Sarah Gem was a hybrid girl
She'd play, she'd sing and then she'd tease her dad
(tease her dad)
Now with her friends by her side
They went to work for T.U.F.F.
And they're all doing secret agent stuff
They are T.U.F.F. Humans
They are T.U.F.F. Humans
Nine friends who sticks his smarts right where he knows the crooks will be.
They are T.U.F.F. Humans
They are T.U.F.F. Humans
(electric guitar plays)
Tonight we were at the a concert for a performing band called the Hunky Monkeys. The name is really weird but to be expected, they're a group of three singing monkeys and apparently they were quite popular here in Petropolis. Kitty was screaming, hurting our ears, "Never do that again." Rantaro said. "I can't believe we're seeing the Hunky Monkeys in concert. How'd you get us great seats, Chief?"
"I blew the entire Tuff budget. Business is useful instead we won't have heat or running water. And instead of high tech weapons, we'll have to use pointy sticks." Chief said.
Dudley, on the other hand, had very different feelings, "I Hate The Hunky Monkeys. They think they're so cool. Just because they have opposable thumbs and they can sing and they're really good dancers and they have their own submarines which they can drive because they have opposable thumbs. I wish I were them!"
Jack sighed, "Oh relax, they may not be that bad."
"Well if you don't Like the band, why didn't you s-s-stay back at Tuff?" Keswick asked.
"It's cold at TUFF. The Chief didn't pay the heating bill." Dudley replied.
"Hey you want heat or Hunky Monkey T-shirts!?" Chief asked.
The announcer came on, "Put your hands together for the tire-swinging sillian sounds of the Hunky Monkeys! Huge banana comes and peels and hunky monkeys come out. Bingo, Bango, Robespierre."
Bingo said, "Aw, this one's for you girls." and he points to the audience. "Yay!" Chief said.
"And the weird old dude he likes us." Robespierre added. The Chief gasps, "That's me, I'm Famous!
Dude, You're A Girl
But That Don't Mean A Thing Cause You're A Dude Girl.
Dude Dude Girl Girl
Suddenly, Dudley starts howling."Dudley, Stop Howling!" Kitty said.
"I can't help it! It's like they're stabbing my ears with musical knives." Dudley exclaimed.
"Pipe Down. I didn't sell the TUFF Space Shuttle in yard sale so you can ruin this concert. I love you, Robespirre!" Chief said. I awkwardly stared at my friends and they just shrugged.
Third Person POV
Birdbrain and his henchmen were in the his helicopter, "Before we carry out today's diabolical plan, I'd like to introduce you all to our newest henchman, Ewe." Ewe was a sheep.
"Me?" Zippy asked.
"No!" Birdbrain said.
"Who?" Owl said
"Ewe." Birdbrain said.
"Where?" Bat asked.
"There right next to the duck!" Birdbrain said. His heachman ducked, "Don't duck ohh!!! On with the plan. While Locating My FaceBeak Status To "Still Unbelievably Single", accidentally discovered a parallel universe where all blue bottomed boobies are perfect." He showed hologram of the universe. "There it it, the blue bottomed boobieverse AKA The boobyverse and once I'm there, I have none of my courage for shortcomings. I'd be able to fly, properly refold a map and sleep through the night without laying an egg. I'd be a superbooby."
"Then how are you gonna get to the Boobyverse, boos?" Zippy asked.
"The harmonized sounds of a band called the Hunky Monkeys create a sonic portal to other dimension." Birdbrain said.
"Really?" Zippy asked incredulous.
"Once I capture them and amplify their sound, I'll be able to cross over to the Boobyverse!"
"Can we come with you?" Zippy asked.
"Well as non-boobies you'll be instantly vaporized so the answer is Yes!" and he hugged his henchman, "please come along."
In the concert, the Hunky Monkey's were still singing
I call you dude cause I don't know too many bigger words girl
Big words they hurt my head
Kitty, Keswick and the Chief were screaming in joy as well as Kaede and Carrie. "Are yo two seriously cheering for them?" Jack asked.
"Girls, always love boy bands." I replied.
"That is a fact." Ren stated.
"AAHH!" Dudley cried. "I can still hear the music. If only I had opposable thumbs, I'd stick them in my ears!"
Jack, Rantaro and Jamie had the same feeling cause they were covering their ears as well. "This is ridiculous!" Jack exclaimed.
"You've never been to a concert, have you?" Ren asked.
Dudley grabbed Kitty and Keswicks' shirts and literally stuck them in his ears and sighed in relief.
