Junior yawned as he rose out of his bed. His eyes were heavy and his body was slow as the morning sunlight shone through his window. He got out of his bed and stumbled out of the bedroom and made his way to the kitchen. He sniffed as he went into the pantry and drew out a box of oatmeal. He sat it down on the counter and began to turn on the stove.
"Hey! Hey, Goji!" called a familiar voice. Junior's drowsy eyes opened more. He began to look around in confusion.
"Huh? Where-"
"Right here!" said the voice. Junior slowly turned to the oatmeal box, his eyes wide. Instead of Quaker Oats on the box, he found Rodan's image. He grinned as he waved at Junior.
"Yo!" said Rodan.
"Rodan? What in the hell?" asked Junior, stumbling back.
"Hey! No questions, man! I want to go on another dream adventure!" demanded Rodan. Junior groaned as he rubbed his eyes.
"No, Rodan. That caused way more problems for us than whatever Quaker Oats ever could have caused," said Junior in a tired tone.
"But I already brought our friends! Even Flash!" said Rodan. Junior looked at him in confusion.
"Wait, you did what?!" asked Junior. Suddenly, Rodan leaped out of the box, growing to normal size. Junior yelped in alarm as the Main 7, the Dazzlings, Mosura and Angirasu hopped out of the oatmeal box along with him. Junior stared slack jawed at the others, who were all in their PJs.
"Great..." said Junior in annoyance. He noticed Flash's image on the oatmeal box, which bore an embarrassed look.
"Aren't you coming out?" asked Junior in confusion.
"Uh... I rather not. See I kinda... Sleep in the nude," muttered Flash. Junior groaned as he face palmed.
"Why? You're just gonna get pubes on your sheet," said Junior to himself. Adagio laughed in amusement.
"That's just too funny! You should have saw the girls' faces when we went to go get him!" laughed Adagio, causing Flash to blush more. The rest of the girls stood awkwardly while Twilight was blushing furiously.
"I don't know what the hell you're laughing at, Ada. I mean you're wearing pretty much nothing," deadpanned Junior, gesturing to Adagio. She wore a see-through top, exposing her torso save her breasts, with only dark panties covering her bottom. Adagio chuckled as she placed a hand on her hip.
"I know. Pretty hot, right?" asked Adagio with a seductive smile. Junior sighed.
"I just can't win with you," said Junior. Suddenly, a boy who looked to have descended from Mexicolt appeared. He strummed a guitar.
"Ooooooh~ Play Doggy, play doggy~!" The boy sang in continuous loop. Junior leaned close to Rodan with an odd look.
"Who's the kid?" whispered Junior. Rodan shrugged.
"No idea. He just started following us when we were dream hopping," answered Rodan. Junior sighed.
"Whatever, I guess I'll go along with this. It'd be a waste to not indulge. I mean I get to finally live one of my dreams," said Junior. Fluttershy looked at Junior curiously.
"And what might that be, Goji?" asked Fluttershy. Junior smirked.
"World Domination," said Junior. An uncomfortable silence filled the air as the teens all stared at Junior, as the young boy continued singing.
"Oh come on! At least some of you thought of it just out of boredom," said Junior with a scoff.
"Well that's gonna have to wait, Gojira. Rodan actually needs help," said Sunset. Junior raised a brow.
"Why? What's going on?" asked Junior.
"Well, I was enjoying my dream as the Hunk King. But as I was showered with babes, the Pink Panther came out of nowhere and said that he was gonna have me for lunch. So I was chased out of my dream bubble," said Rodan. Junior looked at him in confusion.
"Wait, as in The Pink Panther? Like the cartoon character?" asked Junior incredulously.
"That's the one," said Rodan with a nod. Junior sighed as he scratched his head.
"Well then, why didn't you conjure up some other characters to protect you? Like Optimus Prime or something. I don't know," said Junior with a deadpanned look.
"I was too scared to focus," said Rodan in a small tone. Suddenly, the wall to the kitchen exploded, causing the teens to cry out in fright. They found the Pink Panther coming through.
"Oh how delightful! More victims to gobble up!" said the Pink Panther, his voice deepening and becoming demonic. The dream bubble was exposed from where the panther burst through, exposing Junior's bedroom in real life. The toon character was flanked by Ladybug Man, the hero in spotted spandex. He crossed his arms as he gave a heroic chuckle.
"We meet again, Gojira Takeshi!" said Ladybug Man, striking a pose. Junior narrowed his eyes.
"Ah not this guy again," said Junior in annoyance.
"But wait! There's more!" said Ladybug Man as he pulled out a glass cup filled with liquid, bearing a face.
"You're going to pay for what you did to me, Rodan!" yelled the cup. He then looked to Ladybug Man with a worried look.
"Please don't spill me," said the cup.
"Hey, didn't you pull that guy's outline off and he melted?" asked Sonata, looking to Rodan. The red haired teen bore a nervous smile.
"Hey, Baldy! How's it goin'?" asked Rodan.
"Lord Quaker Oats may be gone, but my thirst for revenge is strong! Only your blood can quench my thirst!" said Baldy angrily.
"Hehe. Yes. Now, prepare yourselves! For we have formed a deadly alliance!" said Ladybug Man. The teens all tensed as they prepared to fight. Junior sighed in annoyance.
"Fuck this," said Junior, closing his eyes. Suddenly, a massive mosasaur dropped from the ceiling, crushing the three enemies in one fell swoop. The mosasaur roared as it flapped its tail fin on the ground. The teens stared in shock at what just happened.
"See? It's not that hard, Rodan," said Junior with a deadpanned look. Rainbow and Rodan both groaned in disappointment.
"That fight was so anti-climactic! Worse boss battle ever!" said Rainbow.
"Who cares? Besides, that's no way to thank Tickle Tummies, now is it?" said Junior, making his way over to the mosasaur. The rest of the teens looked at Junior in confusion.
"Wait, 'Tickle Tummies'?" asked Aria.
"Why is that his name?" asked Twilight in confusion.
"One, she's a female. Two... I don't know. She came with the name," said Junior awkwardly. He then began to scratch Tickle Tummies's neck.
"Besides, she's just the cutest thing!" cooed Junior, causing the mosasaur to groan as she raised her neck.
"Aw whooza booza? Who's my dangerous predator from the deep of the Cretaceous Period? You are! You are!" cooed Junior as he scratched Tickle Tummies's neck. His friends just stared.
"Wow. I'm not sure how to feel about this," said Adagio with a stunned look. Fluttershy was just grinning.
"Goji, remind me to get you a pet," said Fluttershy.
"Why?! So he can kill us with it?!" exclaimed Rainbow. Suddenly, a burst of light appeared in the room, prompting the teens to turn and to find a familiar old man with a Saint Nicholas vibe mixed with Jesus Christ.
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" greeted the man.
"Dream Watcher?" Junior exclaimed in surprise. He sighed. "I guess you're here to congratulate us on beating the villains? Actually, just thank me. I did all the work," deadpanned Junior. All of his friends looked at him in offense and annoyance.
"Gee thanks," said Applejack. Dream Watcher merely chuckled.
"Oh no, my dear boy. I'm here to get Flash Sentry out of the oatmeal box," said Dream Watcher, pointing to the oatmeal box. Flash exclaimed.
"My boy, there is much beauty in this world! No one should waste their lives in a silly ol' box of breakfast! Now come on out of there!" said Dream Watcher, pulling Flash out of the box. Flash was exposed to everyone in the world. There was an awkward silence in the room as the teens either looked away or stared, though Twilight was peeking through her fingers. Dream Watcher cleared his throat as he handed Flash the oatmeal box.
"On second thought, perhaps you should stay in the box until the dream sequence ends," said Dream Watcher awkwardly.
"Is that a mole on your ass?" asked Adagio with a chuckle.
"Don't look!" yelled Flash as he held the box over his crotch. Dream Watcher turned to the teens with a smile.
"Anyway, you all should be going back to your dream bubbles! You had quite the adventure!" said Dream Watcher, raising his staff, causing it to glow. Rainbow groaned in disappointment.
"But we just got here! And the fight sucked!" complained Rainbow as she vanished in a flash.
"See ya in the morning, Goji!" said Sunset as she vanished. The rest of the teens, excluding Junior, all vanished from sight. Junior found himself alone with Dream Watcher and Tickle Tummies.
"A gift before I leave," said Dream Watcher, handing Junior a bowl of vanilla pudding. He then vanished. Junior shrugged as he took the spoon and scooped up some pudding. Then, a cat in a tuxedo appeared on the counter.
"That's not pudding~. That's c-" The cat was interrupted as Junior dumped the bowl onto the cat's head. The cat hissed.
"Asshole!" said the cat, disappearing. Junior sighed.
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash slept peacefully in her bed. She stirred in her bed, groaning. In her dream, she found herself trapped in a colorless boarding school. It was devoid of any joy and life in this color-less atmosphere. She sat a desk, filled with tones of school textbooks. She glanced outside longingly outside, which was bright and sunny compared to this dull classroom. She looked to the front of the class, where a strict teacher sat looking through a textbook as well. On the chalkboard was the text, "No Adventure Books Allowed". Rainbow Dash's eyes darted all around her, looking to the dull looking students who were focused on their text books. Rainbow Dash carefully reached under her shirt and drew out a Daring Doo novel. She placed it on her desk, as she used the text books to make a fort to hide her novel. She began to grin as she read through the book. Suddenly, the book was snatched out of her hands.
