“So how did you find out about this store?” Wild Growth asked while she followed Number Crunch. The unicorn casually using her magic to open the glass doors to the hallway that allowed shoppers to quickly travel from one side to the other of the long strip mall so they could more quickly have access to shops on either side of the strip mall.
Her mane blew back briefly from a soft rush of cool air escaping out into the warm outside until the door closed behind her crystal pony guard, who waited at the doorway to allow more space to develop between them. Wild couldn’t help but notice how much of a risk it was going into a narrow unsecured corridor with only a single guard.
“Stop it.” Number Crunch used some magic to pinch at the back of her foreleg where it met her body, interrupting her thoughts as she began to run through all the possible ways an assassin could take advantage of this location. “Stop worrying, today we’re just like everyone else, a pair of ponies— with their discrete guard, out to shop”
“I’m not worrying, I’m just confused on how you heard about this place when there’s not a single sign for it,” she protested, trying to divert attention away from her constant need to assess her surroundings.
“Word of mouth of course,” Number answered. “You know how us ponies love to talk, so why spend money on advertising?”
“Good point,” she conceded, reaching the middle of the short hallway where a single store was positioned across from a set of public bathrooms with doorless entries and drinking fountains.
Surrounding a single glass door were multiple cork boards mounted to the wall at pony height filled with foalsitters advertising their services, notices from crystal ponies willing to help with surging foals. A full board was dedicated to general parenting tips, midwife services, classes for expecting parents, and a very eye catching warning about the danger of surging crystal pony foals and the need to isolate them from other tribes until it had passed.
At least there’s no paparazzi snapping pictures of me, yet. Choosing not to jinx her good fortune, she entered into the store with Number Crunch, the door chiming gently from a small bell. Though having ridden here in her limo they were probably already hunting her down.
The store may have only had indoor access, but with the ceilings designed to accommodate humans, and with how almost everything was to pony scale it gave the impression of a larger space. A rainbow of soft pastel merchandise, from blankets to stuffed animals and saddlebags for carrying baby supplies. It had a small selection of basic but nice cribs took up a lot of room at the front of the store with a few human strollers against the wall. Those things were easy to wrap her mind around, but as her eyes wandered over the confusing mix of products making up the bulk of the store, she couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed all over again.
“Welcome!” a unicorn mare greeted warmly as she trotted past with a wheeled basket filled with items trailing alongside her with the handle engulfed in her magic, a heavily pregnant earth pony couple following her to the checkout. “I’ll be with you as soon as I can.”
“Right, thank you,” she answered the greeting awkwardly, unused to going to an actual store herself. Normally ordering things online or having one of her assistants do the shopping for her so she didn’t know what to start looking at first.
“We’ll just be having a look around,” Number added, nudging her in the direction of the cribs.
Allowing herself to be led by the slight unicorn, she did find the cribs interesting, the design was far different than what she remembered her younger human brothers sleeping in. They were designed to be close to the ground, the sides reaching up only to her eye level, and with swinging doors to provide access. A promotional flyer hanging from a bar also showed the four different models. One with no real special features was by far the cheapest. Then there were ones tailored to each tribe and the surges each foal might go through. One with a roof that could be added to keep a pegasus from escaping. For a substantial upcharge, they also made a version with materials capable of holding up to an earth pony strength. And last there was one with a special locking system to prevent the escape of young unicorns.
She did like the design of one of the cribs and the pegasus proof design didn’t make her think she was going to be putting her foal in a cage. Should she get it? Or should she be shopping around more? What if she found something else later that she liked better? There was a still a long time before a crib was needed anyways. But if she found something she liked better later she could always donate it.
“We can’t afford that!” the stallion exclaimed in shock.
Wild winced at the shout but even trying to give the couple some privacy, her ears swiveled backwards on their own to pay attention to the only noise in the room.
“I do offer installment plans, but it requires a forty percent down payment.”
“That’s still too much,” the mare answered sounding like she might start crying. “Is there really nothing you can do?”
Number gave her a knowing look as she was already turning to go over to the counter. “Sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear,” she interjected, the distraught earth pony couple turning to face her, upset that she had butted in. She was about to offer to pick up the bill for the couple when the stallion spoke up.
“You’re Wild Growth,” he gasped, craning his neck to verify her oversized cutie mark.
“What’s she doing in a baby store?” the mare whispered quickly.
“That’s me,” she nervously gave a big toothy grin, noticing how the three were already switching her from just another customer to a celebrity in their minds. And she wasn’t interested in hearing any fawning adoration or if they were of the other inclination angry denouncements. “I was just going to say, I heard that you were having trouble doing so, so I’ll cover the cost of your things.”
“You will? Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!” the mare exclaimed breaking down in tears.
“That’s very generous, Miss Growth,” the shopkeep glowingly exclaimed.
“Please,” she quickly cut off the stallion from protesting her gift. “I’m happy to help whenever I see someone in need,” Wild held up her smart watch to the chip reader. “Go ahead, charge me for their total.”
The unicorn glanced at the couple to confirm that they wanted to accept her gift, the two earth ponies rapidly nodded as though she would rescind her offer if they waited. Her account was quickly charged, and she was free to return to Number Crunch while the duo’s purchases were loaded into bags and their address taken for the shipment of their specialized crib to withstand an earth pony foal’s surges.
As the couple left with their smaller purchases, thanking her profusely, Wild caught her guard giving her a purposeful look through the entrance along with a specific flick of his right ear before it pinned back. Returning the motion, she tried not to nervously glance at Number Crunch, briefly being concerned for her safety before realizing that there likely wasn’t a threat.
The amount of ponies who warranted that kind of notice were few in number and her guard had indicated it was a pegasus that narrowed it down even further. Tonya might be seeking her out for some reason but she was known and wasn’t strong enough to cause this kind of level of warning from her guard. There were only two candidates left who traveled across the country with any regularity. One would be Sunrise Storm, who was very unlikely to ever travel to Riverview. Which left only Sapphire Sky, even if she had been politely rebuking invitations from Sunset Blessing for years.
Relaxing to pay attention to the store pony stepping out from behind the checkout she pushed the suspicious timing out of her mind. None of the pegasi who would raise an alert had an inclination to cause her harm. It paid to stay on good terms with ponies who could drop a bolt of lightning on her head.
“That was very generous for you to pay for them, Ms. Growth. So what brings you to my store today?” the unicorn asked pleasantly.
“I’m uh— that is to say—,” She stuttered, finding saying it to a random stranger to be just as nerve racking as telling her family.
“For herself, she’s expecting her own little bundle of joy,” Number helpfully answered for her and the store unicorn’s eyes lit up.
Wild grimaced at how helpful her friend was being but nodded. She opened her mouth to say she was going to need supplies for a pegasus foal but was interrupted by the shopkeep.
“Congratulations, but hold on don’t tell me— you’re having a—,” the unicorn’s muzzle quirked to one side in deep thought. “A pegasus! But I can’t tell if it’ll be a colt or filly yet.”
“That was a good guess,” she blinked in surprise even though it was a one in five chance.
“Wasn’t really a guess, my special talent is knowing what a mother is going to have.”
Wow, it sure would have been nice to know that was your talent before I pissed off a Dreamwarden earlier trying to find out. Wild kept a smile on her face but was grimacing inside.
“I noticed you were looking at the cribs first but I think you should stick with some literature to start,” the unicorn suggested, her horn lighting up and a small square shopping cart she had been using to carry things for the earth pony couple rolled over to her as she trotted over to a shelf. Her horn stayed glowing as several books floated out to show their covers to her and Number. “These are good parent primers. First is one of the most popular for ponies, So You Don’t Foal Up but we also have Uncomfortable Truths After Getting Bucked. Both have Equestrian sources and are backed up by research done with the more modern human medical instruments.”
“That sounds good,” she responded without sounding very certain as both books were placed in the cart.