Well cause you seem like a girl
Suddenly the ceiling burst opened and Birdbrain and his henchman came in on ziplines and grabbed the Hunky Monkeys' "Oh no! Birdbran's trying to steal the Hunky Monkeys'." Kitty cried.
"I've got T-shirts in my ea-ears." Dudley cried. Kitty pointed him towards the Hunky Monkeys.
"Help." Bingo said.
"Help." Bango added.
"Help." added Robespierre.
"Girl." They all said. Ren and Kitty blasted the ropes and they all fell to the ground. "TUFF is at the concert. Retreat!" Birdbrain called.
"Who?" Owl said.
"You!" Birdbrain exclaimed.
"Just the sheep?" Zippy asked.
"No, follow me." He ran and the audience started following him. "Not you! You're the audience." He and his henchman ran away. Kitty and the rest of us walked up to the singing group. "We're TUFF agents and you're gorgeous. I mean, are you alright?" Kitty asked.
"And don't sing the answer." Jack added.
"We're alright thanks to you girl." the trio sang.
"GAH! What did I just say?!" Dudley exclaimed.
"For some reason, Birdbrain is after you guys. We need to take you back to TUFF where you'll be safe." Cheif said. "and cold."
"So we're gonna bring three pop stars to the agency where our girls are going gaga over them. What could possible go wrong?" I said sarcastically.
"Come on." Keswick said. He ran away and the audience follow him. Okay, how dumb is this audience? "Not you! You're the audience. Honestly."
"Welcome to TUFF, Hunky Monkeys, I'll install some swings so you'll fell right at home." Chief offered.
"I though thought went broke when you bought the tickets." Kitty pointed out.
"I didn't buy the tires, I took them off the TUFF mobile." Chief said. We looked at the TUFF mobile which fell apart. Really? Just how desperate was he?
"Guys, can you think of any reason why Birdbrain is after you?" Kaede asked.
"Ha probably because we're really good singers and dancers." Bingo said.
"And we have our own submarines." Bango said.
"Which we can drive because we have opposable thumbs." Robespirre said.
They all sang, "Hey."
"Make it stop!" Dudley, Jack, Rantaro and Jamie cried in unison.
"Don't worry guys, we have a h-h-high tech security system. No one can get in. You won't be able to get out unless I let you." Keswick said with a giggle. Jack leaned over to him and whispered, "Tile it down, nerd."
"Ah! The Hunky Monkeys are gone!" Kitty cried. We turned and saw the three monkeys missing. "Yes." Dudley cried. "Uh, I mean what a terrible tragedy for the music business and mankind in general. Who wants cereal?"
"Me!" Jack said.
"Hey, they left a note." Keswick picked up and it read, "Girl and Weird Old Dude, we've been kidnapped by Birdbrain."
"What happened to our high tech security system?" Kitty asked.
"Blew it, tickets." Chief stated.
That's when Birdbrain appeared on the monitor. "hahaha, I'm back!"
"Are you going to tell us why you stole the Hunky Monkeys?" Carrie asked.
"No, I called to report an accident. I crashed my Whirly Bird at the corner of 5th and vanue."
"He was texting while driving." Bango said.
"If you haneous harmonious didn't open a portal to an alternate dimension where I have hair. I would have nothing to do with you!" Birdbrain stated.
"Baaa?" Ewe asked.
"Who?" Owl added.
"Don't start with me!" Birdbrain cried.
"Wait, what was that about an alternate dimension?" Keswick asked.
"Oh yes, I'm moving to the Boobyverse and the sound of these monkeys are going to get me there. Birdbrain out!" The monitor cut off.
"We have to stop him. If someone leaves one dimension and enters another it d-destorys the universe they leave behind." Keswick said.
"WHAT?!" We all cried.
"Please tell that doesn't apply to us!" Ren said with worry.
"Don't be r-r-ridiculous. Sarah's father is way to s-s-smart for that."
"How do you know her dad?" Kaede asked.
"We used to go to college together." Keswick answered.
"You were in college with him?!" I exclaimed in shock.
"Guys, focus!" Jamie said. "How do you know it will destroy another universe?"
"Well the story beings long ago in an alternate universe called Keswakia, which no l-l-longer exists." Keswick said. "But you can;t pin that one me!"
"Actually we can." Nicole said.
"Be quiet, women!" Keswick exclaimed.
"Agents, grab your pointy sticks and get moving." Chief said.
Third Person POV
"We'll never sing for you evil bird, girl." The Hunky Monkeys said in unison.
