"She and that ENTIRE store is EVIL," screeches Moonie in your office for what must have been the hundredth time now.
"Moonie, for the last time, she has no history of villainy."
"Everyone starts off somewhere! My first evil act was blotting out the sun and taking over the current governing body."
You roll your eyes and clean your glasses wistfully. Knowing every moment she is here in your office is a moment you're falling behind on your work. The form in front of you, a UR-YY, sits there blankly with what feels like an accusatory glare.
"Yes, well, she hasn't committed any evil so far so there's not a lot I can do about it... Also, you do realise I'm the mayor, right? Not the guard?"
"We have a town guard?"
"Yes," you nod firmly. It's a small one admittedly, but they're there.
"They're not very good," Moonie says plainly, "I didn't even know they exist, let alone noticed them trying to stop any of my antics."
Part of you wants to say how most of her antics these days are far more childish compared to her old days but that'd only upset her. And she'd feel the need to prove to you and herself that she still has it by taking over the candy store or the bakery, something along those lines.
"I have already instructed the guard to investigate Mrs Evil McSinisterson. But without a history, nothing can be done. Because there is a real chance that Mrs Evil McSinisterson isn't even a villain."
"Oh, yeah? You say her full name every time."
"What has that got to do with it?"
"People don't shorten a villain's name. Whatever a villain prefers to go by, even if it's a nickname of their full title, is what everyone calls them. Nobody calls Tirek 'Terry' or Discord isn't called 'Discy' or Chrysalis 'Chrissy'."
While you feel like she went with the worst possible examples, you can't help but feel like there is a glaring exception to this rule right in front of you. You sit there silently for a moment then when Moonie drifts back to reality to make eye contact with you, you grin. Widely. And then it's very clear that she had caught on because she immediately glares at you as if daring you to say it. Before you can state anything however, Moonie cuts you off.
"I'll find out what she is up to."
"While I feel it is my responsibility not only as Mayor but more importantly, your guardian, to encourage this new intention of being a Good Samaritan, I am wondering why?"
"What's a Samaritan?" She asks, cocking her head to the side a little.
"Someone who is helpful."
Moonie immediately dry retches.
"By the night, no. Never ever, EVER, call me that."
She over dramatises the whole thing, as you really should have expected. You sit there for a bit, resting your hand under your chin, to watch her as she carries on in feigned disgust.
"So no newfound sense of altruism?"
She starts up again and you chuckle but interrupt.
"Alright, alright. But really, why then?"
The midnight mare looks up at you, puzzled. Her face doesn't just look like the answer is obvious, but also seems a little wounded. While your heart pangs a little at the incidental insult, you also find yourself a little curious. Whatever the reason seems to have a lot of personal pride tied up in this for her.
"I am the villain plaguing Ponyville," Moonie voice goes monotone at first but then deepens as the builds upon the seriousness.
Her stance looks as if she is about to pounce, her gaze as cold as ice, and fangs flash behind flared lips as a temper you've not seen from her reveals itself.
"She has invaded my territory, failed to pay the proper respects to my sub-contracted overlord, and is trying to inflict evil upon my enslaved subjects. As Queen of the Eternal Night and the void beyond, this will not stand. Not only will I uncover her plans, I will break them utterly. Mark my words, Anonymous the Overlord-Mayor of Ponyville, Mrs Evil McSinisterson shall be brought to ruin."
A fire behind Nightmare Moon's eyes flares the intensity of her stare and her ethereal mane blows rather ominously in an non-existent wind. Passion and pride brought these words forth and not just the subject but the way she delivered them proves beyond doubt that there is little you can do to change her mind. And in an odd conflicting feeling, you find yourself hoping that Mrs Evil McSinisterson is a villain. Otherwise Moonie is about to inflict a fury on some very undeserving.
"This town ain't big enough for the two of you?" You reply coolly as you place the form back in it's place to focus on Moonie.
There is no reply. Instead she just grin her razor sharp fangs and storms out. With a heavy sigh, you grab a blank piece of paper and start making notes on a plan to save Mrs Evil McSinisterson in the event that she isn't a villain.