"Adventure books are forbidden! Only studying is allowed here!" yelled the teacher, standing over Rainbow Dash with the novel in hand. Rainbow trembled in fear as everyone turned their attention on her, their expressions cold and dead.
"Class, it is time to recite our motto! No More Adventures!" said the teacher.
"No more adventures! No more adventures!" the students began to mindlessly chant. Rainbow cupped her hands over her ears.
"No! Shut up!" cried Rainbow. The students began to grab the girl and hold her down on her desk. Rainbow struggled as she attempted to free herself. She gasped as the teacher took her ruler and smacked it on the desk. Rainbow whimpered as the students continued to chant. The teacher began to smack her with the ruler, causing Rainbow to cry out in pain as her skin grew red from the beating.
Rainbow cried out as she shot up. Her hair was frazzled and her lip dripping with drool. She found herself in her bedroom alone. She turned to her dresser quickly, finding her Daring Doo novel. Rainbow held it close to her chest, sighing in relief. She then heard the sound of an alarm going off. She scowled and begrudgingly got out of bed to start this uneventful day of school.
Junior yawned as he walked into the kitchen of his home. He opened the pantry and searched for his breakfast to eat. He was about to reach for the box of oatmeal but stopped, recalling Flash nude. The boy slowly retracted his hand and closed the cabinet. This was unfortunate. He and his mother haven't had the chance to buy groceries.
"Looks like I'm going to have to break bread," said Junior, leaving the kitchen.
Later that morning, Junior was making his way through town. It was pretty early today, an hour or so at least before the first bell for homeroom to ring. However, on Junior's walk, he noticed how foggy it was. It was thick as soup, almost impossible to see through. It'd be bad if he were to cross the street at this time. A car could hit him in this fog. Junior entered a cafe, which was the closest to the school. As he made his way to the cashier, he waited for someone to come by to take him to a seat. He heard whimpering, prompting him to look over the booth and found a familiar shivering man hiding.
"Hey, don't I know you?" asked Junior in confusion. The man shot up with a crazed look on his face.
"They're coming! They're coming! Four Eyes!" cried the cashier.
"What are you on about this time?!" asked Junior, startled by the man.
"There's been rumors. Rumors of a school as black as the night, inhabited by students of the damned. Led by a young man so evil that the Devil himself fears him! A school in Griffin Stone was destroyed! They may be coming here to Ponyville!" cried the cashier.
"OK, you were right about the 4Smarts, but I think you might be wrong on this. I haven't heard of anything you've mentioned. Man, this town's superstitious," said Junior as he relaxed.
"Look, I don't have a lot of time. I gotta get to school soon. Just set me up with the breakfast platter," said Junior. The man merely handed Junior a number, then he briskly walked out of the door. Junior sighed in annoyance as he walked to his table.
About thirty minutes later, Junior sighed. He was stuffed with a filling breakfast. He may have had to spend money, but the food was worth it. He left a tip on the table and left the cafe. He squinted as he looked around, still unable to see through the fog.
"Hey Goji!" greeted Rodan. Junior turned and found Angirasu, Mosura and Rodan to be walking over. Junior smiled and waved to his friends.
"You're up early," said Mosura in surprise. Angirasu bore an odd look.
"Hey, what's with that guy?" asked Angirasu, pointing ahead. The teens turned and found the cashier with a crazed look on his face, standing across the street.
"Beware of the Four Eyed Devil! He is the one you should fear!" cried the cashier.
"Goji?" called Mosura with a look of discomfort.
"Don't mind him. He's a little high strung," said Junior as he began to walk off. The rest began to follow him, still watching the man.
"Beware! Bewaaaare!" cried the man.
"Get some help, man!" said Junior.
"I'll be praying for you!" called Rodan. The teens disappeared into the fog, out of the cashier's sight. He gasped as a low rumbling sound filled the air. His eyes darted around in the fog with fear. He turned down the street and found a massive dark silhouette moving in the distance. The cashier quickly ran back into the cafe and took cover behind the counter.
"They're coming! They're coming!" cried the cashier.
Rarity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash were walking through the fog to school in silence. Rarity moaned as she brushed her fingers into her hair.
"This fog is making my hair frizz!" cried Rarity. Applejack rolled her eyes in response.
"Well, this fog is pretty thick. Like soup. Golly," said Applejack as she squinted.
"Oh! That reminds me! There's a new mall opening!" said Rarity as she drew out a brochure. Applejack and Rainbow raised a brow at her.
"What did? The fog soup or your hair problems?" asked Rainbow.
"Doesn't matter! We should go after school! I've been wanting to do some shopping! Maybe there's something nice we can pick out for you, Applejack," said Rarity. Applejack raised a hand with a deadpanned look.
"No thanks. I'm fine with my current clothes," said Applejack.
"But darling! You're wasting your feminine beauty! You should let them shine!" said Rarity.
"Why? I don't really go anywhere fancy. I need clothes that'll last during my chores," said Applejack with a shrug. Rarity moaned in disappointment.
"Darling, you're too practical," said Rarity.
"What's wrong with that?" asked Applejack in annoyance as Rainbow took the brochure.
"Meh. I'm not feeling up to it. The last thing this backwater town needs is another mall," said Rainbow.
"Well, what would you rather do?" asked Rarity.
"I don't know. I just want some excitement, you know? I'm sick of malls, and school. I want adventure!" complained Rainbow.
Junior found himself walking alongside Principal Celestia in the school hall. Junior bore a deadpanned look as he stared blankly ahead.
"I appreciate you taking up showing around new students again, Gojira. Especially on such short notice," said Celestia.
"Principal, aren't you a little reluctant to accept any new students after all the weirdos we've been getting lately?" asked Junior.
"Whatever do you mean?" asked Celestia.
"Oh I don't know. Pop stars with the power to hypnotize with singing, aliens, vampires. I'm waiting for the day where the Anti-Christ himself shows up for an education or something," said Junior with a deadpanned tone.
"Yes, life is strange," said Celestia with a small laugh. Junior groaned.
"I think you're taking it way too well," said Junior.
"Gojira, dreading over the unknown is no way to live. Besides, there's always a chance that a new face is just a new friend," said Celestia with a smile.
"Or a new enemy," muttered Junior. He then found himself led to the foyer. They were three male students. One was short and stocky, dressed in an yellow shirt with a red stripe running down over the chest, and a pair of baggy jeans. The second was a bit taller, wearing an orange shirt with purple pants, and a black beanie on his head. A gap was between his teeth. The third student was taller then the rest, almost matching Junior's height. He wore a heavy green jacket and had a dumb blank look on his face.
"Gojira, these are the three new students. Ed, Edd, and... What was your name again?" asked Celestia, looking to the stocky student.
"It's Eddy," said the student.
"Of course..." said Celestia. She cleared her throat as she bore a smile.
"Follow Mr. Takeshi along and he'll tell you whatever you need to know," said Celestia, leaving the boys. Junior looked at the students suspiciously. The three new students glanced at each other.
"Is there a problem?" asked Edd.
"You guys aren't vampires, are you?" asked Junior. The boys looked at each other in confusion.
"No... Why do you ask?" asked Edd in confusion.
"Because the last guy that showed here named Ed turned out to be a vampire," said Junior. Ed gasped in shock.
"Y-You mean, there's vampires in this school?!" asked Ed, his voice hinting at his low intelligence.
"There were," answered Junior.
"Nonsense! Vampires are merely fictitious, inspired by Vlad the Impaler." said Edd, raising a hand and speaking in a know-it-all tone.
"God you are such a nerd, Double D," said Eddy with a groan.
"Ah good ol' Vlad. A real hero," said Junior with a sigh. An uncomfortable silence filled the air.
"Well let's get this tour started. I don't have all day," said Junior. He spent the next several minutes showing the newcomers around.
"I must say, Gojira. I look forward to attending your school to expand my education!" said Edd.
"Uh huh," said Junior.
"Heh. Speak for yourself. This place is ripe for new suckers to scam," whispered Eddy to Ed.
'Mental note: steer clear from the midget,' thought Junior, catching Eddy's whisper.
"School? Boring! Is there any clubs here? Oh! Is there any food?!" asked Ed eagerly.
"There's tons of clubs. As for food, of course. It is a public school after all," said Junior. So far these guys didn't seem as weird as the other ones. But he wasn't going to let his guard down.
"By the way, what brought you three over here?" asked Junior curiously.
"Well, our school was recently lost to the Black University Pirates," said Edd.
"I see. Wait, what?" asked Junior stopping in his tracks and looking at the boys in confusion.
"The pirates came to our school and took everything! We can't go back anymore!" cried Ed, crying in his sleeve. "Kevin never stood a chance! You should have seen what that glasses wearing maniac did to Plank!"
Junior grimaced as Edd comforted him, while Eddy bore an annoyed look.
'These guys must not be taking a loss to another school's sports team well,' thought Junior. Eddy gasped as he patted Junior's shoulder.
"Hey, who is that?" asked Eddy. Junior turned to where he was looking, only for his sights to fall on Adagio. The girl smiled as she waved to him, approaching. Junior waved back with a reluctant smile.