“This one I have a hard time keeping in stock, so you should get one while you can,” the shopkeep levitated up one entitled Potty Training by Two Months, 12 Easy Steps. “And trust me, with a pegasus on the way, you will find messes in the worst spots while they are surging, so you’ll want to keep them in diapers early on.”
“Diapers— and— potty— training,” she said slowly, left eye twitching.
“I would recommend also getting a litter box even if you want to follow that book. I know you have a big home so your little one might find it hard to get to a bathroom in time.”
“Litter box?” Number asked for her. “Is she having a foal or a cat?”
“A foal of course! And trust me those accident pads are a waste of money. I know if you haven’t been involved with any newborn foals yet, it may sound strange to think of providing a litter box, but it’s good to give them a place where they know it’s safe to go if they need to, because there will be accidents,” the unicorn paused in thought before gesturing with a front leg towards another section. “Leashes too, most foals are going to follow obediently but they can get distracted or lost in a crowd. So you really want one and a harness to keep them with you.”
“It sounds like I’m getting a pet,” Wild remarked as she followed the unicorn. “And not like I’m having my own foal.”
“I thought you spent time with Rosetta and Phobia’s foals?” Number asked.
“It’s different when they aren’t yours, and that was back when nothing sold was for ponies, it was all human stuff,” she answered. The three night ponies had been adorable but she hadn’t volunteered to help with their care after having had to help raise her own younger brothers. “Plus they’re nocturnal, they were asleep most of the time I was around.”
“So you have some winged relatives who can give you pointers, you may not have to worry about your foal invading your dreams but you do have to worry about them taking off like a missile or walking around on ceilings while they are surging. Our newest tethers have a bungie portion that’ll soften the shock when they hit the end. You can even shorten them so if they are in a small room they won’t slam nose first into a wall and give you a heart attack. On that subject, don’t panic, pegasi foals are much tougher than they look. But all that is covered in those books I picked out for you.”
“Alright,” she nodded absently.
“Surging doesn’t last very long, do you have products that she could buy that she would need longer?” Number Crunch asked.
“Of course, we have baby monitors, diapers, changing accessories, bottles, milk pumps.”
“Milk pumps,” she whimpered and squeezed her hind legs together subconsciously.
“You alright? You’re looking a little green,” Number asked in concern.
“I’m always green,” she responded with a flat look.
“More than usual, you knew what I meant.”
“I just need to go use the restroom, don’t worry about me, I’ll be back in a minute,” she laughed nervously and quickly trotted off into the hallway. Taking a moment to breath out a sigh of relief, she almost had time to ask her crystal pony guard if that strong pegasus was still in the area before she almost had her feet tripped out from under her by a small green blur.
“Gotta go, gotta go, sorry!” the little pegasus filly called out, dashing into the bathroom, wings buzzing as though they would propel her to move faster.
“Sorry about Aurora getting underhoof, Wild Growth,” a feminine voice with a subtle musical cadence apologized though her tone sounded more amused than apologetic.
Recognizing the distinctive voice, she waved off her guard, who would move to a more discrete space at the entrance to the hall as a few humans passed by on their way to the other side of the mall. Turning to the tall blue pegasus with silver-white mane and tail, Wild gave the other mare a friendly smile.
“Sapphire Sky, I didn’t think I’d ever see you in Riverview,” she responded pleasantly, idly noticing the child carrier strapped to Sapphire’s chest. Standing next to the mare at about equal height was a handsome pegasus stallion with an unusually dark black coat and a soft mix of reds and pinks for his mane and tail.
“I wish I had come sooner, that tree you grew is really amazing. Pictures simply don’t do it justice,” Sapphire came to within a comfortable distance and gestured to the stallion with a foreleg. “I don’t think you two have met, this is my husband, Crescent Shadow.”
“That’s Skytree, and it’s nice to finally meet you in person, I’m Wild Growth as you know already,” she greeted with a shy giggle looking into his violet eyes and extending a hoof. Pictures don’t do that rare dark coat of yours justice. The last time she had worked with Sapphire Sky was on a project two years ago, her husband had stayed home with their daughter so this was the first time she had ever had the opportunity to meet him.
“Nice to meet you,” he returned with a much more noticeable accent to his speech than Sapphire and touched his hoof to hers briefly.
“I am going to have to remember how warm it is down here. It’s November and nearly seventy degrees out. If I had my full winter coat I’d need to have a cloud following me around just to keep cool,” Sapphire remarked, bringing a wing forward to fan herself. “Don’t your pegasi manage the climate at all? This humidity is oppressive.”
“She’s been drawing in cold air to herself since before we landed on the plane.” Crescent Shadow explained and draped a wing over the other pegasus.
The blue pegasus gasped and stepped to the side. “Don’t give away my secrets.”
“Then stop being overly dramatic,” he teased.
The bell on the door dinged and Number Crunch peaked her head out. “Am I missing something important out here?” the unicorn asked before stepping full out into the hall. “I’m sorry but I must interject, if you two are here to conduct business we are not handling anything of that nature today. You’ll need to make an appointment.”
“Number, I don’t think she traveled all this way just to try and bump into me on Black Friday for that,” Wild whispered to her friend, her statement being punctuated by a flushing sound from the bathroom.
“Correct, we might be here for business but running into each other was just a pleasant surprise,” Sapphire explained, but swung her green hazel eyes over to her young daughter trotting out of the restroom. “I didn’t hear you wash your hooves.”
“But mom, we’re out walking around,” the small filly whined and fluttered her wings. Wild finally got her first good look at the foal, same hazel eyes as her mother but her coat was a seagreen color that didn’t match up with either parent, while her mane and tail were a mix of silver, red, and pink.
“The world doesn’t need your help to be dirty, go wash and then apologize,” Sapphire answered sternly and her daughter grumbled but turned to comply. “If I may ask, what are you doing—” the blue pegasus took a moment to look through the glass door before asking suggestively. “In a baby store?”
“That’s because-- ,” she gulped and steeled her resolve. She had already told her family and it was going to happen eventually that the wider world would find out. “I’m going to be having a foal of my own,” she blurted out.
“Congratulations,” the two pegasi said in unison.
“So who’s the lucky stallion? He must be really handsome,” Sapphire asked, her voice full of suggestion and looking more like a giggly schoolfilly and not a mare that was almost forty.
Wild couldn’t stop her ears from drooping as she grimaced before trying to recover into the mask she usually wore when answering questions, but she wasn’t quick enough to hide it from the pair. “Some rumors about me are— true,” she added trying to sound unconcerned with what those rumors said about her.
“Forget I asked, doesn’t matter,” the blue pegasus responded sympathetically and shrugged her wings.
“What don’t matter?” little Aurora asked as she ran up to stand underneath her mother.
“Just boring big pony talk,” Sapphire replied and briefly nuzzled her daughter before sternly asking her, “Don’t you have something to say?”
The filly scrunched up her muzzle but stepped out to come a little close to Wild. “I’m sorry I almost knocked you over.”
Wild chuckled and ducked her head down to be level with the filly. “If you could have done that, I would have been really impressed. I probably would have hurt you, you’d just bounce right off me, I’m an earth pony, we’re tough like that, or I’d stomp you flat by accident.”
“Grandpa Golden is bigger than you, no way you’re stronger than him,” Aurora declared confidently.
“How big?” she asked with a big smile, noticing Number Crunch watch her out of the corner of her eye approvingly.
“Um— three times bigger.”
“Ooh, he sounds big, how many tons can he lift?” she asked, unable to keep her ego in check.
“What’s a tons?” Aurora asked and bit down on her tongue. “Is tons like,” the filly switched to singing an Equestrian word that Wild didn’t know before casually switching back to English. “Cause he lifts those all the times.”
“A ton is something really heavy,” Sapphire supplied for her daughter.
