It's not time yet...
Not time yet...
There's still a chance for you.
Still a chance...
Still a ch-Snap out of it!
Rusty blinks a few times, shaking his head lightly to pull himself from his thoughts. He looks around the room he's been living in these last few days, trying to make sense of it all. These thoughts keep coming out of nowhere. He swears he up and down that he can remember these words, this voice, coming from somewhere. He just can't remember where, or who, he heard them from. It seems so distant, but it feels like it's important. Like it-
I'm gonna go ahead and stop you now, cause staring at the wall got boring after the first hour.
A sigh escapes Rusty as he stands up from his borrowed bed, making his way out of the room and down the stairs leading into the boutique. He can hear two voices from below as he descends and enters into the shop, soon spotting Rarity and Starlight sitting at a table. He stops just as he's about to round the corner; their voices were hushed, but he could easily pick up on the hostility in them.
"I am not throwing him out!" Rarity hissed in a voice just above a whisper, nearly slamming her hands against the table as she glares daggers at the unicorn sitting across from her.
"You don't even know who that is!" Starlight countered, pointing a finger toward the ceiling. "It could be a rogue changeling! Or even Chrysalis in disguise! You can't trust him!"
Why am I not surprised that it's her who is suspicious of us?
"If it really is Ryan, then how come the princesses haven't found him, huh?" Starlight continued to argue, clearly stuck on the idea that the human was dead and that Rusty was some sort of copycat.
"That stone! Around his neck! Did you forget about about that?" Rarity defended, refusing to believe a word that came out of the purple mare's mouth.
"Do you really expect me to believe that Ryan-"
"Rusty!" Rarity corrected, leaning over the table a bit.
"RYAN!" Starlight announced in spite, following the other mare's example. "Got a shadow stone, one of the rarest stones in Equestria, the exact moment he died!?"
That's a damn good argument...We sure we aren't dead? Cause this could be Hell.
Rusty nodded and looked toward the front door, thinking it best to leave now and let them hash this out on their own. He took a slow step forward, trying to keep as quiet as possible. As fate would have it, he wasn't careful enough because that first step came during a period of silence and the floor was happy to announce it's new visitor. He came to a stop at the creaking of the floor, already able to feel the eyes on him.
"Rusty!" Rarity said in an almost panicked tone, standing from her seat and turning her back to Starlight. "Terribly sorry, darling. I hope we didn't disturb you."
Rusty bit his lip before turning to face his friend, putting on the most neutral expression he could muster. "No, not at all. I was just about to head out for a bit."
"Oh, where are you heading?" Rarity asked as a look of concern crossed her features.
Rusty shrugged at the question, not having a particular destination in mind. He just wanted to get out of there before an actual fight broke out. "Just felt like going for a walk. You know, stretch my legs a bit."
Rarity nodded, content to believe his words. "That's fine, I suppose. I don't want you to feel trapped here or anything." She giggled a bit, but mostly to hide the dread that was starting to build up in her chest. "Before you leave though, I have something for you. Wait here." The unicorn walked off, but continued to speak in the distance.
"I took the liberty of making you another set so you won't have to walk around in the same dirty clothes every day." Rarity called out from the other room, returning shortly with a clean shirt in her hands. "Don't worry, I didn't change the look or the design, I just want to be sure you're not out and about in your own filth." She held out the new shirt, which was identical to the one he was wearing. "I'll need some time to finish the pants, but you should have five sets of the same thing now."
She knows you too well. Don't need anything flashy, just looking to grab the next set on the rack. Should have had a kid with her.
Rusty ignored the voice and took the new shirt, offering a smile in return. "Thanks, Rarity. You really didn't have to."
"I beg to differ." Rarity responded as she crossed her arms and scrunched her nose. "You've been wearing that one for so long it's starting to smell."
"Sorry..." Rusty's smile was a bit forced, feeling a little self conscious now. He turned around and pulled off the shirt he was wearing, keeping it locked in one hand as he went to slip on the other.
"Goodness..." Rarity placed a hand to her mouth as she muttered this, looking over the human's back.
Rusty's body tensed as he felt something touch his back. The world around started to blur, making it hard pinpoint where he was. Out of nowhere he is filled with something he hadn't experienced in a long time. A certain kind of hatred started to fill him. He felt hot as his mind and soul become overwhelmed by a burning, seething rage. The world slowly became clear again and everything around him was different, but disgustingly familiar.
Flames, a burning home. A burning in general. He looked down and saw that his shirt was on fire. He quickly grabbed the offending material and ripped it in half, tossing aside. At any other point in time, he would have been scared. Not now though. All he feels right now is the same burning fury, hotter than the flames surrounding him. "Come on! Burn motherfucker! Burn!"