"A friend of mine," said Junior. Though he dreaded this. Adagio always seemed to show up when new weirdos did. This made him have bad memories with the vampire incident. Adagio stopped over to Junior with a foxy smile.
"Hey, Goji~! I see you're showing noobies around again! You're so helpful!" said Adagio with a smile.
"Oh... You know me," said Junior with a forced smile. He grunted as Eddy pushed passed him, bearing a sly smile.
"Hey, toots," greeted Eddy. Adagio looked down at the new student.
"Oh. Hey..." greeted Adagio, a bit annoyed that her conversation with Junior was interrupted. Eddy rubbed his nails against his shirt with a suave grin.
"So, you come here often?" asked Eddy.
"Yeah... I do attend school here," said Adagio, awkwardly. Junior merely watched with a deadpanned look.
"Cute. Say, how bout you and me ditch these losers and you show me around?" asked Eddy, stepping close to Adagio as he bounced his brows.
"I mean, who needs this guy? Look at him. He's too tall, he dresses like a Jimmy," said Eddy. Junior looked at his clothes.
"Jimmy? Is that some weird insult from where you're from?" Asked Junior with a confused look.
"His hair's a mess, he's got an ugly mug," said Eddy, gesturing to Junior.
"Fuck you, dude!" said Junior. Adagio's expression grew to annoyance and she felt a growing discomfort as Eddy came closer.
"Heck, he might be a few fries short of a milkshake," said Eddy. Junior growled.
"OK, this is starting to get too personal," said Junior. Eddy then ran a finger under Adagio's chin, who's brows furrowed.
"I'm all the man you need," said Eddy. Adagio suddenly punched Eddy in the gut, causing him to groan and hunch over. The other boys winced. Adagio then kneed him in the face and shoved him to the ground. Eddy groaned as he lied on the ground. Adagio huffed as she made her way to Junior. She clung to his arm and hid behind him with a glare.
"Gojira, keep that tubby little troll away from me," said Adagio. Edd and Ed were snickering at Eddy as he lied on the ground.
"Normally you flirt back. What changed?" asked Junior in confusion.
"Yeah but when I flirt, I'm playful. I don't insult people. This guy's got a bigger ego than me. Plus he creeps me out," said Adagio, tightening her hold on Junior's arm.
"Play Doggy! Play Doggy!" sang a familiar kid, popping out of a locker. Junior and Adagio recoiled.
"Hey isn't that-" Adagio was interrupted as Junior patted her shoulder.
"Let's not question it," said Junior.
Junior sat in his math class with a bored look. He had just finished giving the Eds the tour around school. He was now listening to a lecture from his math teacher, while putting down notes where necessary. During this, Junior felt vibrations. He felt his feet feel small tremors that were almost subtle. He noticed a couple of other students taking noticed of the vibrations, looking around in confusion. Junior turned to look around, his eyes widening as he found a large silhouette outside of the window, a mile away. The fog was so thick that it obscured the object. A bright flash came from the object. Suddenly, an object came crashing through the window, causing everyone in the room to cry out in fright. The object bounced off the walls and desks. As it settled, it rolled near Junior's desk. It was a red rubber dodgeball.
"What the hell?" asked Junior in confusion.
"Look!" cried Sunset. Everyone in the classroom turned their attention outside the window. The fog began to clear up, revealing a large school, as black as night. The school sat upon a large mass of earth and concrete. Upon the school was a pole, carrying a black flag with crossbones. The windows were rigged with lockers, hollowed out as if they were cannons. The students stared in shock and horror. The math teacher exclaimed as he fled out of the classroom.
"Run! It's The Pirates of the Black University!" cried the teacher. Suddenly, the locker cannons began to fire, launching many dodgeballs at Ponyville High. Students cried out as the balls crashed through the classroom. They began to flee in panic out of the classroom. Junior grunted as he turned over his desk as a dodge ball raced towards him. The ball rocked the desk on impact. He then turned to Sunset, who cried out as she was pinned behind turned over desks. Junior grunted as he picked up his desk and used it as a shield, blocking the dodgeballs, but he stumbled along the way. He dropped to the ground next to Sunset. He turned and caught a glimpse of the so called pirates. They comprised of students, made up of your typical high school cliques. Be it jocks, nerds, theater kids, musicians, goths, etc. They all wielded bats, rulers, tennis rackets, and hockey sticks.
"Come on!" said Junior, helping Sunset up to her feet. The two ran out of the classroom, only to find students fleeing through the hall in panic as dodgeballs crashed through the walls.
"We gotta get out of here!" said Sunset. Junior was about to follow her but then the wall in the hall broke open. Sunset cried out in fright but was tackled to the ground by Junior, shielding her from the debris. He raised himself off of her as he held her close, turning to find several of these students running through the breech. Some of them looked as though they were dressed as your typical pirates.
"Avast ye scallywags! We are here to plunder your school!" said a pirate. Junior helped Sunset up to her feet, standing in front of her as a few pirates came their way.
"You go on ahead! I'll hold these fuckers off!" said Junior.
"Goji, no! I'm not leaving you!" said Sunset. The pirates came charging, wielding their rulers and tennis rackets, giving war cries. Junior rushed forward, catching a nerd's wrist and headbutting him. The nerd cried out as he dropped to the ground. Junior snatched the ruler and smacked the tennis player in the face, causing him to cry out as he clutched his face. Junior snatched his racket and then kicked him to the ground. He ducked under the baseball swung by the third pirate and jabbed his fist against his gut. Junior snatched his bat and shoved it into the back of his sweater. Sunset just stared in awe.
"Go now!" shouted Junior as more pirates came rushing through. Sunset gritted her teeth as she took off running. She panted as she fled through the hall, finding other students and school staff running in panic, as these pirates chased them with their "swords". The pirates were breaking into classrooms, pillaging the valuables inside and were even beating up any student unfortunate to meet their path.
"What the hell is going on here?!" cried Sunset.
"Raise the flag of piracy, sing the song of victory~! Glorious in battle are we~. We've never known defeat, we never will retreat~!" the pirates sang throughout the halls as they invaded Ponyville High.
Junior grunted as he was met with a strike from a bat. He retaliated by socking a jock square in the jaw, knocking teeth out. He then swung the bat at the leg of another jock that flanked him at the side, causing him to cry out in pain as he dropped to the ground. Junior rolled away as a nerd popped up several feet away with a slingshot. As Junior came back up, he threw his tennis racket at the nerd, causing him to grunt in pain as he dropped to the ground from the blow to the face, losing his glasses in the process. Junior looked back, finding several pirate students lying in pain. Junior sprinted off from the area, hoping that his friends were able to escape. He failed to notice a jock coming up from behind him with a bat. Before he could strike Junior in the head, the student was met with a guitar to the face. Junior quickly turned and found Flash panting as he held a broken guitar.
"Sorry, hope I didn't cramp your style," said Flash with a smile. Junior scowled in response.
"Great, now I owe you one," said Junior. Flash smirked in response. They turned as they found more pirates coming, blocking both sides of the hall. Junior and Flash found themselves standing back to back.
"Not good. You know what this means..." grimaced Flash. Junior shuddered.
"Don't you fucking say it," said Junior.
"We gotta join forces to get out of this," said Flash, looking sick.
"Goddamit. I rather die now," said Junior as the pirates advanced.
"Well I still have things I wanna do! Look, we work together and you won't owe me anything," said Flash, raising his damaged guitar.
"Deal," said Junior as he raised his bat. The pirates came charging towards them, and Junior and Flash gave war cries as they lunged for the closest foes.
Angirasu grunted as a few football player pirates slammed into him. Angirasu growled as he kept his feet firmly planted on the ground, remaining rooted in place. The jocks struggled to overpower the Transmutant, who was like a massive boulder in their way. Angirasu yelled as he forced the jocks back and then slammed into the first one closest. He punched the other in the face and kicked the third. He then lunged and tackled the fourth, sending several punches.
"Haha!" laughed Angirasu. The Dazzlings joined his side. The teens were in the middle of the gymnasium with several other students, fighting off these pirates.
"You seem to be having fun," panted Adagio.
"Are you kidding?! I never felt so alive! I fucking love fighting!!" cried Angirasu. The Dazzlimgs bore stunned looks.
"So this is Aangie when he's excited..." said Sonata. Aria cried out in pain as she was kicked in the back. She whipped around with a growl, finding a few pirate cheerleaders with pompoms.
"Ok! We are the Pirates of Black University~! We will send you to Eternity~! ~You should take a bath~! Submit now or face our wrath~! Yeah!" cheered the girls as they formed a pyramid.
"Ooh! We should join the cheerleading squad!" said Sonata with a grin.
"You dunce! This isn't the time!" said Aria with a glare. She then looked to Angirasu.
"Get'em Aang!" said Aria. Angirasu grew pale.
"But... they're girls. I can't hit them," said Angirasu. Aria scoffed.
"What are you? A sexist?" asked Aria with disdain in her tone. Angirasu stiffened.
"I... huh?!" Angirasu slumped his shoulders.
"Aria, stop that! Besides, that's stupid!" said Adagio in disapproval.
"Yeah I know. I just wanted to see if he would do it if I gave him an ultimatum ," chuckled Aria, mischievously. Angirasu scowled.
