“‘A basic plan’, she said,” Ash muttered, staring at the foot-thick book sitting on the table in front of him, one of seven copies that Twilight had distributed to her friends upon entering the throne room while keeping an eighth one for herself and Spike.
“For Twilight, this is basic,” Starlight Glimmer said, levitating her own copy and looking it over. “The hardback binding job is a bit… extra, though.”
“This isn’t my plan,” Twilight said, taking a seat in her throne, “it’s the guidelines for running a school set forth by the EEA.”
“What’s the EEA?” Applejack asked, eyeing the tome in front of her warily before opening it to a random page.
“The Equestrian Education Association,” Twilight answered. “They’re the group responsible for ensuring that every school across Equestria lives up to the same high standards of education, no matter what a particular school’s specialty may be. Celestia told me how I’d need their approval and-”
“You needed their approval?” Ash asked. “You’re a Princess, Twilight. You outrank all but three other ponies in this country.”
“Even Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns had to be accredited by the EEA,” Twilight said. “Not even a Princess can do whatever she likes when it comes to shaping young pony minds.”
“Is that like the EEA motto or something?” AJ asked, flipping to the front of her book.
“Celestia said it,” Twilight replied, flatly.
“Oh,” AJ said.
“Anyway,” Twilight said in a tone that threatened sharp words to anypony who dared interrupt again, “I drafted a proposal and presented it to the EEA, and they’ve granted us provisional accreditation, so we’re all clear to proceed with opening the School of Friendship.”
“Question,” Rainbow Dash said, raising a hoof, “how do we get… not provisional credit-nation?”
“Accreditation,” Twilight corrected reflexively. “The EEA’s head stallion, Chancellor Neighsay-”
“Oh, that name bodes well,” Ash deadpanned.
“Can I please finish a sentence?” Twilight snapped. Ash nodded and gestured for Twilight to proceed. “As I was saying,” Twilight grumped, “Chancellor Neighsay will come review the School during our Friends and Family Day and grant us full accreditation, provided that we do things by the book.” She tapped her hoof on her copy of the guidelines to emphasize the last three words.
“So, we’ve gotta do everything this books says to do,” Rainbow said. Twilight nodded as Rainbow lowered her head to look at her copy from tabletop level. “Twilight,” she said, “this thing is almost as big as my head. Are you sure you want us,” she swept a hoof around to point at everyone present, “to be the teachers? Us?”
“You’ll all do fine,” Twilight said. “There aren’t any ponies better qualified to teach the principles of Friendship and Harmony than the six of us, after all. Er, six plus one,” she amended, nodding at Ash.
“Just looking at this book is making me feel sleepy,” Rainbow said. “You know I can’t do the normal classroom lecture and note-taking kind of learning, Twi.”
“Teaching a class is a lot different from being a student, Rainbow,” Twilight replied. “I’ll do whatever I need to to help each of you learn all the guidelines we’ll need to follow. There are a few things in here that won’t apply to our school because of the age range our students are going to fall into.”
Rainbow Dash didn’t look entirely convinced, but she sat back and said, “Guess you can call me Professor Dash, then.”
“Speaking of students,” Rarity chimed in, “I assume we’re not just going to be taking students from Ponyville, but how far out are we going to be looking for our first year’s class?”
“We’ll accept students from all corners of Equestria,” Twilight said. She produced a short stack of papers and passed one to each of her friends. “And not just from Equestria, either,” she continued. “I had Celestia and Cadance help me reach out to every nation we have ties to, inviting them each to send one or two students to the school. That will give us a big head start in both spreading Friendship to other creatures and acclimating ponies to our newer allies like the Dragons, Yaks, Hippogriffs-”
“And Changelings, I see,” Ash cut in with a sour tone. “I don’t know why I’m surprised, but you’re going to let those emotion-draining, underhanded, shape-changing insects-”
“Ash, darling,” Rarity said, “you shouldn’t let yourself get so worked up. If you lose your temper, you may forget yourself and try to use magic.” Ash dutifully clamped his mouth shut and took a long, calming breath through his nose. “That’s better,” Rarity said. “I know you have issues with creatures that can change their forms at will, but you must try to move past it. The Changelings aren’t our enemies anymore.”
“Not all of them,” Ash said through clenched teeth. “Chrysalis is still out there with a small hive of her own, planning who-knows what. Obviously, Twilight reached out to Cabbage Patch’s ‘reformed’ Hive and not Chrysalis’, but how can we be sure that the bugs that show up on our doorstep will be the ones that don’t want to turn us into love jelly?”
“Cadance and Queen Cabbage are working out a solution to that exact question, actually,” Twilight said. “I can’t guarantee they’ll have that solution ready to implement by the time the school opens, but...” She shrugged with a hopeful look in her eye.
Ash blinked. “Those two are actually talking to each other now?” he asked. “Since when?”
“Cabbage claims they started smoothing things over while you were all flying back to Canterlot after capturing the Storm King and his fleet,” Twilight answered.
“Didn’t sound like it to me,” Ash muttered, but then shrugged. “Whatever. Good for them, I suppose. I...” He hunched his shoulders and laid his ears flat against his head. “I will endeavor to keep a civil tongue in my head, no matter what my students may be,” he intoned.
“I appreciate that, Ash,” Twilight said. “We’re all going to have our own little difficulties early on, since none of us have any formal experience as teachers. I have faith we can get past those difficulties quickly, though, so long as we do things by the book. Which,” she added as she got up from the table, “you should probably all start going over. Our doors will open as soon as the school building is built and our students start arriving. Rainbow, I’ll put together some visual aids for you and set them up where you can see them during your morning practice.”
“Thanks, Twilight,” Rainbow said, pushing her book away and hopping into the air. “Speaking of practice, I promised to help Scootaloo with a thing. See ya.” She zipped out of the throne room, stirring up a brief yet stiff breeze in her wake.
Ash opened his copy of the guidelines to the table of contents and let out a soft groan. “Sections and subsections nested three deep,” he said. “Welp, bureaucracy ho!”