Rusty's words were not his own. They left his mouth on their own accord. It felt so right, despite how much it killed him inside. He looked around, trying to find something, anything to make this feeling go away. He spotted an old couch, burning in the center of the home he once called his own. In a fit of rage he marched over to the piece of furniture, grabbing onto it. Summoning a strength he didn't know he had, he lifted the object and charged it into one of the burning walls. The weakened structure crumbled and gave away from the force of the impact, causing several bits of drywall and wood to fall down on top of it.
The man stumbled back to avoid the debris, tripping over his own feet and falling onto his back. A growl escapes his throat, the sound of sizzling piercing his ears as his bare skin meets the heated wood, feeling the burning of his own flesh. The pain was surreal. It was there, but not as intense as it should have been. Not like how he-
"Rusty!"
Rusty took in a sharp breath of air, feeling as though he'd been underwater for too long. He felt wet and breathless. His body was covered in sweat, the glazed over look in his eyes fading slowly as he came back to reality. Looking around, he saw that he was still in the boutique, safe and sound. His body relaxed and his breathing slowed. He turned and his eyes soon met with unicorn still standing behind him, who was staring at him with worry.
"Are you alright, darling?" Rarity asked, placing her hands on his face. "You're burning up! We need to get you to bed!"
Before she could start to drag him off, Rusty grabbed her hands gave her a reassuring gaze. "No, it's fine. I'm alright. I just need to go out and get some air." He quickly slipped on his new shirt, dropping the other one to the floor and throwing up his hood as he left the boutique.
Rarity watched him leave, unable to say anything. If Starlight had managed to put even a shred of doubt in her mind about Rusty, which she hadn't, it would have been null and void now. That massive scar said it all. It came as a bit of a shock, having not seen the damage inflicted on him from behind. All she saw were the burns on his arms after he came out of the hospital, but those had been mended and mostly healed with magic. She could only assume that on his back one was far too severe to simply vanish. It was discolored and rippled oddly, giving it an almost mutated appearance. It makes her heart ache to think back on that day. In her eyes, that was the day where everything seemed to go downhill.
Remember that song? That one called 'Losing our mind'?
"Shut up..." Rusty growled to himself, walking down the street at a brisk pace as he tried to control his breathing and relax his mind. These flashbacks, if that's even what they were, were starting to become troublesome. He's had them in the past, but never have they been so consistent. It's like everyday now his mind would drift off to another time. Some of them were pleasant enough. Others, however, he'd rather forget.
The mid-morning air helped to ease some of his tension away, the warmth of the sun bringing him some level of comfort as well. It was enough to keep him from noticing the awkward looks being shot in his direction. It's not like any of the ponies would be able to make out his features beneath his hood anyway. If not for his human appearance, he would make the perfect gray man.
Lost in his thoughts, his body moved on autopilot. While his mind idled his legs carried him to a rather familiar place. The unmistakable scent of fresh baked goods and coffee beans hit him seemingly out of nowhere. Without even thinking, he turned on his heels and walked up to the small shop, stopping just shy of the door.
Well, if it isn't Doughnut Joe the coffee hoe...
Rusty's mind came back to him as he peered through the glass. The establishment wasn't busy per se, but there was enough in there to keep the stallion behind the counter occupied. The counter was empty, which was normal from what he could remember. Most ponies avoided it after a few threats were thrown their way. It made him a bit uncomfortable to see first hand how well that stuck.
A sense of nostalgia washed over him as he recalled how often he would visit this place. It felt like only yesterday he-
Ryan held his hands over his face as he dragged his feet behind the purple mare leading him through town. The man groaned to himself as his head pounded, sending wave after wave of agonizing throbs straight to his brain. No words left his mouth as he blindly followed Twilight to wherever it was she was taking him. His head hurt too much to care at this point.
Twilight glanced back at the human rolling her eyes at his struggle. "You know, this wouldn't have happened if you would have stopped when I told you to."
"Stop...Talking...Horse woman..." Ryan grumbled as he trudged along behind her, noting that this was the first time he's done this without staring at her rear.
Oh my god, you're so annoying!
"My talking would have spared you the hangover and the waking up on somepony's roof if you'd just listened." Twilight countered, finding the human's antics less than amusing.
"Why is she still jabbering?"
Shut your fuckin' cocksucker, nerd!
Ryan dragged his hands down his face, wincing at the rays of sunlight that immediately assaulted his eyes as a result. "Fuck you, sun! You plasmatic asshole!" This earned him a few looks from the surrounding ponies, who quickly looked away as he turned to meet each individual gaze with a vengeful glare. "That's right! Eyes to your fuckin' selves."
The populace was still unfamiliar with the human man and thus didn't look to start conflict with him. The rumor that he ate ponies only seemed to drive it home. It started a result of Rarity's sister hearing him talk about how he was an omnivore and then followed that up with a rant on how he saw no problem with killing animals that weren't sentient, although he would have liked to try dragon at some point.
