sweat, I found the scent of lavender and jasmine. Her lips tasted faintly of mint, as if she had recently eaten some peppermint candy. It was wonderful.
After a few long lingering moments that felt so much longer, I broke the kiss and opened my eyes. Her eyes opened as well, revealing her aqua-colored orbs with their exotic cat-like slitted pupils. Their..well, the alien-ness of her eyes drew my attention and made me really LOOK at them.
Those eyes are mighty detailed for a dream. And I can see each of the hairs in her eyelashes. And the individual strands of fur on her muzzle.
And she just BREATHED on me.
Oh shit.
THIS IS REAL!!!
I released her and quickly stammered out my apologies. This was a very dangerous mare, and I had just kissed her without permission. I didn't know how much trouble I was in, but it had to be a LOT of trouble.
Nightmare Moon’s response was a wide, toothy grin.
“Oh ho, is this how you primates greet your betters? I doth approve!"
This time, the ebony mare darted in to kiss me, and wrapped a hoof around my neck so I couldn’t get away.
Not like I wanted to, anyway.
The taste and touch of her lips was still very human-like, more than enough to quickly forget that she was not human. Parting her lips ever so slightly, she pushed forward a bit and kissed me hard, but soft; cool as the deepest night but also fire as well. I swear I felt stars explode in my head each time she kissed me. Our lips met again and again for a split second each but they all felt like forever.
At last we parted, my eyes opening slowly to meet those large, beautiful slitted eyes of hers. A feeling of peace and serenity passed over me, and the lazy smile on the Night Mare's muzzle hinted that she felt the same way. We shared several more moments of warm bliss between us, as we got lost in each others’ eyes.
The moment was shattered when Nightmare Moon violently shook her head! She shook her head left and right, as if she was trying to break some spell that had fallen over us. And it worked! I found myself wondering what the heck she was doing. Then took a step back when I realized her very sharp horn was slashing the air right in front of my face. The mare's armor clanked and rattled due to the rough shaking of her head and neck. Nightmare Moon suddenly ceased her thrashing, then brought a hoof to her forehead.
"Nay, nay! This is not why I approached thee."
I couldn't resist making a smart-ass comment.
"Was fun, though."
Something bumped my left shoulder and knocked me off balance. A quick glance revealed Nightmare Moon's wing folding back to her side. Looking back at her, I saw a smirk steal over her muzzle.
"Smart-donkey."
Guessing her meaning, I puffed my chest up a bit.
"You know it! So...why DID you come talk to me?"
"I have traveled to thine world looking for soldiers for mine army. My home of Equestria is...lost to me now. Thus, I wish to start anew in this land. I cast a spell to find suitable candidates, and it drew me to thee."
Figuring her spell had gone wrong, I had the urge to make a flippant remark.
"Why me? What was this spell supposed to do, draw you to a great warrior or something?"
The Night Incarnate must have missed my sarcasm, as she did not laugh at me.
"Nay, merely to one that would wish to join mine army. We cast numerous spells to scry for great warriors that would be loyal to us, but..."
She paused briefly; her downcast gaze implied this was an unpleasant subject. With a sigh, she returned my gaze.
"...none were successful. Either the spells failed to find such warriors, or the warriors were too far away. Thou art not a warrior, yet mine army must grow."
"That's not particularly flattering."
"My apologies to thee, no insult was intended. What say you?"
"To what?"
Understanding hit me a moment later.
"Oh, you mean to join your army?"
"Aye. I would very much enjoy having thee at my side in battle."
A slow smirk crept across her muzzle.
"And at other times. I have found thy bold behavior to be...quite intriguing."
Delight and doubt flowed through me in equal waves. Joining her army would mean completely dumping my life, not to mention armies fight and kill things. What would I do? I'm more a lover than a fighter, as the phrase goes; though my ex-girlfriends might have something not-so-nice to say about that. Would I get put on the front lines, with nothing more than a magic wand to wave?
"I don’t know, I’m no fighter. What good would I be to you in a fight?"
Nightmare Moon strode next to me and extended a wing to wrap around my shoulders. I felt like I had been engulfed in the cool night air, instead of standing in the warm summer sun. The mare caught my eye and gave me a confident smile.
"Then I shall teach thee. I shall teach thee the magic of battle, and how to wield it under fire.
"Pray tell, by what name should I call thee?"
“Oh, um Josh. My name is Josh.”
"I see. A strange name by Equestrian standards, but it seems to suit thee.
“So Josh, what say you?”
I stared at the ebony mare, not really sure how to respond. She stared back, then opened her eyes wide and wiggled her eyebrows. If that was meant to inspire me, it failed. She just looked wild and crazy instead. What was the phrase? ‘Never stick your dick in crazy’? I wasn’t planning on sticking my dick in a cartoon horse any time soon, but the phrase still fit.
Clearly, I had my answer. So I took a step away from the Night Mare and gave it to her.
"Yeah, I gotta say no. I mean, you're hot and sexy and all that. And that kiss was something else. But you bad girls are always bad trouble."
“Bad? Yes, yes I am at that.
"But art thou sure? I am certain I can make it...worth your while."
The ebony mare glanced backwards and gave me a seductive rump wiggle, then flashed me another toothy smile.
"Aw, man! I mean, I'd love to hang with you sometime, maybe throw back a few beers or something. But I got too much going on right now. My rent's already late and I gotta fix that."
"So, you need bits? Join me, and we will be showered in riches!"
"Can you pay my rent today?"
"Nay, I speak of our future."
"Then the answer is still no."
"As you wish. But I am certain that our paths will cross again."
“Yeah, sure. See you later.”
I finally made it back to my neighborhood just as the sun began to dip below the horizon. A look at the time on my cell phone, and I realized I would have been home a lot faster If I had just waited that extra hour for the next bus. Oh well. The apartment complex I lived in was only two stories tall, with a deluxe apartment directly over the front gate. The building was painted some shade of brown, and trees were planted on either side of the front gate. Bushes covered the bottom edge of the building, though they were trimmed so they didn't block any windows. And the building number was in huge letters on the side of the building.
I turned off of the sidewalk and walked through the gate. Once inside, I smiled at the familiar sight of the courtyard. In front of me was a swimming pool, surrounded by concrete and patio chairs and tables. In the center of the courtyard beyond the pool were two deluxe apartments, stacked on top of each other. More apartments surrounded the courtyard. Small, scraggly bushes provided a separation between the first floor apartments and the public pool area. Stairs stretched up towards the second floor walkway on either side of the pool. The metal railings on the stairs and the second floor were old and rusty and looked ready to fall off any moment..
I walked to the left of the pool and went up the stairs to the second floor. It was only a short walk down to the back corner apartment, and in moments I stood in front of the door to my apartment - number 26. A distinctive clatter told me the window to my left was open, and the breeze was rattling the closed blinds. I opened the screen door, and found a printed piece of paper taped to my front door.