"Then I'm definitely not doing it! Since you're so tough, you do it!" said Angirasu, punching a jock that got up from the ground.
"It's ok! We don't have to hit them to beat them!" said Adagio.
"Then how?!" asked Angirasu. Aria smirked and Sonata bore a mischievous smile.
"You mean..." Aria chuckled. Adagio bore a dark smile.
"Operation: Mean Girls," said Adagio. She then turned to the cheerleaders.
"You have too much make up on! You look like clowns!" shouted Adagio.
"What?" asked Angirasu in confusion.
"You're the worse cheerleaders I've ever had the displeasure of seeing!" said Aria.
"Your boyfriends think I’m cuter than you!" said Sonata.
"What are you doing?!" asked Angirasu incredulously.
"Uh... we're insulting them. Try to keep up," said Aria.
"The mean girls tactic will get them to falter and run away crying!" said Adagio. The cheerleaders dropped from their pyramid with angry looks. They shook their pompoms as they advanced.
"Oh no! It's not enough!" said Sonata in alarm.
"We gotta be more shallow! Time for the hammer! Aang, insult them!" said Aria. Angirasu bore incredulous look.
"Why me?!" Asked Angirasu.
"Because only a handsome guy can make these bitches break! Mock their appearance or something! It messes with their heads if they're so shallow!" said Adagio. Angirasu grimaced.
"Uh... ok. Um. You're make up is... no that was said. Uh..." Angirasu gulped as he struggled to think of an insult. The cheerleaders were advancing.
"Angirasu, hurry!" cried Sonata as the Dazzlings backed up to him.
"Y-You're all fat!" said Angirasu. The cheerleaders all stopped and gasped in shock.
"Yeah! That's right! You're all a bunch fatty-fat-fats! Its all in your faces! You're ugly too!" Said Angirasu. He noticed that the girls were trembling. They sniffled as tears streamed down their faces.
"Jeez! Why are you being so mean?!" cried a cheerleader. The girls sobbed as they ran off from the gymnasium, leaving only the jocks to fight. Angirasu grimaced.
"What have I done?" said Angirasu in regret."I'm a monster"
"Aw. Aang, you have a heart of gold. Such a sweet thing," said Adagio as she rubbed Angirasu's shoulder in comfort. They gasped as jocks began to surround them.
"How disgustingly sweet" said a jock in a hateful tone.
"Too bad we're going to throw ya'll overboard, before yer start shipping" said another jock.
Aiko suddenly appeared from nowhere, with an electric rod labeled 'Sonata Repellent'.
"Mom!" cried Angirasu.
"Stand back kids!" said Aiko. "Cause things are gonna get nuts"
She swung her electric baton against the first pirate jock. Then she slid under the next and jabbed the electric rod against him, knocking him out. She kicked another jock in the chest and then swept the leg of another. She grunted as a jock came up and grabbed her from behind, holding her up. Aiko grunted in pain from being crushed. Another jock came rushing for her to meet her with a punch as she was restrained. The undercover soldier kicked her legs forward, striking the pirate jock in the jaw, thus propelling her and her captor backwards. The two fell onto the ground, and Aiko was able to grab her electric baton on the ground. She freed her arm and jabbed her baton against the jock, who cried out in agony and passed out.
"Nice!" said Aria.
Aiko got up with a pant.
"Thirty First Rule of Riku Aiko" Aiko Explained. "Never bear hug a Riku from behind."
She then cried out as a rubber dodge ball slammed into her, knocking her several feet back.
"Mom!!" cried Angirasu.
The teens turned and found a cheerleader standing next to a locker cannon. She was easily the hottest out of all of the cheerleader pirates. She wore a green prom dress that was cut up to her knees making it look like a more fabulous cheerleader outfit, she had a blood stained sliver tiara on top her head, her eyes where bright green, her hair was blonde and her body was fit. All of the other cheerleaders were huddled behind her.
"Queen Bee!" A jock groaned in relief.
"Do I have to fight all your battles?" said the girl in an annoyed tone.
Aiko grunted as she shakily stood.
"Run kids!" said Aiko as she rolled away from another cannon blast. "I'll take this bitch!"
"But Mom" Angirasu said in a worried tone.
"GO!" Aiko shouted.
Aria, Adagio and Sonata pulled Angirasu along, who protested.
"Mom, no!" Cried Angirasu.
As they ran out of the gym, a familiar sounding tone began to play in the background.
"Play doggy~! Play doggy~!" sang familiar boy, as he appeared running with everyone.
The Main 7 found themselves hiding under desks in the friendship club. Sunset peeked out of the window, finding these teen pirates running around, pillaging and attacking anyone in their path.
"This is horrible," said Sunset.
"What the heck is even happening?" Where did these people come from?" asked Twilight.
"No clue. But I rather not stick around," said Applejack.
"But what about Goji and the others?" asked Pinkie worriedly. Fluttershy nodded in agreement.
"Yeah we should find them before leaving," said Fluttershy.
"Oh God, they're making them walk the plank," said Sunset. The rest of the girls peeked through the window, horrified and confused to find the chaos. They found pirates rounding up students and forcing them to walk off a plank of wood. Luckily, it wasn't that high of a drop, just a several feet. No one was seriously hurt when they landed. In fact, they ran away from the school as soon as they did.
"Looks like the staff and students are evacuating to the school buses. Maybe the others have as well," said Sunset, hopeful in her tone. Rainbow watched in awe and fascination at these pirates. Her eyes twinkled at the sight.
"Then let's get moving. Hey, where's Rainbow Dash?" asked Twilight. The girls looked around in confusion, only to find the girl running out the door.
"Dashie! Dashie wait for us!" cried Pinkie as the girls all began to run out of the club room as well.
Junior and Flash were sprinting down the school hall. The two were covered in bruises from their earlier fight. They dashed to different halls, attempting to avoid any foe that lurked, singing their song of victory. Junior found the Principal's office behind them. He quickly opened it and waved Flash over to get inside.
As the two entered the office, they narrowly avoided being seen by the pirates of Black University. The two sighed in relief. Junior looked around.
"Looks like no one's here," said Junior as he walked over to Celestia's desk. He found that the monitor on her desktop was on, depicting a live feed of security footage. He found the invaders in every hall, stealing anything they could find. He found the Main 7 running through the school hallway, running to the exit. He even found Angirasu escaping with the Dazzlings, Mosura, Rodan and Erika Shiragami.
"Looks like our friends managed to escape. Good. That just leaves us," said Junior, holding a baseball bat.
"Cool. Then let's hurry and bug out," said Flash.
"Whoa, wait a minute," said Junior as he leaned close to the monitor. He found Aiko Riku trapped in the gymnasium, surrounded by cheerleaders that performed cartwheels and attacked her with their kicks and pompoms.
"Shit! Mrs. Riku got left behind!" said Junior as he popped his knuckles.
"Look, you go on ahead. I'm going back for her," said Junior as he made his way to the door. Flash quickly got in his path.
"Wait, you can't go by yourself!" said Flash.
"A bunch of wannabe pirates aren't gonna stop me. Besides, that's Aang's mom out there," said Junior.
Suddenly, the wall burst open. Junior and Flash both dropped to the ground, as debris flew through the room. The two shot up, finding a tall, lanky pirate, wearing a pair of glasses. He had soul piercing yellow eyes, and an unnerving smile on his face. He wore a blood red trench coat over a dirty button up shirt that was untucked and a pirate hat with math equations etched on the front, rather than a skull and crossbones as stereotypically seen. Several other pirates flanked him through the hole that was breached into the room.
"The School is ours!" declared the lanky pirate.
The other pirates began to take notice at Junior and Flash.
"Yo ho! What shall we do with these scallywags, Captain FourEyes?" asked a pirate as he raised his ruler.
"Toss them overboard!" said the lanky pirate with a malicious grin on his face.
"This is a high school, not a pirate ship, you cunts!" yelled Junior. He and Flash began to swing their weapons at the pirates. As they were stunned from their strikes, Flash made a dash for Four Eyes. He gave a war cry as he was about to swing his guitar, However, Four Eyes stepped to the side and tripped Flash.
"Ah!" Flash yelped as he fell outside into the grass outside, only to be crushed by a fat pirate who sat on him.
"This couldn't possibly get worse" muffled Flash, the fat pirate then farts. "It just did!"
FourEyes smirked as he turned to Junior.
"Goddamit Flash," said Junior as he raised his bat and prepared to attack, but he froze as he noticed that a locker cannon was rolled in, with Four Eyes now standing on it. He lit a match as the cannon was aimed straight for the Transmutant.
"OH SON OF A B-" Junior was silenced as the cannon fired.
The campus grounds were flooded with students and staff, who stared in shock and horror as the Black University was boarded by the pirates who had just invaded. The school creaked and groaned as it sank into the earth, just like the Titanic at sea. The school sunk and collapsed as the few remaining students that were trapped in the school escaped. Everyone stared in shock, awe and confusion as the school sunk into a deep pit, with only its concrete and skeletal remains stuck out of the dirt.
The Black University began to move up the street as heavy anchors retracted back into the massive chunk of earth and concrete that the black school rested on. Everyone watched as it burrowed through the street, fading into the fog.
"What the hell was that?" asked Mosura with a stunned look.