I imagine it would be like eating lizard, but tougher.
Ryan froze in place as an alluring scent greeted his nostrils. He sniffed a few times, trying to pinpoint the source. Twilight somehow noticed the lack of foot steps behind her and looked back to find the human standing in place, sniffing the air like a dog.
Twilight shot him a curious look before turning around to walk back to him. His behavior was nothing short of strange at any given moment, but she found this to be much more peculiar. "Is something wrong?"
"Shush!" Ryan said, holding up a hand as he looked around. "Your mouth is fucking up my chi."
"Y-your what???"
Ryan's hand moved on its own, pointing to the side, away from where they were originally walking. "This way..." His legs moved much more smoothly, guiding him toward the smell at a rushed pace. "Almost there..."
Marching down the road with Twilight in tow, his feet refusing to stop until he found what he was looking for, Ryan spotted a number of ponies leaving a small shop. The steaming cups in their hands were all it took to make him start moving at a light jog, nearly kicking down the front door as he charged in and shoved a pony off of the stool by the counter.
Ryan didn't even wait for someone to say something, "Next one to stand in my way is getting eaten!"
I'm still amazed he didn't just throw us out.
Rusty let out a defeated sigh, feeling a certain amount of resentment for himself. Part of him just wanted to turn around right now and walk away, but Joe was his friend despite his many faults. He deserved to know. The man weakly pushed the door open and walked in, slipping his hands into his shirt pocket as he found a seat in his old spot and settled in.
Joe noticed the newcomer right as he sat down, finishing cleaning a coffee mug before approaching him. "Welcome to Doughnut Joe's!" The stallion greeted him with a smile, apparently not bothered by his appearance. He really is too good for this world. "Can I start you off with something to drink?"
Rusty kept his head down for the most part, not wanting to startle him right off of the bat. "Coffee, please. French vanilla creamers."
"Coming right up!" Joe turned away for a moment and grabbed a clean mug, filling it with with the dark, steaming liquid before grabbing a small bowl with the requested creamer packets. He set the bowl and the mug in front of the man, leaning against the counter as he did so, regarding the customer with curious eyes. "You new around here?"
Rusty pulled his hands out of his pockets and grabbed a handful of the creamers, setting them down beside the mug. "Technically no, but also yes."
Joe wanted to say something, but spotted the furless hands reaching out. A knot formed in his throat as he watched the appendages move, routinely opening the packets and pouring them into the coffee. "So...You're uh..." The stallion pressed on, trying to keep the conversation going despite the hallucination he was clearly having. "You're from here then, right? You left then..." His eyes locked onto the hooded figure's face as it looked up just enough for him to see beneath the fabric. "you...came back...Oh, sweet Celestia..."
After a brief adjustment period, consisting of mostly silence aside from the occasional sipping from Rusty slowly working on his beverage, the human assured Joe that he was very much real and still alive. Hours passed them by in minutes as man explained himself, stopping every so often so Joe could cater to other customers, which he did hurriedly so he could continue to listen to the story.
Rusty told him everything from the moment he jumped off of that cliff to the time he jumped off of a moving train, after his little revelation, to get back to Ponyville not too long ago. Joe listened intently, silent as the grave as the human spoke. There was some tension on the stallion's end when he realized that the human might not know about his offspring. Rusty cleared that up for him, taking the stress off of his shoulders.
With most everything being covered about his journey, how he'd remained hidden and how he got back, there was only one thing left on Joe's mind. "What's your plan then?" This earned him a curious look from the hooded man sitting front of him with a now empty mug. "What are you gonna do now that you're back?"
Rusty caught his lip in his teeth as he thought it over. "My original plan was to make amends. Try to right some of the wrongs I did then maybe hit road again and keep doing what I've been doing." He leaned back in his stool as he thought about how there was now so much more that needed to be done. "I don't think I can do that now though...No, now I need to make a new plan. I figure I settle myself in, do what I came here to do, then try to restart my life and do right by my daughter."
Hearing this warmed Joe's heart. He never thought Ryan was capable of feeling complex emotions, but this showed the stallion that he cared. Ryan- no, Rusty- wants to do things right and he would be damned if he didn't give him his good graces. "If that's the case, then I'm right behind you. If you need anything at all, just ask."
Rusty smiled as he gave Joe a genuine look. "You really are too good to me. I never did anything to deserve you."
Joe just shrugged, "What are friends for?"
Rusty nodded, "What are friends for..." Something in him sparked at that moment. A sort of fire, but much less vengeful. In a way, he felt empowered. Determined, if you will. "I hope you don't mind..." The human rose from his seat and stepped out from in front of the stool to move behind it. "I've been homeless for a little over a decade now and I can't offer anything for the drink."
