I was almost dancing with joy as I stood before the building in front of me. Finally, I had my workshop, located on the outskirts of town, like Sweet Apple Acres, but the opposite side of town. The large building stood around three stories high and was constructed from bricks, a rarity for Ponyville.
Heh, Rarity.
Anyway, I stood in front and gazed up in delight, knowing I would finally have somewhere to build weapons of mass destruction technology that would benefit pony society. Celestia couldn't help but giggle at my behaviour.
I was quite the happy bunny.
Though don't tell Rarity, or Fluttershy, that I think that...
Never again do I want to be dressed like one.
I still shudder at the memory of that.
"Do you like it, my little pony?"
"It looks good on the outside," I replied happily, "I can't wait to see inside."
"Then let's not stand around," she replied, walking forward, "Come on in and I'll give you a tour."
I trotted, giddy with excitement walked alongside Celestia, with Rainbow and Lyra following. All the others were busy doing fuck knows what. Come to think of it, I don't recall seeing any pony as we walked from the hotel to my new workshop. Anyway, we followed Celestia inside through the wooden front door with a side window, beside which, just a few feet further along, were two huge doors allowing larger goods or items to be taken away or put inside.
Immediately upon entering, was a small reception like area, complete with benches and a water cooler.
Did Celestia think I was going to have visitors?
"This here," Celestia began, "Is the reception room. I know you wish to recreate technology from your homeland, but I hoped you may also consider taking on commissions or providing repair service to my subjects."
"I'll consider it," I replied, "But recreating human technology is my priority."
"Fair enough," Celestia replied, "Speaking of which, are you still satisfied with the payments we agreed upon?"
As this moment got closer, Celestia and I began to talk about payment. After all, bills and food don't pay for themselves. I would receive payments from the crown to the sum of 24,000 bits per month, not including expenses. The latter would pay for parts, materials etc that I required for my work, which would be paid for with credit, then I would fill out an expense request to Sunbutt, which would, hopefully cover everything. Anything that wasn't, would be paid for out of my own pocket.
I had already made requests with regards to metal working machines, tools and supplies, to get me started. I think the initial cost of those those things alone was around 50,000 bits. What the warehouse and refurbishment cost I have no idea.
"Where's the living accommodation?" I asked.
"Upstairs," Celestia replied, walking over to a doorway, "On the top floor. Follow me, my little ponies."
We followed her up a flight of some stairs, up to the top floor, to my new home. Celestia opened the door and we walked in. The apartment had hardwood flooring and an open kitchen and lounge, with windows giving panoramic views of Ponyville. The kitchen was fairly modern, even by Earth standards and boasted some cool tech, and the corner sofa and mahogany coffee table helped give it a real homely feeling.
"There's also three bedrooms, the master room en-suite," Celestia continued, "And a separate bathroom."
"What do you think Vlad?" Lyra asked.
"Looks great," I replied, "Finally a place to call home.....well, sort of."
I winced slightly at the mention of home, being reminded of no longer being able to see England or Russia again hitting me hard.
"You OK Vlad?" asked Rainbow.
"I'm fine," I replied, lying.
"There's is no need to pretend Vladimir," Celestia replied, walking over an wrapping a wing around me, "We know how much it hurts."
You've no idea how much it hurts, lady!
"I'll be fine," I said quietly.
"Course you will," Rainbow boasted confidentially, "You have us!"
Celestia let go and almost immediately, Rainbow and Lyra hugged me, much to my consternation. I looked to Celestia for assistance, but all she did was hold back a giggle.
"Aren't you going to hug us back, Vladdy?" Lyra asked.
"No I am NOT! I'm a Russian, I don't hug."
"Yeah, sure you don't," Rainbow replied, nuzzling me.
"We're not letting go until you hug us back, Vladdy," Lyra cooed, nuzzling my other cheek.
If it weren't for the horn blocker I'd remove them easily, but alas, my magic has been growing more unstable, but according to experts I should be able to get it under control within a few weeks.
With Twilight's tutoring.
Something I'm not really looking forward too.
Reluctantly, I wrapped my forelegs around them.
"Aww," Lyra cooed, "He's such a sensitive stallion."
I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, yeah, enough of this mushy stuff."
"And remember," Lyra continued, "After a hard days work getting messy with machinery, you can go with Rarity to the spa to freshen up."
My face went beat reed with embarrassment, "I don't know what you're talking about."
"We know you go with Rarity and Fluttershy to the spa," Lyra answered smugly.
"No comment."
"We'll take that as confirmation," Rainbow answered.
"Anyway," I continued through gritted teeth, "Could I see the actual work shop now? Please?"
"Of course," Celestia replied, "Follow me."