"Has anyone seen Goji?!" asked Fluttershy frantically as she looked around. Flash panted as he staggered from the sink hole.
"He was with me but we were ambushed! I thought he got away before the school went under!" said Flash, running to the Main Six, Dazzlings, and Transmutant 4, excluding Junior. The teens all bore looks of dread.
"Y-You don't think..." Applejack looked to the sinkhole, feeling a pit form in her stomach.
"Shit, my mom's not here too!" said Angirasu with a dread. He began to run over to the pit, followed by the rest of the teens. They stopped near the edge, as some of the earth gave in and fell into the pit.
"Kids! Be careful!" called Celestia as she and Luna followed the teens.
"Do you see them?!" asked Erika.
"I can't see anything! There's nothing but rubble!" said Twilight.
"Man, no one could've survived that," said Flash with a grimace.
"Don't you say that!" said Angirasu.
"Oh God, no," whimpered Fluttershy. Suddenly, the group heard grunting. They found a hand gripping the grass from edge of the pit. Junior's face appeared over the edge as he pulled himself up. Aiko was clinging from his shoulders on his back.
"Holy guacamole!" exclaimed Pinkie. Angirasu and Celestia both helped Aiko off of Junior and onto land. Sunset and Fluttershy helped Junior to climb over. He gave a loud sigh as he panted.
"It's a miracle!" exclaimed Erika.
"Yeah, lucky me," panted Junior.
"Are you two OK?" asked Luna worriedly.
"No I'm not OK!" yelled Junior, startling everyone nearby.
"I just got my ass handed to me by those Jack Sparrow mother fuckers!" said Junior as he stood up, dusting off his sweater.
"As God as my witness, I'm gonna get those punks!" growled Junior.
"Ah you seem fine," said Aria nonchalantly.
"Mom, are you alright?" asked Angirasu worriedly, shaking Aiko's shoulder.
His mother looked to be in a catatonic state as she sat on her knees.
"What the hell just happened?" asked Aiko in a monotone.
Angirasu hugged his mother in a tight embrace.
"I will avenge you!" said Angirasu in a determined tone.
"I came to when the place was coming down. I found her in shock in the gymnasium," said Junior, rubbing his forehead, where a red mark was left.
"Um... Guys? I just realized that Rainbow Dash isn't here," said Twilight. Everyone turned to look around, only to find that what Twilight said was true. Rainbow was nowhere to be seen.
"Oh no," said Junior as he slumped his shoulders.
"You think so too?" asked Twilight as she bit her lip.
"No doubt. If these guys were committed to the pirate bit, I'd say that they took prisoners," said Junior.
"Then we gotta save them! And Rainbow Dash!" said Pinkie. She ran to the school parking lot and made her way over to a white car.
"Come on! Come on! We'll take the Rarity-mobile!" said Pinkie, pointing to the vehicle. Rarity furrowed her brows.
"Pinkie Pie, you have not asked me permission to use my mother's car!" said Rarity.
"Come on Sugarcube, RD is in trouble!" said Applejack as she began to drag Rarity to the parking lot.
"Yeah, good luck with all that," said Adagio as she began to walk off, but Sunset, Twilight and Fluttershy quickly got in her path.
"No, we need your help!" said Fluttershy as the three ushered the Dazzlings to the parking lot. Aria groaned.
"Oh come on! I don't even really like her!" complained Aria.
"Yay! Road trip!" cheered Sonata.
"You coming Erika?" asked Sunset.
"I think I'll stick around. Besides, I think I lost some stuff down there," said Erika, staring at the pit. Pinkie pointed to the Transmutants.
"You guys go get the Guardians for help! There's not enough room!" said Pinkie.
"Then why are you forcing us to tag along?!" exclaimed Adagio as the girls began to pile into the vehicle.
"Wait, it's too dangerous!" said Celestia as the car revved up its engine. The car then drove off, driving into the direction of where the moving school fled.
"I can't believe they just ignored me," said Celestia in disbelief.
"Does this mean school's out?" asked Rodan. Celestia looked at him with a deadpanned look. Suddenly, the singing child appeared next to Angirasu.
"Play Doggy~! Play Doggy~!" sang the boy. Junior just heavily sighed.
Upon the Black University, there were many hearty pirates that sang songs of victory. The fog parted as the school sailed across the streets, causing cars to crash and for civilians to flee. The school itself was dark and looked as though it was mixed up with other remains of other schools, forming a super structure. In the gymnasium, many pirates cheered as they sang their victory. They passed along food that they have plundered from other schools and soft drinks. There was a massive pile of stolen 'treasure' that they had plundered from Ponyville High, their latest raid.
"Oh my God, this is so my color!" said a pirate cheerleader as she held up a top that was stolen from the girls' locker room from their raid. As the pirates indulged in their victory, there was a throne made up of pencils resting in the center of the gym. Upon that throne sat Captain Four Eyes, the fiercest pirate of the seven streets. He bore a dissatisfied look upon his face. Queen Bee was just as dissatisfied but for different reasons, she glared at her fellow cheerleaders.
"I have trained you morning, noon, and night, for several years." said Queen Bee, with venom leaking into her voice. "But now, you retreated from a porcupine haired mutie and his pop star girlfriends!"
"B-but the mutie called us fatty-fat-fats" whimpered one of cheerleaders.
Queen Bee then grabbed the cheerleader by the throat, and began to choke her.
"If any of you were fat, we wouldn't be able to perform those pyramids we practice every week from now!" yelled Queen Bee as she choked the cheerleader.
She released the cheerleader who crawled back to the group.
"If any of you pussy out again, I will persuade the captain to call off Prom Night!" said Queen Bee in a threatening tone, the rest of the cheerleaders whimpered in fear. "And as for the mutie, if I see him again, I will cut his heart out with a SPORK!"
Queen Bee turns her attention to Four Eyes sitting on his throne, her anger quickly subsided, a seductive smirk formed on her face. She then made her way to the throne, swaying her hips in a flirtatious manner. Queen Bee leaned on his throne, admiring the bracelets and earrings that were stolen. She then notices the scowl on Four Eyes' face.
"What troubles you, my Captain?" asked Queen Bee.
"I was hoping that our latest raid would bring me more thrills. A challenge. But again, my pursuit has been fruitless," said Four Eyes with a heavy sigh. His expression hardened.
"Legend says that there is a high school student out there, as strong as a thousand men," said Four Eyes. Before he could go on, a student came rushing to the throne, wearing patchy and pre mature facial hair on his face.
"Cap'n! We have captured a stowaway!" said the pirate. Four Eyes narrowed his eyes as he got up from his throne.
"Very well. Show me!" ordered Four Eyes. He and Queen Bee were led by the pirate, coming to the Deck’e’teria', which was basically just the school cafeteria. They were led to a table, where a girl sat with her wrists bounded by rope. This girl was none other than Rainbow Dash. The girl found herself surrounded by several pirates, who glared at the girl.
"Why in the blazes have you trespassed into my school?" demanded Four Eyes.
"My name is Rainbow Dash. I'm a Junior from Ponyville High. I want to join your crew!" said Rainbow. The pirates all looked to each other in confusion, muttering amongst themselves.
"Hmm. Rainbow Dash the Pirate. Has a ring to it," said a pirate.
"She looks athletic enough to find her place among the sportsman clique," said a pirate with an analytical look. Rainbow held out her bounded wrists, revealing the brochure for the new mall.
"As a sign of good faith, I brought a recommendation for a new voyage!" said Rainbow. Four Eyes hummed as he took the brochure, looking it over.
"Hmm. Treasure Mall," said Four Eyes in interest. Queen Bee narrowed her eyes.
"Foolish landlubber! No one just gets to join our crew! You have to prove yourself as a pirate to Captain Four Eyes and myself!" said Queen Bee with a glare.
"Sure. What do I have to do?" asked Rainbow eagerly.
Suddenly, the sound of a fire truck's sirens filled the air. From outside upon the crow’s nest, which was just the school bell tower, a pirate gasped as he spotted a pair of flashing red lights in the fog.
"It's the Kraken!!" cried the pirate.
From within the school, pirates scattered throughout the building, some panicking, and other prepping themselves for battle. From the cafeteria, the pirates began to scatter.
"All hands on deck! Prepare for battle!" shouted Four Eyes. Rainbow Dash looked around with a confused look.
"Guys... It's just a fire truck," said Rainbow. Suddenly, the cafeteria wall was smashed open. Rainbow's eyes widened in shock at what had breached through. It was a large fire truck, bloody red.
"The beast is here!" shouted Queen Bee, drawing out a tennis racket. The fire truck blared its sirens as its hose-like tentacles began to spray gallons of water at several pirates. The pirates cried out as they were blasted away, soaked from head to toe. Some were even unfortunate to be ensnared by the hoses, which carried them to the grill of the large vehicle, which opened up. The pirates cried out as they were forced into the mouth-like grill, trapping them inside. Rainbow grunted as she took cover behind a thrown desk, rubbing the rope that restrained her wrist against the sharp metal edge of the desk.
"Ready the locker cannon!" shouted Four Eyes as he swatted his ruler at a hose.
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash snatched up a metric ruler from the ground. She found that a pirate was snagged from a locker cannon. The girl rushed to the cannon, tossing the metric ruler inside. She then lit the fuse.
