“Luna, please! I didn't mean for that prank to mess up your coat! It was only glue, be reasonable!” Nick struggled in Luna's magical grasp as she angrily stomped towards the castle moat. Her normally pristine dark blue coat was matted together in knots and dozens upon dozens of globs of glitter glue, sparkly mini pompoms, and feathers were stuck to it.
“In our time, this WAS reasonable, friend Nicholas. We believe a brief swim with the vicious moat monster will teach thee a lesson about humility. We shall ensure thou shall not perish, but thou will suffer.” Luna scowled at a few guards as she heard them snicker ever so slightly. This was going to take a lot of work to fix… perhaps she could finally go the that ‘spa’ Lady Rarity kept telling her about, she thought to herself.
Nick seemed to freeze for a moment, shivering ever so slightly. It was nearly unnoticeable. “D-did you say moat monster?”
“Yes We did.”
“We have a moat monster?”
“Just got him. We are sure the two of you will get along swimmingly,” she responded, chuckling to herself. “He has quite the appetite.”
“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!”
“Nay, Our mental health is at manageable levels. We simply believe in enacting justice upon thee.” Luna trotted through the gardens and onto one of the many bridges that stretched over the moat. “Ready, Nicholas?”
“Is ‘no’ a valid answer?”
“No.”
“Fudge. If I live, I'm gonna get you back for this, Moonbutt.” With that, Luna released Nick, sending him plummeting ten feet into the moat below. He almost immediately resurfaced, scrambling towards the shore.
“HELP! SOMEONE HELP! THE MOAT MONSTER'S GONNA EAT ME!” Nick quickly evacuated the moat, still screaming. “I DON'T WANNA DIE! I DON'T WANT ANYTHING...to...huh?” He lifted up his right arm, where a creature he had never seen in the waters before was attached to his limb. “Uh, Luna? I think your moat monster is… uh… defective.”
“Ahahaha!” Luna toppled over, laughing. “Thou fell for it! Thou really fell for it! Dost thou truly think we would allow thee to come to harm? We have been meaning to get groomed soon anyway, thy stunt was just the incentive we needed!”
Nick groaned. “O...kay then. But, uh…” He held up the creature latched onto his arm. “You gonna help me with this?”
“As the youth these days say, ‘Nah, dude.’ That monster is Pinkie Pie's pet alligator, Gummy. He has no teeth. She is away visiting her family and requested that the two of thee get to know each other. His care instructions are in your castle mailbox. Verily, we shalt catch thee later, brother that skis!”
Luna teleported away, and Nick lifted his arm again to look at Gummy. Gummy blinked back, but out of sync. “...did Princess Walla-walla just try and say ‘broski’? I swear, that mare… anyway, I'd better get you off so I can take care of you for Pinkie.” The human grabbed the little reptile's mouth with his left hand, attempting to pry it open and free his right hand. “C'mon, c'mon…” He started shaking his arms to loosen the grip. “No teeth should mean a loose grip, so- AHA! Wait…”
Nick deadpanned as he saw that he had indeed freed his right hand from Gummy's grip. Now the alligator was latched onto his left hand. “Seriously? Are we gonna play this game, you wannabe dragon?”
Gummy didn't do anything in response. “Are you gonna do something?! Blink, twitch, do SOMETHING!”
Surprisingly, Gummy let go, dropping down to the ground. Nick breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank goodness. Now I can- LET GO OF MY FOOT, YOU STUPID LIZARD!” Gummy, having gummed down on Nick's ankle, snaked his tongue out and licked his eye.
“Oh, so that's the game you wanna play, is it?”
No response.
“I thought so.”
Celestia trotted into the castle mail sector to check in on the postmares and retrieve any mail addressed to her that wasn't critical enough for a direct delivery.
“Hey, Celly.” Nick walked by, reading a ‘manual’ written in crayon on unused birthday invitations.
“Oh, good afternoon, Ni-” Celestia paused. “Um, Nick…”
“I know, Celly.”
“Okay, but why is there a small alligator latched onto your scalp?”
“Because I gave up trying to move him. He's a hat now.”
“Let me guess, Pinkie Pie?”
“Pinkie Pie.”