We followed Celestia once more back down the stairs to the hallway, turning left down the corridor. Celestia stopped before the door and held out a hoof.
"You first, Apollo."
I said nothing and instead stared at Celestia for several seconds before replying, "There's lots of ponies behind that door isn't there?"
"Errr..."
"And they're going to yell 'surprise' as soon as I flick the lights on?"
"Well..."
"I thought I made it clear that I hate parties."
"Pinkie insisted," Rainbow replied, "You know how she gets."
"She really needs to learn how to take 'no' for an answer."
"But-"
"I'll put up with it," I replied, cutting off any response, "But I'm going to introduce myself to them....my way."
"How are you going to do that?" asked Lyra.
I removed my horn blocker and lit up my horn, grinning devilishly as I did so, "Like this."
*PERSPECTIVE SHIFT*
Inside the main workshop of the warehouse, several dozen ponies stood in darkness, awaiting the moment the lights came on. At Pinkie's insistence, many of the town's prominent ponies, including all of the elements, Applejack included, waited.
"How long is he going to be?" asked Pinkie.
"Not too much longer," Applejack replied, "He came in with Rainbow, Lyra and the Princess just a few minutes ago."
"Well I hope he doesn't take too much longer," Pinkie whined.
*PERSPECTIVE SHIFT*
I moved silently in the darkness. Creeping in the shadows between the assembled ponies, none of them aware of my presence. In doing so, I picked up on the conversation involving Applejack and Pinkie. The latter being unsurprisingly impatient.
Since that incident with Applejack, we have managed to be on cordial terms. I gave back the money she was to pay me, I wouldn't take money from her when she has a family to provide for. She refused at first, being too stubborn to accept help, so I bought a fuck ton of apples.
We've barely talked over the last few weeks, but at least we're not at each other's throats any more.
"He won't be much longer Pinkie," Applejack said, "Just sit tight, you'll be able to party soon. But if you make too much noise he may hear us and ruin the surprise."
"THAT WOULD BE AWFUL!"
"PINKIE!"
*PERSPECTIVE SHIFT*
"For Celestia's sake!" Rarity whined, "How much longer must we wait in this dark and dingy warehouse? My new dress is getting all dirty."
No one bothered to reply, instead they continued to wait patiently for the door opening.
...
...
...
...
...
...
"BOO!"
*PERSPECTIVE SHIFT*
Outside, Celestia, Lyra and Rainbow waited outside, their attention soon focussed on the screaming from within.
Curious, they opened the door and stood open mouthed at the sight. Ponies were running in all directions around screaming their lungs out, except for the other Elements, while Apollo stood smugly in the centre, looking very pleased with himself.
Celestia walked over, putting on her best 'disapproving mother' look.
"Apollo Belvedere!" she said sternly.
*PERSPECTIVE SHIFT*
I looked up, and my satisfaction vanished as soon as I saw who was coming towards me.
Oh fuck....
Five minutes later, after everyone had calmed down, I was standing with the Elements in front of Celestia.
That was after getting a telling off for scaring everyone.
Totally worth it though.
Even if I did have to go to another tea party.
In 'appropriate' attire.
As I said though, totally worth it.
"Well, my little pony," she said, looking down to me, "As promised, your workshop. Here, you can recreate the wonders of your homeland."
Talking about wonder of my homeland, I showed Twilight all the gadgets and how they worked. She hasn't tried taking them away again, I think, but she's at least stopped referring to my former self as 'the monster'. To my knowledge, she, and Applejack, are still none-the-wiser as to my real identity. Evidenced by the fact that Twilight is still looking for leads to my whereabouts.
If that makes sense.
Anyway, Celestia continued.
"I'm sure that all the ponies of Equestria and beyond will benefit from your brilliant mind, and I know that many will look forward to the wonders you will recreate."
There was a sudden stomping of hooves in applause.
Except Twilight, who just rolled her eyes.
Honestly, I feel as though I could recreate the Saturn V rocket, launch it and it still wouldn't convince her that I know my shit.
Meanwhile the ponies went about helping themselves to the food on show, whilst the Royal Sunbutt walked over to me, smiling happily.
Is she always this happy?
"How are you faring? My little pony."
One day I will clock her in her pony tits if she calls me that again.
"I'm fine, just eager to get started."
"That's understandable," she replied, still smiling, "Though I do hope you take part in the occasion."
"I would if there was booze."
"It's only 9am," Twilight remarked.
"So?"
"So?" Twilight repeated, "That's far too early to consume alcohol."
"No it's not. It's never to early to get pissed."
A sudden forced, but quiet coughing could be heard from a big white pony, who was also frowning at me.
Rolling my eyes, I couldn't help but let out a groan of frustration, "Fine. I won't drink at this time."