“If you’re still here on Monday, Riverview is going to have a big feast for anyone who wants to come, and it all comes from crops that I’m going to grow right then and there. Would you like to see that?” she asked expectantly.
“You and all the earth ponies are going to do a show?” Aurora asked in confusion.
Wild shook her head, grin growing bigger. “Nope, just me.”
“Nuh uh, nopony could do that, this place is too big.”
“I bet I can.”
“Mom! She’s teasing me!” Aurora whined and twirled around to run back under her mother’s legs.
“Guess we’ll have to find out Monday then,” Sapphire replied. “Why don’t you and daddy go see if there’s any stores you want to go in while I talk to these nice ponies?”
“It’s too hot,” the filly whined, mirroring her mother’s words earlier.
“Come on, perhaps there is an ice cream vendor,” Crescent Shadow beckoned and Aurora didn’t need any more prompting to take off for the outside. “Until we meet again,” the dark pony nodded in her direction before following his daughter at a more sedate pace.
Wild watched the filly wait impatiently at the exterior door, running in circles before her father arrived to open it for her. She wasn’t going to have anyone to share the burden of raising a foal unless she hired someone. Sapphire taking a seat drew her back to the moment and she did as well. This hallway seemed mostly unused so they still had privacy.
“Ice cream does sound good,” Number remarked absently.
“Number Crunch, right?” Sapphire started. “I would really like to just speak to Wild Growth, please.”
The unicorn thought it over quickly before her horn lit up and opened the door to the store again. “I’ll go inside and mention you’ll be another minute,” she explained and reluctantly went back inside.
“So?” Wild asked impatiently.
“I saw your mother’s name on the list and why she volunteered—” Sapphire paused and her eyes lowered briefly. “I have a lot of concerns about what Sunset Blessing is doing. But I really do hope that this will help your mother.”
“Thank you,” she replied after a moment of hesitation.
“You’re going to have quite the audience. All the human authorities and it seems like half of Equestria is going to attend.”
“Really? Sunset didn’t think to tell me who was going to be coming.”
“Rarity is here with a few other unicorns and one night pony, they’re trying to keep a lid on a couple griffons and a really talkative kirin,” Sapphire listed off, grimacing a little at the last one.
“I haven’t met any griffin or kirin before,” she absently remarked.
“The kirin is very nice, she just— doesn’t stop talking. The griffins on the other hoof— well let’s just say I’m happy to get some time away from.”
“They’re that bad?” Wild asked briefly in shock.
“A little of them goes a long way. They’re greedy, selfish, and somepony slipped them a cookbook and now they just want to try all the meat dishes they can get their talons on,” Sapphire finished with a little disgusted gag.
“What? It’s just meat, I had two big tarantulas last night for Thanksgiving. Phobia made them and I thought they were really good.”
“Night pony food? No thank you,” the pegasus looked queasy and waved a forehoof side to side.
Wild raised an eyebrow. "You know, you ate meat the majority of your life. It shouldn't bother you that much."
Sapphire shrugged. “I guess I did, but haven’t we all been through some big changes in the past six years?”
“Yeah—” she sighed and glanced at the store she had been in, absently shifting to rub her stomach briefly.
“It was wonderful to see you again,” Sapphire held a hoof forward. “But I really should get going, we’re due to meet back up with the Equestrians for dinner. And I’m definitely in need of some ice cream before then.”
“Yes, it was nice to see you too. We shouldn’t wait another two years to run into each other again,” she briefly raised a hoof to touch Sapphire’s.
“Send me the date when you find out, I guarantee I’ll come down south again.”
The sound of knocking made Jessie turn over in her bed. She'd only laid down to sleep a little while ago, and had been having trouble falling asleep for a nap. She'd been dozing finally and had almost been asleep before the knocking started. It was incredibly annoying.
She sat up and noticed right away that something was off about her room. It seemed like it was bigger than it should have been for some reason. There were also a lot more pictures hanging on her walls than there should have been, with even more picture frames hanging that didn't have any pictures in them at all. Why would she have empty picture frames on her walls?
The examination of her room was interrupted by more knocking. The knocking wasn't coming from outside or the front door. The knocking was coming from her closet. Looking down she saw bright light coming from underneath with shadows dancing in the light.
With this in mind she did the only reasonable thing she could do; she hid under her bed.
The knocking continued for a few more seconds and then the light in her closet shut off, leaving it dead silent and still. She stared at the closet door, holding her breath, to see if anything else would happen and too afraid to come out.
"You know, under the bed is my other entrance," came a voice from beside her.
She rapidly crawled out from under the bed and ran for her bedroom door--only to discover that there was no bedroom door. There were just four walls covered with her pictures, posters, the vacant picture frames, her closet, and the bed.
A shadow spread out from out under her bed then shifted from two-dimensional to three-dimensional as it took on a tall form that towered over her. Great batlike wings spread out from the shadowy apparition and a long sharp horn. The thing rippled and suddenly it had color and features; grey fur and a billowing green mane the seemed to blow in a non-existent wind. It was also instantly recognizable.
"Phobia Remedy?" Jessie squeaked.
Phobia looked herself over and then looked down at Jessie. "Do you think it's too much? I was trying out a new avatar form and got some inspiration from Luna's form. You also had some thought of me being alicorn-like so I decided to give it a try."
Jessie took a few deep breaths. "It's pretty, but I didn't expect you to be under my bed or in my closet. Seeing an alicorn is a little intimidating to be honest."
Phobia shrugged. "Well, that's generally where ponies expect me to enter, and I am the unofficial Queen of Nightmares. Hasn't your brother ever told you that? I guess because you're younger you might not be as familiar with the fact that I'm-- among other things-- the boogie monster."
Jessie scrunched up her nose in disgust. "You're made out of boogers?"
Phobia shifted forms again, this time to a human woman with pony ears and green hair wearing a grey dress. "Guess you never heard of the boogie monster. I suppose that's a good thing. It means you aren't afraid of what's in your room at night. I want to put you at ease though. How is this form? Is it less intimidating?"
"You're still kind of tall..."
Phobia nodded. "Let's try something a bit more personable, shall we?"
Phobia Remedy vanished and it took Jessie a moment to look down and notice there was now a grey furred-green maned earth pony filly her age sitting across from her.
"Why can't you just look like you?" Jessie asked as she stared at the seeming six-year old filly across from her.
Phobia looked herself over again then back to Jessie. "Because the dream realm is the real me. Here I am formless and shapeless beyond whatever avatar I choose at the time, with no race or species. My existence has some concept of time moving forward, but that's about the only spatial dimension I truly have. My waking body might be a night pony, but I'm a Dreamwarden, and that makes me something other than a pony. My waking body is just a small portion of my consciousness contained in a sack of flesh and fur. I have found it best over the years to remind others of that fact by taking on other forms here. It lets them know I'm not here to be some ruler of night ponies, nor are ponies my only concern."
"The alicorn thing is pretty, but think it might be a bad idea in that case," Jessie replied as she tried to adjust to the fact she was talking to an adult in a foal's body. How could something be tied specifically to only time? It defied everything she knew about physics. It was a piece of metaphysics that made her head hurt as she tried to work out the math on it.
The filly version of Phobia Remedy stared at her for a moment then smiled. "I actually have a better idea of how to put you at ease. Do you trust me to alter your dream form for this dream? I promise it won't hurt you and that I think you'll enjoy what I have in mind."
Jessie wasn't sure of anything, but she trusted the Dreamwarden. She just nodded.
There was a flash of light and suddenly she felt different and the room felt smaller. She looked herself over to try to figure out what Phobia Remedy did, but saw her same yellow fur and blue mane. Something seemed different though.
It took a moment of staring to figure it out. Her proportions were all different, and she was muscular too. Phobia Remedy had made her a full grown mare!