"Fire in the hole!" cried Rainbow. The cannon fired the ruler into the front window of the fire truck, its sirens flash and wailing. It spat out the pirates it had consumed and wildly drove off in a blind state. However, it drove off the edge of the campus, falling to the street.
Down below, a couple of Purists exit out of van with pistols drawn.
"I know we're supposed to be whacking muties in the theater, but I'm too shocked at what I'm seeing," said a purist.
"And I have always loved you" said the purist next to him.
The fire truck kraken wailed as it fell upon the van. The vehicles exploded, blasting the purists away.
Back on the Black University, the pirates cheered as smoke from the "kraken" rose. Rainbow Dash found herself suddenly surrounded by the pirates, who sang their praises and lifted her up into the air. Rainbow grinned as she was carried through the cafeteria and to Four Eyes and Queen Bee.
"Shall we resume 'the test' captain?" said Queen Bee.
"No" said Four Eyes as he looked over the brochure, a sinister serpentine smile appeared on his face. "I have a better idea"
Four Eyes then turned his attention towards Rainbow Dash, his face shifting to a more benevolent looking smile.
"A glorious performance, Ms. Dash! I believe you have proven yourself worthy of our crew! What say you?!" asked Four Eyes.
"Aye!" cried the pirates in unison.
"Set a course for Treasure Mall!" said Four Eyes.
Music began to play as pirates went to their stations. Rainbow Dash found herself led to a room, where they began to hold out clothes to her.
"Do what you want, 'cause a pirate is free! You are a pirate!" said a pirate.
Yar har, fiddle lee dee~! Being a pirate is alright with me~! Do what you want 'cause a pirate is free~!" The crew sang in a chorus as the school changed its course.
The sound of a guitar filled the air along with beating drums. Rainbow Dash found herself emerging from a room, wearing a coat and a bandanna over her head. Her hair was made into a ponytail. She wore a pair of leather boots. The girl grinned as she found herself in a mirror, appearing as a true pirate.
"You are a pirate~! Yo ho, ahoy and avast~! Being a pirate is really badass~! Hang the black flag at the end of the mast~!" The crew sang as they sailed for the Treasure Mall.
However, Four Eyes noticed a school with a fancy and almost crystal-like architecture in his sight. It was a private school that he recalled being called 'Crystal Prep".
"Let's make a quick detour, mates! Lets give Ms. Dash warmed up for the big one!" said Four Eyes.
The Transmutant Four found themselves running into the lair of the Guardians. Senior turned as he noticed their footsteps.
"Children? I was not expecting you," said Senior in surprise.
"Sorry for intruding, Mr. Takeshi. It's important!" said Mosura.
"What's wrong?" asked Senior.
"Our school was just attacked by teenagers dressed up like pirates, literally sailing around town in a school! They're calling themselves the Pirates of Black University! They attacked students with rulers, and tennis rackets" Said Junior. "They made them walk a plank, an actual plank! They also used lockers as cannons, and they're being led by a DND nerd who likes throwing people out of windows. But the most important thing is that they kidnapped Rainbow Dash so we need your help!"
Senior just stared at them blankly. The teens looked at each other in discomfort.
"Dad?" called Junior worriedly.
Senior suddenly collapsed onto the ground, much to the shock and alarm of the teens.
Manda came walking by with a grimace.
"Oh Boy" she said.
"What happened?!" exclaimed Rodan.
"You see, Alpha has lived for many years. He faced many terrifying foe, and brave impossible odds. But what you told him, has been the most stupidest thing that he has ever heard. His mind just couldn't process it," said Manda, placing a pillow under Senior's head.
"What? That's a bit dramatic," said Angirasu.
"Crap. Manda, could you help us?" asked Junior.
Manda groaned as she covered her mouth.
"I would, but we had too much caviar last night. We're in no shape to help," said Manda, gesturing the Guardians who lied sick.
"Everyone?" asked Mosura incredulously.
"Yep. Now if you need me, I'll be in the bathroom throwing up," said Manda, running out of the cave.
Junior sighed in dismay.
"Great. Now what?" asked Mosura.
"It's OK. We can ask Koizumi and Inoue for help," said Junior.
"Play Doggy! Play Doggy!" The singing boy appeared next to Junior, who sighed in annoyance.
"I hope the girls are doing better than us," said Junior.
Meanwhile...
The Main 7, now 6, were sitting cramped in the car of Rarity's mother. The fashionable girl was at the wheel as Applejack was in the front passenger seat. But in the back, Fluttershy was pressed against the left side of the car, as Aria was on the right. Adagio was sandwiched between Sunset and Pinkie Pie in the middle. Twilight was tucked near the feet of Fluttershy on the bottom as Sonata was tucked near Aria. The teens were all aching from their cumbersome positions.
"Normally I'm fine being unintentionally touched by cute girls. But this isn't really doing anything for me," grunted Adagio.
"Um... Twilight, my feet are getting numb. Would you mind?" asked Fluttershy.
"Oops! Sorry, Fluttershy!" said Twilight as she raised her rear, allowing Fluttershy to move her feet.
"Yeah, could you move too Sonata?" asked Aria.
"I can't. Then my feet will be pressing against Twilight. Plus i don't have space to move," said Sonata. Aria sighed in annoyance.
"Sunset, can you move so I can..." Aria grunted as her feet grew tingly.
"If I move my face will be in Adagio's," said Sunset.
"Mm. I don't mind that," said Adagio with a sultry smile. Aria sighed in annoyance.
"Well somebody needs to move cause I can’t feel my feet!" said Aria.
"Just get over it!" scoffed Adagio.
"Hey! How about you let Sonata's fat ass sit on your feet and tell me if you don't want blood to flow in them!" said Aria with a glare. Sonata gasped.
"I'm not fat!" said Sonata indignantly.
"I can't believe we lost that thing! This dang fog!" said Applejack in frustration.
"I thought you said it was coming down here!" said Rarity in annoyance.
"Me?! You were the one driving! I thought you were following it!" said Applejack. Rarity groaned.
"How can you lose something so big?!" asked Sunset incredulously.
"I'm sorry, it didn't have fog lights attached!" said Applejack in annoyance.
"Ugh! This traffic!" cried Rarity as she honked. The car was on the road near Canterlot City, where tons of other cars were stuck, honking as well.
"Hey, at least you two aren't cramped back here! Sonata get your ass off my feet!" yelled Aria angrily.
"Be nice!" said Fluttershy in disapproval.
"You know what would've been nice? If you hadn't dragged us along to ride in a small car!" said Adagio. Sunset recoiled in pain.
"Adagio, that's like right in my fucking ear! Get off me!" said Sunset.
The girls began to get into an incoherent argument. Their voices were muffled from outside of the car, as it sat in the middle of traffic.
"Alright everyone ,shut up! Shut up!" yelled Twilight. Everyone fell silent, but still heated.
"Ok. Sonata, you can put your feet on my lap. Just move so Aria can free her own," said Twilight calmly.
"Alright," said Sonata with a pout, doing as she was told. Aria sighed in relief as she moved her feet.
"Applejack, could you turn the radio on? Maybe some music will help pass the time," said Twilight. Applejack reached for the radio and turned the dial for a station.
"I'm in the club~! My ass is thick~! Give me that di-" the song was cut off as Applejack quickly turned the station.
"Good Lord," said Applejack in disgust.
"Was that fuckin' Dwan?" asked Aria incredulously.
"Who?" The Main 6 asked incredulously.
"Oh she's a girl we knew in Applewood. She was Dagi's rival before she died recently," said Sonata.
"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that," said Fluttershy with frown.
"I'm a mean bitch~! Cross me and I'll throw you in a ditch~!" sang Dwan over the radio. Applejack scoffed as she changed the station.
"Well, I'm sure she's in a better place," said Pinkie with a smile.
"Maybe. But she was always a cunt. She probably went to Hell," scoffed Aria. An uncomfortable silence filled the car.
"Wow." Sunset managed to say in shock.
"You really didn't like her, huh?" asked Twilight.
"Fuck no," said Aria.
"I'm gonna chase you out of here~!" sang Dwan on another station. Applejack kept turning the dial, while Adagio scowled.
"Can you please find a channel that's not playing any of Dwan's songs!" said Adagio in an irritated tone.
"I'm tryin' but she's on every freakin' station" said Applejack, as she changes the dial again.
"I got a party in my pants, and I'm not afraid to show it~!" sang Dwan on another station. Adagio groaned angrily.
"I wish Dwan wasn't dead. That way I wouldn't have to keep listening to those few shitty songs she did," said Adagio.
"Don't you have anything nicer to say about her?" asked Fluttershy as Applejack kept changing stations. Twilight perked up.
"Applejack, turn off that radio for a second!" said Twilight. Adagio sighed in relief as the radio went off.
"Do you hear that?" asked Twilight, rolling down the window close to her. The girls were silent. They thought they heard instruments faintly playing.
"Oh, a pirate's life is a wonderful life~. A-rovin' over the sea~. Give me a career~. As a buccaneer~. It's the life of a pirate for me~." The sound of singing was near. "Oh, the life of a pirate for me~. Oh, a pirate's life is a wonderful life~. They never bury your bones~. For when it's all over~. A jolly sea rover~. Drops in on his friend Davy Jones~. Ohhhh! His very good friend Davy Jones~."