"Ahem," Celestia replied, her frown indicating she was waiting for something.
A let out a deep sigh and stared out ahead of me, "I'm sorry for using a naughty word."
"I accept your apology," Celestia replied, giving me a kiss on the forehead, before walking away.
Now I was alone with Sparklebutt.
"Twilight," I said, not particularly wanting to be with her right now.
"Apollo," she replied awkwardly, ".......how are you?"
"Fine."
...
...
...
...
"I'm sorry about what happened by the way."
"Forget it," I replied, "It's in the past. So long as your brother stops abusing his authority, I'll be fine."
"Don't worry about that, Cadence will make sure of it."
I shuddered at that mare's name.
Don't let her prissy looks fool you, she's a vile, evil demon who will make you suffer greatly if you piss her off.
"Speaking of Cadence," Twilight continued, "She was asking if you wanted to attend any of her tea parties in the future?"
"I've been 'invited' by Celestia," I replied through gritted teeth.
"That was for scaring everypony. Cadence's invitation is different."
"I'll consider it, but no dresses!"
"She'll be disappointed, but won't force it. Unless you start swearing again."
I scoffed loudly, "Why do ponies have such a fucking problem with my fucking swearing? What's the big fucking deal?"
Twilight just looked at me like I'd taken a massive dump on her books, "Because it's not nice to hear."
"So?"
"So?!" she spluttered back, "Just don't swear!"
"I can swear all I fucking want."
"Such uncouth language!"
I turned around and saw the demon fashionista approaching, scowling at me.
"Twilight darling," Rarity said, approaching her friend, "Is Apollo causing you problems?"
"Not exactly, but he is swearing again."
"I see," Rarity replied, turning to me and looking quite scary, "Apollo?"
"Yes, Rarity?" I replied, trying not to sound like I was about to shit myself.
"Stop swearing."
"Why-"
"Or would you prefer to have full makeover at my boutique?"
That sounded fucking horrendous.
I shook my head vigorously.
"Then stop your brutish swearing! Or else, stallion or not, you will be modelling my new lines. Is that clear?"
I nodded my head. I knew better than to piss off Rarity.
I still intended to swear like a sailor in my workshop though.
"Excellent," she replied happily, giving a flick of her mane, "Come on then darlings, we can't stand at the side now and ignore everypony."
Twilight joined Rarity, quickly walking alongside. I decided to remain where I was, having no interest whatsoever in mingling with the others. Sadly, Rarity had other ideas.
"You too, Apollo," she replied, lifting me up with her magic and carrying me through the air.
How the bloody hell can ponies eat so much sugar and not suffer ill effects? There tables piled high with iced cakes and muffins, fondant fancies, iced doughnuts and so on. Did diabetes exist in Equestria? And talking of cakes, Celestia can put them away like I do alcohol.
I'm surprised her flanks aren't bigger than they already are.
But don't tell her I said that.
The consequences would be...dire.
Anyway, the party was in full swing, with most ponies asking me what all the equipment did. I'm glad there was a protective spell over them. I don't want to be scraping icing or frosting off of the machines before I can begin work.
I did try explaining, but every answer seemed to sprout more questions.
It's like trying to talk sense and reason to a jobsworth traffic warden.
What a bell-end he was, giving an ambulance a ticket for being on double yellow lines, despite the paramedics attending a call. Some people are so devoid of intelligence it makes me wonder how they survive day to day.
Anyway, back at the party and I was trying to keep myself to myself, a task far more difficult when you're surrounded by fluffy ponies with no concept of personal space.
And brains the size of walnuts.
Seriously, how hard can it be to understand what max q is? Or the difference between an inlet manifold and an exhaust manifold?
Do these ponies not learn anything at school?
Apparently not.
I'm pretty sure half the words I used they'd never heard of before.
Though on the plus side, all of my talking stopped me from having to eat a dangerous level of sweet treats.
Equestria better have some strong whiskey.
If not I'll make my own.
Anyway, the almighty Sunbutt was walking over to me. The assembled ponies parted like the Red Sea to allow her through, looking delighted at being so close to their beloved dictator princess. I honestly don't know what they see in her. She's just a glorified cake addict.
"My little ponies," she said serenely, "Are you all enjoying the festivities?"
The little ponies all happily replied they were. I remained silent.
Guess who noticed.
"Apollo," the cake addict said, "Are you not enjoying yourself?"
"I'm fine. Why do you ask?"
"You look bored."
"So?"
"Do you not like the party?"
"Does it matter?"
Celestia looked slightly taken back by my response, but why I couldn't say, "No....I suppose not."
There were several seconds of awkward silence as none of us did anything or say anything, until Celestia herself broke that silence, "Well, I shall leave you all to enjoy yourselves."