"I find this kind of form is popular with many foals in their dreams. They appreciate the feeling of being able to talk to me like an adult with an adult form, even if it is a passing dream. I find most foals find it very liberating," the Dreamwarden explained. "My own foals enjoy this. Charlotte even makes a game out of it where she pretends to be her mother to fool her siblings because of how similar she and Rosetta look. Rosetta will play the same game by pretending she's Charlotte. The two of them are very effective in fooling Tabby and Alfie, though they catch on to Charlotte more than they catch on to Rosetta."
Jessie barely noticed what Phobia was saying. The idea of being a grown mare was just too fascinating. Logic said that however she looked right now was probably just Phobia Remedy's best guess about how she would look like as an adult instead of how she'd actually look, but she was still extremely tempted to go find a mirror. When she looked back to the Dreamwarden she found that the Dreamwarden had traded the filly earth pony form for regular adult earth pony form.
Phobia Remedy must have known what she wanted because a moment later a tall standing mirror appeared. "Feel free to look. I'm in no rush. Time moves slowly at my command here, and I can be at more than one place at once. Take this form as a concept though, not the actual future you."
She walked over to the mirror and gazed at the mare reflected back, and it was definitely the image of an adult mare staring back at her. The reflection was still clearly recognizable as her despite the changes. She started trying to note the differences.
The first difference that stood out to her was that her head seemed like it shrank, but upon further consideration she realized her head hadn't shrunk it was just that the rest of her body was that much bigger. Did fillies really have disproportionately bigger heads than their bodies? She'd never noticed before, and it made her feel a little self conscious. She was much longer legged, but they were also wider around with toned muscles. Her mane was longer and hung loosely down onto her shoulders from her longer neck. She also noticed that her face had a slightly different shape, and her eyelashes seemed much longer as well. There was no cutie mark yet, but that was probably because Phobia Remedy didn't want to make something up.
Upon examination she decided that she was pretty, and the fact that she was pretty made her smile. The smile made her seem more pretty and for some reason gave her a strange feeling. She felt weird and didn't understand why.
"Hmm, didn't expect that. If it weren't private information I might pass that information on to your parents," Phobia Remedy said with a small chuckle.
Jessie turned her head and ears to Phobia Remedy and gave the Dreamwarden a confused look. "Didn't expect what? What information?"
Phobia Remedy shook her head. "Nothing you need to concern yourself with for a very long time yet. Just a hint of something in your subconscious that I was able to pick up. I don't feel qualified to discuss it or believe it an appropriate subject to discuss with you. Don't fear, you'll almost certainly figure it out on your own eventually."
Jessie snorted with annoyance. If the Dreamwarden wasn't going to share whatever it was why even bother mentioning it? Her brother said that Phobia Remedy did this kind of thing sometimes, and that it annoyed him too. Perhaps the reason was to make her want to try to figure it out. Things that she had to figure out on her own were more rewarding to learn than things she learned just memorizing facts. The Dreamwarden was just giving hints that there was something to figure out. She supposed that made things a little less annoying.
She'd think about it later. Right now her added height gave her an opportunity to take a better look at the oddities to her room, namely the many pictures that she had hanging on the walls here that were not there in her actual room.
The first picture she found was her gazing at the stars with her brother as he pointed out constellations. She remembered this, this had been about two years ago and it was when she first took interest in space and the idea of seeing all those far away worlds. The memory of it brought a smile to her face. That had been a special day.
Beside that first picture was the first time she had solved an algebra problem. She'd gotten ahold of a textbook that her mom had brought home and started reading it. Her parents had been so proud and amazed that she had done it, and their pride made her want to push to learn more and do more with math.
The next picture she saw made her frown. It was her first day of school. She'd started last year in sixth grade for her first year in school and some of the other foals and human kids had picked on her because she was so young. At least they had until Robby came and chased the bullies off. It was the first time she had really realized that her big brother would always do what he could to protect her, and had made her even closer to him than ever.
Moving on to the next picture she saw herself sitting with Wild Growth outside her aunties house just yesterday. Next to that was a picture of her parents and Phobia Remedy telling her that NASA and Twilight Sparkle were going to be hearing out her work. Beside these was a picture of her reading with Jordan, with Jordan giggling at the story they read. Yesterday really had been the best Thanksgiving ever.
The last set of pictures were from just today. There was her memory of sitting on top of the chained cookie jar with the demons below her ready to catch her. That had been really scary, but if she had to admit it she would do it again. Beside that picture was one of Jackie and her talking in the backseat of the car.
"I had to form this dream for you, and it pulled a lot of memories that you value and shape you into it as I did," Phobia Remedy explained.
Jessie looked at the many empty hanging picture frames. "Why are so many of them empty?"
Phobia chuckled. "Because they are waiting to be filled. You're only six, you have far more to come than what you have already experienced. Your life is just starting and many of the memories you will hold most dear won't happen for years yet."
Jessie stared out at the many frames. There were so many of them, hundreds of them. So far only a small portion had been filled.
"Now that you have finished checking yourself and the room out we should talk about that notebook of yours. That's why you wanted to speak to me, correct?"
Jessie sat down and nodded. "Yeah, I'm happy that you thought it was important, but I don't understand why."
Phobia turned and stared upwards. A second later the Dreamwarden shifted shapes yet again to what looked like the alicorn shape again, only this time without the horn. The room vanished as well and they were now sitting under a night sky sitting at the top of some chalky white cliffs with no sign of vegetation anywhere. Off in the distance there were some structures with lights on that Jessie could just barely make out.
Jessie looked around. "Where is this?"
"The distant past. Watch," Phobia ordered in a cold voice that didn't allow any questioning.
There was no telling what she was supposed to be watching. She turned her gaze to the structures in the distance since they were the only thing of note. Nothing seemed to be happening.
The air around the structures suddenly seemed to shimmer and all the lights went out from the structures. Even from the distance they were at from them she could hear a large amount of screaming. Flashes of light started happening in the distance and within seconds all the screaming stopped.
"What...?" She asked in confusion, but was cut off as everything exploded where the structures had stood and the might of the explosion blinded her temporarily. The deafening sound of the explosion made her ears ring to the point all she could hear was the ringing.
When she could see again she saw a massive wave amount of plasma extending across the entire horizon and far into the sky out into space.
Her ears flattened and she furled up into a ball and started crying. "What just happened? I don't like this. This is something bad, really bad. I'm scared."
Phobia stared out at the plasma. "You just watched a civilization get destroyed by the Devourers. They had no warning, and even if they did have warning they had no way of fighting back. This was a smaller one, but what you are seeing now are one of those flares that you've been using to track the Devourers presence. Not every one you've tracked is them doing this, but a great many are. Some of what you see in the depths of space is the Devourers ending whole civilizations; billions of lives lost."
She turned her head and looked around, tears still in her eyes. Off in the distance in different directions she saw more plumes of plasma erupt into the sky. The numbers grew so great that the plasma waves spread everywhere. Without warning they spread right over where they were and she cried out in fear and shut her eyes.
"We aren't really here. This is just a memory. I kept us at a distance from the event so you didn't have to see the full horror. We are not part of it and cannot be hurt by it, so don't give into fear," Phobia Remedy explained calmly.
Jessie opened her eyes and found they were standing within the plasma. For some reason it wasn't hurting her eyes or either of them. This was just a dream, physics didn't apply here. That calmed her a little, but she still felt her heart racing.
Still cowered where she was at as she looked to the Dreamwarden. "Why are you showing me this? This is a bad thing, a really bad thing."
Phobia Remedy looked down at her. "This is the reason your work is important. Dreamwardens remember many things, but our grasp on time when it comes to things that have long passed is heavily flawed. Your work gives us missing information about when things happened."
Jessie flicked her ears in confusion as she stopped crying. "This is your memory? How do you remember this? This had to have happened thousands or even millions of years ago. I know this is the past, but it is still really scary."