"Yeah I hear it!" said Sunset.
"It sounds like it's heading South!" said Twilight.
"Darling, we're trapped in traffic! How can we pursue?" asked Rarity. Aria sighed in annoyance as she rolled down her window and popped her head out. She cleared her throat as she focused on the cars in the front. She gave a distorted cry that sent sound waves that pushed cars against each other and further away. Soon the path was clear, available for their ride to hope onto the lane heading the opposite way.
"OK drive! Get in the opposite lane!" said Aria.
"But that's an illegal turn!" said Rarity in shock.
"Step on it, Rarity. Dashie needs us!" cried Pinkie. Rarity stepped on the gas and drove onto the opposite lane and turned around, pursuing the source of the shanty.
Koizumi was sitting in the back of a dark van. His eyes darted around. He then drew out a doll, which bore Aiko Riku's likeness.
"Oh Kira, you're such an awesome mercenary! So reliable! Unlike that Hayato or that child, Inoue!" said Koizumi, making his voice high pitched. He moved the doll around as though it was speaking.
"Ah well, I am pretty great. I mean Hayato's too soft. I'm the one who usually had to bail him out during our days as a mercenary," said Koizumi, talking in a suave tone. "You should be in charge of MONARCH, Kira!"
"And don't get me started on the kid. I admit that she's a hell of a shot, but she's just so damn sentimental," said Koizumi, brushing his fingers against the Aiko doll's hair. "I don't know why she enlisted at all, MONARCH isn't for whimps!"
"Honestly she should have skipped the service and went straight to house wife," said Koizumi. "Oh Kira, I'm usually edgy and tough, but you make me feel so girly!"
He sighed.
"But you're all woman. I get weak in my knees when i see you. There's something about your cold personality that gets me going," said Koizumi, staring into the dead eyes of the doll. "Really Kira! Do you mean that?!"
"Underneath, i think you're sweet and loving woman," said Koizumi. "Shut up and kiss me Kira!"
Koizumi puckered his lips and leaned towards the doll, but the van back doors opened. Koizumi turned and found the Transmutant 4 and Inoue standing outside.
"What are you doing?"Asked Inoue in confusion.
"Is... is that a doll of Mrs. Riku?" asked Rodan pointing to the doll.
"Uh...." Koizumi awkwardly looked at the doll and the teens.
Angirasu growled as he snatched the doll out of his hands, shoved it in his mouth and tore it apart piece by piece. Koizumi looked on in horror.
"Baby, no!!" cried Koizumi.
Angirasu, then glared at Koizumi spitting out whatever was left of the doll.
"Stay away from my mother! No way in hell I'm calling you dad!" growled Angirasu.
"The sad truth is that is going to be Aiko's reaction as well" said Inoue in a deadpan tone.
"At least they have something in common" said Mosura.
"Damn it. What the hell are you kids doing here? How'd you find us?" asked Koizumi in annoyance, exiting the van.
"I mean it's not hard to find a black van spying on people. Especially when you're in the middle of the forest," said Mosura, gesturing to the trees surrounding them.
"Congratulations. Now what do you want?" asked Koizumi impatiently.
"Look, this is gonna sound insane but it's true. Our friend Rainbow Dash was kidnapped by pirates and we need help getting her back," said Junior.
"OK I believe you," said Koizumi.
"Really?" asked the teens in surprised unison.
"Yep. Hearing it come from you kid, I believe it. Plus the world's fuckin weird," said Koizumi.
"So you'll help?" asked Mosura.
"Nope," said Koizumi. The teens groaned.
"Why not?" asked Junior.
"Because, pirates are lame. Cowboys is where it's at. If you were in a cowboy adventure, maybe. But now.... You're on your own," said Koizumi as he hopped back in the van and closed the door. Junior turned to Inoue.
"You'll at least help, right Inoue?" asked Junior. He noticed Inoue to be green. She cupped her mouth with a grunt.
"I would... but I had too much caviar last night. I'm not feeling well. If you need me I'll be throwing-" Inoue dove for some bushes, letting out a retching sound.
"Maybe we can contact other MONARCH soldiers to help us" said Angirasu in a somewhat optimistic tone.
"Hello, no one is available to take your call" Said a computerized voice coming from the driver's seat. "Please leave a message after the tone."
A loud beeping sound is heard.
"Hi this is Director Yoshi. I want you to know that almost all MONARCH soldiers have called in sick after eating caviar last night, including me" said the voice on the driver's seat. "If you need more information, I'll be in the bathroom throwing up. Bye."
An awkward silence filled the air.
"MONARCH! When they are not putting Transmutants in the vault" shouted Junior. "They are getting sick after eating caviar! GOD!"
Disgruntled, Junior walked off with his friends.
"Great. Now what?" asked Junior.
"I know! I heard there were some kids in this one school that fight ghosts and stuff! Maybe they can help!" said Rodan.
"Really? Alright I'll trust you. I rather not come back empty handed," said Junior.
"Play doggy~! Play do-" the singing child appeared.
"Shut up!" Yelled Junior in annoyance.
Back in the van, Koizumi pulls out another 'Aiko Doll'.
"Now where were we my love?" Koizumi said in a suave tone. "I think you should have helped those kids."
"But I don't want to fight lame pirates, I want to be with you" Koizumi argued with the doll, he turned the doll backwards as if she was huffing. "And I thought you were my big strong Mercenary."
"But I am your big strong mercenary!" Koizumi whined at the doll.
Four Eyes gave a hearty laugh as he swung his metric ruler. He found himself clashing rulers with a middle aged woman with glasses. The woman grunted as she attempted to disarm the pirate, only for her own ruler to be smacked out of her hand.
"Haha! Submit, Principal Cinch of Crystal Prep!" said Four Eyes. The woman hardened her expression as she found her school in chaos. Her students fled and were attacked by the Pirates of Black University. All of the trophies and valuables were stolen.
"This is intolerable! You ruffians will not get away with this!" said Cinch with an accent. She gasped as Four Eyes pointed his metric ruler at Cinch.
"Off the plank with you, wench!" said Four Eyes. Cinch turned and found a plank of wood, which seemed to have been drawn on by crayons to make a face was present. Cinch gulped as she was ushered to walk onto the plank. She froze, standing on the edge of the plank. Four Eyes stomped on the back of the plank, causing Cinch to fall off. She fell with a scream, disappearing from sight. However, she was seen sprinting from the school covered in sticks and leaves after walking the plank from the 2nd floor.
"Another glorious raid!" said Four Eyes. The pirates cheered as they hauled the goods back onto Black University. Rainbow Dash laughed as she carried a soccer trophy.
"Suck it, Shadowbolts!" said Rainbow. How glad she was that they stopped at Crystal Prep. She had gotten sweet revenge on the Wondercolts' rivals, the Shadowbolts.
"Are you enjoying yourself as a pirate, Ms. Dash?" asked Four Eyes, boarding the school.
"Yeah! Being a pirate is cool!" said Rainbow with a grin. Four Eyes briefly cringed with a hint of anger. Rainbow looked at him in confusion.
"Did... I say something wrong?" asked Rainbow.
"Um... worry not, Ms. Dash. Something was just on my mind. Anyway, I would like you to meet me in my quarters later. I have something to give you," said Four Eyes, walking off. Rainbow raised a brow. The Black University began to sail away from Crystal Prep, which began to sink into the earth.
Later, Rainbow Dash found herself in what appeared to be the principal's office of this school. She found it filled with trinkets and goods that were hoarded from past raids. Four Eyes brought over three long boxes and laid them on the desk. He opened each one.
"I wish to give you one of these weapons. One will define your role as a pirate," said Four Eyes, gesturing the baseball bat, made of metal.
"These items were the best from their schools. This bat for instance won its baseball team many games, becoming a symbol of luck. It great for brute force, but lacks in grace and takes up recovery time from retracting a swing," said Four Eyes. He gestured to a tennis racket.
"This racket has been durable with its netting. It has lasted for years with no sign of wearing out. It’s shorter than a bat but allows for faster strikes. However it easily gets caught," said Four Eyes. He then gestured to the metric ruler.
"The ruler. It was used by a great teacher who made sure his students passed. It is strong, used to smack surfaces to bring focus. While it is not as blunt as a bat or racket, it is swift and can overwhelm a foe with red marks. Only a master pirate can wield such a weapon," said Four Eyes. Rainbow looked to the captain in surprise.
"I get to choose one of these? They seem to have a lot of sentimental value," said Rainbow.
"Indeed. But I see a spark in you. I think you will be the best of all of us," said Four Eyes. Rainbow looked at the items on the desk. She was about to grab the bat but stopped. She glanced at the metric ruler. She then found at Four Eyes’ side was a metric ruler.
"Only the best, huh?" Rainbow grabbed the metric ruler offered to her and raised it. Four Eyes smiled, drawing out his metric ruler.
"Excellent choice. Now, show me what you got," said Four Eyes. Rainbow smiled as she matched Four Eyes’ stance. The two began to clash rulers, moving through the room with each strike. Four Eyes slipped passed Rainbow and playfully poked her back.
"Hey!" laughed Rainbow as she spun and jabbed her ruler. Four Eyes chuckled as he was poked. The two locked rulers, smiling at each other. From behind the door, Queen Bee was peeking through. Her eyes were hard as her face red.