Celestia left us, something clearly bothering her.
The 'party' wrapped up around 1pm. All that was left behind now were the leftovers and a lot of mess. At least Spike and the girls stayed behind to help clean everything. Fortunately, nothing had gotten inside or entangled with the machines in the workshop.
Cleaning took nowhere near as long as I thought it would, thanks to Pinkie who made light work of it.
She actually enjoyed cleaning up.
She is most definitely a strange one.
Anyway, cleaning was done in under half an hour, so we all went up to my new apartment above the workshop and settled down for tea and biscuits.
"This is a nice place you have, Apollo," Fluttershy said, sitting herself down on the sofa.
"Aye, it's nice to have a place of my own instead of a hotel room. I can actually cook my own food now."
"What will you cook first?" asked Rainbow.
"A big, juicy steak."
Apart from Rainbow, Pinkie and Fluttershy, the others went a pale shade of green.
"Why do you enjoy eating animals?" asked Twilight.
"Because they're delicious. Besides, how is it any different from animals eating animals?"
Twilight went to answer, raising a hoof to make a point, but lowered it again when she came up short.
"I don't see a problem with it," Fluttershy added.
"Thank you."
"But you're eating the flesh of another animal," Twilight needlessly pointed out.
"So? It's not my fault they're so tasty and delicious."
"But-"
"Just drop it Twilight," Rainbow said, coming to my defence, "Pegasi regularly eat fish but nopony else ever complains about that."
Twilight began scowling, clearly not liking having her own way like she probably has done every time in the past.
"So Apollo," Rarity began, "What will you build first?"
"Well, first I would need to have specific components made, but my first intention id to build an internal combustion engine. The only problem I have I finding a fuel source."
"What would you use as a fuel source?" asked Rainbow, "Can't you use coal?"
I shook my head, "Not for internal combustion. I need a liquid called petroleum, or another liquid called diesel. It shouldn't be too difficult given that you refine crude oil anyway for heating oils and bitumen."
"Do you know how to refine crude oil that way?"
"I know how, but I've never done it personally. But I'm sure your scientists would be interested in learning how."
"I'll talk to Princess Celestia," Twilight said, "She might be able to arrange a meeting."
"Thanks, it'll help. Now, who wants tea?"
Finally, peace and quiet.
The girls had finally left, leaving me on my own.
It was almost 5pm and I was starving, so naturally I went over to the fridge and took out a 14oz beef prime steak. Salivating just at the sight of it, I took it over to the kitchen counter and began to season it with black pepper and my own secret mix. Soon, I placed it in a pre heated pan on the hob and waited. I popped in some roast potatoes in the oven too, which apparently, could properly cook them in about ten minutes.
I doubted it, but I'd believe it when I see it.
Next were thee vegetables, already cut but just needed putting into a pan to boil.
Just one thing was missing.
Whiskey.
On a trip to Manehattan, I found a shop run by a Griffin that sold all manner of booze from stout ales to all manners of Scotch whiskeys. Needless to say, I bought quite a bit and the owner signed me up to his store membership scheme, meaning I get discounts on what I buy.
That day alone I bought several litre bottles of The Famous Moorcock and Blair Athol, which had uncanny similarities with The Famous Grouse and Grant's.
Not that I care.
Or the Griffin owner, who was over the moon at meeting a pony who could drink.
I spent that much on booze he gave me a complimentary set of whiskey glasses and decanter, and recommended a friend of his for a drinks cabinet.
That drinks cabinet now sits with pride in my front room. Filled with over two dozen bottles of whiskey, brandy, liqueur, gin and vodka.
All of it really good.
Probably because none of it is pony made.
Not that I have anything against the fluffy friendaholics, but they just don't know how to make good booze. They may sell other nations booze, but they don't make their own. At least, they don't make what I would consider to be booze.
I poured myself some whiskey, on the rocks, and went back over to the pan and turned the steak over, having seared it nicely on one side. I seasoned the new side like I did the other and waited until it was equally seared. Medium is how I like my steak.
Minutes later I walked over, steak and whiskey in my magic and sat down at the table, ready to indulge in a meal I haven't had in weeks.
*PERSPECTIVE SHIFT*
In the private quarters of the castle, Celestia was resting her head on her forelegs, looking down in the dumps.
"What troubles you, sister?" asked Luna.
"It's Apollo."
"What of him?"
"He seems....unhappy."
"How so?"
"Earlier today, at the opening of his new workshop, he didn't seem to enjoy the festivities, and showed a small degree on anger when questioned as to why not."
"Not everypony enjoys parties, Tia. I don't."
"But I feel there is something more to it."
"You are too sensitive, Celestia. You are just taking his reaction to heart to much."
"Perhaps."