"Fear is important, it tells you there is danger; and we face a terrible danger. I'm instilling that fear in you while trying not to be too cruel about it." The Dreamwarden then sighed. "As for how I have this memory, that requires an explanation that is not important right at this moment, though we may be forced to give it to the world soon. What is important is the ramifications of what your added information has given us."
"What is that?"
Phobia looked her in the eyes. "Your equations combined with what we remember show that we don't have centuries or millennia to prepare our defenses against the Devourers. Earth's time to prepare itself is much shorter than that. They are coming, and they will be here in our lifetimes. We have decades at most to make sure this doesn't happen to us as well. You might not have realized how important what you were doing was, but you might just have helped save the world with your little project."
Her heart picked up its pounding again. "Me? But...it was just a project to show how good I am with using math applied to astrophysics."
Phobia nodded. "You definitely proved you're capable of that. You still need to do some revision and work on it, but what you have done has shown we must move on to our plan C for dealing with this threat."
"What we're plans A and B?" Jessie asked in confusion.
Phobia grimaced as she looked down at Jessie with consideration. "I'm already beyond the boundaries of what I should be explaining to a foal. All you need to know is that your work, even though you didn't intend it, is very important. There are years, perhaps decades, that we have before this is an urgent concern. I will be consulting with Princess Twilight how to proceed and how to make use of you. The Dreamwardens keep many secrets, but we do it because those secrets are dangerous things; potentially more dangerous than the Devourers. We must proceed with extreme care with what we say and what we reveal, or all could be lost before the Devourers even arrive."
Jessie flattened her ears. It sounded bad. What could be worse than the Devourers coming and doing this though? She also didn't like being told she shouldn't have details explained to her because she was a foal. It didn't matter that she was a foal if her work really was that important.
Phobia looked at her again. "I'm going to return you to a regular dream. The Devourers are coming sooner than anticipated, but we still have time. You'll most likely be grown with foals of your own or perhaps even grandfoals before the Devourers arrive. There is time yet to prepare. I'll be making arrangements to address the UN sometime after the new year. I'll do whatever it takes to save our world. You'll play your part, but I have no intention of letting you become consumed by this effort. Enjoy life, because it reminds you what we're fighting for."
Jessie took one last look at the alien sky and view of the stars. Being told that the end of the world was coming and that her work could be an important part to stopping that was no small amount of pressure. It did reinforce the idea that her future revolved around outer space--just not the way she had thought. To be able to colonize worlds there had to be people left to colonize them. There was something bad out there, and it was coming for them. The thought of it made her want to go back to hiding under her bed.
Tonya wasn't much one for going to bed early, but Melissa insisted that if they were going to have a conversation that they were going to have to have it in the dream realm. Up until recently the idea that she could even dreamwalk to Melissa seemed out of the question so she never attempted it. Dreamwalking to rehumanized humans was something she had only managed once or twice since becoming a dreamwalker, with many failures at doing it. Their minds weren't like pony minds, and were much harder to find for anyone but a Dreamwarden or someone extremely emotionally close to them. However, she had just recently found out that Melissa's mind was much more pony than human and that changed things.
She closed her eyes as she sat amongst the stars and focused on her impressions and knowledge of Melissa. If Melissa was more pony than human in her mind it should make her easily reachable.
"Well, looks like you had no issues finding me," came Melissa's voice. That shouldn't have happened unless Melissa was dreamwalking as well instead of in her own dream.
Tonya opened her eyes to see a dark grey night pony mare with a yellow mane with a streak of blue going through her mane and tail standing before her grinning. She actually knew this pony, Daylight Mirage. She had run into the pony several times in the dream realm, but now that she thought of it had never run into her in the waking world. Melissa had also taken this form when in temporary transformation, but Tonya had only thought it a chance similarity. Daylight Mirage's mane was well kept and styled compared to the messy mane of Melissa's temporary transformation, so it had thrown her off.
"You're Melissa?" Tonya asked with a few surprised blinks.
The night pony chuckled. "I'm both Melissa and Daylight, I'm no less one than the other. I'm shocked no one ever managed to figure it out before, except of course for Teddy Bear and the Dreamwardens."
"And you have been able to dreamwalk this entire time?"
Daylight flicked an ear and looked about. "It took a little while after becoming like this for my magic to grow and develop to where I could dreamwalk on my own, but yeah, I've been dreamwalking for years now. A gift from Yinyu, just like your ability."
"Was she responsible for you being a night pony mentally as well?"
"Why, yes, yes I was," came the familiar voice of the Warden of Lust.
Tonya looked up and saw the Dreamwarden swimming around them in a circle. Yinyu Wu Yan almost never took her night pony form in the dream realm, preferring the form of a fantastical multicolored seapony. The Dreamwarden would swim around through the air like it was just water. The urge to say the now defunct Oaths was still there, and Tonya had to actually bite her tongue to prevent herself from launching into saying them. Most long-time dreamwalkers had a hard time breaking their training with that.
The Dreamwarden continued to swim in circles around them. "My favorite human-night pony and my fourth favorite pegasus...maybe fifth; you're an interesting pair to see together here."
Tonya took a deep breath before answering, but Melissa/Daylight beat her to it. "Tonya was just concerned about me after what happened today. I kind of let them know about my secret after what happened with Velvet--well, the first thing that happened to Velvet."
Yinyu came to a stop and turned to them as her face went grim, causing Tonya to gulp. Seeing the usually bubbly Dreamwarden get serious was always worrisome. "I'm aware of what happened to her. Sha'am found her dying earlier today." The seapony looked at Tonya. "We were told that you are the reason she survived. Good job saving her. We also figured out that your wife's experiment is what pushed that unfortunate mare over the edge. That we aren't as happy about."
"Well, at least somepony found her in time," Melissa/Daylight spoke up.
"You aren't supposed to say somepony, say someone," Tonya scolded absently.
Daylight turned to her with flattened out ears. "Really? It's the dream realm and we're all ponies here. Do we really need to be politically correct?"
"You aren't even really a pony," Tonya replied.
Daylight huffed and glared daggers at Tonya. "I am here." Daylight then raised a wing and pointed it back at her own head. "And in here. I'm actually even more insulted having you of all ponies argue with me about me knowing what I am. Never took you for a hypocrite."
Ouch, that stung. Melissa was right, that was highly hypocritical for her to be asserting what someone else's identity was. This wasn't even the first occurrence of her doing something like this. Granted, the last time she had been right about it, but there was fairly clear evidence this time around she was completely wrong. Even if there wasn't such strong evidence it was horrible for her to make statements like that given her own personal history. Maybe she'd gotten so used to being comfortable in her own flesh she'd forgotten how uncomfortable others could still be. The failures of the experiments should have made that point, but Melissa...Daylight had hammered it in.
Tonya bowed her head. "I'm sorry Daylight. That was wrong of me, and I take it back. If you say you're a pony then you're a pony."
"She's actually pony and human," Yinyu cut in. "I suppressed the human instinct a little, but it was more turning down the volume instead of turning them off. She wouldn't be able to cope if I had suppressed them fully."
Daylight smiled. "That's true. I'm typically comfortable being human as well. The main reason I want to go full pony is Teddy Bear. If he wasn't around I wouldn't even bother. Hands are useful things. I like being able to do on my own all the things you have to get strap on accessories to do, and being able to dreamwalk as a pony scratches my pony itch. I used to desire to be one-hundred percent pony all the time, but that was before my magic developed."
Daylight--or Melissa in the waking world--had an ability to feel out a room. She could walk into a room and be able to tell the shape and feel of every object in it without even looking around or setting her hands on anything. It was a useful ability that helped her find evidence in a room quickly or determine if someone was hiding something on their person. It didn't work well outside, but it worked very well inside most buildings. It even acted as a form of magical sonar that gave her the ability to operate in a dark room as well as any night pony. It was clearly evident she could dreamwalk as well.