"I gotta be honest, Cap," said Rainbow, putting her ruler away.
"I don't really care for all the trinkets and stuff. I joined because I wanted adventure. Life's too short for boredom," said Rainbow. Four Eyes chuckled.
"I understand your woe. Lately, I've grown tired of the weak scallywags," said Four Eyes, sheathing his ruler.
"There's a legend, spreading throughout the 7 streets, that there is a foe as strong as a thousand men. He holds no fear and stands his ground. My dream is to find him so that I may have the thrill of a real fight," said Four Eyes with a smile.
"Wow. What's his name?" asked Rainbow curiously.
"He is called, Gojira Takeshi," said Four Eyes. Rainbow grunted as her eyes widened and her body stiffened. She cleared her throat.
"Oh. Hope you find him," said Rainbow awkwardly. She never knew that Junior had a lot of enemies to worry about.
Junior sighed heavily as his and his friends stood on the roof of a high school. He looked at Rodan with a questioning look.
"These are the kids, right?" asked Junior. Before them were a group of teenagers. Two of them stood out the most. A boy with spiky orange hair and a petite girl with raven short hair.
"Yeah, I saw them outside my house once fighting some ghost monsters with masks on," said Rodan.
"Fascinating. You seem to have a high spiritual pressure in you," said the raven haired girl with an analytical look.
"I am a Christian," chuckled Rodan.
"Hey, is it me or does Rukia-chan look a lot like that girl," asked a red headed girl with large breasts. Mosura and the raven haired girl looked at her in confusion.
"Huh. Now that you mention it," Angirasu squinted.
"Mosu, stand side by side with her for a second," said Junior as he scratched his chin. Mosura awkwardly stood next to the girl, who glanced at her.
"Oh shit you're right. They're like a ying-yang," said Junior with a chuckle.
"Rukia, you never told us you had a twin," said the orange haired boy with a teasing grin.
"We're nothing alike!" said Mosura and Rukia in annoyed unison.
"Yeah the height difference is glaring. Pretty sure she's smaller than this girl I know," said Junior, looking to the orange haired kid.
"You have no idea. My kid sister's freaking clothes fit her," said the orange haired boy with a snicker. He then grunted in pain as Rukia elbowed him in the side with her cheeks red.
"Shut up, Ichigo!" said Rukia.
"Yeesh. Twilight doesn't do that," said Junior with a wince.
"So you guys fight monsters. Could you help us fight these pirates that are going around attacking schools? They kidnapped our friend," said Angirasu.
"Sounds a bit too wacky for our pay grade," said Rukia.
"Says the cartoon rabbit obsessed midget," muttered Ichigo, rubbing his rib.
"Come on! We should've been heading back with a team by now!" complained Junior.
"So annoying," said a boy with glasses. Junior narrowed his eyes.
"Got something to say, Four Eyes?" asked Junior.
"You're throwing grade school insults?" asked Mosura.
"Trust me, you don't want to hear his middle school insults," said Rodan warily.
"Look we would help, but we uh..." Ichigo grunted as he held his stomach. The Transmutants heard stomach growls.
"We had too much caviar last night. Excuse us!" said Rukia. The teens ran off from the roof, leaving the Transmutants. Junior groaned in exasperation.
"Are you kidding me?!" asked Mosura.
"Someone should look into the CDC for possible infections or something," sighed Angirasu.
"It’s OK. I know another group of teen super heroes who can help!" Said Rodan.
"Fine. Let's just-" Junior was interrupted as the singing child again appeared.
"Play Do-"
"WE'RE GETTING A CAT!" shouted Junior, his voice echoing from the roof of the school.
Black University was standing in the street near Centerlot High, a school located in the city of Canterlot. The locker cannons fired a barrage of dodgeballs into the school as pirates entered the school. From around the corner, the Main 6 and Dazzlings were exiting the car they rode in on. They groaned in pain as they stretched their aching muscles.
"Alright come on! We gotta get on!" said Twilight. The girls made their way to Black University, climbing the large heavy chains of the anchor. Soon, they made it on board the school grounds. Here they found the school to be three stories tall. Its dark gloomy exterior created an ominous atmosphere. The girls proceeded to make their way over to the side of the building, where a parking garage filled with school buses lied. Trey hid behind a bus and watched as the pirates pillaged.
"Now what?" asked Adagio.
"We go through the garage to get in the building. If I had to guess, they keep their prisoners in 'detention'. We just need to find their brig," said Twilight. The girls began to move through the garage, entering a door that led into the main school building. They sneaked through the halls, sticking close to the walls. Fluttershy peeked through a door's window and grasped. Through the door, there were children at elementary school age washing tons of laundry.
"Good heavens!" said Rarity in horror, peeking through another door window. She found middle schoolers and preschoolers in a room, cleaning the class room from washing windows and mopping floors.
"They're forcing these poor kids into labor!" said Fluttershy with tear filled eyes.
"Nothing we can do about it right now. We need to find RD," said Applejack.
"Gojira should be here with back up soon. Maybe then we can free them," said Twilight.
Four Eyes sat at his throne in silence. A scarlet Macaw sat on the arm of his chair, squawking while opening up its wings. Four Eyes smiled as he fed the bird a cracker. As he gently caressed the crest of the bird, a pirate came rushing in.
"What is it, Wedgie Pew? I'm feeding my Macaw," said Four Eyes. The pirate in question had his underwear wedged way over his head, covering his left eye.
"Cap'n! I've sighted a strange vehicle that had stopped near our vessel! We should be expecting company!" said Wedgie Pew.
"Hmm. The passengers may have just fled in fear. But, make sure the crew is alert, just in case," said Four Eyes with narrowed eyes. Wedgie Pew gave him a salute before running off.
The Main Six and Dazzlings continued to search the rooms of the lower of the school. They soon came across a door marked, 'detention'. Twilight turned the handle but grunted in annoyance.
"Locked," said Twilight. Aria made her way over to the handle and drew out a pin. She stuck it into the key hole and jiggled it inside. The door clicked, causing Aria to smirk.
"Got it," said Aria, opening the door.
"Aria, we're going to talk about this," said Adagio with a glare.
"Whatever," said Aria. The girls walked into the room, finding it to have been converted to a brig. There were students sitting on benches behind cells made of iron bars.
"Rainbow Dash? Are you here?" whispered Twilight.
"There's no one here with that name, dude" said a prisoner. He was sitting on a bench, wearing a trench coat with torn sleeves exposing his well-defined muscles, a pair of tan pants with shoulder pads, and dark boots. He was a handsome buccaneer, with short blonde hair and a strong chiseled jaw. He greeted the girls with a smile and point.
"What's up, dude-ettes?" greeted the prisoner. Adagio and Rarity, their faces growing flushed as they stared at this handsome boy.
"Who are you?" asked Sunset curiously.
"My bros call me, Cool Dude," said the prisoner.
"I am not calling you that," deadpanned Aria.
"Are you a pirate too?" Asked Pinkie.
"Totally. In fact, I was the cap'n of thus ship, dude," said Cool Dude. "Four Eyes was my first mate, and the girl of my dreams was my true mate, dude."
"What happened?" asked Fluttershy.
"Do we really care?" asked Aria in annoyance. She was immediately shushed by Rarity and Adagio.
"Well, it was all going well. Everyone was chill and having a good time, dude. But that buzzkill Four Eyes started a mutiny and took over! He even stole my Queen Bee, dude!" said Cool Dude, sounding 'totally bummed put'.
"Oh yeah, we ran into her," said Sonata in a distasteful tone.
"Wait, you were the captain? Then you must know how to get around this place!" said Sunset with a smile.
"For sure, dude!" said Cool Dude with a smile.
"If we let you out, could you help us find our friend? We could even return your school to you!" said Twilight.
"I'm your dude, dude!" said Cool Dude. Aria sighed in annoyance as she went over to the cell and unlocked it with her pin.
"Just don't talk so much," said Aria as Cool Dude got out of the cell, closing it behind him.
"What about us?!" asked a student.
"No buzzkills on this quest, dude," said Cool Dude.
"Don't worry we'll be back," said Pinkie as the teens walked off.
"I gotta say, you are the most bodacious babes that I've ever seen. Dude," said Cool Dude, turning to Rarity and Adagio. Rarity cleared her throat.
"It must have been absolutely dreadful, darling. And I must say, your vessel is as wonderful as you," said Rarity, batting her eyelashes. The other girls looked at her in shock.
"You kidding? This place is a d-" Aria was interrupted as Adagio covered her mouth.
"A paradise! And I'd love for you to show ME around," Said Adagio, making her way over to Cool Dude. She seductively ran a hand over her open sweater, where her perky breasts were seen behind her romper. Rarity growled as she clung to Cool Dude's arm.
"Excuse me, Adagio. But I think he would prefer the company of a refined lady," said Rarity. Adagio scoffed as she crossed her arms.
"What he would want is a woman! Not the queen of Trottingham!" said Adagio. Rarity gasped in offense.
"This is a Mid-Atlantic accent!" said Rarity.
"Ah go have yourself crumpets and tea, sweetheart," said Adagio mockingly. Rarity held in her groan of frustration, her face turning red in anger. The rest of the teens sighed as Rarity and Adagio argued.