"I'm a boy bird, and you just did. Now you'll sing even louder!" Birdbrain said and he pressed some buttons on a keyboard and the collars shocked the Hunky Monkeys."Ow Ow Ow Girl!"
"The portal should be open. Where Is It?"
"The GPS said it opened in the middle of Mr Wongs' Chinese Buffet across town." Zippy said.
"Everyone grab a monkey and some tokens." Birdbrain took out a bus schedule. "According to the bus schedule if we take the No 2 Bus at 3rd street, we'll be there in 20 minutes. That is if there;s no construction and we catch all the lights. Hurry we only have till five."
"Is that when the portal closes, boss?" Zippy asked.
"No that's when Mr Wongs' closes. I want to grab an order of shrimp rolls before I blow this dimension."
We were all in the TUFF Mobile when the Chief called us. "Agents, we just received intel that the portal has opened up at Mr. Wongs' get over there and stop Birdbrain, or as fast as you can go on one tire."
"No problem Chief, Sarah replaced them with her magic, Hit it Dudley!" Kitty exclaimed Dudley slammed on the gas and we zipped over to Mr. Wongs' Chinese stores. We all burst through the door. "Freeze Birdbrain. If you got through that portal, it'll destroy our world!" Kitty said.
"As long as I get my shrimp rolls, I don't care. What's the holdup Wong?" Birdbrain said.
"You keep yur shirt on, Birdbath!!" Mr Wong, a goose, said.
"I'm going through the portal and there's nothing you can do to stop me." He pressed the keyboard, shocking the singing group." OW!"
Suddenly, Dudley started howling and it started to shrink the portal. "Oh no, you're doing something to stop me. That howling interesting with the bands' harmonious sonic wave!" Birdbrain cried.
"That's it, Dudley keep howling!" Ren stated.
"Like I can help it!" Dudley cried and he howled again, shrinking the portal some more. "I have to go it's now or never for me!" Birdbrain said.
"Who?" Owl asked.
"I'll miss you least of all, Owl." Birdbrain leaped for the portal, giggling."
Birdbrain laughs, but the portal closes, causing him to slam into the gong. "Alright, you did it, Dudley!" Keade said. We put Birbdrain and his henchman in the TUFF van so they could be taken to prison. "Are you guys busy Friday night, I mean, are you okay?"
"Oh brother." Jack groaned.
"We're all good that to TUFF and we know how to thank you guys for saving us." The Hunky Monkeys sang and so we were back at the concert.
Dude you're my girl but that don't mean a thing that you're a dude girl
Dude dude girl girl
I call you dude cause I don;t know to many bigger words girl
Big words, they hurt my head
"This is our thanks! Front row seats to another concert!" Dudley exclaimed.
"Hey, how come you three aren't covering you ears like the last time?" I asked, Jack, Jamie and Rantaro.
"Eh? They aren't so bad after a while." Jack said.
"I have to admit, I agree, even though this is another waste off my time." Rantaro said. That's when another portal opened. "It's Chieftopia! I've gotta go there. I'll finally be tall!"
"Chief no, you'll destroy the world!" Keswick cried.
"I know, but I'll get to ride the big kid rides." Chief leaped for the portal.
"Dudley, start howling!" Kitty cried.
"Like I can help it!" Dudley cried and howled, closing to the portal. "Darn it, I was so close!"
Dudley was slamming his head on the stage. "Make it stop!" Then he starts to remember something, "Oh, you know these guys aren't back. Oh that's right it's the Hunky Donkeys I hate. I love you Robespirre!" Dudley grabbed the boys and they got on stage, singing and dancing along.
(Hunky Monkey, Dudley and the Boys)
Because no matter what you look like
I got a frank that you're a dude (dude, dude)
"Well you do have that mustache." Dudley said. We all did a freeze frame with the Hunky Monkeys'.
Late at night, I was with Dudley who was busy playing a game when the cat brat got in the way, "Look out, Kitty! Seriously, look out! You're blocking the monitor!" The brat blew Dudley a raspberry and the monitor showed a game called Chicken Zombies. Okay really, chicken zombies that sounds so lame and childish. "Game on, chicken zombies! You are dead white and dark meat!" he stated waving the controller, punching the chicken zombies."You can't eat my brain, chicken zombies!"
This is so stupid why I am here late a night you ask? Because newbie wanted me and the gang to stay in case something happens. I would have said no but the newbie pulled her puppy-dog eyes on me. That's the one thing about the newbie I hate, she uses to cuteness to her advantage. Bleh. She's worse than Ren's pegasus girlfriend.
Anyway, the nerd came in wearing a headgear controlling his eyes for some odd reason. "Nerd, what the hell are you wearing?" I asked.