"Are you feeling anything at all off since the experiment?" Tonya asked. "After what happened to Velvet I worry more about you and Megan."
Daylight shook her head. "No, nothing really has changed. I'm perfectly good to go for another session. Would like to get a chance this time around to actually try out my wings. I didn't get much flight time when I was originally a pony before having to get a wing amputated."
"Um, flying isn't going to happen soon, even if we get more sessions in," Tonya said with a frown. "We still don't have a clear guide on how long the spell lasts under different circumstances. Could you imagine getting into the air and having the spell wear off several hundred feet above the ground?"
Daylight grimaced. "Uh, good point. I'd rather not have that happen. Even if I survived I've spent enough time in critical care to last a lifetime already. I'd rather not have this turn into something I need to even be able to function."
Another thought suddenly occurred to her. If Daylight was doing this to spend time with her stallion friend what would happen if she got pregnant while temporarily transformed? If this was ETS it would simply have the fetus transform with the mother, but this wasn't ETS. What seemed likely to happen is a very early miscarriage due to her body rejecting a pony fetus that happened so early that Daylight likely wouldn't have ever realized she was pregnant to begin with. That wasn't something she was completely sure on though and raised more things to be cautious and concerned about.
She turned to the Dreamwarden. "I doubt it, but any chance you could teach us how to do what you did with her? We really don't want any more depressed or suicidal subjects."
Yinyu shook her head. "I can't really explain a step by step process for what I did. It's not a spell you can replicate, and even if it was I wouldn't let you know it." Yinyu's gaze hardened as she glared down at Tonya. "Your entire filthy project makes me sick to my stomach and I can't express how unhappy I am with my inability to put a stop to it."
Tonya recoiled, taken aback. "But why? We're just trying to help people."
"Because my homeland has been overtaken by Shimmerists." Yinyu all but spat. "At first my government's support for ponies seemed great, but this isn't about acceptance--it's very much the opposite."
"Wrong how?" Tonya asked hesitantly. "I'm a Shimmerist, I don't see the problem."
Yinyu lowered herself down and flicked her tail. "They're expecting every mare over fourteen to stay perpetually pregnant and popping out foals to increase the pony population, like we exist only to be broodmares!" Yinyu spat in disgust. "My oldest isn't even fifteen yet and she's heavy with foal right now. They've completely changed the school curriculums to promote pony superiority. The things they teach her in school make me cringe. It's subtle, but it's teaching her that when Sunset Shimmer forcibly transformed others against their wills she was right."
Tonya shook her head in confusion. "Isn't most of your government still human though? How is this happening? Shouldn't everyone have heard about it by now if it's like you say?"
Yinyu growled and flicked her tail more. Tonya felt at the moment that Yinyu might resemble a dragon more than a seapony. The seapony had fangs. "Oh, they are mainly human...for the moment. They're looking to the future though. The human Shimmerists are far worse than pony ones. They're violently suppressing humans that object to the new doctrines, declaring them terrorists and enemies of China--just for publicly disagreeing with them. Not even ponies that object are free from that. They're also slowly replacing government officials with ponies as they retire or vanish."
Tonya licked her lips. "We know that things have been going towards a Shimmerist way of doing things, but I'm sure we would have heard if it was that bad."
The Dreamwarden continued to rapidly flick her fishlike tail. "They control all media and information networks in China so the propaganda is pervasive, and information getting out about what's going on is slow. I know your country has some idea how bad it is from their spying and what does manage to get out, but the public outside China really doesn't have a clue how bad it is."
Tonya and Daylight exchanged an uneasy glance. Yinyu was not happy, and when Dreamwardens weren't happy dreamwalkers instinctually desired to be anywhere but near them. What was said was unnerving as well. Hearing that Shimmerists were doing this kind of thing made her feel sick to her stomach. A pony world built on the bodies of those that disagreed was not a pony world worth having.
The Dreamwarden's eyes started to water. "I worry my own foals will get caught up in this indoctrination and look down on humans, and I fear even more they will try to pressure me to indoctrinate others." The Dreamwarden paused and then spoke in a lower voice. "I have four foals, one who will soon be a mother herself. That's leverage to use against me."
Tonya took a few fearful steps back as the Dreamwarden turned her eyes to her and growled again, much more deeply. Like a wolf ready to rip a throat out. Whatever else the Dreamwardens were, they still carried those protective night pony instincts. Threaten their families and you faced the most dangerous predator there is.
"Now you fucking Americans are working on a spell that turns humans into ponies," Yinyu seethed, teeth bared. "Do you think my government won't seek that spell out? Do you think they won't try to impose their views of the world on everyone? I'm seeing a waking nightmare play out and you're only throwing more fuel into the inferno."
Tonya cowered where she was at. "We just want to help make things better. It's for the greater good."
"The promise of the greater good is the siren's song leading to greater evil," Yinyu said as she floated menacingly over Tonya.
Daylight shuffled her hooves nervously, ears twitching as she stared up at Yinyu. "You're not angry at me for participating in this, are you?"
Yinyu turned her gaze to the dark grey pony and softened her expression before shaking her head. "No, I understand your desires. I also understand the desires of the various night pony mares like Velvet Nightshade that find this enticing as well. It's not something I can condemn any of you for. I just...I just wish the world was different. You know I do all I can to help all of you, but this is something I will not give aid in."
"Why has Phobia said nothing about how much you all don't like this?" Tonya asked, feeling a little safer now that some of the fight seemed to have gone out of Yinyu.
Yinyu flicked her tail in annoyance. "My sister is slow to speak up against her mother. She has an infuriating habit of dropping lots of hints about things but never actually speaking her mind; always trying to avoid confrontation even when she needs to lay down hard truths. She gives nudges when she should be shoving. I try my best to be nice too, but she's far too fond of her delicate ways of dealing with things."
That earned fluffed wings and laid back ears from Tonya. She didn't care if she was about to come off as rude. The days of being punished for being rude were done. "Hey! That's my best friend and my wife you're being critical of."
Yinyu floated over her while swishing her tail slowly. "I can be critical of who I wish. I don't hate either of them. Phobia and I have our disagreements about how things should be dealt with; all the Dreamwardens have our own views on things. I don't hate your wife either. I think you and she are horribly misguided, but I don't consider either of you deliberately malicious. I'm just being clear on my position. I don't agree with your project, and I think it is dangerous because of who can obtain it and use it for less altruistic reasons."
"Well, we'll just have to make sure that doesn't happen. If the Equestrians can keep a tight lid on how to do their rehumanization spell we can keep a tight lid on how to do this," Tonya said with confidence.
Yinyu gave a doubting frown. "This is outside the realm of my control. Just please, whatever precautions you already have in place need to be increased. This is not to be taken lightly. If my country gets your spell they will turn it into their method of conquering the world. The Dreamwardens can fight them at that point, but by then it might be too late."
"Excuse me," Daylight interrupted in a cautious tone. "I have a work shift to get to and I'm going to have to wake up. Am I needed for anything else?"
Tonya shook her head. "You answered my questions. I'll talk to Sunset about when you can get another session."
Yinyu crossed her fins. "You have no need to fear me taking any action against you. Wake in peace."
Without any further discussion Daylight vanished from sight. There was still things for Tonya to do before she woke again though.
"Did you wish to observe when I visit Velvet?" She asked the Dreamwarden.
Yinyu held a fin up to her chin for a moment before nodding. "I shall. I'll keep quiet and without form though. Neither of you will have any clue I'm watching. I'll have some of the others watching along as well. You're free to let her know we're monitoring your conversation."
Great, no telling which ones would be watching for sure, but she could guess that it was probably at least four out of the six. Phobia was highly likely, and Sha'am was likely already watching right now. Just thinking about the undead pony made her want to glance around to find Sha'am lurking nearby. There was no lurking involved with Sha'am though; Sha'am was everywhere in the dream realm. Death was always watching.