Joe rolled his eyes and picked up the empty mug with a laugh. "Congratulations! You've robbed me of one cup of free coffee. Whatever will I do?"
Rusty laughed a bit in return, backing away from the stallion he could happily call his friend. "You'll never catch me alive!"
Joe watched his friend turn around to leave, but stopped him as he opened the door. "One more thing..." The human stopped at the door, looking back at him curiously. "Good luck, Rusty."
The fire in him grew stronger at those words and that only pushed him harder to do what needed to be done. "Thanks, Joe." Rusty exited the shop and marched back to the boutique, more determined than ever. He knew in his heart what needed to be done and he was damn-well gonna do it. Tonight, if possible. "I have to do it. And I have to do it now."
You don't mean-
"Oh, but I do!" Rusty announced aloud, not caring who heard him. "This whole time I wanted to do things right so that I could feel better. So that I could sleep soundly at night." Whatever resentment toward himself that he felt started to fade away. As the self-hatred left his body, something new took its place. "This isn't about me anymore. I'm not gonna go around trying to do things right for myself when there are more important things I need to look out for."
I'm sorry, but are you fucking mental?
"I might just be." Rusty's mind did little to deter him. It's words were nothing at this point. All he could see were flashes of the life he missed. So many moments he'd never get to experience with the one who needed him. He wanted to do this more than anything. He NEEDED to this!
For his friends...
For Azure...
We are going to die!
Rusty shrugged at this, seeming not to care. "Then so be it."
The boutique was in view now and the fire didn't get any weaker as he all but kicked the door open and looked around for his friend. "Rarity! Where are you?"
It didn't take long for him to hear the unicorn running through the store. Rarity rounded the corner and entered his view, a look of panic clear on her face. "I'm here!" She yelled, coming to a stop just inches from him. "Is everything alright? Did something happen?"
"Where is she?" Rusty asked, not wanting to waste another second.
Rarity's panicked expression melted away as confusion took hold of her. "Where is who, darling?"
"You know who..."
This is all it took for the message to sink in and her panic was quick to return. "Oh. Oh, no, no, no. It's way too soon."
"Daddy!" Azure bounded around the corner and ran up to the human, quick to grab onto his waist and pull herself into his side, staring up at him with pleading eyes. "Daddy, I need to talk to you."
"Azure, please!" Rarity interjected, trying to keep her focus on the issue at hand. "Rusty, I don't think you're ready yet. It's far too early to see her."
Rusty wasn't backing down, this was going to happen whether his friend wanted it to or not. "I need to see her now."
"Daddy!" Azure chimed in once more, "I need to-"
"Azure, stop!" Rarity snapped, earning a glare from the filly, which she ignored. "You said that you wanted to take this slow, didn't you? I don't know what you did while you were out, but you're not thinking clearly right now. I believe it would be best if-"
Rusty clapped his hands together hard, the smack of his palms meeting being loud enough to make both ponies flinch. "Where. Is. Dash."
He's looking for her? He's looking for her! This is our chance!
Azure broke her hold on her father's side and eagerly raised her hand up high in excitement. "I can take you to her!"
Silence ensued as Rusty looked down at Azure, regarding her curiously. He looked back at Rarity, her eyes were begging him not to do this. Not yet. He sighed, keeping his gaze locked on the mare in front of him. "If I don't do it now, I might never do it."
Those words echoed in the unicorns head, sounding all too familiar. He said something similar the day she finally got him back. 'If I didn't do this now I don't think I ever would have.' It still felt wrong for this to happen now. He'd been so adamant about wanting to take this slow and she had already eased him into speeding things up as is. But this was different. This is Dash.
Rusty looked back to his daughter. He reached out and grabbed her raised arm, lowering it as he wrapped his fingers around her small hand. The filly felt her heart skip a beat as her father held her hand for the first time, bringing a new level of joy and happiness to her heart that she never thought possible.
Uh...Uhhh!
Rusty looked down at Azure and smiled a smile that made her heart ache. She looked up at him, mouth slightly agape as her fingers tightened around his hand in return. "Lead the way, baby girl."
I think I'm gonna be sick...
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-
Azure's breathing picked up immensely as happy tears formed in her eyes. Before anyone could so much as blink, she charged for the door, dragging her father along with her as she led him out of the boutique and into the streets. The size difference made it a little awkward for both of them, but that didn't matter. Not to either of them.
Rarity ran toward them, stopping at the door. "Rusty! Please, wait!"
By the time she had yelled this, they were too far to hear her. Rarity could only watch in horror as the pair ran down the road. Fear and panic met in the middle and formed a pit unlike any other in her gut as they fled. With no other plan and no way to catch up, she did the next best thing.
Rarity slammed the door behind her and took off running down a different road, having forgotten that rapid movement might make her sweat. "Twilight!!!"