"What d-d-does it look like, Jack. It's a head set that makes my e-e-eyes blink." Keswick answered. Then his werido machine only made one eye blink. "Whoops! I accidentally set this thing to "Creepy Wink", and it's m-mah-making me look a little crazy." he reset it to normal blink. "There. That's not creepy at all."
"Yes, yes it." I replied.
"Anyway, Agent Puppy, you're brain you ne more a l-l-light snack than a meal." Keswick answered.
"Just like Jack's brain." Kitty said.
"Hey watch it, brat!" I exclaimed.
"Jack, calm down." Oh great. I turned around and saw the newbie and the others. That's when a mailwomen, which was a dog came in holding a package, "Package for the Chief." The Chief came up, "Yay! It's the electric salad spinner I ordered!"
"Aren't you getting a little carried away with the online shopping, Chief? You don't even eat salad." Kaede asked.
"No, but I do love to spin it!" Chief replied and he turned on the salad spinner, "WHEEEEEEE!" He got bits of salad on me and the cat brat while Dudley had gotten the high score on his game, "YES! I did it!" he dashes over to Kitty and I who were picking salad bits off of ourselves. "I am now the official champion of Chicken Zombies 2. THE PECKONIIING! When I log in my score, I'll be famous! You know, among a small group of people who don't have jobs and live in their mom's basement!"
Dudley prepares to log in his high score, but static appears on the screen; is shocked: Bird Brain appears on the screen briefly after, "It is I, Bird Brain, broadcasting to you live from space to unveil my most evil plan yet!"
"Who?" Owl asked.
"Me!" Birdbrain exclaimed
"Where?" Bat asked.
"In space! And you all wonder why I hired my new henchman - Duck!" Birdbrain said. Owl, Bat and Zippy duck, "Don't duck! That's his name!" Birdbrain said.
"Hurry up, Bird Brain! I still have to log in my high score!" Dudley stated.
Bird Brain: "Oh, yes. Sorry. Um, where was I?" Birdbrain said.
"In space, boss. You just said so." Zippy replied.
"You want me to cut the cabin pressure again?! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?! Anyway, I'm going to disable all technology on Earth, including electric salad spinners!" Birdbrain exclaimed
"NOOO! You madman!" Chief cried, upset.
Bird Brain: Yes! And once that's done with, I will control all cell phone plans in the world, and here's the really evil part - I'll be charging you all a slightly higher rate with NO family plan discounts!." He laughed evilly. "In a matter of seconds, your technology will be rendered useless, like my henchmen." We saw Owl, Bat, and Zippy outside the ship. "How did you even get out there? I child-proofed the whole ship!" Birdbrain cried and he activated the technology disabling device; power stars to go out. As well as the T.U.F.F Headquarters; power is slowly going out: Dudley, Kitty, Chief, and Keswick scream in terror.
"AAH! I need to log in my hig score! (stops) D'URRH! My mind froze! How do I spell my name?! WHAT IS MY NAAAME?!" The power went out, leaving us completely in the dark. "NOOOOOOOOOO!!"
"Calm down, brat!" i exclaimed. Newbie used her magic to create some light for us while the others used scented candles. "Ah, that's better. We're all doomed, but at least the room smells like spiced pumpkin."
"GAAAH! My eyes are stuck open! Oh, I guess I p-puh-picked a bad time to peel an onion!" Keswick said.
"Why are you peeling an onion?" Nicole asked.
"How am I suppose to k-k-know, women!" Keswick exclaimed.
I noticed Dudley's eyes watering, "Dudley, you better not be crying about your high score?"
"No, I just picked a bad time to peel an onion, too. Oh, right! My high score! No one knows I kicked all that chicken zombie butt! I'M NOTHING NOW!" He fell over and curled up into a fetal position. I face palmed. "Crybaby."
"We've got bigger problems. Without technology, the world is plummeting into chaos! Look outside! Cars aren't working, the bridge is stuck, and that plane is suspended in mid-air! What's gonna happen to those poor people when they run out of peanuts?!" Kitty asked.
Suddenly, a rock hits Keswick in the head!
Keswick: "Ow! A rock!"
I caught the rock, "It's a message from Bird Brain! "Dear T.U.F.F, my power is out and I'm being pulled towards the sun! Help me!"
"Why would we help Bird Brain?" Chief asked. Then another rock hit Keswick on the head, "Ow! Another rock!" Kaede caught this one, "Because the only way to restore Earth's power is to fix my device and reverse the pulse! Sincerely"... a thir rock his Keswick, "Ow! Stitches!"