Tonya put thoughts of the undead out of her mind and focused on the thankfully still living. Having been a dreamwalker most of her adult and pony life she was now somewhat good at locating ponies in the dream realm. Her wife often utilized her to send communication to ponies all over the world. She could even track down the dreams of ponies she had never met with a little bit of dream hopping through a series of ponies until she located one that knew the one she was looking for. The only way she couldn't find a pony with enough time was if they really were cut off and isolated from any pony and she couldn't therefore find a relationship chain back to her; that was a rare thing, especially with how social ponies were.
Velvet was not a pony she needed to do such dream hopping to find. Within seconds of looking for Velvet she found herself outside a dream. That was a little troubling since night ponies rarely kept in their own dreams for long. Typically they might stay in them for a few minutes when they first went to sleep, but they'd leave them relatively soon after. Velvet had likely been asleep for a while now, yet she was still isolating herself in her dream. More troubling still was the darkness that swirled through the dream, marking it as a nightmare. Velvet could have dispelled the nightmare at any point, but she hadn't.
Tonya felt a bit uneasy as she looked at the dream. Dispeling nightmares was not one of her abilities, that ability was exclusive to night ponies and alicorns. Maybe one of the Dreamwardens would be nice and dispel it if she couldn't convince Velvet to do so or was unable to talk Velvet through it. If not this was going to be a very difficult session.
With little other choice she cautiously flew into the dream. Hopefully whatever nightmare Velvet was having wouldn't attack immediately.
The inside of Velvet's dream was dark, but disjointed images flashed in and out all around, memories that had been warped into things far more horrible than the actual events had been. It wasn't an uncommon form of nightmare. The most disquieting thing was Velvet was sitting in the heart of the dream enduring a terror that made made Tonya struggle not to avert her eyes from.
Small tentacles extended out from her hooves squirming and grasping at nothing. Her body was twisted and misshapen, being at the same time too long in places and too short in others. Parts of her body had fur while others had fleshy outgrowths of pale skin. Her snout was missing and had just a gaping hole full of fangs in its place making her head seem like the head of some massive leach. The night pony's wings were replaced with a massive set of human hands which were in turn misshapen with fingers that were bent in inhuman directions. The poor mare's eyes were shrunk down to pinpricks that were so barely noticeable that it might be mistaken she had no eyes. Velvet's screams of terror possessed a quality was not of pony, human, or any known animal.
This was horrible. There was no way that Velvet could be reasoned with like this. All the pony could know right now was pain and terror.
"Enough of this. It is appalling," came the most dreaded of all voices, the voice of the Warden of Death.
The nightmare came to an abrupt end. The images stopped flashing and Velvet was returned to her normal form. As the night pony sat panting where she lay Tonya gave silent thanks that Death had some mercy. Sha'am Maut was not known for her mercy, so this may only have been her acting out of annoyance, but it was a mercy all the same.
The Dreamwardens didn't do any more to make themselves known. All there was for sound was the heavy breathing from Velvet. Tonya cautiously approached the night pony, careful not to spook her.
"Velvet? It's Tonya. The nightmare is gone, you're okay."
The night pony jumped and spun around defensively. Her eyes fixed on Tonya with some recognition. "Keep away! I won't do any more experiments! Leave me alone."
Tonya held her wings forward and low. "You're safe, no one is going to hurt you. There aren't going to be any more experiments."
Velvet shook her head. "I remember it. Every time I shut my eyes I remember it. Am I dreaming? The nightmares don't stop when I'm awake. I don't know when it's a dream or the waking world anymore."
"This is just a dream," Tonya said soothingly. "The nightmare has been banished. You're alright."
"It will happen again," Velvet said as she shook. "I can't stop thinking about it. I want it to stop, but it won't."
"I'm sorry you're suffering like this." Tonya hung her head. "I know the experiment didn't go as planned, but..."
The night pony gained more lucidity at that statement and jerked her head up. "Didn't go as planned?" Velvet said and let off a bitter laugh. "Oh, that's the fucking understatement of the year. You have no idea what it was like."
Tonya raised her head up. "I dealt with dysphoria myself when I was younger. I know..."
"You know nothing!" Velvet snapped. The night pony crawled over to Tonya and Tonya took a few steps back. "You think your little bit of gender confusion has anything on what I experienced? At least you had the right limbs! At least you didn't feel like the skin on your body didn't belong! At least your senses felt like your own and not the senses of--of some monster!"
Tonya licked her lips. "You began life as a human, and spent most of your life as a human. I don't understand how this was so troubling to you."
Velvet spread her wings and growled. "Whatever life that was is dead and gone. I don't want to ever even consider I was once a human. It is something else, something not me, something wrong. Very very wrong!" The night pony folded her wings around herself and curled up into a fetal position and started crying. "I'm a pony. I'm meant to be a pony. It was so stupid of me to want to be human. I can't remember what it was like before being a pony anymore, but I remember that transformation a few days ago every time I close my eyes! I don't even have to be asleep, it is a waking nightmare. I just want it to end. Why'd you try to save me? It could have been over."
This was far worse than she thought it was. She'd attributed this to Velvet having been depressed before the experiment, but this seemed like it all came from the experiment. Tom and Amanda had signed up to do the spell exactly like Velvet had taken it. She couldn't allow that to happen. Not if it was going to possibly do this to them.
She looked upward at the empty void around them. "Can't you help her? Can't you suppress this so she doesn't have to keep suffering?"
"We could suppress it," came Phobia's voice. The unexpected sound of the Dreamwarden's voice made Velvet yelp and cower as Phobia continued on. "As can you, but it isn't a long term solution. You should know that if we fully suppress this that it will leave her still just as fearful in time, only now not knowing what demons she must fight. It wouldn't be a kindness done, it would be crippling her."
"You're a counselor, pussy-eater. Do some counseling," Ghadab's voice scorned.
"Prepare a schedule of counseling sessions and a good support system. If she needs some mild suppression to help then do so, with her permission," Psychic Calm added in.
It sounded like the whole Dreamwarden crew was here. Only the Warden of Silence hadn't spoken, and being the Warden of Silence he wouldn't speak if he was here.
Velvet growled. "You think you can help me? If the Dreamwardens can't help me what are you supposed to accomplish? Your wife is why I'm dealing with this. It's her fault! Do you think I want anything to do with you after that? Fuck you!"
"Let me try to help fix this, please," Tonya begged as she started to cry.
"You can't fix th..." Velvet began before both she and Tonya were knocked down.
"Enough!" Sha'am's voice rang out. "You fillies will work together to try to resolve this. I have no intention of seeing your mind in my bowl again anytime soon. Suicide is a disgusting act of cowardice. Night ponies face their fears, not allow themselves to be reduced to this undignified state. I have no patience or compassion for it. Resolve what is troubling you or next time you end up in my bowl you will have no comfort there."
Velvet stared for a moment up at nothing before lowering her head and nodding. The need to obey the Dreamwardens was apparently stronger than whatever fight Velvet had in her. The urge was even stronger in Velvet than in Tonya; night ponies still saw the Dreamwardens as their rightful rulers. Dreamwardens needed no authority to give orders and expect them to be obeyed. It was too well conditioned into the first generation of dreamwalkers on Earth.
Tonya couldn't help feeling anger at Sha'am's words. Not the demands that they work to fix this, but her vile disregard of how Velvet was feeling. She didn't think Phobia, Psy, or Yinyu thought that way--and couldn't be sure with Ghadab or Krik. They wouldn't call Sha'am out on it in front of mere mortals, but she hoped that they gave Sha'am the tongue lashing of her undead life in private.
Tonya cleared her throat. "Well, I'm guessing they're done talking for now. I wanted to start trying to help you. The first thing I need to address is why did you lie to us saying you weren't on any sort of medication?"
Velvet laid her ears back and gave a small flap of her wings. "I didn't lie. I hadn't started taking it yet."
There was no way of confirming that. She wished she'd taken the time to read if there were refills or if that was a refill. She'd take the night pony's word on it.
"But you knew that you were suffering from depression before you went into the experiment and lied about that," Tonya continued. "You wouldn't have had a psychiatric visit lined up so close to the experiment if you hadn't. It can take a few weeks at least after scheduling an appointment to be seen. I work in the field, I know. You knew something wasn't right."
That seemed to take the fight out of Velvet. "You don't understand the loneliness we night ponies go through. Oh, I'm sure you have night pony clients you talk to who try to express it to you, but you can't understand what it's like."
"Try," Tonya replied.
Velvet stared downward. "It's so hard to make friends. We all hate each other. Those that haven't taken the Yinyu's Blessing all hate each other because we're all competition for stallions. I don't feel really comfortable making friends with the ones that took the Blessing because I feel like they're checking me out. I know that sounds bad, it probably is, but it's the way I was raised."
"What about non-night ponies, or humans?" Tonya prompted, choosing not to comment on Velvet's mild homophobia.
"We try to make friends with the day ponies, but trying to stay awake all the time to spend time with them takes a huge toll on us--we're too wired to be nocturnal to do that without it starting to really impact us emotionally." The night pony looked up at her. "Do you know what it's like not being able to maintain any friendships or have any family? It's torture, and I've tried so hard and failed."
"You had pictures of human family hung up back at your house. Can't you get along with them?" Tonya asked.
Velvet shook her head, and tears could be seen forming in her eyes. "They're all part of that Humanity First group. They don't talk to me, won't even acknowledge my existence. I thought that if maybe I could be human again, or at least show that I'm trying to be human again, that they might start to love me again."
"Velvet, if their love is conditional on you being human that's not love you want," Tonya replied softly. "They can wish you were human and still love you, but they're choosing not to. I'm a Shimmerist, and I would never recommend a human want to be a pony just to gain some bigoted relatives' love. Them being in Humanity First is no excuse for not loving you."
Velvet wiped her nose with a foreleg. "It doesn't matter anyway. Being human again...it felt so wrong and alien. I should forget that they were ever part of my life, that being human was ever part of my life. I still don't know what to do. I'm still going to be lonely."
That was a hard thing to face. Loneliness was the bane of ponies. The instinct to be part of the herd and to have belonging was just too great. It was bad enough for a human, but for a pony it was unbearable.
"I know you're uncomfortable with the idea, but maybe it's time you just take Yinyu's Blessing," Tonya suggested slowly.
Velvet looked at her with wide eyes. "But it goes against everything I was raised to think. I can't do that, it's wrong."
"Goes against everything you were raised to think by humans who can't find it in themselves to love you because you're a pony," Tonya reminded, and turned and looked at her cutie mark for a moment before turning back to the night pony. "I know it's not the ideal solution, but you need something, and maybe it's time to break completely with how you were raised. It's time to time to stop holding on so tightly to the past, and let some of it go."
"But..."
"Which is more important to you? Holding on to the way you were raised by a bunch of people that don't want you in their life or having an opportunity to actually be happy?"
Velvet's lip trembled for a few seconds with no answer. Her expression then took on a look of resolve and she nodded. "You're right. I don't want to think about my past humanity and I need to put it behind me completely." The night pony looked up into the void. "Yinyu Wu Yan, I request your blessing."
The Dreamwarden in question appeared above them, still in her preferred seapony form, and stared down with a sad look on her face. "I can grant you what you wish, but I have to warn you that it won't make your prejudices just go away. You may have an attraction to mares after this, but your feelings about such relationships aren't going to be changed by this."
Velvet's ears sagged. "Then it's no good for me then."
"It's no good to you if you make no effort of your own to change," Tonya corrected. "My wife had the same prejudices as you, and it took her time to completely overcome them. She was a lesbian naturally and denied it her whole life. It may not be overnight, but you can change too."
"I'll still be miserable in the meantime, maybe more miserable because now I'm having feelings I feel are wrong," Velvet said with hurt in her voice.
"But you have the opportunity to have that happiness, and from what you describe and what I know about night ponies you don't have that right now," Tonya insisted. "Look, there's still a chance you could hook a stallion, but we both know how much of an uphill battle that is, and that you're in no position to present your best self. As it stands you may never be in that position."
Velvet sat and said nothing, so Tonya decided to add another point in. "And the other mares will cease being hostile to you right off the bat. Most night ponies don't have the same prejudices as you. You've made your situation worse by having them. Now you can actually form some friendships."
"If I don't make myself too uncomfortable because I'm checking them out," Velvet muttered.
Tonya groaned. "Velvet, not every mare is going to be some sex object to you because you're a lesbian. You're not going to be checking every single mare out, just like every marked mare you encounter now isn't checking you out now. We aren't all nymphomaniacs. I'm a lesbian and I never once had any interest in you that way."
"I check out every night pony stallion now," Velvet replied with a frown.
"Because you're dealing with extreme scarcity of supply and you know it. You know in your heart that if there were more night pony stallions you wouldn't be attracted to most the ones you are now."
Yinyu spoke up. "I've given my warnings, and our dreamwalking pegasus friend has given you good information as well. I don't like giving my blessing, but Tonya makes a good case. I do nothing without your choice though. Do you or don't you want my blessing?"
Velvet licked her lips. "What if I change my mind? Can I change back later?"
Yinyu shook her head. "No, I don't do this lightly, and won't have it become something ponies come back to me later asking to change again. You either do it or you don't, and you're committed to it. Perhaps you should take more time to think about it."
"That's a good idea," Tonya added in. "It's a big decision to make. Having something permanently changed about you isn't something to rush into. I shouldn't have put as much pressure on you to do so. I do think it is what's best in your case though."
Velvet sighed. "No, I'm just going to do it. I've got nothing left to lose." She looked up at Yinyu. "I want your blessing."
Yinyu floated down to her and gently kissed her on the head and gave her a tender hug. The night pony cried onto Yinyu's shoulder as the Dreamwarden held her. It was easy to forget that the Dreamwardens were capable of being kind and gentle, but Yinyu often was. The Warden of Lust seemed more subdued than she had been when Tonya first met her years ago, but imagining herself in the Dreamwarden's position she couldn't imagine being able to keep up that kind of pep. Who would want those kinds of burdens?
After a solid minute of embrace the Dreamwarden broke from Velvet and floated above them again. "It's done. I'm sorry you felt this was the only way to deal with this, and I'm sorry there isn't more that I can do for you. I hope you find some happiness." Yinyu turned to Tonya and smiled. "I'll count you as a solid forth favorite pegasus. If you ever abandon your Shimmerist views I may move you up to third."
"Who are one through three?" Tonya asked with curiosity.
Yinyu laughed. "The first is my oldest daughter, of course. Number two is Sunrise Storm, such a nice pony. Third is Rebecca Riddle."
Tonya flicked an ear in confusion. "Um, who is Rebecca Riddle?"
"A wonderful little filly with a great imagination and happy disposition. She has the most creative and wonderful dreams when she sleeps," Yinyu said, still smiling. "Sometimes the ones who are most special don't have any grand powers or political importance, but are the ones that remind us that there's good out there."
Hopefully the world wouldn't snuff the creativity and happy disposition out of the filly. It still made Tonya smile a bit that the big powerful Dreamwarden found comfort in a foal's dreams.
The Dreamwarden departed without another word said. Departed being a very loose word since Yinyu was probably still watching without form. Velvet was still sitting where she'd been and still sobbing softly. Tonya didn't say anything more to the night pony, she just walked over to the pony and embraced her. Sometimes what others needed most took no words