Dudley: We have to get the power back, Kitty, or I'll never log in my high score! Did I mention I'm nothing now?
Keswick pulled out a chalkboard, "If my calculations are correct, the sun's rays will vaporize Bird Brain in about 45 minutes."
"Well, even if we do recover the device, how do we turn it on without power?"
"I may have something that can help us; a safely made-power source, and by that, I mean dangerous and completely illegal."
"Illegal?!" We all exclaimed.
"Where'd you get something like that?"
"Well, I certainly didn't trade samples of your DNA to an alien race for it, if THAT'S what you're thinking!" Keswick said, defensibly and laughed nervously.
"The power source is in my lab. Come on!"
"Man, things have gone downhill here fast." Dudley said.
"You said it! Things have gone so bad, everyone's paying for office supplies with shark teeth, which is making it very hard for Agent Hammerhead to eat his peanut brittle." Shark tries to eat peanut brittle, but fails. Okay, that's the second weirdest thing I've seen, next to newbie. We all spotted the power source which was an orb with a pink glow in the middle, "There it is!" Keswick said.
Dudley grabbed the power source: traps activate in an Indiana Jones fashion; Dudley successfully dodges the traps, "I got it! It was next to this paper that says "Planet Keswick"! What's that?"
"Well, that's not what the Earth will be called once the aliens take over, if that's what you're thinking!." Keswick said defensivley.
"What?" I deadpanned. Okay, now he's the third weirdest thing.
"You all better get to that ship! Things are getting prehistoric fast down there!" Chief said. In the city streets, there are bonfires lit, everyone's acting like cave people, and a dinosaur is on the loose. Ridiculous, ain't it?
"Come on, Dudley! The power source won't last for long! We've only got 10 minutes!" Kitty said. Dudley grabbed the power source, "Great! That's just enough time to finish heating my burrito!"
"Idiot!" Newbie cried as she grabbed Dudley, he manages to grab his burrito on the way out. We all take the T.U.F.F Shuttle into space to get Bird Brain's ship. "There's the ship!" Kaede called. "Activating, shuttle claw!" Kitty said. The claw gabbed hold of Bird Brain's ship, "Now, let's get this ship back to T.U.F.F! Suddenly, the T.U.F.F Shuttle get's caught in the sun's gravity.
"Kitty, Earth's the other way!"
"I know! We're caught in the sun's gravity!" Kitty said. Newbie, unbuckled herself. "I got this." she used her magic to make herself a space helmet and she teleported out. "Sarah!" Ren cried. Newbie changed into a Monstrous Nightmare dragon and she grabbed the TUFF Shuttle in her claws. She flapped her wings hard and she actually pulled us out of the suns' gravity. "She did it! We're out of the suns' gravity." Kaede said. Sarah took Bird Brain's ship outside T.U.F.F.
"We're alive!" Birdbrain said.
"And you're going to jail!" Kitty said.
"Who?" Owl asked.
"Us! She means us!" Birdbrain stated.
"Duck." Dudley said.
"His name's Skip!" Birdbrain hits head on doorway, "EGH! Oh, you meant the other "duck"." then he falls down stairs from his ship, disoriented, "I hate my life!"
In TUFF, the technology was restored. "Good work, agents! Now, hit that switch!" Chief said.
Dudley hits switch to restore power on Earth "Now, I can finally log in my high score!" Dudley said.
Suddenly, frigging chicken zombies appear out of nowhere. Carrie and Kaede screamed in fear and the nerd screamed too, hugging Ren. "Ah, zombie!" Ren cried.
"We're here to eat your - ba-bawk-bawk! - brains!" a chicken zombie moaned.
"Ah, they're real! How did this happen?!" Dudley asked.
"You made a deal with a race of chicken zombies, didn't you?" Nicole guessed.
"What? No, it's not because I made a deal with a race of chicken zombies, if that's what you're thinking." The chicken zombies surround Keswick, "I mean, RUUUUN!!" We all ran from the chicken zombies. "GAHHH! WOWWWW!" and we did an ending gag with the chicken zombies, Dudley, and Keswick.
After that incident, which newbie, thankfully ended by using her magic to send the rotten chicken zombies away, it was time for us to go back to Equestria. Can't believe it's been a month already. Time flies. "Hope oyu come back soon, everyone." Kitty said.
"You know we will." Sarah said. "Ready guys?"
"Yep. Let's go home." Ren said.
"Ready, newbie." I said. Keswick activated the portal and we all jumped in and my vision became all white.